Colicchio delivers a bummer of a wake up call -- Quickfire involves taking turns at the egg station in the kitchen of a crowded Chicago breakfast institution. It's a crap place to spend time, but Antonia's calm demeanor nets her the ultimate prize -- a job on the egg station! She also gets to choose her team for the challenge, and selects Richard and Stephanie to fight beside her in...drum roll, please...restaurant wars. They'll aim for gastro pub fare. Dale, with Lisa, Spike and, of course, Asian food, wins the coin toss for his team's executive chef position and takes a pragmatic approach -- he's stuck with the same bunch of wedding wars losers, minus one, so that's got to be better. Right?
Colicchio and his gypsy scarf decamp for greener philanthropic pastures, leaving guest head judge Anthony Bourdain to eviscerate the cheftestants. And to introduce the help -- each team gets an extra pair of hands, culled from the last four rejects. Mai Buddha -- the Asian gang -- selects Jen, while gastro pub Warehouse Kitchen nabs Nikki, because Antonia needs someone to roll out the pasta. At some point, Jose Andres shows up.
Warehouse Kitchen works without issue and knocks it out of the park, with Stephanie taking the win and a piece of cardboard that can be exchanged for a trip to Spain. Mai Buddha implodes over a brown avocado and three bad attitudes. Plus, ending a dining experience with something that calls to mind vomit and wood chips, or baby food and potpourri, just isn't a good idea, and Dale (Dale!) packs his knives for presiding over an ambitious failure.
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It's morning in Chicago -- and this time it's really morning, as it isn't even starting to get light out yet. 5:45 A.M., to be exact, and Colicchio walks through the front door of Chez Chef, no doubt bearing wonderful news, and summons six surprised, sleepy people downstairs. It looks like Spike, taking advantage of vacancies, has pushed two beds together to create a larger bed. Schemer. Once the group has assembled in the kitchen, Colicchio informs them that the reason for the early morning visit is a field trip to a Chicago breakfast institution,where they'll all be cooking. For Quickfire, they'll man the short-order egg station, which translates into one of the worst wake-up calls ever. Spike points out that cooking eggs requires incredible precision, and that any chef will tell you that a short-order egg station is one of the most difficult jobs around.
Getting to the final four is the immediate goal, at least for Antonia and Stephanie -- winning would be nice, but after working hard (with difficult competition where there's no room for error, yes, thank you, Stephanie) a slot in the final four would feel really good. With that, and Spike's "Let's get the egg out of here," they're off. The early morning reveille precludes any discussion of missing Andrew, and what a fine chef and solid guy he is, and how his absence will be felt, so this is me pouring some beer on the ground in his memory.
Lou Mitchell's, self-proclaimed servers of the world's best coffee (is it?), is packed -- it's a decades-old institution, everybody loves it, it's massive, and, admits Dale, it's intimidating. Owner Helene, a solid woman who looks like she takes no guff, will be judging the Quickfire, which will see each of the six remaining chef-testants take a turn individually staffing the egg station. The winner will be the individual Helene would hire, were someone pointing a gun at her head. Spike's got years of short-order cook experience, but it's been a long time since he's cooked a copious amount of eggs.
Helene introduces the chefs to "the hole," "where a lot of the action takes place," and to Martine, whom they can watch to get a sense of the flow. She will be joining Helene to scrutinize the chefs' performances. Spike senses a general nervousness based on Helene's sales pitch -- calling her "hardcore," he does a decent impression of her smoker's growl and her take on the challenge: "It's hell, you're gonna die, you're gonna hate that you came here, and you're never gonna cook again." Sounds like disaster awaits. Antonia and her YO BIOTCH t-shirt are up first -- she's psyched to jump into a line because she likes to test herself. She concentrates on remaining calm, moving as fast as she can, and repeating orders. She's flipping potatoes, she's flipping eggs, and as Helene waves her out to make way for the victim, it appears she's done a fine job.
