Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Gotta Have Faith
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 02.01.2011
Back at the Vatican, Chad Decker finds the priest before he heads off on his mission to mars. The priest knows who Chad is and he knows that Chad is pretending to be super BFF with Anna and the Visitors, but he also saw that Chad was extremely uncomfortable with Anna's behavior in front of the Cardinals. Chad realizes that something is up and the priest confirms that he is not so much a volunteer as a sacrifice. The priest doesn't tell him any more, but does strongly recommend that Chad trust his instincts and his feelings about Anna and to keep up his fight. He hands Chad his ring and grimly heads into the space shuttle with Anna.
Up on the Mothership, Anna has strapped the wayward priest into the memory chamber and he has had his memories uploaded to the giant Flickr account in the sky. She kicks No. 2 and the doctor out of the room and confronts the priest. She wants to know why he didn't identify himself to her upon her arrival at the Vatican. He coldly tells her that he was instructed to only give his report to HIS queen. Anna stares at him for a moment and then tells him that her mother is in hell with the other damned souls. See? She did learn something from her trip to the Vatican. She also picked up one of those Popeners (you know, Pope bottle openers) and some Pontiff nail clippers for Christmas stocking stuffers. The priest is unmoved. Speaking of unmoved, I bet the thing that Morena Baccarin likes best about this role (aside from the paycheck, natch) is that as Anna is an emotionless two-by-four (I mean, seriously, I've met mackerel with broader emotional range), Morena never ever needs to worry about getting wrinkles. She hasn't had to crease her brow more than once during this show's duration. That's a silver lining for an actress now isn't it? God, I miss Firefly.
Speaking of wood acting, Erica and Eli Cohen are trying to come up with a mutually beneficial arrangement. You see, they are on the same side, but Erica needs a fall guy for both Malik's murder as well as the killings of the Peace Ambassadors. Luckily for everyone, Eli Cohen has a group of crazy people working for him who have no problem sacrificing themselves for the cause. He will just pick two lucky guys who will offer themselves up for prosecution by the FBI. That way Erica and Eli both have their little problems solved and they are free to collude in the future. You can solve problems so easily when you work together. TMYK.
Anna brings the priest to "his" queen, but she does it with a chip on her shoulder. Diana is happy for the company and is even happier once she sees who it is. The priest thought Diana was dead and is so happy to see her alive that when Anna orders him to tell them everything he knows about the soul, and Diana nods, the priest delivers his report. The soul is truly unique, not a curse, but the greatest gift a species has ever found. He recommends that they embrace it. Diana nods that all those years she has been held captive by her evil daughter she never gave up hope. The priest tells her it was the soul that sustained her. Anna claps her hands in glee at all these facts. Not really. The priest has no plans to deliver any more information to Anna. Instead he just nods at Diana who then eats his neck. Anna can NOT believe her mother. This is totally worse than that time Diana made out with her prom date while she was in the bathroom trying to cover up her pimple. Diana shrugs, she just gave a loyal servant the honorable death he deserved. (Note to self: Do nothing honorable.) Diana agrees with the dearly departed priest: The soul is not a curse, it is a blessing, and they must not deny their species this gift. Anna glares at her mother and points out that she just killed her only ally. Diana looks down in the dumps as Anna leaves her alone to think long and hard about what she's done.
Back at Fab Four HQ, Father Jack is really displeased that they are teaming up with Eli Cohen. Everyone else points out that they don't really have a choice in the matter. Father Jack returns to his parish disheartened, only to see something even more disheartening: His trashed office with the V logo emblazoned on the wall. Who would commit such heinous crimes against the church? Father Travis has the answer: It's Jack's fault. Not those pesky kids, but Father Jack. Naturally. Unnaturally, I still think there is NO WAY a man of that age is named Travis. I mean, there is NO WAY.
Back at FBI HQ, Erica thanks her partner, nay her friend, for covering for her while she spent some quality time with "Tyler." Bolling shrugs in his trademark (pending) creepy way and reminds her that they are, indeed, friends and she can trust him. Don't trust him, Erica. Just, no. Erica then reports that with his plan to look at the big picture with a wide angle lens she realized 1. Pantsuits aren't actually that flattering and 2. That the number she found on a back of a receipt in the warehouse raid is a code. She ran it through a substitution cipher (sure you did, honey) and figured out it was a license plate number for a blue van. Bolling nods, because several witnesses saw a blue van leaving the Peace Ambasssador murder scene. Erica tells him the address on file with the DMV is a small cabin in the woods upstate. So she heads off on her second trip upstate that day. No wonder Tyler feels ignored and is acting out.
The FBI raids the cabin just as we see Kyle and Ryan making a run for it. Erica and Bolling and some extras raid the cabin and find two scapegoats chewing up the curtains and mawwwwwwing. In the bathroom is a (well, another) grisly scene: a bathtub filled with blood splatter and chunky bits? Like SpaghettiOs with meat. Thanks for that image, show! Bolling finds Malik's badge on the toilet seat as if her last moments on earth were spent on the can. He calls Erica in to bid farewell to the remains of her partner. Erica does her usual wide-eyed nod thing. Maybe this time it means she is in shock? Oh who are we kidding. It just means it's high time someone bough Elizabeth Mitchell a refresher course at the Stella Adler studio. Maybe there's a Groupon and we can all pitch in.
Up on the Mothership, Ryan slaps Malik's skin mask (hey show: gross) on Anna's desk. He explains (read: lies) that he couldn't save Malik, but he knows that her cover never broke and her mission remains secret. Anna nods almost solemnly, but I'm probably projecting out of desperation for somebody (anybody!) to start actually acting. No luck. Did you ever take drama classes and have to play a game where people do and say all sorts of crazy things and your job is to not react but to very calmly respond appropriately? Well whether you have played or not, what you see in the next scene is an example of that game perfectly played: Ryan tells Anna to bliss his daughter. Nothing. She says no. He makes no facial expression as he reminds her that she promised. She very stonily tells him that she wants more from him. He needs to befriend Eli Cohen and then destroy the Fifth Column. She holds up Malik's head sack thing (hey show: gross) for emphasis on the destroy-them-all part. Ryan looks away, stone cold. Well done guys! Well, that's the bell. See you next week when we cover "emoting".
Erica swings by the church instead of, say, heading home to see her son. Father Jack is pitifully trying to scrub the giant V off the wall when Erica wanders in. Jack hands her Tyler's phone and she watches the video on it. She breaks down when she sees how her decision CHOICE to work and bring in a paycheck have caused her child to act out and desecrate a church. Clearly this is all her fault. She reassesses her life choices and apologizes to Jack and to God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Ghost for her son's behavior. As she cries, Father Jack holds her hand and then her head and as she asks for help, he promises to always be there for her. I think they are having a moment, guys! I think they are. Good thing Father Jack will totally be getting kicked out of the clergy soon for speaking his mind so that he and Erica can creep on each