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Well it figures that one of the few times The Vampire Diaries takes a moment to let it breathe, we all end up with a snootful of rotting corpse. I'm so depressed right now, I don't feel like watching this show ever again. Don't get me wrong; aside from a few logistical head-scratchers and the tortured mythology that has bogged down Season Gore Cure Bore Four, "Stand By Me" is a strong episode. It just left me wanting to shuffle off this mortal coil.
I don't understand how this all happens -- how we go through this. I mean, I knew her him and then she's he's... there's just a body. And I don't understand why she he just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And Xander's Matt's crying and not talking. And I was having fruit punch wine and I thought well, Joyce Jeremy will never have any more fruit punch wine ever. And she'll he'll never have eggs or yawn or brush her his hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.
That paragraph I've pilfered from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is all I feel like saying about "Stand By Me," but sadly, I don't get paid to pull out relevant Jossisms and apply them to other shows. Okay. I don't only get paid to pull out relevant Jossisms and apply them to other shows. So let's talk about The Vampire Diaries, shall we?
Jeremy is really and sincerely dead. Stefan helps Elena bring him home, because the Contrivance Fairy has trapped Damon on Craphole Island Down East and won't release him until he finds Bonnie. Along with Rebekah, Damon questions Vaughn, who, unsurprisingly, has been working with Katherine. From what Vaughn says, it sounds like the search for Katherine will lead us to New Orleans, just in time to set up the backdoor pilot for The Originals.
"Shane" finds Bonnie and uses his death to tempt her into more fully helping Silas. Once Silas became immortal a.k.a. the Original Original Vampire, he could no longer wield magic. Bonnie has to be his wand, as it were. They'll need to sacrifice another dozen people to harness all the juju needed and complete the mystical triangle of convolution, but "Shane" lies that those sacrificed will all be brought back by Silas (and later contradicts this). Bonnie refuses to play his reindeer games, until she trips over what is only a Silas-induced vision of a dying Jeremy (the truly dead Jeremy is already back at Gilbert Gables). When her magic flares out of control, "Shane" talks her down and talks her into riding shotgun to crazy town. Just when Damon has given up looking for her, Bonnie stumbles out of the woods. Damon is so happy he could hug her -- and, in fact, does. That might be the most shocking development on The Vampire Diaries. Ever.
Back in Mystic Falls, Elena watches over Jeremy's corpse. She argues that since his hunter's mark disappeared, perhaps he was no longer supernatural when he died so the Protect-o Ring may yet save him. Meanwhile, people in the neighboring county are overwhelmed by the stench of his decaying flesh. Stefan brings Meredith over to examine the body. When Meredith gently explains the condition of the corpse to Elena, Elena dials the denial up to 11 and says Mystic Falls isn't about Science -- it's about magic. Caroline brings Matt to Gilbert Gables, in hopes that he can help. Matt does his best and brings Elena to the Stoner Pit at school, where both Vicki and Jeremy have left their marks. There, he tells her it is okay to hope, which seems contrary to his mission, but Matt has been living with this loss for however much time has elapsed on this crazy show. I think my Poor Pudding Pop can't bear to burst his best girl's bubble.
By the time Damon and Bonnie return to town, our Evil Pixie Monster realizes that Bonnie has lost touch with reality. While Bonnie vomits her crazy all over the rest of the Fellowship of the Falls, Damon and Stefan have a private talk outside. Bonnie tells Elena and the gang that if they slaughter another dozen victims, they'll have completed the magical triangle and will have enough mojo to tear down the veil between their world and the other side. It seems that back when Q trapped Silas in the tomb, she created The Other Side as a sort of purgatory for supernaturals, so clearly, Q was a ghost writer for Season Six of Lost. Once the veil is torn, all the supernaturals who ever died, including not only Jeremy, but Jenna, Alaric, Vicki, Grams and a thousand million brazillion monsters will be loosed. And here I sit, having already squandered the word cockamamie on Elena's plan to kill Kol.
Elena is shocked by the insanity spewing from her BFF. Before she can summon up a response, the phone rings. It's April, looking for Jeremy. In that moment, the truth pierces Elena's illusions and she speaks it: Jeremy is dead. While Matt takes Bonnie home and Caroline returns to Fortress Forbes to leave yet another voice mail for Tyler, Stefan and Elena watch helplessly as Elena breaks down in in the most spectacular fashion. She pours lighter fluid over Jeremy, his sketches, family pictures, a journal and everything else she can, as she explains that they need a cover for Jeremy's death and she needs to stop living smack dab in the middle of Loss Central. Damon stops her just before she drops the match. Her sobs are too much for the Salvatores, though, the big wusses. This girl needs to cry hard and she needs to do it, right now. There's no skipping over this pain. The only way out is through. Stefan begs Damon to use the sire bond to help their girlfriend. Eventually, Damon orders Elena to turn it off -- it being her humanity. She complies. That'll end well, I'm sure.
