More VCR-related props to my mom. Mom's motto: "Bailing Your Ass Out Since The Early Seventies."
Previously on Flea Market Bingo: A team reshuffling sent Kwame and Troy to hang with the babes at Protégé, and sent Amy, Katrina, Tammy, and Ereka to boogie with the dudes at VersaCorp. The challenge of the week was to resell items at a flea market, and the lackluster parasol-related goings-on at Protégé were simply no match for the ribbon-ironing and mad t-shirt skillz of VersaCorp, which finally racked up a VersaVictory to offset its endless VersaVanquishings. Protégé PM Kristi fretted as she prepared to face Trump, and she went to her BFF Jessie for advice. Jessie promised to support her, and advised her to just remain quiet as much as possible in the event she was attacked. In the Boardroom, however, Jessie turned on Kristi (her BFF! Kristi is so taking her friendship bracelet back!) and blamed her for the defeat. Because Kristi sat idly by while everyone piled on her, Trump discovered her soft, spongy spine and fired her, which obviously totally pained him, because she was the cutest one. Oh, and Heidi complained a lot, about everything and everyone, and she was extremely rude to Trump, proving that sometimes first impressions are pretty much accurate. "Who will be fired this week?"
Credits. "It's nothing personal. It's just business." Well, and hating. Oh, yes, pure but impersonal hating. It's the magic behind reality television and most will readings.
Heavy thumping music brings us back again to lovely Manhattan, where the Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch is in full swing. Heidi, Kristi, and Assorama-lama-ding-dong are missing, so of course, the decibel level in S4 has dropped considerably, as has the overall Obnoxious Harpy Quotient. The happiness can't last, however, because eventually, someone will return. Troy and Kwame give the scoop to the rest of the kids to the effect that the heat on Kristi was initially pretty intense as heat goes, but that then things started to get personal between Kristi and Assorama. Jessie leans against a tree in her beige cardigan sweater and tries to sound earnest while interviewing that Assorama's returning in an un-fired state would make her question the entire game. Yeah, where's the integrity? It's like a girl can't keep her job by mercilessly screwing over her gullible friends anymore. By the way, if you pay any attention, you'll note that this interview doesn't take place until after the task, so she's actually referring to Assorama's being fired or not at the end of this episode. The editors are like, "Eh, no one will notice," because they don't have internet access at the office.
Boardroom. George and Carolyn are soon joined on their side of the table by Donald. He calls it "a close match," and says that while they "didn't do terribly," they lost, and somebody has to go. Troy "Just As Long As It's Not Me" McClain, asked for his opinion, says that he thinks Omarosa did a "fantastic job," even though he initially questioned her leadership. Heidi, asked to comment on Assorama, says that she was "pleasantly surprised." Heidi then makes what I think is probably a mistake by saying, "We couldn't have done anything different." I think a guy like Trump always wants to see you looking for things you might have been able to do differently. "But somebody has to go, Heidi. Who do you think has to go?" "It's a very, very difficult decision," she says. "But who has to go?" he asks. "I wouldn't make that decision," she says. He asks her if this means she won't make any decision, and she insists that because she's not the project manager, she doesn't have to, and she seems to just not get that he wants her opinion, and he's saying she does have to, because he's the boss and he's telling her she has to. Anyway, she eventually gives up, after more hedging than a professional topiary gardener, that the only person who had any difficulties was Jessie. So maybe Jessie? I swear, she is such a weenie. What happened to "up-front"? Trump turns to Jessie. "Who should go?" Jessie muses that sometimes leaders "succumb to the pressure," which is also unbelievably weak, as a response. Pressed for details, Jessie just repeats that she thinks Assorama "is a good leader," but just "succumbed to the pressure."
Trump turns to Assorama and asks her -- is this true? "Absolutely not," Assorama says. "I was born to be a leader." I'm sorry, but...of whom? Seriously. Who would follow someone who has nothing but contempt for everyone she comes in contact with? "There was a weak link," Assorama says, "and she's trying to protect herself." Kwame is asked what he thinks, and he says Assorama did a great job. But he thinks Jessie "had the most difficult negotiation." Trump has to ask about three times, but Kwame eventually admits that he probably thinks Jessie is the most ripe for a firing. Man, I have seen criminal defendants who are more forthcoming with answers. Jessie argues that the reasons for the difficulties with Mizrahi were that he knew better what would be a valuable "experience" with him, so he was better able to decide.
