Top Chef says goodbye to Chicago with meat, meat, meat. First stop is a local meat lover's paradise, where the remaining five must don protective gear before butchering a massive, long-bone, dry-aged rib rack into seven French cut tomahawk chops. Then it's back to the kitchen, where guest judge Rick Tramonto wants his chop perfectly prepared, or medium rare.
Stephanie and Richard underwhelm. Antonia uses about eight cups of butter to her advantage, but Spike wins. His butchery is good, and the cockily displayed chops at his station show he knows it. For his skills, he'll enjoy an important decision (but not an advantage) in the last challenge, which involves taking over Rick's steak and seafood shop for a night, with each of them responsible for an appetizer and an entrée. They can choose from whatever they find in Rick's kitchen, and Spike gets first dibs on a protein for each of his dishes.
Spike seals his fate by selecting frozen scallops to start -- everyone else can tell they're crap, but he doesn't think about actual quality until it's too late. Colicchio's back in the kitchen, expediting table service and impromptu tasting menus for guests including surprise three amigos Harold, Ilan and Hung.
Even though Richard serves the favorite appetizer and Antonia the favorite entrée, Stephanie gets Rick's nod for a solid double -- at first it looks like she just wins a cookbook (and the prime slot in the final four with the other two everyone knew would be there), but Padma kindly throws in a bunch of appliances. Spike's frozen scallops prove a bigger sin than Lisa's not-hot shrimp and general apathy, so he packs his hats and she rounds out the final four, meaning it's three ladies, and Lisa, in Puerto Rico. Break out the caftans!Five cheftestants don their whites as Antonia expresses her desire to just get to the final four, already (right there with you), and Stephanie points out that there could be -- for the first time in history -- three "girls" remaining when the show decamps to Puerto Rico. If Spike leaves, there could be four "girls," although it all depends on how you define "girl". Stephanie's expecting a twist, so she's prepared herself for anything.
Anything turns out to be a shitload of meat, with the final Chicago Quickfire taking place at Allen Brothers, purveyors of steakhouse steaks and a host of other items, including pre-made Art Smith delicacies. Specifically, the challenge will involve cutting some dry-aged long-bone rib eyes, but first it's dress-up time. The venerable USDA requires the donning of various garments prior to butchering an animal, including a nifty abdominal plate presumably designed to prevent hara-kiri, a shower cap, a face mask and, for good measure, an Allen Brothers baseball cap, which I'll wager doesn't fall under federal guidelines.
Antonia's concerned because she's not the world's greatest butcher, although she can figure things out by sight. She should watch Spike, who had two butchers for grandfathers -- with "a little strain of butchery" in him, he feels very comfortable cutting meat. And what meat it is -- Andrea's concern about breaking down an entire cow almost becomes reality, as they each sidle up to massive rack of meat laid out before them in a very white room. "An American-raised, long-bone rib eye dry-aged USDA prime rib rack", to be specific, a mouthful of beef that must be cut into quite substantial individual chops with squeaky-clean Frenched bones. In twenty minutes. Which start now.
Using some wickedly sharp knives, the identically clad white army begins hacking. The dry age on the beef is extremely hard, so Richard decides to separate the chops before cleaning the meat. Antonia thinks twenty minutes might be enough time for a skilled butcher, but not for her. As everyone else struggles, amidst plenty of close-ups of knives slicing through sweet, sweet beef, Spike lifts an entire slab of the age off his rack -- he's working to remove the age as quickly as possible, so he can focus on cutting and cleaning the meat itself. He thinks this challenge "is so easy, it wasn't even funny". No, it wasn't funny at all, nor was it grammatically correct. Poor Stephanie, on the other hand, is having difficulty -- handling such big meat is difficult for a small "girl". Lisa knows that one small mistake can have big consequences, and doesn't want to drag her greasy mop off before reaching the final four.
