By Kim
Quickfire Challenge: Marcus Samuelsson comes in to judge a competition where everyone has to cook an Ethiopian dish. Just about everyone cooks either lamb or goat, but Angelo has the edge because he used to work in an Ethiopian restaurant. The bottom three dishes belong to Kevin, Stephen, and Alex. The favorites are Amanda (!), Angelo, and Tiffany. Even Amanda is shocked that she was in the top three. The winner is Tiffany. Yay! Not Angelo! She gets immunity for the Elimination Challenge.
Elimination Challenge: Each cheftestants chooses a country, and has to cook that cuisine for an audience of a hundred diplomats, some of whom are from the countries chosen. And they won't be able to cook on-site, because they'll only have Sternos to keep the food warm. Here are the dishes:
Tiffany chooses Mexico and makes chicken tamales with queso fresco and tomatillo sauce. The judges think it looks and tastes authentic. Go, Tiffany! I'm really rooting for her now.
Kelly chooses Italy and makes beef Carpaccio with spring vegetable salad and Parmigiano-Reggiano. The judges like the simplicity.
Amanda chooses France and makes beef bourguignon with pommes fourchette and horseradish mousse. She knows when serving that it's not great. The judges wonder why she cut the beef so small, which she did because she thought the beef was overcooked.
Kenny chooses Thailand and makes tamarind-braised pork with rice noodle salad and Thai green curry. The judges think it was subtle but tasty.
Alex chooses Spain and makes braised veal with red wine sauce, olive and tomato salad, and a jamon torta. The judges think the dish is unfocused and bland.
Angelo chooses Japan and makes sashimi of tuna ribbons with avocado and candied wasabi and soy infusion. The judges think it's got good flavors but the flavor of the fish is masked.
Kevin chooses India and he makes stewed chicken with leek and parsnip puree, mango and cucumber salad, and lentils. It's the first time he's made Indian food. The judges like the flavors and the aroma.
Ed chooses China and makes tea-smoked duck breast with crispy pot stickers in Szechuan jus. He claims he knows about China because he's had Chinese girlfriends. Okay. The judges like the flavors.
Stephen gets stuck with Brazil and makes marinated flank steak in a chimichurri sauce with black beans, and rice. He fully admits he knows nothing about Brazil. The judges think the rice isn't cooked properly and aren't sure it really represents Brazil.
The top three are Kelly, Kevin and Tiffany, and the winner is Tiffany, for doing the best job representing her country. I'm glad to finally have a horse in this race who isn't Angelo or Kenny. Plus she wins $10,000. Yay!
The bottom three are Alex, Stephen and Ed. They must have had some seriously shitty food to beat Amanda out for worst dish. Utimately, Stephen is told to pack his knives and go for his poorly cooked rice and steak more than the fact that he had no clue what Brazilian cuisine entailed.
Kelly laments the loss of Andrea. Why is she so sad? Now she has a single room, right? I would be thrilled when my roommates got eliminated; first of all, that means I made it one step closer to winning, and second of all, who wants a roommate? Especially if you are over the age of 20, I think sleeping in a room with another person to whom you are not related or having sex with is tough. I'm just saying. Then again, I'm not much of a camper or a tent person or whatever. I like my bed in my bedroom with my cats and husband in it. The End. Anyway, Kelly's turn in the bottom three after "a fatal flaw" in seasoning (someone died because she used too much salt?) has inspired her to step it up. Because before, she was just half-assing it.
And what of the Pea Puree Debacle from last week? Alex is still claiming that he didn't even know Ed made a pea puree, which we know is a lie, and that he doesn't care what anyone else thinks, which is probably a lie, given how much Alex likes attention. Ed says he's more confused than angry about the whole thing, and wishes that he knew if someone stole it or threw it out or what. He claims he's Perplexed about the Possibly Purloined Pea Puree. I think we can all agree that "pea puree" is this season's scallop.
