Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Macau, Right In The Kisser
By Miss Alli | Season 11 | Episode 10 | Aired on 04.21.2007
Danny and Oswald pick the Dragon, and they explain that they have past experience with doing well on dragon-related Detours. Aw! "I'm window shopping!" One of the things that I think they didn't necessarily account for is that this "navigate through the streets" stuff is really much more stressful and difficult when it's pouring rain. At least that's the way it always feels to me, as my glasses cover with rain over and over again. But at any rate, they get in their cab and give the address to the driver. The BQs get to the garden next, and they pull the clue and choose Noodle. ("Choose Noodle" is my next great bumper sticker or T-shirt idea.) In the cab, they talk about how they can do well at this if they just concentrate and go methodically. They're not nearly hysterical enough to be on this show; they're really not. Charla and Mirna arrive next, and they also pick the noodles.
Oswald and Danny's driver does not appear to be quite sure where he's going, and while Oswald is telling himself not to get frustrated, he's clearly getting frustrated.
Eric and Pink get to the garden, but as they run, she falls down flat on her face, complete with record-scratching sound effect. Eric laughs, "Get up! You're fine! Come on, gimpy!" The odd thing is that right there, he showed more affection for her than he has for the rest of the race, if you ask me. "I'm gonna punch you," she says. That's the spirit, Pink! If they were like this all the time, I might believe they were actually dating. They pick the noodles, and Eric says in their cab that he hopes they can just get done with it quickly.
Danny and Oswald's cab. Oswald: "God, grant me the patience to withstand the things I cannot change. And the intelligence to hide the body of this man once I'm done killing him." Okay, if Oswald is looking for suggestions, I think burying the body actually would cause him to be the victim of bad karma.
The BQs make it to Noodle. When they see the guy straddling the pole and bouncing up and down on it, they're a bit taken aback, but then they can only crack up. Kandice rides the pole, and as she bounces up and down, she keeps cracking herself up, which is...come on. It's all you can do. It's bouncing up and down on a pole. "Ride the pony!" Dustin calls out. It's pretty funny, mostly because of the attitude they're bringing to it. It's pretty much that or fake an orgasm, it seems to me, and Meg Ryan kind of ruined the second one for everyone.
Oswald and Danny are totally lost. Oswald gets out of the cab. They actually spot the Detour end point, meaning that they're at the end of the thing and not the beginning. If it were me, I wouldn't get back in the cab. It's three-quarters of a mile through the city between end and start -- I'd tell the driver to get lost and start walking, just asking people on the street where I need to be. Grabbing everyone by the collar if necessary. Instead, they finally find someone who looks at the clue and helps explain it to their driver that they need to be at the other end of the thing. Back in the cab, Oswald says, "Right now, we're in a deep, deep valley, with no light, no sun, no water, nothing." "Oh, no, there's plenty of water," Danny corrects, noting the driving rain. Heh.