When time is up, the chops are packed and carted back to the Top Chef kitchen, where "legendary" (per Richard) Chicago chef Rick Tramonto (decked out in the colors of a 1970s conversation pit) joins Padma (in blue again). Who decided that adding music to a Web site is a good idea? Because it isn't. After telling the assembled gang, in a pouty monotone appropriate for the eulogy of a loved one, that this is the last Chicago-based competition, Padma elaborates on the second leg of an unusually leggy Quickfire. Well, first she elaborates on Rick Tramonto -- in addition the being legendary, he is also well known and beloved, a James Beard award-winner, a cookbook author, and the owner/chef of Tru and Tramonto's Steak and Seafood. Soft-spoken Rick, known (again per Richard) for "new American food", will evaluate the fruits (actually, the beef) of their labors, as they now have thirty minutes to prepare the perfect steak. A "tomahawk chop", to be exact, which clearly gets its name from its looks.
While this may sound like a cinch, says Padma, "cooking the perfect steak takes a lot of skill", and can be judged by sight by a seasoned chef like Rick, who adds that the challenge is about "butchery and temperature". Rick, like most chefs, it seems, prefers his steak medium rare. Somehow, this convinces Richard that "the challenge has nothing to do with taste or flavor, it happens to do with the doneness of the meat and the butchery of the whole rack". That must be an overstatement, right? If a steak is cooked perfectly but tastes like shit, I imagine Rick would take issue. The amount of seasoning that suddenly meets the chops seems to confirm this. Lisa opines that cooking a medium rare steak should be second nature for any chef (she prefers touch to thermometers, as does this home cook) but that the pressure of the competition can lead one to second guess oneself and do dumb stuff.
Lisa, proving that pigs can fly (or at least say nice things), compliments Spike on his butchery, as Master Evangelos details his thoughts on steak-making. Although he feels this sort of chop really needs 35 minutes, he'll make it work -- the secret to medium rare, you see, is cooking it evenly on both sides (which he'll do with a hot grill, with sprigs of rosemary tucked underneath the meat) until it's "pink all the way through", and then placing it in the oven, which (though it pains me to say this) is just the way I like it done. Richard, realizing that half an hour prevents him from indulging his love of sous vide, goes a traditional route, which involves a large pan and basting.
Stephanie splashes Lisa in the face with something very hot that she's pouring over her steak, and is also concerned about timing, the essence of the challenge for her -- she doesn't want to let the meat rest too long, or not long enough (since resting is indeed a crucial component of the perfect steak). Understandably, she doesn't know if her steak will be cooked perfectly, but she'd rather it be underdone rather than overcooked. Antonia believes that the perfect steak must be cooked with "a lot of love", which for her (as for so many others) means copious amounts of butter, which she uses for basting after achieving a char on both sides to seal in the flavor. Then she lets it rest, before using it induces heart attacks in unsuspecting diners.
Rick begins with Richard. He slices the steak, touches its still rather ruby center, and inquires about the preparation. Richard roasted it, grilled it, and charred it with a torch. Lisa, who has always "wanted to take a week and work in a huge meat factory", pan-cooked hers to what looks like a more traditional medium rare than Richard's. Stephanie used butter, oil, and the stovetop to (indeed) undercook her chop -- Rick slices through it, turns it over, and seems disappointed (although perhaps that was the obvious you-did-bad gong from the sound department). While each cheftestant seems to be displaying their chops at their stations (since Rick is evaluating overall butchery as well as the cooked steak), Spike's confidently arranged his with springs of rosemary. He likes the challenge, since he thinks knows he did well. And he did -- the raw chops look good, and the cooked one looks even better. This challenge makes me hungry. Antonia's butter party looks delectable as well -- Rick just wants to know how long it rested. About five minutes, answers Antonia.
