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The race stays in Indonesia, where racers have to join a bicycle club to reenact a colonial patrol ride to a Dutch colonial fort, a task during which Ernie's bike loses a pedal and drops him and his control-freak wife nearly to the back of the pack. From there, it's off to a farm where they have to either feed rice farmers lunch and plant rice seedlings; or lead, feed, and water some very noisy and ill-behaved sheep. Both Detour tasks lead to a lot of spills in the rice paddy, especially for Cathi. Amani and Marcus, already in last place, mess up their first Detour choice and switch, widening their lag even further.
After the Detour, everyone heads to a Buddhist temple for a Road Block where they try to count the scores of Buddha statues, broken down by the statues' four different hand positions, which turns out to be quite tricky for most teams. The father-son team of Laurence and Zac, working with the snowboarders, finish first, but get a fifteen-minute penalty for a bucket-related violation in the Detour, allowing Tommy and Andy to win their second leg in a row thanks to other teams' screw-ups. Most of the other teams get terribly stuck on the Road Block, even Marcus, who got the correct answers from the snowboarders on the way out. Jeremy and Sandy, whose taxi broke down, actually catch a break in that they get to walk straight to the Pit Stop while other teams have to go back and pay off their taxis. Amani and Marcus come in sixth as a result of having fired theirs, and the race for last ends up being between twins Liz and Marie and showgirls Kaylani and Lisa. And it's the latter team who ends up last on the mat, suffering Philimination two-and-a-half legs later than maybe they should have.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Again with the no "This" at the opening, as Phil simply tells us that Indonesia has more than 17,000 islands, with Java being home to more than half its people, making it the most populous island in the world. Phil meets us back at Kraton Palace in the city of Yogyakarta, which he says will be the start of the race's third leg. He doesn't say these places were the Pit Stop any more, does he? I guess he's trying to keep us looking forward to the future. And that future begins now! Snowboarders Andy and Tommy, who won the leg, are leaving in first place at 7:38 AM, which is probably the earliest they've ever been awake in their lives. Their clue reads, "Take a ride back into the Dutch colonial era." Phil tells us that the Dutch colonized the islands more than 300 years ago, "and their cultural influence is still seen today, with bicycle clubs like this." Phil gestures behind him, where a column of cyclers in khaki uniforms and pith helmets are following him on his leisurely stroll through the streets. Phil says the teams will join these "local enthusiasts who reenact the bicycle patrols of the 1940s." "Enthusiast" being a euphemism for "dork." They're obviously not in it for the athletic aspect, as Phil observes that the riders are "clearly in no hurry." Upon their group's arrival at Fort Vredeburg (another colonial remnant), they'll get their clue. So this leg of the Amazing Race begins with an Amazing Amble.
Andy and Tommy find the cyclists standing in rows, and pick their group based on the fact that one of its members is smiling. They change into matching uniforms (although they seem a bit disappointed not to get any "cool pins like this guy"), and get on their slow-moving way. They interview that they need to keep doing things right like they did during the last leg. And if eight other teams screw up like last time, so much the better. For now, they're just enjoying a bike ride that's so relaxed that they have time to pop wheelies and stand on their bike seats. Just like the Dutch in the 1940s.
Laurence and Zac are leaving in second place, at 7:57 AM. Zac interviews that his dad is the best traveling companion he could have, adding that Laurence met him at every port when Zac sailed around the world. Sounds a bit like Phil's gig. Laurence interviews about the challenges they've faced together on the ocean, and that the challenges of the race will bring out the best in them. They're on their way. "We're putting Lance Armstrong to shame here," Laurence lies.
Kaylani and Lisa, the Vegas showgirls, are leaving in third place, at 8:02 AM. Lisa interviews about being a single mom and her daughter being her motivation. She's got a picture of the little girl clipped to her backpack, in a cracked plastic frame, and she interviews that she doesn't want to fail her daughter. Well, who does? Although, if Kaylani didn't leave enough food in the house, her performance on the race will be pretty much moot.
Ernie and Cindy are leaving in fourth place, at 8:14, which means their trip back to the orphanage to finish following directions last week added at least 37 minutes to their time. As they find the cycling club, Cindy shares a bit more about the extent of her control-freakiness: she made a packing list three months ago, and had them both studying geography and language, as well as doing lots of exercising. We see her joking that her bike club uniform pants are too tight, "so I must have gotten fatter on the race." Which, if true, would probably be a first. Ernie says he's been living his last six months on her schedule. Only the last six months? What's he bitching about? Soon they're biking along, giving me a chance to think of some other ways Cindy should have had them prepare. Practice driving a manual transmission? Bungee jumping? Emergency vehicle repair? Oops, spoiler.
