|
6-12 2006.06.04 |
Kaisha Phil has a heart attack; Christopher hooks up with Julianna and her heroin addiction; AJ gets laid. |
| 4-8 Recap |
Mother should I check the mall?
Mergers and Acquisitions - Hush now baby, don't you cry. Mama's gonna find a new girlfriend for you. Mama won't let Joey be dirty near you. Mama's gonna wait up until you get in. Mama will always find out what's in the bin. Mama's gonna keep baby breaking those arms. Oooooooh, baby. Of course Mama will help build the wall. |
2002.11.03 2002.11.10 |
B+ |
Aaron |
| 4-7 Recap |
Our (Crack) House
Watching Too Much Television - The return of Paulie Walnuts brings us the best episode so far this season. Boon risks his neck to help Tony and Vondie Curtis-Hall consummate a real estate deal, but it's his love life that really leaves him cruising for a bruising. Adriana finally convinces Christopher to marry her, only to discover that she's doing it for all the wrong reasons. And while Furio finally starts to dig himself out of danger, Cousin Brian finds himself drawn in even deeper. |
2002.10.27 2002.11.03 |
A |
Aaron |
| 4-6 Recap |
Stuck In The Middle Review
Everybody Hurts - I don't know what to say here tonight. I got the feeling this ep just ain't right. And while I laughed at most all of its jokes, the truth is I don't care 'bout these blokes. I got Artie to the left of me, AJ to the right -- here I am, with a stuck in the middle review. |
2002.10.20 2002.10.28 |
B- |
Aaron |
| 4-5 Recap |
Wild Horses Actually Can Drag Him Away
Pie-O-My - Tony loves being with horses. Adriana hates being a rat. Janice loves being a weasel, and Joey will always be a pig. |
2002.10.13 2002.10.20 |
B- |
Aaron |
| 4-4 Recap |
The Weight
The Weight - Pulled in to Hoboken, was riding with Johnny Sack. He just wants to know where Ginny keeps the snacks. He said, "Hey, Aaron, does anyone end up dead?" I just smiled and wrote the recap. "No," was all it said. Take a load off, Ginny. Take a load for free. Take a load off, Ginny. And put the hit on Ralphie. |
2002.10.06 2002.10.14 |
A- |
Aaron |
| 4-3 Recap |
No One Is To Blame
Christopher - You can block a parade, but you just can't retreat. You can watch Joey Pants take a vibrator in the seat. You can be an Indian chief, and not a serial killer again. Bobby feels the punishment, but he didn't commit the sin. And you blame them. And they blame you. We blame everyone. But no one, no one, no one ever is to blame. |
2002.09.29 2002.10.06 |
B |
Aaron |
| 4-2 Recap |
It's Only Puke & Coal (But I Like It)
No Show - Adriana's new diamond bracelet gets an unexpected adornment when she learns that Lola is more than just a honky-tonk woman. Meanwhile, Meadow is a beast of burden (and we certainly know she's no mother's little helper), and even as a capo, Christopher still can't get no satisfaction. Click the link to read all about it, and watch as Aaron endures his nineteenth nervous breakdown. |
2002.09.22 2002.09.29 |
B |
Aaron |
| 4-1 Recap |
Money for Nothing (And Icelandic Chicks for Free)
For All Debts Public And Private - Kim and Stee can have MTV. I want my HBO. |
2002.09.15 2002.09.22 |
A |
Aaron |
| 3-13 Recap |
The Army Of One
The Army Of One - In this season's Sopranos send-off, Jackie Jr. gets whacked when everyone says he won't, Paulie gets peeved when he's not paid off, and Johnny Sack sleazes and smokes through his non-sequitur of a scene. Back on the homefront, AJ faints dead away at the prospect of being sent away to military school, and Meadow gets sloppy drunk while mourning her hunk. But wait, there's more! Adriana's new friend is a Fed learning her Craft, the boys all get busted for betting, and a half-dozen other plotlines are left blowing in the wind. And then in the end, just like the song says, sad songs say so much. |
2001.05.20 2001.05.26 |
B |
Aaron |
| 3-12 Recap |
Amour Fou
Amour Fou - With an increasingly insane Gloria interfering with his family life, Tony is forced to employ Patsy Parisi to help threaten to put the "whack" back into "whack-job." But even with all her wacky meat-winging ways, Gloria still isn't as bad as LLFP(TPA), who commits a multitude of sins, ranging from smoking spliffs and seeing sluts all the way up to shooting Sunshine. It all prompts Tony "Sun Tzu" Soprano to cleverly remind Joey just who wears the Pants in the Aprile family, thus delegating yet another distasteful task. Oh, and Carmela puts her faith back in The Lord (of the Rings), and at long last finds some inner peace. And also maybe a part-time job. |
