In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
The racers head to Phnom Penh, Cambodia (not "Sean Penn, Cambodia") after spending a night in the Ho Chi Minh City airport. We're meant to believe that Lance|Keri and Zev|Justin nearly fail to make the first flight, but the amount of time spent building the "suspense" is itself a giveaway of the fact that everyone's going to be flying together yet again.
Once they reach the city, an "editor" at the Foreign Correspondents Club sends them in search of a specific hotel, a search that allows most of them to reveal their shocking ignorance of who Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was.
The Detour is a choice between selling motorcycle helmets (which only Lance and Keri choose, relying of course on their innate charm) and scarf-spotting at the Russian Market.
Then the Road Block requires performing a monkey act. Despite their threatened early setback, Team Asperger's grabs an early lead, cultivating good karma with their cabbie and recovering from Zev's meltdown at the Road Block, ultimately arriving at the Pit Stop first. But somewhere along the way, they lose Zev's passports, so that's not exactly a win. They have to go back and search the course while team after team checks in. Despite arriving at the Pit Stop last, Maria and Tiffany dodge yet another bullet as Zev's passport fails to turn up, and he and Justin are Philiminated. See what happens when you depart from your daily routine?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!How ironic is it that a show about doing things as quickly as possible comes on late so frequently? The worst part is that now my DVR thinks I like Three Rivers.
"This is Ho Chi Minh City," Phil reminds us from the traffic island in the middle of last week's roundabout. Hey, that's my line! Archival news film footage rolls as Phil says, "Once called Saigon, it was the headquarters of U.S. military operations during the Vietnam War. And when Saigon fell, the South Vietnamese surrendered at the Reunification Palace." Was it called that before then? Because if so, I can see why they picked it as the venue for the surrender. In either case, now it's simply the third Pit Stop in a race around the world.
Having arrived first at the end of the last leg, Flight Time and Big Easy are leaving at 6:53 p.m., wearing what I think are their actual Globetrotter uniform shirts. It's also completely dark outside, despite it having been light at 5:45 AM at the beginning of the leg, only two hours away. Some kind of crazy daylight savings time must be going on in this country. They're the first to learn that they're going to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. We're taking our time getting out of Southeast Asia this season, aren't we? This is going to be the third leg in a row on the Indochinese Peninsula. One hates to use the word "quagmire" too quickly, but... Anyway, Phil adds that when they reach Phnom Penh, they'll need to find the Foreign Correspondents Club and track down the "assignment editor," in this case a French-looking actor in Roland Hedley drag peering sneakily around the tropical club from behind a newspaper. They'll have to whisper a request for their assignment to get their clue, which in this case looks like a folded newspaper. The Globetrotters are on their way. We see them interviewing that they get along well with each other because they're teammates in regular life. But then Flight Time overshares that last night he was "cleaning Big Easy's socks and underwear. So if that's not something that's brought us closer, then I don't know what is." Well, that depends; was Big Easy wearing them at the time? In the cab, Big Easy says they're feeling good about wining the last leg, "So hopefully we'll stay in the top three, top five." Whoa, hitch your wagon to that star, guys.
Meghan and Cheyne are of course leaving right behind them, at 6:54. That's it from them for now. Gary and Matt leave in third place, at 6:58, and as they ride to the airport in the cab, Gary interviews that Matt is "bigger than life." Not by Amazing Race standards, he isn't. Gary complains good-naturedly about his son's hair colors, "but I'm learning to appreciate it." Matt, in turn, watches out the window and speculates on Ho Chi Minh City's "hoppin' nightlife." You can tell he's just itching to find a karaoke bar where he can sing "All-Star" and burn the place down.
Maria and Tiffany seem to have finally gotten to the Market, but Maria is wanting to spend a lot of time asking their driver if he's sure they're at the right place, until Tiffany drags her away. Flight Time and Big Easy get their clue in fourth place, and one of them nearly squishes their scarf lady with his backpack as they head out at a run, with their Pennsylvanian tourists now leading them toward the Road Block.
Zev is attempting the final "monkey maneuver," which is to walk along the log, balancing on all fours. Justin tells us something about Zev: "He kind of has the body of an eighty-year-old man." Sounds like the perfect race partner, then. During the task, Justin is trying to give Zev encouragement and hints, and Zev doesn't seem to appreciate it. In fact, he finally snaps, "Please stop!" It's a little scary coming from behind that red plastic monkey mask he's wearing.
Dan's doing this for his team, as Justin warns Zev that other teams are catching up. Zev's still sucking air, though, as Dan quickly racks up two ovals. In fact, Zev ends up collapsing on the straw mat. "I have no energy," he says. Well, that's not very monkey-like.
After the ads, Justin tries to get Zev to pull it together. Zev interviews that he doesn't react well to people yelling at him and telling him what to do, and describes this episode as a panic attack. By this time, Dan has actually finished the task, so now he and Sam are once again in first place as the clue sends them to the Pit Stop, Wat Phnom. "Built more than six hundred years ago," Phil informs us over shots of an impressive edifice, "this Buddhist shrine is the tallest religious structure in the city." The last team to check in may be eliminated. Actually, so might the first team. But I'm getting ahead of myself. And so are Sam and Dan, who quickly hire a tuk-tuk to the shrine while Dan's still wearing his green monkey mask tipped back on the top of his head.
