Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Back to the (sucking) Windy City
By Miss Alli | Season 6 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.07.2005
As Zach and Flo -- I mean, "Hayden and Aaron" -- look for the bus at the bottom of the hill, she declares herself "this close to quitting." And under my version of the rules, this would result in immediate disqualification, because shut up. Finally, they are directed to the bus, but it turns out to be the wrong one, and Floden turns to Aaron all, "Figure it out." They get off the bus, as he voices over, "I hate China." And then he flings his backpack, because it is totally the luggage's fault. ["I think it was that or box Hayden's ears. I admire his restraint. Well, in theory. In practice: box 'em, son." -- Sars]
As they work along the row of locks, Kris asks Kendra if her finger is getting sore, and the two agree that this task completely sucks. "Some of these locks are from, like, the year 2," Kendra says, which makes me laugh, even though it shouldn't.
In the Aaron/Floden shuttle, he's now explaining that he doesn't really feel like doing it anymore, either, because he isn't having any fun at all at this point.
Back at the top of the hill, El Hornio tries to convince Rebecca that it's fun. Suddenly, Kris makes the lock turn -- woot! Go, go, my favorite team! They get their clue as he's all, "You rock." All boys should say "you rock." (And study The Big Easy. I'm building up quite a list of demands, I realize.) They pull the next clue, which tells them to head down the mountain and travel by bus to Xi'an, where they'll find the South Gate of the Xi'an Wall, where the pit stop is. And this time, Phil will tell you that the last team that shows up is indeed going to be eliminated. "I love this game!" Jon yells excitedly as they run down. "It rocks," Kris agrees. They're going to Disneyland! What especially sucks is that Freddy then sits up on the mountain saying that Kris and Jon have this great luck, as if they didn't spend the entire previous leg and parts of this one getting fucked by cab drivers. I mean, in the individual situation, I see his point, but overall? Please. As Rebecca bitches about how good Kris and Jon must have been in a previous life, El Hornio snarks, "Don't think about them -- they're busy making out on the gondola." Hee hee.
Cut to Kris and Jon, with him smooching her hand in the gondola. It's not all that often I get a chance to say that El Hornio has a point, but he does. Jon raves in a voice-over that Kris operates really well under pressure, as she did there. As they get to the bottom and hop out of the gondola, they run into an approaching Aaron and Floden, who have arrived at last. Aaron says (I think) that seeing Jon and Kris gave him a small flicker of hope. He and Floden hop into a gondola as Kris and Jon speed off in the shuttle. Yay! Go, my favorite team, go!
At the top of the mountain, Kendra gets to the end of the locks and discovers that she apparently missed her lock, so she has to start all over again. And Rebecca actually has the same problem. So this is where it isn't pure luck, because if they missed the lock, then it wasn't a crapshoot; they were probably not as careful as they could have been. When Freddy starts to give advice about going through the locks slowly and carefully, Kendra yells at him, to no one's surprise. ["In her defense (…I know), he had that creepy Dad States The Obvious tone going again. Shut it, Professor Higgins." -- Sars] Finally, Kendra manages to remove her lock from the rope, so they're off. As Freddy and Kendra are leaving, Floden and Aaron are arriving at the Roadblock. "Oh, you got your work cut out for you guys," Freddy says. And I'm sure that really helped the morale situation. Floden takes the Roadblock, as I believe it was calculated that she had to. As she gets going, Aaron points out the obvious, which is that if Floden can undo the lock before Hornio, they'll be right back in the game. Meanwhile, Nuance laments the possibility that everyone might wind up on the same bus to Xi'an, making it a pure footrace.
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