2001.05.13 2001.05.20 |
A |
Aaron |
| 3-11 Recap |
Pine Barrens
Pine Barrens - We've already seen the cold Christmas of '95, but this week we're apparently back in the heady Cold War days of 1985, what with Paulie "Ollie North" Walnuts and Christopher "Fawn Maul" Moltisanti stirring up diplomatic incidents, engaging in hand-to-hand combat with Russian commandos, and waging war against the evillest empire of all -- South Jersey. On other fronts, Meadow's foray into espionage proves Jackie's lack of intelligence, Tony confesses to Melfi about his cross-border incursion into one of her patients, and said patient Gloria starts showing signs of adding a bit of fatale to her long-since-demonstrated femme. |
2001.05.06 2001.05.12 |
A- |
Aaron |
| 3-10 Recap |
Ho ho ho and a barrel of fun
To Save Us All From Satan's Power - David Chase gives us all a great big present by trotting our favorite characters of Christmas past, present, and future. In but a single episode, we're treated to Furio, Paulie, Bobby Bacala, Big Mouth Billy Bass, Janice, Jackie Aprile Sr., Ray Curto, Aaron the Narcoleptic Doppelganger, and of course, The Grinch Who Wired Christmas, Big Pussy himself. There's not much plot between all the cameos, but Tony manages to get revenge on Janice's Russian, Jackie Jr. gets caught with his pants down (but not literally, so don't worry if you missed it), and Carmela has the right suspicions about the wrong girl. |
2001.04.29 2001.05.06 |
B- |
Aaron |
| 3-9 Recap |
The softer side of snakes
The Telltale Moozadell - Naughty boys need love too, you know, and they'll do anything to get it. Tony buys his wife a ring, Chris surprises his fiancée with her very own nightclub, and Jackie Jr. at last succeeds in giving his girlfriend what he tried in vain to deliver last week. In some of the other forty-three subplots in this week's episode, AJ trashes his school, Furio is as funny as always, Jackie Jr. starts breaking into the business, and last but never least in my heart, Aaron The Narcoleptic Doppelganger is still just trying to spread the good word. |
2001.04.22 2001.04.29 |
B+ |
Aaron |
| 3-8 Recap |
The Art Of Whore
He Is Risen - It's all strategy and tactics this week, as Joey Pants and Johnny Sack maneuver to catch Tony in their pincers. But it's not until Gigi fights a losing battle with his own colon that Joey gets the battlefield promotion he's always wanted. In a rearguard action, Meadow manages to repel Jackie Jr.'s initial advances, but reconnaissance indicates that Little Lord Fuckpants will be storming the beaches at Dog One any day now. And while all's now quiet on the Carmela front, Tony's new luxury car does come FULLY equipped, which is sure to ignite a nuclear firestorm of its own. |
2001.04.15 2001.04.21 |
B+ |
Aaron |
| 3-7 Recap |
Answer: Life, the universe, and everything
Second Opinion - Question: Name three things that depress Carmela this week. In other news, Junior gets a harsh treatment for his cancer while his doctor gets an even harsher treatment for his poor bedside manner. Christopher suffers the slings and (apparently tiny) arrows of Paulie's in-your-face (and nose) management style, and Angie Bompensiero fails to translate her oodles of poodles into pools of moolah. |
2001.04.08 2001.04.13 |
B |
Aaron |
| 3-6 Recap |
Girls, Interrupted
University - It's ladies night on The Sopranos, but the specials are death, depression, and, well, dickheads. And that doesn't even count the cover charge for the VIP room. Tracee the Dancer, Caitlin the Roommate, and Meadow the Daughter all learn some very important life lessons that may or may not make things better for them. It's another brutally brilliant episode, complete with mystery, misogyny, and the missionary position. Don't miss it. |
2001.04.01 2001.04.07 |
A |
Aaron |
| 3-5 Recap |
Requiem For A Gladiator
