In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Getting from Istanbul to the destination of Moscow proves tricky enough for the racers that the six remaining teams end up on three different flights. James & Abba and the Chippendales arrive in Russia's capital in the middle of the night, while Trey & Lexi and the twins show up early in the morning. They're all in time to enter a sculpture park at opening time, where they collect a clue for the Detour.
In the "Alphabetized" option, they have to dive into the massive card catalog of the Russian State Library, Cyrillic alphabet and all. Trey and Lexi manage to complete this out of luck and sheer determination and end up with a lead that they hold onto all the way to the Pit Stop. Meanwhile, Jaymes & James and Natalie and Nadiya do the "Synchronized" option, in which they have to temporarily join the Russian synchronized swim team. Both those teams struggle a bit, and the twins even consider using their Express Pass, but eventually they make it out of there and on to the Roadblock at the Trees of Love. There, Trey, James, and Natalie have to painstakingly disengage a ribbon containing their clue from a tree of padlocks, using a provided key ring. They all eventually finish and make it to this week's Pit Stop, the Bolshoi Theater, in that order.
James and Abba have a tougher time, however. After bailing on the library task, the swimming task proves no easier, and they have to make a number of attempts that they claim is in the double digits before earning their clue. And when they finally make it to the Roadblock, their cabdriver leaves without them. But with their stuff. At this point, all Team Metal can think to do is finish the Roadblock and proceed to the Pit Stop with the clothes on their backs and the cash in their pockets, at which point Phil tells them they can't check in without their passports. Which they do not have.
But I've only told you about four teams and there's six left, right? Well, that's because Abbie & Ryan and Brent & Josh decided, way back in Istanbul, to roll the dice (or in the goat farmers' case, flip a coin) on a one-hour layover in Frankfurt to try to get an earlier arrival time in Moscow. Needless to say they miss that connection, and there are no flights out until the day. But in the course of a long night in the Frankfurt airport and a subsequent connection through Warsaw, they form an unlikely alliance in which they agree to run the leg together, even though (or perhaps because) there's no way they aren't going to be last. Indeed, Trey & Lexi have completely finished the leg before these two teams even get to Moscow. And when they do, the library is closed, meaning the synchronized swimming Detour is their only option. Abbie & Ryan kill it, while it turns out Brent can barely swim at all. But they're still sticking together. And Team Metal still doesn't have their passport. So how else can this episode end but with the dreaded, "To Be Continued"?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Instead of the usual shots of landmarks and historic buildings, footage of a belly dancer welcomes us back to Istanbul. Can't see those anywhere else in the world. Phil's voice once again reminds us that the city is built around the famous Bosporus strait that divides Europe and Asia, on the shore of which is the 446-foot yacht Savarona. Phil actually got to board it for this sequence, standing very near the bow like the Prime Minister of the World as he tells us that it's the start of the seventh leg. Of the six teams remaining, Trey & Lexi won the leg and thus are the first to depart for this one at 12:35 PM. That's an alarmingly civilized hour, if you ask me. The first clue is sending them to Moscow, which Phil reminds us is the capital of the largest county in the world, Russia. There, they'll have to find their way to Zurab Tsereteli Sculpture Park to find their clue. As we see Team Austin go in search of a cab to the airport, Trey explains that they've been dating for three years, but between one thing and another, haven't actually gotten to spend much time together until the race. Lexi says this is just what they needed for their relationship. "Hopefully there'll be a ring on my finger soon, but that's his call," she laughs desperately. Trey: "Easy." No, Trey, she's not. That's why she wants a ring.
Abbie & Ryan start their leg at 12:56 and learn that they're getting $420 for this leg of the race. Sounds like a lot of long cab rides coming up. Before they leave the mat, Ryan interviews that Natalie and Nadiya have been riding Trey & Lexi's coattails, as though there's such a thing. If anything, it's more the other way around. Abbie agrees, but Ryan insists that just makes him more motivated. Well, that and the fact that they're still in the running for the two million dollars. I was really hoping they'd be gone by now, if only for that reason (which, I hasten to assure you, is not the only reason). I do like Ryan's big talk about how these circumstances make him feel more motivated. As if there are any circumstances under which he would ever feel less motivated (spoiler!).
James & Abba open their clue at 1:03 PM. "Sweet! Money!" Abba sings. Yes, now don't lose it this time. In their pre-leg interview, Abba says that even though they're at less than 100 percent, people are continuing to underestimate them. He goes on that all their problems just prove that "nothing's going to stop us." Fate hears that and boldly responds, "I accept your challenge!"
