Coach Kool-Aid

S23E10

Coach is still firmly in control of the merged tribe, but some cracks are appearing as both Whitney and Cochran are talking about how to improve their positions in the tribe.

First up, the Duel. Keith, Ozzy, and Jim have to stretch their arms out and hold a pole on the back of each hand. Those poles hold up a board. If they move their hands at all, the poles will fall and so will the board. The last person with his board still up in the air wins and stays on Redemption Island while the other two go to the jury. While they compete, Brandon admits that he's rooting for Jim (the only one he knows at all) and Whitney says she's rooting for Keith (which is what I read about in the tabloids this week). No one is rooting for Ozzy. Doesn't matter because Ozzy wins and Jim and Keith go to the jury. Back at Redemption Island, Ozzy has gone native and, as usual, is emphasizing how awesome he is and how terrible everyone else is. He doesn't mention, however, that he's already been voted off twice.

Dawn and Cochran discuss the possibility of cooking up a plan to shake things up. What that will be remains to be seen. At the Immunity Challenge, the contestants must transport rice in bowls on their heads across two seesaws and fill a bowl. First to fill the bowl enough to lift a weight wins immunity. It comes down to Dawn, Brandon, and Sophie, and Sophie wins.

Albert decides to make his big move. He wants to gather together Cochran, Dawn, and Whitney to vote out Edna. Albert knows that Edna won't vote for him on the jury no matter what, and also hopes that this move will secure jury votes from the former Savaii. The problem is, he needs Sophie to make it happen, and she's not sure she wants to make a move against their alliance at the moment. In the end, Sophie doesn't flip and Dawn is voted out and heads to Redemption Island.

BUT WAIT! There's a twist. They are going right into another Immunity Challenge and vote. The Challenge is to answer survival-related questions. One wrong answer gets you knocked out for good. It comes down to Whitney and Sophie (though I think Coach threw it, or else he's really dumb). Sophie wins, and Whitney knows she's signed her death warrant with that loss and she is, in fact, voted out immediately. So now it's just the former Upolu plus Cochran left, with the threat of someone returning from Redemption Island at an unknown point. Let the games begin.

Redemption Island. Night 24. Ozzy sleeps on the ground while Keith sleeps in the shelter because they are two chill bros but they don't snuggle at night because they like chicks, not dudes. How dare you? The recently ousted Jim walks in and says hello, then jokes that he thought they were supposed to be the final three. Didn't we see this last week? Jim fills them in on the challenge where Upolu all sat out and stuffed their faces and then says that Coach has the whole tribe under his thumb. They all agree that Coach will probably take Cochran and Edna to the finals and win, unless someone shakes things up. Ozzy says, "I hate to say I told you so, gentlemen, so I won't say it." I don't get it. What did he tell them? He didn't predict any of this. He didn't predict Cochran flipping. If he had, he wouldn't be on Redemption Island with his comrades.

Te Tuna. Night 24. Having just returned from Tribal Council, Coach gathers everyone for a little pep talk. He tells Whitney and Dawn that Jim is "the worst kind of person" because he seems really nice and friendly but he would not have your back when you need it. He also assures Whitney and Dawn (I guess, everyone is assembled there but I assume he's talking specifically to them) that they have nothing to worry about. Really? So they're NOT going to be voted off at the first opportunity? Somehow I doubt that. Are they buying this crap? Coach interviews that it's important to keep the people on the bottom of an alliance feeling secure, or they will scramble and make moves to overthrow those higher up, and blindsides happen all the time, so he's going to keep preaching unity and respect.

Coach continues to babble on about how he doesn't dictate anything and how they all offer suggestions and discuss votes. Whitney interviews that none of these supposedly smart people seem to understand that all seven of them can't go to the finals, and she doesn't understand why they're letting Coach run the show. She has a point. Presumably, they all believe that Coach will take them to the end. I don't know if he's explicitly made promises to anyone, but they have to know that people always want to take weaker opponents to the finals. That said, it's easy for me to make these pronouncements, given that I have full information and interviews; it would be tough to know when exactly to make a move.