Tiffany reflects that there are only nine left out of the original seventeen, and that before coming to the show, she was getting ready for her wedding in Costa Rica. Why there? Is her fiancé from there? She just likes it? I have a thing against destination weddings, but I guess it's my issue. I just think it's shitty to force your probably broke friends and family to travel so far to your wedding. It's different if you're either rich enough to pay for their travel yourself, or if they are all far-flung and would have to travel to your wedding anyway. But if you all live a few hours drive from one another, and then you make everyone fly to the Bahamas or something, that's shitty. Anyway. I don't know if that's what Tiffany's planning or not, and I hope not, because she's one of the few remaining contestants that I like.
The cheftestants report to the kitchen and find Padma waiting with Marcus Samuelsson, winner of the most recent Top Chef Masters, who is known for his expertise in Ethiopian and Asian cuisine. Padma explains that DC is known for its diversity and global cuisine, but Ethiopian cuisine is probably most prominent. Stephen explains that he anticipated this challenge because of the large amount of Ethiopian restaurants around.
Quickfire Challenge: Make an Ethiopian-inspired dish. Marcus gives them a quick tutorial in Ethiopian cuisine. He advises them to use the berbere, a spice, and the injera, a sourdough pancake type of flat bread. He also recommends that they make a wat, which is a stew (with a protein like chickpeas, lamb, or beef) that is often eaten using the injera as a utensil. Padma explains that the winner of the challenge will get immunity in the Elimination Challenge. But is it High Stakes? It is not. Just immunity, which Tiffany points out would be awesome to have this late in the competition.
Amanda goes right for the goat leg, and plans to make a goat wat. Alex goes for the beef and goat tongues, explaining that his poor grandmother used to buy lean meats and then cook them slowly to infuse them with flavor. He doesn't have the time for a proper braise, so he plans to use a pressure cooker. As he's walking up to get it, Kelly runs up behind him and tries to grab it first. But Alex is taller, and it's on the top shelf, so he has the advantage. Then Kelly claims that Alex is "aggressive." Wasn't she the one who bum-rushed him to try to get to the pressure cooker first? He was just walking. I'm no Alex fan, but that doesn't seem fair. Kevin also thinks it's bullshit that Alex won the last challenge, because he's "the weakest one." Well, if that's so, he won't be around much longer, so why sweat it? The editors insert a longish shot where Alex has trouble getting the lid for the pressure cooker on.
Angelo explains that it's easy, with Ethiopian cuisine, to overdo the spices so that they mask the flavor of what you're cooking. But he, Angelo, is an EXPERT. Because he worked in an Ethiopian restaurant! Is there anything Angelo can't do? At least in his own mind? Kenny explains that he, Ed, and Angelo are the most comfortable with Ethiopian cuisine, and Angelo has the strongest advantage. So he's totally going to win right? Because prior experience is what decides the competition? And actual cooking skill doesn't matter? That's what I'm getting.
Kevin's strategy is to keep his dish simple with good flavors. Kelly asks Ed if it would be okay to put nuts in Ethiopian food, and he says yes. She explains that she's never even eaten it. Isn't it supposed to be Ethiopian-inspired? So it doesn't have to be 100% an Ethiopian dish, right? Amanda doesn't even know what she's doing with the spices. Neither does Tiffany, but she decides to make a stew, and infuse it with the Ethiopian flavors. She can't even name her dish, because she's winging it.
Kevin made braised chicken with chickpeas, cucumber-mint salad, and yogurt. That seems more Middle Eastern than anything else. Or even Greek. Marcus says he "feels the heat." Is he a member of Power Station? Wow, obscure '80s reference for the win. Stephen made lamb meatballs and yogurt sauce. His plate looks HORRIBLE and it's a mess. There are some lamb chops (I think?) in the middle of the plate that don't even get mentioned in the name of the dish, and then a moat of stew around the outside. And then two different types of bread. What is that? Why is he still on this show?
Alex presents beef and lamb tongue stew with cabbage and potatoes. Cabbage? Okay. Alex says he doesn't eat much spicy food so he wasn't sure how spicy to make it. Padma doesn't even try to hide her disdain when she says, "It's not very spicy at all." Heh. Kelly made leg of lamb wat with cauliflower, yogurt, and mint puree. Marcus compliments the heat of her dish. Is that the only thing he's looking for? Spicy hot food? I mean, they gave them the spices to use, so how hard was it?
