By Nicole
Other titles for this episode include "It's all fun and games until you start dating someone's mother: The Sequel" and "Let's do the Time Warp again!"
So the show starts out with Sully and Ty's mom, who we find out is named Maggie, and they are walking in a park. Maggie tells Sully that since her husband died, she has gotten her degree and is now an assistant principal. She asks Sully about a woman that he was engaged to, and he tells her it didn't work out -- she couldn't see herself being a cop's wife. He asks Maggie if she ever thought of getting remarried, and she tells him that she is too busy with her job and taking care of her kids. She thanks him for taking Ty under his wing, and she hopes that he can talk Ty out of being a cop. She says that Ty is trying to be just like his dad, and she is afraid he will end up just like him, including being a skirt chaser. Sully tells her that he knew about her husband doing that stuff, but he didn't approve. What a stand-up guy. Maggie tells him that Ty was accepted to Fordham Law on a full scholarship and she hopes that he will go back to school.
There is a car on fire and Jimmy is hosing it down. Bosco and Yokas are telling people to move back. Bosco asks the crowd of people if they saw anything, and this young guy with Chinese symbols tattooed on his neck tells him that he saw a black guy in baggy clothes running away from the car. After the fire is out, they open the trunk and find the charred remains of a person. EEEEWWWWW! Anyone for barbecue?
So then the music starts and the credits roll, and I've been wondering why I like the beginning so much and then I realized why...it always shows the clip of Bosco getting shot. Ah, sweet memories.
Did you know that after you have been married for four years, you can start replacing things in the house? Well, you can, and you can get all your replacement stuff at Wal-Mart.
Okay, how sacrilegious is this -- NBC showed a movie called Mary, Mother of Jesus, and the music they used in the promo is by a band that once said they were "bigger than Jesus": The Beatles' Let it Be. Is Michael Jackson so desperate for money that he is willing to sell his songs to networks so they can be used in bad TV movies?
Ty and Sully at the fire scene. Wait a minute -- Sully was just in the park with Maggie. He gets around pretty fast. Ty tells Sully that he is happy that Sully hung out with his mother, because people her age don't go out that much. They go on with some more witty age humor, yadda yadda yadda. Maybe if Maggie went out at a normal time instead of after midnight, she could meet some people her age. Anyway, they find a bracelet on the barbecued corpse that says "Gina Rosetti 1998 Douglaston High School Singles Champ." A detective wants the tattooed guy who says he saw someone to come down to the station to look at some mug shots. He asks the guy his name, and it is Jason. Jason gets nervous, especially when Sully says that he's going over to talk to some homeless men to see if they saw anything. Hmmm...I wonder what plot twist will be revealed? You know you can never trust anyone with a tattoo on his neck...
Kim and Bobby are walking down some sidewalk and Kim is looking in a bag. It has a "welcome back" banner in it, and she thinks that Bobby's mom would prefer a "trespassers will be shot" sign. She also finds some party hats, and asks Bobby if they are for her for when she has her weekly pity party about being a single mother with an ex-husband who never pays child support. When he bursts her bubble and tells her the stuff is for his brother's homecoming, Kim tells reminds that his brother is coming home from prison, not summer camp. Bobby tells her that his brother is staying with him, not with their mother. Kim thinks that he is making a big mistake. I'll bet anyone a dollar that Kim ends up sleeping with Bobby's brother.
Bosco and Yokas are in their car with Jason. He is very nervous and asks how long he is going to be at the station. They tell him it will take him two hours at the most. He asks if he can tell his boss that he is going to be late, and Yokas tells him that he can call from the precinct. He tells them that his boss won't believe him if he calls, and that if he goes in person and his boss sees one of them, then his boss will believe him. And hey, what a coincidence, the restaurant he works at is right across the street from where they are at that very moment! Bosco tells Yokas to cut the kid a break since he's trying to help them, so they stop, and Yokas lets him out of the car, but then she goes back into the car and sits with Bosco. Neither of them goes with Jason to the restaurant. Um, how is this kid's boss going to see Bosco or Yokas if they are sitting in a car across the street? The plot twists some more...
Meanwhile, Bosco is reading the paper, and he says that the kid whose throat was slashed got out of the hospital and was sent to a juvenile detention center. At least the writers try to mention past characters, unlike some shows where a character is on once and then you never hear from them again, ever.
Ty and Sully walk over to the homeless guys. Sully asks one of them, "How's it hanging?" and the guy answers, "Low and lonely." I didn't need to hear that. Sully asks them if they saw the fire or if they saw who started it. The low-and-lonely guy tells Sully that they got the guy who started the fire; he tells them, "That skinny mean cop put him in the car." That is a pretty good way to describe Bosco, I must say. Sully radios to Bosco and Yokas.