Te Tuna. The morning of Day 25. Coach and Cochran do tai chi together on the beach, with Coach providing instruction. Cochran interviews that he hates to admit it, but he's drinking the Coach Kool-Aid, because he knows that if he's not on Coach's side, he's signing his own death warrant. Coach is getting worried because he feels like Albert and Brandon are getting squirrely. Coach promises that he'll do what he can to keep Cochran around, but Coach is worried that he himself might get blindsided. So suddenly that makes Cochran worried about his place in the game. THAT makes him worry. I wonder what Cochran thinks his place in the game is exactly? Has Coach promised to take him to the finals? Has Coach talked about how exactly he plans to make that happen? I just think it's weirdly naïve of Cochran to only now be worried about his place in the game. I mean, as far as students of the game go, Rob C. is probably the most famous, and if anything, he did TOO much plotting. But at least he was plotting. Supposedly Cochran is a huge student of the game, but he doesn't seem to have any plan beyond, "What happens today?" I get taking it one day at a time but at some point you need to have a plan for the end game.

Redemption Island Duel. All of Te Tuna is there to watch. Keith, Ozzy, and Jim enter and hear the rules of the duel. They have to stretch out their arms and balance a pole on the back of each hand. A board is stretched across the top of the poles so that if they let the poles drop or move too much, the board will fall and they will be out. The three men take their positions. Ozzy is in the middle and slightly behind the others; some on the forums feel this gave him an unfair advantage because he could see when the others were struggling. I don't know that the advantage is all that great, honestly. Probst pretty much tells you how the others are doing anyway, and I think your concentration would have to be such that you wouldn't be able to watch your opponents much anyway.

After ten minutes, Jim sways a little and Rick tells him to stay focused. Brandon admits to Probst that he's rooting for Jim (the only one he really got to know), and Whitney says she's rooting for Keith. If you read the tabloids, you know that she left her husband for Keith, so that's no surprise. No one admits that they are rooting for Ozzy, because everyone either hates him or is scared of the possibility of him coming back into the game. Jim goes out pretty quickly after that. Keith and Ozzy both struggle a little bit as Probst reminds them that they have to win the duel if they want a chance to get back into the game. Ozzy's poles are moving all around but he manages to keep it together. Keith loses it and Ozzy stays on Redemption Island. He hugs Jim and Keith, who will become the first two members of the jury. Ozzy tells Probst that he's loving being on Redemption Island, because he doesn't have to worry about the mental game, and can just eat fish and fruit. He promises to cook for anyone else who comes along before he sends him or her home. Ugh, he is awful. Then he gives a big speech about how he can't wait to get back in the game and see who has taken "the higher road." Humility, Ozzy. Get some. Before he leaves, Jim jokes that he's hoping for a secret double Redemption Island, but Probst tells him there's not, and he's off to the Ponderosa. Keith has no personality so he is just told that his adventure is over and he's off. And then he does the sign of the cross after dropping his buff in the fire, which is just weird.

Because we all know that the former Savaii members are going home tonight unless a miracle happens, why not spend some time with Ozzy? And as much as I can't stand Ozzy, watching him swim and fish and climb coconut trees is much more visually interesting than watching Coach do tai chi or whatever. It would be great to be able to mute this; if I weren't recapping it, I would. Anyway, as we see the pretty pictures, we have to listen to Ozzy babble about how awesome he is and how he's totally going to win the end game, because he's so refreshed and rejuvenated. But imagine him saying that with ninety percent more arrogance and pomposity.

Meanwhile, back at Te Tuna, they don't have any fish in their net. Dawn and Cochran talk about how they're hungry and it sucks. Dawn says that she's kind of mad at herself that she didn't screw up Cochran's big move when she could have, because then Savaii might still be on top. So she's basically saying, "I wish I had betrayed your trust when I had the chance"? And then she tells Cochran that he owes her one, since she kept his secret for him. Cochran says that he's willing to change things up if they come up with a viable plan. In other words, "You do all the thinking and legwork, and I will latch on at the last minute if I think it might work, but I also might leave you high and dry, because I am incapable of doing any strategic thinking on my own." Cochran interviews that he thinks Dawn and Whitney will be grateful to him if he returns to their side, since they're kind of screwed, and while he has gotten a few promises to help him go further in the game from Upolu, he doesn't know if they're totally sincere. So he's weighing his options now. Unfortunately, a team of three can't top a team of six, so I don't know what they're planning exactly.