Amanda made stewed goat on grilled injera. Marcus tells her that it's a modern stew and tastes wonderful. Boo. Kenny, as usual, has to make twice as much food as anyone else, so he made a duo of lamb: meat loaf and rib eye with curry and dukkah spice. When is he going to figure out that she should focus on one perfect dish instead of two or three mediocre dishes? Because he's not winning challenges with his current strategy, despite his insistence that he is awesome. So either he's sadly mistaken, or his food is suffering from lack of focus. Or both. Marcus compliments his deep flavors and the fact that he added a chillier component.
Angelo the Ethiopian Expert made berbere-spiced doro wat with egg, mango yogurt, and mint on steamed injera. Angelo sucks up to Marcus when he says that Ethiopian is "one of [his] top three favorite foods." So it's third then? Because otherwise, he would have said favorite or top two. Marcus stokes the ego fires when he asks, "Are you sure you weren't born Ethiopian?" The other cheftestants are like, "Ugh. Gross." Ed made stewed lamb and beef tripe with cauliflower, chickpeas, and braised greens. Marcus calls it "well-balanced." That's damning with faint praise.
Tiffany made beef goulash with poached egg, currants, peppers, and yogurt. I like that she didn't try to make a straight Ethiopian dish, but just used the flavors. Marcus says that, even though they tasted hers last, he wants to eat more.
So who were the least favorites? Kevin's food wasn't bold enough. Kevin interviews that he's split his time being on the top or on the bottom, which means that he's inconsistent. Stephen's cabbage was good but his meatballs were dry. Marcus appreciates Alex's bold choice in picking tongue, but he thinks the stew was too dry.
So who were the favorites? Amanda's combination of ingredients was fantastic. Even Amanda is like, "How did that happen?" Marcus compliments Angelo's knowledge of Ethiopian cooking. And he thinks Tiffany did a great job with hearty flavors. So the overall winner is...Tiffany! Yay! Not Angelo or Amanda, so that makes me happy. And I'm starting to be on Tiffany's team. She's kind of awesome. Ed interviews that he's psyched that Tiffany won, but mostly psyched that she beat Angelo. Aren't we all, Ed? Aren't we all?
To introduce the Elimination Challenge, Padma and Marcus roll in a giant chalkboard with a map of the world on it and nine countries highlighted. I just noticed that Alex has a giant spoon tucked into his chef's jacket. Is that his tasting spoon? His lucky spoon? Maybe it's something that a lot of chefs do, but it's the first time I've ever noticed it. Most of them seem to keep pens in that pocket. Amanda tells us that she's spent her whole life studying French food, so she hopes to get France. She has? I seriously would have never guessed that based on the food she's made so far. Then again, I wouldn't have guessed that she's spent any time studying food, based on the food she's made so far. It's been less than impressive.
Padma explains the Elimination Challenge. They will each choose a country, and have to create one hundred servings of a dish from that country's cuisine for an audience of diplomats and foreign dignitaries. And they won't have any electricity at the reception -- only Sternos, meaning they can keep their food warm, but they won't be able to cook anything a la minute. The cheftestants draw knives to determine their picking order and Tiffany gets 1. The upshot is that no one wants Brazil, because people are probably least familiar with its cuisine. Stephen ends up with Brazil. I've been to a Brazilian steakhouse but given that it was in upstate New York, I doubt it was very authentic. It was the kind where they just come around with kebabs of meat and keep serving you meat and meat and meat until you want to die. At least that was my experience. And they definitely went for quantity over quality. None of it was all that great. So if I were Stephen, I would be making a lot of meat. I'm glad I'm not Stephen.