But it is too late! Bosco and Yokas run into the restaurant and Jason isn't there. He got away. Man! I didn't see that coming! Never in a million years! Not. One of Yokas's kids could have figured that out.
Bobby and Kim are at Bobby's apartment in his kitchen, throwing away anything that has alcohol in it. This reminds me of an old Family Ties episode where Tom Hanks is Uncle Someone-or-other, and he's an alcoholic, and he creeps down to the kitchen in the middle of the night and looks for alcohol, and the only thing he can find is a bottle of vanilla extract and he starts drinking that. So anyway, Kim tells Bobby that as soon as his brother gets together with his friends he is going to start drinking again.
Morales is stitching Carlos's face. Wait a minute -- last week, Carlos needed to get stitches. From the scenes, we can obviously tell that it isn't the same day as last week's episode. Did Carols have to sit in the ER for 24 hours before he got the stitches? No, wait another minute -- this episode is supposed to take place on a Sunday -- Carlos had to wait a WEEK to get stitches? Come on, writers! Get some consistency, for God's sack! So anyway, Carlos is acting like an overt penis boy (tm xixax) and tells Morales that women think that scars are sexy. Morales informs him that he won't have a scar, and then walks away. Have you noticed that Morales always gets the last word in and then walks away? She's not much of a conversationalist, I guess. ["Well, neither is Carlos." -- Sars] Doc tells Carlos that if Morales gets any hotter, "Her thong is going to melt." Oh, nice, Doc. Like Carlos needed any more nasty thoughts in his head. It must not be too embarrassing for Doc to have a partner that gets a chubby every time he walks into the ER. Before Carlos can blow his wad, they get a call about a man with chest pains. Carlos wants to drive again, and Doc tells him he will absolutely not let him drive.
Ty and Sully, putting parking tickets on cars. Ty asks Sully if he is going to start dating Maggie. Sully tells him that he just took a walk with Maggie and they talked, and then he tells Ty that he knows about the scholarship to Fordham. Ty asks him if his mom tried to get Sully to talk him out of being a cop. Sully tells him that he and Maggie both think he is making a big mistake. Ty asks if all they talked about was him. Sully says, "No, not really. I was too busy trying to get in your mom's pants." Ha! Just the look on Ty's face after Sully said that was priceless. But if I've told y'all once, I've told you a million times, it's all fun and games until you start talking about someone's mother. Sully tells him that he is going to see his mother socially, and Ty is all, "But you're not gonna date her, right? Right?" and Sully just stares at Ty.
Consistency be damned! Carlos is driving the bus after all, and Doc is giving advice on how to drive in traffic when it's an emergency. A car comes out from a side street, and Carlos hits it and it goes careening over a lower-level parking lot and slides over a bunch of cars and flips over. They run over to the car, and the person driving is a pregnant woman. D'oh! Sucks to be Carlos!
Apparently, Crest MultiCare toothpaste glows in the dark. Freaky.
Bobby and Kim are in the bus, and they stop at a pool hall. Bobby tells Kim that he forgot something and goes inside. I think he forgot how to make up a good lie. Bobby finds his brother's friends (and we finally find out his brother's name: Matt) and he tells them that Matt is coming home. One of the guys, a greasy little guy, asks Bobby if he is warning the farmers to keep an eye on their sheep, and then does a wannabe-sheep sound. Um, greasy guy, men in prison don't go after sheep, they go after greasy little guys like you, so maybe you should learn how to squeal like a pig instead. Bobby tells them to stay away from Matt, and the guys can't believe Bobby would make such a request. Kim comes in and tells Bobby about Carlos, and they have to go take care of the guy with the chest pains. The greasy guy asks Bobby if Kim is his "new piece of ass." Bobby yells, "I wish!" No, not really, but you know he was thinking it. Kim is all annoyed and says in her best DeNiro-in-Taxi Driver impersonation, "What'd you say?" Bobby tells her to ignore Greasy Guy, and as they leave, Greasy Guy lets out another wannabe-sheep sound. Whatever.
The fire department is using the Jaws of Life to open the door of the pregnant woman's car. The woman is asking if her baby will be okay; she is only 22 weeks along and is having contractions. They finally get her out of the car, and as they put her in the ambulance, she tells them that her husband is in Miami, and she keeps asking if she will lose her baby.
