In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
The second leg sends everyone to Yogyakarta, Indonesia. Most of the teams learn about the impending double elimination at the starting line, and learn about the leg's non-elimination when Bill and Cathi show up at the airport hours after everyone else. They all take the same plane to Jakarta, where siblings Justin and Jennifer have another big argument about nothing (not the first and not the last) before they all take the same overnight train to Yogyakarta.
In the morning, teams have to spelunk in a giant cave to "find" a mask and a dagger that are literally displayed on posts. But grandparents Bill and Cathi, who amazingly arrive in first place, have to get through a rope-untangling Speed Bump before they can move on to the Road Block. Luckily for them, it's ridonkulously easy enough that they're still near the front of the pack when Bill starts heading down, and he even briefly gets the lead back.
From there, everyone heads downtown to either dance for tips or be motorcycle parking attendants. Either way, they have to bring their earnings to an orphanage, and leave all the rest of their money there as well before proceeding to the Pit Stop. Ernie and Cindy finish the parking task, make it to the orphanage, and get the clue to the Pit Stop first, but they failed to notice the sign telling them to leave the rest of their money as well -- as did Bill & Cathi and twins Liz & Marie. However, snowboarders Andy and Tommy become the first to actually follow directions just as Ernie & Cindy get to the Pit Stop, learn they have to go back, and freak the hell out.
Jenna & Ethan do okay on the dancing Detour, but then briefly lose their clue. Father-son team Laurence & Zac and showgirls Kaylani & Lisa are the only other teams to correctly leave all their money at the orphanage. Andy and Tommy win the leg pretty much by default, despite being only the fourth team to actually reach the mat. For the same reason, Laurence and Zac jump from eighth to second at the mat, and Kaylani & Lisa dodge yet another bullet, going from tenth to third and avoiding double elimination. A raft of teams make it back to the mat in time, the last of them being Amani and Marcus, in ninth place. So teams number ten and eleven are Ethan & Jenna and flight attendants Ron & Bill, both of whom exit the race so gracefully you could puke.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!This...may be the first episode I've ever seen that doesn't begin with the word This. Instead, Phil goes right into talking about Taiwan's rich history, and Martyr's Shrine in the heart of the capital city, Taipei. Over shots of unformed guards parading around, he says that it was built to honor the three hundred thousand Taiwanese war dead. And to further honor them, the Amazing Race has also made it "the start of the second leg in a race around the world." Engaged half-Asian couple Ernie and Cindy, having won the leg, are leaving at 9:28 PM. They open their clue at night, and it tells them they're going to Yogyakarta, Indonesia, which looks like one of those places they send racers just to make them mispronounce it on camera. As always, the racers will oblige. Phil says after they start by flying to Jakarta, they'll take an overnight train to Yogyakarta. The clue also tells Ernie and Cindy that "for the first time in race history, this leg will be a double elimination. The last two teams to check in at the Pit Stop will be eliminated." So it looks like Bill and Cathi really were the only team to be informed of that at the end of the leg. In their cab to the airport, Cindy worries not because this is a threat to them, because they're so awesome, but because it's a sign of lots of new twists. "You can only imagine what's ," she said. So I'm sure they'll be extra vigilant over the course of this leg, to make sure they don't miss anything.
Jeremy and Sandy are leaving in second place, at 9:36 PM, and are also worried about double elimination. "We have to beat two teams instead of just one." So the whole field of eleven teams will really have to step up their game.
Siblings Justin and Jennifer are leaving in third place, at 9:39. Justin interviews that "sibling rivalry is a real thing," which is true, but from what we've seen, what they have seems to go beyond that. Is sibling toxicity a real thing? "If I get angry, she gets a little angry back," he says, while she makes exaggerated bitchfaces behind his back. Doesn't really seem like a healthy dynamic to me. In the cab, he offers to work the cabbie's phone for her, which she shortly refuses. Justin studiously stares out the window, knowing already that it's going to be another long leg.
Ethan and Jenna are leaving in fourth place, at 10:07 PM. Ethan interviews how they were cool coming in fourth, because it shows that despite having won Survivor, they're not superheroes, but regular humans just like everyone else on the race. "Well, they think so," Jenna corrects. I see they've given up trying to keep a lid on their reality TV experience.
Amani and Marcus, the former NFL player, are leaving in fifth place, at 10:15. Marcus, who is never at a loss for a reason to get excited, is currently making do with being excited to say "Indonesia."
The "father-son adventurers" team, Laurence & Zac, head out in sixth place at 10:22, and Laurence mispronounces Yogyakarta worse than anyone. A little vindication for Americans tired of getting beat up for their geographical ignorance. Which, after all, we watch this show to remedy. While they cab to the airport, Zac tries to explain to the camera why the double elimination is significant for them, until Laurence literally holds up a banana he found in his backpack and says, "Banana." Laurence may not be such an evening person, I'm thinking.
