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MPDP appears in jeans, and a baseball-style t-shirt with a barely visible question mark on it in some kind of translucent sparkly substance. They're in Raleigh, North Carolina. And the entire state of Texas gives a huge sigh of relief. Finally, we get a break from the cowboy/rodeo/rancher clichs that have plagued the last few eps. We see Hildi, Amy Wynn, and Frank walking toward a big statue of a bunch of founding-father types, one of whom is on a horse. Frank helps Hildi get up on the horse. Amy Wynn's already on the back end. MPDP informs us that this is Hildi's hometown. Raleighans are all, "No need to spread it around." We see a shot of Tara and Bobby, the first of today's couples, shooting some golf in their back yard. I'm just going to spare you all the golf-related metaphors in the narration. They want their playroom -- which was previously a garage -- redone. We see a high-ceilinged space crammed with so many toys and playthings it looks like a Toys 'R' Us fire sale. They want more space and less clutter. Jody and Michael want their "lacklustre bedroom" redone; they can't agree on colours. It's a large, totally bland and undecorated room: off-white walls, beige carpets, white woodwork, beige comforter...you get the picture. Sadly, it's as blah as my bedroom, which I have not yet had the time or opportunity to decorate, only mine's larger and the carpet is even uglier: tan shag. (What every Victorian house is wearing.) Ah, they have a ceiling fan. Say buh-bye to that. MPDP tells us Jody and Michael work different shifts, so the bedroom is used constantly.
Jody and Michael are perched on the bed saying that they can't agree on a colour for the room. Michael -- wearing a shirt I bet Frank would like -- wearily says it took them six months to pick out flooring for the family room, and three months to pick the furniture. Hey! I resemble that remark. Jody laughs and says it only took them ten days to get engaged. Jody says there's nothing she likes about the bedroom; they agree that it has no character or personality. It is astonishingly bland. I've been in cheap motels with more pizzazz. Jody wants something that they can both enjoy for the three nights a week they sleep together. Michael says, "Kinda like something Mission-style, kinda like Southwest...." Well, make up your mind. Those are two very different things. She shakes her head, "No. Not Southwest." He then mumbles something about "those types of colour. The muted reds, the greens...." She informs them that those are called "autumnal colours." He just kind of gives her a sideways glance and keeps rambling on about Southwest style. She keeps laughing dismissively and says that she doesn't want "chili peppers and a serape" in there. Well, that sounds more like Southwestern kitsch than true Southwestern style, but on this show, you'd be lucky to get something more like the latter than the former. Michael says he would hate to see orange or yellow in there. Don't worry, Laurie's not on this show. I guess he wouldn't have cared for the "HoJo Whorehouse" look Hildi inflicted on her last unwitting victims. Jody thinks that they need some kind of "common" colour they can both agree on. Michael thinks so, too.
We see Tara and Bobby in their playroom; Tara slides down the toy slide. It's a pretty cluttered room. I don't know how many kids they have, but it looks like they're running a day care centre in there. There's also a fridge, and a desk with a computer, and a chalkboard...but not much storage, other than some bookshelves, and almost no place to sit. It seems like they use this room for an awful lot of stuff. Because it used to be a garage, the ceiling is higher than average, and they've done the weirdest thing: instead of replacing the garage door by drywalling and laying exterior brick, they seem to have installed three normal doors, like you would use to enter a room, side by side. It really looks odd. And there are transom-style windows above each door. Not only that, but the middle door is slate blue, and the door on either side of it is white. What the Frank? There's also a short brick wall running around the bottom of the room; above that, it's drywall. Tara mentions that her husband is a painter, and that they don't usually have the opportunity to work together on such projects, so she's "ready to learn from the master." Bobby chortles heartily. He says he sees the room as a full-scale playroom, with "vines hanging from the ceiling, and a treehouse." A general "free-for-all," he wants. I bet Gen's wishing she got this job. Tara says she would not like to see the carpet there when she comes back. We get a shot of a faded-looking blue area rug over an incredibly skanky-looking, stained, cat-vomit-coloured rug. It looks like it must have been there when they used to park the car there; it looks like someone's done oil changes on it. I wouldn't want to see it when I come back, either. ["But a concrete floor in a playroom? It would be so cold, and the kids would smash their heads open if they ever fell down." -- Wing Chun] Tara says that if the room is absolutely unacceptable when they return -- although she can't imagine it -- they can just put a garage door back on, and her car will have a really nice place to sleep. I love all these people who seem to have seen the show, and yet are convinced that they won't be the ones who get the Hay Wall. It must be the same kind of logic that makes people buy lottery tickets; somehow that one-in-fourteen-million chance translates, in their minds, as "pretty good odds."
Key swap. MPDP says that she expects great things, since Bobby's a professional painter. Only she uses about four more adjectives than that to say it. She recites the rules, which must get really boring for her, and gives them the keys, and off they run. Jody and Michael are Team Green; Bobby and Tara are Team Red. Jody is wearing blue denim capri pants. I wonder if she's wearing them in honour of Frank, who's often sporting such gear.
Jody and Michael run in to see Frank first. Frank is writing on the chalkboard: "Paint, wood, crying towels." He, too, is wearing either long denim shorts or very baggy capri pants. With Frank, anything is possible. Frank's fretting about the budget. He draws some lips and says they'll be "kissing the budget." Jody says she wants the room to be more family-friendly than just kid-friendly; there's no place to sit down. Michael says that there should be a place to put your feet up. I don't know; I get the impression the adults send the children out here to keep them out of their hair. I don't get the impression Tara and Bobby want to spend a lot of time in there themselves. Frank starts drawing all kinds sketches on the board of where shelving and other items will be located; he includes a TV cabinet with a clock on top of it, citing the need for some "whimsy." He's planning to disguise the refrigerator "like a castle." Oy. Jody interjects comments about almost everything Frank says, and finally asks if they're really going to be able to do all of that in two days. Frank gives them a very affirmative "yes" and tells them to "grab something and growl." The room unloading commences.
