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Erica, Kyle and Father Jack have the Vs' hired human assassin in custody, but he isn't much use to them, since he doesn't have the stolen list of the other Fifth Column members. Plus, he claims that the Visitors threatened his family if he didn't help them. Kyle has a few medieval ideas to get more answers out of him. But Erica goes to talk to his wife and finds out that the assassin's daughter was saved by the Visitors, and he would do anything to help them. Yes, that extends to killing innocent people. Erica finds the missing hard drive at the assassin's house and finally gets the address they are looking for. The torture might be a bit much for our beloved priest, though.
Up on the Mothership, Anna is pretty sure that the human-Visitor baby will be the end of the Visitor way of life. If a Visitor is born with human emotions, the Fifth Column could breed an army of hybrids to fight the Visitors. When the normal V retrieval team fails, she sets loose a Hot Tub Soldier to bring Ryan and Val and Ryan Jr. back to the ship.
Anna also accelerates the plans for the humans involved in the Live Aboard Program. We still don't know what that means, exactly, but it can't possibly be good. Tyler has been given an invitation, and he happily accepts, except for a niggling concern that his mom might be a tetch unhappy. Anna assigns Lisa the task of convincing Erica that the Live Aboard Program would be just like sleep-away camp but without the pesky mosquitoes and lousy grub. But when Lisa goes to talk to Erica, Erica cries Real Person Tears and Lisa's new feelings interfere with her mission and she ends up telling Tyler that he shouldn't join the program. This ticks Tyler off to no end and he blames his mother, obvi. What he doesn't know is that Anna wants to kill him when she's done with him and Lisa isn't too keen on that. But sure, Tyler, blame your mom. She's used to it!
Chad Decker is finally getting that Aneurysm of the Future taken care of, and, taking a page out of Katie Couric's Book of Journalism, he feels it is his duty to do it on camera. Anna sits by his bedside to make sure he doesn't wake up alone and this one act of manufactured kindness convinces Chad to help Anna spread the word about the evil of the Fifth Column. So who does he go to for answers? Father Jack.
On the lam, Ryan finally tells Val his secret and the only reason she still wants to be with him is for the sake of the baby. And she's going to need Ryan's help, since the entire Visitor army is after her. Dr. Pearlman joins up with Ryan to offer Val some on-the-run prenatal care, because that baby is MAGIC. Ryan takes Val to some old friends who ran the Fifth Column Underground Railroad back in the day. But Anna's soldier knows where they live and stakes out the house. He attacks and quickly takes out Ryan's friends. Ryan barely manages to get Val out of the house while struggling with the soldier. Erica and Father Jack show up just in time to fire a few rounds into the soldier, which does not stop him. Nor does the axe that Kyle slams into his chest. Ryan bids farewell to the Fab Four to go take care of Val, but he didn't check with her. Val doesn't forgive him and she doesn't want to see him again. She leaves him alone on the train platform.
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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates would definitely let Tyler join the Live Aboard Program. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Erica, Kyle and Father Jack have the V's hired human assassin in custody. And by "custody," I mean hog-tied to a rafter, arms hoisted overhead with a gag in his mouth, looking like an extra in one of the S & M episodes of CSI or a protagonist in a Stephen Elliot novel. Erica cannot believe a human -- even a human assassin who you know has to be kind of a dick already -- would turn against his entire species and start offing Earthlings at the behest of the Vs. The assassin ...Wait: Here's the only thing I remember from an entire semester of high school Arabic classes: "Assassin" derives from the word hashasheen (no I'm not writing in Arabic letters), which referred to the crazed hash fiends roaming the streets of Cairo back in the good old days and offing people just for the offing. They were basically the crackheads of yore. Not that there's anything wrong with crackheads, in case any of you crackheads are going to get offended by that and start e-mailing long hate-filled missives about how I misuse hyphens and can't write in Arabic script. Sensitive lot, you crackheads. Anyway, Erica is by no means calling her prisoner a crackhead. That would go contrary to the Geneva Convention Against the Torture of Prisoners. Instead she is all ACTING! in his face, which is just as cruel, but not mentioned in the Geneva Convention at all, which is clearly a gross oversight. I'll alert my representative at the United Nations. The assassin swears up and down that the only reason he killed those nice, kindly, innocent Fifth Column members was because the nasty old Vs made him. They threatened his family! His wife! His daughter! His guinea pig! He had no choice. Kyle, heartless mercenary that he is (or at least, that he plays on TV) knows the guy is lying and smacks him around a bit. The killer hones in on the softie of the group -- Father Jack, wearing his clerical collar -- and pleads for clemency, or at least to hold off on the pummeling, Erica, who is playing the Goodish Cop to Kyle's I'll-Fuck-You-Up Cop, keeps her line of questioning to the matter at hand, namely: where is the hard drive with the names of the other Fifth Column members. He swears he has no idea, has never seen it, doesn't even know what a computer is. Kyle winds up for another punch, but Father Jack stops him. Morality can be a real party pooper.
