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MPDP stands on a manmade waterfall in Natalie Maines's back yard and welcomes us to the heart of Texas. MPDP is wearing leather pants, which seems kind of silly and not the best outfit for painting and such, but whatever. She's also wearing a tight brown t-shirt that says, "Wanted." I guess this is her outlaw cowboy outfit. MPDP talks about all of the awards that Natalie Maines has won. They seem to be avoiding mentioning the words "Dixie Chicks" and I wonder what that's about. I'm not like a huge fan of the Dixie Chicks, but I'm familiar with them, and I think Natalie is my favorite one, because she's short and stocky and the other two are tall and willowy, and yet she kicks ass. I just think it would get annoying having to stand on-stage every night to the other two, and appear in photographs to them all of the time. Also, she has a great voice.
MPDP introduces the designers, Vern and Hildi, and the carpenter, Ty. They lounge around poolside, holding Natalie's Grammy awards. They give faux-acceptance speeches. Ty says he'd like to thank Vern and Hildi for making him suffer for another year. I'm so sure that he's suffering, with all of the publicity the show has gotten in the past few months.
As we segue to the introduction of the homeowners, MPDP says that this episode is "about more than just star power; it's really a family affair." One room belongs to Natalie's mother, Tina, who will be helped by Natalie's sister, Kim. The other room belongs to Natalie, who will be helped by her cousin, Stephanie. The weird thing is that Natalie, Kim, and Stephanie all look alike, and Tina, the mother, doesn't really look like any of them.
Natalie talks about her room, which is a "bonus room above the garage." Heh. I knew she wouldn't let the designers touch an actual room in her actual house. Natalie voice-overs that it's "kind of an everything room" and that they put their leftover furniture up there. The camera pans around and shows a large room with white walls and sloped ceilings with dormer windows. The furniture includes two desks, an armchair and ottoman, a treadmill, a television, and a large bed. Behind the bed are floor-to-ceiling windows that let in a lot of light. That really is an everything room. Do they work up there, and then run on the treadmill, and then stop to take naps? It's like a studio apartment. ["Except at least four times larger and nicer than most studio apartments." -- Deborah] Natalie says that it has a "plastic, fake-wood floor," and she hopes that Vern changes that. Stephanie says that Natalie hates purple, so she hopes they don't use that color. Natalie says that she likes her bedding, but she thinks it might change a little. There is a white damask-looking bedspread on the bed, and white and black pillows. Natalie says that her bed is the only thing that has any style in the room. The bed doesn't look that special, but I read in an article that the headboard is made from an old garden gate. You can't really tell, because of all the pillows. Natalie and Stephanie are sitting in front of a huge spread of food. I think I need to take a break and have a snack. No, I must soldier on. Natalie wants her room to be a beautiful guest room where her guests will feel comfortable. Natalie says that her mom is a really hard worker who has helped her do everything in her house, and they like to do the work themselves. They take a day to do a room in her mom's house, and then a day in Natalie's house, so it's kind of like their own Trading Spaces.
MPDP says that Tina's room definitely needs trading. Tina says that she uses the room for sewing and big projects. It appears to be an attic room, due to the sloped ceilings. The walls are papered, and it's hard to tell what color the paper is -- yellow? Ivory? Whatever it is, it has a really small floral print. The floor is covered in dark beige wall-to-wall carpeting. The furniture in the room includes a desk with a computer, a daybed, and a sewing table, and many smaller pieces. Tina says that she uses the computer for e-mail, and they also use the room as a guest room at times. She says the room is a "mismatch [sic] of everything left over [from] when we moved in." The daybed belonged to Natalie when she was a little girl, and it's a pretty ugly brass contraption. Kim thinks that the room needs some light, and some lighter paint to make it homier. They both agree that the wallpaper has got to go. Kim says that the designers might do something crazy, but Tina says that whatever it is, they'll get over it.
MPDP lays out the rules, and you might be interested to know that the rules didn't change for the celebrity episode -- they still have two days and a thousand dollars. The only difference that I can see so far is that Natalie and Stephanie seem to have cut the sleeves off of their red shirts. They trade keys and take off.