Although now she has become comfortably numb, in the end, Elena still decides she never again wants to set foot in Gilbert Gables, so she lights another match. Her brother -- her belongings -- her memories go up in smoke. Caroline should have been here to advise Elena to save a few outfits. Yes, I know our girl is grieving, but she can't walk around naked for the rest of the season. This is the CW, not HBO.
Back on Craphhole Down East, Rebekah "Alone Again Naturally" Mikaelsson makes her way to the shore and finds Shane, lying in pain. All he can say is "Silas." Meanwhile, as Bonnie approaches the Bennett Bungalow, "Shane" approaches her. This is when he admits that while the supernaturals will rise again, the humans sacrificed are pretty much dead. I just hope someone realizes that Finn, Kol, Esther and Mikael the Vampire-Vampire Slayer will be resurrected as well, and puts a stop to this. Of course they'll have to find Katherine, get The Bore from her and ram it down Silas's throat. I hope he's still wearing his Shane meatsuit at the time, because that will make it doubly fun to watch.
I'm going to go sit in the truck and cry with Matt. Once I've composed myself, I will return with the full recap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.
Bid a final farewell to Jeremy Gilbert, look back this episode's most jaw-dropping moments and get the scoop on what's from our friends at Wetpaint.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!I stopped covering the "Previouslies" for this show because... well because they get on my nerves. The recap at the top of "Stand By Me" though, has changed enough since the beginning of Season Gore Cure Bore, that I'll give you the skinny. It's all about the Bore. Elena: "I'm Elena Gilbert -- a vampire in search of the cure." Shane: "You dig up Silas and you've got your cure." Vaughn: "There is only one dose." Jeremy hugs his sister/half-cousin. "I really want to get that cure for you." Before snapping his neck, Rebekah tells Stefan: "If I gave you the cure to take yourself, you'd give it to Elena, wouldn't you?" Stefan narrates: "We all want it." Damon tells Stefan: "Help Elena get the damned thing." Bonnie: "We've risked everything to get it." Elena tells Stefan: "She's here!" Jeremy yells, "Katherine," as our girl Kiki grabs him and force feeds his blood to Silas's desiccated corpse. When Silas grabs Jeremy's neck. Katherine grabs the box containing the Bore. Silas snaps Jeremy's neck. Our poor Germ falls dead on the crypt floor. Still speaking of their Race for the Cure, Jeremy narrates: "And we failed."
Now back home at Gilbert Gables, Elena looks at a broken frame containing one photo of her and one of Jeremy from their younger days. She flashes back to the...
Cave. Elena finds her brother's his dead body, grabs his hand to ensure the Protect-o Ring is still in place, then sobs half to herself, and half to her Dead Jeremy, that he's going to be fine. Stefan watches from a distance. After a time cut, he catches Damon up. Katherine has been following them; if there was a Bore in the crypt, it is gone, as is Bonnie. Stefan tells Damon that although Elena's waiting for the ring to resurrect Jeremy, since he was one of The Five and a hunter, his newly acquired supernaturality means the ring will no longer work. Damon says: "She won't survive this. I'll find Bonnie. You get Elena off this Island." Isn't that backwards? Contrivance Fairy: "Hey, someone has to watch out for the Stefan/Elena fans." We cut to...
Gilbert Gables. When Stefan, Elena and Jeremy's corpse get home, they find Caroline trying to scrub extra crispy Kol off the floor. Yes, they've just traveled somewhere between 1200 and 1500 miles and crossed an international border -- with a corpse. Whether by land, air or sea, that must have been fun at customs. Caroline is shocked to see that Jeremy's dead, and disturbed when she realizes Elena thinks there is a prayer of that ring bringing him back. Stefan lays Jeremy's body on his bed. Elena sits to him and holds his hand. She's just going to wait until he wakes up. We cut to...
Craphole Island, Down East. A little JTI in the forums was bugged by my use of "Down East" because, and I quote: "It's supposed to be off the coast of Nova Scotia -- unless girlfriend is writing from the Arctic Circle, that's just about the opposite of 'Down'." We finally subscribed to Netflix, and I've been mainlining episodes of Scrubs, which I just mention so you'll appreciate the restraint I've exercised in referring to our new member as a JTI, rather than Newbie. Look, Newbie JTI, click the links. They're what's for breakfast. Let's start a new paragraph. I'm going to take you off the links leash and see how you do...
Craphole Island, Down East. As Damon searches the campsite for Bonnie, he hears something, and vamps out. "Unless you're a blonde, a Bennet witch, or a doppelgänger, I suggest you steer clear. When he opens the cabin door, Rebekah comes up behind him and demands to know where the Bore is. Damon tells Rebekah that Katherine must have it and she, or someone, also killed Jeremy. Since Jeremy killed Kol, Damon pooh-poohs Rebekah's sadness, but she reminds him she's not heartless. She knows the Germ was Elena's only family. While Rebekah wants to search for Katherine, Damon insists they find Bonnie. "If there's one thing that's a guarantee in this miserable little world, it's that Katherine Pierce is gone. We need to find Bonnie. Oh, and beware of the Immortal Silas. If he was asleep in that cave, he's awake now." In high pique, Rebekah storms off after Damon. We cut to the...
