Lycheegate

By Keckler

Dude, this episode was awesome! First off, for the sushi Quickfire we have Mia getting quietly sick behind some pallets down at the L.A. docks (If this were a soap opera, she'd be pregnant and have amnesia by week.), and Cliff winning the prized immunity with his mango'd oysters and hamachi and spot prawns presentation.

The cheftestants are split into two teams for the Elimination Challenge -- Team Korea and Team Vietnam -- and tasked with preparing two dishes using the flavors of their particular country. They will serve those dishes to a thousand Los Angelenos at a Project by Project charity event. Team Vietnam starts off strong with Josie and her "the better to eat you with, my dear" teeth fully in charge. On the other hand, Team Korea gets dinged with the Loser Music as they get drunk on sangria while attempting to plan their menu. Well, I should note that the boys of the team get drunk while Marisa and Elia just get annoyed.

The day, the teams shop for their food and while Team Vietnam clearly rocks, Team Korea gives us the first (and hopefully not last) scandal of the season -- they steal food! Well, not really, but almost. They get fixated on having lychees in one of their dishes, and manage to leave the Korean grocery store without paying for an entire case of them. Otto mentions this to the ENTIRE team as they load up the car, and I want it RIGOROUSLY NOTED that NOT ONE of his teammates suggested they go back in and pay for the lychees. NOT ONE! Instead, somehow the whole debacle gets pinned on Otto's shoulders when it all comes out later. During the preparation of her panna cotta dessert, Marisa is so overcome with lychee guilt that she tattles to Colicchio. Not that I think they shouldn't have told him, mind you, I simply think that more than just Otto were complicit in Lycheegate. Colicchio gets pissed and sends Otto off to return the purloined lychees, and Team Korea is down one as they scurry to complete their dishes.

Ming Tsai arrives as guest judge, and Team Vietnam -- dry and mispronounced pho aside -- is the winner. The individual winner is Betty for the rather singular reason that she smiles largely and a lot. In an unprecedented move of handing out gifts to winners, Ming presents Betty with an expensive and very rare sashimi knife, so it's nice that she got a good return on that capped-teeth investment.

As Team Korea appears before the judges and everyone throws Otto to the wolves for Lycheegate, Elia proves herself to be far and away my favorite cheftestant of the entire lot. She tells Otto quietly that what he (should be "they," but whatever) tried to get away with was dishonest, but she also tells him how much she likes him and apologizes for having to come out against him. And you can tell she's really sorry. The same cannot be said for Marisa, who is so worried she will be thrown out for making a panna cotta you could bounce a quarter off, she viciously lights into Otto faster than unattended caramel burns. In the end, Otto elects to take full responsibility for Lycheegate and take himself out of the competition. The judges sadly accept this and Otto goes sadly home. I sadly (but loudly) call bullshit on this. Otto was not solely responsible for Lycheegate -- all of Team Korea heard him say they walked out with free lychees and any one of them could have taken them back in to rectify the situation. Poor Otto and poor Marisa, because I fear that this sets her up as the Wicked Witch of the West. Will someone shove her into her own convection oven? Should be interesting.

Oh, what a night! You know something scandalous happened on this show when the episode thread swells to sixteen pages in a matter of just a few days. The best part? The sourcing of California Bar exam study sheets to try and decide if what Otto did is considered a felony. Awesome.

Mad props to whirlingdervish for the most excellent homepage headline. So, after this episode, I am convinced that while Padmadala may look all kinds of hot -- although her eyes are a bit too far a part, giving her a fish look -- her line delivery has not improved since Enterprise. You know what that means, don't you? It's time for emphasis transcription. For example, "Previously on Top Chef, FIFteen of the country's most talented chefs SHARPEN their knives for battle" and "At stake for the winner? STATE of the ART Kenmore Pro kitchen furnished by Sears. An EDITORIAL feature in FOOD & Wine MAGazine, a chance to SHOWcase their culinary talent at the TWENTY-fifth Anniversary FOOD and Wine Classic in Aspen, and one hundred-thousand dollars to KICKstart their culinary careers, furnished by the makers of the GLAD family products." You get me?

In the LA loft, the cheftestants talk about Suyai's packing-her-knives-and-going. You know, there's gotta be a better term for that. Project Runway has the awesome "auf'd," what about the foodists getting oeuf'd? Could it work? Otto tells us, "And that's what it's all going to come down to: who can improvise, adapt, and overcome." And steal?