Rick wastes no time choosing Stephanie as one of his least favorites -- first of all, he was obsessed with the butchery, and "a tomahawk steak is almost like a lollipop", nice and clean, which hers presumably was not. Plus, it was undercooked. Stephanie agrees. Richard, guilty of inconsistent butchering that produced steaks Rick could not serve in his steakhouse, also undercooked his meat. Tell me something good, pleads Padma. He thought Lisa's was well cooked, and the rack well butchered. Spike's butchering "was amazing" and his medium rare well done. As for Antonia's, Rick liked "the beautiful, beautiful crust" and the perfect cooking, but ultimately chooses Spike, who's pleased to remind everyone that he's still here, and "here to play hard." No immunity, reminds Padma, but he will "have a really important decision to make" during Elimination. Not an advantage, mind you, but a decision, which, if made wisely, could catapult Spike into the final four. The key here is wisely, which has not been a Spike forte.
After the refreshingly direct (though hardly simple) Quickfire challenge, Padma, in a pair of extremely butt cupping gray pants, explains that Elimination will involve "something very precious to Rick". The five cheftestants will be entrusted with dinner service at Rick's "gorgeous new steak restaurant tomorrow night". Hey, says Rick, this place has gotten lots of awards, and people dig it, so "don't screw it up", because if you do, one of my wiseguys will introduce your kneecaps to his baseball bat, capiche? They must each prepare an appetizer and an entrée, using any ingredients they find in the kitchen at Tramonto's Steak and Seafood, and Spike will enjoy first pick of whichever protein he wants for his appetizer and his entrée. Awesome -- another nice, straightforward, individual challenge; I'm liking the challenges for this episode. Lisa thinks Spike's hard-won responsibility could lock one into a decision one might easily regret, although Spike doesn't strike me as a big fan of regret, despite the poor decisions he made when given a decision much like this one during the boxed lunch challenge. The restaurant is fully booked (of course) -- Padma tells them not to let Rick down, as he issues a final plea for mercy on behalf of himself and his customers.
It looks like the cheftestants got to take their meat back to Chez Chef, as Antonia, Lisa and Spike nosh on hunks of meat and Spike continues to compliment himself on his butchering abilities. Antonia surmises that perhaps the spirit of Spike's butcher grandfather is speaking through him, making Spike a meat whisperer of sorts. Spike agrees with her, all serious, as he voiceovers that he's intrigued by the possibility of a battle of the sexes in the final round, and that Stephanie represents, for him, the most formidable lady competitor. Although he waffles on whether Lisa or Antonia would be stronger, he wants Antonia to leave. Richard has something to prove to Rick, Padma, Colicchio, and anyone else with a pulse, and really wants to make the final four (worry not) because going home now would be just like being the first person sent home.
Tramonto's Steak and Seafood, all appetizing reds and dark woods, looks warm and inviting, if a bit generic. Antonia loves the "beautiful kitchen", but doesn't waste time gazing at the surroundings -- time's started, she says, so pick your proteins, Spike. He has five minutes to make his selections, and starts with the tomahawk chops, a comforting sign of his meaty prowess. He arrived with scallops on the brain, and seizes a bag of frozen scallops in the walk-in, to the surprise of the others -- as Richard says, "He's taking those fucking frozen scallops?" Lisa, also hoping for scallops, sees Spike's choice, thinks they look like crap anyway, and goes for shrimp with a palpable lack of enthusiasm. She'll follow with a New York strip. Antonia grabs an assortment of vegetables and other ingredients, as well as a rib eye, and Stephanie mumbles something to herself about mushrooms and greens as she goes to town with a vegetable peeler and tells the camera that they have three hours to conceive and prepare their dishes. She's doing a tenderloin, she tells Lisa, preceded by an appetizer of sweetbreads -- "the thymus glands of veal" -- there's definitely a psychological barrier to enter, but they are yummy. "Like a chicken McNugget", explains Stephanie.
