Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blue Balls
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 04.20.2010
Speaking of expensive real estate, things are changing in Geneva. As Chad Decker reports with totally unbiased language: High Commander Anna's brave and generous act to save the people of Timbale has made her a hero. Praise be to Anna! Her magnanimous gift of Blue Energy has saved countless lives in the monsoon-wracked nation. In thanks, the World Progress Forum has decided to let Anna present her "gift" to the world. She holds up two marbles -- a blue one and a silver one -- holds them next to each other and the room fills with electric blue light. Anna intones that Blue Energy is the answer to one of the world's most pressing concerns (obviously the most pressing concern aside from the ALIEN INVASION). Blue Energy is sustainable, non-polluting and requires no infrastructure. To the people of Timbale, it was lifesaving. Everyone oohs and ahhs and then the energy zips back into Anna's hands and she replaces the marbles in a petrie dish. Everyone claps enthusiastically as Anna gives No. 2 a look like, "Haha, they bought it!" and I get, this song stuck in my head. Out in the audience highly professional Chad Decker shouts across the room, "Hey Secretary General! You want to thank Anna, now or send her an Edible Arrangement later?" Chad Decker is not a man for protocol or, apparently, manners. The Secretary General gives him the evil eye and then, since he is on the spot, stands next to Anna and thanks her for the contribution. They have a lot to learn from her. He shakes her hand and then high tails it off the stage. Anna shoots No.2 a look this time clearly meaning, "Eat that fucker, before he harshes my mellow!" Obviously Chad can't let the Secretary General get away without further annoyance. The Secretary General has some WORDS for Chad: Anna came to the forum under the pretense of diplomacy, but played politics with tragedy and ended up with a great deal of political clout. Now, if they are just "Visitors", then why does she need political clout? As Chad glances over at Anna surrounded by sheiks and Angela Merkel and African leaders, he looks schooled. As he should.
Erica is over diplomacy. You can tell by the way she loads her Glock. Kyle is giving Alex an earpiece and going over the set up. The assassin will approach Alex, but Kyle will have a sniper rifle trained on him and Erica will have her gun at the ready. Kyle even hands Father Jack a gun, which he reluctantly takes. The meet is set up at a closed amusement park. Alex is obviously extremely nervous, but Father Jack promises him he will be safe, which is probably the stupidest thing you can ever say to someone being used as HUMAN BAIT FOR AN ASSASSIN. I mean, knock on wood or something, Father, sheesh. As they prepare to head out, Erica pulls Ryan aside: She got a trace on Val's cell phone and it's not good news. Val headed to a doctor all right -- A doctor at a Visitor Health Center!
Up on the Mothership, Lisa and Tyler are basking in their post coital glow, holding hands, and giggling as they disembark from the Shuttle of Love. When Joshua approaches the happy couple, Lisa quickly drops Tyler's hand and takes two steps sideways. Joshua coldly tells her that her mother's shuttle will be arriving from Geneva shortly and she has asked to see Lisa first thing upon her arrival. Lisa nods solemnly and turns to Tyler and tells him he has to leave. Mothers don't generally like the boys who deflower their daughters, and with Anna's anger management issues, this is probably a wise decision. Tyler looks hurt and confused by Lisa's rejection. He asks tentatively if he is going to see her tomorrow, but since Lisa is pretty sure she will be dead, she just says, "Goodbye Tyler" and smiles at him. Don't worry, Tyler, this is all excellent fodder for your next therapy session with Val, although I'm not sure she is in any condition to help anyone with their mental wellbeing. Tyler trudges slowly off, looking far more dejected than a teenage boy who just got some from a girl who is WAY out of his league should look. Lisa turns to Joshua, stands up straight, and tells him to alert her when her mother arrives. Way to face your destiny, Lisa.
It is night at the amusement park and everyone is in place. Kyle sits in sniper position while Erica and Father Jack are tucked away and Alex Caruso stands smack dab out in the open. They are all ready for the impending knife attack, although they keep stage whispering encouraging words to Alex so I am not sure why they are thinking their presence will be a surprise. The real surprise is that the V assassin brought a gun to a gunfight. He is staked out on the top of a tower with his own sniper rifle. So at least he can't hear them hollering at each other, but he can take shots at Alex. Kyle assures Alex that the sniper can't get a clean shot and Alex needs to not panic and follow Kyle's directions. Obviously Alex panics. He makes a run for it and gets shot in the back. Erica runs after the guy, while Kyle keeps his site trained on Father Jack who is trying to stop Alex from dying and totally breaking his promise to Caruso the Elder. Father Jack's efforts to staunch the bleeding are for naught and he switches to Last Rites. Erica has successfully tracked the killer, but he surprises her and kicks the gun out of her hand. They tussle and suddenly Erica is down and the killer has a gun pointed at her. Before he can shoot Erica in the head and make this show REALLY interesting, he is shot from behind. After watching Alex die in his arms, Father Jack has taken up arms. Erica kicks the assassin while he's down and they pin him. Erica asks Father Jack if he is okay, but he is decidedly NOT okay. As Erica finishes tying up the man, she notices something frightening: He's not a Visitor. He's human.
Onboard the Mothership, Lisa is facing her destiny, her mother, and thousands of her tadpole brethren swimming in their hot tub incubators. Anna tells Lisa that she knows she has asked a lot of her with the assignment to make Tyler fall in love with her. She has handled the task well, which is good because the future of their entire race rests on the task of making a horny, chuckleheaded galoot of a teenage boy fall in love with her hot blonde skin sack. Task well done. Lisa looks pleased, but is waiting for the punchline where Anna says she has to die. Anna continues that their job requires no human emotion, no empathy, no feelings. She reaches into the hot tub and plucks out a single tadpole. It pretty much looks like a cross between a Jello mold and a breast implant (which I know because I watch a lot of Dr. 90210, because I am that sort of girl, apparently). As Anna finishes her speech about how weak the soldier is because he is, you know, FETAL, she takes Lisa's hand and puts it on top of the egg and they SMASH IT with their bare hands just to prove how little empathy and human emotion they have. Family bonding at its finest! Anna congratulates Lisa on passing her empathy test and as Anna leaves to wash her hand (I hope), Lisa looks pensive. Relieved, but pensive.
Chad Decker finds Anna alone looking over her good press from the Timbale rescue operation. He has realized that the only reason she invited him to Geneva was because she knew the Forum wouldn't let her present her Blue Energy. If the monsoon hadn't had such impeccable timing, what would she have done? She smiles sweetly that between Darfur or Myanmar, she had a lot of options. There is tragedy everywhere on earth. I may be naïve, but I don't think Darfur's problems are rooted in a lack of sustainable energy. If Anna is going to be the galaxy's biggest philanthropist, Chad wants to be by her side. Anna swears that she gave Blue Energy to the world as an act of kindness, but Chad has his own theory (that he cribbed from a certain Secretary General): He doesn't think Anna and the Visitors are leaving Earth anytime soon. Anna doesn't exactly answer, but tells Chad that she needs people she can trust. Does Chad trust her?