Trey & Lexi get to the airport and a sign of their travel inexperience is that they go right to the airport's Information desk to ask about flights to Russia. The lady basically waves them over to the Aeroflot counter, because the Russian airline seems like the way to go. But they get confused and end up instead at the counter for another carrier that begins with A, Alitalia. Where the agent not only subtly mocks them for trying to fly to Russia from Turkey on an Italian airline, but tells them to try Air France or KLM, because the French and Dutch are so much more likely to help. Sure enough, they also strike out there and end up deciding to give up for now and eat instead. That's dumb enough, when other teams could potentially start arriving and snapping up seats that should be theirs, but it's even worse that they pick Popeyes (note to editor: there's no apostrophe in Popeyes, which is why my friend Chao calls it "Pope Yes"). I guess I shouldn't give them a hard time; I've sometimes found that nothing soothes the stress and culture shock of international travel like the occasional Big Mac. And the hearty American fare should fortify them for the impending assault on the ticket agents at Qantas and Aer Lingus.
Natalie and Nadiya open their clue at 1:44 PM and are pretty excited to be going to Moscow. And their cabdriver seems to be pretty happy to have them, sharing his snacks with them and telling them to call him Papa. They interview that they've been coasting on their personality, but need to change that. I'm not sure Ryan would agree.
Speaking of whom, when Abbie and Ryan get to the airport, they get on the internet at a computer kiosk and find an itinerary that involves leaving Istanbul on Turkish Airlines, then transferring to an Aeroflot flight in Frankfurt that should get them to Moscow at 3:40 AM. The one-hour layover in Germany shouldn't be a problem, right? Ryan VOs that it's worth the risk, so they book it. They'll have to book it in Frankfurt too, if you know what I mean.
Jaymes and James are also pretty happy to be headed to Moscow, beginning their leg at 1:55 PM. Also, you know how they've been wearing royal-blue Chippendales T-shirts all through the race? They've changed to red ones for this leg and they look weird.
James & Abba go to a ticket counter with an Inkjet-printed list of Russian cities hung on the glass. They get themselves on a flight that supposedly lands in Moscow at 2:00, with one stop in Amsterdam. Ryan and Abbie must have missed that one. Oh well, it's not the only thing they'll miss.
Finally, Josh & Brent are the sixth and last team to leave the Pit Stop at 2:07 PM. That's less than an hour and a half behind the leaders, which isn't too bad considering they did the Speed Bump twice and a vastly more time-consuming Detour. Brent's pretty happy to see that they have $420 and rather more mock-happy about leaving in last place again. It's getting to the point where they're lucky to be leaving at all.
At the airport, Natalie and Nadiya bid farewell to Papa the cabdriver. Inside, they spot Trey & Lexi, presumably full of fried chicken and red beans & rice, and ask what flight they're on. When Team Austin sheepishly admits that they're kind of still working on that, the twins take charge, leading them over to the Turkish Airlines counter and getting them all on a flight through Munich that's scheduled to land in Moscow at 4:00 AM. So much for Ryan's theory that they expect Team Austin to do all their work for them.
The Chippendales hit the same ticket counter that Team Metal did earlier, and get on the same flight. Wow, look who's going to be in the front of the pack for once.
The Austin/Sri Lanka alliance spots Abbie & Ryan in the crowded terminal, and the latter team not only blows them off, but Abbie makes a face for the camera. "We got a big hint that the game has changed for them," Lexi obviouses. As Team Grabbie proceeds down the concourse, Ryan calls Trey and Lexi "babies" for waiting "for those chicks." "Figure out how to go from point A to point B without someone else's help," he says dismissively and immediately goes on to win the entire leg all by himself (he doesn't).
Josh & Brent go not to a ticket counter but to a travel agency, where an agent tells them about the Turkish Airlines flight through Frankfurt that Abbie & Ryan will be on. The other option presented to them is through Athens, but it lands in Moscow two hours later, which is why they decide to flip a coin. "Heads, Frankfurt," Josh announces, although neither of them looks too happy. Interesting thing about coin flips, guys: they're not legally binding.