"Being methodical in your movements" is, according to Spike, the key to being a successful short-order cook. In this case, I think it's cooking eggs well, but whatever. There are shots of Stephanie, Dale, Richard (wearing his super sexy black headband again, and wrecking my concentration, that sly devil), and Spike rushing in to take their turns before we settle on Stephanie. She appears horrified that the poached egg pot is a huge, hot, swirling mess of leftover egg whites, and she can't see anything she's doing (more concerning to me is the fact that as she leans over two flaming burners to peer into the pot, she looks like she's about to catch herself on fire). Helene nods knowingly. Then she flips -- and ruins -- a pan of eggs as Helene grimaces and looks unimpressed.
Richard gets frazzled over all the "audibles" (a term I've never heard, although I've never worked in a kitchen, as I'm sure most of you have already guessed) and the "diner lingo." Lisa melts a Styrofoam box that's been set out for a to-go order. Spike doesn't appear to be taking his own advice. Dale gets assaulted by an order-barking, four-waiter tag team, but feels confident that he's managed adequately. For as much as I'm sure that challenge sucked (if it wasn't completely staged, which is a distinct possibility), TPTB breezed through it pretty quickly -- I guess watching someone fuck up eggs over and over again isn't compelling television (which makes it a perfect fit for this season).
After Helene compliments all six for doing a great job under difficult circumstances, Colicchio, draped in a scarf that makes him look like Jude Law on steroids, reminds her that she can only hire one of the fresh-faced cooks. The decision came down to two people, she explains: Antonia, calm, controlled, and accepting of direction, and smooth-operating Dale. She chooses Antonia, making her a four-time Quickfire champion, and Colicchio assures her that, as the winner, she will enjoy an advantage in the upcoming elimination. An elimination that Colicchio won't be around to enjoy, as he's taking off for a charity event right after handing Antonia a piece of paper with an address, where they will find Padma and more about what's to come.
Chicagoan Stephanie doesn't know the address, so they use their phone to find it (what will they think of ?). The arrive at a large brick building that contains an airy, blank canvas of a space with wood floors, white walls, exposed beams and high ceilings. An old warehouse, perhaps. It's perfect for something, but what could that be? Padma, nicely lit and bedecked in black, stands in front of several stacks of chairs. "You worked someone else's line this morning," says Padma, "and tomorrow night, you'll be working your own." That's right, it's restaurant wars, exhumed! Amidst smiles and gesticulations and general merriment, since this is the reason they're all here (well, today it is), Lisa explains that her initial goal was to make it "through," not just "to," restaurant wars.
Two teams of three will take possession of one end of the raw space, and will share a kitchen, to create two one-night-only restaurants that will each welcome about 35 guests, using $1500 for food and a whopping $5000 for décor, courtesy of Pier 1 Imports. Antonia's Quickfire win enables her to choose the two chefs with whom she will work -- in a move that surprises no one, she selects Stephanie and Richard, based on common temperament and level professionalism, leaving Dale, Lisa and Spike to work together (and recreating the teams from Wedding Wars, minus Andrew and Nikki). It's like a rematch, thinks Stephanie, albeit one that, short of a crazy upset, breaks no new ground on the inter-personal front and promises a boring competition with a predictable ending.
Dale admits that he'd have chosen the same people Antonia did, but expresses optimism that this time, the team will do better -- Nikki didn't suck too badly, but at least it's one less loser personality to deal with, he says convincingly. Padma wishes them luck and leaves them with an hour to plan. As Richard shifts into executive chef mode, he tells the camera that it took him four months to open his eponymous restaurant (and how long did it take to close?). They only have twenty-four hours to create what will be a gastro pub -- "fine-dining food but in a very relaxed atmosphere." Dale, Lisa and Spike select the name Mai Buddha and Asian fusion cuisine (shocker) for what Lisa hopes will be a place with a "good vibe, good energy, Asian feel." Both she and Dale want to be executive chef (has Spike even vied for the title once yet?), so they flip a coin and Dale wins. Dale thinks that "Asian guy, Asian chef, Asian restaurant" adds credibility, but only if things are done well, and Lisa expresses concern that they won't be, since Dale's pissed off his share of people, not least of whom are the two that he's now got to supervise. Their planning discussion looks tense, as they bicker about soup and spice, but Spike wants them all to come together, act like adults, and work to send one of the top competitors home. "That's gonna make me very happy." Really, it's no wonder he hasn't been sent home -- who would fill all the interview time?