Ryan and Val have just escaped from the Visitors' Healing Center and are trying to make it on the mean streets of New York City. Val doesn't understand what is going on, because, well, the more I get to understand Val the more I think she's a few nuts short of a pie. Is that a saying? If not, it should be. Yes, most of us would have a hard time accepting that our fiancé and baby daddy has a dozen passports and a gun collection to rival Charlton Heston, but wouldn't you just maybe TALK to him before running? I mean, maybe I've watched too much Burn Notice, but I would think SPY and then I would be all kinds of excited. Especially after Ryan's daring rescue of her from the healing center. I mean, right? Those were some bold moves he showed on that V doctor and then he immolated the guy in about three seconds. That's some serious spy shit. Anyway, Val is hesitant to go on running without some answers, so Ryan just blurts it out: He's a Visitor. She doesn't believe him. He explains that some Visitors came earlier than others. She shouts: I'm pregnant! And I'm pretty sure Ryan is aware of that. Val still doesn't get it. Why are the Visitors chasing her? He explains that the Visitors want their baby. That's enough for Val to start running again.
On the Mothership, Anna is greeting all the Earthlings who have [stupidly] agreed to take part in the Live Aboard Program, despite the clear warning from Alien that humans make great incubators. Do you learn nothing from movies, people? Ridley Scott is a PROPHET. Except for 1492, which was complete bullshit. Anna is extolling the virtues of extraterrestrial life when No. 2 almost breaks a sweat (if Vs can sweat) running to tell her the news that a human woman came into the Healing Center carrying a half-human, half-V baby. Anna excuses herself from tour guide duties and grills Marcus for details. When she finds out that the human escaped from the Healing Center, she tells Marcus to make finding the couple his top priority. She wants them alive.
Ryan is stocking up on guns and currency back at his apartment. He tells Val to grab only what she needs, but Val has decided that now would be a great time to be obstinate. She wants to call the police and doesn't believe it when Ryan explains that she can't. She more or less stamps her foot and says she won't go. Ryan pleads with her that the Visitors will kill them all if they catch them. Then to illustrate his point, a few guards from the Healing Center, dispatched by No. 2, show up to slice-n-dice the couple. Ryan quickly dispatches with them, slicing the skin sack off one of them. Val sees his reptilian underpinnings and grabs her stomach, hoping that the kiddo takes after his mother's side of the family. Ryan tells her not to look, and they're off running again before Val can start hurling her stomach at the furniture like the knocked-up teen in Polyester.