Teams start boarding their respective planes. Team Metal and the Chippendales take off on a plane that the subtitle reminds us will land in Moscow at 2:00 AM, via Amsterdam. Trey & Lexi and Natalie & Nadiya depart on the Munich flight that's scheduled to have them in Moscow by 4:00 AM. And as for the plane carrying the goat farmers and Team Grabbie through Frankfurt? Well, the red subtitle popping up that says "Delayed" does not bode well for them. Josh narrates that the flight attendant told them it would be an hour delay, which coincidentally is the time of their scheduled layover in Frankfurt. Eventually it takes off and then Amazing Blue, Red and Yellow lines curve up into northwestern Europe. Despite the delay, the Frankfurt flight actually appears to land first and the two teams on that one dash down the jetway and through the terminal with only three minutes to make their connection. A plane engine starts spinning, a camera careens down another jetway to another open door and the plane takes off -- without them. Oops. But it gets worse. After the ads, they assess their situation and Abbie sees that there are no flights out of here until the following morning. Well, they have one thing going for them: only one of these teams can come in last.
In Moscow, the Chippendales and Team Metal emerge from Moscow's Sheremtyevo Terminal at what is presumably some time between two and three in the morning. And they're strolling at a leisurely pace, because they know damn well that wherever they're going probably isn't going to open for several hours anyway. They get into cabs and Jaymes remarks that this is the first time they've been with James and Abba. I've noticed that too, which is why I so rarely have to differentiate between Metal James and Chippendale James.
At the Frankfurt airport, Team Grabbie and the goat farmers find a counter with a sign that says "Last Minute Tickets" and ask for the fastest way to Moscow. The news that the earliest flight takes them through Warsaw and gets them there at 3:10 the following afternoon is not exactly encouraging. I don't know why Abbie and Ryan are so sad though, because they've never not beaten the goat famers to the mat. "It's not even fun anymore," he complains. Gosh, what happened to that motivation?
At the sculpture park, the sky is starting to look light as the lead teams arrive, because June nights are pretty short here in the northern latitudes. As Abba hobbles stiffly out of his cab, we see that the park seems to have quite a variety of sculptures outside its walls from representations of Blind Justice to Charlie Chaplin and a clown that justifiably freaks James out. And, of course, the front gate is locked, marked by a sign that reads, in Cyrillic lettering, "Hours of Operation: 9:30 AM -- 5:00 PM." Okay, 9:30 is ridiculous. And it's possible that those two teams that are stranded in Frankfurt might not even get here before the place closes, which would put them an entire day behind. I wouldn't even wish that on Ryan. "I guess we're hanging out, kids," Jaymes says as Metal James sacks out between the giant feet of one bronze statue like a low-budget hobbit.
Morning comes and with it the belated -roll of Moscow, with all its onion-domes and what not. It's daylight when the twins and Team Austin come out of the airport and get cabs. Lexi observes that it smells like smoke, whether she means the trunk of their taxi or the whole city, and Trey says in their cab that this is the coldest place they've been to. Here's hoping they get to check out a little South American winter. The twins talk about how it's also humid and clammy, and they carp a little bit in an interview about how the weather is like Seattle's. They soon arrive at the sculpture park, where they're quickly joined by the Chippendales, who are looking pretty fresh, as though they found someplace a little more comfortable to spend the night. $420 would come in handy for that. As Team Metal shows up as well, they all wonder about the absence of the other two teams and speculate they might have missed their flight. Metal James wonders if that's even possible. "I hope so," says Lexi, who has been getting her wishes a lot lately. Well, except for one.
At the Frankfurt airport, those two unlucky teams are boarding their Lufthansa flight to Warsaw, and Ryan narrates that he and Abbie are basically racing against one team now, while Abbie says that "teams that don't like us and want us out are way ahead of us right now." Which will happen if you irritate everyone and then make bad race decisions.
And in Moscow, moments before the gates to the sculpture park open, somebody jokes, "Here comes Abbie & Ryan!" Of course they're not. When the lead four teams are allowed in -- five and a half hours after the arrival time of the later flight that the goat farmers passed on, I'm not too kind to point out -- they make the dash through narrow lanes crowded with statues on every side (so it's less of a sculpture park and more of a sculpture outlet) to find a clue box: first Team Metal, then the Chippendales, then Trey & Lexi, then the twins, all seconds apart. The clue is sending them to a place called Moskvoretsky Most, where there are apparently two red-clad, halberd-wielding guards of Ivan the Terrible waiting to give them their clue. Yeah, I don't imagine their primary function takes up a lot of their time any more.
James & Abba get into a cab, but the others get directions to walk there, which they're told will take about 25 minutes. They have $420, why so cheap? They all run down the sidewalk in a clump as Lexi says it made sense for them all to find it together. What doesn't make sense is not springing for a cab when they're all sitting on four bills. Team Metal gets to the palace more quickly, of course and Metal James spots the two guys on red positioned out on the ramparts of the bridge overlooking a highway beneath. They walk over and collect a clue. For this they had to wait half the night.
