The women anticipate the merge happening and discuss the need to go into it with a united front. The two tribes arrive at the Reward Challenge and Probst tells them they're not merging; they're having a tribal switch, and it's random. So now Salani is Sabrina, Chelsea, Kat, and Kim with Michael, Jay, and Troy. That's a powerhouse tribe right there. Manano is now Tarzan, Chelsea, Jonas, and Leif with Monica, Alicia, and Christina. Wow, Alicia got screwed. She's the only one who got separated from her sub-alliance.
Then they compete in their first Reward Challenge as new tribes. They have to work together in teams of four to carry a giant bucket to a water tower, and then carry it back while using their fingers to plug the holes in the bucket. The first tribe to fill their bucket and raise their flag wins food AND the right to continue living at the One World beach. The losing tribe has to go to a new beach where there is no shelter built. The challenge is neck-and-neck for the first two trips to get water, but then Manano decides to leave without a full bucket because they think they have enough water, and they don't. So the muscle-bound Salani tribe wins reward.
Colton immediately makes an alliance with the women on his tribe, so they have the majority as long as he's not lying. And then he immediately tells Alicia that he wants to get out Christina, but Alicia tells him that's a terrible idea. Later, he tells Alicia that they need to get rid of Monica first, because she's more dangerous. His actual reasoning is that when they finally merge, the other women really liked Monica while they didn't like Christina, so he wants to get rid of her before they merge. Somehow Colton convinces Alicia that they should get rid of Monica and then Christina. This, after Alicia said multiple times that she needs to keep as many women as possible so that they will have the numbers after the merge. Meanwhile, Salani won Reward, plus they caught a ton of crabs, plus they caught another chicken. And then Kim finds the Immunity Idol, and tells Chelsea that she has it.
Immunity Challenge. Three tribe members race to get a ball in the water and then try to shoot a basket while the opposing tribe tries to stop them. The first tribe to make three baskets wins immunity. In the first round, Jay knocks Colton and Jonas down and passes to Michael, who is wide open and makes a basket for Salani. In the second round, Michael gets another open shot but can't make it and Leif shows a lot of heart out there, but ultimately Michael gets another shot and makes it, so Salani has two. In the third round, Monica gets a point for Manano and tries to fire her team up to make a comeback. In the fourth round, Colton actually tries really hard, which is impressive, but then blows his efforts with a wild shot that misses, and allows Michael to make an easy one. Salani wins Immunity.
So everyone tells the women of Salani that they're voting out Tarzan, but they're actually planning to vote out Monica, who has no idea, and is one of my favorite women, so boo, you whores. So everyone votes for Monica except for Monica and Christina, who vote for Tarzan. Christina has to know her ass is grass. And why couldn't it have been Alicia? OR COLTON???? Ugh.
Salani, Day 12. The women are slowly waking up after avoiding a night at Tribal Council due to the men's idiocy. Troy is already over at their camp despite half of them still being asleep. Look at Troy cozying up to the ladies! Sabrina asks him whose idea it was to give up immunity. Troy says that it was Colton's idea and some people disagreed, but they went along with the group. Sabrina interviews that they didn't realize what a mess the men's tribe actually is. After Troy leaves, the women discuss the importance of sticking together after the merge because they don't know what kind of shenanigans the men might get up to. Alicia interviews that the guys screwed up because now the men/women numbers are even and the women are still strong and unified. She's not wrong. As long as the women stick together, they're fine. You hear that, ALICIA?
The two tribes arrive for the Reward Challenge. I am greatly enjoying the fact that there are Reward Challenges this season. Probst welcomes them and then tells them to drop their buffs, because they're switching tribes. Colton looks as shocked and confused as I've ever seen him and I greatly enjoy it. He looks worried. His plan just got screwed up big time, whatever that stupid plan was. Probst hands out eggs and explains that each one has a color in it. They will all smash them simultaneously to find out who will be on which tribe. They really love this visual; it's the same thing they made Coach and Ozzy do last season. I guess it's more dramatic than turning over colored stones and also makes it harder to sneak a peek. They smash their eggs, some having more difficulty than other.