Olympic snowboarders Andy & Tommy, who footraced Laurence and Zac to the mat at the end of the leg, rip their clue at 10:23, and are excited to go to "Indo," which is apparently "the ultimate place for a snowboarder to go." We don't really get an explanation from of why that is, and instead have to listen to them say "dude" to each other a lot.
Ernie and Cindy are already at the airport, but they're learning at the ticket counter that the flight to Jakarta isn't until 8:45 the morning. "Looks like a night at the airport," Cindy says. What kind of control freak is she to put up with that, anyway? I know control freaks who would have taken a connecting flight to Atlanta to make the trip faster.
Bill and Ron, the two flight attendants who are also a couple, are the eighth team to leave, at 10:48 PM. Bill (he's the more Nathan Lane-slash-Cameron Tucker of the two of them, not that we know which is which yet) says they're not trying to change how anyone thinks of gay people. However, "We have this thirteen-year relationship of truth and honesty, we're truly in love with each other, we're truly best friends." Which may change the opinion of Andy Rooney, whose final broadcast was just a few minutes before this. Can you believe we finally won that feud?
The ninth-place departure of showgirls Kaylani and Lisa at 11:09 is uneventful, except for how Lisa, unfolding a giant map in the backseat of the cab, elbows Kaylani in the face. That'll learn her to lose her passport. The cabdriver seems to enjoy it, though.
Liz and Marie, the identical twins who are at least helping me out a little by wearing different outfits this week, leave at 11:31 PM, and try not to be negative about the double elimination. You'd think they'd be used to double things by now.
Ethan and Jenna get to the airport, catching up with Jeremy & Sandy and Justin & Jennifer at the ticket counter. Sandy's very worried about the competitive threat that Team Survivor poses, and Justin seems to agree. Jeremy interviews about Jenna seeming nice, but having a "Medusa eye" that keeps one from trusting her. I'm just trying to remember which of my son's friends' moms Jenna looks like and it's going to make me crazy all week. At the airport, everyone speculates about whether a team was eliminated the day before, which segues into its corollary question, "Where's Ma and Pa?"
That's the snowboarders' name for grandparents Bill & Cathi, who are leaving dead last, at 3:57 AM. So they really weren't as close behind the twins last week as some might have liked us to believe. "Excellent job of ripping," Cathi tells Bill, so at least they aren't letting the stress get to them. Bill interviews that they'll have to work "hugely hard" to overcome their current disadvantages, including the double elimination, "But we've had a life of experience together, so we know to stick it out." After being married this long, I would certainly hope so, especially if it's hugely hard. Cathi says that when they get to the airport she hopes they see "all the kids, who won't be so excited to see us, because they think that we are toast, and we are not toast yet." Yet. Indeed, when they get to the airport, everyone else does a good job of looking happy to see them, even breaking into applause at their arrival. Bill jokingly fakes a debilitating limp as Cathi runs up and says, "You don't know how we've missed you." Most teams' pleasure at their survival seems sincere, or at least self-serving; as Jenna puts it, "the more people who are here, the more people that can fall behind." Welcome back, cannon fodder. No, not that team, that team.
morning, everyone gets on the same plane to Jakarta, wiping out the five-hour difference between the first- and last-place teams, as you do. The Amazing Red Line traces a route almost due south to Jakarta, and then an Amazing Dotted Red Line shows the route due east on to Yogyakarta, which I'm sure is exactly as ruler-straight as the map depicts. We see everyone running through the terminal in Jakarta. "I feel like O.J.," Marcus cracks as he runs. Now there's an outdated reference. It's like a struggling art school student saying, "I feel like Hitler." Apparently the train station, Stasiun Gambir, adjoins the airport, and the teams seem to reach it at what looks like about 3:20 in the afternoon. Everyone's still together in the ticket line, and Ron and Bill learn that the train leaves at 5:30. Everyone's going to be together again, all on the same train.
