Berkeley: Prospect Street

MPDP does her patented walk towards the camera. It's the return of the flippy hair; this episode must have been filmed before her haircut. Today, she's wearing a Berkeley sweatshirt, because the homeowners in this episode, she explains, are two sorority sisters from Alpha Omicron Pi and two fraternity brothers from Delta Upsilon, all students at UC Berkeley. Actually, MPDP says "frat brothers," but every fraternity member I know gets really touchy if you say "frat" instead of "fraternity." The sorority sisters are Erica and Cheryl, and we see them making a giant sign that reads, "Go Bears!" They sit in front of the sign and do the least enthusiastic "Go Bears!" cheer ever. The fraternity brothers are Eric and Dave, and they are playing pool. The designers will be Gen and Doug (the latter of whom is wearing the famed leather pants), and the carpenter will be Ty. I'm sure the sorority girls enjoyed having Ty around, despite the fact that he could be their father.

Eric and Dave discuss their chapter room, which looks like it should be condemned. The architecture of the room, as with many Greek houses, is really nice, but let's just say it's seen better days. It has high beamed ceilings and hardwood floors, but the wood below the windows has been torn off and is crumbling, and the floor is all scratched up. Dave would like it to have "a speakeasy sort of feel" so they can hold "more social engagements there." In other words, they want it to look nice enough so that it looks like an actual room in their house, but they also want to have a place for the keg. Erica notes that when you walk into the chapter room, your feet stick to the floor. No doubt.

The girls want to redo their TV room. The room is much cleaner, but still pretty sad-looking with institutional green furniture and dusty rose wall-to-wall carpet. Erica says that the room gets a lot of use. Cheryl says that the green couches, the giant dried floral wreath, and the "hideous flower painting" all have to go. The boys agree that the room isn't very comfortable or cozy. MPDP voice-overs that there is only one thing that is off-limits. Both the girls and the boys let us know that they won't have any red in either room, since that is the color of their crosstown rivals, Stanford.

MPDP lines everyone up for the key swap. She puts on a pair of glasses to quiz them on the rules, and they're just looking at her like, "Seriously. Can we go?" My favorite part of this episode is how the kids don't seem to treat the cast members like celebrities and act very real. Normally, I'm all for respecting authority, but I think that MPDP (and later, Doug) could stand to be taken down a few notches. MPDP finally hands over the keys and the kids do another "Go Bears!" like, enough already with the cheering. MPDP is inspired to do a cheer of her own, which just makes things worse.

Eric and Dave arrive to find Gen removing the gigantic dried floral wreath from the wall. She says that they can save it for a bonfire later. That thing was hideous. Gen asks what they have in mind for the room. Dave wants less pink, because he calls the current wall color a cross between "Hello Kitty and the Care Bears." Gen totally agrees. Eric says that the room looks like the waiting room at a nursing home. Gen says that the building is "architecturally stunning," but that "this room bites." She announces that they are going to think about when the building was built, in the 1920s or '30s, and go for an Old Hollywood glamour look. The colors will be black, white, and silver. They're going to ditch the carpet, move the furniture around, and bring in some chandeliers and spotlights. The guys laugh uncomfortably, and then help Gen clear the room.

Doug enters the chapter room and looks around with an expression of utter disgust on his face. Can't say that I blame him. He decides he must be in the wrong room, and asks where the real room is. MPDP voice-overs that Doug wasn't pleased to see that his room came pre-demolished. Doug walks around and checks out his wreck of a room in disbelief. Seriously. I mean, it looks like they had a keg party in there the night before and didn't bother cleaning up, which is probably exactly what happened. Erica and Cheryl walk in and ask what happened in there. Doug says he doesn't know why Cheryl and Erica decided to switch homes with the guys, and asks what the fraternity members do around there to create such a mess. Erica says that it's usually not that bad, and Cheryl says that they obviously don't clean. Doug finds out that the room isn't usually that bad, so they must have had a party the night before. I keep thinking about the blurb in EW about this episode, where all of the designers complained about the god-awful stale-beer-and-vomit stench of the room. Doug asks the girls what they think they can accomplish in two days. Erica suggests that they mop. Doug says they'll do a little more than that. He wants to create a boutique hotel lobby in green and orange. They're going to paint the floor black if they can clean it, and paint the wainscoting brown. It's currently fake wood paneling. So. Green, brown, orange, and black. When did Doug turn into Frank? He's usually a much more monochromatic kind of guy. Doug says that, first, they need to throw all of the junk out the window. He picks up a piece of wood and tosses it. MPDP runs in and shrieks at Doug not to do it. Doug throws the sofa cushions out. MPDP says that he can't throw the couch out, but Doug intends to, and does so, despite MPDP's and Erica's protests. Oh, like he'd do it if there were people below. The couch hits the ground with a satisfying thud. MPDP and the girls are shocked, but manage to clear the room. They really do toss most of the stuff out the window, including a taxidermied deer head.