Twins Liz and Marie have different outfits and different hair this week, which is very nice of them. They're leaving at 8:18, in fifth place. "Twins, riding bicycles side by side," one of them comments once they're underway. I agree, that does seem a little on the nose. Jeremy and Sandy, the previously married couple, are leaving sixth, at 8:21 AM. Off they go, cycling so quickly that a toddler running barefoot is able to briefly gain on them. Seriously, this happens.
Bill and Cathi, the grandparents, are heading out at 8:21, in seventh place. Cathi loves bicycles, unsurprisingly. She interviews that they're 40 years older than the youngest team; "All of these people look like they could be our children." Well, not Laurence. "But we're fearless. At our age, we're gonna die soon anyway, so it's all good." She's laughing while she says this, and one can't help but imagine Phil walking up to a couple of greasy spots at the bottom of a canyon and grimly informing them, "I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the planet."
Andy and Tommy, still in the lead, are unsurprisingly the first team to reach Fort Vredeburg and get their clue. Which tells them to take a taxi to Lesehan restaurant in Salakmalang Village to get their clue. So I guess they got some cash at the beginning of this leg, not that we ever find out how much. Back in their civvies and backpacks, they grab a cab. Laurence and Zac get their clue in second place, not far behind. But Tommy's not worried: "I'm sure there's still teams just starting," he says to Andy in their cab.
Right on cue, mutually-hating siblings Jennifer and Justin open their clue in eighth place, at 8:31 AM. In a pre-leg interview, Justin says, "Everybody's gotten a taste of how volatile our relationship can be." A taste? More like a snoot-full. "The goal today is to focus on the positives and try to get as far away from the negatives... as possible." to him, Jennifer is filled with as much dead-eyed abhorrence as usual, but manages to nod in agreement. Riding the bike proves problematic for her, as she crashes into a hapless pedestrian, but she's having more fun doing that than she does talking to Justin. In fact, if she could have run over Justin instead, she probably would have considered that the ideal experience.
Amani and Marcus are the last team to leave, at 8:32 AM. It's a little jarring to go from two weeks of eleven teams to just nine. They hit the streets at a run as Marcus interviews about the pressure of being behind, but says that he once played a game where they were 21 points behind with four minutes to go and won anyway. I'll take his word for it on that one. The moral? "It's not over till it's over." They're soon on their bikes. Meanwhile, passing through some back alley, the pedal on Ernie's bicycle comes clean off. Control that, Cindy. They have to go back and pick it up, and wait while one of the cycle club guys accompanying them attempts to reattach the pedal. Liz and Marie's group catches up and passes them while they're trying to effect repairs, as does Jeremy and Sandy's. "[Ernie] didn't look too happy," Jeremy says as they go on their way. "Which made me happy." Bill and Cathi head on by as well, Cathi remarking, "Road kill number one." That is some cold, cold shit, old lady. Justin and Jennifer also pass them, but they do so further along the course than the other teams did, which means that Ernie rode it for a while from the first breakdown until the pedal came off again. Meanwhile, one of the cyclists is trying to re-reattach the pedal with twine, which isn't going to work, and Amani and Marcus are the only team left to pass them. But without clearance from the group leader to proceed, Ernie and Cindy are stuck there, at least through the ads. So to misquote an old saying, plans are what Cindy makes while God laughs.
However, the ad break seems to help them get going again, with a jury-rigged pedal, before Amani and Marcus can pass them and drop them all the way to last place. Soon after, the showgirls get to Fort Vredeburg in third place, and Liz and Marie in fourth. Jeremy and Sandy are in fifth, and upon opening the clue and taking one look at what it says, Sandy snaps, "We can't pronounce it, let's go." Sandy won't be your tongue-tied, geographically ignorant bitch, Amazing Race! Bill and Cathi get their sixth-place clue, and Justin and Jennifer finish up in seventh. "We completely lost our third-place position," Cindy says, somewhere behind them. And they also lost fourth, and fifth, and sixth, and seventh place. But at least they didn't panic and throw the Express Pass. I have a feeling they may end up being the first team ever to carry an Express Pass all the way to the Finish Line, where Cindy will carefully divide it into twenty-one equal segments for Phil and the other teams to eat. Marcus is cheering himself along behind them somewhere, as the other teams get into taxis and rejoin the chaotic traffic. "Never a dull moment," Jeremy says after nearly getting killed. Jennifer tries to hurry their driver along, even as Justin asks her not to stress out their driver. "Calm down," she hypocritically snaps at him. Finally, Cindy and Ernie with his tied-on pedal arrive at the fort in eighth place, knowing everyone but Marcus and Amani passed them. And here comes that team too, pulling in not long after Ernie and Cindy are changed and in their cab. They get their taxi too, with the help of Marcus's whistle. Still not over till it's over.