The shopping begins! Kenny interviews that he survived cancer. Man, his wife died and he had cancer? He's got a black cloud following him around. Anyway, he thinks it gave him mental toughness. Stephen, like me, went to a Brazilian steakhouse, so he's planning on making flank steak. I hope he's planning on marinating it. I went to a butcher and bought flank steak last summer. It was an old Italian guy and he was like, "It's a tough-a cut of-a meat." (Yes, I was living in a cartoon apparently, with the accent.) I told him I was planning on marinating it in balsamic and he said, "Good-a girl." Yay, that Italian butcher approved of my plan! Anyway, he's right. It's a tough cut and if you don't marinate it or tenderize it in any way, it's like shoe leather. I'm sure Stephen knows that. Right?
Kevin is puzzling over his Indian dish, since he doesn't have much experience cooking that cuisine. He's decided to make chicken and mix his own curry blend. This sounds like it's headed for disaster.
The cheftestants arrive back at the kitchen, where they have two hours to prep. Everyone starts chopping and coring and peeling and whatnot. Kelly interviews that she needs to learn to persevere, even when her dish isn't the best in the room. She thinks that's the key to winning. I would argue that the key to winning is making sure your dish is the best in the room, but what do I know? Kelly's strategy is to serve a cold Italian dish, since they won't be able to cook on site. She's making beef Carpaccio. She rolls the beef in spices and sears it quickly, leaving the inside raw. I've never had beef Carpaccio, and I don't know if I could eat raw beef. The texture just doesn't appeal to me.
Ed is busy slicing ginger and adding green tea leaves to something. He interviews that he has China, and he's familiar with Chinese culture because he's had some Chinese girlfriends. Oh, Ed. Really? My husband is 50% Italian, so does that mean I'm familiar with Italian culture? That's a spicy meatball. Anyway, he's making duck and pot stickers, and even without having Chinese girlfriends, I think I could have figured that one out. Because I've eaten at a Chinese restaurant before, and one time I watched Yan Can Cook.
Stephen has marinated his flank steak (yay!) in coffee and peppers (huh?). He needs something acidic to tenderize it. I don't know what he used. He's also serving beans and rice, which seems more Mexican than Brazilian to me, and also kind of simple. Anyway, his plan is to do two components really well, which is the opposite of the Kenny strategy, but maybe it will work out. Kenny is concerned about Stephen's ability to heat up his food.
Tiffany has Mexico, and she's from Texas, so she's really familiar with the cuisine. She's making tamales, but with a twist. I don't really understand, based on her description, what the twist is going to be, but I'm just going to take her word for it. It has something to do with the order of the ingredients, or possibly the quantity of chicken.
Angelo is making tuna sashimi for his Japanese dish. He's really confident in his ability to portray his chosen culture. He's always really confident. And yet, he hasn't been winning as much lately, right? Amanda is making beef bourguignon, which I've actually made myself many times. In my experience, it takes way more than two hours to cook, though. It's a stew, and the meat is browned and then braised, so it needs to cook slowly to have tender pieces of meat and to let the flavors meld together and to thicken the sauce. It's really good, though. I just don't know how you could do a faster version of it. Maybe Amanda does. She's also making pommes fourchette, and my high school French failed me so I looked it up -- that's mashed potatoes.
Alex has Spain, and he's chosen to make braised veal, an olive salad, and a torta, which Google tells me is an omelet-like dish. Why? The veal and salad would be enough. Ed denigrates Alex's planning abilities and adds that Alex is kind of "a spaz." And then we see Alex trip over the rubber mat and dive head first into the counter. Awesome.
Kevin is working on his stewed chicken with curry, and carefully blending his spices. He has Kenny check the flavors for him, because he's nervous. Colicchio walks into the kitchen to talks to the cheftestants. He talks to Alex (who has nothing to say), Tiffany (who I think he might have a little harmless crush on), and Kevin, who he reminds that Padma is Indian and might be tough on him. Thanks for playing, Chef Colicchio! That was kind of useless.
Kenny has Thailand, and he opened a Thai Pan-Asian restaurant, so he thinks his spare ribs will be "full flavored" and delicious. Ed is sprinting around the kitchen, because he's worried he won't finish. There are a number of near-collisions. Everyone is packing up. Ed puts his name on everything like a million times, and can you blame him? Finally, time is up and they all head home for the night.