However, while the others are making arrangements, Justin and Jennifer are off to one side, as he's asking her if she wants to find a phone to see what they can do in advance. "Sure," Jennifer drawls at him shaking her head and using a tone that means, "You fucking moron." Jennifer VOs that she and Justin fought a lot as kids, up to and including fistfights. Good that they've moved past that. At this point, they're arguing about whether to make a phone call or go wait for the train, except they're also so not arguing about it that you can't tell which of them actually wants to do what. What they're actually arguing about, and what we've been seeing them argue about all along, is arguing. Jennifer asks what he wants, and he condescends, "I want us to be a better team than we are right now." He yells are her for being hostile, which she is, although she denies it, and he argues that they're supposed to be on the same team. Other teams are starting to look over as their bickering gets more and more circular until they're pretty much just screaming up each other's assholes. Jennifer wants to move on, but Justin would rather resolve their issues right here in the station. Jennifer says she's not going to make any more of an effort to get along than she's already making, I guess because zero is a nice round number, and they yell over each other for a while. "This is the moment to get it out," Justin says, which is a pretty odd thing to say to someone you're about to be stuck on a train with for twelve hours or more, and she storms off saying she wants to go wait for the train. A couple of loud, dramatic shots of them each looking unhappy leads us into the commercials as we're supposed to wonder how long they can go on like this, but instead we wonder why they came on the race in the first place given that they clearly hate each other.
But let's hear more of that argument after the ads, too. Justin interviews that this is an opportunity for a million dollars, "but obviously if we can't get beyond this, all of that comes to an end." Jennifer is sitting to him like that end is coming soon, and she couldn't give less of a shit.
So they all get on the train, and in case you were thinking that "overnight train" meant sleeper cars? Think again. It's seating like a regular commuter train, and that's just on the inside. As Marcus puts it, "The Chattanooga Choo-Choo ain't got nothing on this bad boy." Indeed, the train is so full that people are hanging out the doors and riding on the roof. Which reminds me of a Caption Machine entry so old I only remember it because it's hilarious. Phil tells us that when the train arrives in Yogyakarta, the racers will all take taxis to the Goa Jomblang cave for their clue. We get an overhead shot of the cave, which is out in the country and presents as such a gigantic hole punched in the ground that even these racers can't miss it.
The train pulls up in the predawn darkness, and teams get off and scramble for cabs. Bill & Cathi somehow got themselves into first place. Amani and Marcus keep rocking back and forth in their seats to make their taxi go faster, like it's a Radio Flyer and not a regular car. I guess it works, though, because they pass both Laurence & Zac and Kaylani & Lisa. At some point the sun comes up, and it's 7:30 AM as they're making their way through some suburb. Since Google Maps (eat it, Bing) tells me that it's more than a three-hour drive from Yogyakarta to the village of Jomblang, they could be anywhere in between. Bill and Cathi are a little worried about their upcoming Speed Bump (as though a Speed Bump ever did anyone in who wasn't screwed to begin with), while other teams are more worried about the upcoming double elimination.
But as the lanes narrow and the speed limit rises, some racers' concerns become more immediate, as in whether they'll survive the trip to their destination. They all seem to be in a long caravan of white taxis, with horns of the oncoming traffic Dopplering past inches from their windows. Cathi & Bill arrive first, Bill with a "Yabba dabba doo!" The clues aren't in a clue box, but a metal flower bucket, and they get the first one. As they learn that it's a Road Block, Phil tells us about Indonesia's caves, including this one, Goa Jomblang. From somewhere in its depths, Phil addresses the camera in a mining helmet and spelunking gear as he says that one racer from each team will come down 160 feet to find a Javanese mask and an indigenous dagger called a kris somewhere down there in the dark. For now, the editing makes that seem difficult. After retrieving them, they'll climb a giant bamboo ladder back out and exchange the items with a Patani for their clue. But before anyone can get to that, Bill & Cathi have to do their Speed Bump. This must have been quite a dilemma for the Amazing Editors; it's not often that a team with a Speed Bump gets to it first.
Phil reminds us that Bill & Cathi came in last at the leg, hence their Speed Bump before they move on. For this they have to... untangle a rope. Remember the Gordian Knot from a few seasons ago? That was cool. This is just a tangled hairball that Phil holds up like he just wrestled it out of the ocean. They need to free up enough rope to link it to a tree a hundred yards away or so before they can get back to the race. They find it and get right to work on what Bill refers to as a string of Christmas lights out of Christmas Vacation. What is with the dated references tonight? It's like a season of Rip van Winkles.
Ernie & Cindy are approaching on what appears to be a pretty wild road, full of wandering chickens and large rocks. The road is so bad, in fact, that Marcus compares it to the ones in Detroit. Bill and Cathi are making good progress with their rope when Ernie & Cindy arrive and are "shocked" to see the grandparents already there. Cindy agrees to take on the spelunking task, and as she heads for the cave all geared up, Cathi vows, "We're going to be rocking and rolling right behind them." Liz & Marie arrive in third place, and are loudly unsurprised to be spelunking. As Amani and Marcus arrive, he pries himself out of the back seat of the cab, grunting, "I know how you feel, Big Easy." He's not quite that big, but remember, that was three hours in the back of that cab. Bill and Cathi finish their Speed Bump, so Amani and Marcus are technically in fourth place when they read their clue. Marcus agrees to spelunk, although he has no idea what the word means. "Good lord, I hope I don't have to go up high," he says. Well not exactly. Cindy gets started, apparently having done this lots of times, and she happily starts rappelling down. Marie is not far behind, saying she's going to pee her pants, but she's happy do be doing something she's never done before. I'm sure Cindy, right below her, will appreciate any efforts Marie puts into her continued continence. Marcus tells us that as a deer hunter, he spends a lot of time in trees, "So this is no fear for M.P." Cathi yells, "Attack, attack, attack!" at Bill as he goes over. The four racers proceed down the ropes, all having a great time when they're not busy avoiding trees. Pretty scenery, to be sure.