Kim and Bobby down in the subway, where they find an old man sitting against the wall. They identify themselves, and he tells them everyone calls him Bobo. Yeah, sure, old man. Kim asks him what happened, and he says he was taking Viagra. They give him a surprised look, and Bobo tells Bobby that he gets around, because when you get to be his age, you "start racking up the numbers." I'm not liking where this is going. I don't want to know about old men getting it on with numerous women; just picturing it gives me the heebie-jeebies. So Bobo goes on to tell them that he had a date, so he decided to "double up on the blue bombers." Ugh. He then proceeds to tell Kim that he was like "the Empire State Building, Eiffel Tower, the Space Needle all wrapped into one." As Kim looks as disgusted as I feel, he keeps going: "I'm talking vertical!" Thank you, writers, for making me envision an old man named Bobo with a raging erection. Pardon me while I heave up the glass of wine I just drank. Bobo tells Bobby that the woman he was with wanted to get on top. Apparently, this disgusted Bobo so much that he ran out of the woman's apartment and ran for the train, which is when he got the chest pains. Whatever, freak. The only thing Bobby can say is, "You mean to tell me men used to get to be on top?" Oh, please, Bobby! Like you don't love every minute a woman is riding you. Don't complain -- it's less work for you.
Doc and Carlos are in the ambulance with the pregnant woman, and her contractions are getting closer. It's rush hour so they are going really really slowly, and Carlos is getting annoyed that they aren't going faster. Hey, Carlos, why don't you just get behind the wheel and plow through the traffic like last time, since that worked out so well for you?
Bosco and Yokas at the precinct; Bosco is upset that they lost Jason. As Bosco is going over how he was being nice to the bastard that locked a girl into a trunk of a car and set it on fire, another cop is trying to shut Bosco up. Of course, Bosco won't shut his cakehole and keeps yammering on about the whole horrible scene, and a couple standing behind him the whole time asks Bosco who he's talking about. Why, it's the parents of the barbecued girl! Didn't see that coming, did you? The couple wants to know if their daughter is dead, and Bosco just looks sheepish while Yokas tells them that she is very sorry. The father asks if it was Jason who killed their daughter, and then tells them that they found the daughter high and beat up at Hudson Park the week before.
Doc and Carlos finally get to the ER, and Morales is waiting for them; Doc gives her all the medical details of the pregnant woman. Hey, what ever happened to Dana? Bobby sleeps with her once, and she disappears. That's not nice. Maybe Ty and Sully can look for her, because they seem to be good at finding missing people, unlike Bosco and Yokas, who keep letting the people they have in custody go missing. But I digress. Morales asks what happened, and Carlos tells her that the woman's car got sideswiped by their bus. Morales immediately says to Carlos, "Let me guess. You were driving." She knows Carlos so well. I wonder if her thong was melting in this scene too. They bring the woman into one of the rooms, and she is delivering. Carlos and Doc watch from the doorway while the woman delivers. Morales checks the baby and tells a nurse that the baby is "too immature to survive outside the uterus." I know a lot of adults like that. As they wheel the woman out of the room, she keeps asking how her baby is. Carlos asks Morales if she is going to try to save the baby, and Morales tells him that the baby is only 22 weeks along and never had a chance. She walks away and leaves the baby on a tray. Carlos goes over to look at it. He thinks the baby moved and tells the ER people, who start giving it life support. Nice to overstep your boundaries, Carlos.
If your sweatshirts aren't Jerzees, they will pill up, and pigeons will think you have pieces of popcorn on your sweatshirt and will go after you and eat your sweatshirt off your body. Remember that the time you're looking to buy a sweatshirt.
The ER people are still working on the baby. They get a heartbeat. Doc tells Carlos that they shouldn't have done anything because Morales "pronounced her." I'm assuming she pronounced her dead, unless there is some other pronunciation that I don't know about.
Bosco is annoyed with himself for acting like a jerk in front of the girl's parents. Bosco, knowing is half the battle. He decides that they should go to Hudson Park to look for Jason. Have you ever noticed that all the random information that people give these cops always pans out? Like they never get information that leads them nowhere. I wish it were that easy.
Bobby and Kim at a park. A guy has hurt his ankle falling out of a tree. Jimmy and company come over because they got a call about someone stuck in a tree. The guy's son is still in the tree. Apparently, the guy was playing football, and he looked up and saw his son in the tree, and the son won't come down.
Carlos and Doc bring in another patient to the ER, and Carlos sees that the baby is still in the ER, so he goes over to see it. Morales sees him and drills him a new asshole for going over her head about the baby. She then tells him that it is ten times worse for the parents to deal with a baby with no brain function on a breathing machine than to accept a miscarriage and move on. She tells him that she hopes he is proud of himself and then she walks off. Nice going, Carlos. You know she really wants you now.
