“ They're looking through a pile of Good Housekeeping magazines, since one of the homeowners is its decorating editor. They feign interest in the periodical. It's so not the reading material I can picture any of them choosing. ”
Shout-out number two for CydW -- in the same week, even.
MPDP appears (wearing a light blue V-neck T-shirt and painted-on jeans) in front of a huge old place, which I think at first is one of the houses they'll be doing, even though I know better, and realize that they always pick some local point of interest for the opening. She says they're in Syosset, New York. She's in front of Teddy Roosevelt's house. She mentions that he's the only President from Long Island, and that he used this "summer White House" as an escape from the chaos of New York City. For some reason she's swept her bangs off her forehead, but has got the wings going on big-time. I don't think so.
We see Amy Wynn (yay! And thank God!) and Gen and Vern. Gen's sitting on a wooden bench with Vern's head in her lap. They're looking through a pile of Good Housekeeping magazines, since one of the homeowners is its decorating editor. They feign interest in the periodical. It's so not the reading material I can picture any of them choosing. MPDP, perched in a rocking chair on Teddy Roosevelt's porch, quotes him, saying, "'All the resources we need are in the mind.'" She thinks the designers will agree with that, given the show's restrictions on time and money. We see a small sailboat, with all four homeowners on it. There's a life preserver that says "S.S. Trading Spaces." There's a shot of Carrie and James, who have been married for eight years. He's a lawyer; she's in market research. They're "looking for a total transformation of their 1970s kitchen." There's a shot of their kitchen, which has very dark cabinets with bevelled inset panels, white appliances (except for the dishwasher, which is almond), and a greyish, kind of mottled vinyl floor. There's a single sink in the corner between the fridge and stove. The countertops look kind of greyish. The walls look white. James says the cabinets are shot, and thinks they'd look good painted or refinished in some way to brighten up the room. Carrie says the floor couldn't be worse. James suggests that tile or wood would be nice. Carrie likes wood. She also says she likes country French: reds, yellows, greens...really warm tones. They're not looking for a really long narrow table; they just want something that can seat six. There's a shot of their tile-topped table and simple wooden chairs, which are in front of a large window (two double-hung six-over-six windows). Off to one side there's a large closet with folding louvered doors.
Susan, as mentioned, is a decorating editor, and Robert "works in textiles." Their kitchen is very large, with lots and lots of dark brown wood cupboards, a lot of counter space, a huge professional-style range, a big stainless steel fridge, a hand-hammered copper range hood, and a large island. The backsplash looks at a glance like brick, but I think it's actually subway tiles (chunky rectangular ones) in a dark brick/burgundy colour. There are a lot of Tudor-esque details on the wall and the island. The windows (also double-hung six-over-six) are covered with bifold louvered shutters. There's some very dated, yellowing, fussy pink-and-blue wallpaper. The wood trim of the room, around the doors and windows, et cetera, is a different colour than the wood cabinetry: much redder. I can't tell if it's paint or a really reddish, opaque stain, but the two really clash. There's a hardwood floor in yet a third, more orangey stain. The blond wood on the island brings a fourth wood tone into the mix. They have a fairly modern-looking glass table and wooden chairs that have upholstered seats. Robert says it's a mishmash of styles that doesn't really work. Susan says she loves light, watery colours, like aqua and turquoise. She says she's not that married to the Tudor accents, but likes the idea of the chair rail, and having the wall divided into two zones. She thinks it gives the room dimension. Robert says they'd like to see the cabinets painted, something uplifting and bright. Susan says they like clean, classic looks with a touch of new country style.
Long Island: Split Rock Road
Key swap. Susan and Robert are Team Orange; Carrie and James are Team Green. MPDP makes them prove their enthusiasm by responding more loudly when she asks them if they're ready.
On their way into their neighbours' house, Robert picks Susan up and carries her over the threshold. Newlyweds? In the introductions, MPDP mentioned how long the other couple was married, but didn't say anything about these two. Vern's meeting with Amy Wynn inside. Seems like there are no hard feelings, post-"Wake Forest: Rodney Bay." (As if either is the type to hold a grudge.) Vern is telling her he'd like to get rid of the old nasty countertops when Robert carries Susan in and sets her down. For reasons best known to her and God, Susan has seen fit to girdle her Trading Spaces shirt with a wide, asymmetrical red leather belt. (Bear in mind, she's wearing an orange TS shirt and a pink top underneath. Yikes.) Completely apart from the fruity colour combo, what's with the belt? I surmise that she was afraid of looking fat in the large shapeless shirts the show provides. There's not much utilitarian benefit to the belt, and in fact, not only does it look silly and vain, but given that the participants all have to wear microphone packs at the back of their waists, it just all looks ridiculously bunchy. Here's a tip for aspiring HOs: just tie the damn shirt at your waist, like most people do, or let it hang. Even better, worry more about doing a good job than how you look. Then we won't be forced to mock you. I find people who groom themselves excessively to do manual labour or messy work to be inherently laughable, as if they either haven't a clue what real work involves, or don't intend to do any. Either way: not impressive.
