Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT When A Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie...
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.17.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Okay. This show has always asked a lot of its audience. Multiple storylines, randomly re-appearing tertiary characters, a likeable Jackie. But this week they may have finally gone one step too far. Aaron Echolls has an Oscar? I'm sure. Getting past it. So Veronica thinks maybe Weevil intended to blow up the rich bitch limo, assuming Logan would be in it. If that was indeed the plan, Weevil fucking sucks as an evil mastermind, no? But, since we're still four episodes before season's end, alternate theories abound. Such as: Kendall Casablancas looking to off her stepsons and cash in on their substantial life insurance policies. Keith is on the case, and, in the process, discovers "Kendall" is really Priscilla Banks, con-artist with a felonious past. He tasks Veronica with asking Logan for his and Kendall's coital schedule on the day of the crash. Sixty seconds of blistering ex chemistry later, Veronica gathers that Kendall was indeed, er, unencumbered at the time of detonation. Meanwhile, Veronica gets asked by a classmate to find the driver of a green Plymouth Barracuda that ran over his dog. Funny he should mention, because Gia tells Veronica that just before the bus crashed, she saw a green Barracuda speed past the limo, pressing some hams along the way, if you get my and the episode title's drift. Gia, also, casually mentions how her dad -- mayor/creep/actual killer (my current guess) Woody Goodman -- called her cell phone right before the bus went boom. After some digging, Veronica finds the car in the garage of a surly old blind lady. She plants a bug in the dash and finds a gun in the glove compartment. Turns out the car is being driven (if not owned) by Liam Fitzpatrick. Veronica picks up the car's signal and follows it to where Liam is picking up Kendall at what turns out to be her bachelorette pad. Too bad Keith found it first, and a heat-packin' Liam is headed inside. A tense little standoff reveals that a) Liam would have totally shot and killed Keith if b) Veronica Mars weren't smarter than me, you, and everyone she knows, and hadn't swiped the bullets back in Grandma Fitz's garage. Keith uncovers Kendall's past relationship with elder Fitzpatrick brother Cormac and thinks she may have gotten the Fitzes to blow up some stepsons for her. Elsewhere, Jackie proves apt at her new job at Java; she and Wallace make prom plans, even though she's bound for Paris after graduation; Weevil uses Thumper's old distribution list to get the PCHers out from under the Fitzpatricks' thumb; and the price of Mac getting her cell phone interceptor back from Clemmons's office is a prom date with Butters. Oh, and apparently, Kendall's shower drain expedition a few episodes ago has borne fruit, as Duncan's hairs turn up on Aaron's (heh) Oscar statue, found buried in the Kane backyard with Lilly's blood on it. The huh? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Many thanks to Joe R for skillfully covering the recaplet of this week's episode when coverage in my market was preempted. I hope the Nets flame out of the playoffs, because if I have to watch any of the remaining three episodes on a day's delay, I'm gonna be hella pissed. On the other hand, my dad would be interested to know that for the first time since I was a kid, I've got a rooting interest in basketball. Of course, he'd say it's the wrong team and the wrong interest, but if we saw eye to eye about things like that, we'd probably still be talking.
What?
Oh, right, the recap. Cliff pours Veronica a glass of water as an oily voice inquires as to whether she'd like him to repeat his question. She says yes, so he asks whether she actually saw Lilly and Haaron having "intercourse" on the sex tape. Veronica tells him that a sheet was covering them, but that "the motion of their bodies" suggested copulation. There's also the fact that since Haaron's well known to have fucked half of Balboa County's women, it's pretty unlikely that he still engages in much dry humping. Although I suppose his prison stay could have changed his view on that. The examiner, "Mr. Lavois" or some such, inappropriately asks whether Veronica has much experience in that department and, when Cliff cuts in, says that he merely needs to determine whether Veronica knows what sex looks like. It's too bad Veronica's sitting behind a table, because this would be a perfect opportunity for her to smile knowingly and give him a Basic Instinct-esque twirl of her leg. It's noir, baby, and the name for the genre has never seemed more apt than when it's associated with Sharon Stone's nether regions. Anyway, Cliff says that Veronica has completed the required sex-ed class at Neptune High, and Veronica says that she got an A-minus. Considering how she treated her "baby," I wonder how she managed that. I'd suspect grade inflation, if we didn't know that Ms. Hauser hasn't really had a lot of luck with inflation lately. Veronica adds that she watches Animal Planet. The devil's henchman here breathes that statutory rape is a grave accusation. Veronica: "Not to a murderer." I hate to nitpick this late in the season, but this thing with the tapes always bugged me, so here's a question: just because the murder trial is taking this long is no reason to have delayed the statutory-rape trial, is it? I mean, is this hearing concomitant to the murder trial? Because if not, it should have been wrapped up ages ago, which means this is another teetering piece on top of an already wobbly storyline. Mr. Lavois concludes by asking whether Veronica's still keeping in touch with Duncan. Veronica looks scared and confused at the mention of his name. She is not alone.
Chez Mars. Veronica's popping something in the microwave, when Keith arrives home and is all, "Prepare to have your mind blown." Considering how close it is to the end of the season, that's good advice for all of us. Veronica cutely says that she was born ready, so Keith tells Veronica that Big Dick was using the life-insurance policy he took out on his sons as a tax shelter. Boy, Keith, if you want to blow people's minds, I'd stay away from any sentence with "tax" in it that doesn't also include the word "refund." Anyway, the point is that the payout on the policy is over eight figures, and that if the brothers die simultaneously, Kendall would receive the money. I get why both of them would have to die, because it seems logical to think that if only one of them died, the other brother would be the beneficiary. However, the thought of Dick's life being worth anything to anyone other than lube manufacturers and porn distributors is an idea that's really blowing my mind here. Well played, Keith. Veronica sighs that the "wicked stepmother" trying to off her husband's kids sounds like a Disney movie, and she'll get no argument from me on that point. Keith says that while Kendall certainly had motive, he's not sure about her capability, but Veronica demurs: "She went from Spandex to cashmere pretty fast." Veronica's got a point, especially if Kendall hit both those sartorial choices without ending up on Go Fug Yourself. Keith says that he'll poke around and find out what Kendall was up to the day of the crash.