Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
PREVIOUSLY
Oh, it was great. Sookie laid a whole trap for Ben that ended with her calling him out right when they were about to do it. I don't even remember what else. Eric turned Willa, figuring she'd either kill her dad or fix his racism, but she ended up in Camp Anna instead. Pam and Nora got taken as well, the latter after figuring out that only Warlow can take down Lilith for some reason. Jason got some of Ben's fairy-vamp blood in him, so he's more Jason than he has been for a long time. And oh right, Jessica ate all of Andy's daughters. That part was dreadful.
GIRL + BOY + NUCLEAR BOMB
Ben is now British (...and a lord). Also nekkid, which rules.
Sookie: "Get the fuck off me or die, Warlow."
Warlow: "Sookie..."
Sookie: "No, I have a bomb. You watch your stupid whore mouth."
Warlow: "You don't understand..."
Sookie: "Damn right I don't! Here is just a small partial list of shit I don't understand. Why do vampires hunt me every season? Lie to me constantly? Fake me out into drinking their blood? Come all up in my house and break my china with their god powers? I got more, those are just the ones on my mind right this second."
Warlow: "You are my intended. I've wandered this Earth for millennia, in misery and solitude, waiting for you. Dreaming only of you..."
Sookie: "FUCK YOU."
Warlow: "No, like, Jacob explained this -- almost verbatim -- in the first season of this show."
Sookie: "No, still fuck you. Sorry, Jacob."
Warlow: "But it's our destiny to be together."
Sookie: "Fuck destiny, even with a British accent. Even naked. If you love me so damn much..."
Warlow: "I do, I always have!"
Sookie: "Then why did you kill my parents?"
Warlow: "Awkward..."
SPEAKING OF: CASTLE COMPTON
Ol' Jessica's havin' a time. She throws herself in Bill's arms screaming obscenities and self-hatred, and he hangs onto her and pretends it's going to be okay -- and that she didn't just doom us all to Camp Ire -- and then before you know it she's climbing onto him, kissin' him, makin' him barf. Makin' everybody barf. Makin' you barf, makin' me barf. Jessica, quit it please. I know tonight was pretty bad, but knock it the hell off. We are less than three minutes in.
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Bill: "You are DRUNK. This is a violation of the highest order. People watching cannot handle seeing this happen. Think of the viewers."
Jessica: "I want to fuck! Or die! Or die while I'm fucking!"
Bill: "Honey, I know. Faerie blood makes you high. Check me out the first several seasons of this show and ask yourself if you're prepared to suck that much ass. Spoiler alert, nobody is, which is how I ended up the man you see before you."
Jessica: "NOW I AM EVEN MORE EMBARRASSED."
STACK HOUSE
Warlow: "On the night that your parents were killed, they were trying to kill you. I saved you..."
Sookie smacks him with a little fingerblast, and -- curious! -- across the cemetery, Bill gets knocked a few feet back. Mommy feels it when Baby gets slapped? That's awesome.
...Oh, and hey: Halfway point of the season. This is going to be a doozy, I can already tell. We're still not at the credits, even, and all this shit is going down. (Bill now has some Lilith memories of Ben in a Skyrim historical world, wearing a wig and frying her ass in a cave with faerie magicks, but let's stick to the positive.)
Jessica: "Bill, please do not go into a weird Akasha coma right now. That is the only thing that would make this worse is if you went back into mummy state on me."
Bill: "Go to bed, you'll sleep it off. I have to have more weird memories of the Olden Times. Also, I need to go see somebody real quick."
MEANWHILE
"I can't even fingerbang you without you healing sexily? Fuck this, and fuck you.
Y'all come in here, and you say you love me, and you want me, and I'm Yours, but you really just want to fuck me and own me and use my fucking blood. Fuck THAT. Fuck you, and go tell everybody fuck them too. I am not Anybody's, and not one of you motherfuckers knows the first THING about love..."
Bill shows up, of course, and she just Sookies right the hell out.
