Quickfire Challenge: We all get a political lesson when we learn that members of Congress aren't allowed to accept meals from lobbyists unless it can be served on a toothpick. So the cheftestants have to devise a one-bite meal that packs the punch of a gourmet meal. There is an abundance of scallops served, and it's judged by the youngest Congressman, who I'm going to guess is not a culinary expert. He chooses Kevin, Angelo and Stephen as the top three, and the winner is Angelo. Gross. He did some shrimp in a cucumber cup. At least his lack of recent wins seems to have diminished his confidence somewhat. Oh, he gets immunity and $20,000.
Elimination Challenge: Create a power lunch to be served at the Palms DC. They are each assigned a protein, but the people with the same protein are not competing head-to-head. It's a free-for-all. There's a controversy over a pea purée that Ed made and then couldn't find on day two, while Alex suspiciously added a pea purée to his dish at the last minute, but it's never really resolved, although clearly the other cheftestants think Alex is guilty. The diners are various political celebrities (Joe Scarborough, Luke Russert and the like). Here are the dishes:
Kelly: Porterhouse with crispy potato-arugula salad, roasted shallot demi-glace. Some find it overly salty, but others enjoy it.
Amanda: New York steak and filet mignon, red wine with pommes Parisienne and arugula. The judges find it well-seasoned and seared.
Tiffany: swordfish with olive and raisin tapenade, broccolini with bacon. The judges note that she overcooked the dish, but think that her dish is unique in a good way.
Andrea: pan-seared swordfish with "risotto style" couscous, asparagus, and beurre blanc. The judges find it interesting, although some think the sauce is too sweet.
Stephen: pan-seared salmon with warm vegetable salad and Worcestershire vinaigrette. The dish is too heavy and messy, which is actually a good description of Stephen himself.
Alex: applewood smoked salmon with black forbidden rice and English pea purée. The pea purée is singled out as a great addition, and the portion is great.
Angelo: butter-poached lobster with lobster froth and jicama, arugula, and pear salad. The lobster is tough and chewy, but the non-culinary judges find the foam strange and offputting. Thank you!
Ed: poached lobster ballantine, eggplant caviar, and English pea-asparagus fricassee. The lobster and eggplant are great, but the judges ironically find the peas unnecessary.
Kenny: peppered lamb, fig-pistachio bread pudding, and vanilla-morel demi-glace. They are intrigued by the sauce, and think the lamb is great, but felt it needed more.
Kevin: double-cut lamb chops with olive and goat cheese rissole, mache, and tomato concasse. His lamb is overcooked, and all of the flavors are too strong to work together.
Alex, Tiffany and Ed are judged to have the three best dishes. Tiffany actually cries because she knew she overcooked the fish, but the other components made up for it. Of course, Alex is specifically praised for his pea purée, and Ed and Tiffany are shooting daggers with their eyes. And then Alex wins. Ed's face is like, "YOU ARE SHITTING ME!" So now Alex really can't admit he stole the food. If he had been in the middle or bottom, maybe he would have owned up to it. Maybe. If he didn't do it, he should sue the editors, because they made it clear that Alex had the means and the motive, even if they didn't get the theft on camera.
The bottom three are Kevin, Kelly and Andrea. The judges tell Kevin that his food was too spicy, and his lamb wasn't cooked well, because he cooked it sous vide and then recooked it under a broiler. Andrea admits that she doesn't like swordfish, so her dish wasn't made with enough care. Kelly knows that her food was too salty, so she has no argument there. And going home tonight is…Andrea. Wow. I really thought it was going to be Kelly, and by her reaction, so did she. I can't believe Amanda and Stephen are still in this thing.
It's kind of weird how the show juxtaposes shots of things like Arlington Cemetery and the Vietnam Memorial with people gossiping about their fellow cheftestants. It's just tonally off. Then again, Kelly is complaining to Stephen that people living in her room "keep getting whacked," so maybe there's a death theme going on. That's cheerful. Kelly points out that only she and Andrea are left in their room. So one of them will probably be going home tonight, if my reality-show prediction skills (based on obvious editing) are correct, right? Kevin is happy that he finally got a win and he brags to Kenny that it was "a long time coming." Kenny is just lying in bed, in disbelief that he almost got sent home due to strategy and not poor cooking. Well, let's be honest. If your food was really, really awesome, the judges aren't going to send you home just because your fellow cheftestants want to get rid of you. They would have had Colicchio call everyone together for a special session or something. Obviously, Kenny's food was lacking in some way, just not enough to deserve elimination.
