Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blue Balls
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 04.20.2010
In Geneva, Chad asks the Secretary General for two minutes, off the record. The smart-as-fuck SG asks, "Off the record from the press? Or from Anna?" Aw, snap! Chad blinks, and explains that he doesn't work for Anna. The Secretary General cracks up laughing at that, because that's a real rib tickler. Chad doesn't think it's funny. He wants to know why the Secretary General is openly opposing Anna when no one else will. The SG replies that Anna's gifts all come with a cost. For example, the healing centers have ravaged the medical industry and if she gives free energy to the world, she will do the same to the energy industry. Chad asks if the Secretary General is putting the bottom line above helping people, but the SG corrects him: It's the same thing. Yeah, he pretty much understands Anna's game. Chad looks uncomfortable at this whole situation. Is the Secretary General questioning his journalistic ethics? Or his humanity? Either way: Not awesome.
Even though Anna got shut down by the Canadian protocol lovers, she is determined to find a way to present to the world forum. Luckily, Mother Nature offers her an opportunity. The island nation of Timbal has been hit with a devastating monsoon that has wiped out their power grid and infrastructure. While the world leaders and their protocol try to hatch a rescue plan, Anna launches a rescue ship packed full of blue energy.
On the Mothership, Tyler is happy to see Lisa even though she has been avoiding his calls. Lisa is not so thrilled to see him. She doesn't need to be lead further down the path of temptation into empathy. Although, frankly, I still think it would be difficult for Tyler to lead anyone into anything except repulsion. I mean, he is SO unlikeable. Does he have any redeeming characteristics? Lisa still doesn't understand what he is doing on the ship since she was ignoring his phone calls. He pouts and says he has the sads because mommy and daddy were mean to him and he wanted to be away from home for a while. Lisa softens at that and nods; she needs to be away from home, too. So in what looks to be an exact replica of the intro to Pigs in Space (go look, I'll wait, see??), Lisa and Tyler rocket off for some alone time.
Down on earth, Ryan calls Erica. He can't find Val and he really needs her to pull some illegal FBI magic and track her down. Erica doesn't mind. What's a little light breaching of the Constitution? Alex is explaining to Jack and Kyle how he and his friends tried to meet up with the Fifth Column to get some weapons, but instead a V came and killed everyone. It's like having a surprise party for Mike Myers and Michael Meyers shows up instead. Bummer for everyone. Kyle asks how they set up the meeting and Alex says they coded messages into photographs. Kyle points out the obvious: The Vs hacked their code. Alex looks pretty bummed. Guess he won't get a passing grade in his own computer science class. Kyle suggests that they use the website to send out an SOS and set up a meeting. When the V assassin comes, they'll kill him. Erica likes the plan except for the killing part. She thinks they should keep the guy alive and get some answers.
Up on the Mothership, Joshua and the V in Black debate whether they should report to Anna that Lisa failed her empathy test. Her death would either be a great victory for the Fifth Column, or if she is changing into a humanish reptile, then they would be killing a potentially high-ranking and useful ally. Joshua is fairly convinced that Lisa is changing like they did, but the V in Black isn't so sure. What if this is all a test of Joshua's loyalty? Anna is obviously the type to set up such a trial. The V in Black doesn't think they can ever trust her.
Speaking of Lisa, what do two teenagers do when they are left alone with no adult supervision? Yes, even in outer space teens are a bunch of horn dogs. Lisa wisely covers up her jacket iSight camera so she doesn't give the Visitors the chance to put the 'V' in voyeur. By the way, she is wearing the exact same bra as she was the last time we saw it. I guess neither Agent Provacateur nor Victoria's Secret has had the business sense or foresight to open an on-ship shop for all the lacy needs of the lady Vs. Or maybe underwear makes you empathetic. Anyway, Tyler doesn't care. He strips off his shirt and they roll onto the sofa. He asks if she's okay with this and she says...NO, but then kisses him anyway. I guess the "No Means No" message hasn't reached outer space yet. Let's ship Nancy Reagan out there pronto. Oh shit, is she dead? I think she's dead. Crap. Who has picked up her mantle? Dionne Warwick? Is she dead too? Fuck it. Lisa and Tyler lose their big Vs. By the way, the song they chose to illuminate this magical event? Florence and the Machines "Cosmic Love". I had to Shazam that shit so I would be sure never to accidentally recreate this "special moment" while on a treadmill. Can you choose to NOT have your song played during a deflowering? I'm just saying: CHOICES, people.
Ryan has temporarily given up on his search for Val and stops by HQ to see how Kyle, Erica, and Jack are faring with Alex Caruso and the trap for the V assassin. By the way, based on how the camera zoomed in on the building, it appears the dank basement they are using as temporary headquarters is based in the luxury condo development, One Brooklyn. One bedroom apartments still available for a mere $825,000! Highway view, too! Ryan gives Kyle and Erica some pointers on how to fight a V assassin. He thinks they should bring guns to the inevitable knife fight. Vs always use knives because they are untraceable and don't lead to a lot of questions like a Martian Ultra Lite Ray Gun 2000 would. Still, you know that Medical Examiner on Law and Order would be all, "It was a knife, but I've never seen a blade like that ...on this planet." Erica's office calls for a status update and she tells them about the gunshots on the rooftop and the ensuing NYPD investigation. Rekha Sharma tells her to hurry up because there are more dead bodies. Alex Caruso asks Father Jack why he joined the Fifth Column and Jack claims he had to in order to protect his congregation and his faith; Erica had to join to protect her son (nice job on that one, BTW, he's up in space porking a hairy gecko while you're "protecting him"). Alex joined up because his grandpa was in WWII and his dad fought in Vietnam. This was going to be his fight. His dad told him he wasn't cut out for it -- and he was right. Father Jack gives him an encouraging pat on the shoulder as Erica woefully reports that more Fifth Column members have been killed in Tokyo and Sydney and other expensive real estate locations. No one looks happy.