Woods. Bonnie wakes and reaches for her stab wound, but "Shane" tells her not to touch it. "I used some of the island's herbs and berries to treat the wound, but not being an actual witch, I can't guarantee much." Bonnie looks down at his blood-stained pant leg and asks him how he's been healed. "Shane" reports that Silas helped him. "You did it, Bonnie. He is risen." I resist my years of religious training, and do not respond: "He is risen, indeed," because in this case, I think I'd be courting blasphemy. When Bonnie tells "Shane" to get away from her, he continues to blah about Silas and how all those lives weren't lost in vain. "Silas is going to bring them back." Bonnie warns him that bringing back the dead isn't natural. Quietly, "Shane" says, "I think you'll change your mind, now." He explains that Silas needed blood when he awoke, so he drained Jeremy. "Jeremy is dead." That's all true, but it's not quite true enough. Silas also snapped Jeremy's neck. We cut to...
Gilbert Gables. Wait. Look, I've got to take a different approach. This episode depressed the hell out of me the first time I saw it, and it's not getting any better upon re-watch. I just marked the tenth anniversary of my Dad's death. I don't know if it's that, or the weather, or if despite this season's best efforts, I still root for and feel for Elena, but I can't wallow in this episode's pain -- for my own sake, I just can't do it. I won't do it. I'm glad for the mini-hiatus to come, I tell you what.
I've seen some people criticizing "Stand By Me" for being a poor man's version of "The Body." The similarities were certainly in my mind when I quoted Anya's "fruit punch" speech in my recaplet. I know that Julie Plec is a Buffy fan, and I'm sure others on the writing staff are as well. That said, comparing TVD to BtVS is, vampires aside, not all that different than comparing apples to oranges. Sure, there are vampires and love triangles, but TVD doesn't have the heart that Buffy does, and I don't think it means to. BtVS is has a strong moral sensibility. The characters commit immoral acts all the time, but its sense of right and wrong oozes off of every frame. TVDis more nihilistic. I guess I'm only going into this for two reasons. First, I'm admittedly trying to avoid delving into the coming pain. Second, despite some fandom sentiment, I don't think "Stand By Me" in any way rips off "The Body." I'm not even sure I'd call it an homage to "The Body." It's a hat tip. The similarities are there, and are likely on purpose, but at most, the younger show is tipping its hat in the direction of its the cool, older cousin to which is has always looked up. TVD is like me in comparison to my cousin Maureen, whom none of you know, so that isn't useful, but just go with it.
Anyhow, back at Gilbert Gables, Elena strokes Jeremy's hair, while downstairs, Stefan and Caroline avoid a conversation with Elena, and choose yet again to talk about her behind her back. Stefan even turns on the water to hinder Elena's vamponic hearing.
Stefan: Elena is waiting for the Germ to wake up.
Caroline: Hello? He's way dead, Stefan.
Stefan: Elena feels more than anyone has ever felt in the history of feeling feelings. She needs to remain in denial, until we know Bonnie is safe and Damon returns and invokes the very thing you and I have been working to insure he never invokes: the sire bond.
Audience: The only thing more inconsistent than this season's use of the sire bond is the range of vamponic hearing.
Caroline: The sire bond is icky, as you and I have been ranting all season, so yes, I am fully on board with asking the guy who compelled me into being his chew toy to wield it on the girl who is my best friend and your ex-lover.
Stefan: Keen!
Elena: I'm not in denial. I know Germ got supernaturlized, but his tattoo is gone. It's possible he's just plain old natural, now.
Audience: We'd best examine Jeremy's bod one last time. Take off his shirt. Wait. Did we say that? I guess we did, but is it icky?
Recapper: Well, it's a little necrophilic, so that's a big YEAH!
Audience: We hear you, but beg to differ. We mean... it's not like McQueen is dead.
Recapper: Let's just not.
Audience: All right. Damn it.
Caroline: Excuse me, I'm trying to talk to my best friend, instead of behind her back with her ex. Now, Elena...
Elena: Look, it's hope, all right? I'm holding onto that hope for at least another 40-45 minutes of air time, before I spiral down into the depths of despair. It's in the script, Caroline. I am not in denial. I am not. I am not. I am not!
Sponsors: If you buy that, would you consider buying our goods and/or services?
Gilbert Gables. Porch. Caroline leaves a voice mail for Tyler, begging him to call her so she can tell him what has happened. When Stefan comes out, Caroline tells him about Tyler being on the run from Klaus. Stefan reminds her that our girl Kiki has managed to be on the run from Klaus for 500 years. Remember before we met Klaus, how we were sold this bag of goods about him living in secret and having eyes and ears everywhere? I miss those days. Anyhow, Stefan must have been reading the boards, because he's puzzled out that Katherine has probably grabbed the cure to bargain for her freedom.
