Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blue Balls
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 04.20.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Chad Decker's unconscious is pretty sure he can't trust Anna, but distrust is HOTTT. Anna and Chad and his dirty dreams are in Geneva so Anna can present a technological gift of Blue Energy to a world forum. Chad has given up any pretense of being objective and stands as Anna's wingman during the conference. When Anna's plan is thwarted by a protocol-happy Secretary General, a natural disaster gives her an opening. She dispatches rescue ships carrying Blue Energy. Chad reports on the miraculous rescue and the conference decides to let her speak. She stages a laser light show, and wins a round of applause for her trouble. But the Secretary General isn't joining in. He has suspicions about the Vs plans to leave earth. Chad confronts Anna, and she almost confirms the Visitors' plans to stay. Almost.
After cracking into Ryan's safe and finding the evidence of a secret life, Val is on the run. Ryan enlists the aid of his V doctor friend to find Val before she sees her own ob/gyn. But Val isn't going to her regular doctor, instead she's opted for the Visitors' Healing Center. Luckily, Ryan asked Erica to trace Val's phone, and he finds her at the clinic before the V doctor can report her pregnancy to Anna. After the doctor gets all kinds of uppity, Val decides to trust Ryan enough to escape with him.
In her capacity as an FBI agent, Erica is enlisted to investigate the Fifth Column, which is a whole bowl of awkward. After the Visitors slaughter a small cell of rebels, she gets a lead on a survivor. Father Jack pimps his priesthood to go visit the man's dying father, who directs him towards his son. Kyle suggests that they use the frumpy schoolteacher as bait -- and he agrees. And when there are six more Fifth Column murders, the Fab Four sense the urgency of drawing V blood. They set a trap for the V assassin, but the V beats them to the scene and shoots the poor schlub. After the harmless schoolteacher dies in his arms, Father Jack finally picks up a gun and they capture the assassin alive. The big surprise: the assassin is human.
Joshua has to administer an empathy test on Lisa. Unfortunately, SHE FAILED. And Anna's directive was clear: Eliminate anyone who fails, no exceptions. Obviously, she blames Tyler and her mission to make him fall in love with her. So when Tyler shows up on the ship -- because he is still mad at his mom for not telling him that his dad is not genetically his dad -- Lisa tries to steer clear, but she just can't quit him. Instead, she takes him on a love flight, where Tyler announces his intentions to join the Live Aboard Program and Lisa gives up the Big V. Meanwhile, Joshua and the V in Black can't decide whether Lisa is turning human and could join the resistance or whether she is a trap set out by Anna. When Anna gets back to the ship from her trip to Geneva, she gives Lisa a little talking to. But Anna was pleased to hear that Lisa passed her empathy test. Lisa is relieved to hear that too, even if it means she owes Joshua a favor.
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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates would definitely pass the empathy test if you made her watch episodes of Emeril Live. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Chad Decker steps out of the shower in his hotel room in Geneva, Switzerland, clad only in a towel. Sometimes I think theses scenes are put into shows just so that the fans know that Scott Wolfe has a trainer, doesn't eat carbs, and has generally held up well over the years. I mean, yes, people do wander around their hotel rooms in towels, but these scenes show up a lot. Did you catch Timothy Olyphant in Justified last week? Holy hell! Now THAT guy has a trainer. In fact, I'm pretty sure you could just tell your trainer that I want to look like Timothy Olyphant and they would know. Kind of like when people bring pictures of, like, Lauren Conrad or Rhea Perlman to their hairdresser and say, "I want her hair." Anyway, Chad is in Geneva in a towel and suddenly Anna is there too. She is wearing a tight red dress and about five pounds of mascara. She pushes Chad against the door and reminds him that she knows he doesn't want to be ordinary, but can she trust him? Her hand plays with his towel, brushes up against his chest and they start kissing. Her hands slowly make their way to his neck and start choking the bejeezus out of him. Oh shit! If you die in your dream you stay dead! (I learned that from Nightmare on Elm Street. Suck it, remake.) I can't decide whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that Chad wakes up to the sound of his alarm. You see, my jury is still out on Chad. Yes, it is nice to see Scott Wolfe back on the old tv screen and not, say, pulling a Jeremy London or, god forbid, a Neve Campbell (can someone stage a Scream intervention, please? Honey, it's just not a good idea, even if it is your only option). But I just feel that Scott Wolf's, or more specifically, Chad Decker's, character is just developing too slowly. Yes, we now know he doesn't want to live an ordinary life like ordinary people. He wants to be fab and famous and he doesn't want to have an aneurysm. But I don't get him yet and there aren't that many episodes remaining for me to learn to care. Anyway, Chad is awake and shaking off that pesky just-choked feeling. He turns to the television, which is already on and blaring, and sees them reporting on the story that Anna has unexpectedly arrived at a conference of world leaders in Switzerland hoping to present the world with a gift of blue energy. Chad smiles, which is kind of a weird reaction to seeing someone who just almost killed you in your sleep. I bet Johnny Depp doesn't smile at Freddy Krueger, but maybe Chad is into that sort of thing. Like I said, we don't know much about Chad. But I guess we can add erotic strangulation to the list of "likes".
