Long Island: Dover Court

MPDP appears in jeans and a tie-dyed tank top with some colourful sparkly bits on it. She says they're in Rockville Center on Long Island. She says it's a forty-minute train ride from Manhattan, and that she's still waiting for the designers to show up. We see Vern, Edward, and Amy Wynn come out of the train station. Amy Wynn and Vern walk arm-in-arm, with Edward alongside, all three of them laughing. I realize this is the room Vern was on his way to do when I interviewed him in July.

We see the pair of homeowners with their all their kids, playing basketball in the street. Miles and Tara want their guest bedroom made over into a bedroom for their son, Quinn, who's either fifteen months old (if Vern's talking about him), or a year and a half (if you ask his mother). I don't know. Their neighbours, Ken and Jeanette want their master bedroom redone. It's a large room, with the walls covered in fussy, flowery wallpaper. There's a large bed -- looks like it's king-sized -- with an extremely ornate gold headboard. I think it's wood with an incredibly gold-toned finish on it. The floor is hardwood in a medium brown colour, with a beige area rug over it. There's a small, narrow window on one side of the bed that, combined with the ugly and obtrusive air-conditioning unit on the wall on the other side of the bed, makes that whole wall look kind of off. The bedding is a pale, icy-green damask with a coordinating bedskirt. There's an old upholstered chair with kind of a funky wing-chair shape to it, in a yellowy-green diamond-patterned fabric. On the wall opposite the end of the bed is a tall chest of drawers in a light brown wood tone. There are a couple of other small storage pieces in the room in the same finish. The style of that furniture is very, very plain, in stark contrast to the fussiness of the headboard and most of the tchotchkes. Ken says they tried to work on one wall to see if they could subdue the wallpaper somewhat. That wall looks like it has some kind of watery white glaze over it. It's no better that way. They weren't thrilled with the outcome and gave up and moved on to other rooms. Jeanette says that they need some kind of style or direction; they have none. She says she's not a big fan of the "Asian influence"; she doesn't want a bright red room with black furniture. Ken says it took them forever to buy furniture, and that it was a big ordeal. They were very excited about finally doing that, but Ken says it still didn't establish any direction. They're really excited about having someone come in who's got an actual game plan.

The camera's on Quinn (who's an adorable redheaded toddler), walking in front of his mother and father. What a cutie pie. They want their guest room made over into a bedroom for Quinn. Right now, it's got off-white walls, orangey-toned hardwood strip flooring, a large built-in storage unit with shelves and drawers and a deep counter, painted white. There's a little white desk at one end of the built-in. The furniture in the room is mostly orangey-toned knotty pine. There are three windows covered with dark blue roman blinds. There's also a white bentwood rocking chair. The bed has a red, white, and blue patchwork quilt on it. All the trim is painted white. It's a pleasant enough room; it's just not kid-oriented. Tara and Miles are expecting their second child, so they're going to need the nursery. They want this room to be more special for Quinn, and to be a safe room, but still fun. Tara says they need some colour in the room, and possibly a new bed. Quinn's never had a bed before. They're very excited.

Key swap. Jeanette and Miles have torn the sleeves off their Trading Spaces shirts. MPDP asks whether they have an issue with the shirts. Ken, sleeves intact, proudly announces that he plays by the rules. MPDP says she knows Ken is going to be her favourite teammate. She asks him what the rules are. Ken: "The rules are: go into each other's house, make a big mess, and make believe you like it at the end!" Hee! This show is off to a promising start. I like it when the homeowners aren't afraid to express some personality. Everyone laughs, and MPDP makes that game-show buzzer sound, telling him he's wrong. She recites all the real rules.

Ken and Jeanette find Vern looking at the fussy, bed-and-breakfast-y tchotchkes in the room. He greets them, and then picks up a basket adorned with fake daisies and roses and tulle and I don't know what-all, and asks, "Oh my gosh, has anything in the world ever said less 'this is a room for a little boy' than this?" Ken thinks it screams "mother-in-law." Or "mother-of-the-bride," Vern thinks. He says they are going to do a "planes, trains, and automobiles" theme, and that he has some great ideas, but wants to know what their thoughts are. Jeanette really thinks they need a new bed. Vern agrees. Ken thinks they need some fun colours, and to make the room more interactive, so that Quinn will want to spend time in there. Vern says they're doing a custom racing car twin bed with real working headlights. There will be an 8' x 8' suspended track around the top of the room upon which there will be a toy train. They'll also give him some more storage for toys. Vern hands them some tchotchkes, grabs "Mr. Bunny," and they start clearing the room. MPDP dances around with the headboard for about half the sequence. That thing is either really light or she's freakishly strong.

When Miles and Tara arrive, Edward is pretending to measure the window. Edward says that because Tara's expecting, he's going to try to take it easy on her, but that means Miles has got to pick up the slack. He asks for their input on the room. Tara says that they have to change the walls; gesturing to the whitewashed one, she says she doesn't know what they did over there. Edward assures them that they'll be addressing all the walls. Tara thinks some kind of romantic aura is what their neighbours are after. Edward says that he wants to bring the outdoors in; do a crisp, clean, contrast of colours; give Ken and Jeanette some drama; move the bed; and give them an entertainment centre. He also wants to give them some seating where the bed is now. They clear the room.

