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If they were going to put Icetwin in the thankfully-normal-length-this-week previouslies, why didn't they put him in last week's promo? Sometimes I think television departments are like a whole bunch of appendages without a brain to guide them. (No reflection on Dawn Ostroff, who I think is a lovely, lovely woman, and about whom I hope never to have to say anything negative, HINT HINT.) Also, like anyone who went to Austin, I've known about the Michael Cera/Alia Shawkat casting for quite some time, but the fact that this episode is finally here -- I can hardly contain myself. However, Rob explained that those two agreed to appear on the show only if their roles were nothing like those they play on Arrested Development, so I guess the only thing I can do is refrain from making any references to that show in this recap. Now let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was.
In English, the nasal female teacher whom we haven't seen in quite some time snarks on Dick, who -- shockingly -- apparently doesn't do so hot in the class. If only playing with yourself were a scholarly pursuit. The teacher hands out a description of an essay contest sponsored by The Woodman. Apparently, the kids have to write about freedom, and the winner gets a week's internship as The Woodman's apprentice. And the fact that winning a contest by writing about freedom earns you a week of indentured servitude is just the sort of creepy cluelessness that I'd expect from The Woodman. On the plus side, the winner will get to stand by Woody as he blows up Old Shark Stadium, and the fact that Veronica didn't immediately make the connection between explosives and The Woodman is just...easy enough to believe this season, unfortunately. Dick: "Nuke the stadium? Damn! Now I totally wish I could write good." That's totally Dick, even if it is a little cornball.
Outside, Veronica sighs that Logan should be able to write quite an essay on freedom, since his case has been dismissed. Also dismissed was the big "I think I've done something horrible" cliffhanger from last episode, which...what? Veronica asks whether Hannah understood why Logan wouldn't be seeing her anymore, so I guess the bargain with Dad was the "horrible thing" he was referring to, but why unload to Veronica? I suppose she was the only one who knew the game Logan was playing, but it still seems like an odd choice for him to come in and interrupt her shift right at the end of an episode, making it seem like a real cliffhanger...oh. I just caught myself up. Anyway, Logan hasn't so much told Hannah that her services, such as they are, will no longer be required, and at Veronica's exasperation, he leaves in a huff.
Wallace shows up, and since he and Logan were both in the same shot, I suppose you could count this as their long-awaited scene together. I was kind of hoping for more, like Wallace puffing up his chest in Logan's face and being all, "If you ever hurt her again, I'll...oh, wait, she broke your heart, right? Sorry, man. Want a snickerdoodle?" Wallace does mention Logan, saying he can't believe Logan got off the hook, and then they discuss their visit to Hearst College, about which Wallace is psyched and Veronica is not. Wallace exposits that the average Hearst SAT score is a 1280, and Veronica points out that Wallace only got an 1140. But Veronica, he plays sports, like basketball and sidekick. Wallace says it's down to him and one other guy for an athletic scholarship, and encourages Veronica to come with him for the visit. Veronica tells him that if Hearst were in, say, Maine instead of Neptune, she'd be excited. Jeez, Veronica, that seems a little insensitive, both to Wallace's feelings and to what I can only imagine are your dad's. Not to mention that I think a third season of Wallace and Keith sipping coffee at your kitchen counter and pointedly trying not to talk about how much they miss you wouldn't exactly be a ratings juggernaut. I'd still watch it, though.