As for the clue, it's for a Detour that offers the choice of "Synchronized" or "Alphabetized." Without preamble, Phil explains that in "Alphabetized," the teams will go to the Russian State Library, home to 24 million books and a correspondingly huge card catalog -- where everything is, of course, printed in Cyrillic lettering. This already sounds hard. Each team gets to pick a librarian who will give them a list of books, also in Russian. The racers will then have to pick out four books from the list and then use the banks of card catalogs to pull those four from the stacks in order to get their clue from Olga, the head librarian. This looks like some serious Ark of the Covenant warehouse shit, y'all. For "Synchronized," they get to join potential future members of Russia's gold-medal-winning synchronized swimming team and do a routine to the satisfaction of the coach. These both sound incredibly difficult in completely opposite ways. Abba's worried about swimming with his bad legs, like it's not lower-impact than tramping the shelves at a giant library, but they go with the latter anyway, getting walking directions to the library from a helpful local. Good, more walking for Abba.
The other three teams reach the guards shortly afterward. Trey wants to do the library task, because neither he nor Lexi is confident that he can memorize the routine. The twins go with swimming and so do the Chippendales. Trey & Lexi start walking while the Chippendales hire a cab and the twins discover that it can be difficult to get a taxi while Sri Lankan in Russia, as opposed to in Bangladesh. Odd, that.
Team Metal gets to the library and they hobble up the massive staircase as Abba compares it to the Library of Congress. "We could be in here forever." They find the table of librarians, pick one and are given a list of books listed by author, title and date. They take this and head over to a giant card catalog, which has more drawers than a very big thing with a very large amount of small drawers. And there appear to be hundreds of these wooden edifices all around the floor, so trial and error is clearly not going to cut it. They complain about how there's no way to know in what order the Cyrillic alphabet goes (even as they walk obliviously right past a handy reference sign on the end of a bookcase showing visitors just that) and how it has letters that they've never seen before. After pulling out one drawer, seemingly at random, Abba declares, "I think I'd rather drown." They're certainly in over their heads here, if you'll pardon the expression.
The Chippendales arrive at the aquatic center. Inside, a team in spangly pink-and-white swimsuits dives in and commences a short routine. I don't know how any of the racers are going to do this, which includes one swimmer doing all manner of inverted spins and kicks in the center of a circle of her teammates, but I guess everyone gets pushed out of their comfort zone on this show. Jaymes & James come in, already dressed for the pool in black Speedos, their Chippendale bowties and collars, swim goggles and flowery swim caps. "Looked like Mama from Mama's Family, Jaymes says, which seems like kind of a deep track, pop culture reference-wise. In addition to the swim team in pink suits, there are also several instructors standing by in blue suits to teach the racers the routine. The one Jaymes grabs by the hand shows them four diagrams on the wall of what they'll need to do, showing four different patterns with Jaymes as #2 and James as #8. She shows them the deck moves they start out with and leads them into the pool. So far this seems easy enough to them, what with their eight-count dance experience, but when she starts trying to show them moves in the pool they have to get out and start over so they can see what she's doing, which turns out to involve a lot of rolls and somersaults and other things that prove difficult for large men who are unpracticed in this sport. And yes, I called it a sport. People mock synchronized swimming, but it meets all my criteria for a sport: it's physically demanding, people do it competitively and I will die before I attempt it.
The twins are taking a while to get there and are already considering whether it's time to use the Express Pass they won in the second leg. Which would be dumb, what with another team almost twelve hours behind them (not that they have any way of knowing there's that much of a time deficit), but they have to use it in either this leg or the one anyway, so what the hell? Maybe? At least knowing that the Express Pass has a predetermined expiration date does help me understand why some teams in the past have used it the way they did. Almost.
Jaymes & James make their first attempt at swimming with the team. With the music playing and another swimmer tapping on the ladder railing with a spoon so they'll be able to hear the beat underwater, they dive in with the team. Or, rather, Jaymes dives and James belly-flops. They've barely started when a buzzer goes off because they're out of position. On the second try, Jaymes does a backflip two beats early and again during the third time. The fourth try, they both flip too late. But Jaymes is proving pretty good at narrating what attempt they're on, so that's something.
At the library, James and Abba are still trying to puzzle out the card catalog in Cyrillic and probably wanting to reenact that scene in The Day After Tomorrow and just torch the lot. When Team Austin arrives, Lexi asks how it's going and James advises, in a library-voice, "Run for your lives." They start the task anyway, but they're prepared to bail if this doesn't start happening for them soon. More people should have embarked on land wars in this country with a similar attitude.