Lisa, loving the ricer, tells the camera that she's making peanut butter mashed potatoes to go with her steak, which sounds absolutely disgusting -- she wants to show the judges something they haven't seen before, but at some point you have to wonder why, perhaps, peanut butter mashed potatoes have not been seen before. Antonia, julienning vegetables and enjoying the challenge of being dropped into someone's kitchen, given free reign, and told to prepare dinner service, approves of the final challenge. Richard comments on the spontaneity of the whole thing, and explains that he's slicing a fatty piece of hamachi into bacon-like strips, which he'll top with small pieces of sweetbreads, deconstructing a typically Italian dish. Lisa's back is burning, as Antonia has left the wood burning oven door open so that the air can fuel the fire, so it doesn't die. "What if I die?" asks Lisa. "Well then I guess you're not going to Puerto Rico, Lisa", she retorts. You got served, Greasylocks. Lisa admits that her nerves are more intense now -- she doesn't want to be sent packing so close to finals, not after she quit her job and left her life behind to compete.
Spike finally gets around to opening the bag of scallops, and discovers what everyone knew upon sight -- they're a mess. Torn and totally saturated with water, they'll be a bitch to sear, which is what Spike wants to do. Being a chef, he reasons, is about making lemonade out of lemons, as he unfurls paper towels and begins layering them with the scallops, hoping that they will drain and dry enough that he can make them presentable.
Colicchio arrives for his mid-prep eval, and starts with Antonia. She'll begin the evening with "a warm mushroom salad with artichokes and poached egg with bacon vinaigrette", followed by a bone-in rib eye. Spike's choice of tomahawk chops and scallops didn't really alter her plans, she explains, since, although she would have loved to work with scallops, they were frozen, and that's bad. Colicchio grins his agreement, and heads for Stephanie, who seems so engrossed in her work that she has trouble paying attention to and answering his questions. She does manage to articulate that she likes the challenge because it tests individual creativity. Richard confesses that he's nervous before elaborating on his dishes -- hamachi to start, followed by a beef tenderloin, for which the maturing Richard has a growing affection, garnished with potatoes, turnips, and red wine. Colicchio thinks the dishes sound "straightforward" for molecular gastronomist Richard, but Richard reminds Colicchio that he likes to "under promise over deliver" and alludes to some exciting twists. Colicchio's assessment of Richard's menu -- "playing it safe", according to Richard -- ruffles his feathers, apparently because he is playing it safe ("not smoking anything in a plastic bag") since they are cooking at a steakhouse.
Lisa will offer a "grilled and chilled shrimp", with a second course of "New York strip with spicy apple caramel and peanut butter whipped potatoes". Sounds cloying to me; Colicchio grimaces and then determines that Lisa's done this before -- she explains that the flavors work well together, and that the peanut butter offers a hint, as opposed to a mouthful, of nutty goodness. Colicchio's not entirely convinced -- his skepticism makes Lisa want to hide, and his parting "If it's good, it's good" probably doesn't diffuse her concern.
Luckily for her, Spike's using frozen scallops -- while he may have mad butcher skills, he did choose the waterlogged seafood. Colicchio mentions that no one else seemed particularly fazed by Spike's choice of the scallops, since they wouldn't touch frozen ones with a ten-foot pole. Yes, I'm disappointed in them, says Spike, but only after I opened them, because I don't have a problem with using frozen stuff (Colicchio shudders at this heresy, with appropriate sound effect). The quivering pale hunks of scallop do look pretty unappetizing. He'll sear them slowly, with the hope that they won't fall apart. "If I make these things look good, I think I can make anything look good after that". True dat, agrees Colicchio, before assembling the group to let them know that sixty or so guests will arrive in about an hour. Rick, Gail and Padma, along with three V.I.P. guests, will be in the dining room, while Colicchio "will be expediting this meal". For those of us not in trained in restaurant kitchens, that means coordinating the timing of the dishes -- he wants all appetizers out in ten minutes, with entrees following after an all-clear from the servers.
Colicchio's visit screwed with Spike's head -- he's worried, as he should be, about the scallops, but since his scallop mindset drove him to make a bad choice, he's going to do the best he can with what he's got. "It's kind of ironic that I get an advantage and it ends up just biting me in the ass." Doubly ironic since it resembles the chicken salad lunchbox fiasco, except that it's Spike, and not the "advantage", that made the stupid decision, illustrating once again the perils of making selections based on an idea, as opposed to what actually looks good. As Spike struggles to save his scallops, Antonia explains that, with ten minutes to go before service starts, she's grilling her steaks -- they are huge -- and will put them in the oven as orders arrive. Smart girl. Richard reiterates that he wants to make it to the final four -- this time because his wife is at home working hard, and he doesn't want to add Top Chef loser to his list of failures.