Kevin calls his family, so that makes me think he is either winning or going home. He interviews that he can be short-tempered so he needs to watch that. His wife is pregnant and he asks her if she can feel the baby moving yet. Aw. I'm sold. Meanwhile, Kelly gets a care package from her husband and she is THRILLED that he included some liquor. Do they not have access to a liquor store? Given how much they get drunk, I find that hard to believe. They all toast her husband for sending it.
It's time to head to the Meridien Center, where they will be serving their dish. It's really beautiful, and the cheftestants notice the space. They have thirty minutes to get ready. Amanda notices that her beef is really dry. Her plan is to cut the beef smaller. I'm not sure how that will make it less dry. It seems like the heat will dry out the small pieces faster? Right? I guess her theory is that the smaller pieces won't be noticed. Who knows what goes on in her head. Meanwhile, Alex takes his tortas out, and I have to imagine they would get kind of rubbery in the chafing dish.
Stephen prepares his food and tries to keep his steak moist and his rice dry. He adds some stock to the rice while heating, and suddenly his rice is overcooked. Oops. There's really nothing he can do at that point. Tiffany is trying to chop up her salsa, and she feels way behind. Everyone else is plating.
The various dignitaries arrive. Kevin explains that he's calling his dish stewed chicken instead of curried chicken, to keep the expectations low. The judges walk in; this week, it's Gail, Padma, Tom, Marcus Samuelsson, and Jose Andres. Ed is up first with his tea smoked duck breast with crispy pot stickers in Szechuan jus. Wisely, he doesn't give the judges the line about his girlfriends; instead, he tells them about a chef instructor he had in culinary school that taught him this dish. Padma thinks the dish is flavorful, and Marcus likes that he had a theme. Andres just says that he doesn't feel that the Chinese are well represented by this dish, but doesn't give any explanation. Thanks, dude! Meanwhile, the guy from the Chinese embassy says that it was very authentic. Ed wanders up and asks him if he has any single female friends in town.
Alex should be nervous, since he has Spain and Jose Andres is Spanish. His dish is braised veal with red wine sauce, olive and tomato salad, and a jamon torta. He claims that it's tapas, and he also claims that it's veal cheeks, when we saw him tell Tom that it's actually veal shank, since he couldn't get the cheeks. I don't know much about bovine anatomy, but I'm pretty sure the shank is nowhere near the cheeks. Not sure why he said that. Alex is confident in his dish. Andres thinks it doesn't work, and Marcus thinks it's unfocused. Gail says that it had no punch.
Stephen offers the judges some marinated flank steak in a chimichurri sauce with black beans, and rice. He even adds some Brazil nuts, and says that he hopes he got some nice flavors for them. Padma likes that he used coffee in the marinade, but Tom points out that when there are only two
main elements, they all have to be good, and the rice is overcooked. Marcus doesn't think it's Brazilian enough, although he doesn't give any examples of what would be better. Also, he's wearing a stupid fedora and I hate it. And then someone from Sweden says that the food would be good if he only paid five dollars for it. Who asked you, Swede-y? And since when are the Swedish experts on Brazilian food. Stick to meatballs and prefab furniture.Kelly explains that she has Italy and made beef Carpaccio with Spring vegetable salad and Parmigiano-Reggiano. She explains that she originally wanted to make gnudi, but then found out they wouldn't have electricity on site, so she changed her plan. Gail likes that she changed her plan based on the parameters of the serving location, and Andres says that cold dishes are difficult. The dude from the Italian embassy thinks that the dish represents Italy better than he does. But what if he really sucks at representing Italy? That's not saying much.
Kevin presents his dish of stewed chicken with leek and parsnip puree, mango and cucumber salad, and lentils. He admits to Padma that it's the first time he's made Indian food. Andres says that the aroma is great, and Padma compliments the lentils. So he got some praise from Padma for an Indian dish. That's something.