Erica is extending the olive branch to Tyler. Just substitute Zabar's bagel with schmear for olive branch. Tyler is unimpressed with the gesture. While I like the New York flair of pimping Zabar's on national television, I still don't understand where in the greater New York City area an FBI agent can afford to buy a two-story detached house with a porch and a yard and, like, windows and a formal dining room. Tell me where it is so I can move there. Erica wants to talk to Tyler about what his dad said about not being his biological father; she swears it is not true. They are a family! Tyler doesn't believe her. He's going to the ship where people tell him the truth. At that, Erica manages not to snort and roll her eyes, which may be the best acting Elizabeth Mitchell has done on this show thus far.
Ryan is at home when Val finally calls him. She coolly tells him that she found the passports and doesn't know who he is. He frantically tries to convince her that he was coming home to tell her the truth, that there is nothing wrong with her baby, but he really wants to talk in person. Val ignores the request and asks, "Whose baby is this?" Since she's only six weeks pregnant the ultrasounds can't possibly be hers. Wait, wait, what conclusion is she jumping to? Does she think Ryan is hoarding someone else's ultrasound pictures? I mean, she has to know something is wrong with her baby what with all the kicking and dead mouse buffets. So why would she be SO shocked that the baby is larger than normal? But the question, "Whose baby is this?" is so strange, she could be making the logical leap that the baby she is carrying was IMPLANTED in her somehow? That is ...odd, yet also awesome. It shows that Val is a very open minded girl, which bodes well for a future with Ryan. She hangs up on him as he tries to get her to meet him. The rest of his calls go straight to voicemail. Aw man, that's cold. He calls Dr. Pearlman instead. They both know that if Val goes to a regular obstetrician they will know something fishy is going on. The doctor helpfully suggests that they find her before it is too late.
Erica eventually remembers that she has a job and wanders on over to the nearest crime scene. Three bodies killed by a professional. One victim crawled away, but they don't know where he's gone. The agent who runs the V terrorist task force, the one who is played by Rekha Sharma (I have no idea what her character's name is), calls Erica over to show her a mark that was on all the victims' bodies. It is a little white V nicked right behind the ear. It's the way you prove you are not an alien. Erica knows it, but pretends she has no idea. Rekha Sharma glares at her and then shows her to the cubbyhole where the victims were planning their terrorist attack on the Visitors. She explains to Erica that they were most likely members of the Fifth Column, a terrorist organization targeting the Visitors. Erica looks interested, but not overly. Rekha Sharma explains that they are tracking their group. There has been increased chatter on the terrorism partylines since the "John May Lives" rallying call appeared on the bottom of the Mothership. Also, it appears that a computer hard drive was taken. It probably has names and numbers and star signs of other members of the Fifth Column. They need to find the Fifth Column and she could really use Erica's terrorism expertise. Their boss interrupts to tell them that they found the identity of the surviving victim. He's a high school computer science teacher. Erica needs to find him before the killer does so she can lead the FBI to the Fifth Column. Awkward!
In Geneva, Anna is putting on business casual with No.2 acting as valet. He also reports that her assessment of the situation was correct and after the "John May Lives" message, the Fifth Column has been coming out of hiding. They are being picked off like flies. Anna mumbles, "Mmm, flies." They leave the hotel room and see Chad Decker waiting for them. Chad is excited to be covering the conference for the first time. Although, it looks like he is not so much reporting as acting as Anna's spokesmodel. Anna claims she is just super thrilled to present the world with a selfless present of sustainable technology and Chad gets to witness progress first hand. Chad helpfully explains that these global gatherings are more about political posturing than progress, but Anna replies that she is hoping to change that. Dream big!
Erica comes barreling into the church, but before she can report on the Fifth Column murders, Ryan stops her. He needs her help. Val is human, pregnant, and missing. He lied to her and it just drove her away. Obvs, Erica can relate to THAT. She will do what she can to help him track down Val. Ryan tells Father Jack and Kyle about the pregnancy. Ryan explains that Georgie knew and sacrificed himself so the Visitors wouldn't kill Ryan's family the way they killed Georgie's. Then Kyle makes a crack about a "terrarium", which actually wasn't all that funny, but Ryan throws him up against the wall anyway. Apparently, keeping reptiles locked in a cage is just