Mika and Canaan now take a turn complaining about the market task. "It was really small, hot and tight," Mika says. Wow, if I didn't know better, I'd say they're going out of their way to be this season's Millie and Chuck "It was just really hard," she adds. Okay, now I don't know better any more.
Maria and Tiffany are issued a green scarf, and they point a passing Gary|Matt in the right direction to the scarf stall, where the father/son team scores a red and black number. Once again, Matt manages to connect their Montana experience to a race task: "We hunt, we spot animals from far away. We can tell at an instant the difference between a male pheasant and a female pheasant." So they thought this would be easy. Plus it gave them a way to defend their manhood after choosing a fashion-oriented task, so, bonus!
Lance and Keri are still trying to unload their helmets, Keri doing most of the barking. A family of four rides by on one motorcycle, but doesn't stop. That's got to hurt. At least Lance doesn't kick them over so he can sell them helmets.
The Globetrotters arrive at the Road Block in third, and Flight Time offers to do this one. At last, Zev completes the task, and they get their clue sending them to the Pit Stop. Brian and Ericka reach the Road Block in fourth place, apparently having been passed by the Globetrotters en route, and Ericka's taking it. Justin and Zev pass them on their way out, Justin congratulating Zev and calling out "Terry!" Terry knows where Wat Phnom is, of course. "Sorry for yelling," Zev says to Justin as he gets in the cab, almost dropping his mask. They make up in the cab. Meanwhile, Flight Time and Ericka are both doing well on the monkey task. Their respective experiences as a Harlem Globetrotter and Miss America has served them well here? I guess?
Meghan and Cheyne finally find a match for their lavender scarf, and head back to the stall, now in fifth place. Mika and Canaan are getting frustrated, as usual. Gary and Matt are the to find a match, so they're in sixth. Both teams are on their way to the Road Block. I'm not sure what the problem is with this episode. Theoretically, a close race should be more interesting, but when almost the whole field is bunched up this much for this long -- especially when the field is still this big -- it just gets boring and confusing. Which I'm sure has nothing at all to do with the tasks that have been assigned to them.
Lance and Keri come upon a family of shoppers on foot in a stall, and convince them to buy the helmets. Keri makes them model the brainbuckets for her before they all mount their one motorcycle and drive away, one step further away from the certain death that awaits them at some point in the future. Now all Lance and Keri have to do is get the ten bucks back to the shop owner, which they do, and they're in seventh. That was way easier than I expected. And by "expected" I mean "hoped."
Sam and Dan yell at their tuk-tuk driver for being slow. Zev and Justin are in a much better mood in their taxi, because Terry fixes everything. Zev admits that he can't do monkey moves, but he shows us what a good monkey face he can make, pulling out his ears and dropping his aw for the camera. Yeah, I have to give him that one.
Flight Time finishes the last monkey move, so the Globetrotters are off in third. Their Pennsylvanians even help them hail a tuk-tuk to the Pit Stop.
Ericka finishes right after, so that's them in fourth. Two other teams arrive, and Meghan and Gary will be doing this one, in fifth and sixth respectively. "Meghan is a monkey and a half," Cheyne says as he watches his girlfriend get her ape on. She finishes the first two quickly, but Gary completes the entire task while she's struggling with the third one. Presumably one spends a lot of time on the farm in Montana imitating a chimpanzee.
Lance and Keri are still in seventh, and she volunteers to do this Road Block. Gary and Matt are getting their fifth-place clue while Meghan continues goofing around in monkey mode, rolling on her side to scratch her ass and what not. If she starts flinging poo, we may see the other FCC tonight after all. They're off to the Pit Stop, as Keri gets started with the Monkey moves.
Maria has resorted to putting her scarf on her head and asking bystanders if they've seen anyone wearing one like it when Tiffany finally spots the right person on her own. Back to the stall they go, just before Mika and Canaan also finish up. Last again.
Terry drops Zev and Justin off outside the shrine, and Justin tells Zev to run. They enter the grounds, climbing a set of steps to where Phil is waiting with a greeter who is wearing a gold pagoda on her head. Phil tells them they're team number one, and they hug and high-five each other, and Phil, and even the greeter. Enjoy your moment, guys. Wait, what do they win?
Sam and Dan reach the mat with their usual level of decorum, Dan once again wearing his monkey mask. He tips it up off his face before Phil checks them in though. In fact, almost every person who did the Road Block from here on out will wear the mask to the mat and then be shown with it tipped up before Phil gives them their ranking. Presumably they're being instructed to make their faces visible so we can see all of their reactions. And Dan does not disappoint, seeming a bit disappointed to have come in second. Clearly Terry > tuk-tuk. Up come the Globetrotters, Flight Time also wearing his mask and capering along. "Look at this, we got another team," Phil says, and tells them they're team number three. Right where Big Easy wanted to be.
