By M. Giant
The tasks this week are both complicated and physically challenging, so it's a good thing there's a Fast Forward in play. However, Art and JJ and Other Rachel and Dave have each already used one, so they're ineligible for it. Those teams proceed on to a Roadblock where they have to spin ropes out of coconut husks. Seriously. But Brendon and Rachel, who start the leg in second place, figure this is their big chance to jump ahead, so they go for it. The problem is that when they get to the Fast Forward, it's a head-shaving one, like with Uchenna and Joyce back in the day. However, unlike Joyce, Rachel is too vain and insecure to part with her hair, so she and Brendon proceed to the Roadblock, now in fourth place. JJ is mortally offended by this decision, because he thinks that leaving the Fast Forward in play gives Bopper and Mark a chance to catch up, which means everyone else doesn't get to slack, I guess.
But that's only if Bopper and Mark are stupid enough to think nobody else has done the Fast Forward before them. Which, after leaving hours behind everyone else, and then doing a Speed Bump in which they have to paint a tiger on a man's belly, they decide to throw a Hail-Mary and go for it. At the same time, the other teams have proceeded to the Detour. Other Rachel and Dave, Team Big Brother, and Vanessa and Ralph all opt for a task where they dress up an elephant and then wheelbarrow its poo onto a truck, while Art and JJ make the mistake of opting to sift, load, and ship ten crates of dried ginger root, a task that proves both exhausting and time-consuming.
Meanwhile, the three lead teams finish the elephant task and race for the ferry to the Pit Stop. Dave bribes the boat captain to cast off right before the two teams behind them show up, and that's how he and Other Rachel win their sixth leg. Brendon and Rachel catch the ferry along with Vanessa and Ralph, and those two teams come in second and third before, right there on the mat, Vanessa accuses Team Big Brother of cutting corners on the Detour and a minor blow-up ensues, although the two women end up grudgingly shaking hands. Phil fixes everything.
So Bopper gets his head shaved, and Art and JJ finish the Roadblock, tired (and, in JJ's case, bloody). It's the first time I can recall a dramatic race to the Pit Stop for survival thanks to a Fast Forward, but even Bopper's new aerodynamic look isn't enough to allow them to catch up to the Border Patrol, so he and Mark will be going back to Kentucky with nothing but a trip and whatever Art and JJ decide to give them. And the final four -- Other Rachel and Dave, Art and JJ, Brendon and Rachel, and Vanessa and Ralph, probably in that order -- will face off in the two-hour finale week.