Amanda serves up her beef bourguignon with pommes fourchette and horseradish mousse. I don't even see the potatoes anywhere. At least she admits while serving that she doesn't think it's a great dish. But she's studied French food her whole life? How could she have messed up? Gail wonders, "Where's the beef?" I mean, she doesn't actually say that, thank God, but she does wonder why the pieces of beef are cut so small. Andres thinks that the sauce was good, and some random unidentified person sums up that the flavors were good, but the beef was dry. I'd still like to know how she cooked it.
Angelo presents his sashimi of tuna ribbons with candied wasabi and soy infusion to represent Japan. Andres is really impressed with the color of the tuna. Tom thinks Japanese cuisine is all about clean flavors, and while Angelo's dish is good, all of his futzing about just served to cover up the flavor of the tuna. In other words, he overdid it. And then someone from the Austrian embassy comments on how it was authentic. SO WEIRD! If there was no one there from Japan, why not just skip the ambassador commentary?
Tiffany serves her chicken tamales with queso fresco and tomatillo sauce, now with more chicken. Andres thinks both the look and the flavors of the dish say Mexico. I like how he is focused on more than just the taste; he talks about the smells, the look of the dish, etc. Tom says that it's the first tamale he's ever had where he can taste the flavor of the corn husk, which is a good thing. A Bahamian dude says it was amazing and some other random dude says that it popped in his mouth. Again with the random country commentary. I do not understand.
Kenny's Thai dish is tamarind-braised pork spare ribs with rice noodle salad and Thai green curry. Padma likes the flavors, and Gail thinks that the curry has a nice subtle flavor. A random woman says that it's neither too hot nor too bland. She's like the Goldilocks of Top Chef. Too bad they weren't making porridge.
Amanda confesses to Angelo that she used the wrong cut of beef. She's sure that she's going home, unless someone else just totally screwed up. Stephen asks Kelly if there's any chance he'll get to stay, and Kelly starts to assure him that he's safe. Then she admits that she didn't taste the rice and beans, but that he won't go home for the beef. He doesn't say anything, but he knows the problem with his dish was the rice. Oops.
Weird interstitial. Angelo pulls the old prank of putting Saran Wrap on the toilet seat. Stephen (who might be a little tipsy) goes to use it and the pee splashes back up on his balls. Okay, I laughed. But seriously, how old are they? Also, Stephen is a really good sport about it. But I think he was drunk.
Finally, they talk to Ed, who seems like the odd man out this week. Why is he there again? Shouldn't it be Amanda? I guess her sauce saved her. Andres says that the plum sauce was good, but her overpromised and underdelivered. He said that his dish was sweet and sour, but it wasn't. Tom wonders why he didn't render the fat from his duck first. Ed knows exactly what he's talking about and can describe how it should have been, which probably wins him some points with the judges. They are dismissed.
The judges confer. Andres thinks it's a tough challenge because not every chef knows the cuisines of every country. And yet, it seems like the people who were on the bottom weren't there because they misrepresented their country. It was because they cooked something improperly. Stephen effed up the rice. Ed didn't render the fat from his duck, and it wasn't seasoned well. Alex screwed up with his technique, his ingredients, and his presentation. Tom pretty much says that Alex isn't good enough to make a good dish. Ouch. Back in the Stew Room, everyone is surprised that Ed is in the bottom three, including Ed. He's especially upset that he's being lumped in with Alex.
The three chefs return to face the judges and find out who's going home. Tom says that they're all there for lack of technique. Stephen had bad rice, and his sauce was overpowering. Alex didn't show cooking skill at all. Ouch again. Ed had too much fat in his duck and no flavor. So who's going home? It's Stephen. Aw. Everyone will be sad. No one likes Alex and everyone likes Stephen. He's the mascot. In his exit interview, he says that he enjoyed the experience, and he considers it a victory that he even got to be on the show. Classy. Too bad we just saw him pee on his own balls. And week is Restaurant Wars! Angelo goes crazy! Kelly vs. Amanda! Kevin screams at someone in the Stew Room! Can't wait.
Watch the episode below, then see who we think will win!
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