Asked how Heidi did, Assorama calls her "fantastic." She goes on, "I haven't always been a fan of Heidi...I haven't always felt that she was professional, or that she had much class or finesse, but..." Heidi laughs uncomfortably, because she really has no choice. "That's one of the worst compliments I ever heard," Trump says, and initially, I think the women think he's teasing, but he's dead-killer-serious. Trump keeps on about that being a pretty crappy remark, which I agree with, and Heidi protests, "I have a lot of class." Heh. Good one. Trump asks Heidi if she thinks Assorama has class, and Heidi says that she didn't used to think so, but now she does. Again, Heidi has no choice, because she's decided to play this scene from the acting manual labeled "Passive" instead of "Aggressive." Moreover, when Trump asks Heidi whether she likes Assorama, she says earnestly, "I do like her." Trump expresses some surprise that after Assorama's last remark, Heidi would still like her. Assorama is still smiling pleasantly, insisting that she and Heidi are "very candid." Of course, they're both being completely the opposite of candid, especially Heidi, who is pretending not to be bothered by someone taking shots at her, because we're all such up-front and fearless people. "She's entitled to her opinion," Heidi says. Well, that's big of her, and also true, but it doesn't really answer the question. "I know myself, I have class," Heidi finishes firmly. Hee. Hee hee. Oh, that Heidi.
Trump turns to Carolyn. "What do you think?" he asks her. Carolyn looks down at her notes calmly, and then she turns to Assorama. "Isaac's last name?" she says. Assorama looks visibly ill. "Miz-a-ra-hee," she says, still not really quite right. But much closer. Carolyn says, "You learned that a little too late." Assorama plays it off, talking about how terribly funny it all is, because people get her name wrong, too, and she hates it, so it's not bad that she flubbed it, it's just amusingly ironic. Carolyn points out that she finds it odd that Assorama would rail at Jessie for not having handled the negotiation professionally when she herself didn't even get the man's name right. And, I would point out, Assorama also did a completely ass job of handling the mistake, in that instead of apologizing, she acted like it wasn't, as Jessie would say, impor-tant. Jessie points out that she and Assorama were actually paired up to do that negotiation, so they share the responsibility for the fact that it didn't go well. "You were the lead, Jessie," Assorama snips. "Please take responsibility for your actions." The unadulterated level of snot in this remark is what I think Trump is talking about for the entire remainder of this conversation. There comes a point where you do not allow people to speak to you in certain ways, and Assorama has just cruised right by that point. "Do you like [Assorama] the way she just talked to you?" Trump asks. "I do like [Assorama]," Jessie insists. Again, Trump is flabbergasted. How can Jessie like someone who talks to her so contemptuously? "She's got a very sharp edge," Trump says. He turns to Heidi and dismissively says, "She destroyed you with a compliment," at which point Heidi jumps in and says, all fake-bravado, "She didn't destroy me." See, Heidi, he's not asking you whether she did. He's telling you that she did, because what he means is not that you were wounded by it, but that she made you look like an ass. Which she did. Trump returns to Jessie and her claim that she likes Assorama, who is treating her like crap. "Either you're not telling the truth, or you're not very bright." Ouch. And...yes. I love it when Donald Trump is the voice of reason. It makes the universe feel kind of slanted.
Anyway, it's time for Assorama to bring people to the final table. Trump tells her flat-out that he thinks she was "very rude" to Jessie and Heidi, just as a side note. Unsurprisingly, these are the people she brings along. Troy and Kwame retire to the suite. The ladies retire to the yellow couch in the lobby.
After the commercials, it's time for the firing at last. Asked for his thoughts, George says that he thinks Assorama has a "tendency to be abrasive." He thinks that this has an effect on a leader's ability to "handle all [the] troops." He then says he thinks she "overmatched" Jessie with Mizrahi, going on to say that Mizrahi is a character and it "wasn't a good leadership decision." I'm not sure if that means Jessie shouldn't have been the lead, or what. He says, "[Assorama's] leadership quality is in question." Carolyn says that Assorama "may possess certain leadership qualities, but [Carolyn] really didn't see them come out today." Trump calls the women back in.