Jeremy and Sandy show up in fifth place, and Jeremy's taking this. The snowboarders are sixth, with Tommy doing this one. Justin and Ethan are also doing this for their respective teams. Kaylani & Lisa show up in ninth, followed by Laurence & Zac, and Kaylani and Zac will be doing it as well. When Ron and Bill show up in last, Bill is taking it on. You'd think a three-hour cab ride would stretch these teams out a little further. Also, I just now realized that there are two racers named Bill. This is the downside of learning to tell the single-gender teams apart and becoming familiar with their individual names.
The three lead racers (Cindy, Marie, and Grandparent Bill) are down in the cave, walking along and complaining about the dark, although the camera lights appear able to pick them out just fine. Presently they find their way to a spot decked out like some kind of ceremonial setting, with a guy and a gong and a bunch of masks and daggers tied together and hung on stakes, with daylight filtering down from the surface, so it's almost literally impossible to miss them. Editing lies. They grab them and head back, encountering Marcus on the way.
Jeremy is now heading down, as are Justin, Tommy, and Ethan. Good thing there are plenty of ropes. Down below, Cindy, Marie, and Grandparent Bill emerge into daylight to find an enormous bamboo ladder reaching all the way to the surface, easily wide enough for half a dozen people to climb at once, or else two giants, or one colossus. A titan would be screwed, though. Jeremy, Justin, Tommy, and Ethan are down in the cave, which Ethan describes as "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Jakarta." Yeah, no. Kaylani's on her way down, loving every minute of it, as are Zac (who pronounces the scene "pretty sweet") and Flight Attendant Bill. Meanwhile, Sandy, Grandparent Bill, and Cindy, who all started up the ladder at the same time, are drawing further apart as the distance between rungs begins to slow down Cindy with her short little legs. Jeremy and the other guys reach the masks on sticks down below, marveling at how crazy and amazing it is that there are masks on sticks. Grandparent Bill is the first to return to the waiting racers up top. "63 and still running!" Cathi yells, leading the other waiting racers in a round of applause as he gets their clue. Whatever their other failings may be (and I'm not forgetting last week), at least they're good at getting the other teams to root for them.
Suddenly Phil's back in downtown Yogyakarta, telling us that this Detour is all about the streets, and the options are called "Shake Your Moneymaker" and "Be a Ticket Taker." For "Shake Your Moneymaker," the teams have to get to a certain intersection and earn tips from passersby. "One team member must learn a traditional dance while the other accompanies them on a gamelan." Phil just drops that word like we all know what those little metal drums are called. In between dances, they'll shake down passing motorists, aiming for a total of 30,000 rupiah. Which sounds like a lot, but at the current exchange rate it's about three and a half bucks. Time to drop a zero or two, Indonesia, damn. For "Be a Ticket Taker," they head to a mall and work as motorcycle parking attendants, until they've parked enough to earn 15,000 rupiah, or about a dollar sixty-eight, if you've been paying attention. For both options, they'll then have to go to an orphanage (where the children all sing "Helloooo" endearingly to the camera) that houses kids orphaned by the "devastating 2010 eruption of Mount Merapi". Photo of eruption, which does indeed look devastating. At the orphanage, they're supposed to hand over the money they earned during the Detour. But how will the orphanage ever spend this windfall of eighteen to thirty-seven dollars? Well not to worry, because the racers are also supposed to give them all the cash in their possession as well. The "tricky" part is that nobody's going to tell them that; it'll just be on a sign on the donation table that is clearly worded, in English, which reads in part, "you MUST give all the money in your possession to help the orphans." Looks like it's the orphans' lucky day. Or at least a better day than October 26, 2010.