Anyway. Moving along. They all greet each other, and Robert says to Vern, "I heard you're going to bring me to my knees later." Yes, apropos of nothing. Okay. Vern says they'll all be on their knees. Robert says they're ready for it. Vern tells them that Amy Wynn is going to make a new countertop for them, and the grey floor is outta there. They'll be putting down a parquet floor in two shades, sort of a chestnut and then a lighter shade. Robert thinks that will be gorgeous. Vern says they will be painting the room and the cabinets, putting new hardware on the cabinets, and adding new furniture and new lighting. Robert seems very enthusiastic about it all. They unload the room.
Long Island: Split Rock Road
“ Amy Wynn arrives, saying, 'The doctor is here.' No doubt many viewers are suddenly feeling a bit under the weather. ”
Gen is steaming the old wallpaper off when Carrie and James arrive. The wallpaper on the walls looks even older than in the close-up shot in the intros. Gen giggles that she couldn't wait to get started, and that peeling wallpaper is such an addictive process. Well, it is when it comes off relatively easily. Gen says she thinks it's been on there since the house was built about a hundred years ago -- which seems somewhat unlikely, given how much else has been done to this kitchen -- and that there's nothing underneath, so that will make things go a lot faster. She tells them she thinks the kitchen is way too dark, and since they're in a wooded area, there's not a lot of light coming in. She says she doesn't want to mess with the beautiful floor or the beautiful copper range hood or the butcher block island. Gen tells them to think "clean and contemporary," and indicates that she doesn't mean along the lines of the chrome and glass table, but more like Susan's favourite necklace, which she holds up to show us; it's chunky, translucent oval discs of black, icy blue, hazel, and what Laurie would call citron, a kind of yellowy-green. Carrie recognizes "The Necklace." Gen says they'll be using those colours mixed with a "fusion of kind of Scandinavia." She says that what she likes about Scandinavian style is that it's very simple, and she thinks this room needs that. She keeps steaming while they unload the room.
Vern and Amy Wynn rip out the old countertop.
Carrie agrees with Gen that the cabinets are too dark. Gen mentions Carrie's allergies and says that she wants to keep her outside as much as possible. Gen wants to get the cupboard doors down so Carrie can work on them outside. MPDP arrives with a cordless drill/driver and says she couldn't agree more. Gen tells her there are thirty-two cabinets, and to get drilling.
After the commercial break, Vern asks for help in removing the moss-and-orange stained-glass light fixture over the table. They make jokes about trying not to break it. 'Cause it's ugly, see?
Gen sends MPDP and Carrie out to sand the first few cabinet doors while she continues removing them. James steams wallpaper.
Robert is sanding the cabinet frames as Amy Wynn takes the last piece of countertop away. Vern says when Robert's done that, they need to rip up the vinyl floor. Robert says he's excited, and I actually believe him.
James is steaming wallpaper. Amy Wynn arrives, saying, "The doctor is here." No doubt many viewers are suddenly feeling a bit under the weather. She busts several tools out of a canvas bag, mostly pry bars and claw hammers. She tells James to put down the steamer and hands him some tools. She remarks on what a mess he's making.
“ Moreover, nobody had 2" x 2"s, so Amy Wynn has to buy 2" x 4" pieces of wood, and rip them in two, and then glue them all together to make butcher block. Holy laboriousness, Batman. ”
Vern has started using a heat gun to soften the vinyl flooring and make it easier to remove. He's only done a small bit of the floor, but he can already tell it won't be an easy task. This is obviously the floor he referred to in the interview we did this summer.
Amy Wynn is planning to remove the quarter round that runs above the piece of Tudor panelling that they're calling a chair rail. James seems nervous about this, because he knows his neighbours are sensitive about the chair rail. Amy Wynn tells him the quarter round (and only the quarter round) has to come off, because of what they're doing in the wall space between the two windows.
Vern and Robert pull off a big piece of flooring as MPDP wields the heat gun. She seems really into it.
Gen has arrived. Amy Wynn explains why the removal of the quarter round is necessary -- they're going to be putting slats of wood on the walls in between the windows. Gen emphasizes that the quarter round is only coming off in the nook. James, let it go already. It's just quarter round.
Susan uses the heat gun while Robert, crouched beside her, remarks on the heat. She glances at him and says, "You are shvitzing." Robert says he hopes their neighbours are doing the same thing. Susan laughs.
James dutifully pries quarter round off the wall. Gen, lying on the island, discusses her other carpentry project with Amy Wynn. She wanted to put a butcher block on top of the table that they're building so that it would match the island; however, there was no butcher block to be found on Long Island. Moreover, nobody had 2" x 2"s, so Amy Wynn has to buy 2" x 4" pieces of wood, and rip them in two, and then glue them all together to make butcher block. Holy laboriousness, Batman. Gen says, basically, they have to build their own butcher block. Amy Wynn's all, "'We'?" Gen acknowledges her slip and then asks Amy Wynn if she's done this before. Amy Wynn, calm and confident: "No, but I know how to do it." See, and if Ty said thatwho'd believe it?
Vern and Susan are sewing. There's a toile fabric in sage and white, and sage and white gingham. Very, uh, Martha Stewart for Vern. He says their house is full of nothing but toile, and one can indeed see a chair covered in red and white toile at the side of the shot, and a valance of the same fabric reflected in the mirror. ["When I first read that sentence, I saw 'tulle' instead of 'toile' and seriously said out loud, to no one, 'Their house is full of TULLE?' But I'm okay now." -- Sars] Susan's going to sew a Roman blind out of the toile, and the gingham will be a table skirt. Vern leaves to check on Robert.