When they're back, Trump asks Jessie why she should not be fired. Jessie says that the reason she shouldn't be fired is that character is important. "Do you think these two people have good character?" "I think that Heidi has great character," Jessie says. Aaaaand? Assorama? Jessie says, "I like [Assorama] very much." Trump says, flat-out, "I can't believe that. You're saying you like her, and maybe that's a smart thing to do, but I don't believe you like her." He turns to Heidi. "And I don't believe you can like her the way she talked to you, either." "Ummmm, no," Heidi says with a grin, getting the scent in the wind. Of course, given that five minutes ago, she said, "I do like her," that's a problematic effort at wiggling. Trump now turns to Assorama. He asks her why she shouldn't be fired. She says that it's because she demonstrated leadership. How? Does she think that belittling people is leadership? Or cowing them? That's not leadership, that's just bullying. Trump asks Heidi who she thinks should be fired. She tries again to save her own wimpy butt by saying that for being called classy and unprofessional, she would say Assorama. Trump talks some more about how ridiculous it was that Jessie and Heidi both sat there while Assorama treated them like crap, and he makes it pretty clear that no amount of backtracking at this point is going to fool him.
Back to Jessie. Trump tells her, "I think you were overly nice to [Assorama], who treated you terribly. And I don't love that." I really liked that line. I am particularly happy to see a very powerful man saying to a young woman who wants to work for him that niceness at all costs is not what he's looking for from her. What I like about the way he handled this (I'm serious! I was totally pro-Trump!) is that he made it clear that he does not endorse Assorama's brand of abusive bitchery, but that he also doesn't expect Jessie to sit by and smile while somebody tries to step on her. He's rejecting the model that all of these three women seem to be operating under that it's a choice between being a nasty wretch and being a doormat. I would also point out that Heidi and Jessie, in a sense, really insulted Trump when they put on those happy faces after being dicked over. What they're saying to Trump by using that particular method of sucking up is that they don't believe he will find Assorama's behavior offensive, despite the fact that it was unmistakably offensive, and they're not sure he'll respect them for standing up to her. It's as if they're saying they don't trust him to be on the right side of a battle between a total jerk and the person that the total jerk is pounding on, so they're hedging by pretending they don't mind. It would bug me too, I think. I feel Donald's pain. Anyway, he tells Heidi she's basically guilty of the same thing, although she seems a little more experienced and a little tougher about it. I'll take "more experienced," anyway.
"[Assorama]," he says, "you were very rude to these two people. How they took it is unbelievable to me, because you were rude. You are rude." She makes a face, which I'm sure will really help. He says, though, that worse than the rudeness is the fact that Jessie sat still for it. Trump starts to fire Jessie, and she tries to cut him off -- remembering, undoubtedly, Kristi's experience with failing to defend herself. She tries to talk to him about who he wants representing him, but she's getting nowhere, because it's just plain too late. "Please don't fire me, Mr. Trump," Jessie says, and that's just…unseemly. "Jessie, you were the worst negotiator. But worse than that, I hated the way you took so much crap from [Assorama]. To me, that was a form of weakness." He keeps it up: "I didn't like what she was doing, and it was repulsive to me. But worse, was the way you took it." "Please. Please," Jessie pleads. "I have no choice, and I have to say that you're fired." Assorama smirks, and I really think she might want to reconsider that, given that he did just call her behavior "repulsive." I'm not sure she has a lot to be happy about. They're all dismissed.
As Jessie leaves, Trump says that he fired Jessie for failing to stand up for herself, even though she's "a nice girl." They all agree that things are going to get more and more difficult from here on out. Jessie gets into her cab.
In her post-show taxi interview, Jessie just seems completely shell-shocked, talking about what a good experience she had. She still doesn't manage to say, "And Assorama is a total bitch," which would have been the only way to save her dignity.
week: Katrina has a hissyfit. Apartment renovations. Something bad happens to Heidi. Assorama has more problems. Looks like quite an episode.