Bill & Cathi quickly decide to be ticket takers ,and run back to their cabs. Marie gets her clue , and they decide on Moneymaker. Then Cindy, in third, decrees that she and Ernie will do Ticket Taker. There's a problem for Bill & Cathi, though; all the cabs are parked so close together that theirs can't get out. Bill deals with this problem by shouting and waggling his finger at the other cab drivers: "Go go go! Hey hey hey! Cha cha cha! Blah blah blah!" At least his tone is clearly understandable. Because of the parking issue, Liz and Marie are leaving first, looking forward to making money for the orphanage. Or at least pretending to be looking forward to it for the cameras. Marcus finishes , and he decides they're going to dance. The batch of racers is coming up the ladder, while Zac gets his mask and dagger down below. "Everybody's ahead of us," Zac says. "We're dead last. Not the place to be right now. "Well, Kaylani is behind him, and so is Flight Attendant Bill. Ron interviews that he kind of pushes Bill, who says, "He is a great motivator to me, and to be honest, I need that." Too bad Ron's not down in the cave, because Bill's the last to get a mask.
Cut to Liz and Marie arriving at their busy intersection. They risk their lives on a crosswalk, threading between speeding motorcycles until they come up on a dancer and musician in traditional costumes. They put on similar outfits of their own, which come with masks as well, which will make it easier to tell the two of them apart. Liz will dance while Marie drums. They get to work during one of what are apparently very long red lights, and after doing the dance with the dance guide, Liz runs from motorcycle to car to motorcycle with the tip can, collecting until the light changes. She got 6,000 from that batch, so clearly they have some work left to do, unless Liz quickly becomes a better moneymaker-shaker.
Bill and Cathi arrive at the mall and report for duty as parking attendants. They put on orange jackets and start waving bikes in as Ernie and Cindy do the same, just a little further up the block. Yikes, even driving a motorcycle doesn't cure your parking woes in this city.
Jeremy has finished the Road Block, and when he and Sandy reunite to read the clue, she prefers to dance, since she can't ride. Justin and Jennifer are off to be ticket takers, after Jennifer tells her brother he did a good job, in an out-of-character moment. Tommy's , and he and Andy are going to be parking attendants. Tommy says he's happy as long as they don't come in last or second-to-last. Sandy says they can't make a mistake. "You make a mistake right now, it's fatal." Well, unless a whole shitload of other teams also make the same mistake, don't forget. Ethan and Jenna decide to do the dancing, and in their cab back to town, Ethan says there's only one team behind them. "There's three," Jenna corrects. The three waiting members of those teams, Ron, Lisa, and Laurence, are trying to be cool while they wait. Zac is the to emerge, and they're leaving in ninth place to park motorcycles. With two teams behind them, Laurence says in the cab, "This could be the game-clencher right here." Kaylani finishes in tenth, and of course the showgirls are doing the dancing, and Ron and Bill move on in dead last, deciding to be moneymakers as well. "We're not going home," Ron assures Bill. "We're gonna earn the money fast." And even if they don't, they go to Sequesterville, not home. Everyone knows that.
Commercials. Thank God they gave that charisma-free Arby's guy a makeover.
Back from the ads, we get some context for the reassurance Ron gave Bill: he pants, "I can't believe this. Leg two, and we're gonna go home." Which is when Ron assured him they'll do it fast. So now I feel like that vital narrative gap has been filled in.
At the intersection, Liz is confessing that she's a terrible dancer, while Marie keeps drumming and whining, "My hand's getting tired!" Jeremy and Sandy arrive and see them still there, although the twins are now up to 22,000. Marie tells her to go for ten on the round. Why not? It's for the orphans, after all.
Over at the mall, Ernie and Cindy are doing a lot better than Bill and Cathi by virtue of having positioned themselves upstream in the flow of traffic, allowing them to catch all the motorcyclists who want to park before they even get to Bill and Cathi. The snowboarders show up and join the effort. "Can we get a scooter?" one of them asks, just for fun. Justin and Jennifer get to work as well. Cindy and Ernie, however, have already earned their 15,000 goal, so they're done and in first place. Cindy tries to get a high five from Ernie in the cab to the orphanage, and Ernie turns into a fist-bumping spaz, making goofy faces and noises until she's literally like, "Okay." That was weird.
At the tipping corner, Jeremy drums while Sandy "dances," and Marcus does the dancing for his team while Amani drums. Liz and Marie are feeling the pressure. There's some really busy splitscreening as Marcus works the crowd, telling motorists, "We got that kind that jingles. We need the kind that folds." Liz just begs drivers, "It's for children!" Won't someone think of the children?
At the mall, Bill and Cathi are the to finish, so they're moving on in second place. Liz and Marie count up the 35,000 rupiah they've earned, take off the costumes they put on over their clothes, and grab a taxi to the orphanage. Marie says they've never been to an orphanage, and that it's sad to think of because the kids don't have parents. "We know how that feels because we just lost our dad." That's absolutely tragic but not quite the same. And speaking of orphans, here are some future ones, in the form of a family of four driving along to them on one motorcycle.