Up on the ship, Anna has gathered the doctors from all the ships and is expressing her extreme displeasure in the procreative activities of a certain couple. Her chief medical officer, Joshua, did not think it was yet possible for humans and Vs to breed like Duggars. Yet here we are with a bun in the oven. Awkward! She is convinced that the baby is a threat to their entire species. If the tadpole is born with human emotions but the V looks and charms, it could be bred into a resistance army. So wait: this is all about FEELINGS? Feelings are what keep Anna up at night? FEELINGS?? You've got to be kidding me, show. Is the human-alien hybrid going to love them to death? Or, like, get really moody and bum out the entire race? Whatever. Just lace the R6 with Zoloft and call it a day. Anna thinks this baby is a mongrel whose emotions will bring down their entire civilization. In order to stave off the imminent onslaught of emotion, she wants to step up her plans for the Live Aboard Program, begin the extractions immediately, and cancel the midnight showing of Love Story. The doctors all zap back to their ships to begin the ominous-sounding extraction process on Hyper-Fertile Myrtle and whomever else they suckered into coming onboard. Anna tells No. 2 to capture the parents alive so Joshua can dissect them and figure out how they bred. The baby should be destroyed. Ooh, let's sic the Right-to-Life Movement on Anna, eh?
Ryan takes Val to her Ob/Gyn, because there's nothing like some light gynecology to soothe frazzled nerves. Val blurts that she wants the baby-like thing out of her, but the doctor says it's impossible because she's too far along. Val doesn't buy it, and then suddenly the lights go on in the top floor of Val's head and she asks: You're a Visitor, aren't you? The doctor nods, and Val looks pissed. Like, if her feet weren't in stirrups, she would totally stamp her foot. Then she lets loose on Ryan, because if not now (after he's saved her life twice), when? She can't believe he knocked her up. This is all his fault! She's not carrying a baby! She's carrying a lie. A lie with a TAIL. He almost made her EAT A MOUSE, for chrissake! Ryan shrugs and tries to comfort her, because, really, what else can he say? He didn't think it was possible for her to get pregnant. While Val grumbles to herself, Dr. Pearlman asks if the Vs gave her anything at the clinic, and she admits to an R6 shot, which they swore would be good for the baby. At the mention of the baby, Val starts crying and you almost feel bad for her. Dr. Pearlman gives her a shot that hides the R6 so they won't be able to track Val, but it could take up to 24 hours to take effect. As Val simpers in the corner, Dr. Pearlman tells Ryan that she is coming with them to take care of the baby. Ryan is surprised that she is getting in the fight now, but Dr. Pearlman doesn't think there is anything more important than that tadpole. From the road, Ryan calls Erica to tell her he has Val and is taking her out of town to hide. Also, he's not coming back. Also also, he was wrong to tell her to keep the truth from Tyler. He should have told Val the truth a long time ago. Val shoots him an uber-stink eye when he says that, but he ignores her. He tells her to contact Joshua if she needs any help with her little war, because he's out. He has a baby and a baby mama to take care of. Erica knows they are completely screwed without Ryan fighting with them. I mean, how are they going to prove the aliens are reptiles if Ryan can't roll his eye back in his head on command?
Chad Decker is taking a page out of the Katie Couric Guide to Service Journalism and has invited the world at large to join him on a journey through time and space to the world of Future Chad who has an aneurysm. We will travel with Chad to get that possible aneurysm removed by the caring, loving, precognitive medical wizards known as the Visitors. Chad then switches from Service Journalist to PR flack and adds that he hopes that someday the Visitors can heal his audience and their loved ones, too. He looks very concerned about the health and wellbeing of his audience and it would be touching if it wasn't just entirely fucking creepy. Also, the camera appears to be shooting straight up his nose at a very close distance. Maybe that's how Future Chad wanted the shot set up.
Erica came home from work to talk to Tyler, but he's not talking to her. He's still pissed that she lied or didn't lie about who his dad is or isn't. I mean, according to Erica, she didn't lie, but according to the blood tests, she did. So it's all a bit confusing and undoubtedly too much for Tyler's feeble little brain especially since the bulk of his brain cells are just flashing: *sex*sex*sex*sex*sex*sex*sex*sex*sex*pizza*. Or at least that's what I assume is going on in the heads of most teenage boys. Anyway, Tyler won't talk to Erica even though she keeps apologizing. And, can't she see he is at church, anyway? Erica finally notices that he is watching a video about the new Church of the V on his laptop. She slams the laptop shut angrily, because, really? Church of the V? But when Tyler calls her on her V hatred, once again Erica won't say anything bad about the Visitors. [Even though the all-seeing magic coat is in the other room. - Zach] I guess Ryan's advice didn't sink in. Or she doesn't trust her son, which is highly possible. Tyler suits up to go meet Lisa, and Erica asks if she can maybe meet Lisa sometime? Clothed? Tyler shrugs and heads off.