Sookie: "For FUCK'S SAKE."
Bill: "I'm not here for you, I'm here for him."
Ben: "If You're Bill Compton, I have to beat Your ass for my girlfriend. I may kill You."
Bill: "Already did. Didn't help. As your Maker, I command you to come with me."
Ben goes with him, eyes and shirt and abs still a-flutter, and a somewhat abashed Sookie puts her bomb away, wondering how this -- so quickly -- became not about her.
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
She does not like the feeling. Not one bit.
CASTLE COMPTON
Alone, Jessica is horrified to see Andy driving up, shotgun cocked and in hand. The door's still hanging open, so he... Oh, they're just right there. Jessica watches from a doorway as he discovers his children, dead everywhere. He whispers to them, to no avail. Blood streams down Jess's face.
When she zooms out, he pulls it together and draws -- "Vampire Bill, come in here and answer for your crimes!" -- but he's distracted by the one that lived. One of them lived! She doesn't have a name, but she has a fairy pulse and that's a start.
SEWERS
Tara: "So I got Pam took by the LAVTF."
Eric: "Then come on."
They immediately offer themselves up to the guys, for a reason that I'm sure will be explained. I'm not sure it will be a great plan -- Eric's plans have been steadily losing him credit -- but at least Tara will have something to do, I guess.
CAMP, ANNA
Pam is none too impressed by the vampire experimentation going on -- a giant hamster wheel turning at vampzoom speeds; fangs yanked out at the root; super-fast fucking of people on science gurneys, ugh -- but her aplomb is intact and back to being charming. Also her hair looks amazing. For once, it hasn't been true in a while, but for once I'm very comforted by Pam's overall outlook on life, and how everything is stupid.
BURRELL MANSION
Sarah: "That sucks how your daughter is a vampire and we put her in a concentration camp, but I guess whatever."
Gov: "Not so fast. I am reconsidering that last part of it."
Sarah: "Nah, forget it. It's been ten whole minutes. Look. My sister got Turned. My husband got Turned. It would literally tear my brain apart to consider the fact that any part of them is left, and therefore we do not consider that."
Gov: "And yet I'm going to go check on my daughter now."
Sarah goes off the rails pretty impressively at this point.
Sarah: "Or, why don't we have a baby?"
Gov: "Are you serious right now? Do you not understand... Anything?"
Sarah: "You loved having a kid! Let's get another one. All you have to do is put a ring on it."
Gov: "I can't replace my child like that. I can't just... You saw how it worked out for Russell and Steve when they got that puppy."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Sarah: "Put a ring on it, put a baby in it, call it a fucking day. You told me -- when I brought you my money and my connections and my resources and my million Jesus freaks and my excellent sex abilities -- that nothing would ever tear us apart."
Gov: "I didn't mean literally, shit. I'll be back in five."
Sarah: "But I am wearing awesome lingerie!"
She is. She really is. But it's sad to see her flash it at him, when he's headed out the door. Oh, Sarah. I always wanted so much more for you. On the other hand, why fix what works? This is more of a "time and place" issue, not a "change your strategy" issue. Nine out of ten, sudden lingerie is exactly what a situation requires.
COMPTON LABS
Ben: "What even is this shit? What is going on? Why can you command me?"
Bill: "I am your Mommy."
What he says is so much more embarrassing than that, don't worry about it. It's very Bill, the hallmark of Bill is how Bill he is all the time. He puts his arms around Ben and plugs him with some kind of syringe, and then we do a little time-travel to a mortifying Faerie Tyme where everything was just faeries and topknots and beards and man-skirts and dancing around fires and shirts weren't invented yet and whatever.
I won't complain. Valar dohaeris.
3500 BCE
Wig Ben: "How is our baby? How is its wig?"
Wig Wife: "We will call her Ayla and she will invent fire, the wheel, dishwashing, animal husbandry, the doggie style, and farming. Nice skirt btw."