Hey, how's Angelo doing now that his fake girlfriend is gone? He claims to be upset, but is he really? Tiffany points out that Angelo helped both Tamesha and Stephen, and both of their food was not good. So is Angelo purposely sabotaging people? Maybe. Tiffany's got her eye on that dude.
Quickfire Challenge. Padma introduces Rep. Aaron Schock of Illinois, who is currently the youngest congressman in the House. He explains that his first day in Congress was spent learning ethics, and a lot of it is about what kinds of meals he can and cannot accept from lobbyists. Padma adds that chefs and caterers have found an interesting solution to the rules; they can only serve food that fits on a toothpick. So the chefs have made gourmet meals that fit on a toothpick, which seems to violate the spirit of the law, if not the letter. Can we get a ruling from Randy Cohen on this? Stephen, sweet, naïve Stephen, says that if these rules weren't in place, lobbyists could buy themselves some laws. Oh, and that never happens. Lobbyists hardly have any influence over what laws are passed in this country, right? Because of the toothpicks and all? Padma lays out the challenge: create a meal that fits on a toothpick, and win immunity and $20,000.
Andrea interviews that she and her husband run a struggling restaurant, and she has a family. So just give her the money already. It's not like Stephen doesn't have twins at home. Who cares if he makes shitty food?
They have thirty minutes, and when time starts, everyone sprints to snatch the right protein. Kenny explains to us that everything on the toothpick has to pack a punch; there can't be any filler. Kenny's usual strategy of making three dishes when everyone else makes one won't work here, so he is adding a mojito relish to infuse a cocktail into his bite. Kelly wants to make sure all of her food will stick to a toothpick, so she's using scallops and watermelon, and plans to taste as she goes and reseason as needed. It seemed kind of weird that they added that interview clip in here, but it will become important later on. Like don't they always taste as they go and reseason as needed?
Stephen is really sure his dish is going to be awesome, and he's practically already made plans on how to spend the money. His dish is a toothpick version of surf and turf. But do you usually eat the surf and the turf in the same bite? Are those flavors supposed to be combined? I'm a bad person to ask because I have this weird OCD thing where, when eating a meal, I eat all of one item, then all of the . I don't take a bite of each thing. I don't do it on purpose, and if I think about it, I can eat like a normal person, but left to my own devices, I only eat one thing at a time. I know, I'm a weirdo. So maybe other people do combine surf and turf in one bite. Alex thinks that Stephen has too much going on. Alex, meanwhile, thinks he's a canapé expert, so he's not worried. Tiffany knows exactly what she wants to do, because she's chosen a dish she did at one of her jobs. Amanda, meanwhile, is clueless and just decides to do a lamb kebab. She hates appetizers and thinks they are boring. She needs to lose the attitude, and fast. I mean, appetizers are just smaller versions of a full meal. And I haven't seen her show much enthusiasm for cooking, period. Why is she on this show again?
Angelo is trying to be creative by rolling shrimp into slivers (actually, thin slices) of pineapple. The problem is that the pineapple is too wet, so when he rolls it up, it falls apart. Oops. Ed is having trouble with his concept. He knows what he wants to make, but isn't sure how to get it on a toothpick. That could be a problem.
Kevin is first to serve Padma and Rep. Schock, who will be judging, and he made grilled pork and mushroom kabob with sherry vinegar. It's also swimming in some kind of sauce and served in a coffee cup, and the sauce looks creamy, so I guess that's the creamed onion and bacon that Kevin mentioned.
Andrea has made buttermilk fried chicken, pecan cheddar waffles, and black pepper maple gravy. That's a lot of flavors. Although it occurs to me that you could make something similar by spearing a chicken nugget and a hunk of an Eggo. I'm just saying.
Ed made duo of tuna: tuna confit, gilled tuna with avocado, and sweet and sour watermelon. He speared it on a little umbrella. Flair! Ed interviews that he's trying to sell them on the dish, which makes me think he wasn't very confident about it in the first place.
Tiffany made a crispy pork roulade with prosciutto, dates and a red pepper coulis. It looks good. Nice and crispy and the coulis adds some needed color. She used little plastic swords as her toothpick, which is a kitschy touch. My brother and I always used to have mock swordfights whenever we ate at a place with those. Do restaurants still put those in steaks?