Up on the Mothership, Anna is filling Lisa in on their accelerated plans. She is inviting Tyler into the Live Aboard Program, and she expects him to say yes. Lisa nods, she won't let her mother down. Anna smiles that it is good that Tyler trusts her. He will live onboard with them until they no longer need him. Lisa and her FEELINGS perk up at that and ask: Then what? Anna just smiles slightly, turns on her heel, and leaves. Oh Lisa, they're just feelings, nothing more than feelings. Anna joins Joshua, who is overseeing some humans getting shots and wristbands. He informs Anna that the human experimentation has already started. No. 2 arrives and informs Anna that the guards he sent to capture the breeders were killed. Anna looks thoughtful and then tells him to release a Soldier. No. 2 is shocked by this decision, but he seems shocked by almost every decision she makes. Maybe he has FEELINGS, too. He reminds Anna that no Soldier has ever set foot on Earth before, and if the humans figure out the reign of destruction and terror that a Solder is capable of, people might start getting suspicious about the Vs. Anna shrugs. She tells No. 2 to follow the Soldier and clean up his mess. Aw, he's like a V pooper scooper.
Well I guess the Fab Four have moved into their luxury underground lair, because the second Kyle is left alone with the hogtied killer, he heads over to the armoire and pulls out some antiques to brag about to the assassin. Showoff! He thinks the guy will be particularly interested in a little trinket called a "Heretic's Fork," which they used with great aplomb during the Inquisition. It looks like a rusty old tuning fork, and it goes under the soft part of the chin. It looks uncomfortable and, yet again, like it also possibly came off the set of an S&M episode of CSI, and don't pretend they don't have a lot of those, because they do. I'd say it's almost a fetish for the writers. Not S&M, but the writing about it. Anyway, if you think the Heretic's Fork look ominous, you should really see the Liar's Butter Knife and the Schismatic Spork. Kyle introduces himself to the captive, "I'm Kyle Hobbes. Perhaps you've heard of me from that bombing in Dublin? Or the assassination in Dubai? No? The gun ring in Bolivia? Really? No? Huh. Well... your alien friends know me. That's why they set me up." Kyle wants answers, but just as he straps the Heretic's Fork, Father Jack opens the door, and Kyle grabs the Heretic's Fork, shoves it in his back pocket and starts whistling "Toxic," because that's innocent enough. But, what, did Kyle swipe the Heretic's Fork from Father Jack's church? Doesn't every Catholic church have a stockpile of torture implements from the Inquisition JUST IN CASE? I went to 12 years of Lutheran school, and we Protestants have a lot of suspicions about the Catholics. I hear they also have tails and put ice cubes in their wine. Father Jack gives Kyle a look, which would clearly send shivers down the spines of any Catholic school students. Father Jack wants their prisoner treated well until they know for sure that he is a species traitor. After that: Have at him. Glad to know exactly where you draw the line on torture, Padre. Kyle knows he's right, and he knows Father Jack will really regret not torturing that guy some more. Further debate on the morality of torture is paused when the V communication device illuminates. It's Joshua.
Up on the ship, Anna and Lisa tell Tyler the good news: He has been invited to take part in the Live Aboard Program. But, oddly, Tyler is not jumping up and down in glee at the prospect of unfettered access to his smokin' hotress of a girlfriend. Anna asks, "Why so glum, chum?" an aphorism she picked up on the Rosetta Stone "Down Homey American English" CDs she listened to on the flight to Earth. And he explains that his mom might be a little upset if he joins the program. WHAT?? All of a sudden you care what your mom thinks? Since when? While it is nice, if slightly surprising, to know that Tyler has a soul, this is decidedly out of character. But: whatever. Anna nods. She knows Erica is scared for Tyler. She dispatches Lisa to console Erica and talk her through the many benefits of living on an alien ship. Think how that would look on a college application!