Later that night, Ben was getting one fairy jug of water from the river, and then Lilith showed up and zoomed all around him, weirding him out. It was just 3500 BCE so he didn’t know about vampires. We only recently found out about those.
She tore off his fairy skirt with vampire speed!
Then he fucked her standing up, and they both came after like five thrusts because everything was magic back then, and because back then we didn't have time for any effin' and jeffin' because sabretoothed tigers were always around, waiting for you to drop your guard.
Then she turned him into a vampire, and he wasn't expecting that part either. All in all, it was one of the more surprising sequences of things to happen to him that year. And it wasn't even done happening yet!
NOW
Ben: "It was awesome having sex with you that one time for two seconds. But at the end, that part was not great. Or the subsequent parts."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Bill: "On the other hand, now I get to have your faerie blood for science, which turns it back around the other way."
Ben: "You know I'm with Sookie now though, right?"
Midichlorians: "While you were saying that we turned into regular blood, sorry."
JASON'S HOUSE
Jason: "Hi, Sarah. Why are you on my lawn?"
Sarah: "Just dropped by. How's it going? I am a crazy person in a cult. I have a boyfriend."
Jason: "Well, that's good. Your last husband turned out to be a gay vampire."
Sarah: "Can I save your soul by any chance?"
Jason: "What's this now? I... Recently had a head trauma so this might be making more sense than I think."
Sarah: "I'm very sorry about how our relationship ended. With me shooting you and all."
Jason: "I do honestly think you're a nice person, under being insane and a huge racist, but I'm afraid I can no longer sublimate in that fashion."
Sarah: "I have been with you, a gay guy, and an old guy. That's it."
Jason: "I am only one of those."
Sarah: "I have never felt more holy than when I was with you. And I truly believe God wants me to fuck you."
I mean. Of course, cut immediately to him fucking her. Even the music is like, "Isn't this so stupid? Aren't you enjoying it, though?"
Sarah: "God is very into this!"
Jason: "I really needed to feel heterosexual right now! Because of other stuff going on in my life!"
BTPDHQ
Andy grabs some vampire blood from evidence, and pours it down his remaining daughter's throat. There are a million ways that shit could go wrong, but you want it to work out because he's Andy: However shitty he's been over the years, he's more than bought it back and now he is only love.
THE UNFRIENDLY POSSUM
Is the name of the werewolf bar Alcide ends up. An interchangeable bitch prostitute gives him the usual business the ladies like to give him. The interestingest part is when she's like, "But I absolutely will not donkey show with you. We both have to be wolves if you want to fuck me as a wolf." Which is like, the best thing the were/shifter worldbuilding has ever come up with. That's brilliant. If Raccoona would just say like one thing that awesome, all would be forgiven.
Daddy Herveaux finally takes mercy on his son -- who I guess couldn't smell him in this shithole -- and explains that nobody in small towns likes wolves from big towns, because werewolves are the worst. Even if that "big town" is Shreveport. Then Alcide gets some kind of daddy issues temper explosion on him, and throws money at him, and whatever. Werewolves: Don't want 'em, don't need 'em. Don't need 'em in my life. They are only grossness. And I resent too that looking at Joe Mangianello -- formerly the most exciting thing you can do with your eyeballs -- now comes with the sinking feeling of here come some tits and hollers.
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Plus, is that everybody? Eric and Tara, Pam and Nora, and now Jessica? Jeez. You'd think God would be more clairvoyant than "about thirty-six hours from now."
Jason runs out and one of the SWAT guys puts his hand firmly on Jason's pec in a very odd way, and we learn that Sarah called the LAVTF before coming out to deliver her little "well well well" speech, which is very Sarah of her to do. As is this: "My body is a fucking temple and you have defiled it with your vampire-loving pecker!"
You know how we were talking about how cool it would be to play Jessica, and get to dress up in those outfits all the time and be everybody's favorite? I think probably showing up to work and your work is to be Sarah Newlin is like, the best possible way to start a day. Camp's clearly enjoying the shit out of life this season. Most people I would be weirded out by the cartooniness but not with her, oh no. It's riveting.