Caroline can't believe that after 15 episodes of Season Bore, the cure is just gone. Stefan admits that he imagined Elena wouldn't forever remain a vampire, but now that she has no family... Caroline puts on her Miss Mystic Falls organizing cap and starts talking lists, a funeral and cover story. She'll get Matt over to Gilbert Gables to hang with Elena, and then enlist her mother's help in the details, and she'll make a casserole too, because our Vampire Barbie was dragged up right, and that's what you do when people die. Heading off, she stops and turns back to Stefan. "What's that smell?" Do vampires pass gas? That would be gross. Stefan denies it and blames the odor on Jeremy's fetid corpse, but we know the truth, Stefan. Talk about denial. He ignores me and tells Caroline to have Liz dispatch Dr. Meredith Fell to Gilbert Gables. We cut to...
Craphole, Down East. Rebekah and Damon make like they're in an episode of Lost and traipse across the island, talking about Bonnie and bickering about whether or not she is scared of Silas. While Rebekah is getting in a few digs about Elena, Damon hears something, so he grabs Rebekah and uses the immortal as his human vampiric shield. Poor Becky takes an arrow in the back. Damon apologizes and but then adds, "Better you than me," because he's Damon. It's Vaughn who is taking shots at them. After throwing the Beckster to the ground, Damon catches another arrow in his hand and then charges. He wrestles Vaughn to the ground, disarms him (but not in a Kol way) and knocks him out. We cut to...
Another part of the island. While Bonnie sobs, "Shane" prepares Spirit tea over his campfire and offers it to her. Bonnie refuses and casts the cup to the ground. As she grieves for Jeremy, her powers start to spin out of control, but "Shane" grabs her and calms her down by promising she's going to see Jeremy again. We cut to...
Gilbert Gables. Elena grabs her journal and returns to Jeremy's room, where she finds Meredith. As the doctor checks Jeremy's condition, Elena babbles about how once, when Alaric was dead, he was gone for nearly a day. She starts to worry that they'll have to be on guard against Jeremy turning into a Psycho Killer. Meredith's face is full of pity as she listens. Stefan is lurking somewhere, watching his ex feel all the feelings more feelingly than anyone has ever before felt feelings. Finally, Meredith discusses Jeremy's condition. Jeremy died of extreme blood loss and a broken neck. His muscles have tightened past rigor mortis. If left unattended, his body will start to bloat.
Steven R. McQueen: Oh hell, no. I've worked hard on that body. Don't let me bloat, Elena.
Elena: Stop! He's not dead.
Meredith: Release the body to me. I'll get him to a funeral home and have him prepared for viewing.
Elena (vamping out): What part of not dead do you fail to understand? You used vampire blood to save my life. There is no science here. There is MAGIC! Also, I'm not in denial.
Matt arrives and makes everything better for a second, but then he looks at the bed, sees dead Jeremy and starts to cry. Elena goes to Matt to comfort him. She promises that when Bonnie arrives, everything will be fine. We go to commercial so I can cry.
Downstairs, Matt brings Elena some tea. In her most lighthearted moment of the episode, she asks if he's drugging her. Matt smiles. "Poison your best friend once and suspicion follows you forever." When Elena explains that Damon stayed back on Craphole Down East to find Bonnie, Matt finds this strange.
Matt: Doesn't he hate her?
Elena: He doesn't hate her. I think he actually kind of loves her. You're mean to the people that you care about.
Recapper: Oh please, Show. If you want us to buy that, you really should have seeded it in this season. It's not that I can't believe Damon would be a jerk to someone he actually liked or admired, but Damon has always been as anxious to sacrifice Bonnie as Elena has been to save her. Have a little respect for your own canon. If you want to reveal something like this, simply telling doesn't cut the mustard.
Matt: That's some messed up logic.
Recapper: I know, right?
Matt: No, I was talking about being mean to the people you care about.
Elena: Damon logic.
Recapper: Oh, whatever.
Matt: I want you to go somewhere with me.
Recapper: Will it involve wrapping you in a blanket and feeding you warm, chocolate pudding?
Matt: I was talking to Elena.
Recapper: Within a half an hour or so, you'll be sorry you didn't take me up on the blanket and pudding, Pudding Pop.
Matt: Look, I have to be strong now, and maintain perspective, so that it will hurt you even more when I eventually break down.
Elena: Whatever, you two. I can't leave Jeremy.
Matt: Stefan can stay here with him. Come with me, please.
Recapper: Elena, pack a bag, get in Pudding Pop's truck, drive away from this miserable town, and never, ever look back.
Meanwhile, back on the island, Damon has tied up Vaughn and is torturing him for information on his "...vixen nemesis, Katherine Pierce." He figures Vaughn must be working for her. After Rebekah digs the arrow out of her spine, she whines about it, then joins the fun.
Vaughn: Torture me all you want. You can't kill me or I'll haunt you forever.
Rebekah: Correct, but we can tear you apart, piece by piece, then heal you, then do it again and again and again.
Damon: You are creepy.
Rebekah: Thank you.
Vaughn: I didn't say I wouldn't talk. I was just trying to be hospitable. Since you'd rather not torture me, let me tell you what I know. When I was hunting in Colorado, Katherine found me and said she could help me find Silas. She knew about the mark and the cure, because she had someone on the inside -- a werewolf who's friends with your professor.
Damon: Haley.
Recapper: Damn. I thought we were done with her.