Father Jack calls Erica with Joshua's report that Anna has released a Soldier to find Val and Ryan. Anna wants the baby. As a vehemently pro life (albeit pro rationalized torture) Catholic, this just seems to add a level of urgency to Father Jack's mission to protect Ryan and Val. Erica explains that Ryan has gone off the grid and there is no way to warn him. Also, the prints came back on the killer and, sure enough, he's ex-military and a trained killer. Kyle may just be right about him. Erica is heading over to the guy's house to talk to his wife. She thinks he stashed the stolen hard drive there. She's going to find it and hopefully find a lead for tracking Ryan. They really didn't come up with a contingency plan for emergencies? PLANNING, people! Sheesh, do I have to think of everything?
Ryan, Val and Third Wheel Pearlman pull up in front of a house. They're greeted by a wholesome couple who apparently ran the Underground Railroad for the Fifth Column back in the day. They assure Val that they'll get her somewhere safe, like a cabin in the Adirondacks fully stocked with guns and tinned food. Val fake-smiles, but looks like she is going to start hurling herself at the furniture so she can move back to the City and drink lattes and order delivery like decent folk. Up on the ship, No. 2 is having a hard time tracking Val due to Dr. Pearlman's shot causing interference in the R6 tracking device. No matter though, because the Soldier has already found them. Who thinks the Underground Railroad couple is toast? I do! I do!
Chad Decker gets Future Chad's aneurysm repaired on the Mothership. It involves some pretty spinning blue lights. And, living up to his promise to the American people, there are cameras filming his healing. Apparently the camera crew took the first shuttle back to Earth, because when Chad wakes up, they are gone. Only Anna is waiting for him to wake. She didn't want him to wake up alone. Yeah, rub it in that he has no friends or family and a really disloyal camera crew. In a clearly calculated move, Anna smiles that no one should be alone in the world and then turns to leave. Chad stops her to thank her for everything she has done for him. Is there anything he can do to repay her kindness? Anna smiles and sics him on the Fifth Column. He'll get a Milk Bone if he fetches them!
Erica pays a visit to the wife and daughter of the captive killer. If you ever wonder what kind of salary an assassin makes, it looks to be enough to buy a two-story detached Craftsman bungalow with a porch, garage and yard in the greater New York City area. So, based on the real estate, they make about the same as an FBI agent. Erica explains to the woman who answers the door that she is looking for her husband, because his name came up in a murder investigation. She adds that it appears to be tied to anti-Visitor activities. Were she and her husband ever threatened by the Vs? The woman explains that the Visitors healed their daughter. She was paralyzed from the neck down and now is scooting around the house in her Heelies and begging for cookies. They owe everything to the Visitors. Erica suddenly gets it. Before she goes, she asks to use the bathroom and zips upstairs, rummages around in the study and unearths the stolen hard drive. Note to self: Never let the FBI use the bathroom.
Erica hurries back to the underground lair and confronts the still-hogtied killer with her newfound information. I'm pretty sure I saw on some S&M episode of CSIthat being hung by one's hands for too long can result in suffocation via lungs collapsing. But this dude looks likes all he needs is a glass of sweet tea and a little walkabout and he'll be fine. Kyle reports that the hard drive has been wiped and they can only get partial information off of it. Erica knows Ryan is going to someone named the Thompsons (Harriet Tubman Thompson, that is), but she needs the assassin, Jeffrey (which is also a terrible name for a hired killer. Can't they call the killers something like Dolph or Franco or One-Eye or something more ominous sounding?) to give her the Thompsons' address so they can find Ryan before the Vs hunt him down and kill him. And the baby! Erica tries to be kind to Jeffrey. She totally gets that the Visitors saved his daughter's life, but he's on the wrong side of this fight and he needs to give them the names and addresses of the Fifth Column members. He thinks the Fifth Column is a terrorist organization and he won't help them. The Visitors healed his daughter. They made her whole again. He will do anything to help the Visitors. Erica asks nicely again, but Jeffrey won't talk. So she explains that if he doesn't tell her, he WILL tell Krazy Kyle over there. Jeffrey shrugs as best he can with his arms tied over his head. So Erica leaves. Jeffrey shoots Father Jack a pleading glance, but Father Jack won't intercede this time. Erica and Jack wait in the car and ten minutes later Kyle comes up with the address. Good thing Jeffrey had it memorized, eh?