Tensions run high as the clock counts down, and just before service begins, Colicchio the expediter summons the gang to introduce them to the three V.I.P. guests, who need no introduction at all. It's Harold, Ilan and Hung, winners of Top Chef seasons one, two and three! Way to build the TC brand. After reminding us that these guys have been in this position in seasons past, Colicchio asks each of them to offer some advice to the nervous cheftestants. Harold, looking uncomfortable as usual, suggests, "Cook your style and just be true to yourself". Hung, espousing his competitive credo, reminds them, "You're here to win, not be fan favorite". Ilan, dressed down for the occasion, counsels, "Don't shave anybody's head tonight". Yeah, and don't be a total douche. Spike's got some competition! Antonia wonders if their experience on the show will make them more or less gentle when it comes to judging, but she also gets that sitting at the judges' table can easily corrupt one with power.
Gail, shimmering a yellow gold top, Padma, sporting a dress that matches the red chairs, and Rick, wearing clothes, join the three winners at the table (where Ilan has doffed his jacket and is now nattily attired in just a t-shirt), as a server fills glasses with Tramonto Red wine. Tramonto logos are everywhere -- wine bottle, plates, big-ass sign outside. No way anyone will forget what this place is, no sir. Colicchio calls orders as they arrive from the dining room, then drops the "surprise" that the judges' table would like a tasting menu that includes everything and will require six smaller portions of each dish on the menu. Lisa explains that while they should have seen this coming, they didn't, which is either a testament to the havoc nerves can wreak on the brain, or to the fact that they are all idiots.
Lisa's first course of grilled and chilled prawns, lemon zest and tomato salad, and crostini strikes Hung as lacking in sugar, although Rick loves the lemon (and Padma agrees). When Gail wonders why Lisa would have chosen to chill the shrimp, Harold offers that chilling the shrimp creates a more subtle shellfish flavor. Richard's riff on vitello tonnato (veal with tuna) includes hamachi with crispy sweetbreads, radish, avocado and yuzu -- which he thinks well represents his style -- impresses both Hung and Rick ("absolutely delicious"). The mix of hot and cold, and the mélange of ingredients, gets unanimous raves, and Rick says he'd put it on his menu "in a heartbeat". Spike's seared scallops with hearts of palm and oyster mushrooms, on the other hand, underwhelms (big shocker). Spike thought it tasted good, and both Harold and Hung seem like they're trying to be kind (Harold mentions acidity in the sauce, while Hung compliments the mushrooms) but Rick looks like he might gag. Padma points out that the hearts of palm do not taste fresh (did Spike use anything fresh), Ilan calls them dehydrated, and Harold drops the pretense, saying everything tastes the same and that there's nothing interesting about the dish.
Stephanie's very pleased with the tastes and texture of her sweetbreads with a sweet and sour sauce of golden raisins, pine nuts, as well as some fennel, haricots verts, and bacon, and the judges agree. Harold would have liked the pine nuts toasted, but over all finds it "really solid". Hung, a sweetbread fan, like the range of flavors and textures, while Gail feels that "exactly what Spike's dish was missing, Stephanie's had". Like flavor, texture and fresh ingredients? The diners graduate from swilling Tramonto Red to Clos Du Bois as Antonia's warm mushroom and artichoke salad, poached egg and bacon vinaigrette rounds out the first course offerings. She's poaching eggs to order, and poaching them well, which elicits kudos from the judges, but Gail feels it's not the strongest appetizer, which Rick goes further. He thinks "the rest of the dish fell apart" into a soggy mess, and Harold calls it "hit and miss".