Vaughn: Kiki found Haley in New Orleans. That's all I know.
Damon: Great. We can set up the backdoor pilot to the Originals and get these freaks out of town. (Turns to Rebekah) No offense.
Rebekah: None taken, now that I've finally been announced as being part of the cast. Now to find the cure.
Damon: No. Bonnie.
Rebekah: You never wanted Elena to be human, anyway.
Damon: I wanted it for her because she wants it. You think I'm afraid to go back, but I'm not. I just know what she needs. She needs me to bring her best friend home. Now I'm going to find Bonnie.
Rebekah: And I'm going to smile my creepiest smile and grab Vaughn
Meanwhile, "Shane" is still babbling to Bonnie about how she's going to use Expression to help Silas raise the dead. Silas was a witch, but once he became immortal -- the original Original vampire, he lost his power.
Audience: If Silas isn't magic, how is he causing all those visions of Grams, Caitlyn, etc.?
Recapper: You know how vampires can compel people and get into and control their dreams, and how Originals can even compel vampires, etc.? I think it's like that. You give Silas's desiccated corpse just a little blood, and it's enough for him to use vamp mind whammies. But don't quote me.
Audience: As if.
Bonnie: How am I going to do this?
"Shane": Using the power of three...
Demian's Soul Spirit: Arrrrrrrrrrgh! Get thee behind me, Satan. The abomination is CANCELLED!
"Shane": Not that power of three. God. The power of three massacres.
Raoul's Soul Spirit (ecstatic): VIOLENCE! WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT VIOLENCE AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!
"Shane": I bet they'd drink my Spirit Tea. Anyhow, yeah, if you slaughter a dozen victims, the earth is marked with power. You can Express that power.
Bonnie: You've had 36 people killed?
"Shane": What do you take me for -- a monster and a psychopath? No, I've only had 24 killed. A dozen humans at Pastor Cliche's ranch. A dozen hybrids thanks to Klaus. You and I are going to complete the triangle, but it's totally okay because they'll come back. It's worth it.
Bonnie: I'm not helping you kill 12 people, Shane.
Kol's Ghost: I just killed a bunch of baby vamps at Club Zanadew. Didn't make note of the count.
"Shane": Wouldn't you, if it meant seeing Jeremy, again? Your Grams. All those you've lost. I think you would.
Kol's Ghost: Hey, why aren't they listening to me?
Recapper: Get used to it.
Bonnie: I'm outta here. Oh crap. I tripped. I tripped over Jeremy's dying form.
"Jeremy": It hurts.
Bonnie: CPR cures a broken neck and extreme blood loss in a person who is still able to breathe and talk, right?
Audience: We're learning to ignore these things.
Wind: *Whips Up*
"Jeremy": *Disappears*
Bonnie: Huh? No.
"Shane": Reappears. He asked you to help, didn't he. He needs your help. You can do this, Bonnie. You're just crazy enough.
Bonnie: Yes, master.
Back at Gilbert Gables, Meredith turns up the AC to slow down Jeremy's decay. Stefan mopes about death. Meredith joins in. I just like this scene because these two are very pretty and married in real life. I think they're talking about depressing stuff like loss and denial, so I ignore them 'til Damon calls. Stefan updates him on how Elena's losing it. Damon confesses that he can't find Bonnie. Stefan says he'll have to leave and get home, so he can use the sire bond to keep Elena together. They can find Bonnie later. After all, she's only a tool to them -- yes, even to Stefan, who acts like he likes her. After Damon rings off, Bonnie emerges from the woods. Since this script has decided Damon loves Bonnie, he hugs her. Or he hugs what is left of her. Bonnie's lights are on, but she's not home. She starts talking about how Shane led the way and know she knows how to bring back the Germ.
Sponsors: While you're gullible, give us a couple of minutes.
This episode is really getting to me. Matt brings Elena to the Stoner Pit at school, where both Vicki and Jeremy have left their marks. When he shows Elena Vicki's mark, they reminisce about how Jeremy was so into Vicki after the Gilbert parents died. Matt is all choked up as he tells Elena that he found Vicki's tag after she died. "It made me smile." Oh honey, that offer of a blanket and some warm pudding still stands. Matt shows Elena a little heart with a J + V in it. Jeremy wrote that. His voice still thick with emotion, Matt talks about the denial he went through when Vicki's body was found. "There was no possible way she could be gone forever, and then she wasn't." His point is that sometimes in their crazy town, you can't accept someone is gone because they're not completely gone. He tells her it is okay to hope, "...because sometimes that's all that keeps me going." In order to not cry, I'm just going to point out that this seems contrary to his Snap Elena Out of It mission, but Matt has been living with this loss for however much time has elapsed on this crazy show. I think my Poor Pudding Pop can't bear to burst his best girl's bubble. Stefan calls Elena just then and reports that Damon found Bonnie. Their plane is waiting for them. They'll be home in a few hours. Then he tells Elena she might be right. There might be something Bonnie can do. They'll have to see what Bonnie says when she gets home.
