Previously on 101 Reasons To Fire Your Contestant Screeners: Kendra discovered that if you can't put the word "good" in front of it and use it to describe the practice of not spitting when you talk, it's really better to stay away from the word "breeding" altogether. Gus experienced a moment of revelation right here in the middle of this here game show, leaving thousands of confused viewers who saw this listed under "reality shows" to scratch their heads, pop another mouthful of caramel corn, and say, "When do they get naked and eat the bugs?" Lori and Bolo wanted everyone to buy their own plane tickets, and Hayden decided that the way to handle her frustration at this was to point out that Bolo is short. She immediately received the Slow Clapping Medal from the International Society of Yeah, Good One. Victoria's surprisingly sensible refusal to abandon the Spazpants backpacks resulted in their finishing (1) second; and (2) in possession of their passports. This turn of events activated Jonathan's spastic and miscalibrated "YEEAAARGH!" button, and he rewarded Victoria for saving their loot by giving her a revolting shove. Phil looked at Jonathan like he was a piece of dog poo wrapped in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason and topped with Donald Rumsfeld's soul, and suggested he go and make things right with his wife. Jonathan decided that what Phil really meant was "Yell at her some more." So he did, telling her that the race wasn't about compassion. Interestingly, going to the grocery store isn't about compassion, either, but the first guy who handles me (in a hostile way, I'm saying) while I'm shopping for Cheerios should anticipate a lawsuit, a visit from the police, a knee in the groin, and a public flogging. Not that I'm suggesting any of these courses of action, Victoria. Don and MJ were so appealing that it was really sad, though kind of inevitable, when they fell behind again, finished last again, ran out of spare lives, and found themselves Philiminated. Oh, and M. Giant wrote the shit out of the recap, because he's the bomb, and the Minnesota Department of Economic Doohickeys asked us to make sure this show is never outsourced to some out-of-state outfit. Like Wisconsin. Boo! So, with seven teams left, it's time to hit the ground running again. "Who will be eliminated...?"
Credits. In the credits of my imagination, El Hornio stubs his toe on the big, scary gym equipment, cries like a baby, and begs Rebecca to blow his nose. [BOMP.]
Kris and Jon park the cannon. They go get cannonballs, and she says, "Thank you for being so strong, baby." They really do have a remarkable ability to keep it together when they have a less than great day.
Hornio shows up at the castle. Reading the clue, they think the catapult sounds like the way to go. "We can do it! I feel good about it!" Rebecca encourages.
Kris and Jon finish the Detour and leave. In fact, she's pretty sure they can just walk to the train station.
In Budapest, Nuance gets off that lead train and gets a taxi.
Back at the castle, Hornio puts a melon onto the catapult. She pulls the cord, making a "Wh-ssssh!" sound as she does, but the magic charm does not work, and the melon misses its mark. In fact, it appears that, again, it sort of goes the wrong direction. "We're doing the other one!," she enthusiastically declares, thinking that missing is one thing, but risking being conked with a melon (which El Hornio would love, because it would be a tragic and epic way to go) is something else. They have a hell of a time dragging the cannonballs at first. "COME ON!" she orders El Hornio. "PUSH IT!" I have a feeling El Hornio is having a Remembrance of Bossiness Past, and not just about cannons.
There is bad news in wrestler-ville, as Lori and Bolo's car conks out beside the road. Uh-oh.
Hornio reaches the top of the hill with their cannonballs, and she takes the opportunity for an obvious and not-as-funny-as-she-thinks "These are some dirty balls" line. They stack them and get their clue for Budapest. As they leave, they note that they "need to hurry up." Well, sure. Now that she's done with the dirty balls.
Lori and Bolo peer under the hood. "What is it?" Lori asks. Bolo explains that, unfortunately, the motor has "seized up," and there's nothing they can do. "It's done," he says. "This motor's done." I hope they checked the windshield washer fluid, because sometimes, it's that.
Commercials. I wouldn't see The Phantom Of The Opera for anything, ever. Not even if Hugh Jackman offered to take me. Okay, then I would go, but I would wear earplugs.
When we return, Bolo and Lori are sitting by the side of the road, lamenting the wait for a new car. They know that their situation is probably fairly bad, because it should be late in the leg at this point and they don't seem assured of much time to catch up.
Aaron and Hayden are at the train station, not that she believes him the first six billion times he tires to tell her that they're, you know, at the train station. Aaron is beginning to reach the end of his rope with her constant stressing out, and he snaps at her, "You're psychotic. You have to just relax." That's two uses of "psycho"/"psychotic" in the same episode. That can't be good. That's once more than I like it to be used on me. Hayden and Aaron head inside and pay for tickets, and are quickly followed by Kris and Jon, who apparently walked there. Their train to Budapest will leave at 6:30.