Immunity Challenge. Each contestant has to balance a bowl of rice on his or her head, cross two teeter-totters, and then dump the rice in a container. First one to fill the container (which will take multiple trips) wins, but touching the bowl or dumping it means starting that trip over. This seems a little biased towards women, because most of the guys dump almost immediately while most of the women make it at least over the first teeter totter. Whitney and Dawn are out front, and then I don't know what in the hell happens, but Whitney just disappears. I mean, I guess she dumped her bowl but they didn't show it at all. Stupid editors. You'd think they'd stay focused on Dawn and Whitney, since they have the most to lose. I don't know that I needed the ten-second crotch shot from below of Dawn going over the teeter-totter instead. Later, I see that Whitney dumped her bowl on the second teeter-totter because you can see the rice on the ground. Dawn, Sophie, and Brandon are the first to make it through one trip. Cochran is awful at this, and I think part of the problem is that his hair is too fluffy. It's still Brandon, Dawn, and Sophie in front. Sophie decides to go for it and fills her bowl with a ton of rice. Brandon and Dawn actually dump their third bowls into their container ahead of her, but it's not enough rice. Sophie makes it with her giant bowl of rice, and it's enough. She wins immunity. Probst promises them a twist at tonight's Tribal Council, but he won't tell them until they get there. Dawn knows that she's in trouble, but hopes the twist will help her out.

By Kim

Te Tuna. Day 27. They return from Tribal Council and talk about how great Sophie did at the challenge. Cochran interviews that he was disappointed with his performance at the challenge. Has Cochran done well in ANY challenge? Seriously? Even the team ones, it seems like he was either screwing up or holding them back.

Coach and Cochran sit down to discuss the vote. Coach says that they have to get rid of Dawn because if she somehow makes it to the end, she'll win. Everyone likes her. Cochran interviews that Dawn and Whitney know that they're the two to go, but he's worried that the twist will be a double immunity, which means Cochran could be in danger if either Dawn or Whitney wins the second immunity.

Dawn and Whitney talk about which one of them will go home first. Dawn is pretty sure it's her, and she interviews that she's worried, but she also knows that it isn't over until it's over in this game. And even then, you get to go to Redemption Island. Dawn and Whitney talk about if they have any moves to make, and decide that they should talk to Albert. Whitney interviews that they know they need to be careful about which people they approach from Upolu. Whitney adds that Brandon is a loose cannon, Rick isn't even playing the game, and Edna is up Coach's butt. I like this "back against the wall" Whitney. She seemed really boring until this episode and now she's showing some spunk. Maybe if she had done that earlier, instead of clinging to Ozzy like a barnacle, she wouldn't be in this predicament.

Albert lays out his reasons for voting out Edna to Whitney, who totally doesn't care, since all she wants to hear is that it's anyone but her. Albert's plan is to have Dawn, Whitney, Cochran, himself, and one other person vote out Edna. As Albert confabs with Whitney, Brandon asks Coach what's up with Albert doing so much consorting with the enemy. Coach has no response, but he definitely looks worried. Coach is no Boston Rob. He needs a buddy system like BRob instituted.

Cochran and Albert play checkers on a homemade checker board. Not sure if that was won in a reward challenge or if they made it themselves, though I'm not sure where they got the paint if it's the latter. Albert tells Cochran that the current plan is to vote Cochran out seventh, i.e. as soon as they get rid of the remaining Savaii, Cochran will be to go. Albert goes on to tell Cochran that they do have a move available to them, but it's a big risk and a gamble.

