Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Meeeeooooow! (Ffffft!)
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.29.2005
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Clemmons busts Veronica for having the keys to the school Wallace gave her, so he gives her grunt work involving old permanent records. This lets her discover that her mom was suspended for something unknown. Surprisingly, it's not alcohol-related, as Veronica digs around and finds out that Celeste broke Jake and Lianne up, and then Lianne went around spreading a rumor, which Veronica assumes was about Celeste. At Veronica's request, Keith finds out that a baby was found abandoned in the girls' bathroom at Neptune High. Meanwhile, Logan and friends beat up Weevil and tie him to the flagpole, and if Weevil already was starting to lose control over his gang, I don't think this is exactly going to help. Weevil and Logan decide to team up in secret to find out who killed Felix, but first they have a knock-down drag-out to make things look good for everyone. Considering the state of their faces afterward, I'm not sure the plan was entirely sound. Beaver hires Mac to design a website for his new real-estate company, and if there's a couple I could ever consider 'shipping, this one is at the top of the list. Since he's only sixteen, he hires Kendall to front the business. Can wacky hijinx be far behind? Trina shows up to direct a school play and is immediately Veronica's BFF. Kendall drops by the Neptune Grand to see Duncan, and it doesn't look like anything happened between them before, but it does lead to Trina and Kendall having a Buffy-reunion smackdown, although it's Logan who gets one of the best lines of the entire series. A second Neptune Grand smackdown ensues between Veronica and Celeste, teaching the Buffy alumnae how it's done. The prom baby, it turns out, is Trina, but her mom isn't Celeste -- it's a mute woman who's worked at the school for years. Also, Trina's dad is the principal. Surprisingly, both these revelations bring out the best in Trina, and in the end, Clemmons is principal, and what's more, that was his plan all along. I knew I liked him. Also, Veronica finds out that her mom used to be nice. Memories! Veronica discovers the rat Keith found on the bus, and he emotionally tells her she was right -- he should have made sure that he won the election so that he could be on the case. And finally, Veronica stops by the hospital to get Koontz's things, and discovers that Meg is pregnant. I guess I owe the posters a Coke. And if Veronica hadn't been in such a hurry to get out of there, she could have seen Meg wake up. But there had been enough awkward for one episode. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
MS., and don't you forget it, Hauser is informing her class, in which sit Duncan and Veronica, that they're moving on to Phase II of Sex Ed. She takes a large baby doll out of a box and intones, "Welcome to parenthood." If this is Phase II, I can only hope the PTA doesn't find out what happened in this classroom during Phase I. Veronica notes, "So that's where babies come from," and Duncan laughs, because having a sense of humor about babies makes complete sense for his character at the moment. Ms. Hauser tells the class that, for the next five days, they will each be taking care of their very own "Baby Think-It-Over." Heh. Ms. Hauser then exaggeratedly grabs the doll by the leg and dangles it upside-down, and it starts to cry. She informs the class that the "babies" (there are several other dolls visible in the background) have very sophisticated sensors and memory chips, so if the students screw up in taking care of them, there will be a record of it, and they won't pass the class. With those sensors, High School Mommy and Daddy had better think twice before a-rockin' the car at Inspiration Rock Quarry. Ms. Hauser instructs the class to pair up and pick one "baby" for each couple, but then hands Veronica a note summoning her out of class, so Veronica tells Duncan to pick a good one while she goes to see The Man...
...and then Veronica's rudely opening the door to VP Clemmons's office without knocking. Learn some manners, girl. She tries cracking a couple of jokes, but Clemmons icily asks her to hand over her keys. Veronica tosses one set onto the table, but Clemmons merely smiles and asks her for all her keys. Veronica, looking slightly busted, produces a second set, and from the look on her face, it's got to include the master key Wallace gave her in the season premiere. Clemmons picks it up, goes over to his office door, and fits one of the keys into the lock and successfully turns it. Veronica says that she can explain, but Clemmons says she doesn't have to. Well, maybe not, Van the Man, but that's no excuse for depriving us of the pleasure of hearing what was bound to be a doozy of a story. Anyway, Clemmons says that the district has put in a security system to keep track of after-hours visitors, but Veronica notes that she doesn't see any cameras, so Clemmons can't prove that she broke in. Clemmons wonders, then, how Veronica could have gotten her hands on the drug-test results. I'd point out, in light of what happens later, that Veronica actually used Clemmons's own key to get the results, which I noted was kind of overly convenient at the time. Probably a coincidence, but if that was the start of his plan, that's pretty awesome -- the only question is why he took so long to bust Veronica. Then again, being called a "powerless factotum" is just the sort of thing that can cause people to get their asses in gear. Veronica wonders if Clemmons means the faked test results, and starts to snot, "Usually, when I save your butt..." Veronica still looks tiny to me, so it's kind of a surprise how much she's outgrown her britches. Clemmons asks her about a couple of her other keys, the second of which "fits any Vespa scooter." She claims that she likes to come prepared, but with a limited number of keys that can fit on the ring, I would have thought she'd go for a key that fit something cooler, like, say, any Harley. Perhaps she figured that if she were caught in the act, the average Vespa owner wouldn't brain her with a lead pipe, but if she keeps up with the snotty attitude, that could prove to be a miscalculation. Clemmons threatens Veronica with suspension, and she worriedly says that would make her ineligible for the Kane Scholarship. Well, considering that we haven't seen Veronica crack a book all season, I don't think that's the only thing that's going to make her ineligible. Clemmons softens the punishment to detention.