As service begins on main courses, Richard's slow plating irks Colicchio, but Richard, with "intricate" dishes comprised of many ingredients, doesn't want his art to be rushed. He wants "slow and perfect over quick and half-assed", but taking one's time does not always make for perfection. In fact, he could have spent less time building the separate sections of his beef filet with potato puree, turnips, red wine and pickled Brussels sprouts, as the deconstructed nature of the dish bugs the judges. After Ilan lets everyone know that tenderloin is his least favorite cut of beef (for they spit on them in a Spanish kitchen!), Harold observes that, if one gets a bite of each ingredient together, it all works really well. "Then put everything together!" exclaims Padma, to general assent, as Ilan pipes up again to call it a "project" rather than "a relaxed dining experience".
Lisa's grilled New York strip, apple caramel sauce, peanut butter mashed potatoes, haricots verts and an apple-peanut gastrique makes Gail nervous, but Rick really like the potatoes. He feels that their nuttiness compliments the "smokiness of the beef and the pop of the apple", but Ilan finds the beef under seasoned. Hung agrees, and adds that it's tough, while Gail finds the whole thing unbalanced, and thinks her piece of meat was too thin. That's certainly not an issue with Spike's tomahawk chop, which he's serving with sweet potato puree, Brussels sprouts, and cipollinis. Of course, there are plenty of other issues: Ilan maintains, and the other judges agree, that the meat tastes better without any of the other ingredients. Everything but the chop could have been left off the plate -- the too-sweet potato puree (Gail tastes added honey, which she doesn't appreciate), Ilan wants his mind blown (is that all?), and all Rick can muster is a half-hearted "It's okay".
Stephanie's beef tenderloin with salsify puree, wild mushrooms, and apple sauce strikes Padma as "really gorgeous", while Harold seems impressed that he wants to finish the whole dish, and Hung loves it. What about Ilan, hater of tenderloin? Sadly, we may never know (unless, of course, we spend twelve seconds online, which we are not going to do). Offering words of encouragement, Colicchio seems to be enjoying his role in the kitchen, and Antonia enjoys having him there, in the trenches with the cheftestants as opposed to glaring at them from across the judges' table. She's serving a bone-in rib eye with fennel and cipollinis, along with a shallot and potato gratin served in individual baking dishes. It's the kind of food she -- a self-proclaimed "super picky eater" -- would like to see at a steakhouse. Her colossal steak would not look out of place at a restaurant for giant people -- and this being Chicago, "giant" is open to interpretation. Ilan adores the fattiness of the cut, although he's slightly put off by the incredible richness of everything on the plate. It's Rick's favorite, as he feels it's the "most rounded", by which perhaps he means fattest. As service ends, Stephanie feels confident in her performance -- she doesn't think she could have done anything better -- and while Antonia hopes she'll be headed to Puerto Rico, "Nobody knows". Except for all of us.
Spike commemorates the final trip to the stew room by opening a bottle of wine, although Lisa contends that she could use a Xanax (you and me both). She opts for beer, and offers a truly heartfelt toast to their hard work and lasting bond. Uh, too bad everyone hates you, Lisa. Padma interrupts the revelry to call all five to the judges' table, where Colicchio has transformed himself from jocular co-worker back to stern-faced magistrate. Harold, Ilan and Hung have vanished, leaving Padma, Gail and Rick to join Colicchio in crushing someone's hopes and dreams. Padma starts with Richard, who almost falls for her "How did you feel you did?" trick before telling her to just get the hell on with it and tell him how he did. Had he made the appetizer before? Yes. Would he put it on his menu? With a few tweaks. Tiring of this silly cat and mouse game, Rick steps in to offer some actual feedback: "It was a brilliant dish for me", he says, marred only by too few sweetbreads, but one of his favorite dishes of the evening. The main dish, on the other hand, was inconsistently undercooked (Gail). No mention of the deconstruction, but Richard's safe.