morning, Colicchio rouses the cheftestants at four-thirty in the morning, telling them they're going to the fish market. Mia, dressed but slumped on a couch, tells us she's not feeling well at all. At the fish market, Padmadala -- all braided and boobed up -- bids them an overly cheerful "good morning" for that early hour. She tells them they will be preparing sushi for the Quickfire. Mia looks like she's about to throw up, but she mashes her lips together and pats them so delicately with her fingertips, it doesn't strike me as genuine nausea. I wonder if they had to go back and get a pick up of that because the camera didn't know to be on her for her reaction. Marcel tells us, "I'm not a sushi guru by any means, so I was feeling a little nervous." Can you really be a "sushi guru"? There's no real intersection between Japan and India. Maybe you can be a sushi yokozuna or a poppadum guru, but not really a sushi guru. Michael is scared and tells us, "How am I going to stay in the middle on this one?" Just don't choose flounder. Padmadala tells them they have an hour to shop for fish and thirty minutes back in the kitchen to prepare a sushi plate. Mia turns away, her hand over her mouth and quickly walks away from the group. She squats near a dumpster, where she appears to be throwing up. However, she tells us, "I'm not going home. If I'm sick, I get to be sick at work." Ew, not if you're preparing food -- RAW FOOD! -- that people are going to eat!

The cheftestants crowd into the fish market and put plastic shower caps on their heads. Josie tells us she knows all about sushi flavors, and Elia tells us how much she loves fish. Fish flurry.

Back at the kitchen, which I have just noticed is being called "The Kenmore Kitchen" by the Bravo's graphics department, the cheftestants meet their guest judge. Padmadala introduces Chef Hiroshi Shima of Katana and Sushi Roku, along with his partner and interpreter. Padmadala repeats they have thirty minutes to create sushi plates using their newly-purchased fresh fish and anything in the Top Chef pantry. Food flurry. Otto tells us that he has to go "all out" because he's already been on the chopping block once.

Time's up. Chef Hiroshi Shima steps up to Frank who greets him in Japanese before explaining his plate of prawns, pompano fish, East Coast fluke, and big eye tuna. He says he tried to stay with a traditional sushi arrangement.

, Michael explains, "I've never made sushi before, just once in school." So, you actually have made it before, Flounder! Nevertheless, he has a plate of sashimi tuna with sesame oil and sushi rice with sesame rolled in cucumber. Once again, Bravo's chyrons are impossible to parse. I'm not sure what exactly is rolled in cucumber because I can't see any cucumber. It looks like Michael made little fish shapes in his sushi. There's rice with black sesame seeds for the body, which is draped with sashimi, and ginger for the tail. I see drips of something green, but it looks like wasabi. Still no clue where the "rolled in cucumber is." "THANK yewww," Padmadala says somnolently and moves them on...

To Cliff, who presents a gorgeous plate of Hama Hama oysters with ginger, soy, mango, and jalapeño. He also has another plate of split spot prawns, hamachi (raw Yellowtail Amberjack, a fish similar to tuna), and sweet daikon on a shiso leaf. I think I link to a shiso leaf definition in almost every Top Chef recap. Just for shiso and giggles.

At Mia's station, Mia explains, "This is an inexperienced person's version of just a simple sushi handroll." She's got a rather limp-looking plate of seaweed rolled around skinny pieces of red snapper, avocado, wasabi, and daikon sprouts. Chef Hiroshi Shima feeds Padmadala a roll, which Mia jokes, "He's like: 'You first!'" Chef Hiroshi Shima says something in Japanese, which his translator translates smilingly as, "It wasn't really appealing." Ouch, but not surprising.

Otto has a bevy of sushi to show off. Bravo's graphics says he has mackerel sushi with crab, scallops, and scallions, but it looks like much more than that. Sure enough, Otto explains, "We have some cured mackerel, pickle, a spicy tuna roll with avocado inside-out roll, a crab and scallion roll, scallops just simply cut, and tossed with some sesame seeds." What is wrong with Bravo's graphics department? The translator tells Otto that Chef Hiroshi Shima is very impressed with the way Otto rolled it. Otto tells us, "Hey, I'm just a round-eye from Cleveland, Ohio, with no formal culinary training whatsoever, especially in the fine art of sushi, but to hear those compliments from that man meant a great deal to me." Mia gives Otto a warm, one-armed hug.

Elia presents yet another beautiful plate of sushi. She explains that she did traditional sushi but changed a few of the flavors. She made a maki roll of mackerel sushi with olives, which looks like it's topped with Gold Pearl salmon roe/caviar, and sea urchin and New Zealand snapper nigiri. Chef Hiroshi Shima is quite excited about this and makes lots of hand motions. His translator tells Elia, "This is truly his first time enjoying a flavor like this -- the olives really come forefront in this dish."

Padmadala introduces Ted Ilan, who presents his abalone sashimi, uni (sea urchin) on rice, and scallop in the shell. Chef Hiroshi makes happy noises and his translator tells Ted Ilan, "He feels that it's very fresh and very alive here." We don't see anyone else's plates -- I assume it was cut to make room for Lycheegate -- and Chef Hiroshi Shima announces that Cliff is the winner. Padmadala says, "Cliff. Congratulations, you have IMMUNITY and cannot be ELIMinated in the challenge." Cliff is thrilled.