Amanda made lamb kebob with fried cherry heirloom tomatoes and salsa verde. Yawn. Lucky for her, lamb is one of the congressman's favorites. Amanda throws her hair around and smiles. I'm surprised she didn't flash some cleavage.
Kenny made tandoori spiced sockeye salmon and shrimp with mango mojito relish. That kind of sounds like something that would be on the menu at TGI Fridays.
Angelo made a cucumber cup with spiced shrimp and cashew. He apologizes all over the place for his cucumber cup, which he thinks is old-fashioned. I think it's kind of a cheat to attach a cup to the plastic sword and then fill it with stuff, but I'm not on the Congressional Ethics Committee. Angelo thinks that the flavors are so amazing that he had to use the cucumber. Yes, those cucumbers. So flavorful.
Stephen put everything but the kitchen sink on a toothpick: scallop and beef with a crispy potato cake and béarnaise sauce. It reminds me of those Willy Wonka pills that would give you the flavor of a whole meal (and turn you into a blueberry). Aren't we living in the future? Why hasn't someone made those pills yet? I want to take a pill that tastes like potato chips and Bison French onion dip and then I don't have to ingest the calories just to get that awesome taste. Science! Get on that! Stephen thinks that, since the congressman said it was meaty, he totally won. I don't know that "meaty" is a compliment unless the judge is Homer Simpson.
Alex made scallops with crispy bacon, strawberries, and basil essence. Scallops and strawberries? Oh....kay. Padma looks disturbed as she chews.
Kelly follows the fruit plus seafood formula as she made seared scallops with salted watermelon and a watermelon vinaigrette. Somehow watermelon and seafood doesn't bother me like strawberries. I'm a fruit hypocrite.
Padma asks Rep. Schock who his bottom three are, and he picks out Alex, Ed, and Kelly. He specifically says that Kelly's lacked a little flavor. Well, it's watermelon. It's mostly water. It's right in the title. Given that every bit of food on the toothpick needed to add fl
avor, maybe watermelon wasn't the best choice. Kelly is really upset about being in the bottom, and really takes to heart the "flavorless" critique, which was delivered by a dude who's not even a food critic, so whatever. She vows to use big and bold flavors in the challenge.So who did well? Kevin, Angelo, and Stephen. I still think Angelo's was a cheat, and Rep. Schock only liked Stephen's because he had a lot of food on it. He doesn't mention flavors or anything. And the winner is...Angelo. Boo. I mean, there are a lot of people who should leave before Angelo does, so it's fine, but I don't want anything else to add to his cockiness. Kevin interviews that he thinks Angelo does the same thing over and over again and honestly comes off as a little bitter about it. Soon Kevin will have to have the Top Chef epiphany where he vows to make his own food and not worry about the other cheftestants.
Elimination Challenge: Serve a "power lunch" at the Palm DC. This got me to thinking -- what's different about the power lunch than just a regular lunch? Well, a power lunch is probably a lot heavier. You don't eat a chicken salad sandwich at a power lunch. And the beverages are probably alcoholic. I think Roger Sterling had a lot of power lunches on Mad Men. Kelly has dined at the Palm before with her family, and she remembers eating giant lobsters.
Padma gives the details: they will be serving twenty-four diners, and will draw knives to determine which protein they will prepare: salmon, lamb chops, swordfish, lobster, or Porterhouse steak. Regardless of which protein they have, the cheftestants will be competing against the entire group, not just the person with the same protein.
Alex gets salmon, and he interviews that his head is spinning with possibility. Tiffany gets swordfish, and she has a recipe from her restaurant that she's been dying to use and thinks it's time to pull it out. As they shop, Stephen explains that he used to work in a restaurant in downtown San Francisco, which did a lot of power lunches. San Francisco? I thought he was the corn fed boy from the Midwest! This new information is messing up the one-dimensional portrait of Stephen spun by the show thus far! Stephen is convinced that this is going to be his challenge. Does Stephen ever not think this is his challenge? Or I should say, does Stephen have an overabundance of confidence each and every time, or is it just me? For a dude who has been in the bottom more often than not, he seems to always think he's got it in the bag. I kind of admire that, but it also makes him come off as somewhat simple-minded.