As for Stephanie, Colicchio makes a point of mentioning her unflappability -- despite the pressure, she always seems cool. "Except right now", says Gail. "Well you guys are freaking me out", she laughs, proving Colicchio right. Again, Rick gives specifics. The sweetbreads were excellent -- "They were lush in the middle, they were crispy outside". The sweet and sour worked nicely as well. Padma wonders what Stephanie thought of her entrée, and discovers that Stephanie might have upped the acidity to give the sauce more bite, and that it was a dish Stephanie has never made before. Gail, apparently a proponent of delivering good news before bad, tells Lisa that she loved the lemon in the appetizer, but that she really wished the shrimp had been warm, because the butter tasted "congealed" on the cool dish. Rick admits that he "struggled with the dish", perhaps literally, because he couldn't get his arms around it. After Padma gleans that Lisa has made her main dish in the past, Rick admits that while he wanted to hate the peanut butter potatoes, he didn't. Quick, call Nestle! You got your peanut butter in my mashed potatoes! You got your mashed potatoes in my peanut butter! With better technical execution, thinks Rick, the dish could have been really amazing (nice backhanded compliment). Whatever, Lisa's all smiles, as Colicchio adds that the piece of meat she served him was cooked more on one side than the other, which displeases a meat stickler such as himself.
Antonia cops to cooking exactly what she would want if she were eating at a steakhouse. Rick compliments her perfect egg cookery, but doesn't mention anything about the rest of her salad being a disaster. Colicchio says her entrée "looked steakhouse", with a nice chop nicely charred, and Rick gushes over her "fabulous" gratin. Which leaves Spike, who "fell in love with the tomahawk the other day", and cooked it nicely once again, at least according to Gail. The scallops, however, are another story -- Colicchio wonders why on earth, having come this far, Spike would choose frozen scallops, not to mention frozen scallops that of particularly poor quality. Rick schools him about the fact that being a good chef has a lot to do with decision-making, and that if a vendor showed up with those scallops, a good chef would refuse them and change plans. Sure, counters Spike, but "with all due respect, they were in your walk-in". Rick accepts the shot, bro, for their presence (although there's been a good deal of chatter about who, exactly, brought the scallops into the kitchen, and that they were deliberately planted by the producers as a test, which seems quite plausible, or at the very least a good spin by the Tramonto's people) but reminds Spike that "you gotta take the shot that you used them". Yes, says Spike, I used the frozen scallops, kindly clearing up the confusion since the scallops did appear to prepare themselves. "Wrong decision", pronounces Rick, before Padma sends them back to stew. As though he knows what happens (or at least to make amends for implicating Rick in scallopgate), Spike makes a point of shaking Rick's hand on the way out.
Spike tries to act surprised that he called Rick out, but I think he just wants to talk about his big balls. He also tries to bring conviction to his assertion that he believes he belongs in the final four, but his heart doesn't seem in it. Oh, and by the way, no one wants to go home.
At the table, Colicchio expresses his approval of the challenge: "Each chef was totally self-contained. They had their station, their two dishes, and that's it. No excuses". Indeed -- this was one of my favorite episodes of the season. There wasn't much drama, and there wasn't much comedy, but there also weren't any gimmicks or team challenges -- just plenty of cooking. Gail agrees, pointing out that Harold, Hung and Ilan were all, at different points in the evening, impressed and excited by the cooking, and that there were several flavors never before tasted that were "really clever, really delicious, and a lot of fun". Rick chooses Stephanie as the best performer overall, with solid offerings for both course, and Gail praises her for delivering something new and memorable, which is what really excites her. Richard gets high marks for his innovative and delicious first course, but as Padma notes about his entrée, "the whole should be greater than all your parts", which was not the case. He's saved, however, by the first course, which Gail deems "the single best dish of the night".
Antonia won Rick's heart with her gratin, while Colicchio praises her main course as "my favorite of all the steak dishes". Gail appreciates Antonia's "insightful" cooking "from the heart", which shows on her plate, even if her (unmentioned) salad was a bit of a mess. Citing "big issues" with both of Spike's courses, Colicchio says that, like Spike, he's a huge fan of "simplicity in cooking", but that when one cooks "simple and naked", one needs to make every single thing taste divine. And using frozen scallops was a bonehead move. Rick says that he loves Spike's spunk (okay, there's a bit of comedy, of the gross-out variety) and his fire (for which they make antibiotics), but that he was expecting more based on Spike's handiness with a butcher knife and a grill.