Ethan and Jenna get to the intersection and suit up, and Ethan tells Jenna she's dancing while he drums. He jokingly tries to kiss her through their masks as she shrieks, "Get dancing!" Not clear on the concept, but when the light changes, she's out there working it while Ethan tells her she looks hot. He's going to be disappointed that they don't get to take these costumes home.
Ernie and Cindy show up at the orphanage and run inside, clear through the building, and to the courtyard out back. The camera gives a nice, long close-up of the sign telling everyone to hand over all their money, complete with highlighting and underlining and everything but flashing lights on our screens. However, Cindy and Ernie hand over just their Detour earnings. In return, they get a medallion with a symbol on it, which Cindy has no idea what to do with. Maybe she should look around the immediate area for other clues, like maybe in the form of a sign or something. Phil explains to us that the medallion is telling them in its own inscrutable way that they need to get to Kraton Palace, "the current residence of the Sultan of Yogyakarta." Dude, my city only has a mayor. It's also the Pit Stop, and Phil warns, "The last two teams to check in here will be eliminated." I wonder how many takes he needed to get that right? Cindy and Ernie head out to find someone to ask what their clue means, but not without the Amazing Editors giving us one more dramatic look at that sadly ignored sign. They get directions to Kraton from a shopkeeper and proceed, totally oblivious to the fact that they just screwed the proverbial pooch. But it's not like the orphans are going to say, "Hey, give us the rest of your money, too!"
Bill and Cathi are getting dropped off at the orphanage, and Cathi tells their driver, "Thank you, we have enjoyed you today." Given a six-hour round trip, I certainly hope so. Liz and Marie arrive right behind them. When Bill and Cathi find the orphans at the donation table, Cathi bows and says, "We have had a wonderful day in your city," hitting the "T" in "city" so hard she earns a fail-gong. Then Bill earns the fail-clatter by handing over just the parking money and failing to notice the sign. As they leave, Liza and Marie take their place and do the exact same thing. Zero for three so far. I guess the orphans aren't having as lucky a day as I thought.
The snowboarders and the siblings are both working the parking lot hard, but Tommy & Andy are the to finish, putting them in fourth place. Justin and Jennifer are in a close fifth. As they leave, the snowboarders see the arriving Laurence & Zac and tell them, "Get after it, guys." Easy to cheer on a team who's an entire task behind you, but the snowboarders had a good time at that one. Justin and Jennifer, on the other hand, ride in stony silence like they're in the cab home from Thanksgiving. Laurence and Zac are soon in their orange jackets, flagging down bikers. Kaylani and Lisa get to the intersection and into their costumes, as Kaylani gets right to work playing the Twilight Zone theme on the gamelan. Amani and Marcus are now done with that task, and so are Sandy and Jeremy. Ron and Bill are just arriving, and it's a good thing they're not on a mission to change hearts and minds because Bill has a lot to say about their costumes. All dressed, he heads out into the intersection, where his first target is a bus full of kids. They're happy to yell and wave at the cameras, at least, even if they don't have an awful lot of disposable income.
The snowboarders talk in the cab about how they're about to bring "caysh" and "monay" to the orphanage, which they have just reached. They run inside and hand over the wad, getting high fives all around. Meanwhile, Ernie and Cindy are the firs to arrive at the mat for the second leg in a row, and they're pretty happy about it, until Phil tells them, "However, there is a problem." At this exact moment, Andy and Tommy are taking their leave of the orphans, but at the last possible second before turning away, Andy happens to notice the sign on the table. Then he takes a closer look and actually reads it. "So we gotta give them all our cash," Tommy says. Andy doesn't get it, at first, but eventually they turn out their pockets. Meanwhile, Phil tells Ernie and Cindy, "Because you didn't see the sign and didn't give all your money [or "monay"] to the orphanage, you need to go back and do so before I can check you in." They heave heavy sighs and head back at an already exhausted run, and Cindy interviews after the leg that when this happened, that she lost it. Indeed, we see her crying as they run through the streets. "Growing yup in a competitive Asian environment, there's nothing short of success. And then you're like, how can you be so stupid to miss one thing?" Especially after all her talk about being aware of twists. She's even still upset about it after the leg. Meanwhile, Andy and Tommy are speculating on how many other teams are going to blow this. Well, at least three so far. Andy says he's glad they saved; "That's more that goes to them." Off they go, with much lighter pockets. They somehow get directions to the Pit Stop, and the discussion as to whether to walk or take a cab is a pretty short one when they remember they have no monay. And Cindy is still crying, "I can't do this!" as she and Ernie run back. She'd better, or those orphans are coming after her.