Now we're getting pastoral up in this piece, with lots of lovely helicopter shots of Salakmalang Village. Small boys run through the narrow paths of the rice paddies, where farmers are busily at work. Andy and Tommy get to the appointed restaurant, and again, there's no clue box; just a rice basket on an inverted bushel containing clues. Did they just do away with clue boxes entirely this season, along with Phil's use of the past tense? And if so, why not draw more attention to it? Anyway, the snowboarders learn that they'll be doing a Detour, with the options being "Rice Field" or "Grass Fed." Here's Phil telling us, "Nearly half of all Indonesians work in agriculture." And today, seventeen Americans and Laurence will as well. For "Rice Field," they'll deliver covered lunch trays out to the farmers in the rice paddies. And while the farmers eat, the racers will take over planting, sticking 300 rice seedlings in the mud to earn their clue. For "Grass Fed," they have to fill two large feedbags with fresh grass, then get two sheep and bring them to the sheep shed, where each team will draw six buckets of water from a well and dump them into a trough to get their clue. The snowboarders consider how long it could take to plant 300 rice seedlings and quickly decide on "Grass Fed." They run out through the fields, following the signs to the high, narrow dirt paths that thread between the rice paddies. Tommy looks like he nearly broke his ankle jumping down, so it's a good thing they have snowboarders' balance. They're handed their bags, which they quickly fill and run back with. A little too quickly, as it will soon turn out.
Bill and Cathi are joking in silly voices about being "number one" in their cab when they're passed by Ernie and Cindy, who until just now were team number eight. So clearly Bill and Cathi weren't math teachers. Sandy and Jeremy pass Kaylani and Lisa out on a country road somewhere, which Kaylani is pretty bitter about, especially when their driver laughs about possibly costing them a million dollars. Don't worry, Kaylani, he's just getting started. Amani and Marcus's driver, on the other hand, isn't laughing, and in fact looks so lost that he doesn't laugh until Marcus stresses at him.
At the farm, after we get to look at some animals in the barn, Andy and Tommy are each given a sheep on a leash, which they have to try to lead while carrying bags of grass on their shoulders. The sheep are loudly making their dissatisfaction with the situation known, and not with cute little "baas," either. They sound like old men yelling, "Eaaaahh!" at kids who just ran by and knocked over their backgammon board. Obligatory shot of laughing locals. When the snowboarders make it to the sheep shack, the farmers tell them their grass bags aren't full enough, so they have to go back. Well, that sucks for them.
Laurence and Zac show up at the farm in second place, and also decide to do "Grass Fed." They arrive in the paddies just in time to see Andy & Tommy (who have dropped their sheep back off rather than dragging them all the way across the farm) running back to top off their grass bags, and they hurry over in that direction. "Make sure it's full," Laurence warns Zac. The snowboarders recover their no-less-angry-sounding sheep and turn them in at the sheep shack so they can get started on the water part of the task. Tommy reads from the clue, "As a team, you may only use two buckets at a time." They get to work filling while Laurence and Zac wrangle their sheep over there with some difficulty. Joining the snowboarders at the well, Laurence makes the mistake of deciding he and Zac need more buckets. Tommy warns them to read their clue, but his advice seems to go ignored. Andy & Tommy are still in first when they finish and get a clue sending them to Borobudur Temple, where Phil says they'll climb the steps to the top to get their clue. Laurence and Zac finish adding water to the trough using their illegal extra buckets, and get their clue.