ERIC
Is one of four vampires put into the gas chamber, all shiny and pretty with the red X's on the floor. He takes the situation in, shows no fear, snottily picks an X to stand on, and waits for the others to follow suit. Windows open up and drop three blue bouncing handballs, and the one that doesn't grab one in time gets staked by a surprise gun. Back to the X's, and then there are two, Eric and a lady. Other panels open up in the walls, and they're presented with guns; Eric takes the lady out and then, staring around, snaps his fangs back in.
It's a very efficient, fairly lovely scene. His face carries it, as usual, but the whole way of just the vampires immediately grasping the situation with their super-zoom reflexes and then fighting to the death in one second is a really neat idea. Like for vamps, you don't need a whole Hunger Games because they live so fast it takes just no time at all. Their entire existence is the Hunger Games: This is the whole of Eric's centuries of life, abstracted down to a few graceful movements.
He's released into Gen Pop, CB 2, and immediately scares all the other vampires yelling about finding Pam. Like, they run to the corners and the walls, away from the tables and chairs in this tiny room, and won't look at him.
PAM
Consents to therapy only when the guy explains that there are literal guns pointed at her head, but freaks once she realizes that's what it is.
Pam: "Wait, is this therapy? Fuck that. Put me in the fucking room."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Doc: "You're a Level One, that's for L3s. We're interested in your mind, not your body."
Pam: "Any other incentives?"
Doc: "I can feed you, via the living donor program or LDP, if I like your answers."
Pam: "Fine. LDP. Female, please."
Somchai: "I'm Somchai. Objectify me whenever you feel like it."
Pam: "I could get to like this."
Doc: "Talk to me about what value you place on life."
Pam: "Human or vampire. If human, who's the human?"
Doc: "Let's say... Me."
Pam: "None whatsoever. Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated. You are food, nothing else. Not even good food, you reek of tuna fish. And I care more about the life of that tuna you ate than I care about you."
Doc: "You think you're being a smart-ass but really that's exactly the kind of shit I'm looking for. You forgot where you are. Have some Somchai."
She makes sure he's watching. She makes sure he loves it.
MERLOTTE'S
Lafayette: "Hey, did you know you work here?"
Sookie: "Whatever. Listen, remember that spirit thing that appeared out of thin air in my bathroom? Turns out it wasn't a spirit, it was a faerie vampire trying to break through a portal from another dimension."
Lafayette: "Let me put down my drink and listen to what you are saying to me."
Sookie: "So yeah, he said he loved me, and I weirdly kind of believe him."
Lala: "Oh, Miss Ma'am. You do find the good in everybody. But this time, no."
Sookie: "Here's the thing nobody remembers about me. I have known the truth, about everything, my entire life. It crippled me. Until vampires, I was cursed. But since vampires, all that happens is lies, all the time. So I need to go back to pre-Bill, I need a hard reset. I need to find my way back to the truth."
Lala: "Whatever you need."
MEANWHILE
Terry has called up an old war-buddy who is irritated to be dealing with Terry, and then -- right after you realize what's about to happen; this episode leaves no puppies unkicked -- he offers to pay the guy to kill him. Between the regular guilt and PTSD, then the smoke monster, and then having to kill Patrick on top of it, Terry is done. His beautiful smile when he makes the offer, that fades when Arlene smells something in the air and comes over to check on them, is just the saddest thing.
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
I hated the smoke monster so much I didn't even think about how obviously there would be consequences for that last part. I remember thinking at the time, he won't do it, he won't do it, and being shocked that he actually did it -- that he, or the show, didn't find a better way at the last second -- but now it's all horribly clear what and how and why.
Justin: "So she knows you killed Patrick Devins in this restaurant?"
Terry: "She'd prefer to ignore it, but that's not a possibility."
Justin: "Okay. I'll do it, but I won't take your money."
