Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Barbarians at the gate
By Miss Alli | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 06.18.2003
4:47 AM. ClownJon and Al. They are apparently all psyched up about going to Paris, and they take off running from the mat in a very clown-like fashion. ClownJon, in particular, runs like a windup toy, like one of those sets of chattering teeth with feet. I could watch ClownJon run all day, and I would continue giggling. Hey, maybe that's why he makes a good clown. Anyway, they catch up with Millie and Chuck, and Millie voices over that she digs the clowns. Al adds in an interview that they share information with Millie and Chuck, but in the end, everybody's on their own. Millie explains that the night before, they had all stayed up talking about airports, and they've decided that they want to take a train to the Munich airport instead of heading for Salzburg, because Munich is a "bigger hub." I can see that argument if you needed to fly to either a faraway destination or a smaller city, but I'm not sure I'd spend the time skipping to one big hub to get to another big hub like Paris. Of course, I have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. Or, as my friend the Suriname Scientist's father would say, "50/50 hindsight."
4:57 AM. David and Jeff ("Whooo?"). Jeff voices over as they run from the mat that he and David expected their physical power to be helpful during the race, but it's turned out to be a hindrance, because they "need to put more emphasis on the mental part." Apparently, there can be blood in the calf muscles or in the frontal lobe, but not both. They, too, have chosen to head for Munich, so I'm thinking that right now, the legs are feeling fine.
5:00 AM. Kelly and Jon. She gives a little shriek about Paris, and then she does the off-the-mat voice-over about how she's tired of Jon getting out in front of her all the time, and how he should let her participate more and take the lead more. I would understand her vehemence about that a little more easily if she hadn't so recently called Jon "retarded" for suggesting that Beethoven might have written music in more than one house. Kelly and Jon get a taxi. As they walk away from the pit stop, Kelly says, "Which airport's closer?" and Jon says, "Salzburg," so if you were, say, Millie, and you wanted to claim that Kelly and Jon hadn't thought of going to another airport until they stole the idea from you, you'd be wrong.
Back at the Attnang station that DadSteve and Josh recently vacated, ClownJon and Al and Chuck and Millie are arriving. They all look for a train to Munich.
Meanwhile, in Salzburg, Tian and Jaree have apparently reached the relevant ticket agent first, despite having come through the door after Monica and Sheree and the Chipsters. They get themselves on a flight plan that gets to Paris through Frankfurt. Just behind them are Monica and Sheree, who wind up on these same flights. The Chipsters slide up to the agent third, and Reichen is informed that the plane is full. As he explains this to us, I suddenly realize who Reichen's voice reminds me of. It reminds me of the weasel in Dirty Dancing who tries to hit on Jennifer Grey and wants Patrick Swayze to do the Pachanga. It's an imperfect comparison in terms of personality, but the voice is the same. "I just can't believe it," he mumbles miserably. No kidding. He's so pretty! His jaw is so ruggedly angular, yet so reassuringly gentle! How can this be happening to him?
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