After the ads, Cindy is still melting down on the way back to the orphanage as she has Ernie take her backpack for her. Ethan and Jenna have scraped up 30,000 rupiah, which they swap for their clue. On their way to find a cab, Ethan asks her if she has everything. "You have your fanny pack?" She does, but an Amazing Cameraman zooms in on their Detour clue lying on the sidewalk. Seriously, can't these racers hold onto anything this season?
Laurence and Zac have 16,000, so they're more than done with the parking task in ninth place and en route to the orphanage. Lisa and Kaylani finish the moneymaker task in tenth, so they're also on their way. Getting into a cab, Ethan asks Jenna if she has the clue. She tells him to check his pocket, but he doesn't have it. They both get out of the cab, because apparently he wrote the name of the orphanage on something, but he doesn't have that so they have to run back for the clue. Ethan says he gave it to her, and she says she forgot it to their costumes. "Why would you forget the clue?" he asks. "Because it was an accident, Ethan." Ask a silly question.
Over at the orphanage, a lot of teams are arriving at about the same time: Justin and Jennifer in fifth, Jeremy & Sandy in fifth, and Amani & Marcus in seventh. And not a one of them notices the sign.
Liz and Marie are the second team to reach the mat, and Phil tells them to go back to leave all their money at the orphanage. They don't seem entirely surprised, but they get pretty flustered in a hurry as they start racewalking back. Laurence and Zac get to the orphanage and hand over their money -- all of it. Laurence looks at the medallion and says something as though he can read it out loud, which seems unlikely given that his earlier pronunciation of "Yogyakarta." Kaylani and Lisa show up at the orphanage right after they leave, and also follow the instructions completely. So that's three teams who did it right, and two of them are ones I wouldn't have expected. Perhaps this was a bit unnecessarily confusing?
Bill and Cathi are the third team to arrive, but since they still have their cash, they have to head back as well. "Dammit, this sucks," Bill says, which is a bit shocking from a guy whose earlier version of an angry tirade was literally "Blah blah blah!" Ethan and Jenna have found their way back to the site of the Detour and found the clue to their discarded costumes. Ethan over-enunciates a plea for their cabbie to hurry and tells Jenna, "We need to bring the clues with us, hon," and lectures her on the proper use of an Amazing Purse. "I didn't do it on purpose," she informs him. At least she isn't still trying to blame him for misplacing it.
Phil tells Andy and Tommy that they're the fourth team to arrive. But there's that magical "however" of the teams that preceded them failing to follow directions, so that makes them team number one, and the winners of a trip to Ireland. Where they will no doubt read every sign they see.
Ernie and Cindy are still running back, Cindy huffing an inhaler and cursing herself, "I'm such a nerd, gosh!" Well, she certainly curses like a nerd. The subtitle "Second trip to the orphanage" appears as they return and hand over all their cash, in rather more of a hurry this time. Running back, she tells Ernie she's sorry, but he says it's okay and they still have a shot to stay in the game. Wait, can't he read too?
Bill and Ron are not only finished with the dancing, they've collected 38,000. "I think that's the most I've ever made with my moneymaker," Bill says. Over the subtitle reminding us that they're in last place, he tells Ron, "If we're going out today, baby, we're going out in style." Off to the orphanage, which is all about style.
Jeremy and Sandy are at the mat, learning like most of the other teams so far that they too need to go back to the orphanage and clean themselves out. Running back, Sandy says, "This is the sprint of our life." Meanwhile, Jenifer flatly tells Justin on their way to the Pit Stop, "I'm at the pace I'm going to go." Justin tells her there's a team right behind them (and indeed, Amani and Marcus are visible in the background) and that they need to move. He starts to jog, and she shrieks, "You want me to pass out?" I'm kind of starting to. She yells that she can't run, which is why it makes perfect sense that she would go on The Amazing Race. By the same token, you should go on Top Chef if you can't cook, Project Runway if you can't sew, and Big Brother if you have any marketable skills whatsoever. Finally they walk onto the mat, and get the same news most teams have, which is that they have to try again. Same for Amani and Marcus, who show up right behind them. "If everybody else did what they were supposed to do, we're in trouble," Marcus says as he and Amani run back. Didn't they pass the siblings already?
Liz & Marie make their "Second Trip to the Orphanage." In the cab headed there, Ethan talks about how cool it is that they get to raise money for an orphanage, and "that's what I'm all about." So he should be happy to give the whole team's money away to them then, right?" But no, he and Jenna miss the sign too. Jenna's had a few things to say about that if you know where to look, but I'm just here to recap the show, folks.
Laurence and Zac learn that they're the eighth team to arrive, and are pretty happy not to be in the bottom two. That is, until Phil whips out the dreaded "however," which is when the father and son learn that because of the screw-ups of "some of the other teams," they're officially team number two. Even better!
