Weapons Of Class Destruction

Oh, one other thing: I didn't take the time to find the relevant recap last week, but it was indeed Demian who dubbed Ken Marino "Gonzo the Chinless Wonder" right here. Just another example of his brilliance.

Mars porch. Veronica and Deputy Leo are checking each other to make sure no one's absconded with their tonsils. It's nice that they can do things like that as a couple. In profile, Deputy Leo's hair looks a lot like Elvis's. Which is appropriate, as he's soon going to be taking up residence at the Heartbreak Hotel. Leo asks when he's going to be invited into the Mars apartment, as he wants "a really good long look at your bedroom ceiling." For those of you who thought that was inappropriate, at least he didn't say anything about Veronica taking a good long look at the floor. Veronica notes that college girls must be easy, and Leo marbles that this is his A material. "They swoon." Yes, but whether they regain consciousness is the relevant question. Veronica says her dad's home, as she saw his car. She probably also heard his rifle being cocked, but she keeps that to herself. Leo asks, "He's cool with us, right?" Veronica says he has made a couple of comments about the "29-month age difference." I wonder what his handle on the boards is. Veronica says that on the other hand, Keith likes the fact that Leo carries a gun. And I'm thinking after their little hot and heavy lip-lock, he's carrying a spare at the moment. Veronica says that sleepover bad, Leo good, and that satisfies Leo, who says he'll call her tomorrow. He'll be calling her something soon, but I don't think that's what he means. He leaves.

Veronica enters the house to find Keith putting stuff into the refrigerator. Veronica tries to bust him for spying, for which there is precedent, but Keith, with a shit-eating grin, tells her they need to talk. Keith starts to tell Veronica that her mom has been gone for over a year now. Veronica looks upset, her fantasy of her mom returning from Barstow on an alcohol-free sunbeam collapsing before her eyes. Or something. Keith says he wanted to wait until he was sure he had feelings for the person, but he and "Alicia" agreed that it was time. Veronica in a series of quick close-ups that make her look like the cutest, tiniest beached whale, chokes out, "Wallace's MOM?" Cut to Wallace practically spitting toothpaste everywhere with a "WHAT?" His mom, whom I'm going to call Alicia and not Coco, but only because I like her, smiles and is all, "From your reaction, I'd say you heard me just fine!" Hee. Cut back to Veronica gaping and goggling some more, but before she starts to turn blue, we head into the opening credits.

Outside, Alicia, picking up on Wallace's mood, asks if he and Veronica had a fight. He says no, and that he's just looking out for Alicia. She tells him that she's a big girl, and what's more, he needs to see how happy she is. For the first time, she feels at home in Neptune, and Keith's a good man. "Let me have this, please." Wallace looks skeptical. He's a tough sell. Alicia, you had me at "Remember my name."

School. Veronica enters a classroom to find Mac in a heated debate with the unfortunately-haired guy from Veronica's English class. They're flirting under the guise of arguing about computer technology. Hey, there has to be a way that guys with hair that bad can score some action. Besides alcohol, I mean. Veronica interrupts to ask Mac if she could take a look at her computer, as she can't get it to boot up. The worst nightmare of every recapper. Mac says sure, but she has to take it with her, as she's in a rush. Veronica says everything important is password-protected. Well, considering that her murder investigation files were on her desktop, I'm confused as to how that works, but then again, I didn't find myself getting the vapors when Mac was doing her geek-speak with Bad Hair Guy. Mac leaves, and BHG asks Veronica for a moment. He tells Veronica that "Norris and that new kid Ben" were throwing tennis balls at stray cats. "The tennis balls were exploding." How very.

At their adjacent lockers, Veronica asks Wallace if she's really his best friend. Nothing against Wallace, but basketball-star status or not, it doesn't seem like people are exactly lining up for the job. Wallace says as much, and they smile doofily at each other. Aw. Veronica sees JTT, who's the new kid Ben, and his friend walking down the hall. She asks Wallace if he's heard anything about Ben. Wallace gets his feathers ruffled, as he thinks she wants him to get Ben's file. Well, at least he's good with the pattern recognition. Veronica attempts to appease Wallace by saying that she's asking for the greater good. Considering it will move the JTT storyline along toward its can't-be-too-soon conclusion, I have to agree. Wallace says that it's the friend Veronica should be checking into, as he was wearing a shirt that said, "Kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out." Still in a mood with Veronica, Wallace leaves. He's such a pill about that forty-seventh favor.