And now let's check in with the laggards in Warsaw. "Are we nine hours behind them?" Josh asks, but Ryan says it might as well be 24. Hey, at least they're on the right side of what used to be called the Iron Curtain now. "There's really no point in even racing, these guys," Ryan says. Not sure what that means. Is he saying that the goat farmers are such poor competition that they'll be able to beat them without even trying? Because yeah, I would probably agree with that.
"Didn't they ever hear of Dewey?" Abba asks bitterly. Yeah, he was the guy who defeated Truman. Trey and Lexi, going by the general shapes of letters, seem to find their first correct card with a measure of luck as well. The metal guys, however, decide to switch tasks. And probably make a mental note to rewatch the scene in Ghostbusters when the poltergeist vandalizes the card catalogs at their opportunity.
The twins get to the pool and when they get in the water, they discover that their instructor does not speak English. Sure, subtitles appear whenever she talks, but Natalie and Nadiya appear stubbornly unable to read them from their side of the screen. This seems like something that could be a real disadvantage to certain teams. Either all the instructors should speak English or none of them should. "At that point, we realize that we're screwed," one of the twins narrates. And there's nowhere to keep an Express Pass in a swimsuit, either.
At the library, Lexi and Trey have found the fourth card catalog entry they're looking for. So their librarian leads them through a maze of even more card catalog blocks (each of which still looks like an apartment building at 1/10 scale tipped on its side) and into another area of the library -- through shelves, through a printing room, up a stairwell and finally onto a cramped, windowless floor of shelves with aisles stretching almost literally to the vanishing point. "Your books is... here," the librarian says vaguely. Somehow Trey and Lexi don't instantly kill themselves. Instead, they manage to zero in on their first book and start circling in on the second and third, both of which are in a nearby section. It's not too late to pull a The Name of the Rose on this place, you know.
The twins are taking a crack at it with the synchro team, but neither of them appears to have much affinity for counting out when the moves are supposed to take place, which makes synchronization pretty tricky. Plus it's claustrophobic and intense and "we barely know these girls and we have to have our legs on top of each other and stuff in the water." She's saying that like it's a bad thing. They get the fail-buzzer, and the coach tells them in subtitled Russian, "There are big mistakes. The finish..." and she makes a sort of swirly gesture and ululating mouth noise, concluding, "That was bad." I think the only part of that they understood was the ululating. They again debate using the Express Pass, given that the lack of English is making this really hard. Don't any of the Russian synchronized swimmers speak Hindi either? They could at least meet them halfway then.
We come back from the ads in time to see a replay of most of that whole segment. Their instructor suggests, "Once more, okay?" But they decide to use their Express Pass. They call this across the pool to the Chippendales, who I guess have just been waiting to take another turn until after the twins are done. I was wondering what had happened to them. Jaymes tells them not to waste it, and interviews that they're all almost certainly safe given how far behind the other teams are. Out of the pool, the twins ask, "What if Abbie and them are already here?" "They're not here!" Jaymes scoffs, with unmerited confidence, but of course quite accurately. So the twins are shamed into giving it another try rather than feeling like quitters, which is also to the Chippendales advantage, because if the twins use their Express Pass now, they pass Jaymes & James. I seriously don't think that was even Jaymes's main concern, though. He doesn't strike me as that shrewd.
Trey and Lexi find their fourth book and bring them all back to Olga the head librarian with guidance from their librarian back through the maze. Librarians are bad-ass yo, and I'm not just saying that because I'm married to one who will whup me if I don't say so. Olga checks each book one by one, taking extra time on the last volume, but they're good and they get their clue, putting them in first place. Lexi lets out a low-voiced, "Yaaay!" Must be hard to be a happy cheerleader in a library. The clue is telling them to travel by taxi to the Luzhkov Most, which is apparently marked by something called "Trees of Love" -- and a kissing couple, according to the video footage of the location -- and is where they'll find their clue. Trey & Lexi both seem to like the idea of "Trees of Love," but then they dash off in opposite directions.
Jaymes & James give the synchronized swimming task another try and this time they get through it. It probably helps that neither of them has to perform the solo in the center or the circle, forming part of that circle instead. Their performance isn't perfect, as these things never are, but the coach decides it's good enough to give them their clue in second place. As the twins get back in the pool for another attempt, they tell the Chippendales good job and Jaymes tells them not to get too intimidated by the task. Oh, and maybe ask for an English-speaker like they got.