Somewhere behind them, a knot of teams is arriving at the restaurant where the remaining Detour clues are waiting, and make their choices: Justin & Jennifer (Grass Fed), Ernie & Cindy (Grass Fed), Jeremy & Sandy (Grass Fed), Liz & Marie (Rice Field), Bill & Cathi (Grass Fed), and Kaylani & Lisa (Rice Field). Basically, girls don't want to carry bags of grass. The two all-female teams grab lunch trays and head for the fields, which I'm sure will be a relief to the four rice farmers in Indonesia who get lunch today. The other teams are already on their way out to the grass pile. It soon becomes even more clear than before that a snowboarder's balance is invaluable on the high, narrow paths, as Sandy, Cathi (who tries to follow Bill on what he incorrectly thinks is a "short cut" through the swamp), and Lisa quickly find. The teams doing Grass Fed converge on the grass pile, while the twins and the showgirls deliver lunches and put on cone-hats. Teams are starting to return with full grass-bags, and Cathi takes another dive. "You all right?" asks Justin, offering her a helping hand up since it was his feet she just landed at. It's nice to see teams helping each other out, but a) that's just basic humanity, and b) if it had been his sister he would have stepped on her head.
Kaylani and Lisa are busily planting rice. "And I'll be okay if I never have to plant rice again," Lisa says. Liz and Marie are also hard at work at it, but not complaining as much about having to spend less than an hour doing what a depressingly high percentage of the world does for their entire lives. Bill and Cathi head back with full bags, and Cathi -- you guessed it -- falls off the path again. Damn gravity.
Meanwhile, the younger teams doing that Detour option are collecting their sheep, in the face of considerable ovine protests. "Yours sounds like he smokes six packs a day," Jennifer observes to Justin. Cathi? Faceplants again. "I'm good," she says, getting up while looking like she's been mud wrestling. Meanwhile, Marcus is very worried about his and Amani's cabdriver and his apparent failure to get them where they're going. As they should be.
A full task and a drive-and-a-half away, the snowboarders are arriving at Borobudur Temple, just ahead of Laurence and Zac. Both teams tell their cabdrivers to wait, then head in through the temple's international entrance, where they're outfitted with sarongs to wear around their waists before being allowed to enter. We get plenty of shots of the temple, which is an open, pyramidal structure bristling with carvings and statues. The racers' first sight of the temple, however, is as they come around a curve and see it standing at the end of a long, long, footpath. "That's why you do the Amazing Race, for stuff like this right here," Tommy marvels. The first team to climb the steps to the top and meet the guy waiting up there, however, is Laurence and Zac, who somehow stole the lead at some point. Their host hands them a clue, and they just have time to read that it's a Road Block before Phil shows up to tell us that the temple was built in the eighth century, but was covered by dense jungle until it was rediscovered a few centuries ago. "Those who worship here are looking for enlightenment," he says. "And now Buddha will provide teams with the answers they need for their clue." Mighty Christian of him. Walking clockwise, racers will find numerous Buddha statues, each of which features the Buddha holding his hand in a distinct position. The racers will have to demonstrate each position to the judge, and tell them how many statues represent each hand position, in order to get their clue. Sounds easy enough, but you know how this crop likes to make things harder for themselves. Laurence figures he'd better do this one. Andy and Tommy waste seconds doing Roshambo for the Road Block again, like, they can't do this before they get their clues? Andy wins and gives it to Tommy. Both Laurence and Tommy get right to it, and Tommy suggests working together. "I'll count, you remember them," Laurence agrees. He interviews that they're a natural alliance, given that both teams come from a background of adventure. He doesn't mention their shared ability to say the word "adventure" with a straight face in reference to themselves.
The twins and showgirls are still planting rice, and they seem to get done at about the same time, although Liz and Marie get their clues first and are the first to make their way to a spot where they can read their clues, walking "through the poop." Back to their taxis, so they can hurry to the temple, in third and fourth place respectively. Third and fourth. Remember that.