You know how once a team checks in, you don't see them again for the rest of the episode? That's not the case with Zev and Justin, who seem to be going through all their stuff. Let's all continue pretending we didn't see the promos for this episode, and maybe what's about to happen won't happen. "We go from last to first, and then we lose our passport," Justin says. Oooh, not good. Zev interviews that they were on the "high of highs," and then after leaving Phil, they discovered that Zev's passport was missing. They wonder if this means they're going to be disqualified. "We should ask somebody," Justin suggests. Good plan. But how are they going to get a hold of Toni and Dallas at this hour?
They return to the mat rather shamefacedly. "What's going on, guys?" Phil asks them rather severely. Zev admits, "We lost our passports." Phil looks like a disappointed dad as he asks, "What happened?" They have no idea. Phil switches back to his host voice, officially informing them, "Zev and Justin, you do not have your travel documents. You need those for onward travel, and unless you find those documents, you'll be out of the race."
That moment is repeated after we return from the break, and he uses a more casual voice to ask if they've thoroughly searched their backpacks. Justin admits they haven't checked. "You should check them," Phil nods, nearly chuckling. They start dumping out all their shit right there. Phil spots a familiar blue booklet among all the crap scattered on the flagstones, and asks whose it is. It's Justin's, which means Zev's is still missing. "It's not here," Justin finally admits after turning this part of the shrine into a Joad family garage sale. As always, Phil knows exactly what to do: "Pack up your stuff, go back out on the course, and find your documents." They slowly turn to obey, and Phil is looped in saying, "You have to be back here with your passports before the last team arrives, or you'll be eliminated. Move as quick as you can." Which they are totally not doing. They're moving like M. Edium does when I tell him to re-roof the house. In a post-leg interview, Justin voices a few theories as to what happened to Zev's passport, but since that implies right there that even after the leg they still don't know what happened, we already know they're not going to find it, at least not in time. So much for any remaining shred of suspense. Phil wishes them luck as they head back out.
Lance yells tips to Keri. She yells right back. "Shut up!" He offers more tips. This time she gives a different response: "Shut up!" But this time she lifted her monkey mask so he can see her say it.
Team Inside Straight arrives, and Maria's doing this Road Block. Keri finishes her second move just before Maria finishes her first.
Zev and Justin haven't even left the shrine yet. But the good news is that Justin still has Terry's business card, so they can call him and ask him to come back so they can check his taxi for the missing passport. "So Terry has to come through one more time," Zev says. Justin says this would be an "awful way to go down." After borrowing a cell phone from someone, Justin gets Terry on the line and asks him to come back and get them. And I'm guessing that Terry checks the car with Justin on the line, because we hear Justin asking with fading hope, "Maybe we can go look at some places together?" The combination of his tone and word choice make him sound like he's about to embark on the saddest house hunt ever.
Keri finishes up, so she and Lance are on their way to the Pit Stop in seventh place. Doesn't the loss of Zev's passport kind of screw up the ranking? Well, Mika and Canaan are still in last place as they finally arrive at the Road Block clue box, so I guess some things remain constant. Maria finishes a second monkey move, and Canaan finishes his first. He's a bit too into it, if you know what I mean.
Terry finds Zev and Justin waiting outside the shrine entrance and politely asks, "You ready, sir?" They aren't shown searching Terry's cab themselves, but I don't know how they'd be able to hold back. Justin directs Terry to start by bringing them back to the "monkey thing." At which Canaan is currently closing the gap between him and Maria. "She's not the most athletic, dancer-y one of the bunch," Tiffany confides. Maybe, but the only reason they're still in this race is because she makes a mean Pho.
Brian and Ericka arrive in third place, still inching to the front of the pack. Now they're team number three, which is the rank the Globetrotters originally had. Which makes sense; Zev and Justin's setback has promoted everyone else. I wonder if the show will ever tell us what Sam and Dan won?
Canaan finishes the monkey task, so he and Mika are leaving in eighth place. Tiffany tells Maria to stay calm, and she finally manages to finishes on her attempt. But they're still in last place. Unless Zev's passport never turns up, of course.
A very sweaty Gary and Matt are team number four.
I don't know where Zev and Justin are now. They're traveling in the back of Terry's cab, talking about how they had the passport at the airport and trying to reconstruct in their memories of what might have happened to it since they got in Terry's cab. "Unbelievable," Zev says.
Meghan and Cheyne are team number five.
It's down to Mika|Canaan and Team Inside Straight for this week's rather unusual version of the race for last. Maria says she wishes she could have "been a better monkey for my teammate."
Lance and Keri arrive at the pit stop in sixth place, and before jumping on the mat, Lance does a roundhouse kick in celebration. Phil just looks at him, shaking his head like, What an idiot. "Oh, man, you're scaring me now," he mocks openly, not that Lance picks up on it.
Zev bemoans their fate of coming in last, "Because I lost a little piece of paper. We would have won the whole thing, too." Justin agrees. Have they even made it back to the Road Block? Not that it matters now, I guess, since everyone else is already at the Pit Stop or on their way there. Even Terry's powers must have their limits.