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants will be divided into two teams to represent two Asian influences that make up part of Los Angeles' culinary scene. All the knives in the block are marked with either a Korean flag or a Vietnamese flag, and the cheftestants pull knives to see what team they're on. Using the flavors of their designated countries, each team will create one hot dish and one cold dish to be served at a Project by Project charity event. Not only will the two teams be in competition with each other, but Padmadala tells them that there will be other established LA restaurants at the event, so the two teams need to stand out. Whatever, that never even amounts to much. They aren't even judged by the visitors to their stand, just by the usual suspects and Ming. Is Padmadala wearing jodhpurs? Just because she's from India doesn't mean she has to wear jodhpurs! They all sort of shriek when Padmadala tells them the event will be attended by a thousand people. Well, Sam doesn't shriek, he just stands there glowering. Otto tells us that he is "hugely involved in hunger issues," and he believes it's every chef's responsibility to cook for everyone, not just those that can afford to come to their restaurant. It's nice to establish Otto as a humanitarian sort of guy before they lower the lycheed boom. Padmadala tells them, "You'll be judged on how well you use your country's flavors, but you'll also be judged on how well you work together as a TEAM. You'll have five hundred dollars, per TEAM, to SHOP. The JUDGES will pick one TEAM as the winner and one PERSON from the LOSING team to go home." That whole speech was so slow and droning, I managed to fall asleep and drool during it. The teams leave.

Team Vietnam gathers to plan their menu. Betty excitedly tells the group that she and Mia are caterers, so they know how to plan for such an event. She explains, "For spring rolls, if we're making two hundred-fifty of these plates, all we have to do is make (slight pause) a hundred-twenty-five spring rolls and drizzle --" Sam stops glowering long enough to say, "We have to make two hundred-fifty of them." Mia and Betty explain that they will cut the spring rolls in half. Sam sneers jokingly, "Caterers!" Man, Betty is not shy about her cleavage! Josie and her oddly long rabbit teeth get into it and explain that they need to do a traditional pho -- she pronounces it "fah" -- with pork. Josie does a little dance in her chair and gestures, "We have to use fresh cilantro, we have to use LIME, we have to use MINT!" If you watch Sam, he has this hysterical (and glowering) look on his face. I swear, he's plotting to kill each and every one of them. He's Son of Sam. Betty tells us, "We are so fortunate to have a combination of people working so well together as a team!"

Can you guess who is going to lose? Well, on these shows, drunks never prosper and what is Team Korea doing? Drinking. In order to get their creative juices flowing, Frank, Cliff, and Ted Ilan whip up some white and red sangria. We get a shot of tube-topped Marisa doing a cocktail shaker dance (with no cocktail shaker) that is all the more disturbing if you've already had your eyeballs brûléed after looking her calendar where she demonstrates a cupcake crotch shot. Ted Ilan tells us that as they started planning their menu, he got drunk. He also got into a low-cut pink tee that showed a little too much of his bony and thready chest. It's clear that their planning is sort of a mess. Marisa tells them they will be making jasmine panna cotta with lychee curls. Marisa tells us she is excited to be making the dessert, "By being a pastry chef, I have advantages in certain challenges -- now I'm in my element." The guys seem unable to concentrate at all. Elia stands up and says, "Why don't we just finish this menu?!" in her high, intense, little voice. They guys are just drinking and slapping hands. Elia wonders, "You guys, are we just not planning the menu any more? You guys, let's just finish the menu and then we chill." Elia puts her hand to her face, giving up.

morning, Mia screams, "Good morning, Vietnam!" Heh. Son of Sam tells Josie that "they are pretty arrogant." I assume he's referring to Team Korea, but I'd be careful, if I were him. Korea's got nukes. Josie says she likes tough competition. Ted Ilan tells the cameras he thinks he's going to stay away from sangria for awhile. Well, at least until the challenge. Team Korea attempts to pull themselves together.

Both teams shop at ethnic stores. Team Vietnam grabs watermelon and other things. Josie brags, "We got everything -- those lists were so precise."

Over in Koreatown, Team Loser doesn't have as much luck. We see that they will be doing braised pork with kimchi and sticky rice as well as a jasmine tea panna cotta with tapioca. Dudes? Traditional kimchi takes a really long time to make. Like, weeks, sometimes. This is already not a good idea. Also, Bravo slapped the menu graphic right over a shot of lychee cases. Nice and subtle. Marisa tells us that "everything was a bit chaotic" in the Korean grocery store. They scream at each other across store aisles, scramble around looking for stuff, and grapple at other stuff. Marisa screams something unintelligible around something she has stuffed in her mouth. Is she sampling? Because in some stores, sampling is stealing. A grocery worker helps Otto by loading a case of lychees on the bottom of the shopping cart. They get rung up and realize they are over budget and have to take something back. Something is taken out of the bags, and Elia decides they are fine.