Turns out the $1500 (and an hour at Whole Foods) must go toward stocking a completely bare larder -- ah, no Top Chef kitchen, no Top Chef pantry. Mai Buddha finds some of what they need unavailable, and settle on a substitute for their sticky rice. They leave Whole Foods with two dollars, and on the way to Pier 1 Imports, Lisa, who's kind of like and angry Buddha, says that Mai Buddha got officially excited. Spike and Stephanie take front of house duties, with Spike focusing on all things long, red, and Buddha, and Stephanie zeroing in on simple and white. They return to the space with only five hours until service. Stephanie's ready to rumble, but Mai Buddha has beat her to the punch -- Dale and Lisa are already arguing, as Spike looks exasperated but pleased to be out of the kitchen, decorating the dining room. Setting up all that furniture looks like a huge pain in the ass.
At Warehouse Kitchen, aka the modern American gastro pub, Antonia is executive chef, Richard is chef de cuisine, and Stephanie is out front serving "simple, beautiful, clean, well-executed flavors." Their first course will be a beet and goat cheese salad with ras el hanout (again!) or linguine with clams; second course will be trout with cauliflower and hazelnut brown butter or "lamb squared," a red wine braised leg and a seared, roasted loin. Dessert will be Stephanie's gorgonzola cheesecake or Richard's recycled banana scallops. Spike Buddha-fies the dining room, and Lisa explains Mai Buddha's menu (no, that's my Buddha): shrimp laksa or pork and pickled plum pot stickers to start, butterscotch miso scallops (oh, nasty) or braised short ribs to follow, and halo-halo or mango sticky rice for dessert.
Antonia's back to her "Dale cooks only Asian food" song and dance, and says it's no surprise they're opening "a Chinese restaurant." Why the hate, Antonia? Spike, taking time out from the dining room to deploy his "own one dish" signature, takes the braised short ribs -- long, slowcooked, can be left alone. As Stephanie manhandles dough in a bowl, Antonia explains that they stupidly didn't buy any back up pasta, which is already on the menu, so the stuff Stephanie's got in the bowl has got to work.
Turns out the acerbic Anthony Bourdain will be stepping in as head judge while Colicchio's doing good deeds -- apparently catching everyone off guard as he strides into the kitchen. They keep working, acting nonchalant, but you know they're even more nervous now that Bourdain will be bringing his "warmer, sunnier disposition" to the proceedings. Spike confirms that -- while he just loves Chef Bourdain (or "Anthony," as Spike calls him), he also knows that he's traveled all through Asia, knows a lot about Asian cuisine, and, of course, has many a strident opinion. Spike thinks "Dale's pissing his pants a little bit."
Bourdain starts his mid-cook inspection with Warehouse Kitchen, as Antonia explains the division of labor -- Stephanie took front of house based on her experience with opening a restaurant (and presumably because both women wanted to keep Richard as far away from the guests as possible) and, in response to your question, Chef Bourdain, will not be using a "smoke gun" today. Bourdain tells them they seem on-track with a simple, well-executed menu, and moves on to Mai Buddha. Upon learning that Lisa will be cooking shrimp laksa as a first course, Bourdain professes his love of laksa, which makes Lisa visibly uncomfortable (or maybe that's just being awake for her). No, she's definitely feeling the pressure, since Bourdain knows from laksa -- after confirming that all three of Mai Buddha team members were immediately on board with the Asian concept, Bourdain wishes them luck and leaves, then offers his take to the camera.