Vern has five cans of paint. Suddenly I feel like I'm in one of Frank's paint reveals. But I have faith. They joke about the colours being fuchsia, pink, or mauve. He shows the main wall colour, which is a fresh, light blue colour with just a hint of grey undertone, so it's not too sweet. There are going to be horizontal stripes around the lower part of the room in a dark blue paint, which he shows them. He also says the built-ins need touching up, so he's got white paint for that. Then he's got a quart can of a bright red, which I guess is an accent colour. Ken thinks they're going to be there all week.

The bumper back into the show is Miles holding Quinn up to the basketball net. Quinn's got a basketball, but I'm not sure if he knows what's expected of him here. Too cute. Miles and Tara are taping up baseboard when Edward comes over to discuss the wallpaper with them. He considered taking it down, but the walls underneath are plaster. He's concerned that, by painting over the wallpaper, they've really adhered the paper to the wall, and that if they try to steam it all down, it will take half the wall with it and they'd be there a week. I am adamantly in favour of removing wallpaper, but having been through exactly this nightmare myself, he definitely made the right call in this case. I just wish I could have painted over my wallpaper.

Ken and Jeanette are taping up Vern's room; Ken wonders if they're doing the baseboards. Vern says he would love to, because it would be nice to give them a freshly painted room, but he's not sure if they'll have time. They definitely have enough supplies and paint, but he wants to see how they do time-wise. Ken says, "We don't need to sleep tonight anyway." Vern stops painting and looks at him: "What? You weren't going to, anyway!" He laughs. But you know he's not kidding.

Edward pours some mint-coloured primer into a tray. Tara: "Wow." Edward says that as soon as Tara sees the wall colour, she's going to have to get out of there, because she can't be in there while they're painting. He shows them the wall colour, which is a vivid olive green. Tara loves it. Miles says, "It is not red." Which I guess he knows Jeanette didn't want.

Vern and Jeanette are outside marking wood with the pattern for the platform of a train. Vern says he needs some string, but wasn't able to find any; he asks whether she found a substitute; Jeanette pulls out some dental floss. Vern: "Good oral hygiene!"

Miles and Edward are painting the primer on the wallpaper. Goodbye, fugly wallpaper. Miles wants to know why Edward is planning to paint the side tables, when he's planning to whitewash the highboy. Edward explains that the side tables are going to be incorporated into the entertainment centre Amy Wynn is making, and since that will be painted a solid colour, the side tables need to be, too. That doesn't really explain why they're whitewashing the highboy, though, and not painting it. Whatever. Miles says he's not challenging Edward, but that he knows their neighbours weren't keen on painting the furniture. Edward: "They didn't tell me." He and Miles laugh.

Vern hammers in a nail to do the string-and-pencil trick in order to draw a radius. Only in this case it's a pencil and dental floss. He asks Jeanette if that's her own dental floss, or whether she stole it. She says she stole it from Miles and Tara's cabinet, and that there's not much left. Vern says that if their teeth are rotting out year, they'll know whom to blame. Jeanette says she'll buy them some.

Tara is outside priming the furniture. MPDP says she knows that Tara didn't want this to happen. She adds, "But he's not painting the highboy." Tara says that they're whitewashing it. Tara says she personally likes the idea of painting the furniture; she just doesn't think Ken and Jeanette are going to like it.

Vern shows Jeanette how to use the pencil to mark the line in the necessary place.

MPDP tries to convince Tara that when they see the room all put together, it will make a difference. Tara does think it will all come together nicely.

Vern leaves Jeanette to mark the measurements for the platform, saying, "I have faith." Jeanette says she doesn't: "That's what's so scary."

Tara and MPDP debate whether Ken and Jeanette will be able to get as attached to the new look of the furniture as they were to the old one. Tara says she'll just tell them MPDP painted them. MPDP: "Well, you know, that's all right, 'cause I get to leave town."

Vern and Ken are cutting out eighteen-inch circles of wood that will become the wheels for the race car bed. Ken: "Sweet." Vern: "Sweeeet!" Ken: "Sweeeet!" Vern: "Find your own word!" Bwa! They crack up. Ken says it was his word way before. Vern's now found the tool that performs the task he was rigging up with the pencil and dental floss, and he draws the first wheel. He asks Ken whether he's familiar with using a jig saw. Ken says he's not, but that he'll figure it out as he goes along. Vern tells him to watch his fingers. Vern says that now that he has this tool, he doesn't have to use dental floss. Ken says that the dental floss is much more MacGyver-like. Vern laughs.

Edward's perched on the curb in front of one of the houses when Amy Wynn comes along to find out what his projects are. He's making an entertainment centre by building two bookcases to be placed on top of the two small side tables, which will be bridged by a central storage unit with a couple of shelves. They will be using some etched-glass shutters as doors on the unit. Amy Wynn says the shutters are gorgeous. He thanks her for saying so. He wants some crown molding around the top and bottom, and that's it. Amy Wynn asks whether he has any other projects. He doesn't. Amy Wynn: "Shut up! Really?" He's serious. She kind of puts her head against his shoulder a couple of times affectionately. She's thrilled. He says it's a big project. She says it is, but it's really just a bunch of boxes: "I'm on it!"