Kevin finds it interesting that he and Kenny both drew lamb, because while they are friends, Kevin plans to give it his all. Even though they're not competing head-to-head. Does Kevin think he needs to let Kenny win? I think Kenny can handle the competition. Andrea says that she has plans to do something new and different with swordfish, which is always a recipe for disaster. It's as if she's going to serve it with scallops and then make it into a dessert. She admits that she doesn't personally like swordfish, which is crazy talk. Swordfish is awesome.
The cheftestants return to the kitchen for their two-hour prep time. Angelo and Ed have lobster, and the lobsters are HUGE. All of the other proteins are already cut down -- the salmon is in fillet form, for example. But the lobster guys have to prep the lobsters themselves, which doesn't really seem fair. But since you cook lobsters whole, I don't know how else they could do it. Alex is also overwhelmed by the size of his salmon portions. Get this -- he has to cut them in half! Wow! What a chef! I mean, seriously. That is so not a big deal. And yet, he still doesn't know how he's going to prepare his salmon.
Amanda and Kelly both have Porterhouse steaks, which have bones in them. Amanda has never cooked one before, so she decides to remove the bone, and Kelly explains that she ends up with a bunch of NY Strips and a bunch of filets. Kelly thinks this is a bad idea, and I kind of agree that it does seem to violate the spirit of the challenge. It's not like Amanda is making a totally different dish, like if someone made a salmon mousse or a lobster salad or something. She's just cutting the bone out to make two cuts of meat instead of one. Then again, if she's never cooked a Porterhouse, it's probably a risk worth taking.
Kevin is making lamb chops, and like Stephen, he has experience working in a restaurant known for power lunches. Angelo agrees with Ed that they got shafted on the choice of protein because it's just a lot more work. Angelo also claims that he doesn't know what a power lunch is. Andrea's swordfish is typically served with a citrus salsa, but she's going to finish it with "a vanilla bean mustard buerre blanc." That sounds gross, with fish, or with anything. I don't see vanilla and mustard working out all that well together. But I'm not a professional, so what do I know?
Ed and Angelo are still dealing with the giant mutant lobsters. Ed spent all of his prep time breaking down lobsters and doesn't have any time to work on his sides or even his main dish other than breaking down the lobsters, so he's a bit worried.
That night, Alex discusses his dilemma with Kenny and Andrea, and his dilemma is that he still doesn't know what he's making with the salmon. Kenny basically tells him, "You need to pick something and go with it." Alex says he bought some English peas, but they're not that good. Andrea asks if they are the same peas that Ed got, and Kenny adds that before Ed pureed his peas, they looked good. So just a note here for future reference: Alex was just informed that A) Ed also bought English peas, that B) the English peas look pretty good and C) that Ed pureed the peas. Just remember that. Alex's only reaction is that he doesn't know what to do, still. It's like he wants one of them to go, "Here's how you should prepare your salmon..." and then lay it out. And at this stage of the competition, that's not going to happen. It's one thing to talk a dish over with a colleague, and perhaps have them suggest a new herb or preparation to try. But to expect your competitors to just tell you the basis for your whole dish? Ain't happening. Unless it's Angelo, and then he's probably trying to sabotage you anyway.
Ed and Tiffany are discussing his dish in the bedroom. I mean, they're sitting on separate beds, fully clothed. Talking. About Ed's pea puree. I hope you like talk of pea purees in general, because there will be a lot of it. Anyway, Ed has made a pea puree and plans to serve it warm. He's also worried he will be on the bottom, but Tiffany assures him that if his food tastes good, he doesn't have to worry. Andrea provides the soundbite the producers needed to make this seem worse than it is, where she claims that if Tiffany's fiancé knew about this, Ed would be in trouble. In reality, I think Ed likes Tiffany as a friend and maybe more, and Tiffany just likes Ed as a friend. The fiancé thing explains why Tiffany has never seemed all that interested. It's one of those things that happens a million times per day in this world; had they met at a different time under different circumstances, maybe something would happen, but as it is, nothing will happen other than friendship. Calling it.