, Colicchio drops the bomb that he thinks Lisa, with her cooking (especially in this challenge), is "slightly apathetic to what she's doing", which strikes me as one of the most insulting things one could say about a chef and, in the grand scheme of things, a greater offense than using frozen scallops (not that Spike isn't a turd in general). Padma's take is that Lisa "has an amazing palate", but that she focuses on flavor at the expense of technique. "But technique is how you make flavor", says Colicchio, which inspires Padma to skip a response and move straight to comparing the respective shortcomings of the people everyone knew would be in the bottom two.
It's a tough call -- Rick mentions that Colicchio's words of wisdom ("It's a cooking competition") have been in his head all through the challenge, so he's trying to stay focused on the food, rather than on the personalities. The judges wrestle with whether Lisa's shrimp or Spike's scallops were the worst appetizers, because they were both pretty awful (although Rick saw a glimmer of hope in Spike's). They agree that Spike put much more work into his dish that Lisa did hers, but that the focus needs to be on the main dishes, since both firsts were atrocious. Unfortunately, Spike's attention to salvaging the scallops both failed and short-shrifted his tomahawk chop, which the judges agree did not showcase a great deal of effort. Ready the hatboxes, Spike -- you're going home.
But first, Colicchio praises the remaining five for making it through twelve Quickfires and Eliminations (I can attest that it's been grueling season). As the cheftestants join hands (it's Hands Across the Judges' Table!), Padma turns the floor over to Rick, who proclaims Stephanie -- "the one that really stuck out and really brought the whole thing together for me in both appetizer and entree" -- the big winner. She looks genuinely surprised, very local girl done good, and Richard looks like he wants to cry. Rick offers Stephanie a copy of his new cookbook, which will complete Stephanie's collection since she already has the other two, and which seems like a crummy prize until Padma throws in "your very own suite of GE Monogram kitchen appliances". Yes, please. GE? Are you there? I just mentioned your product -- can I have some too? Stephanie's pumped for Puerto Rico, where she'll land as the one to beat, and dutifully expresses gratitude for her GE Monogram appliances. Look, I just mentioned GE Monogram again!
Richard, with the favorite appetizer of the evening, and Antonia, with the favorite entrée, will be joining Stephanie in the Clintonian hamlet of Puerto Rico. The three newly minted and very excited finalists leave the kitchen for a group hug, leaving Lisa and Spike to get their asses handed to them. Before starting in on this week's performance, Colicchio offers a recap -- Lisa's been on the bottom at judges' table five times to Spike's seven, and that combined with the judges' recent comments should mean that so neither of them is surprised to be standing there right now. Colicchio feels that Lisa lacks drive and ferociousness "when it comes to some of the ingredients that you're working with and some of the things that you're doing". Plus, the shrimp dish sucked. Your talk contains passion and drive, but your walk, alas, does not.
Spike, says Colicchio, makes poor choices -- "everything that goes on the plate is there by design", he continues, and serving the scallops was "a huge mistake". Colicchio appreciates Spike's lip service to simplicity, but "if you're going to cook using very simple flavors, everything has to be perfect". And since it wasn't, Spike offers his thanks and his hand to the judges, hugs it out in the stew room, talks about how amazing he is, and packs his knives and his haberdashery. Lisa, on the other hand, promises to "bring it" to Puerto Rico, and whatever "it" is, it isn't her greasy hair. Based on the previews, she's lopped it off in favor of a short, spiky 'do which looks like an improvement (albeit of the icing on a turd variety). It's just my luck that I'll be out of commission for part one of the big finale and the unveiling of Lisa's new coif (so Spike will be there in a way), but there will be a superb and well-versed sub, and I'll be back to recap the last episode, so please don't get too upset. Team Stephanie!