Natalie and Stephanie head over to Tina's room. They have to walk up a spiral staircase to get there. They walk in and greet Hildi, who is looking through some drawers in the sewing table. Hildi asks what they are going to do in "this weird room." She makes a motion referring to the sloped ceiling and asymmetrical dimensions. Natalie says, "You tell us!" Hildi laughs and pretends to start listing off changes. Natalie says, "We know how you work!" She's obviously seen the show a few times. Hildi says that they are going to drape the room in fabric, and I have horrible magenta/taupe flashbacks. Hildi says they won't be doing much painting, but they are going to install partitions to divide the room into working and sleeping areas. Hildi says that it's time to unload the room, but the one obstacle will be the spiral staircase. So they'll take out what they can, hide some things in the closet, and then move other stuff into the corner. Since they're not painting, I guess it's not a big deal anyway. They unload the room. Ty shows up to take the bed apart.
MPDP voice-overs that Vern is trying to figure out how to incorporate the new bed linens into his new room. Tina and Kim show up and greet Vern, who asks what they think. Kim says that it's big and white and needs color. Vern agrees, and says that they are going to add warmth by painting the walls and ceilings, and they'll add custom carpentry to make more efficient use of the room. They're also going to add storage and new bedding. Wow, his speech was a lot shorter than Hildi's. Do you think Hildi is trying to impress Natalie or what? They unload the room, but have a lot of trouble with the heavy bed, so they just cover it up.
Natalie and Stephanie are checking out the paint color, which Natalie terms "a green-blue." Hildi walks in and says that they're cheating. Natalie asks if she would call the color "artichoke." Hildi says she hasn't thought about the name of the color, but she's trying to incorporate the rug. Hildi unveils the fabric that will be draped on the walls. It's a dark green floral pattern that looks like it belongs on the walls of a funeral parlor. ["Indeed. Hildi, sometimes there's a reason you can buy a whole bolt of fabric for a song: it's fugly." -- Deborah] Hildi says they also have coordinating fabrics in chenille and silk to cover the beds.
Vern calls Tina and Kim over. He points out that they left one of the desks in the room, and they might be wondering why. Vern jokes that he was too tired to take it out, so they're just going to paint around it. Then, Vern admits that they need to figure out how to get the top off, because he's going to make one desktop for both Natalie's and Adrian's (her husband) desks that will stretch along the entire wall. Tina and Kim think that is a great idea. ["I can't help but wonder how they're going to get this giant desktop up the stairs. Love Vern, but he seems to conceive of huge projects and I sometimes wonder if he considers how to get them in the room: e.g., the Springdale Drive episode. At least they don't have the spiral staircase to consider, as Hildi does in the other house." -- Deborah]
Natalie uses a roller to paint the ceiling green. Hildi is babbling about how they wanted to take the wallpaper down. Natalie is committing the two biggest mistakes you can make while painting a ceiling -- not wearing a hat, and not wearing eye protection. And she's looking up. ["This is so me. I just deal." -- Deborah] So, not surprisingly, she gets paint on her face. Stephanie says that the paint is in her hair as well. Natalie just giggles and keeps painting. Now that's my kind of celebrity. Natalie says she's a really messy painter.
Vern reveals the paint color to Tina and Kim. He pulls off the lid, and the paint is black. Blacker than black. Tina laughs and says that he must be joking. Vern says that he thinks the black will add a little more depth. Tina laughs and says that it will add "a lot more depth!" Vern says that it will also make the ceilings appear lower. Tina agrees. Kim says, "Wow. It's dark. But I'm excited to see what it's going to look like." Vern can't hold it in any longer, and he bursts out laughing. He says that they weren't supposed to play along, and then admits that he doesn't have a good poker face. Vern then shows them the real color, a creamy yellow. They all agree that it's better. The bumper out to the commercial shows Natalie unable to figure out how to fold up an ironing board, so she just carries it out with the legs sticking out. Heh.
“ Hildi is being a lot nicer this week than she usually is, and seems to be doing a lot more work herself. Interesting. ”
The bumper on the way back in shows Natalie, Stephanie, and Hildi putting fabric on the walls. MPDP voice-overs that she doesn't hear much work coming from the carpentry area. The Paige Cam shows Ty saying that he needs to get another saw. MPDP is incredulous. Ty explains that he burned out the motor, so unless he finds a chain saw, he's going to be slowed down. Ty seems pissed. I don't understand why they can't just run to Lowe's and buy another one. It's not like it has to come out of the $1000 homeowner budget. Maybe they want to take it out of Ty's paycheck, and that's why he's acting so pissy.