At the Most with the most (fake trees, that is), Trey & Lexi see at least one wedding party going by and then spot an open chest full of old-fashioned padlocks standing open with clue envelopes sticking out. They claim a clue, which is for a Roadblock that asks the question, "Who's ready to unlock the future?" This is where the Trees of Love come in. These are small artificial trees running along the center of the bridge whose boughs and leaves appear to be made entirely of colorful, frequently heart-shaped padlocks, which Phil claims symbolize eternal love. Yes, that is what locks usually symbolize. Nice attitude toward marriage, Russia. Each tree has also had a red-and-yellow banner added to it that has ten metal grommets with a lock through each one, so each racer will have to use trial and error and a janitor-sized key ring to open all ten of their locks. The clue is inside the ribbon, in the form of what appears to be a hundred-ruble note. Holding it up, Phil says this "will reveal their destination," which must be the building printed on there. Trey agrees to do this one and he gets right to work. While he's trying to figure it out, Lexi passive-aggressively points out the several wedding parties going past. "Don't be getting any ideas, girl," Trey says. Awww...?
Trey has finished unlacing the ribbon. He now pulls a red ribbon from inside the yellow one, extracts a small, silver cylinder and pops it open to find the tightly rolled and folded bill inside. As soon as they can see the picture on it, Phil VOs, "Teams must now figure out that the picture on the back of the ruble is their destination: the Bolshoi Theater." And there it is, big as life, in all its Greek-columned glory. "This opulent nineteenth-century theater is now the Pit Stop for this leg of the race," Phil says from out in front amid the several fountains. "The last team to check in here may be eliminated." Yes, they may, if we ever find out who it is.
Lexi starts chanting for a taxi as Jaymes observes, "They figured it out." And indeed team Austin is soon in a taxi and on their way to what's looking like their second victory in a row.
The twins show up in third place and Natalie gets to work. Jaymes notices a young woman in a hot-pink mini-dress walking by and asks her which club she's going to. "That's a nice girl," he mumbles through a mouthful of Granola bar. "Club gear at three o'clock in the afternoon." But she also has a blurry face, so maybe that's why she doesn't have a job to go to instead. James opens his seventh lock, meanwhile, and Natalie gets her first.
At the pool, James and Abba take a shot at the swimming routine. Abba makes the coach laugh by belly-flopping in, making the coach laugh, and James does his backflip something like three beats early, earning a buzzer. That was a disgrace to bass players everywhere. We're part of the rhythm section, after all.
Trey and Lexi make it to the mat without apparent incident. Phil's standing there to an accordionist who finishes up whatever he's playing with a big flourish before telling them, "Zdravtujitye (Hello.)" and welcoming them to Moscow, Russia. Phil is pleased -- though not in much of a hurry -- to tell them that they're team number... one. They're ecstatic even before Phil tells them all about the trip to Maui they've just won. "It'll be kind of romantic," he adds, which he never said to James & Abba. Phil asks them to rate how in love they are on a scale of one to ten and Lexi puts it at a thousand while Trey wisely keeps quiet. It would have been fun to hear them simultaneously blurt out two different numbers though, especially if Trey had said, like, seven. He interviews that they now know how strong of a team they are, and are ready to win the million. The accordionist plays them a little jig to which they happily dance. Sorry it's not the Wedding March, Lexi.
James finishes unlocking the ribbon. "Good job, James! Hurry up, Natalie!" Nadiya calls out. After unfolding their ruble, the Chippendales get directions to the Bolshoi Theater from someone with an American accent. Who I'm not sure I'd trust. So that leaves Natalie and Nadiya behind to work on the Roadblock with nobody around to see if they continue being nice to each other. Which they don't, and bickering soon erupts as Natalie gets her fifth lock and each of them calls the other the worst partner ever. I'm sure Flo's partner would beg to differ.
Josh & Brent and Abbie & Ryan finally show up at the Moscow airport and get into separate cars, but tell the drivers they want to go together. Ryan talks about how they're half a day behind and Brent asks Josh if he has any fight left. Josh claims he still has a little fire in the belly, but from the looks of him it must be a tea light. Meanwhile, just as these two teams are getting into this leg's destination city, team number two is already reaching the Pit Stop. And it's Jaymes & James, which is even more embarrassing.
The Frankfurt teams do in fact make it to the sculpture garden before closing time and get their clues sending them to Moskvoretsky Most, which Abbie has a fun time pronouncing as badly as she possibly can. Apparently the secret is to throw in the maximum number of consonants.