Once everything shakes out, the Salani tribe is now Kim, Chelsea, Kat and Sabrina joined by Mike, Jay and Troy. Holy shit, all of the useful people are on one tribe. They didn't get one garbage person. That means the Manolo tribe is now Colton, Jonas, Leif and Tarzan, joined by Alicia, Monica and Christina. At Probst's questioning, Kim says that the tribal shakeup couldn't have gone better for her. Colton notes that they have all the muscle. This is really sad.
The new tribes are ready to compete in the Reward Challenge. Teams of four have to carry a large barrel to a water tower and fill it. Then they have to carry the full barrel back while trying their best to plug the holes in it and use the water to fill a trough. When the trough is full, a flag will be raised. The winning team gets fixings for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and coffee. I'm not even starving and that looks fantastic. As the teams celebrate the possibility of a decent lunch, Probst adds that the winning tribe gets to continue living at the One World beach and the losers have to hit the bricks and build a new camp. Why are we even calling it One World when that lasted all of four episodes? Dumb.
By Kim
Probst tells them to start. Right away, Salani does things right. Their team is Mike, Jay, Troy, and Kim. When running out, they have Mike and Jay carry the empty barrel while Troy and Kim just run. It's awkward to try to run with four people holding the barrel, but that's what Manono's team of Monica, Tarzan, Leif, and Jonas try to do. Manono decides to leave while their barrel is only partially full, probably to make it easier to carry. I don't know what is happening, other than that they're really awkward, but Monica takes two hard falls on their return trip. Both teams are about even at this point, but I think Salani got more water in their barrel since Salani took less time at the tower and then spilled a lot when Monica fell. Twice.
Both teams are again even on their second trip. Michael calmly asks Kat if she's pulled the water release handle down as far as she can, so that the maximum amount of water is being released. Smart move, and he asked her calmly and she was able to pull it down more. This team is going to be tough to beat. Once both barrels are dumped, Probst says that Salani has a bit of a lead in terms of filling the trough.
On the third trip, Salani gets back first but they don't have enough water to raise their flag. Manono gets back second, but they have more water, and their flag is raised. So they win. They dance around and chant "peanut butter and jelly" which made me laugh.
As both tribes stand before Probst, he asks Colton for a "hard truth" about the new tribes. Colton says it's like "Greek gods versus peasants." Monica is offended by that. It's true -- the women on Manono are beautiful. It's the men that are dragging them down just on a looks basis. Colton corrects himself that they're "village people." Probst gives Manono a map to their new home while Salani gets to take the tray of food.
As Salani walks back to camp, Sabrina interviews that she was just hoping to be on the same tribe as Kim, but when she saw that Chelsea and Kat were on her tribe too, she was ecstatic since they were all part of her alliance.
Monica leads Manono to their new home. Colton interviews that when he saw that he had orange and Troy and Sabrina and Kim all had blue, his first thought was, "Beep." Yeah, that was apparent from the look on your face. When Manono arrives at their new camp, there are a TON of supplies -- ropes, pots, pans, and suchlike. Some of them try to convince themselves that the new camp is actually going to be better and I think it might be better than the women's former camp. Colton pretends to agree for like five seconds and then pouts off once no one is paying attention to him. He interviews that he doesn't like anyone on his new tribe AND they will all suck at challenges compared to their opponents, especially physically. Haven't the women proven that strength isn't the only factor that wins challenges? Alicia interviews that her new tribe is awful and she thinks just the women of Salani could beat them. Cut to a shot of Tarzan tripping over a piece of wood and nearly falling down. All that's missing is the boing-oing-oing sound effect.
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Colton and Alicia jokingly call each other "prince and princess." Colton interviews that he knows that he can be evil (DOES HE?) but he also knows how to charm people and tell them what they want to hear to get them on his side. While I'd like to refute that claim, he has been pretty effective at persuading people so far. Colton pulls Alicia and Christina aside and the women assure him that they will work with him making them an alliance of four against three men. Colton interviews that he's telling Christina what she wants to hear in order to get more information, which is his strategy with everyone. Colton makes the same promise with Monica and they hug. Monica interviews that she thinks they have the numbers now, but she's also worried that Colton is the puppet master and setting them up for a betrayal. She also knows that, as the strongest of the three women, she would be the first to go. Monica doesn't really have a choice though, does she? It seems like the women have very little information about the status of the various men. They might be able to pull Leif instead of Colton, if they knew anything. But they don't.