Outside, they load up the car and Otto says, "I think we got a case of lychees for free." I want to point out that this is captioned and we hear it, but Otto seems to be off-camera when he delivers this line. Marisa tells us -- just so there's no doubt here -- "As Otto was closing the door, he said something like, 'We got a whole case of lychees for free.' And I was thinking to myself, 'Did I hear this properly? If that is what he said, then this isn't fair.'" This right here is where this scandal is bullshit. Otto tells everyone there about the free lychees. Any one of them could have turned right around and taken the lychees back. None of them do, so, in my opinion, they are all culpable in this. Otto is no more to blame than the rest of his team, he just happens to be the one who said it aloud. What we don't know is if he came to the realization at the checkout counter that the lychees weren't rung up and still left with them. If so, then he's in the wrong. However, he might have only realized the lychees weren't rung up when he unloaded them from the bottom of the carts and it dawned on him that they could have been overlooked.

Now, according to Marisa's blog, she and Elia discussed the situation AT THE STORE with the producers, but the fucking producers wanted them to have the conversation on camera -- um, the cameras were still there, right Producers? -- and made them leave with the purloined lychees in order to have more drama unfold elsewhere. That's manipulation. That's bullshit. That really pisses me off. That and the fact that last year's reunion special was filmed after the finale make me not believe anything I see on this show. And I used to think this show -- along with Project Runway -- didn't have to sink to manufactured drama. I've lost my innocence.

Back in the Kenmore Kitchen, Team Korea gets set up for prep. Marisa tells us, "Playing by the rules is extremely important to me. Otto put me in a terrible position that I didn't want to be in." According to your blog, Marisa, it was the producers who did that. In the kitchen, Marisa backs Ted Ilan into a corner and says, "We look like fucking cheaters." Ted Ilan tells us he doesn't think Otto is a thief, he thinks it was a mistake. Ted Ilan goes on, "I felt like Marisa was trying to point blame, so that it couldn't be linked to her at all." Well, if she truly did want to return the lychees at the store, then I can understand her concern.

Team Vietnam food flurries and we finally see their menu. They're making a coconut-braised pork pho with carrot vermicelli, summer rolls with pickled watermelon, and a cucumber-aloe refresher drink. Carlos tells us that Josie was elected team leader because she was the most familiar with the ingredients and the product, so they all put their faith in her. We see Josie checking in with people's progress.

Team Korea has their own food flurry. Marcel wanders around and doesn't seem to know what he's doing. Marisa works on the panna cotta with Elia. Otto chops cabbage and asks where the kimchi powder is. Marcel tells us, "Kimchi is a huge staple in Korea and it's a product that's fermented for weeks at a time underground, so for us to try and make it in two days is pushing it -- it's a huge undertaking."

Colicchio stops by for his Team Vietnam Sniff 'n' Sneer. Betty explains they are making a ginger-basil syrup and adding it to cucumber juice and aloe juice. Colicchio confirms that she's in charge of the drink, Betty laughs that she's the bar wench. My, but her teeth are WHITE!

Over at Team Korea, Colicchio approaches Marisa and asks how things are going. "Um... " Elia and Marisa say in unison. "One of our team members took something from the store without paying for it," Elia tells him. Colicchio is shocked, SHOCKED to learn of this and demands to know what happened. Marisa explains, "They were loading up the van and after they loaded up the van, they closed it and said to me, 'Hey, I got an entire case of lychees for us. We didn't pay for it -- we didn't have to pay for it.'" Boy, either Marisa's got severe liarrhea or the producers made Otto do a (completely different) pickup on his "I think we got a case of lychees for free" line.

If Otto really did say exactly what Marisa said he said, then I could see how there might be definite reason to believe he meant to get away with the free lychees. I can also see that perhaps Marisa isn't the true villain in all of this. If Otto said to Marisa alone, "Hey, I got an entire case of lychees for us. We didn't pay for it -- we didn't have to pay for it," and no one else heard it, then I take back what I said about the entire team being culpable. Production made it look like Otto said the potential pick-up, "I think we got a case of lychees for free" in front of everyone who was involved in loading the car. However, he wasn't visually on camera when he said that, so who knows? There's a world of difference between him saying it solely to Marisa (and using the exact phrasing she's claiming he's used), and him saying it in front of the rest of his team and using that other line. Marisa's line makes it sound like he meant to get away with the free lychees, the other line makes it more nebulous. The first case also explains why Marisa tells us in an interview, "Otto put me in a terrible position," and not "Otto put the team in a terrible position." Maybe she wasn't just being selfish. If she was the only one Otto told that he "got" them a case of free lychees, then she is the one put in a terrible position and no one else. Still, the producers manipulated when they didn't let Marisa return the lychees then and there. They also manipulated us when they made us think Otto announced to his team that they had free lychees while they were all loading the car. At least that's how I see it. When I first watched this episode, I was totally all, "Marisa's a bitch!" and "The whole team had a responsibility!" but now I'm seeing it totally differently. I still haven't changed my mind about Marisa's calendar, though, because that's still an ew.