Rebekah has Vaughn in the cave, now. He's still tied up. He encourages her to use the Bore to kill Silas, but Rebekah's not interested in that. As she starts to leave, Vaughn cautions her because Silas is running around up above. When he tells Rebekah to look in his pack, she finds Silas's death mask. Vaughn tells her no one has seen Silas's face. "How do you hide from the devil when you don't know what he looks like? Who knows? Maybe I'm him. Mark my words. If you don't use the cure to kill him, it doesn't matter if you're human or vampire. You are doomed. We all are." Rebekah drops the mask and Stealth-Salvatores out of the cave. Vaughn calls after her, "Good luck to ya, lass. You've all brought this upon yourselves. May you rot in it! Ha ha ha."
Back in Mystic Falls, as she returns to Gilbert Gables, Caroline leaves another voice mail for Tyler. When she finishes, Damon and Bonnie arrive. While Caroline takes Bonnie in her arms, Damon asks where Stefan is. When Caroline mentions she heard that Bonnie knows what to do, Damon turns his eye-thing dial up to CRAZY and says, "I need to talk to my brother." When she asks what's wrong, he makes the slightest gesture toward Bonnie and we flash back to...
Craphole Down East. Woods. Bonnie, still on her knees, tells "Shane" she will do whatever it takes. "Whatever you ask of me, I'll do it." "Shane" promises she'll see Jeremy, again. There are just a few things they need to do, first. We flash forward to the...
Gilbert Gables Kitchen. Bonnie babbles about completing an Expression triangle for Silas. I hate this season's mythology, so I'm trying to keep this to the bare bones. When Matt's all, "WHAT?" we cut...
Outside. Damon tells Stefan that Bonnie is out of her magic gourd. "The Nutty Professor has her totally brainwashed." Back inside, the convoluted crazy continues, unabated.
Matt: You can't kill 12 people.
Bonnie: No, it's totally okay. Let me show you my flashback.
Flashback "Shane": When Silas was buried by Q, she left him with the cure and two choices -- stay immortal and rot, or take the cure and eventually die in there of old age.
Flashback Bonnie: Silas has been trapped there for 2000 years. Wouldn't death by old age have been better?
Flashback "Shane": No. Q had one-upped him. She knew he wanted to die to find peace and be reunited for his true love, so she created The Other Side -- a purgatory for supernaturals. If he died, he'd end up there, forever. That's where you come in.
Recapper: I hope you're not talking to me, because I can't make my brain follow this nonsense.
Bonnie: Why me?
Flashback "Shane": As Q's descendent, you can make The Other Side go away.
Back in Mystic Falls, Damon tells Stefan that all the way home, all Bonnie could talk about was dropping the veil between this side and The Other Side. Every once dead supernatural will be freed.
In the Gilbert Gables Kitchen, Bonnie confirms this. Once the veil is dropped, there will be nothing separating them from everyone on The Other Side.
Outside, Damon says, "Three massacres. Three hotspots. And the witch spell of the century, and every supernatural being over there is back with a vengeance." Here, Stefan let me show you the flashback to...
Craphole Down East. Bonnie insists she can't do this, but "Shane" takes her hands and uses Jeremy, Grams and centuries of persecuted witches to manipulate her. We flash forward to the...
Gilbert Gables Kitchen.
Caroline: Bonnie, you're talking like a crazy person. You're not killing 12 people to return every dead monster to this world.
Matt: Caroline, I think she knows that.
Recapper: No, Matt, just listen.
Bonnie: I can do it. I have the power. We can bring everyone back -- Jeremy, Alaric, Vicki.
We hear the rest of the conversation from Elena's perspective, which we can tell because the audio gets muddy as soon as Bonnie starts naming the dearly departed.
Muddy Caroline: Bonnie stop it! Bonnie stop it. You can just say these things.
Music: Zeezaw zeezaw zeezaw...
Muddy Caroline: Blah blah blah
Telephone: Ring!
Although Matt offers, Elena rises and answers the landline. It's April, looking for Jeremy. He's not answering his cell phone, so April is hoping he's at home. As the young girl babbles, Damon and Stefan enter the kitchen. Elena says, "Jeremy can't come to the phone, right now. He's not... I'm sorry. He's dead." Elena's acknowledgment that Jeremy is dead is good in the sense that it's healthy. It's bad though, because she told April, who is bound to be a complication, at least unless she's drafted into the Fellowship of the Falls, and even then... Elena hasn't read what's coming up yet, so she hangs up and walks out. Damon looks around at the other players. Caroline watches Bonnie with alarm. Bonnie puts on her crazy eyes. An M&M commercial gives me a blessed breather.
After the break, Elena goes to Jeremy's room. Stopping in the doorway, she stares at him. As her eyes fill with tears and her lips tremble, Elena slowly walks toward her brother. His face is covered with a blanket so she uncovers it to take a last look. Really knowing him to be dead for the first time takes the wind out of her. She shrinks back and starts to cry. Damon enters the room and speaks her name. Elena then has a beautiful scene in which she repeats that Jeremy is dead. I can't give it all to you. It's too much. Watch the episode. She even realizes she can smell the decay. Don't worry, Elena. I think that's just Stefan. Did have chili on the flight home? When she ignores me, Damon tells Elena to talk to him, he can help her, but Elena wonders how. She tells him they need to take care of Jeremy's body and asks Damon to bring him downstairs.