Amani and Marcus finally get to the restaurant and quickly agree to do "Grass Fed." Meanwhile, the middle of the pack are all doing their thing with sheep and bags and water, although Cathi's sheep has gotten away from her and is chasing some children that Cathi calls after to stop, I guess to either help her catch the sheep or to make the sheep stop chasing them. Then, even when she catches it, she has to make Bill swap with her so he can carry the runaway and she can get the more docile of the pair. Yeah, that expression "docile as a lamb?" Clearly bullshit. Amani and Marcus are busily filling their grass bags, aware of being in last place. Jeremy and Sandy finish the Detour in fifth place, followed by Ernie and Cindy in sixth and Justin and Jennifer in seventh. Amani and Marcus are trying to lead their sheep, one of which would rather just take a nap on the path. "Don't lay down on me now," Marcus protests to it, and ends up scooping it up in one arm. But when they get to the sheep shack, they're told that their bags aren't full enough. "Dang it, that's disappointing," Marcus spits. "Shucks," Amani agrees. Such language! But rather can trying it again like the snowboarders did, they decide to switch Detours. Bill and a very muddy Cathy are done with the Detour in eighth place. Back at the restaurant, Amani and Marcus are starting the Detour all over. "God-dawg it," Marcus says as they head out into the paddies with their lunch trays. God says, "Consider it dawgged."
After an ad break and a quick look in on Amani and Marcus as they get underway with the rice planting, we're back at the temple. Laurence is leading Tommy around the walkway, counting away. They come up with 17, 17, 17, and 18 for their tallies. They come out to where the task judge is waiting near their partners, and Laurence guesses, "17, 17, 17, and 18." "Seventeen of what?" the judge asks. Laurence is flummoxed, and the judge smilingly watches him flounder on the line for a bit before finally saying, "Wrong." Laurence and Tommy realize they have to do it again, this time paying attention to each of the hand positions so they can reproduce them. "Take your time, Dad, you got it!" Zac calls after Laurence. "Take your time? What are you guys doing?" Andy ribs him after a long pause. That would have been a better point if Andy hadn't taken so long making it.
The showgirls and the twins arrive at the temple, both telling their cabbies to wait where they are. They make the long walk to the temple (which I'm glad to see they haven't closed to the public, as with so many other places) and the long climb to the top, so they're out of breath by the time they get their Road Block clue asking, "Who is prepared to follow the path to Buddha?" Lisa and Marie will be doing this, and we see them separately reading their copies of the clue, not that either of them understands it.
Jeremy and Sandy are in their taxi talking about not being able to make any mistakes, which of course is a major mistake right there. Right on cue, the taxi's engine light comes on and the driver says, "My car not do this." Soon the taxi breaks down and rolls to a stop, and Jeremy and Sandy, to their credit, decide to just run the remaining kilometer to the temple. Ahead of them, Team Control, the siblings, and the grandparents are already arriving, instructing their drivers to wait. Jeremy and Sandy are trying to flag down taxis as they run, like they're going to find a vacant cab on its way to the temple. The Road Block is going to Bill, Ernie, and Justin, respectively. After some crazy musical editing designed ostensibly to display the number of carvings on the temple but really just to show off some fancy editing, they all get to work. Ernie's off on the wrong foot right away, counting not just statues of Buddha in their alcoves, but the relief carvings of him on the walls, which are much more numerous and a lot less clear, what with the centuries of erosion and all. Justin's right with him, making the same mistake. Marie and Lisa are each counting just the statues, but they're not bothering to look at the hand positions, so they're doing it wrong too. Ernie goes to the judge and guesses 71. Wrong. Justin guesses 69, and the judge suppresses any juvenile thoughts he might be having as he says that's wrong. Lisa's guess: 263. Whoa. Ernie again: 87. Lisa: 200? 201? 202? 203? Wrong every time. Marie guesses 68, which is wrong. Maybe if Liz were screaming more from the sidelines Marie would be doing better. Back in the temple, Marie asks Lisa what she's getting, and Lisa, trying to preserve the count in her head without completely blowing Marie off, says she's up over 400. Yeah, it would be a shame for her to screw up now, when she's so close to the right answer.
Jeremy and Sandy have finally arrived on foot, and Sandy pants, "You have more energy than I do," so he's doing this one. Laurence and Tommy continue counting together. Jeremy asks a local if he knows how many carvings there are, and just gets a nervous laugh in response. Nervous laughs appear to rival rice in terms of the percentage of Indonesia's GDP.
Meanwhile, back on the farm, Amani and Marcus finish planting their rice seedlings and head back to their taxi, describing themselves as tired, disgusting, dirty, disappointed, frustrated, angry, and tired again, but they vow not to quit. Because when is it over? Not 'til it's over, that's when.