Colicchio calls the team over to them. "Shit," Marisa mutters. Colicchio wants to know at what point they realized the lychees weren't paid for. Marisa opens her mouth to say something. "Just now," Marcel says, popping into the frame. "No, not you," Colicchio tells him, "Keep chopping." Hee. Go away, Troll Doll. However, unless Marcel is totally lying -- and I don't believe he is -- saying that he just found out now supports the idea that Otto did not make a statement in front of everyone that he thinks they didn't get charged for the lychees. Colicchio wants Marisa to answer his question, "I knew they weren't paid for because Otto closed the door and he told me that we got a case of lychees that we didn't have to pay for." Colicchio asks Otto, "Is that a true statement that you said, 'We got a case of lychees for free.'" "That is a true statement, Chef," Otto says. Colicchio wants to know why Otto knew this and no one else did. Otto stammers that he got wrapped up in the competition, and he wasn't thinking clearly. "Right now, you're not looking too good," Colicchio tells him. Colicchio tells Otto to take the lychees back and tells everyone else to get back to work. Colicchio pointlessly tells us that the team is now down one person for at least an hour.

We see Otto carrying the case of lychees to the car. He tells us, "There was some discussion about the lychees being paid for, and I felt bad for it, but it was an honest mistake. So I took the lychees back to the store." It was an honest mistake that the lychees were overlooked in the ringing up, but it was not an honest mistake if you looked as them as a freebie that you could get away with. I'm not saying Otto intentionally shoplifted because it's clear that he didn't, but it also seems that he wasn't going to volunteer that they should take them back once he realized the got them for free.

Team Vietnam rocks all over the place. Betty promises that the summer rolls will be wrapped in plastic in such a way that will ensure they aren't touching and therefore stick together. "Can I have a kiss?" she asks Josie. They bang cheeks. Aw, Betty's cute. I'll bet she'd be easy to work for in a kitchen.

Team Korea. Marisa tells us that her panna cotta were setting up harder than they should be. "It was a chaotic day," Marisa tells us, "Everything was a whirlwind in the kitchen. I don't know what happened." Ted Ilan chops furiously and tells the camera that they are rushing to finish their dessert, which, he feels, should have been done in the first hour. Frank tells us they lost a lot of momentum because Otto was out returning the lychees. Otto tells us that he doesn't believe there is any tension on the team.

Team Vietnam packs up as time ticks down. They all cheer and slap hands.

The teams unload at the Project by Project event. Emily tells us that everyone contributed to the menu and they have a solid crew. She's really happy she's not on the Korean team.

Otto attempts some sort of weird display that reminds me way too much of the jars of pickled stuff my sixth grade teacher had in our greenhouse. And by "pickled stuff," I don't mean "food." At least, not human food. Marisa tells him his display is a disaster waiting to happen. Marisa tells us, "It wasn't bad or difficult to have to work with Otto after confronting him. It was more distracting than awkward." Ookay.

The teams line up and Padmadala welcomes them to Project by Project's event. She introduces them to Ming Tsai, their guest judge of the week. Padmadala looks like she's going to prom in that strapless black velvet and blue satin number with the sweetheart neckline. Looks good on her, though.

The teams ready their tables. "You know what?" Emily asks Team Vietnam as they ceremoniously rub elbows. "We got it done, and our table looks better." Marcel thinks Team Korea is falling apart a little bit.

Over on Team Vietnam, Josie sees how Michael massacred the summer rolls and decides they need a better knife. It looks like Michael cut one very carefully and it worked out, but then we pan over to a summer roll that looks like it exploded. "Josie, it's not the knife," Son of Sam tells her. "We can't serve that, it looks like shit," Josie says. "So we only serve one dish?" Son of Sam wonders. Josie steps in and tries to rectify the situation. She tells us she was starting to freak out. Son of Sam and Josie try to fix the summer rolls, and Michael attempts to come back in. Josie tells him to relax several times. Michael tells us -- and he seems either drunk or high -- "It's just so ridiculous, 'cuz I mean it's like, okay, we're all here in a cooking competition and you're talking to me like I'm your ten-year-old son." Well, maybe it's because it looks like a ten-year-old cut the summer rolls with a plastic butter knife. At the table, Josie signals a time-out with her hands and asks someone, "Can we calm down for one second?" and pulls Michael over to the side. She tells Michael she's going to have him do something else while she cuts the rolls. "And I was like, 'Look, babe, you need to just stop and just check yourself for a minute. Why do you assume that we're all in this competition and you're the only one that has skills?'" Because, Flounder, you SHREDDED THE SUMMER ROLLS THAT'S WHY! Josie talks to Michael and tells him there's no need for him to feel he needs to get out of the way, she's just talking and when she says "Hey," she's just talking. As opposed to... ? "Fucking spring rolls, dude," Michael tells us. They're fucking summer rolls, dude.

The place fills up and people eat. Betty greets people and tells us, "We were working it! We were saying 'hello,' to everyone!" Betty tells some chick she loves her shirt. Over at Team Korea, Elia and Otto argue over something. Whatever it is, Elia thinks they're fine as it is. Otto says, "There's going to be a ton of people coming here to eat, and we're going to get killed." "Otto, are you asking me or are you just telling me?" Elia asks calmly. I don't know why, but that line made me LOVE her. It was just so calm and pointed and stubborn. Elia says they had a problem with all the personalities converging on one team.