Terry: "Give me a couple days to get my affairs in order, and don't let me know it's coming."
Justin: "Okay, because I love you and I can see in your eyes what is happening there."
FT BELLEFLEUR
Holly kneels by Andy, to comfort him while he watches his daughter sleep.
Holly: "But Jessica's the nicest one!"
Andy: "Yeah, but she killed my kids, Holly."
Holly: "I know. There aren't any words."
Andy: "She said Bill was taking their blood, for experiments. So I will kill him now."
Holly: "No, he will kill you. That's how this ends. And that's dumb. And then that poor little faerie girl there will have zero people -- whereas yesterday when she was a baby, she had five."
Andy agrees, and then falls down to cry when Holly calls off the search party: "As far as anyone's gonna know, those girls went back to their mama. And we're gonna get you through this." I can't see how this will turn out horrible, but the Bellefleurs are so screwed this week there's still some kind of doom, even over Holly's sweetness.
NICOLE
Is not feeling it, this morning. Hung over, bad-idea sex. Hating the shifter life because it is running around and almost dying all the time. And having to hang out with sucky Sam Merlotte. Turns out being a minority is not great.
JESSICA
Runs to Tara, weeping. They've both played the racquetball game, and won. I'm glad we didn't have to see that.
Jessica: "Where even are we?"
Tara: "Hell."
Jessica: "I knew it. Steve Newlin's ex [Ha! Lean into that, bitch!] said I was a demon whore and I..."
Tara: "That was a metaphor. What is going on with you?"
Jessica: "I ate four faeries and I am totes high. Fucked up, but also fuuuucked uuuup."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Tara takes her aside -- the softest, strongest, greatest version of Tara -- and holds her hand while she flips out. It's been so long since Tara got to do this -- be the BFF to a person absolutely going down in flames -- that you forget how hard she looks at their faces. How she hurts for them.
Jessica: "Do you believe in the devil?"
Tara: "No, but my mom sure did. She'd see the Devil in everything, the TV and the rock and roll and in your heart..."
Jessica: "It never once occurred to me how close our upbringings were. That is a mess. But also, what if Godric was right the whole time? How do we even know we're worthy of survival?"
Tara: "Well, that's a dead end."
Jessica: "This hunger in me. It's never going away."
Tara: "No, honey. We both know that."
PAM
Pam: "The longer vampires nest together the stronger the bond becomes... But it's not a real bond. Split up a nest one night, they'll be staking each other the ."
Doc: "So we don't have to worry about playing musical chairs with the barracks all the time, to keep them from forming relationships?"
Pam: "I don't give a fuck what you worry about. But yeah, those worries would be unfounded."
She constructs the most elaborate web around him, using nothing but her Pamness. She reclines, revels in being a quisling, telling tales out of school, leaving nothing out. She lounges. And every time she looks at his face, he's more into it. Transference and counter-transference, he's thinking. This one's almost real. He loves her humor, her bratty insouciance, her hearty acceptance of her own selfishness. It's bracing.
Doc: "So then under ordinary circumstances, you feel no remorse when you kill another vampire? Are you speaking for yourself or for all vampires?"
Pam: "I like to think of myself as especially unremorseful. But I doubt any of us gives a fuck."
Doc: "Except for your Maker. Tell me about your Maker, Pam. What was his or her name?"
Pam: "He's not my Maker anymore, he Released me, so it doesn't matter."
Doc: "How does that work?"
Pam: "You say the words and it's done."
Doc: "Just like that? Did you have any idea it was coming? What did it feel like?"
The performance -- which is genius throughout the scene, just building layers on layers -- finally shifts into turbo: She sits up on the couch, grinning joyfully right into his eyes. Absolutely this scene, this episode, is the best acting she's ever turned in. She's like that goddess from Fangtasia! we first met, that told sweet little Jason to go the fuck home.
