Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Say It Ain't So, Jo...er, "Terrence"!
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.07.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.There's a senior trip coming up, and the haves want to go to Catalina, while the have-nots want to visit Magic Mountain. But first, they need to raise money for the trip, so Winter Carnival it is. Jackie is currently the most hated girl in school, thanks to her dad's being arrested in the bus crash investigation. There's a lot to distract from that, though, as Beaver and Mac are dating, despite Dick's total jerkitude, and so are Wallace and Jane. Also, it's Triton-streaking time again, and Veronica manages to lose a strongbox full of money in two minutes flat. Slightly more disturbing than that development is Logan's somewhat assy new haircut, and even more disturbing than that is his argyle sweater, which is fuglier than anything Duncan ever sported, and no, I am not kidding. This does not prevent him, however, from turning on the charm to a nice blonde named Hannah. Madison points a bitchy finger at Jackie over the theft, and Veronica at first is led to believe that that accusation is correct, but realizes that Jackie is in just the same position Veronica was a year ago, except wetter. Like Veronica last year, though, Jackie can at least count on Wallace to be a nice guy. Some investigation ends up pointing to Thumper as the culprit, but she digs deeper and also busts a Triton who's close to her for the Kane scholarship, and, most satisfyingly, the bitchy MS. Hauser. Other revelations: Logan looks like he might only be after Hannah because her dad is the guy who claimed he made the anonymous call from the bridge; Weevil set Thumper up while deftly dancing around Veronica; and Beaver can be an amusingly nasty little kid. But in bus-crash land, Cook goes to see Keith for help, and after Keith updates his squee journal, Cook tells him that Lamb thinks he detonated a bomb by making a call to a cell phone belonging to someone on the bus. Keith also confronts Cook about his relationship with Naima, and Cook confesses that Naima broke up his engagement. Keith also finds out that Cook threw a big game to pay off a gambling debt, and it was two of the Fitzpatricks who were the ones that came to "remind" him about that debt. Also, Naima overheard the whole thing. Keith is wrenchingly disillusioned with this big revelation about Cook, but agrees to take his case anyway. Wow. One more episode like this and I may forget ever asking "What season mysteries?" Want more? The full recap starts right below!
I'm sometimes annoyed with how revealing these previews are, but that doesn't mean I didn't giggle at "Say 'repressed homosexuality'!" for the billionth time.
Neptune High. In a classroom, some jock hangs a sign that reads "Welcome to Winter Carnival" on a snowman. Veronica enters and walks by some gangly dude and Madison sitting at table working on another sign. Madison informs the guy that he's going too heavy on the Elmer's: "Do I look like I enjoy being covered in white goo?" You know, as I mentioned once before, the censors should really start looking for cues from the characters, such as Corny's and Weevil's obvious guffawing here. Because it's clear that the censors are so bad at identifying dirty double entendres that I'm expecting the next new student at Neptune to be named "Haywood Jablome." MS. Hauser shushes Corny and Weevil before asking Veronica what she wants, not without some annoyance. Veronica says that Mr. Pope sent her to get some decorations for the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) booth, so Ms. Hauser asks the gangly dude, "J.B.," to get the "hills." The only references "hills" immediately cause to spring to my mind are "there's gold in them there..." and "...are alive with the sound of music." I guess the former is what was being aimed at, but now I have the image stuck in my head of the entire FBLA class twirling around while holding sprigs of edelweiss. Hang on a minute, I want to enjoy this. J.B. protests that he can't help Veronica, since she's his nemesis, but then leaves with a sly smile. Madison chuckles, because unlike the censors, she's able to derive meaning from context. Veronica asks Madison, "His nemesis? Did we break up?" Well, Veronica, you didn't stay around for the whole slumber party. Not that I blame you. Madison finishes up her sign by blowing a lot of excess glitter off it.
Across the room, Corny is stoner-talking with Weevil. Ms. Hauser snits that the next week's exam is worth 30% of their grade and, at Corny's stoner-laugh, mutters that one day her ship will come in. Weevil asks if only the kids with the scissors and the glue can talk, but Ms. Hauser smoothly counters that the student council is working hard to raise money for the senior trip. Weevil exposits that the non-09ers want to go to Magic Mountain, but Madison says it's going to be Catalina: "I am not spending my senior trip watching you hurl hot dog and orange drink off Batman The Ride." A fair sentiment, since they'd probably wait to do so until Madison was right under them. J.B. returns with the hills, and tells Veronica she'd better watch her back, since he's only three thousandths of a point behind her in the Kane Scholarship race. We haven't seen Veronica studying much this season, but I'm willing to believe she's been keeping up her average, if only because winning the race will not only take care of her financial concerns but will cause Celeste's head to explode in an apoplectic rage. Come to think of it, I'd bet she'd pass up the former if the latter were guaranteed. Ms. Hauser heaps praise on Madison, Veronica and Madison snit at each other, and then...