Metal James narrates that he and Abba attempted the swimming task ten or twenty times. They go for it again and by the time they dive in with the rest of the team, the coach is clearly rooting for them. Or she's had her standards forcibly lowered so much that she's just happy they were able to make it into the pool correctly.
Abbie & Ryan and Brent & Josh meet the Ivan the Terrible guards. I'm kind of surprised they're the same ones; shouldn't there have been a shift change by now? I guess I'm assuming their function is in any way official, even in a ceremonial sense and that they're not just two bored Muscovites who don't know what century it is. After reading the Detour clue, both teams agree to work together on the library task, but then Ryan notices from the clue that the library closes at 4:00 PM. And if it's not that time already, it will be soon. "Guess we're swimming," Abbie & Ryan both say resignedly. We're reminded of how these two teams are working together for the remainder of the leg, and Abbie explains how you develop a friendship with people under difficult circumstances. And, I would imagine, when you're trapped in an overseas airport together for twelve hours. With, and this is key, no electronic devices.
James & Abba finish another attempt, or possibly the same attempt we left them in the middle of a moment ago. The coach is either on the fence about them or possessed of a good sense of drama (which I suppose you need if you're going to coach synchronized swimming), so she waits a good long time before giving them the thumbs-up and their clue. Upon opening it, James turns to the swimmers hanging from the edge of the pool and announces in his best radio voice (which, as I've noticed, is pretty good), "Girls, we're going to the Tree of Love. Who's going to join us?" The dancers, as the saying goes, laugh.
Natalie finally undoes the last lock with a groan of "Bloody hell, finally." They're all mock-crabby with each other, but now that they have their clue in third place it starts being funny again as Nadiya has Natalie hang a lock back up on the tree to commemorate the visit of an incompetent Sri Lankan. In a post-leg interview, Nadiya assures us, "We get really upset at each other but we just bounce back. We fight like a married couple, we make up like little kids, so it's a perfect relationship." Natalie, with a frozen smile: "...Yeah..."
The two trailing teams get to the pool. Abbie, with her dance background, isn't too concerned about learning the routine. Brent, however, is already in way over his head, if you'll pardon the expression. But Ryan says, "When you jump into a cold pool and a synchronized swim team from Russia is 25 yards away, you tend to perk up. It just clicked for me." With his girlfriend sitting right there, he says this. Meanwhile, Josh & Brent are already getting tired. So much for running the leg together, right?
Natalie and Nadiya arrive at the mat in their hooded jackets and shorts, and smile sheepishly as Phil tells them they're team number three. They're not at all happy with how they did today. "Despite the position we feel like we did really crappy," Nadiya interviews. But they still have the Express Pass, which they hope to use to get into first place the leg. The greeter tells them, "Do svidaniya. (Goodbye.)" That one I knew already.
James & Abba get to the Trees of Love and Abba takes this one. As he gets to work, he tells James, "You don't want that cab driving away with our stuff. You may want to release him because we're going to be here for a while." Gosh, why bother to show such a mundane moment? Well, because then they're soon both looking for the cab out on the road. I know it seems like this is something James could handle on his own, but I think there's a rule that partners can't get more than a certain distance away from each other during the leg, unless of course a Roadblock requires one of them to, say, go jump out of an airplane or something. They point off to the limits of their camera's zoom lens as James says, "Yeah, that blue car in the middle, that's probably him." Abba understandably doesn't like the sound of "probably," so they're going to have to walk up the road together to check it out. As they hike along, James explains that they left the cab on the side of the road somewhere behind them, "got caught up in the challenge" (which probably means they disappeared for a quarter of an hour or more) and are now worried that he left with their stuff. And soon they get close enough to realize the blue car isn't the one they came in. "We just lost all of our stuff," Abba says. Well, maybe Natalie will find it for you again. Only this time they'll know what happened when they see Trey and one of the twins each carrying an extra backpack.
After the ads, Abba's back at the trees while James paces back and forth on the bridge, hoping their cabbie will return. Abba updates us, "Either our cab driver just took off with our bags, and we're done, at which point I'll take these [keys] and throw them in the water or maybe he just got chased and he's slipping around and coming back for us." "Chased?" Yeah, Abba, I don't think Moscow's like that anymore. I guess he didn't come here with Scorpions back in the '80s. As James paces back up to him, Abba wonders if he should even bother and James says he might as well; they're there and there's nothing else they can do. Almost literally. Abba agrees that they're not going to quit and adds, "God, please bring back our stuff." James adds for the folks at home, "Don't leave your bags in cabs, kids." The one bit of good news is that Abba has his first lock open.