Ming visits Team Vietnam, and Josie gives him the summer roll with pickled watermelon and aioli. "You said it's traditional, but it's not really traditional, right?" Ming says. "Aw, right a little twist to it," Josie says. Ming asks what's and picks up a bowl. "We have a pork fah," Josie tells him. "Pork fuh?" Ming asks, correcting her. "Fuah," Josie says. "Fuh," Ming says again. Fuh you, dude. "Fuh?" Josie asks, baring her long teeth. "You mean fuh, right? Like that you slice on top of noodles?" Ming clarifies. Son of Sam glares as Ming eats. Betty asks if he would like their third dish and hands over their cucumber-aloe refresher. "That's very nice, a little spice, a little chile in there," Ming says. "Ginger," Betty corrects him. Heh. "Ginger," Josie says as well. "It's ginger?" Ming asks, "It's very nice, it's just not traditional Vietnamese, but I love the flavor." Not traditional Vietnamese, indeed! You're just embarrassed you identified ginger as chile! Ming leaves and Team Vietnam exhales. Betty tells us cryptically, "There was a little bit of angst with the summer rolls. I trusted them and it worked out in the end." Who did she trust? And with what? The cutting? I'm confused.

Colicchio samples the food at Team Korea. Elia gives him their Spicy Braised Pork with Sticky Rice, Kim Chee, and Lotus Chips. Colicchio is very impressed. Colicchio admits to Elia that he was skeptical because traditional kimchi takes a long period of time, however, theirs is pretty good for a quick kimchi. Marisa explains her Jasmine Tea Panna Cotta (Bravo spells it incorrectly as "pannacotta" for the second time) with Tapioca and a Candied Taro Chip. I guess the taro chip is in place of the lychee curls? Elia tells us that she did feel their dessert was a little tough, but they didn't have time to redo it. "There's enough gelatin, maybe a little too much gelatin," Colicchio tells Marisa, who doesn't respond. Ming also loves the pork and asks if the panna cotta is a traditional Korean dessert. I think he already knows it isn't. Panna cotta is Italian, and, furthermore, Korea isn't country that is really big on sweets and desserts as far as I know. Marisa tells him that they used ingredients that were traditional Korean ingredients. Is taro Korean? I guess it is. Marisa tells us, "When I tasted the food we put out, I really thought we had a shot at winning this."

Ming talks to the cameras out of earshot of the teams. He compliments Team Vietnam's summer rolls, but thinks the pho, which was a bit dry, fell short. With Team Korea, he really liked their braised pork but thinks the panna cotta custard was really heavy.

As the teams clean up, we see Josie throwing out uneaten food. I know they probably had to throw it out because of sanitation and health codes in California, but it doesn't look good to catch it on camera at a charity event.

Judges' Table. When asked by Padmadala what she thinks of the two teams' performances, Gail thinks that both teams were on the ball. Colicchio comments that Team Vietnam had a leader and Team Korea did not, and the fact that Team Korea did not have a team leader showed. Ming says how much he liked Team Korea's pork but admits the rice was mushy, "And Tom and I know this: if you're in the kitchen and you make bad rice, you make it again." Ming, you and Tom aren't the only one who know this. Padmadala's from India. They have rice there, so stop being all boys club with Tom. "Sticky rice notwithstanding," Padmadala says, "I would have rather eaten the Korean pork than the Vietnamese pork. I agree with you, if you can't make rice, you shouldn't be in the kitchen, but I still think that the Korean pork was so superior in taste, texture, everything." Wow, she gets to have an actual opinion. Go, Padmadala! Colicchio brings up the rubbery panna cotta, which Ming calls a "hockey puck." Gail says there were a lot of things about the Vietnamese dishes that weren't perfect, and while she preferred the Korean pork dish to the Vietnamese pork dish, she still thinks Team Vietnam pulled it together much better. Padmadala admits to being on the fence because she loved the Korean pork, but she also loved Team Vietnam's cucumber-aloe drink. Colicchio goes on about how well Betty did at selling her team's food, "It's a pleasure for her to serve you." Gail agrees that these events are a lesson in public relations, because you really have to sell your food. Padmadala gets up to bring the teams in and Ming TOTALLY checks out her ass as she walks away!

Padmadala asks Team Vietnam to follow her. Ted Ilan has a glass of wine in his hand. I guess the sangria didn't put him off wine, just fruit-filled wine. After Padmadala and Team Vietnam leave, Marcel walks around and tells Team Korea that he thinks they did well: "I'm stoked, and I will be surprised if it goes any differently than I expect it to." Prepare to be surprised, Teen Wolf.