When Elena arrives downstairs, Stefan tells her Matt is taking Bonnie Beserker home. They figured it would be for the best. Elena tells Damon to put the body on the couch, and then takes out a container of lighter fluid. She dumps it on her journal, or Jeremy's. I've lost track. She then pours it all over the room and all over her brother, his sketches, his X-box and Alaric's bourbon. When the gang tries to talk her down, she reminds them that earlier, they were talking about needing a cover story. She doesn't need this anymore -- she needs nothing of her past that reminds her of her dearly departed. "...Unless you guys are willing to bring back every supernatural creature on the other side, to get them back. Would you?" She turns to her current boyfriend. "I mean, I know you want your drinking buddy back. Would you, Damon, because I wouldn't? I don't know. I mean, does that make me a bad person? I have no idea." She yanks Jeremy's Protect-o Ring off his finger and flips it over to Damon, saying Germ won't need it anymore. Caroline screams at Elena to stop it. Out of lighter fluid, Elena's pouring booze around the joint now, too.
Elena says, "What else are we supposed to do with the body, Caroline? There's no room in the Gilbert family plot. Jenna and John took the last spots." When Stefan tries to calm her, Elena lights a match. "There's nothing here for me anymore, Stefan. Every inch of this house is filled with memories of the people I love, who have died: my mom, my dad, Jeremy, and then Jenna, Alaric, John -- even John. I mean they're all dead. Everyone is dead. What am I supposed to... I mean, how am I gonna... I can't even. There's nothing left for me." At that last, the match burns her fingers. She drops it, but Damon deftly catches it and snuffs it out before the whole place ignites.
Damon, maybe in an attempt to prove, yet again, that the power of the sire bond is a fickle fiend, if, indeed, it exists, says, "Elena, I need you to calm down." Dropping to her knees, Elena sobs uncontrollably as she says she can't. "No. It hurts. It hurts. Make it stop. Please make it stop. It hurts." Stefan, knowing their girlfriend is feeling all the feelings with more feeling than feelings have ever been felt says, "Damon, help her."
Damon watches for a moment, then drops to Elena's side. Taking her in his arms, he says, "I want you to let me help you." Finally, Elena asks him, "How?" Smoothing her hair back, Damon says, "Turn it off."
Stefan: No, no, no!
Audience: No, no, no!
Recapper: Well, he already tried to invoke the sire bond when he said "I need you to calm down," but it didn't work. I'm not sure what Stefan thinks he can do here, except go nuclear. I don't like it. I would have preferred for Elena to choose this option on her own, but Stefan has been harping on Damon using the sire bond to help her, ever since he and Elena got back to town -- even while Damon was still traipsing all over Craphole Down East.
Damon (to Elena): Just turn it off and everything will go away. It's what you have to do. It's what I want you to do. Just turn it off.
The pain falls from Elena's face. Instead, her expression is numb. Her eyes are dead. She sits in silence on the floor. Damon looks up to Caroline and Stefan. We can tell even by their backs that they're judging the hell out of him. Meanwhile, I'm judging all three of them. It's time for everyone to stop treating Elena like she's helpless. She seldom is helpless, but they all act like she is. She's their holy grail or their golden fleece. She's the Precious. She's the delicate hothouse flower in their minds. I know I'm kind of contradicting myself where Damon is concerned. I only stuck up for him, as far as Stefan's expectations go. Stefan expects Damon to do something. Damon tries a kinder, gentler sire bond invocation, but it is not strong enough to cut through Elena's love for Jeremy and for all she has lost. Damon's choices were either go nuclear or do nothing. I'm for the do-nothing approach. Elena just lost the last living member of her family. She needs to lose control and weep. She needs to grieve for longer than two minutes. She should have been being hugged, a lot, and by everyone. Except for Matt (and Elena took the initiative there), everyone keeps her at arm's length until Damon kneels down and hugs her. I don't care if it would have been awkward for Stefan, he should have been hugging her, ditto Caroline, and Damon -- as soon as he got there. I'll cut Bonnie the slack I save for the truly delusional. The rest of them have sucked this episode and they've sucked hard. Commercial.
After the break, Caroline is at home at Fortress Forbes, leaving yet another voice mail for Tyler instead of comforting her grieving friend or helping her numb friend. I know you miss your boyfriend, Caroline, but come on. In the message, she says that Jeremy is dead and she needs to talk to him. She needs him. Yesterday can't be the last day they'll ever see or talk to each other. "Call me, Tyler. Please." She lies down on her bed. I think I'm supposed to feel sorry for her. Not this time, Care Bear.