Warehouse Kitchen, says Bourdain, is "deliberately creating modest expectations" that should not be too difficult to exceed. Basically, they're playing it safe, while Mai Buddha's menu could either soar or go down in flames. Asia's pretty big, observes Bourdain, it's tough to be everywhere food-wise, and, by the way, he has extremely high standards for laksa. If they manage to pull it off, it'll be an inspired accomplishment, and if they don't, it will be a spectacular failure. Two different teams with two different concepts should add up to one very interesting meal.
But first (of course) there's a twist -- an unusually beneficial one, in this case. Bourdain reveals that, due to the punishing demands of restauranteuring, each team will enjoy one extra pair of helping hands. He gestures with a flourish ("Maybe you know these people from such shows as...this one") as the last four rejects -- Jen, Nikki, Mark and Andrew -- file into the kitchen. Antonia only has eyes for the women, because either Jen or Nikki can roll out the pasta, which Warehouse Kitchen desperately needs. Because Warehouse Kitchen (or, as Bourdain calls them, "Team Woodstock") was constructed by choice, Bourdain lets the dreggy Mai Buddha ("Team Altamont") choose first: Dale selects Jen, which Lisa thinks (and I agree) is a very smart decision. That leaves Nikki and her sporadic pasta-making skills for Warehouse Kitchen.
With three hours until service, things get bumpy for Mai Buddha. In making avocado puree for his halo-halo, Dale accidentally uses one brown avocado, which turns the entire batch into an unappetizing greenish-gray that could have been lifted from a 1970s Formica sample. Jen helpfully offers that it tastes good, it just looks...uh, disgusting, and Dale starts pouring olive oil into his Robot Coupe in a salvage attempt. Lisa observes that this incident throws Dale more than an executive chef should be thrown. Cut to Dale looking frazzled and cursing, face beaded with sweat. Lisa yells because someone took her rice off the stove -- wait, can Lisa actually cook rice? She informs Dale that "the rice is not done, buddy," and then informs us that she doesn't want to create a conflict with Dale (as he tells her to stop freaking out), and that she will be a mature adult by meeting his deteriorating attitude with a crap attitude of her own. It may not be appropriate, she observes, but that's how it's going to be -- one shitty mood begets another, and Mai Buddha begins a slow descent into chaos.
Warehouse Kitchen's clams get a second bath due to grittiness -- Antonia explains that it's about collective rather than individual effort and that they are looking to the full collection of dishes to keep them all safe from elimination. Mai Buddha has a different approach -- Lisa's laksa base (incorporating smoked chicken carcasses) tastes far too smoky, based on repeated sampling by Dale and Spike, but since it's not Dale's soup, he doesn't know how to fix it, and while Spike thinks Lisa should have asked him for his recipe, he believes he cannot be held accountable for what looks to be abysmal laksa (or, really, for the food in general, other than the short rib).
When the black-clad waiters show up, Stephanie makes sure to emphasize that they want to have "fun," to give people "really good food with some tasty beer" in a relaxed atmosphere. She explains that eating and drinking should be fun, not stuffy, like wearing a suit and tie. Oh, look, Spike's changed into a suite and tie! He's arranged one table to his specifications, and expects the waiters to complete the others according to his model while he disappears for twenty minutes. He should continue to avoid the kitchen, where Lisa's discovered that her sticky rice "is not sticky AT ALL." She's pissed because she's been "forced into doing mango sticky rice" since Dale's focused on the halo-halo. Poor Lisa suffers so much buffeting by forces outside of her control. Dale suggests folding in a pastry cream to make the rice sticky, which works well from a flavor perspective, but falls flat where texture is concerned -- it looks like a pan of hot Vaseline. As time ticks away, Richard explains that this experience of opening a restaurant is just like...opening a restaurant. Way to be observant.