Laurence and Tommy are finished with their count, and after verifying with each other, they head back out to the judge, agreeing to keep it quiet. Laurence guesses first, holding his hand in each position as he runs down the totals. After a long, suspense-building pause, the judge tells him, "Congratulations," and hands over the clue, which tells them to go to the Pit Stop. Which is where? "Teams must now search the grounds for the Pit Stop," Phil simply says, and warns that the last team to check in at the mat, which is on a wide lawn somewhere behind the temple, may be eliminated. "No running, no running," Laurence reads from the clue as they leave the temple. It's Tommy's turn now. After also getting it correct, they have to go pay the cab, and as they head out to do that, Andy congratulates Tommy on nailing it, but Tommy gives the credit to Laurence. From what we saw, I would have to agree.
Amani and Marcus have arrived at the temple, and they don't bother telling their driver to wait, on account of how very much they hate him and his ass face. This will be highly relevant later. "We're already in last place, it can't get any worse," Amani interviews, which is usually one of those famous last words people utter just before it starts raining or the siren comes on behind you or you get shot in the face. In the building that serves as the international entrance, they run into the departing Tommy and Andy, and Tommy tells them the whole answer to the Road Block, hand positions and all. Andy is a little surprised, and as they walk along, Tommy explains that they have the choice to control who they want in. Which is rather overstating the case, not least because by the time Amani and Marcus have reached the top of the stairs, she's completely worn out and can't remember her own name, let alone the cryptic little display that Tommy just put on for her down in the entrance building. And she was the one who was paying attention. After opening the Road Block question, Marcus asks her if she can do it or if he should. "I need you to," she gasps, so winded she can't manage more than a whisper. Marcus doesn't argue the point. Down below, Marie guesses 127 and Jeremy 47. Marie and Lisa both reread their clues, for all the good it's doing them. Try holding them right side up, ladies.
Andy and Tommy are back in the parking lot paying their cabbie, as are Laurence and Zac. Then they run back across the grounds, past marching elephants with riders, as Laurence encourages Zac, "Let's be team number one." I guess the "no running" rule only applies to the temple proper. They arrive at the mat, where Phil is standing with a woman wearing a gold chicken on her head, who welcomes them to Borobudur, Indonesia. Phil tells them they're team number one, then interrupts their happy hug with a loud "however," reminding them that they used four buckets at the Detour instead of the two they were supposed to use, so they've gotten themselves a fifteen-minute penalty that they'll now have to wait out. As they walk over to sit under the tree Phil points them to, Laurence says to Zac, "Sorry, man, that was me." Tommy and Andy run up to the mat, and are told they're the second team to arrive, but because Laurence and Zac are waiting out their fifteen-minute penalty, the snowboarders win the leg. Honestly, what are the chances of a team winning two legs in a row as a result of other team's mistakes? Okay, pretty high this season, but the same team? They seriously think Phil's just messing with them, but Phil insists that they've won a trip to Dubai. Tommy says Laurence helped him on the road block, and he and Andy agree that it should be Laurence and Zac's win. "That doesn't mean you can't gift it to them," Phil points out. "Totally up to you." But they know their wives wouldn't be happy with that, so they settle for calling over to the penalty tree, "Talk to us when you need some snowboard gear. We owe you." Also, their wives would have a point; the snowboarders did try to warn them at the Detour. A bit later, Laurence and Zac are officially checked in as team number two.
Back at the temple, Marie joins Ernie and Jeremy and Justin, who are all standing around flummoxed. Okay, maybe it's possible that the clue isn't very clearly written. As Marcus watches from above, it's Ernie who finally decodes the clue to mean that they have to count the statues by each hand position. They head back inside as a foursome. Marcus has counted to seventeen and gotten stuck. Amani hopes that Marcus was paying attention to Tommy earlier, but Marcus tells us, "I was just carrying backpacks and running." So that would be a no. Marcus says, "I should have been paying more attention, 'cause it seems like it'd be paying off right now." All he has to say right now is, "shoot!"