Jimmy climbs up to the kid in the tree and asks why he is mad at his dad. The kid tells Jimmy that he only sees his dad every other Sunday, and he wants to do things he likes sometimes. This does not remind Jimmy of his relationship with his son in any way -- oh, wait, it does. Jimmy talks the kid into climbing down from the tree.
Doc and Carlos are at the bar/restaurant. Doc tells Carlos to order something special since he has had a tough day. Actually, I think it was a tough week: Carlos sat in the ER for seven days waiting to get stitches and then went out and got into an accident. Carlos tells him that he couldn't believe how Morales got all over him "for doing the right thing." Doc tells him he overstepped his boundaries. Carlos says he was "giving a damn" and that Morales was wrong and she won't admit it. It's good to see that Carlos can see many sides of a situation and is open to hearing and trying to understand other people's opinions. Doc asks Carlos whether he'll admit it if it ends up that he is wrong. Before Carlos can answer, Sully comes in to ask about the accident. Carlos gives him the details, and Sully writes it down for a report. He then tells Carlos and Doc that he has to go to the hospital to write up the woman. Sucks to be that woman!
Bosco and Yokas go to a street corner where a bunch of kids are hanging around. They know one boy there, and from the way they talk, it sounds like the kid's dad beat him up and Bosco and Yokas sent him back to his father, and the father is still wailing on the kid. Yokas tells him she is sorry. Hey, I have an idea, why don't you arrest the father for abuse? Yokas keeps whining about helping kids, and right smack in front of her is a kid who needs help, and all she can do is say "sorry." Full Frontal Whatever. So Bosco asks the group of kids if they know Jason. They say they don't. He tells them what happened and show them a Polaroid picture of the barbecued girl in the car. The beat-up boy tells him he doesn't want to help, and Bosco tells all of them that if they don't help them they can be . The kids still think they are better off not helping. How many times does Bosco have to be denied help from people he has dealt with in the past to realize that he is a freakin' asshole and what goes around comes around? Time will only tell.
Ty and Sully see a man with a baseball bat on top of a car smashing it, and a woman is screaming for him to stop. The man is the woman's ex-husband, and something pissed him off. Sully tells the baseball-bat guy that he is going to be cuffed and taken to the station for destruction of property, and if he has no prior record he will be let go on his own recognizance and will have time to have a beer and watch the Sunday game on ESPN. Baseball-Bat Guy looks at Sully and says, "How 'bout you take that badge and gun off and I kick your ass?" I'm sure there are millions of people across the country who wish they could have said that to a cop at some point in their lives. ["Like, say, me." -- Sars] Sully calls for an ambulance, and Baseball-Bat Guy thinks aloud that Sully is going to need the ambulance. Sully tells him that, once twenty other cops show up, Baseball-Bat Guy is the one who will need to go to the ER, and who will then end up spending a year in jail for assaulting an officer. Bosco and Yokas arrive, and Ty tells the baseball-bat guy to get off the car. He finally gets off the car, and as Ty starts to pat him down and cuff him, Baseball-Bat Guy says, "Well, the organ grinder's monkey can talk. But high yellow, you still a house nigger!" Ty gets a little peeved, and Sully tells him not to stoop to the guy's level. BBG then calls Sully's mom a whore and tells Sully that when he gets out of jail he is going to do Sully's mother and give her five dollars like he always does. Bosco's big comeback to this is "shut up, fathead!" Third-graders can think up better comebacks. Even at my least creative moment, I would have called him a barf-encrusted doody-head. BBG looks at Bosco and asks if Yokas is Bosco's "cracker bitch." Bosco lunges at him, and Sully separates the two of them and puts BBG in the back of his car. Before he gets into the car, BBG spits in Sully's face. Bosco thinks Sully should beat the bejesus out of the guy, but Sully thinks that since no one got hurt, they should just leave it. He tells Bosco that people should respect them, not fear them, but Ty thinks Bosco is right. I guess what they say is true: people who are very book-smart usually do not have a shred of common sense to them. I'm glad Ty didn't go to law school; I would be afraid for the people he would represent.
So the pot climbs down from the tree with the kid and walks over to the kettle who has a broken ankle, and calls him black. Kim asks Jimmy if he even sees the irony. Of course not, Kim, it just flew right over his head, like most clues do. Jimmy thinks he and Joey have great times together because Joey never complains. Kim wonders if he has to wait until Joey climbs up a tree before he gets a clue.