Matt drives Bonnie home. Since she's high atop Mount Maniac, she assures him it will be okay. I agree with critical fans who say Bonnie shouldn't be left alone right now. I agree. That said, I don't think Matt is equipped to deal with her lunacy. She needs a supernatural being with her. Matt just pats the crazy and tells her they'll talk tomorrow. He drives off before she gets in the house, which seems very un-Matt-like, to me, particularly since she is still laden down with her Cure Quest luggage. Contrivance Fairy: "Well, I have to give 'Shane' an opportunity to confront her, don't I?" As you wish, Contrivance Fairy. As you wish.
"Shane": Did you tell them?
Bonnie: I did, but they're treating me like I'm batshit insane now, probably on account of how I'm batshit insane now.
"Shane": Your friends are just afraid to believe.
Bonnie: I've been thinking...
Audience: We can only hope.
Bonnie: ...If I drop the veil, the supes will return, but what about the 12 people who died on Pastor Cliche's ranch?
"Shane": Would you accept collateral damage? They've found peace. That's all anyone wants, including Silas. We'll do this together. We are the beginning.
Meanwhile, Rebekah is still wandering Craphole Down East, alone. When she trips over a body, she rolls it over and sees that it is Shane. As she starts to walk away, he grabs her leg. The startled Rebekah turns back toward him. Shane stretches out his hand and says, "Silas."
Back in Mystic Falls, Matt pulls his truck over, puts it into park and weeps. This is some down and dirty ugly crying. I'm not going to dwell on it or all his pain because I have to make him pudding.
Gilbert Gables. Elena picks up the same framed pictures she was looking at during the early moments of the episode. I guess we've come full circle. Outside, Stefan berates Damon's "Shut it off," command as a mistake. Damon: "It wasn't and you know it. It's the only way she's going to survive. We'll help her -- keep an eye on her. When she's ready, I'll use the sire bond to bring her back."
Recapper: That makes me wonder if shutting "it" off will somehow weaken (or, arguably, further weaken) the sire bond. After all, the sire bond happens when a human is in love with a vampire, and that vampire turns her. In shutting off her humanity, has Damon shut off the part of Elena that is "sired" to him?
Stefan blathers about how Elena's humanity was all she had left. What does that even mean? Damon says, "Humanity means nothing when don't have anyone to care about, Stefan."
Stefan: She had you.
Damon: She lost her brother. I'm not enough -- not this time.
Stefan: Listen Damon, I know that you and I -- we've been through some bad spots lately -- especially when it comes to her.
Damon: Yeah, well, guess none of that matters anymore.
Stefan: Can we kiss and make up?
Damon: Only in fanfic. In the script, all we're left with is half finished sentences, shoulder pats and meaningful glances.
Fic Writers: We'll fix that.
Back inside Elena wanders past Dead Jeremy and through Gilbert Gables for what I know will be the last time, even before she picks up a match and lights it. The boys enter then. Damon asks Elena not to do this. They can find another cover story. Elena says this is the best one, because no one will ask questions.
Stefan: If you burn down the house, it'll be gone. What if one day, when this is all over, you want to go home again.
Thomas Wolfe: You can't do that. I wrote a whole book about it, and everything.
Recapper: Tom, these kids can't even make it to school, never mind do independent reading. Save your undead breath.
Elena says she won't want to come home again and drops the match. She, Damon and Stefan walk out the door, without so much as a photograph or a few outfits. We cut back inside and watch Jeremy burn up. I guess Elena's not watching Supernatural, or she would have salted his corpse, first. The fire effects are chilling. We travel from Jeremy to his sketches, to his sneaker, to the kitchen, to whoever's journal that was, then fade to black.
Before I close, I need to make a few remarks. I know this recap has been different, but I just can't let myself fully engage with the sorrow in this episode. Similarly, I seem incapable of caring about the mythology, which has grown so convoluted. I guess that even though Silas is no longer a witch, he can use vampiric mind control to appear to Bonnie in Shane's form, and Jeremy's form, and probably any form he wants. It's a bit like Buffy's First Evil, but at least the First Evil was limited to appearing as dead people. Once again, a villain is so powerful that I can't take him seriously. That is assuming Silas is a villain. He certainly can't be a good guy, but I don't know what to make of him and having him wear Shane's face clouds it all for me, even further. If the gang can't get the cure and shove it down his throat, then maybe Rebekah can give the Son Of White Oak Stake a shot.
I found the travel from an island off Nova Scotia to Virginia so unbelievable that it took me out of the episode. I guess we're supposed to assume Rebekah chartered private planes or one plane that kept returning, or something, but seeing as Stefan and Elena came home together, and Bonnie and Damon came home later, I keep wondering how many planes Becky has waiting. I can't imagine she stranded herself on that island, when she wants to get to New Orleans and find Katherine and the cure. I don't want the story bogged down by logistics, but I'd like it to make enough sense that I don't spend an hour wondering about things that don't even matter.
Nina Dobrev does stunning work in this episode. I could go on for pages, but no one wants to read that, so I'll leave it at this: brava! Goodbye Jeremy. I hope we see you in one form or another. Goodbye Gilbert Gables. I think I'll miss you most of all.
I'll be back after March 14th's "Bring It On," assuming I'm not institutionalized between now and then. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're wrapping Matt in a blanket and feeding him warm, chocolate pudding.