On the return rush to the orphanage, Sandy and Jeremy are catching up to Bill & Cathi. They pass them up before reaching it, and divest themselves right before Bill and Cathi do. Another lucky thing for this orphanage is that it's getting almost twice as much screentime as it was supposed to.
Here at the mat are Ethan and Jenna, who admit that no, they didn't hand over all their money, so they have to go back. Which they do, as Ethan wonders how that happens and Jenna says, "Life sucks, we just have to beat two other teams." Which is becoming an increasingly tall order.
Kaylani and Lisa present themselves at the mat, and Phil somberly tells them, "Unfortunately you're the tenth team to arrive. And you know that this is a double elimination leg?" They're starting to blink back tears of defeat when Phil tells them, "But because you guys did what you were meant to do, you are now officially team number three. And you are still in the Amazing Race." They hug as Kaylani tells Phil, "I hate you for doing that." Funny, I feel the opposite.
Ernie and Cindy return to the mat, having given away all their money and now officially team number four. Liz and Marie are team number five, Jeremy and Sandy are team number six, Bill and Cathi are team number seven. "Great recovery today," he adds to the last team. Would have been even better if they'd followed directions. "By leg we'll learn to read," Cathi self-snarks. Justin and Jennifer are team number eight. Justin interviews that the race is harder than they expected. "My goal isn't to come out here and pick on my sister or beat up on my sister. It's to win a million dollars." Jennifer cracks her bitchface long enough to roll her eyes at that, and then she interviews, "I feel terrible, I can't run --" and then she breaks down and covers her face. Yes, she's horrible, but Justin doesn't quite succeed in hiding his satisfaction at her despair while sitting right to her. It's not a question of if they'll self-destruct, or even when, but how ugly it'll be when it finally happens.
Bill & Ron arrive at the orphanage, and their fate in the race hinges on their move. If they read the sign and give up all their money, they're still in it. If they hand over just their 38,000 rupiah and get on their way, they're done. Unfortunately for them, they do the latter. Even when they see Amani and Marcus returning for what Bill & Ron don't know is Amani & Marcus's second trip, they're all "Hang in there," thinking they're the ones who are ahead. Amani & Marcus drop off their cash and head back. Ethan and Jenna also spot Ron and Bill coming back, but as Ethan points out, "We don't know if they're right or wrong yet, though." And it's not like they're about to ask. Jenna reminds him that they have to beat two other teams, and after they drop off their money, Ethan tells her, "We can outrun Amani." Better do it, then; your third million is on the line.
Phil asks Ron and Bill, "Do you have any money on you at all right now?" Bill says they have their money for the race. "You were meant to hand over all your money," Phil says, and sends them back. Off they go.
Marcus is trying to hurry Amani along to the mat. Ethan and Jenna are also making their way back, but only one of those teams is going to survive this leg. And it's... Amani & Marcus, who get back in ninth place, still in the race. They high-five in relief.
Ethan and Jenna get back in tenth place, and Phil tells them that because it's double elimination, they've been eliminated. And they both look pretty embarrassed about it, to say nothing of the producers who must have thought they'd be such a casting coup, only to see them leave like this. "That's sad news," Ethan says. He interviews afterward, "Even though we're incredibly disappointed that it was such a short run, we can't fault ourselves for trying. You know? You gotta try. After I beat cancer, Jen and I made a promise to ourselves that we're gonna take advantage of every single moment." On the mat, he tells Phil, "After what we've been through the last year and a half, just to be here, traveling the world with Jenna by my side the whole time is really what matter the most." They leave the mat, Ethan calling it a blessing. You may have noticed that Jenna was pretty quiet during all that, but don't worry, she's remedied that since the episode aired.
Bill & Ron make it back to the orphanage for their second trip , and as they walk back, Bill natters at Ron's back, "We have more than you can ever win on a TV show. People would pay millions to have what we have." Ron knows, even if he's really not in the mood to hear it right now. "But we're gonna keep going," Bill says. When they get back to the mat, Bill tells Phil -- who's looking at them like they're standing outside an operating room -- that they can take it. "We're strong." Hey, nobody says they're not strong -- just slow. Phil says, "Ron and Bill?" Bill: "Yes, Phil? I know you don't want to say it." Phil says they're the last team to arrive. "And I know you don't want to say this," Bill adds. Phil nods and ruefully Philiminates them. Bill says it's been incredible. They interview that it was "Fun, exhilarating, amazing." And short. On the mat, Bill says this was just a chapter in their own race, "And it's been amazing and it will continue to be." He interviews about how they had an incredible time, and they walk away from the mat arm in arm. The show certainly went out of its way to demonstrate how cool the losers were with everything, didn't they?
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.