As service begins, Stephanie ushers clients through the tastefully-appointed dining room as Antonia recalls the disastrous nature of past restaurant wars -- no one has ever done well. In the starker Mai Buddha room, Spike's feeling like the underdog, and will work as hard as he can to make sure he's part of the final four. The judges start the evening at Warehouse Kitchen -- this week's judges are Padma, Bourdain, Ted Allen, and guest chef Jose Andres (enjoy the music!), who may be a genius chef, but is not a genius television host -- his voice is almost unendurable. Maybe TPTB agree, since he's only guest-judging for half an episode. Stephanie looks uncomfortable in her dress as she mentions that Jose is known for "going outside the box."
"That does not say gastro pub," someone who sounds like Ted says about something. Regardless, Kitchen Warehouse's first courses -- the beet salad with goat cheese and ras el hanout spices and the linguine with littleneck clams, pork sausage and horseradish crème fraiche -- go over well. The Stephanie-made linguine is better than Bourdain expected (high praise), while Jose goes further, loving the texture of the pasta. Ted compliments the goat cheese -- boucheron -- in the salad, Padma pronounces something -- or everything? -- "delicious," and a guest praises the sausage in the linguine. , according to the simple menu, is the trout with cauliflower puree, caramelized cauliflower, and hazelnut brown butter, and the lamb loin and braised lamb leg served with Jerusalem artichokes and spiced honey. Both presentations are quite attractive, although the lamb elicits raves. Bourdain is truly effusive about the lamb -- he loves how it's cooked and presented, the sauce, and the way the ingredients work together. Ted digs the skin left on the trout, Jose just thinks, "My God," and Padma, joking around, says they're not joking around.
Dessert offerings are the savory gorgonzola cheesecake with sweet potato puree and concord grape sauce (from Antonia's lunch box) and Richard's sliced and seared banana "scallops" with banana guacamole and chocolate ice cream. Bourdain and Ted concur on their dislike of the smear, here found beneath the ice cream -- particularly the brown kind ("It reminds me of New York City sidewalks," says Ted -- yeah, after you rub your face on them, Allen), while Padma, confounding her expectations to hate the cheesecake, loves it. Credit is given for level of difficulty, and for toying with sweet and savory; as for the scallops, Jose likes chocolate, and think the use of cilantro was bold (it was!). It didn't work for Bourdain, but he can respect it anyway. Ted proclaims the entire experience "very interesting," and the judges decamp for Mai Buddha. Someone has finally done well in a restaurant war.
Jose thinks Mai Buddha "has a nice feeling," while Bourdain thinks the silver tablecloths and purple napkins (oh no you didn't, Spike) give off a "back of Prince's van" vibe. For Ted, it's "more Aerosmith from the mic stand." Those few seconds reveal so much about four individuals. The tablecloths and napkins do not work at all with the redder Buddha-esque tone of the rest of the room, and it pretty much goes downhill from there. As she's plating her laksa, Lisa says she feels she's made her first serious mistake in the competition (I'm sure others beg to differ) and that she'll suffer. That would be unusual for her! Dale's freaking out at the waiters, calling them "fucking assholes." Lisa kind of agrees with the sentiment, but thinks his delivery could better.
Padma expresses delight at the sight of the pork and pickled plum pot stickers, while Jose eagerly awaits Bourdain's reaction to the laksa, which looks afflicted with a gummy clot of noodles. "Too damn smoky," says Bourdain. Padma's excitement about the "slammin' dumplings" continues as she ingests them, and Ted appreciates the their char. Spike takes a moment out from his dining room duties to enter the kitchen and offer his version of constructive criticism: the short rib portions should be bigger. Lisa's annoyed that he would dare question her, but when he suggests comparing it to the large piles of scallops, he may have a point, even if Dale thinks he's a "fucking idiot."