Gen tells her team that she doesn't know what's underneath the rugs. The whole house has beautiful hardwoods, so it could be that, but she's heard that the room they are in is an addition, so it might not. Dave thinks there are hardwoods, and Eric says, "Not hardwoods." Clearly, he couldn't think of another option, like linoleum or subfloor or whatever. Not that I would have known that when I was in college either. But the mystery of the floors will have to wait until after the commercial.

Gen rips up the carpet to find...not hardwoods. The padding is so stained and gross that I thought it was plywood at first. Gen rips up the padding to reveal a plywood subfloor. Gen thinks that the padding is worse than anything in the guys' house. Has she been over there? Because it's so not.

Doug tells his team that there are "vile things growing" in the room, so he hands out masks, gloves, and white safety suits for them to wear while cleaning. The girls laugh, but he's totally serious. Hey, the masks and gloves are a good idea. That place is gross. I don't know about the suits.

Gen's rug comes up pretty easily. I think she's wearing red stiletto heels. I think I liked her better barefoot.

Meanwhile, Doug's team has donned their suits, gloves, and masks to start heavy-duty cleaning.

Gen uses a roller to begin painting the ceiling black. She asks the guys if they like it, and they say they do. Do these guys have any opinions, really? Gen is happy that they like black, because she's wearing all black.

In the other room, Erica wonders if the guys are going to be mad that they tossed the deer head. Cheryl shushes her and pretends she doesn't know what Erica's talking about.

Gen tells the guys that the room looks like a women's clinic. They pretend they know what she's talking about. Gen paints a pearly white on the walls. The guys still don't really care.

Doug shows Ty his drawing of the room, which he claims was done by his nephew. It's done in crayon. Doug explains that he wants a giant orange ottoman, but he might section it so that it's green and orange. The ottomans will be five feet in diameter. It already sounds awful.

Gen demonstrates how they are going to paint silver stripes on the white walls, and then have black ceilings and floors. The guys still don't care.

Ty tells Doug that the two ottomans are two big projects, so that's all the work Doug gets. Is there a two-project limit or something? Doug says that Ty also needs to build him a banquette, and they joke that Ty likes to pronounce it "bank-wet." Ty seems to have a bug up his ass in this episode. Or maybe he just hates Doug.

The guys paint the ceiling black while Gen giggles. MPDP enters and tells the guys that they could have tidied up a bit before the TS showed up, and tells them that it's disgusting at their house. The guys have no defense. Or they don't care.

Doug wants some chairs built too. Ty asks if he wants an Eames look, and sketches one out. That's exactly what Doug wants. Doug says that the name of the room is "D U Clectic." Get it? Because the fraternity is DU and the room is eclectic. Or, maybe it stands for "Doug Uses All the Leftover Crap He Had At the End of the Season and Pretends He Planned it That Way." You be the judge.

Gen is happy that the guys are painting the ceiling so she doesn't have to. MPDP says that the girls are having a good time. Gen wants to know what they're doing. MPDP says that she can't say, but asks if the deer head is important to the guys. The guys really don't care, as usual. Gen tries to inject some drama by pretending that it was a family heirloom. These guys are so boring.

The girls show up to help Ty, who is working on the banquettes.

Gen has removed one of the Tiffany-style light fixtures from the room. MPDP asks if it was in the ceiling. Gen says that it was, and she originally thought it was a beautiful, expensive lamp. She taps it with a fingernail to show that the lamp is plastic. Gen is planning on painting a pewter finish on that light fixture and also on a chandelier, since they are both currently black.

Ty shows the girls how to use a jigsaw. Gen tells MPDP that her room is enormous, and she wonders if Doug is facing the same problems as she is, since his room is big, too. MPDP laughs that Gen got to start working about three hours before Doug did, since she didn't have to clean the room first.

Erica uses the jigsaw to cut some lumber.

Gen tells Dave that they have to cover one whole wall with curtains. She helps him use the sewing machine to start making the curtains.

The girls help Ty to cut out the circles for the ottomans. Then they put studs in between the two giant MDF circles to hold them apart. Ty nails them in place. Doug tells Ty that it looks good. Ty think it looks like a carousel. Gen asks Dave what he wants to do with the old drapes. Apparently, the old drapes have a red S on them, for some reason, so they remind him of Stanford and need to be burned. Gen is all for that, saying that they'll burn them "Lord of the Flies-style."

Doug has started painting the walls of his room lime green. Neon green. It's horrible. MPDP leads the girls in with their eyes closed, because she thinks they're going to be shocked by the paint color. Doug jokes that it's too early for the reveal, and they're in the wrong place. MPDP says that they might even like the color. Doug says that of course they will, because what's not to like? Well, the fact that it hurts your eyes to look at it, for one. The girls open their eyes, and Cheryl asks if that's really the color.

Gen tells Ty that she needs him to build a huge armoire because the room is so big. Ty is shocked that Gen wants the armoire to be over ten feet tall. The camera closes in on Gen's sketch so we can see that it says, "Don't lose this, punk!" Do you get the feeling that Ty often loses plans, and that might explain why his measurements are off so often?