Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Back to the (sucking) Windy City
By Miss Alli | Season 6 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.07.2005
Freddy and the Princess rush for the trains, and Kris and Jon do the same. The show makes it appear that Kris and Jon get on the same train as Nuance, so it should be a straight-up race, but I've heard some rumblings that people aren't really sure they got on the same train. And I wouldn't be surprised, because it isn't otherwise clear how Freddy and Kendra could get a big enough lead to make up for the bullshit she's going to pull in a few minutes when called upon to win a million dollars by eating two slices of pizza, not that I want to give anything away. Anyway, the teams arrive at their station and make their way out of the station. There is navigating on the streets of Chicago. Nuance, however, is first to reach the Water Tower, and to get the clue sending them by cab to Gino's East, a pizzeria where they both have to eat half of a deep-dish pizza. They get a cab right away, of course. Kris and Jon get the clue shortly thereafter, but they have trouble tracking down a cab. Of course.
Nuance gets to the pizzeria. The pizza turns out to be a big nothing, and they each have to eat all of two pieces. TWO. That's the last task. Is two pieces of pizza. A thirteen-leg race, and the last thing they do is eat two slices of pizza. These people really know how to build suspense. It's like...they could not think of one single other thing to do in Chicago, apparently. Nevertheless, the Princess struggles with the pizza, and she thinks it's disgusting. Because she can't do anything, pretty much, without complaining her precious ass off.
Commercials. Everyone loves Honey Bunches of Oats, even people who swim in them all day.
When we return to the pizzeria, the Princess is still complaining, and Freddy is still bitching at her. Kris and Jon are in their cab, and she's sitting on his lap, and she's happily babbling about how she can't imagine anything she'd rather eat at 7:15 in the morning than Gino's pizza. Hee. "It's like dinnertime in China," he deadpans. I'm telling you, that boy is a little bit stealth funny, and they don't show it.
The Princess finally finishes her pizza. It's two fucking pieces of pizza, and she has to make a goddamn production out of it, because she is that big of a spoiled brat. I will never forget Margarita telling me that she dug the fact that she was a lot of people's landmark female Racer, and she still is, and it's like I can physically see the ghost of her cringing at this display. Finally, the Princess chokes down her horrible, horrible pizza, and they get their clue, and it tells them to get a cab to the Ping Tom Memorial Park and follow the flags to the finish line. God. Someone save me from this ending, please.
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