At the pool, Brent isn't having a much better time. He keeps entering the pool in a sort of awkward chest-flop, can't tread water and can only do a backflip with Josh's help. Not looking good. Abbie, however, is ready to give it a try. You know, if they were really going to run this leg as a single unit, they could take turns not having Brent on their team.
Abba gets his ribbon disengaged from the tree and extracts the ruble. "Nice going," James tells him over the subtitle putting them "Currently in 4th Place." For all the good it does them. Now all they can do is walk back to the bank and hope their cab is back, which it is decidedly not. James says they need to cut their loss. "You got your passport?" he asks Abba brightly. "Uh, no, I do not," Abba admits. James takes that pretty calmly, saying that's a problem, but they still have their money to get around, so they can go check in and see what happens. "Or we could jump off the bridge," Abba says, only half-kidding.
Despite the day they've had, Abbie and Ryan get some kind of second wind and get a thumbs-up from the synchro coach on what looks to be their first try. After they get their clue though, Ryan says, "We'll watch the boys. They watched us." In a post-leg interview, Ryan explains that they agreed to work together, up to and including waiting for each other if one team finished first. Again, I'm really not seeing how this agreement benefits Abbie & Ryan even a little and all four of them have to know it. And they have to have known it from the beginning, especially when it's almost immediately apparent from Brent's chest-flop into the water on his and Josh's first attempt that they're going to be waiting a while. Ryan's not too nice to laugh at him from the bench and the coach yells at Brent, "Come on, swim!" Brent gives up the attempt moments into the routine and the coach carps, "He wasn't even swimming. He's like a buoy." But less buoyant.
Team Metal is in another cab to what they don't yet know is the Pit Stop and Abba mutters about the driver, "Where's he going? A back alleyway to slit out throats and kill us? That'd be a fitting end to today." You've been hurt before, haven't you, Abba?
Josh & Brent give it another try. It's been long enough that Abbie and Ryan are dressed again and ready to go, but Brent's still not getting it. At least he's figured out that he forgets the moves because he panics every time he swallows water, so that's progress. At this rate they should be done in a matter of hours, and failing that, the library has to reopen eventually.
James and Abba make it to the mat empty-handed. Phil regards them severely, unamused by James's mock-conducting of the accordion player. He breaks the bad news that they're the fourth team to arrive. James puts an arm around Abba's shoulder as Phil goes on, "However, as you know, in order to stay in the race you need to have your passports. I need to know whether you have your passports to check into the mat." Abba says they don't and Phil flatly says, "You need to produce your passports." They sit on the edge of one of the fountains and contemplate their fortunes. Abba says he doesn't know what to do. "I know what he looks like. I know what his cab looks like. But in a city of ten million people, what are the odds of finding the one that you're looking for?" Come on, you guys, think outside the box. You're in Moscow. Has it seriously not occurred to you that the city must be crawling with ex-KGB guys who would be happy to help you out with some fake papers in exchange for $420 now and a share of a million bucks later? It's like they're not even trying to come up with creative solutions here.
However, the show has, and it goes like this: "To Be Continued." Yeah, thought so.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.
Team Metal is in another cab to what they don't yet know is the Pit Stop and Abba mutters about the driver, "Where's he going? A back alleyway to slit out throats and kill us? That'd be a fitting end to today." You've been hurt before, haven't you, Abba?
Josh & Brent give it another try. It's been long enough that Abbie and Ryan are dressed again and ready to go, but Brent's still not getting it. At least he's figured out that he forgets the moves because he panics every time he swallows water, so that's progress. At this rate they should be done in a matter of hours, and failing that, the library has to reopen eventually.
James and Abba make it to the mat empty-handed. Phil regards them severely, unamused by James's mock-conducting of the accordion player. He breaks the bad news that they're the fourth team to arrive. James puts an arm around Abba's shoulder as Phil goes on, "However, as you know, in order to stay in the race you need to have your passports. I need to know whether you have your passports to check into the mat." Abba says they don't and Phil flatly says, "You need to produce your passports." They sit on the edge of one of the fountains and contemplate their fortunes. Abba says he doesn't know what to do. "I know what he looks like. I know what his cab looks like. But in a city of ten million people, what are the odds of finding the one that you're looking for?" Come on, you guys, think outside the box. You're in Moscow. Has it seriously not occurred to you that the city must be crawling with ex-KGB guys who would be happy to help you out with some fake papers in exchange for $420 now and a share of a million bucks later? It's like they're not even trying to come up with creative solutions here.
However, the show has, and it goes like this: "To Be Continued." Yeah, thought so.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.