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
"I feel ... nothing. You humans just fucking love your pain, don't you? Being in it. You even consider it a virtue. Cry the most at a funeral, you must be the best person. You promise to never forget each other, you promise to feel the sting of loss forever... To you, forever is just the blink of an eye. Your lives are pathetically brief. When we say forever, we have to mean it. So we move past our pain, we heal, we move on. Because pain is a worthless emotion. He was everything to me, he Released me, it hurt, I'm over it. He's nobody."
He doesn't believe her; Pam wasn't hungry anymore anyway.
SHIFTER CRAP
Sam stops Nicole from calling her parents, because that is so dumb even Sam knows it's dumb, but then on a larger scale of dumbness they are staying in the same motel as Daddy Herveaux, so he sees their whole fight go down while he's getting ice for himself and his guest, the Unfriendly Possum bitch.
GEN POP F
Jess is in no mood for her jail blood, and a million hissing sisters come running up at a sign of weakness, so a random Claire Forlani/Anna Waronker kind of lady steps in to help Tara defend her, and they all run away from the lady, and then the lady is like, "Guess you owe me." Which I guess we're doing that whole caged heat thing, fine.
Willa is not a Gen Pop Vamper, she's a VIP. (VIV.) She and Tara call out to each other, and then suddenly Willa's getting sexually harassed by her gross guard, who tells her Daddy can't save her, so that's another thing that is gross.
JASON
Leaves a voicemail for Sookie about how he messed things up with Jess and he needs to make it right, and just as you're thinking, "You dumb fool, this ain't a date gone awry," you realize where he's headed: Into the LAVTF Recruitment Center. That is some hot romance right there. Jason is so great right now. Even if he thinks Niall is babysitting her, due to not remembering anything that happened last week except having dream sex with her boyfriend.
STACK HOUSE
After a fair amount of sass from Lafayette -- and, awesomely, a psychic assist from Sookie herself -- the Stackhouses reluctantly show up to explain themselves, through a flashback.
KITCHEN
Warlow: "Are you not listening? Sookie's a faerie, her blood's royal. Like mine. Didn't you ever wonder why she could read your minds?"
Michelle: "I just thought she was weird, like her grandfather."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.
Corbett: "Be nice. You're always talking shit about my dad."
Warlow: "No, she's the opposite. She's amazing. Also, my child bride. Your ancestor John Stackhouse made a contract with me for the first female Fae of his clan. I'm a prince, Sookie gets to be a princess, it's how our tribe has always done it since Skyrim Tymes."
Corbett: "No, I follow you. It's the part where you keep saying you wanna turn her into a vampire that sounds crazy. Because of course there is no such thing."
Warlow pops fang at them briefly, which shuts them up. Also briefly.
Warlow: "Your daughter will never die. She'll never have to fear death. You won't have to fear that for her. I will protect her forever..."
Corbett: "No, get the fuck out. This is too much, it's too weird. Too many uncool things."
Warlow: "Fine, but when she's of age I'll be back."
In lieu of putting the whole kingdom to sleep, or growing thorny hedges around the house, or burning every spindle of every spinning wheel in Reynard Parish, Corbett just tosses his daughter in the way back seat of the car and heads off to kill her. Gratifyingly, Michelle is not down with this plan. Not that her response to it is comforting exactly.
Michelle: "But she could live forever! That's not so bad."
Corbett: "You saw how sexy and beautiful and immortal and charming and British that guy was. I love our daughter too much for her to have all that and also be a princess."
Michelle: "I guess I see your point. But for my one second of actual parenting I've ever done, that was pretty solid."
HERE
Corbett jumps into Lala so we can see some acting from Nelsan Ellis finally this season.
Sookie: "Corbett? You were the good one. You were the one that liked me."
Lalabett: "I did love ya, sweetie."
Sookie: "But you were going to fully kill me? That's a certain kind of not-love love. That's Nasty Christmas."
Lalabett: "He's gotten to you, hasn't he? He told you he loved you and you fell for it."