Veronica goes to TWoP -- er, the "KillemAll" site, and hears mwa-ha-haing as she finds a clock counting down 46-odd hours untilsomething. I thank God that real-time scripted drama hasn't caught on as we go to commercial. Sorry, Kiefer.

Journalism room. Veronica enters to find Duncan creepily sitting in the darkened classroom. Mood lighting, I guess. He notes her presence, but says nothing. Veronica: "That was either a really poor warm welcome or an excellent cold shoulder." And you'd think after the last year she'd be an expert at the lower region of the thermometer. Duncan bites out that Logan told him about the murder investigation files, and asks if there's one on him. Veronica tells him there's a file on everyone connected with Lilly. Duncan asks what his file says, and turns to face her. Veronica steels herself and tells him it contains information on his epilepsy and medication, and says he has violent outbursts. Perhaps telling him this in an empty classroom isn't the best move, but maybe she's got her taser at the ready underneath that jacket. Duncan asks who she thinks she is, and starts to storm out, but Veronica calls out that she's Lilly's best friend. Duncan points out that Lilly is dead and her confessed killer is in jail, but Veronica yells that he was paid to confess. Duncan thinks that's crazy. "Who would pay?" And we'll just wait for Mr. Triton Scholarship Richie Rich Kid to catch up to the rest of the class. Duncan still thinks it's crazy that she suspects his parents of doing anything wrong, and starts to leave again, but Veronica asks him if he remembers what happened the day of the murder. Duncan stops, and softly notes that Veronica thinks he killed Lilly. His voice rises as he approaches her and asks how she could think that, and she tells him to calm down. Duncan yells, "Why? You think I'm gonna have another episode and kill you too?" And you can just take a screencap of Veronica's face for the time you want to know what "Well, now that you mention it" looks like. Duncan makes a series of weird faces that are meant to convey chagrin at his outburst, but only end up making him look like he's going to throw up. Which, considering the speed at which he runs away, is certainly a possible eventuality. Aw, poor Teddy Dunn. He tried.

Outside, Veronica looks upset. She sees Ben and Norris having a spat, and then Ben takes off. VMVO wonders whether she should wallow in her grief over betraying Duncan, or keep an eye on the kid who might blow up the school. Deciding that she can handle both, Veronica sees Ben get into his car, and tails him to

the Camelot Motel, where Jake Kane ostensibly met Lianne in the pilot. And here you thought this mission would be the distraction from your emotional turmoil. Veronica snaps some photos of Ben. Cut to somewhere else, where Veronica sees Ben load several bags of what looks like fertilizer into his car. Oh, I forgot to mention: Nice station wagon, Death Guy. Veronica also sees that Ben is in possession of an automatic weapon that would give anyone with an NRA card a hard-on. Of course, given certain compensating feelings carrying a gun affords, it might be difficult to tell. Veronica's phone rings, and she smiles when she sees the caller ID. It's Logan, calling to tell her that he told Duncan about the files. If that's what Duncan was upset about "all day," as what Meg said indicates, it seems weird that Logan is only telling Veronica this now. I think perhaps he wanted to make Duncan angry with Veronica to ensure the two of them would stay away from each other. It's what the psychotic jackass in him would do, anyway. Veronica asks Logan if he's talked to Duncan since school let out, but is interrupted by an armed Ben opening the passenger door, getting in, and telling her they're going for a ride. That was a good, creepy moment, only slightly marred by the fact that Veronica has learned a few tricks over the past year, and thus should know to LOCK HER FREAKING DOORS. Anyway, Logan hears all this, and it doesn't look like Veronica hangs up the call, either, so now it's Ben's turn for the "NICE JOB." Ben tells Veronica to return to where she first followed him to, and Veronica takes care to explicitly say the Camelot's name. Ben then tells her to be quiet, as he needs to think for a minute. It's a good thing they're in a car, so it won't be so obvious where the gear-grinding noises are coming from.