The morning, the cheftestants arrive at the Palm DC. Kelly is excited by how classic it is, and it really is a throwback, with lots of wood panels and caricatures of politicians and gladhanders all over the walls. As they inspect the equipment, Bruce Bozzi, the owner of the Palm Group, arrives. He explains that this is the first time, in over 80 years of operation, they have handed over the kitchen to anyone else, and that Colicchio will be visiting them in the kitchen to keep an eye on things. He adds that the winner will get their dish on the Palms DC menu, and also get their face as a caricature on the wall. Man, the restaurant business must be down. I can see that being a draw for tourists, but not many others. Then again, there are a lot of faces on that wall. They could always put it in some corner somewhere. Or the bathroom.
Right off the bat, Kelly and Amanda start butting heads. Amanda stacks her coolers in a way that makes it difficult to get by in the narrow walkway, and then she starts cooking really far from her prep station so she has to do a lot of running back and forth. Kelly gets annoyed and snaps at her a few times. Then Amanda didn't bring any salt with her and Kelly really doesn't want to share what she brought, claiming that she only brought enough for herself. Steaks do require a lot of salt, so I see Kelly's point. Plus, I hate Amanda.
Alex unpacks his cooler and says that he's going to make a pea puree, first thing, and if it works he will use it, and if not, he will have enough time to go in a different direction, hopefully. We see him walking and stirring a pea puree in a saucepan. Colicchio arrives to watch, and it makes everyone nervous. Amanda is seriously sprinting around the kitchen, which has got to be a safety hazard. Tiffany has found a little niche for herself away from the others. Colicchio asks the cheftestants to try to clean as they go, because they're making messes left and right.
Okay, then there's a shot of whole peas sitting in a pan of water, although we don't see who that pan belongs to. Then there's a shot of Angelo cutting his finger. Cut to Ed, searching his coolers for his pea puree, and he can't find it. He asks a few people if they've seen it, and no one has. Meanwhile, Alex is walking around with a pan of pea puree, finished. But he tells Ed that he didn't use any peas? Curious. And suddenly, Alex is plating his dish, the dish that he hadn't even conceptualized until that morning. Ed is freaking out, and Tiffany tells him to calm down and tries to get him to focus on what he's going to serve, since he doesn't have time to seek out his pea puree. Ed finally catches his snap and does what Tiffany suggested.
The diners start arriving and final preparations are underway. Kevin explains that he cooked his lamb sous vide and now he needs to reheat it, which seems like a recipe for overcooking to me. Kelly and Amanda are up first, and Padma introduces the various diners. Does it really matter? It's a bunch of wonks and television personalities and there are a lot of them. The important ones are Gail, Padma, and Art Smith. Colicchio will be eating in the kitchen, where he belongs.
Kelly is up first. She serves Porterhouse with crispy potato-arugula salad and a roasted shallot demi-glace. Some of the diners find it overly salty, but Joe Scarborough likes it and God knows he will probably bully the other people at his table into liking it.
Amanda: New York steak and filet mignon, red wine with pommes Parisienne and arugula. The judges find it well-seasoned and seared, and Gail specifically mentions salt. The owner of the restaurant likes the plating, and how the meat was draped over the sides. No one mentions the fact that she took it off the bone.
Tiffany and Andrea are up . If they didn't want the people with the same proteins judged against one another, why are they serving at the same time? It's like, "Don't compare these two similar things that you are eating at the same time." Wouldn't it make more sense to pair people up who have different proteins then? Weird. Anyway, Andrea is worried that her swordfish might not be cooked properly, but is confident about her other components. Cut to Colicchio standing behind her plates, looking confused.
Tiffany: swordfish with olive and raisin tapenade, broccolini with bacon. The judges note that she overcooked the fish, but think that her dish is unique in a good way. Tiffany notes in an interview that she knows she overcooked the dish and she's pissed because she's made it many times before and it should have been perfect.
Andrea: pan-seared swordfish with "risotto style" couscous, asparagus, and vanilla bean mustard buerre blanc.The diners think the sauce is really sweet and rich, and Art Smith worries about what it will do to him. He lost a ton of weight recently, right? So he knows how to avoid calories. People are split on whether the addition of vanilla was a good idea.
Stephen and Alex are plating their food while the diners discuss which burger is their favorite.
Stephen presents pan-seared salmon with warm vegetable salad and Worcestershire vinaigrette. The dish is too heavy and messy, which is actually a good description of Stephen himself.
Alex: applewood smoke salmon with black forbidden rice and English pea puree. The pea puree is singled out as a great addition, and Art Smith says that he likes the sweetness coming from peas instead of squeezing lemon on top. Another diner points out that the portion is great for lunch, because you feel satisfied and not gross.
