Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 5 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Meeeeooooow! (Ffffft!)
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.29.2005
Duncan puts down the "baby" and tells his mom she's early. She replies that she wanted to give him his clean clothes before dinner, as a young blonde woman follows her in with a box presumably containing the aforementioned laundry. Oy, doesn't the Grand have laundry service? Is this all so we can think this girl is the prom baby for five minutes? Celeste asks what "she" is doing here, and Veronica snits that "she" supposes she's there as "Duncan's secret girlfriend." Also, she picks up the baby and tells Celeste that they have a love child. Well, at least it's fitting that that creepy thing is an expression of the feelings Duncan and Veronica share. Veronica offers to let Celeste hold the "baby," but Celeste predictably passes, and then snaps at "Astrid" to stop gawking and put down the clothes. Celeste then bites out that she told Jake something like this would happen, and that they should have taken Duncan up to Napa with them. Veronica responds by making not-so-subtle allegations to the prom baby, to which Celeste responds, "Does she ever make sense, Duncan?" Veronica, in turn, asks if Celeste ever thaws out. Celeste: "When I look at your face, all I see is your drunk slut of a mother!" Well, that line was pretty warm, at least. Duncan finally figures out that everything isn't sunshine and roses, so he loudly asks Veronica for a moment alone with his mother. Veronica takes the "baby" and stomps into the bedroom. I'm no big fan of Veronica's bitchy attitude lately, but I think all bets are off when you play the "your mother is a drunken slut" card. Also, Celeste is one nasty piece of work.
In the bedroom, Astrid is folding clothes. With Duncan and Celeste's raised voices audible in the background, Veronica asks how Astrid can stand working for Celeste. Astrid says it's tough, but that Celeste promised to pay her way through grad school the next year. If the mention of Celeste's charity jostles Veronica into realizing that she just had a catfight with the woman she desperately wants to send her to college, she does a good job of hiding it. Veronica has just enough time to determine that Astrid is twenty-five and dyes her hair blonde before Celeste opens the door and snaps that they're leaving. Astrid bails, and VMVO babbles a lot of stuff about Astrid being the prom baby that will be debunked so fast that you'll find it on snopes.com before I finish typing this sentence.
Logan asks a teacher that we've seen many times before, Ms. GetTheMarblesOutOfYourMouthJasonDohring (or "Murphy," if you prefer), if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher makes an observation about how Logan is always going to the bathroom during this period, so clearly Logan is the target of a secret society that poisons its victims with a flood of diuretics. (Hey, I'm just trying to compete with the wild speculations advanced in the forums over that revelation. It's not easy.)