The braised short ribs with pickled red cabbage and apple basil salad again excites Padma, who loves a short rib, but the butterscotch miso scallops with spicy eggplant and pickled long beans apparently tastes even worse than it sounds. "Like Willie Wonka scallop," offers Bourdain, while one baffled guest can only say, "I don't know what, exactly, we're eating." There's some yelling and confusion in the kitchen, as Lisa snaps at Dale and Dale snaps at Lisa. Dale (looking thoroughly spent) says that Lisa's too negative, doesn't like the fact that he's executive chef and can't take criticism. In fact, she takes it even worse than he does. Should be an interesting round at the judges' table. Spike shows up with some beers and a few words of encouragement, Lisa pours some beer, Dale yells at her for drinking, she responds that she's not drinking, Lisa thinks Dale's unhappy with his choices, that he can't handle being executive chef and is blaming her, blah blah blah fishcakes.
Mai Buddha's menu winds it up with the halo-halo with cantaloupe, coconut, kiwi, avocado, candied nuts, and a sprig of cilantro and the mango sticky rice with toasted coconut. While Bourdain doesn't love the halo-halo, it's a flavor spectrum he knows well and "arguably they did it right." Jose thinks it makes a great idea for dessert -- yeah, "compared to this atrocity," says Padma, holding up the mango sticky rice, "it wasn't bad." While Ted takes offense at the lack of knife skills and dull presentation, Bourdain likens it to "baby vomit with wood chips." The dinner guests, filling out their comment cards, seem to agree, as the Kitchen Warehouse staff visits their tables and Spike wants to know what a table of women wrote about him. As the chef-testants pack up their equipment, Spike explains that, despite the "poor" performances of Dale and Lisa, his guests never had an inkling of what was going in the kitchen -- they just knew it was turning out bad food.
Back at HQ, Padma summons Warehouse Kitchen to the judges' table, surprising no one with the news that they've won. Proclaiming himself "really impressed" by the entire effort, Bourdain breaks it down dish by dish. The beet salad? Richard's, and "one of many smart decisions." The pasta? Stephanie. Jose thought it was "perfectly cooked" and "very successful." The gorgonzola "thing?" Stephanie again and -- hey, wait, what about the rest of the meal? Ted thought it was nice and enjoyed the grape syrup, and with that, Padma turns it over to Jose to choose the winner. Seriously, not a word about the rest of the dishes? Even the judges are bored by the obvious way this challenge unfolded. The fact that Warehouse Kitchen so handily won kind of diminishes the level of achievement here -- they pretty much nailed the challenge, which must be incredibly hard to do. For great teamwork and excellent conceptual choices, Jose chooses Stephanie, who also receives a Journey Pod-branded piece of cardboard that can be traded for a culinary tour of Spain -- airfare to Barcelona, four-star accommodations and a guided wine tour for her and a guest. I bet Richard's wishing he'd held on to that Crate and Barrel gift certificate right about now. Stephanie also doesn't have to lower the boom on anyone, since Mai Buddha's obviously the losing team.
Padma tells them that the restaurant guests, in addition to judges, thought they were the weaker team (I wonder if the guests got to try both, or if this factoid was culled from the comment cards). Citing some "very unpleasant aspects to this meal," Bourdain starts with the choice of tablecloths and the napkins. Spike claims "all three of us" selected the silver and purple pairing, which cracks Dale up, as Spike mentions that they didn't get their first choice -- what first choice could possibly lead you to purple and silver as your second? Regardless, Bourdain feels the décor amplified the high hopes for this eatery, announcing itself "as the sort of place where a greasy dumpling would be unforgivable, rather than the sort of place where a greasy dumpling would be a delight." Damn, he's good.
Butterscotch scallops? Dale's dish, which he admits he thought was "a little sweet." "A little?" asks Padma. "Nothing seemed to work," says Jose, as Bourdain adds that just the combination of the words butterscotch and scallops together is off-putting, not to mention what "looked like a melted candy bar" on the plate. The laksa, says Bourdain, "was like putting my nose into a campfire," an excessive smokiness for which Lisa takes full responsibility. Bourdain and Ted ascertain that Spike thought of laksa in the first place, but that he makes it differently than Lisa, and that Dale, as executive chef, doesn't know laksa, so he had to trust Lisa and Spike on this one. This strikes Bourdain as a bad idea in general and me as a really bad idea in this case.