MPDP goes to check up on Vern's team, who are busy painting the walls. MPDP asks Tina why she's doing all of the cutting-in, and then asks if she's supposed to be the good painter, because she has a ton of paint on her shirt already. Tina says that good painters always end up wearing the paint. ["I totally agree. Painting clothes are for getting paint on. I don't know how I'm supposed to get anything done if I have to worry about not getting paint on my clothes." -- Deborah]
Hildi starts rolling out the fabric for the walls. She explains the pattern on fabrics generally runs horizontally, but they are going to "railroad it" by running it sideways. I'm familiar with the railroading process, due to my recent slipcover adventures. Hildi says that it will save them hours of time.
MPDP voice-overs that Ty's "table-saw troubles" mean that he can't make it over to Vern's room, so Vern decides to track him down. Vern asks Kim to call Ty on the cell phone to give him the desktop dimensions. Kim makes the call, and Ty seems a bit confused as to what she's talking about, and scrambles around for a pen and paper. She tells Ty that it's supposed to be thirteen feet long, and three feet deep. Ty writes down the measurements and says, "It's really deep over here." I don't even know what that means, but Kim finds it hilarious. Vern says it sounds like they are having too much fun, and Tina says that they're not going to get the desktop. Vern asks Tina if she knows how to build, and Tina laughs and says that she'll work on it.
Hildi holds up the fabric and explains that they're going to staple it to the molding near the floor first, and go around the room, and then come back and add the second level, up to the ceiling. Hildi asks Stephanie to hold the fabric up and Natalie to hold it tight. Hildi promises that she can staple "really, really fast." Hildi is being a lot nicer this week than she usually is, and seems to be doing a lot more work herself. Interesting.
Vern visits the workshop and Ty asks why he's there. Vern jokes that he's there for a social visit, and while he's there, he was wondering if Ty could build something for him. I still think they hate each other. Vern shows Ty the plans he has made for the desk, and explains that this is what the dimensions that he called in earlier were for. Vern starts explaining the nice architectural plans. Ty asks about the dimensions, because he heard the number thirty. Vern says that it's supposed to be thirty inches tall. We never heard Kim give the height dimensions, so we don't know if that's accurate. Ty says that he made it thirty-one inches high, because he saw that on the design, but he's sure that they can saw an inch off if need be. Vern is pretty sure that he had thirty inches on the original designs. He clearly wants to kill Ty right now. Ty grabs the plans to show Vern what it says, and realizes that he was confusing the thirty-inch height with the thirteen-foot length. Ty stops talking when he realizes his error. I still don't quite understand how he made that mistake, but the end result is that Ty screwed up. Vern looks pleased that the mistake wasn't his.
Hildi, Natalie, and Stephanie are still stapling fabric. Natalie practically has to do a backbend to smooth the fabric over the sloped ceiling. She and Stephanie hold the fabric up while Hildi staples. Hildi says that she thinks Tina will really like it, and Natalie agrees. Hildi asks if Tina will ever take the fabric down, if she doesn't like it. Natalie says that she won't, once she finds out that the wallpaper is still there underneath it, because then she would have to take down the ugly wallpaper too.
Tina is sewing in the kitchen. Vern says that he's so glad that Tina sews, and explains that she's sewing the panels they will use for a screen to hide the treadmill. Tina is excited to hear that. Vern says that he understands the necessity of a treadmill, and he admires "the exercise ethic." Clearly, from the size of his biceps, he has an exercise ethic of his own. Vern shows Tina the fabric that he has for the bed pillows. They are hand-embroidered silk that he got "a phenomenal deal on." One pillow is black silk with embroidered dragonflies, and it looks beautiful. The other is three rectangular panels sewn together. Vern says that they will use pillows to "inject color into the room."
Hildi runs out to see Ty in the workshop, greeting him with a hip bump. Hildi checks out the poplar leaning against a van, which she's going to use to make partitions and a sofa. Ty clarifies that the partitions are basically swinging doors, and uses a hand motion to demonstrate how the doors will move. Ty explains how he's going to build the partitions, and Hildi calls it "a wing." Ty says that it's going to be a partition hung on an axis so that it swings, and she can call it whatever she wants. ["What is it with her and her vertically mounted, wooden blinds and partitions? The ones in the Hay Wall episode were a pointless expenditure of labour and materials, not to mention totally child-unfriendly; the ones here didn't connect to anything else in the room aesthetically and just seemed pointless." -- Deborah] Hildi explains that the partitions will divide the room according to purpose.