But after the ads, he sucks it up and starts counting again. Meanwhile, the temporary Marie/Ernie/Jeremy/Justin alliance divides up the work so they each count one hand gesture's worth of statues. Bill, Lisa, and Marcus are still working independently. Bill is down with the judge, making his guesses with hand gestures, and at least he seems to have figured out the concept of the solution, even if he's not coming up with the right numbers. "Bill, be quiet!" Cathi yells over from where the partners are waiting. "I can hear you!" He's got it wrong anyway. Lisa's new guess: "Four." Wow. Wrong. Montage of counting. Back up on the temple, Lisa meets up with Marcus and they start working together while the gang of four finalizes their tallies. Bill's going to give it another try first. This time he sits down on the ground in front of the judge, Buddha-style, and slowly goes through his totals while the waiting racers watch nervously. After an eternal pause, the judge finally says congratulations, and all the partners cheer for him. At this rate, the other teams are going to be cheering them all the way to the Finish Line. But only if you get up and take your clue, slowpoke! Cathi's pretty happy, obviously. They open the Pit Stop clue and realize they have to go back to the taxi for their backpacks. Justin is the person to make his guesses, also from a sitting position, I guess because they all saw Bill doing it and figured it was a requirement. "See you all in a minute," Jennifer says as she picks up both their backpacks to run and meet Justin. They read their clue in fourth place as Bill and Cathi hurry to the parking lot. Ernie earns his clue, and then has to look around for Cindy, who's on her way to meet him with both their backpacks. Marie gets her clue , so they're off to pay their taxi in sixth place. Jeremy gets his clue . Lisa is running through her numbers, and gets it right, just as Sandy is reading her and Jeremy's clue in seventh place. She reminds him (and us, the viewers) that everyone else has to go back to their taxi, but since theirs broke down, they don't have one. So that was probably the luckiest car breakdown in Amazing Race history right there. Walking back, Bill says to Cathi, "We're in first place. What more do you want?" "Third," she corrects him. Marcus gets his clue in last place and calls out, "Let's ride!"
Jeremy and Sandy walk past the elephants and up to the mat, where Phil tells them they're team number three. A four-place jump forward thanks to car trouble, which I'm pretty sure is a record. Now most of the other teams are rushing back to their cabs, except of course for Amani and Marcus, who fired their driver and thus never have to see him again. Justin assures his driver that he's giving him plenty in American money, and Kaylani is trying to hurry a tired-out Lisa back to the parking lot. Justin and Jennifer are the team to reach the mat, with Ernie and Cindy directly behind them, putting them in fourth and fifth respectively. Bill and Cathi are searching the parking lot for their taxi, as are the showgirls and the twins. But the grandparents find theirs , effectively putting them in the lead. Amani and Marcus make it to the mat, exhausted and with no idea where they are in the ranking. But when Phil tells them they're team number six, Marcus lets out a celebratory scream, and they hug and high-five. Phil says Marcus looks like he won the Super Bowl, although you can tell he had to stop himself from saying Cricket Open or Quidditch World Cup some other such foreign nonsense. Marcus says that's how it feels, because you need a lot of luck to win the Super Bowl too. Nice of him to acknowledge the role of fortune in this outcome, in the form of being blessed to have a cab driver they couldn't stand for one more minute.
Three teams are still out there, but only one of them has paid their cabbie, let alone found him. Sure enough, Bill and Cathi make it to the mat in seventh place again. Finally, Liz and Marie find and pay their cabdriver, while Kaylani and Lisa are still searching for theirs, wandering through what looks like a marketplace. So it's pretty much over, but when the twins get to the mat, Phil makes them wait (and say "yeah?" in desultory unison when he says their names) before telling them they're team number eight. They're so happy about that they must have been sure they'd already lost. "We're barely making it, but we're still here," Liz says.
Finally, the music gets really sad as Kaylani and Lisa finally make it to the mat. The greeter welcomes them, and Phil breaks the news that they're in last place, and Philiminates them. Lisa starts making the usual standard loser-speech about the experience and being closer together and blah blah blah, but Kaylani doesn't seem to trust herself to speak. "You're allowed to cry, it's okay," Phil tells her. In fact, he gets a bonus if she does. He asks what she's thinking, and she admits that she misses her daughter. Which happens, if you leave for a month. We get another look at the picture clipped to her backpack as Kaylani says she was hoping to go further. "It's not easy being a single mom. I was kind of hoping to do something good for her and I feel like I failed her," Kaylani sobs. Phil kindly says her daughter will be proud of her for giving it a try and never giving up. Phil clearly doesn't know what selfish assholes four-year-olds can be. "Can we go to McDonald's?" "Not tonight, honey." "If you'd won the Amazing Race we could go to McDonald's every night." Their post-leg interview follows the same dynamic, with Lisa talking about the experience while Kaylani sits to her trying not to cry. "I get to go home and I hope my little girl's going to be proud of me," Kaylani says. Lisa says she will. Well, except for that whole passport-losing thing. That little girl is going to have a free pass for losing shit all the way through high school.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.