Chelsea and Michael are out in the woods hunting crabs, quite successfully. So the Salani tribe has the reward food plus crab now. And then they work together to catch a chicken. This is an embarrassment of riches. Troy is the one who nabs the chicken and then Michael and Chelsea show off their crab haul. And yet I can't root against them.
Jay and Troy are lying around the fire alone. Once Jay is sure no one is listening, he tells Troy that they need to go into the merge four or five strong and he doesn't think Michael should be part of their alliance. Jay interviews that he doesn't think it's men versus women anymore and he recognizes that the men are the minority in his new tribe, so he has to do something. He and Troy pulls Kim aside and suggest that they form a sub-alliance with Jay and Chelsea and she agrees. They want to keep it quiet even after the merge and just work to keep their alliance members from getting voted out until they are left in the majority. That's really smart. Kim interviews that she's got it made, because if the women have the majority post-merge, she'll go with them and, if not, she'll stick with Jay and Troy. She says that she thought this game would be harder, and coming from anyone else, that would seem awful, but somehow she makes you root for her. At least I do.
Alicia and Colton are doing some nonsense task together and Colton brings up the fact that he trusts Monica but not Christina, so he's thinking they should get rid of Christina first. Why in the FUCK would Alicia agree to that? Right now, she has a majority. Why would she vote out one of her own alliance? She's going to laugh in his face, right? Alicia appears to consider it and then says no. Whew! Sanity prevails. Colton tries again, saying that they might be better off with Tarzan and Jonas, but Alicia says they're unstable and their tribe was crazy before. Alicia interviews that Colton's crazy and her goal is to keep the women on the tribe so that they have the majority after the merge. But then she adds that she wants to at least keep her name out of the mix so that if they do send a woman home, it will be Christina or Monica. Whuh? Where did that come from? It's like Colton has brainwashed her. She should tell him that if he can help them keep a majority going into the merge, she will make sure her alliance knows about it and won't vote him out right away. And also, he has an Immunity Idol, that THEY GAVE HIM, so he can use that when the women have to cannibalize themselves to buy some time. Sigh. Oh, Alicia.
Jonas asks Colton what's up with Alicia. Colton says he's sticking with the guys. Jonas interviews that while the rest of them are busting their asses building the shelter, Colton is doing no work and kibitzing with the women. Jonas doesn't understand how Colton gets away with it. Because you let him? Because you do imbecilic things like agree to give up immunity as a tribe just because he says so and you're afraid to go against him? Because you won't make a move to vote him out? Colton assures Jonas that he's only pretending to be on the women's side, but they're going to vote out Christina. Jonas interviews that he doesn't know what to believe anymore, and that Colton might be running both tribes now.
Now that Kim is feeling a little more secure in her tribe, she decides to go look for the Immunity Idol for her tribe. Hey, I wonder if there is another one at the new camp location? And then Kim finds it! These aren't really hidden so much as placed. Kim walks back to camp and says my favorite line of the season so far to Chelsea: "I just found the Hidden Immunity Idol and it's in my crotch." Awesome. They make sure no one is looking and Kim pulls it out and shows Chelsea. Kim interviews that she trusts Chelsea more than anyone else so she wanted to let her in on it, but she does make Chelsea promise not to breathe a word. Kim tells Chelsea that they need to be careful not to be seen as a pair and keep trying to make as many alliances as possible, but they agree that they're in great shape.
Over at Manono, the tribe has set up a chicken trap by propping up a crate and probably putting food in there? Someone notices that there is a chicken in the crate so Monica runs over and pulls out the prop, trapping the chicken inside. Alicia, Christina and Monica all start celebrating and then the chicken just runs out of the crate, which was apparently open on one side. That really demonstrates everything you need to know about this hapless tribe. They are out of hap. Colton interviews that these people suck at Survivor and Monica and Christina are both on the outs. However, probably due to all the time he spent at their camp (or from talking to Alicia), Colton knows that Monica has some juice and Christina has none, thus Christina will be easy to get rid of post-merge. So he thinks Monica has to go. No! Not Monica! I like Monica.