Up at the stop on the Underground Railroad, Ryan, Val and Dr. Pearlman are getting ready to hit the road to their new lives as Mountain Men. I think Val is wearing a Ric Owens coat, which is totally appropriate for her new lifestyle. Suddenly the lights go out throughout the house. Everyone grabs their guns except Ryan, who grabs his Icicle of Evil thingy. He hands Val a handgun, but Dr. Pearlman, the Visitor who has probably been trained in fighting, gets nothing and flits about nervously. Jesus, Third Wheel, quit acting like a nitwit. Despite being armed with a shotgun, Farmer Ted is the first to be offed by the Soldier. Harriet Tubman follows her dead husband's blood trail to his body and gets Icicled for her efforts. Ryan locks Val and the increasingly hapless Dr. Pearlman in a room and goes to confront the Soldier, icicle to icicle. Ryan doesn't immediately see the soldier, who is literally sniffing around downstairs and using his reptilian eyes to sense heartbeats. When someone starts trying to open the door, Val draws her weapon and aims, but it's just Ryan, who wants them to leave. Considering how pissed she is, it is surprising that she doesn't shoot him just because she has an excuse. He ushers the ladies downstairs, but the Soldier crashes through the ceiling and tackles Val. Ryan redirects the Soldier's ire and sends the ladies downstairs. Ryan and the Soldier tussle and crash and fall down the stairs ,and just when Ryan is about to get Icicled himself, shots ring out. Erica and Father Jack have arrived just in time. The Soldier runs off whimpering like a little girl. Everyone scoots outside to the waiting cars as Erica asks what the hell that thing was. Just as Ryan is explaining that it is a V soldier, it reappears on the porch. Kyle greets him with an axe to the chest. This does not really bother the soldier so much as slow him down long enough for everyone to drive off.
The briefly reunited Fab Foursome gaggles at the Nyack train station. [There actually is no Nyack train station, nor would it look like a train station in California if there was. - Z] Ryan explains that Soldiers are bred for destruction, and almost nothing can stop them except doggedness, persistence and FEELINGS. Also, Joshua happened to mention that Anna was birthing thousands of them babies up on the old ship. Everyone gets sort of wide-eyed at the thought of facing thousands of those soldiers. Who, by the by, totally take after their daddy, except they definitely got their evil from their mama. As everyone is mind-boggled over the thought of them thousand soldiers, Ryan chucks 'em all on the chin and bids them adieu with a chipper, "Don't worry guys! You can totally win this war. I'm-a just gonna be over there." As Ryan ambles off into the sunset, Erica asks what they should do with the now useless but still-dangerous assassin they have tied up in their lair, that is if he hasn't suffocated in his own collapsed lungs yet. Kyle offers to take him to some friends with connections at some black ops prison sites. No muss, no fuss. Erica and Father Jack don't really believe him, but don't have a better suggestion. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to disposing of mercenaries, I guess.
Ryan goes to join Val on the train, but at the entrance to the train car she stops him. She is going into hiding, but not with him. She doesn't want to see him again. Ryan protests that she won't be safe, which, yeah she won't be. She did see the V Soldier, right? Heck, she saw the security guards from the Healing Center, right? She knows that the Vs are ruthless and determined, yet she wants her baby-daddy bodyguard to vamoose? Um... CHOICES, Val. But, Val is firm. She does NOT forgive Ryan, and she's not going to try and work on that. Maybe Father Jack should step in and talk to her about the Joy of Forgiveness and toss some Bible verses her way. Ryan looks really heartbroken. He swears that everything he has done is for Val. And since we know he more or less became human when he saw her at John May's funeral, this is undoubtedly true. Val remains resolute and Ryan's protests of "Don't do me like that, baby!" and "Not in front of my friends!" don't move her. She gets on the train with Dr. Pearlman and doesn't look back. And, um, lucky Dr. Pearlman to get to hang out with Val all the time.