Judges' Table. Before telling them anything, Ming wants to know, "Who was responsible for cooking the pork dish?" They are totally determined to scare the chef pants off of them. And with that weird floppy headkerchief, which is not quite a do-rag and not quite a wimple, Michael totally looks like a rosy-cheeked German baker. Michael cops to cooking the pork. "We just found it to be a little dry," Colicchio tells him. They toy with them some more before Padmadala finally says, quietly, "Well, I have to let you know that you guys are the winning team." Rejoicing all around. Son of Sam even stops glowering long enough to clap. Michael does a little jig. In the back, Team Korea hears this rejoicing, and Otto notes, rather hysterically, "Well, they seem very happy in there." "That sounded like celebration in there," Ted Ilan says. Cliff goes off that he's really pissed off that they lost and he announces that they lost because they couldn't work together as a team.

Back at the Judges' Table, Team Vietnam gets all sorts of props, especially Betty. In fact, they declare Betty the winner, and Ming presents her with a "limited edition Kyocera ceramic sashimi" knife. Niiiiiiice! Now, Ming says, "there about a hundred of these in the world," but I did find one at Chef's Resource. Ming closes up the special case and offers it to Betty, who is sweet to behold in her joy. Most of her team seems pretty happy for her as well, especially Emily. Betty shakes the hands of all the chefs and tells us she was a bit embarrassed to be the winner since she feels the whole team won that challenge. Team Vietnam is excused.

The judges stare Team Korea down. Padmadala informs them they are the losers. Ted Ilan says, "Our pork was far superior." Colicchio makes a face like he's about to totally and completely agree with him, but as Ted Ilan goes on, Colicchio's face comically goes to, "Oh, you're not done tooting your own horn yet? Well, okay then!" Ted Ilan is indeed not done, "Rice aside, I tasted both of their dishes, and I felt they were both under seasoned, and I'm not being a sore loser. I felt the pho was a joke." Gail is the first to recover her voice and tells Team Korea that they agree about the pork. It was better than Team Vietnam's. But, as Gail points out, that wasn't the only thing at stake. When Cliff is asked why they're there, Cliff bites out bitterly, "Maybe we did not work together so much as a team as we could have." Padmadala ascertains that they had no clear leader and wants to know who made the rice. Frank did. "Did you think that was good rice?" Ming wants to know. "I thought it was good rice when it left this place, yes," Frank says. "And then?" Ming prompts. "And then I thought it looked like hell on the plate, it was definitely unacceptable," Frank concludes. Ming agrees. I don't even understand how they could have bad rice -- we saw from the sushi challenge that they had a rice cooker. You can't mess that up.

Colicchio turns to the dessert and how freaking hard it was. Marisa explains, "I put a teaspoon of gelatin in for each cup of liquid -- that is a ratio that even a pastry assistant should know." Ming wants to know if she tried it. She did and admits that she did think it was "a little bit firm, as well." She didn't think it was unservable. Colicchio wants to know if Elia would have served that dessert. Elia starts to say, "I am not big in gelatins, it's a personal taste --" and Marisa turns on her, with a forced, tight, sarcastic smile, and says, "That's not what you said when you tasted it." Elia tries to explain herself, "What I mean is, I never --" but Marisa doesn't let her. If I may, I think Elia was about to express a preference that I myself have, and one that is not predisposed to liking any gelatin-based desserts, whether they are soft as clouds or hard as Marisa's head. I don't think she was necessarily going to put Marisa down, I think she was going to hedge and possibly say that as she doesn't like those kinds of desserts, she doesn't have enough experience in making them to know how hard or soft they should be. But Marisa doesn't let her get a word in edgewise. "I mean, we were sitting there, we were tasting our food -- the savory and the sweet -- saying, 'Oh, this is great,' and 'We think we're gonna win,' and now suddenly there's a lot of back-pedaling."