Colton and Alicia are out in the water and Colton lays out his plan. Basically, he says that they have to vote out Monica and then Christina. Instead of telling him he's fucking nuts, Alicia agrees. She does make Colton promise that he'll have her back, though. I have to say, I'm not even sure why Colton is doing this. He's got a majority with the men. They don't need the women. Why did he even pretend like he was going to vote with them? It seems like all that does is piss off potential jury members. Then again, I don't understand Colton's endgame at all, if he even has one. Colton interviews that his strategy all along has been to "get rid of the head of the snake" and he thinks "it's pretty brilliant." Of course he does.
Immunity Challenge. Both tribes arrive and assemble to hear the rules. Three members of each tribe will race to get to a ball and make a basket, with each tribe having its own basket. The opposing tribe can try to stop them using any means possible. So it's three-on-three no-holds-barred water basketball, but with the hoops to one another instead of at opposing ends of the court. Got it.
The first two teams are Mike, Troy and Jay versus Tarzan, Jonas and Colton. Oh, this should be rich. When they start out, Jay just shoves Colton aside and then shoves Jonas down. He reaches the ball first, passes it to Michael who is unguarded by Tarzan and Michael makes the basket. Done and done. Also, I greatly enjoyed seeing Colton shoved hard into the water.
The second two teams are Michael, Kat and Sabrina versus Christina, Monica and Leif. The men start out guarding the goals. Michael sees that he's got a clear shot to the ball so he goes for it. When he returns to the basket, he misses his first few shots and Leif catches up with him and manages to make life hard for Mike. By then, the women catch up and it's a rugby scrum around the ball. Leif and Kat both take shots and miss, and finally Mike gets the ball back and makes a basket so Salani leads 2 -- 0. They need three to win.
The third match is all women: Alicia, Monica and Christina versus Chelsea, Sabrina and Kat. Kat gets to the ball first, but Christina takes her down. Kat passes to Sabrina, who mixes it up with Monica. Monica gets a shot and makes it, so Manono is not out of it yet, even thought they're down 2 -- 1. Monica encourages her tribe not to give up.
The fourth match is all men: Colton, Jonas and Tarzan versus Michael, Jay and Troy. Colton is guarding the goal with Michael and I'm not sure what the strategy is there. Why didn't they put Leif in again, unless he's exhausted/injured? It looks like Manono's strategy was for Tarzan and Jonas to try to keep the others away from the ball while Colton makes a sprint for it. It kind of works, in that Colton gets the ball but then Michael's right on top of him. Colton is quite tenacious, surprisingly, and is able to get away long enough to take a shot. The problem is that he's still way too far from the basket and misses big. Then Salani gets the ball and they take turns shooting and rebounding until Michael finally makes the last basket to give Salani the win. Well, at least Manano had a strategy and it might have worked if Colton had managed a better shot.
Manono returns from the challenge. Tarzan immediately takes a nap, because he's a man after my own heart. Everyone else tries to put a good face on things, by saying that there was almost no way they were going to win such a physical challenge against that competition and at least it wasn't a shut-out. Alicia interviews that she and Colton will be putting on an Oscar performance because they're blindsiding Monica. Do you think Alicia and Colton think they are coming off as really smart to the viewers at home? Do they care? I think Colton believe he'll be a "love to hate him" type. And honestly, how many of those are there? The early years of Boston Rob, maybe? Richard Hatch? Most of the other assholes on this show, I just hate them and want them gone, from Johnny Fairplay to Russell on down.
Monica whispers to Leif that if they are planning to vote off a woman tonight, they should think about staying strong. In other words, vote off useless Christina or Alicia, not me. Colton tells Jonas that they're voting Monica off and that Alicia is "following [him] like a fiddle." That's not a saying at all. Fiddles don't follow anyone. Dummy. Jonas interviews that his strategy is to follow Colton as long as it means voting someone else out and getting him one step closer to the end. That's all well and good, but juries hate people that ride coattails. Jonas has to make a move at some point if he really wants to win.