Carlos and Doc are in the ER. The baby died. The mother is wheeled out to where they are and she tells them she got a ticket for not yielding to an emergency vehicle. She asks them if her daughter was in any pain with all the tubes in her. Doc tells her the baby wasn't in any pain, and the mother gets wheeled into the room where her dead daughter is. Carlos and Doc look sad.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer shills for Maybelline, but you know as soon as that commercial shoot is over, she washes that stuff off immediately and puts on really good makeup.
Bobby and Kim are putting a lady with a walker in the bus, and Sully and Ty are there. Ty is giving a ticket to an Arabian taxi driver for running a red light. The Arab (wearing one of those stereotypical Arabian hats and speaking with a very thick accent) calls Ty "Your Majesty" and tells him that the light was yellow, and the lady was in the crosswalk so she should have gotten out of the way. Ty informs the taxi driver that yellow means "prepare to stop," not "accelerate." Sully's beeper starts beeping, and it's a phone number he doesn't know. He tells Ty the number, and it is Ty's home number! Ty has a look of horror on his face, and Sully remembers that he told Maggie to beep him when she got home, because they were going to a midnight movie. Ty gets all bent out of shape because he thinks it is a date.
Bosco and Yokas in their car, and Yokas thinks Sully was right; BBG was drunk and upset with his ex-wife, and beating on the guy wouldn't have solved anything. She also mentions that the guy was handcuffed and if Sully beat the guy up in front of everyone it would have looked worse than just getting spit in the face. Bosco comes up with his theory of "justice delayed is justice denied." Yokas puts him down for his stoopid theory of justice, and Bosco asks her if street justice is only appropriate when she thinks it is. Bosco's got her there. Before she can retort, they get a call about a location where Jason was last seen.
Doc and Carlos are sitting by their bus, and Carlos thinks it was really rough to give the woman a ticket after all that happened to her. Doc tells him that the police were covering the city's ass, and Carlos's ass. It finally dawns on Carlos that maybe he was wrong. Just this time. Morales walks outside, and Carlos walks over to her and apologizes for second-guessing her. He tells her she can file a complaint with EMS, but she declines. She tells him she never expected a heartbeat from the baby. She tells Carlos never to do that again and walks away. Carlos pops a tiny boner.
Bosco and Yokas are looking for Jason, and they find him. They stop the car and Bosco chases him. Yokas radios dispatch and follows them. Bosco finally catches Jason in a parking lot and starts punching Jason. He even throws a metal trash can on the guy. Ty and Sully drive up to the rumble and run over. Ty is watching Bosco beat up on Jason and is wondering if that's what he looked like when he went off on that pedophile in the ER a few weeks ago. Sully pulls Bosco off of Jason.
Kim is at the station and asks someone if her mom dropped Joey off. She finds him sleeping on Jimmy's lap while Jimmy is sitting in his lounge chair watching wrestling. Jimmy tells her that he wants to have Joey sleep over that night and the morning he is going to take him out for pancakes before he takes him to school. Then he tells Kim that was what Joey said he wanted to do. Gee, maybe the lug can get a clue this once. No doubt he is already owing Kim more child-support money.
Bosco and Yokas are in the locker room. Yokas asks Bosco if he beat up Jason because she let Caesar get killed. He tells her the guy burned a girl to death, got away, and made him look like a fool; he knew Bosco was going to beat him. Bosco must be Mayor Giuliani's wet dream. As Bosco is leaving, Ty walks in. He tells Yokas that he thought that Bosco was going to kill that guy. Yokas gets all philosophical and tells Ty that every day you decide what kind of cop you are going to be. Um, okay.
Bobby's brother gets off a bus, and Bobby is there to pick him up. Matt asks Bobby about their mom, and Bobby tells him that she hasn't changed her mind, so Matt is going to stay at Bobby's apartment. Then they go get a steak dinner. Whatever.
Sully and Maggie walking down a street; they get to her house. He walks her to her front door. I'm surprised Ty isn't standing at the door waiting for them, and so are they. They have some small talk, and then they tell each other that they had a great time. They hug and then he leaves. Ty is standing behind the front window curtains and he breathes a sigh of relief. No, they didn't really show that, but you know that was what he was doing.
Doc and Carlos are leaving the station and going home. Wait a minute -- isn't it supposed to be, like, 2:00 AM at this point? What, are they doing overtime or something? I guess they live in a vacuum where time means nothing. So Doc asks Carlos if he wants to go get a beer, but Carlos declines. Doc reminds Carlos that what he did that day was wrong, and that he will see him tomorrow. Carlos walks to the stairs that lead to a train and he sits down on one of the steps and puts his head in his hands. Funny -- I'm doing the same thing, since I'm wondering how in the world the writers and editors got away with distorting the time continuum so drastically. Fade to black.