Ed and Angelo are rushing to get their food ready. Ed, in particular, is scrambling. Kenny is saucing something -- not sure if he's helping Angelo or Ed. But all of the plates go out on time.
Angelo: butter-poached lobster with lobster froth and jicama, arugula, and pear salad. Gail says she has "a chewing issue" because the lobster is tough. The non-culinary diners are put off by the foam, which thank you! I've been saying since Marcel that foam is weird and no one but other chefs and food snobs thinks that it's a good idea. Maybe this is my country showing, but it always just looks like frog or fish eggs to me, and not in a caviar kind of way.
Ed: poached lobster ballantine, eggplant caviar, and English pea-asparagus fricassee. The lobster and eggplant are great and flavorful, but the judges ironically find the peas unnecessary.
With little introduction, Kenny serves peppered lamb, fig-pistachio bread pudding, and vanilla-morel demi-glace. The diners are intrigued by the sauce, which is kind of sweet. They think the lamb is great, but felt it needed some greens somehow.
Kevin: broiled double-cut lamb chops with olive and goat cheese rissole, mache, and tomato concasse. His lamb is overcooked (maybe because it was cooked twice) and tough, and all of the flavors are too strong to work together. Gail calls it "a silky smooth puree of fire," indicating that it's too spicy even for her.
Tom joins the other judges (Gail, Padma, and Art Smith) to hash things out a bit before meeting with the cheftestants. Tom says that it was kind of chaotic in the kitchen, with things being thrown about and lots of running around. I'm not sure if their kitchen behavior is being included in the judging; it's an interesting idea. Can someone be chaotic in the kitchen and still produce a good plate? Art Smith has to bring up his bullshit "food is love" thing which bugs me. I mean, I love to serve food to the people I love, and I get what he's saying about food having soul, but to judge people in a made-up cooking competition over whether or not their food was served with love is ridiculous.
In the kitchen, Ed is still trying to figure out who took his puree. Kevin walks over to find out what they're whispering about, and Tiffany tries to put him off because she's smart enough to stay out of the drama, but Ed just says he wants to know who stole the puree. Kevin interviews that no one knows for sure, but it's clear everyone thinks Alex took it. The judges, meanwhile, have made their preliminary decisions and are heading to Judges' Table.
Weird interstital thing. In the Stew Room, Stephen delivers a sarcastic seminar about how to be on the bottom. The clips we see are not all that hysterical, but the cheftestants are all laughing pretty hard, so either they're drunk or he's funny.
Back in the Stew Room, Andrea and Kelly are gossiping with Kenny and Kevin about the Case of the Purloined Pea Puree. Alex interviews that he knows people think he took Ed's pea puree, but he claims it was all a coincidence, and he didn't even know that Ed was making a pea puree. Cut to footage of Kenny telling Alex that Ed was making a pea puree. Heh. Good job, editors. On first viewing, I totally forgot that Alex was told that. I really have to believe that, while the camera people didn't get Alex on film taking the puree, they knew that he did take it. Maybe they saw him, or the evidence was overwhelming or whatever. If they had doubts, the producers would not have put that footage of Alex outright lying into the show. And also, Ed lied about not having any peas. And also, I have to believe that pot they showed of peas in water on Day Two belonged to Alex, since Ed made his puree the night before, and no one else served peas.
Padma enters and asks to see Tiffany, Alex, and Ed. I thought maybe they were going to get to the bottom of this puree thing, but no. They are actually the top three! They are all incredibly relieved when Padma tells them. Tiffany actually cries, because she thought she was on the bottom because her fish was overcooked. Tom tells her that the fish wasn't dried out and Gail adds that everything she added to the fish had moisture, which helped. I love Tiffany.
Moving on to Ed, who makes the judges laugh by referring to the lobsters as being the size of Volkswagens. Art Smith tells him that he knows Ed was challenged, but it didn't show on the plate. Alex says he's surprised to be there, because he had such a hard time deciding what to do with the salmon in the first place. Art Smith can't stop praising the pea puree, and they cut to a hilarious shot of Tiffany crossing her arms with an expression like, "Uh uh. No, he didn't." Ed looks like he wants to say something, but knows it's not a good idea without hard proof. Alex just accepts the praise, and then Art names him the winner. Ed and Tiffany look bemused and kind of annoyed. Can you blame them? Ugh, and now they have to put Alex's gross face on the wall at the Palm. Even if he didn't steal the peas, his remarks this season have been grody.