Father Jack is doing the rosary about 12,000 times to seek absolution for his sins. He's only on number 72 when Chad Decker walks into his office uninvited. Father Jack is obviously surprised to see him and drops his rosary in a box while they talk. He notes that he saw Chad get healed on TV and hopes he is feeling okay. Chad admits that he feels pretty much the same as he did before and wonders if he really would have developed an aneurysm. Father Jack asks if he thinks the Visitors lied to him, and Chad carefully says that he thinks Anna is keeping secrets. She's worried about the Fifth Column, and he wants to find out about them. Father Jack pretends he has never heard of them, but Father Jack is a crap liar. Chad makes him promise to ask his parishioners. Father Jack dutifully nods and Chad--in a move clearly stolen from Anna--turns to leave and smiles evilly as he walks.
On the Mothership, No. 2 solemnly reports that they have lost track of the baby and the parents. Something is interfering with the R6 and they can't Alien GPS her. Anna glares at him and insists that they find that baby. Also, wasn't No. 2 supposed to following the Soldier and cleaning up his mess? Because there are a few dead bodies lying around a house in Nyack. No. 2 also reports that Chad Decker is here to deliver a message in person that could have easily been delivered over the phone. Humans! Anna is surprised to see him, and after some idiotic small talk he tells her that he has begun investigating the Fifth Column. He will fill her in as soon as he knows anything. Then he hops the shuttle back to earth. He really must have no life if he can just spend all day hopping shuttles.
Erica is taking some Me Time at home when the doorbell rings, and she's surprised to see Lisa waiting on the porch. Tyler's not home, so it's the perfect time for a little girl talk. Erica makes tea for her and then launches into a little interview. Lisa explains that she's never met anyone like Tyler before (read: human teenager) and he is just so unique and fascinating. Erica rolls her eyes, because even his own mother has to say: AS IF. Then Lisa mentions the Live Aboard Program and Erica is startled to hear that Tyler is considering it, because she apparently hasn't been paying attention to him for the last few weeks and did not notice that all he talks about is the freaking Vs and their freaking Live Aboard Program. Erica starts to tear up a little bit at the thought of her little boy living on a spaceship with vicious, man-eating reptiles. She explains her tears to Alien Lisa as due to her son slipping away from her. Lisa and her FEELINGS take note of this and she apologizes for helping drive the two of them apart. Tyler comes home then, with flowers for Lisa and an almost smile for his mother. Lisa drags Tyler aside and tells him that she doesn't think he should be in the Live Aboard Program. His mom needs him! Tyler doesn't get it. They were supposed to be together forever and never to part, together forever they two. Doesn't she know he would move heaven and earth to be together forever with her? Lisa smiles curtly, hands him back his flowers and leaves. Obviously, Tyler takes it out on Erica, because obviously she said something to Lisa. Erica denies it, but Tyler doesn't care anymore. He is going to live on that ship! Isn't he still 17? Doesn't that mean he's a minor? Just sayin'. Hard to tell if Lisa is trying to spare Tyler from Anna's extermination plan or whether she was trying to ensure Tyler got on the ship by further driving the wedge between him and his mother.
Up on the ship, Lisa reports to Anna that Tyler's not coming. Erica's not on board yet, and Lisa thinks their plan will be more effective if they have his mother's cooperation. Anna looks at Lisa suspiciously, but pretends she trusts her judgment on this. Lisa nods and walks off, while Anna continues to watch her all judgey-like.
Kyle marches Jeffrey into the woods. Before he kills him he wants everything he knows about the Visitors.
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