Another Toothpick - Oscar fever extends even to The Sopranos, and we've got all your best picture needs right here. Charles Dutton plays a depressed cop struggling with corruption after he gives Tony a traffic ticket, Burt "Coughing Mobster, Hideous Driver" Young gets one last chance to be a gladiator, Meadow still loves her chocolat, and Bobby Bacalovich is just a sensitive, down-on-his-luck working man trying to get by in an unjust world. |
2001.03.25 2001.04.01 |
B- |
Aaron |
| 3-4 Recap |
Sympathy for the Devil
Employee Of The Month - When Melfi's world is shattered by a vicious assault, she's forced to confront her feelings about the men in her life. Meanwhile, Tony "Mother's Little Helper" Soprano tries to quash Jackie Jr.'s debut as a street-fighting man, Joey Pants learns he's now in exile on Main Street, and Janice can neither get nor play "Satisfaction" when Svetlana makes her pay for her sticky fingers. As for Meadow (who's sans Brown Sugar this week), well, you better not start me up. |
2001.03.18 2001.03.22 |
A+ |
Aaron |
| 3-3 Recap |
And onward goes this thing of ours
Fortunate Son - Flashbacks and therapy teach Tony that lunch meat makes him faint, while football and family dinners teach AJ that he has the same taint. Christopher finally gets made, but quickly learns that it ain't that quaint. Meanwhile, Meadow thinks Noah's a saint (which Carmela accepts without complaint), and Jackie Jr. lacks restraint. Janice pulls a roommate feint, and Suddenly Svetlana's leg disappears, presumably for a new coat of paint. |
2001.03.11 2001.03.17 |
B+ |
Aaron |
| 3-2 Recap |
Public Enemy No. 1
Proshai, Livushka - A movie about a doomed gangster and his loving mother provides the backbone to this week's second major mother fatality. And while Joyce was by far the superior parent, Livia will be much more sorely missed. In other news, Tony sees the light at the end of the therapy tunnel, and Furio is revealed to be a closet Survivor junkie. Special guest appearance by the creator of the Livia-bot himself, George Lucas. |
2001.03.04 2001.03.10 |
A- |
Aaron |
| 3-1 Recap |
The meaningless and all that's true
Mr. Ruggerio's Neighborhood - With the Feds trying madly to bug the Soprano basement, we get a re-introduction to all the characters we've come to know and love. Pretty much everything the FBI hears is meaningless, while everything Paulie says about urine is absolutely true. The jury is still out on whether the new lamp will be meaningless or not. I'm betting "not." |
2001.03.04 2001.03.06 |
A- |
Aaron |
| Extra |
Woke up this morning
The Mexican - And I flew to Mexico in a complicated attempt to get me a gun. |
2001.03.02 2001.08.12 |
C- |
Montykins |
| 2-3 Recap |
Meet Richie Aprile
Toodle-F***ing-Oo - Follow this: Jackie Aprile's brother, also known as Adriana's uncle, Richie Aprile, just got out of the clink. He wants his old job back. Things have changed since Richie was last around. |
2001.01.30 2001.07.28 |
A |
Pamie |
| 2-13 Recap |
Like shooting Pussy in a barrel
Funhouse - Pussy's fucked. Literally. |
2000.04.09 2001.10.11 |
A+ |
Pamie |
| 2-12 Recap |
Richie! Richie! Richie!
The Knight In White Satin Armor - There's no Esai Morales when this Richie dies. |
2000.04.02 2001.10.05 |
A+ |
Pamie |
| 2-11 Recap |
Best. Line. Ever.
House Arrest - Richie's doing bad things, causing Tony to go through several panic attacks when he's not allowed to conduct business as usual. |
2000.03.26 2001.10.03 |
A+ |
Pamie |
| 2-10 Recap |
Guns, bottled water, and camping supplies
Bust-Out - As Tony depletes David's camping gear store to repay his gambling debts, he also makes plans to go on the lam. |
2000.03.19 2001.09.26 |
A |
Pamie |
| 2-9 Recap |
"Hell is Irish people"
From Where To Eternity - Christopher is clinically dead for one minute, forcing him and everyone else in the family to contemplate their own mortality and afterlife. |
2000.03.12 2001.09.04 |
A |
Pamie |
| 2-8 Recap |
"Oh! That jacket."
Full Leather Jacket - Carmela shows her mob skills when she tries to get Meadow into Georgetown. Richie gives Tony a gift. The Monkey Boys come up with a stupid plan to move up. |
2000.03.05 2001.08.07 |
A |
Pamie |
| 2-7 Recap |
Jon Favreau = yummy with a spoon
D-Girl - No, not Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau. Vince Vaughn isn't in this episode. They just talk about him a lot. Vince Vaughn, not Jon Favreau. He's actually in it. Jon Favreau, I mean. |
2000.02.27 2001.03.13 |
A+ |
Miss Parker |