The cheftestants walk back into the Stew Room and announce that Alex won, and everyone looks kind of shocked. There's a smattering of applause. Kenny interviews that the judges were really impressed with the pea puree, but meanwhile, Alex had not nearly enough time to make it. I still can't get over that shot of the peas in a pot. Who did those belong to? If they belonged to Alex, how did Ed not find them and ask about them, when Alex presumably had the puree already plated? So many questions. But this isn't Law and Order: Pea Puree, unfortunately, so the bottom three must be named, and they are Kelly, Andrea, and Kevin.
The bottom three head out to face the judges. Gail starts out by asking Kevin about his tomato concasse, which had red chili flakes and was way too hot. Kevin says he did taste it and thought it was fine. Tom asks about the overcooked lamb chops. Kevin says he prefers his lamb medium instead of med-rare. Art Smith points out that the bones on the lamb weren't properly cleaned, and that's NOT LOVE. Shut up, Art Smith.
Moving on to Andrea, she explains that she doesn't make swordfish much and it's not her favorite. Art Smith says that they could tell, and her couscous was "kind of gloopy." Tom tells her that there was way too much vanilla and it hurt the dish. Andrea says that she's made that sauce before and it was successful. Gail points out that if they wanted to taste what she makes every day, they would come to her restaurant. That critique makes no sense. So the cheftestants are supposed to cook all new food and flavors on the show? I'm usually with Gail, but that was dumb. Andrea has this sort of Carmela Soprano pursed-lip look that appears condescending, as if she's thinking, "I'm listening to you but I think you're full of shit." She may want to work on her poker face.
Finally, they talk to Kelly, who says she wanted to pay homage to traditional steakhouse flavors. Tom asks if she knows why she's there, since she succeeded at her stated goal. Kelly knows that her food was probably too salty. Tom says that she nailed it. Since she knows what it was, there's not much for the judges to say.
Back in the Stew Room, Kelly breaks down talking about how she ended up on the bottom. Of course, dumb Amanda thinks it's because Kelly wouldn't share her salt. Yes, that's exactly why she oversalted her dish. She used all the salt so you couldn't have any. Dummy. Kelly says that they told her on the Quickfire that her food was too bland, so she was trying for bold flavors on this one. First of all, the judge of the Quickfire was an idiot. And second, is "salty" a bold flavor? I think she needs to cook her own food, to quote the cliché.
The judges discuss the food. Tom reveals that Andrea's swordfish sat under the heat lamp for eight minutes, which explains a lot. Art points out that her excuse about not liking swordfish was lame. Gail moves on to say that she understands the concept behind Kevin's dish, but it didn't hold together, and Art generously adds that he thinks Kevin had a good idea but didn't pull it off. Tom is less kind, claiming that Kevin made "common sense mistakes" like cooking the lamb sous vide and then essentially cooking it again so that it was overdone. Gail sums it all up by saying that all of the bottom three were sloppy, especially Kelly with her oversalting. Art says the saltiness makes him question Kelly's palate. Back in the Stew Room, Kelly is still whimpering about how "they" wanted aggressive flavors, but she usually cooks with very delicate flavors. I think she's so up in her head right now that she's just making things up. They complimented the dessert she made; did that have aggressive flavors? Anyway, the judges have made their call, but we will have to wait until after the commercial break to find the results.
Once the bottom three are back, Tom has to say this horrible line about how they were supposed to make a power lunch but their dishes made the judges want to take a power nap. BOOOOOO! Bad times. Tom tells Kevin that there was no reason to overcook his lamb, tells Kelly that her food was overly salted which ruined the dish, and tells Andrea that her dish was unfocused and the vanilla ruined it. So who's going home? Padma tells Andrea to pack her knives and go. Kelly and Kevin both clearly thought it was going to be them, as they nearly collapse and cry in relief. Andrea seems to think they're upset that she's leaving, when really they're just happy it's not them. In her exit interview, Andrea says that she respects the judges, but she also thinks that she makes awesome food but made mental errors. She vows to move on. I don't think she has a choice, does she? It would be kind of awesome if someone refused to leave and just kept showing up for competitions like, "What?" Get on that, Bravo.
Watch scenes from the episode below, then see who we think will win!
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