“ Hildi asks Amy Wynn if she can clean some of the dust off the fan blades. I think she's just messing around, but I can't be sure. Amy Wynn: 'No. What do I look like?' I wouldn't ask Hildi that question, myself. She might answer it. ”
Over in the bedroom, Hildi tosses some pillows off the bed as Tara and Bobby arrive. Hildi asks what they envision for the room. Tara and Bobby comment that it's a blank slate, and make some vague remarks about colour and texture and fabrics. Clearly, they know there's not much point in suggesting anything specific; the design's already been planned. Hildi (who's not wearing all black; she's wearing tan pants and a black shirt) says they're going to add crown molding to the room, build all new furniture, get rid of the ceiling fan, and paint the walls and ceiling. Bobby says something about the ceiling fan that I can't quite catch, but it's obviously pro-fan, because Hildi says they'll talk about that later. They unload the room.
Frank says they're going to take the carpet up, but that because of budgetary reasons, they're going to paint the floor. They start ripping up the carpet. When they peel back the carpeting and pad, they decide the concrete floor is not bad at all. Frank says it will take the paint.
The bumper back into the show is Amy Wynn and Hildi climbing on the statue again, with a brief shot of the sign that says "No climbing on statues." In the bedroom, Amy Wynn is removing the ceiling fan. Bobby, painting the ceiling -- which I now see is one of those popcorn ceilings -- jokingly warns about taking it down; Amy Wynn says she thinks it might be a little too late for that. She adds that they can always put it back up. Hildi remarks that Amy Wynn's done a nice job of keeping all the pieces of the fan organized for them. She asks Amy Wynn if she can clean some of the dust off the fan blades. I think she's just messing around, but I can't be sure. Amy Wynn: "No. What do I look like?" I wouldn't ask Hildi that question, myself. She might answer it. She hems and haws and eventually says, "You look like our...carpenter?" She smiles at Amy Wynn. I'm hoping the whole ep isn't this dull.
MPDP is assisting Frank in removing the furring strips from the floor. Frank advises her to be careful not to hurt her "little hands." MPDP tells him not to worry about her and strikes a pose (why, why is she always posing?), insisting, "I'll be just fine." You can tell Frank wants to make a much snarkier remark than what he actually says, which is just something about pulling up strips. Michael takes MPDP's prybar from her and starts working on the strips. MPDP wonders why everyone's so concerned about her, and says that has never happened before. Frank explains that if he has a budgetary problem, he wants her on his side. MPDP wonders about Frank's emergency fund; she says he always has one. Frank says, in about four different ways, that his emergency budget is nonexistent.
Over in the bedroom, they're already putting the colour on the walls. What, no dramatic paint reveal? No slathering of some non-paint substance (chocolate, soap, mustard, marinara sauce, suntan lotion, hummus, cat poo) on the walls to pique our interest? Nope, they're just rolling on the very dark grey. It's sort of a warmer grey rather than a cold grey. Tara and Bobby say they love it. Hildi says the colour is called "Eiffel Tower," and that's kind of why she picked it.
“ Frank calls Jody over to show her the colours he's going to paint the three doors. Because of course they're going to be painted several colours. Never use one colour where 143 will do. ”
Frank is rolling on his colour. The walls are already a sort of pale yellow, and the colour, as it goes on, appears to be a light putty colour. But Frank says it's "sort of khaki colour." It's an oddly muted colour for Frank. He mentions that they're going to sponge over the dark blue trim around the doors and windows.
Tara and Hildi are painting; Tara solicits tips from Bobby (the master). Tara seems to be a complete novice at painting; even Hildi -- who normally seems to avoid painting at all costs -- looks expert in comparison. Bobby guides Tara's hands, saying, "Up and down...up and down...." Tara says something I can't make out (God, I miss closed captioning) and Bobby laughs. Hildi says, "I'll take some of that." Advice? Bobby's physical guidance? I dunno.
Jody and Michael tape and paint. Jody frets about whether they're going to get everything done. Michael assures her that they will, and that they're going to be able to go out for dinner the day. She thinks it's too much to do. He says it's easy. He's up on a stepladder trying to put some tape on a spot that's more or less out of reach. His knee is in some kind of brace, and I'm a little worried for his footing.
Tara and Bobby are painting. They like they colour and they think Jody and Michael will like it, too. MPDP appears to tell them they picked the right room to have someone else do the work on. They all chuckle about that.
Outside, Amy Wynn's hanging on a tire swing when Hildi comes up with her carpentry projects. Amy Wynn asks for a push, but Hildi gets her to stop, saying she can't believe Frank doesn't have Amy Wynn busy. Hildi tries to steady her so that Amy Wynn isn't twirling around on her and finally Amy just grabs hold of Hildi so she can stabilize herself. Hildi wants Amy Wynn to build a bed, two chairs, and two night tables. The bed has a huge high headboard with a high shelf above the pillow area (high enough to sit up in bed without bonking your head). There are shallow vertical supports that project forward on either side of the headboard, making it kind of boxy. The two chairs are similarly boxy; Hildi will be making cushions to put in there. She can't find her night table drawings at the moment.
Frank calls Jody over to show her the colours he's going to paint the three doors. Because of course they're going to be painted several colours. Never use one colour where 143 will do. He slaps some light green on the right-hand door; some lighter blue on the slate blue one in the middle, and some Easter egg purple on the left-hand door. As far as I can tell, only the door in the middle has a door handle on it; the other two doors are functioning as walls. Still looks very weird to me.