Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Gotta Have Faith
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 02.01.2011
Erica decides to go back to her day job (sadly, not IRL) and once in the office she beelines for her boss to complain about getting a new partner. Erica is a close talker to begin with, but when she leans in for a quiet moment with her boss, she gets so close she is practically sharing an indoor-outdoor carpet panel with the guy. He doesn't shrink away though, which is the finest bit of acting this show has seen in quite a while and tells her to just go meet her damn partner. Erica sighs and wanders off to meet the new agent. It turns out to be her old academy buddy, Chris Bolling, played by Jay Karnes who was also played creepy Andy Kohn on Sons of Anarchy and creepy Manboobs on Brothers and Sisters and creepy Tyler Brennen on Burn Notice. Quite the niche you've carved out for yourself, Mr. Karnes. Erica is pleasantly surprised, but perhaps just a smidge sad because, well, you know what happened to her last two partners. For his first grand act as Erica's ill-fated partner, Bolling points out that a certain Father Jack Landry appears to be at the heart of a lot of the anti-V rhetoric and maybe they should go pay him a visit. Erica does her patented gulp and wide-eyed nod.
Chad Decker is reporting on the increased violence against the Visitors and the perhaps surprising support for anti-V speech by religious figures. He namechecks some cardinal who is going to decide the matter for the Catholic church as we cut to Anna up in space watching Chad on air. She wants to help the cardinal make his decision... and she is taking Chad with her. Nothing like a mealymouthed Benedict Arnold with a $400 haircut to impress the Catholic Church! Anna swings by the television station in her pink (not really) space ship and takes Chad out on a surprise date, destination unknown. It's like the Space Bachelor, but far less awesome. Anna lands her shuttle in St. Peter's Square in Vatican City and as the door to the shuttle opens everyone cheers. Because she didn't squish them, probably. Chad is suddenly reporting live from the Vatican as Anna makes nicey nice with the College of Cardinals. I guess they all cleared their schedules for her? Chad explains that Anna wants to learn more about the world's religions before she squashes them like cockroaches under her foot.
Speaking of Catholics, Father Jack has been getting mouthy on the pulpit again. In an effort to... er, network, he was so mouthy he managed to raise an eyebrow or two among the elite terrorist group that comes to Sunday services. As the congregation exits the sanctuary (can that word be said without a Quasimodo accent?) a congregant gives the priest the old nudge nudge wink wink and a terrorist connection has been made.
Agent Erica's new partner wants to interview Father Jack Right. Now. so Erica drives which I guess proves that she wears the pants, has the balls, and knows the city. Bolling tries to make light of the fact that both of Erica's partners have disappeared, but he sounds like the soon-to-be victim making light of the fact that he is spending the night in a haunted house on a dare and isn't scared but actually is wearing adult diapers in preparation for the impending fear fest. Erica replies something vague about Mets fans and he fake chuckles as his eyes widen in fear. Then they pull up at the church and Erica explains that they put Father Jack through the old FBI wringer a few weeks ago and she thinks he just has a loud mouth. Inside the church, Jack is not ready for company. He is busy looking at a little present that the Fifth Column left him. It's a head in a box (which I can't help imagining Andy Samberg singing). Specifically, it is a skinned Visitor's head in a box along with a prize inside: a lightly blood spattered CD. Gosh, aren't heads in a box the WORST? I mean, say it with flowers, guys. Or perhaps an Edible Arrangement?
Just then Erica and Bolling show up and Father Jack tries to wipe the Hey Show: Gross look off his face and fails. So while the FBI grills him about his involvement with the Fifth Column and digs around for any information on the Peace Ambassador murders, Father Jack just looks all kinds of guilty. Then Bolling asks him about Eli Cohen and in my head Father Jack is all, "Isn't he Jewish? Why would he be listening to a Catholic priest?" In reality he just shrugs that he's never heard of the guy. Since Father Jack isn't exactly forthcoming, the FBI agents give up. Erica pretends that Jack was obviously telling the truth and they don't need to bug a member of the cloth anymore, but Bolling is like, "Girl? You crazy."
Speaking of the clergy, Anna is making nice with the Cardinals and they are pretending that alien life is not contrary to their entire belief system. Actually, I am not totally sure that is true, but since the Catholic Church generally hasn't been too wild about competing belief systems, I'm pretty sure they would find some issue with aliens who think they're people. Anna tells the Cardinal that she thinks Catholicism is the right religion for the entire Visitor population and the Cardinal is, like, super excited to be able to have a lot of baptisms and space masses. Then Anna needs to talk about her big but: She can't recommend the Catholic faith unless the Cardinals order their priests to stop publicly condemning the Visitors. Father Jack, this one's for you! The Cardinal looks uncomfortable at this ultimatum and is weighing the greeting he would get at St. Peter's Gate for saving the souls of aliens versus allowing his priests some leeway in what they believe (within the strictures of the scriptures naturally). Um, Cardinal, you may want to know that Anna doesn't have a soul and plans on removing the souls of others and crushing them underneath the heel of her stiletto like the heroine in a crush fetish film or Tura Santana (R.I.P.). Anyway, obviously the Cardinal has to take it to Jesus and pray on it and stuff, so Anna smiles coldly and eyes up another Cardinal who is cockblocking her diplomatic plays. Later she tells No.2 that she recognizes the Cardinal's ring from her childhood and wants No. 2 to find out everything about him. Chad looks on trying to figure out what the heck he is watching and whether or not he should be reporting any of this to anyone.
Father Jack plays the DVD for the Fab Four. It's a message from Eli Cohen. He is super glad that Jack finally reached out and wants to meet that evening in a vacant lot, no cops. Yeah, that sounds legit. And why was that head in a box again? As a present? Or a test? Like, if Father Jack could overcome his distaste and compose a really nice thank you note that he would hand deliver at midnight in a vacant lot only then would Cohen allow him on the team? Everyone agrees that since Cohen kills innocents, he must be stopped. Then Erica notices Chad on the teevee talking about Anna's union with the Catholics and for some reason that changes everything. I guess the concern is that a billion Catholics would suddenly be on Anna's side and fight the Fifth Column? Whatever the questionable logic is, suddenly everyone thinks Jack should go to the meeting and take an untraceable tracking device and they will follow him and talk to Cohen and sing that song from The Parent Trap about getting together.
Back at the Vatican, Anna is just loitering when she spies the Cardinal whose ring she recognized and goads him into a conversation about the soul. She is not especially thrilled when she finds out that Catholics consider the soul to be immortal. How can she crush it if it can live forever? Anna looks contemplative-ish (let's be honest, Anna never looks overwhelmed with an