Sookie: "Uh, clearly you do not get me at all. I only like guys that piss me off. Even with Bill that stuff was mostly annoying -- I liked him because of the silence. The taking, not the giving. Also, I'm way smarter than..."
Lalabett: "-- Too late, I'm a fucking crazy ghost."
Sookie and Warlow's standoff is interrupted by Bill Compton, who commands his vampire son to come with him and give him some faerie blood. After a lot of wig-wearing flashbacks, we learn that we already knew everything about how Lilith turned Warlow to begin with, but not the part where the thing he did -- after killing everybody but Baby Niall, to continue the Fae royal line -- was to go kill Lilith the first time around. It's a painful reunion for them both, but ultimately screaming about it calms them down. Warlow is still into the extinction of vampires, though, and Bill is still into the extinction of faeries if that's what it takes.
Speaking of, there's one Bellefleur daughter left! Oh, thank goodness. Holly calms Andy down from his righteous revenge anger, but that's only one bad thing that is going on with the Bellefleur Boys: Terry has reached his breaking point after killing Patrick last year, and hires another of their old war buddies to kill him when he least expects it. Todd Lowe is heartbreaking in a way we haven't seen in a while, and even Arlene's pretty sympathetic with her complete inability to notice what he's planning.
After a fight with Governor Burrell about the fate of his vampire daughter, Sarah storms all the way over to Jason's house, where -- in part because of his Ben-related masculinity issues -- they fuck like crazy. But Jessica, after a totally squicky blood-drunk attempt at sleeping with Bill -- shows up fae wasted and losing her mind. After a quick fight with Sarah, she gets carted away by the LAVTF. To whom, meanwhile, Eric and Tara have also given themselves up for reasons I don't quite understand -- meaning that Bill's vision of the future has already come to pass. Oh, and then having remembered that he's not a racist and he's maybe in love with Jessica, Jason joins the LAVTF himself, undercover.
Pam spends the day regaling a Nazi psychiatrist with the secrets of vampirehood -- a truly fabulous performance, hilarious and heartbreaking by turns -- but in the end Sarah and Steve locks her into a duel to the death with Eric. Which suits the Governor just fine, considering that's exactly the kind of father/daughter horror Eric served him up last week. (Willa's in a supermax private cell, getting menaced by her guard, but that's an ickiness that probably won't last too long once Godric's kids get themselves out of this mess.)
Something with Alcide yelling at his dad, and then his dad sees Sam and Nicole yelling at each other, and it's all very yelly. But I guess now the Shreveport Pack is back on the trail to finding Emma, and I guess that's still a storyline that is going on.
Sookie, though. Hoo boy. Left alone with no Ben and no Bill and nobody to blow up, she focuses on the last thing Ben told her: That he killed her parents that night because they were going to kill her. Ridiculous, right? Well, Lala agrees to a séance to figure that out -- after a beautiful speech where she reminds us that the Great Revelation took her psychic ass from knowing everything all of the time to never knowing anything at any time and being constantly lied to -- and it turns out, he was telling the truth.
That night at the bridge, the Stackhouses were coming off a very scary meeting with a moderately charming Warlow, who had just notified them that: Sookie is a faerie, they are both royalty, he was promised her in marriage by an ancestor because she's the first female Brigant born in five thousand years or something, and that part of this deal is that he's going to turn her into a vampire so she'll be immortal and he won't have to be lonely ever again. It's this last part that is the deal breaker, so in true Sleeping Beauty fashion, Corbett decided to kill her that very night.
Sookie gets very Sookie about this, because she's not that dumb that she would fall for Ben's crap (while even she acknowledges that she has somewhat fallen for Ben's crap), but then Corbett jumps into Lafayette's body and knocks her ass out and takes her down to the river and drowns her, finishing what he started. Ghosts are the worst!
Week: All the daughters fight all the daddies, round two. Bill has a fight with Lilith about how terrible everybody is doing, and that's when you realize Bill Compton is the only person left on the show who can even help anybody, so ... that's not good.