Alicia and Christina talk about how they should vote out Tarzan because he's weak in challenges. Alicia smartly tells Christina that they shouldn't talk about it anymore, since they agree. Then Alicia's "acting" skills won't be tested. Alicia goes and tells Jonas that they're voting out Tarzan and Jonas agrees. Colton, standing nearby, says that he and Jonas were just saying that. Monica walks over and Christina tells her not to tell Tarzan. Colton nails it home by saying that they have to start winning challenges. Monica interviews that the guys have lost sight of the numbers game and she can't believe they're giving up the majority. MONICA! Wake up! Can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth? It sounds too good to be true, because it IS too good to be true.
Leif wanders over and he and Jonas go through the whole, "So we're voting out Tarzan?" thing for Christina's benefit. Jonas interviews that ever since Leif ratted them out to Bill, he doesn't really trust Leif anymore. Are we supposed to think they are keeping Leif in the dark about the vote? Because that would be dumb. What if Alicia changes her mind? Shouldn't they at least make sure the four men are voting the same way? Colton takes Tarzan and Leif out in the woods and tells them they're voting out Monica. Tarzan has to be reminded who she is. Colton explains that Alicia is voting with them and they need to keep their mouths shut about it. Colton interviews that he gave them the deal, but you have to tell Tarzan a bunch of times and keep repeating it. Colton's not exaggerating; he's already had to tell Tarzan, like, three times and Tarzan has legit forgotten. Colton interviews that he's worried Tarzan might write down "Jenny" and whines that it's "hard being the leader of a bunch of idiots." Cry me a river, pal.
Tribal Council. There is zero suspense what is going to happen. It's like the editors didn't even try. Probst asks Jonas what he thinks about the new tribe. Jonas says that the deck isn't exactly stacked in their favor. Monica, on the other hand, admits that it was tough to leave the close women's tribe, but she likes their new beach better, because they have lots of food and she thinks they played like a team in the challenge. Probst asks Colton if he likes Monica's positive attitude. Colton says he does, because if she thinks she can "turn this sinking ship around," that's great. Probst asks Alicia if she thinks Monica is what the tribe needs. Alicia speaks carefully and says that Monica is a great mom and athletic, but she could also be seen as a threat. RED FLAG, MONICA! Your alliance mate shouldn't be pointing out that you're a threat, no matter how obvious it is. Monica says that she may be putting the team ahead of her own survival in the game. Leif adds that Monica is one of the hardest working women he's ever seen, which pleases Monica to hear.
Probst wants to know what Tarzan thinks. Why? No one needs to know what Tarzan thinks. Tarzan spouts some nonsense about how he "dropped his assertiveness to a different lodestar." Those are all words that exist in English but they don't really make sense in that order. Probst tries to figure out what Tarzan is on about and figures out that a lodestar is a leader. But Tarzan won't reveal who it is, "I shan't say, because the game is afoot." Jonas and Leif say that it's funny and interesting having Tarzan around camp and Leif uses the non-word "explanate," which Tarzan explains is a "neologism." What is even going on here? Did they get a thesaurus in one of the reward challenges? They must have not done anything interesting around camp this week because this is all a waste of time. Probst asks Tarzan if he's annoying his tribe and Tarzan says he hasn't revealed much about his background because "the game is afoot." Then tribe members start just yelling out random facts they know about Tarzan which kind of shows that he hasn't been as reticent as he claims. Monica says that Tarzan has "aphasia" and Tarzan says he actually has "nominal aphasia," meaning he can't remember people's names. That's not what it is at all. Maybe he has face blindness. There was a segment on 60 Minutes about it last night. Probst makes him name all of his tribe members, and he does so successfully, though he struggles with Monica and Jonas.
After that carnival sideshow has ended (not making light of Tarzan's issue, but they treated it like a party game), it's time to vote. Colton doesn't play his Idol. As expected, Monica and Christina vote for Tarzan and everyone else votes for Monica. They only read four votes for Monica, so as far as she knows, only the men voted her out. Christina is gobsmacked and trying to figure out what happened. After Monica leaves, Probst says that they admit that the other tribe is stronger, but then voted out their strongest member because she was a threat. Probst snarks, "Interesting strategy." Eh, they don't care if they lose because then Colton can get rid of the other women before the merge. No big deal. Especially now that the women don't have the numbers to make a countermove. Sigh. Let's hope the merge happens soon and the new Kim/Chelsea/Jay/Troy alliance takes out the awful Colton.
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