Jose thought the short rib "was the highlight" of the menu, and asks who made them. As Lisa, in close-up, gestures toward Spike, a voice that sounds like Dale's says, "I made the ribs." Bourdain asks about any disagreement, and what looks to be a big blowout gets resolved more smoothly than anything this team has done yet: Spike conceptualized the dish and told Dale how to braise them, and Spike gives both Lisa and Dale credit for executing on his vision. See how easy it can be?
Speaking for all the judges, Bourdain says he thought the mango sticky rice -- "Definitely not the way that I've ever made it before," says Lisa, since the grocery didn't have the right kind of rice -- "was a pretty appalling dish." Since Bourdain got his zinger in during dinner, he lets one of the other guests characterize the rice: "baby food garnished with potpourri." A dirty diaper filled with curry! Bigfoot's dick! Dale and Lisa argue about which one of them, literally, lifted the substitute rice off of the grocery shelf, until an exasperated Bourdain tells them to shut up. Jose thinks their evident lack of teamwork "is not what this business is all about." Ouch.
Jose also observes that Spike's focus on the front room belies a desire to wash his hands of Dale and Lisa's squabbling, which was a decent strategy this week. It was hard work hanging all those Buddhas, says Spike, and when Bourdain asks him to identify what went wrong, he plays a bit dumb and chalks it up to poor communication. Duh, says Bourdain's face and Padma's finger. Dale maintains that the time for an executive chef to deal with sass and attitude is after service is complete, while Bourdain maintains that if service isn't operating according to his expectations, whoever's making trouble will get "a world of shit unloaded on them." There's some he said/she said bickering about how Lisa answered a question about salad seasoning. "You're only as good as your weakest link," says Dale. "You're only as good as your leader," counters Lisa. Spike looks to be enjoying himself immensely.
Go away, says Padma, and opines that there's "plenty of blame to go around on this team." "All working at cross purposes from the beginning," thinks Bourdain, as Jose compliments Spike for his smart strategy of getting out of the kitchen and away from the bad Dale/Lisa juju. Not only that, he managed to "do his job properly," says Padma. Damn, he's safe again. Dale, thinks Ted, could easily be sent home for the scallops, with "that ridiculous, glopped-on, horrible butterscotch sauce," while Bourdain thinks he sucked as a manager, conceptualizer, and executer. Lisa, on the other hand, created some of the worst problems, says Ted, and Padma mentions that, in making two dishes she'd made before, Lisa totally "botched both of them." Bourdain highlights her defiant posture and attitude, and her difficulty accepting criticism from the judges, or from anyone for that matter, as she bitches to Spike in the stew room, under her breath but loud enough for Dale to hear. Dale tells her that if she has something to say, she should say it to his face.
"You all had to use a lot of skills during restaurant wars that aren't required in other challenges," says Bourdain, before telling Dale that on both leadership and the scallop dish, "You fell down, and you fell down hard." If Dale could see that this was a dysfunctional group (um, even Helen Keller could see that), it was his job to compensate for that. Lisa, on the other hand, made a laksa that was overpowered by smoke, and the rice pudding "blew it all." At least I think that's what he said -- I can't be sure. Spike, "through guile, or luck, however it happened," chose a good week to be in the dining room. "Dale," says Padma, "Please pack your knives and go." Sad to say, he pretty much deserved that, even though I think he's a more talented chef than either Spike or Lisa. After thanking the judges for the opportunity, and maintaining that making bad choices doesn't make you a bad chef -- no, just a bad person -- Dale gets a round of hugs from Warehouse Kitchen and Spike while Lisa pouts in the corner. He explains that you either love him or you hate him and that he can live with his elimination since he busted his ass. He tears up when he says something unintelligible but nice about Antonia, Richard and Stephanie, and intimates that he knew he'd be going home and feels like he disappointed people (awww). He leaves for someplace where he can continue cooking.