Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 129 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Istanbul, Not Constantinople
By M. Giant | Season 21 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2012.11.04
Team Grabbie runs into Team Austin while searching for the bathhouse, and they end up finding it and going in just ahead of Team Metal and the twins, one of whom helpfully tells the other, "Go in, you idiot." Inside, it's a beautiful, restful environment, with five guys and seven women waiting to look after them, and Lexi bleating that this is supposed to be one of the thousand things you're supposed to do before you die. I'm sure The Amazing Race has covered a few of those over the last decade. Ryan just says, "I better not get a dude." He gets a dude. They all pick out attendants, get changed, and proceed into the bathroom, where they sit down at their stations and wait to be taken care of. "I feel very Bacchanalian right now," Abba says, chuckling nervously that he's never been in this situation before. Everyone's enjoying having the last two legs' worth of Bangladesh being washed off of them. "You gotta give me your number, dude," Ryan tells the guy who's currently doing his feet for him. Look who suddenly got all open-minded.
Rob & Kelley get to their clue box on the Asian side and get in a cab, currently in last place. By a lot, I'm thinking.
Josh and Brent find the right Maras on the second try, and this guy's also determined to do the whole show for them, so they're going to have to stand there and watch it again. They don't have quite as much patience for it this time, even the new bit where the guy mock-offers Josh a cone hanging from a torso-sized slab of ice cream. Brent's done eating before Josh even gets his, but Josh also finishes quickly and they return in time to get their Detour clue without dropping below fifth place. They decide to go with Simit, on the theory that "The more physical, the quicker." Yeah, the problem with that theory is that it also involves four separate destinations, which entails four separate opportunities to get lost. Take the variables into account, guys. Ooh, now suddenly I want Nate Silver to run the Amazing Race. Which is not really saying much, because right now everybody wants Nate Silver to do everything.
The Chippendales make it to the spice bazaar in sixth place and opt for the Turkish bath as well. Meanwhile, the goat farmers find their way to the bakery, or at least a lovely little courtyard that adjoins it. I say the courtyard is little, but it's big enough for a Turkish folk band to be playing, which you know damn well means they are. Josh & Brent watch a guy walking around with a tray of simits on his head as a demonstration, and then go to stack up a tray of their own. Brent suggests it might be easier for one of them to carry a tray and the other to ask for directions rather than risk dropping them and having to start over. So Josh obligingly sets the heavily laden tray on Brent's head, which turns out to be well-suited for the purpose. "Not a lot of brain there," Josh points out in an interview. They exit the courtyard, and Brent tells Josh, "Ask this guy," referring to the first person they see. Josh does, and all they get is a lot of Turkish and some pointing, so they go in that direction, but not with some bitching from Brent about how Josh didn't understand (I think he understood the pointing, Brent) and how heavy the tray is. And how his arms are getting tired from balancing it. "And it's hot," he whines. Yeah, Brent isn't the one I'm feeling bad for right now.