When asked, Marcel says he thinks Otto brought the least amount of production to the team because he was off returning the lychees. And, concerning Lycheegate, Marcel thinks Otto was responsible for ruining the integrity of the team. Elia agrees, "After the lychee thing, it was just very difficult." Colicchio asks if Lycheegate was critical enough to result in Otto's oeuf'ing. Elia does. Padmadala invites Otto to address Lycheegate. Otto says, "We paid the bill, we rolled the cart out, and then I said, 'Did we pay for that case of lychees?'" Marisa pulls a very tight, very sarcastic smile, cocks her head at Otto, and then swings back to look incredulously at the judges as if to say, "Are you going to challenge this or do I have to?" Colicchio sort of leads Otto and says, "I can see how you ended up the car, there were these lychees there... 'Hey, great, look what we have, we can use this!' Did you think that?" Otto denies this and Marisa makes the bitchface to end all bitchfaces. Her chin is pulled in, her eyebrows are raised, and her upper lip has disappeared into her tightened mouth. Maybe she should put that look in her calendar. It would go well with the swimming poses, which made the Evil Dr. Mathra say, "Oh, she's a swimmer! That explains my desire to waterboard her." Gail prompts Marisa, who goes off, "I have to sit here and look at these judges and chefs I respect, and the fact that you are sitting here lying to them, you said that specifically to me." I actually believe her now. Otto calmly says, "I'm not going to get into a he-said, she-said situation with you." Okay, that's all taking the high ground and shit, but let's not forget that when Colicchio repeated to Otto what Marisa said he said to her about the lychees, Otto copped to it immediately. He told Colicchio it was a true statement, yet now, when Colicchio is basically just asking him to reaffirm what he already told Colicchio, Otto is totally denying it. I gotta stand one hundred percent behind Marisa on this. She's acting like a bitch because she has every good reason to be angry at what Otto is trying to pull. Also, I'm not sure that Marisa can yet replace Tiffani in the bitch department. She's getting all emotional and unhinged here, which makes her very human. Tiffani, if you recall, was always very calm, and smug, and "oh, you funny little man, you need to relax" with people. That, for me, is way more obnoxious. "That's pathetic," Marisa tells Otto. Otto goes on that the lychees were returned. Elia apologizes to Otto and says quietly, "I like you as a person, but this was an act of dishonesty. You jeopardized the whole team for this. I'm so sorry." I really love Elia. She's sympathetic but honest. Colicchio asks if anyone else feels Otto jeopardized the team, "I do!" Marcel pipes up. No, not you, keep chopping. Frank steps up, all affronted at the behavior he sees, and says, "I was under the impression that this was a team. I don't really understand how team members FLIP their loyalties on a WHIM!" Well, when they're questioned point-blank about who should go home, team loyalties don't really apply anymore. ["Not to mention that the second the challenge ended, they ceased being a team at all. There's nothing left to be loyal to. Go coach JV football if you're so into the TEAM." -- Joe R] Ted Ilan opts for stating that he doesn't think any one person bears the blame for what happened to them. Team Korea is excused. Man, with Frank in the mood he's in, I'd be scared to go back in the kitchen with him. All those mallets and meat grinders.

Sure enough, once they're in the back, Frank glares at every single one of them, "We said we were a team and then we didn't ACT like a team when we presented it and when we got out there, we ACT like fucking seven individuals and we look like HELL." Heh. I have to quote Lee Anne's blog on this, she says, "Frank morphs into a cross between Vince Lombardi and Tony Soprano, with a speech worthy of a professional locker room at halftime when you’re down by 20 points." So true. Marisa starts to say that she apologizes for contributing to the situation, but Frank doesn't seem to hear her as he bellows, "I put my name on those dishes, I wasn't the only one to make the rice decision, but I was the one to take responsibility for it, because everyone else was looking out for their own ASS." In the background, Marcel is hysterically banging his head on a poll. Frank goes on, "It's. A. TEAM, and if you don't back your team mates, you might as well shove your head right up your ASS." Oh, man, it's so wrong that I found that so funny, but I can't help it. We cut to Marcel, and the Evil Dr. Mathra concludes, "Maybe that's why Marcel's hair looks so funny."

Judges' Table. The only interesting thing to report here is that, when deciding between Frank, Marisa, and Otto, Colicchio says, "If Otto doesn't admit it and take responsibility, it's my opinion that Marisa should go." Problem is, after rewinding it several times, I'm not entirely sure that Colicchio didn't say, "If Otto does admit it and take responsibility, it's my opinion that Marisa should go." And Bravo provides no captions to check against. The team is called back out.

After commercials, Colicchio reminds Otto that he's in the middle of this controversy and asks, "At what point were you going to say, 'Hey, we have some extra stuff here, we can't use it'?" Otto responds that when people told him they couldn't use the lychees, he immediately agreed and set them aside. That doesn't exactly answer the question, but I don't have the energy any more. Colicchio points out that Otto didn't react until someone else told him they couldn't use them, "If she didn't come to you, would you have used them?" Marisa's got her tight-smiling, tucked-chin bitchface back on. Otto says, "You know people do things, for a wide variety of reasons. I wanted this more than you could possibly imagine but the bottom line is, it was dishonest. I should have just came clean from the get-go. This action destructed the team. It created a situation that was very uneasy for everyone involved. It's highly unfortunate that my actions put me in the decision to bow out of this competition." Padmadala folds her hands and rests her face against them. "If that's what your decision is, we will take it," Colicchio tells him. Padmadala tells him to pack up and go. He leaves. The team is excused.

In the back, Otto announces that he is bowing out and makes the "I'm very passionate about what I do" speech that they all make in the end. Mia looks like she's crying. During the speech, Ted Ilan throws Marisa an accusatory look. Marisa doesn't look up. When Otto is done speechifying, Ted Ilan leads a round of applause. Otto hugs everyone, including Marisa who actually looks truly upset.

In a very loud pin-striped zoot suit, Otto tells us he made an error in judgment, but he is going to press on and keep pursuing his dreams of ending hunger in this country and the world.

week: Michael waxes profane and, I swear, Colicchio better not be wearing what looks like an animal print shirt over a wifebeater or I'm gouging out my eyes.