So they go for a walk in the woods with Sophie. Albert tells Sophie that neither of them will get Edna's jury vote, so they might as well get rid of her now, and in the process, gain some Savaii jury votes. Sophie interviews that Albert's true colors are coming out, and she has the same colors: wanting to win. Wow, that color metaphor kind of fell apart in the middle. Anyway, Sophie says that they should probably take advantage of the fact that there are two free votes just hanging around in camp. Albert continues his hard sell and says that if they don't do something now, Cochran (who's standing right there) will be the to go. Sophie tells Albert that she can't stand Edna, and Albert yells, "She's useless! It's like out-organize, out-clean, out-gather." That was hilarious. Anyway, Sophie interviews that now she has to decide whether to stick with Coach or go with Albert, and her decision will be based on what will get her further in the game. As it should be.

Meanwhile, Coach tells Edna that Albert is going off the reservation and he thinks Albert is trolling for jury votes. Cochran tells Albert that Coach is getting suspicious. This is setting up a big Clash of the Titans, Albert vs. Coach, which will be awesome when it happens. But will it happen tonight? Or will it be put off until all of the former Savaii are gone? Coach interviews that he thinks Albert is either cooking up a plan or trying to curry jury votes, and Coach doesn't like either option. Oh, so Albert isn't even allowed to try to get jury votes? Coach gathers his core five and says, "If anyone goes against the five, it's instant death. INSTANT DEATH." Coach interviews that there are three motivational tactics: coddling, reaffirming, and fear. So he's going with fear on this one. He didn't mention his favorite tactic: melodrama. He's using that one too.

They're heading to Tribal Council awfully early in the episode so either something awesome happens there, like a big argument, or it's a double elimination. Probst brings in the jury, Jim and Keith. How do they both already look awful? You know how, on the finale, everyone looks way worse than they did after thirty-nine days of no showers and starvation? Jim and Keith already have that puffy, shiny look. And while Jim is clean-shaven, Keith has given himself a stupid moustache and Van Dyke goatee. And he's wearing a skirt. Blech.

Probst starts out by asking Dawn what she did after losing immunity to try to stay in the game. Dawn says that she tried to offer up her vote, and she doesn't understand why the people in positions five, six, and seven are so content to stay there and leave the game before the finals. Probst does the math and realizes that if the bottom three from Upolu joined up with Dawn and Whitney, they would have five votes and control the game. At Probst's questioning, Whitney says that she knows Cochran is in position seven. Cochran says that he knows that's the impression people would have, but he's confident that he can maneuver his way out of it. On the jury, Jim is shaking his head like, "WTF is he talking about? He's an idiot." Jim, we agree on so little, but you are right on. Probst tells Cochran that he can't believe Cochran hasn't made plans beyond being voted out seventh, and that tonight, either Dawn or Whitney is leaving, or someone's getting blindsided. In other words, wake the FUCK up people! Do something! Probst is basically begging them to do something interesting. Probst, we agree on so little, but you are right on.

Cochran basically says that he has plans for what he's going to do when the Upolu tribe cracks up, which is inevitable. In other words, "I'm not sticking my neck out until Savaii is completely gone." Cochran then agrees with Probst that this is kind of an ideal time to make a big move, and Dawn adds that she's desperate and will pledge loyalty to whoever needs her. Probst asks Coach if he's worried, and Coach says that he's always worried. He then adds that he's not a big talker and he's not in charge of the alliance, despite what people say, but he worries about someone making a big move against him all day long. If he's not the tribe leader, why would anyone make a move against him? I think he just contradicted himself. Probst calls Whitney out for rolling her eyes when Coach said he wasn't the tribe leader. Whitney laughs that everyone always reports back to Coach after talking, so she assumed he was the leader. Albert double-talks that Coach may or may not be the leader but he's probably not but maybe he's pulling the strings. Coach has to have the last word (but he doesn't talk much) and says that he likes information, and he saves it to use later. Time to vote, but first Probst gives them one last plea to make a big move and shake things up. PLEASE!

By Kim

Probst tallies the votes. No one plays a Hidden Immunity Idol. Interesting how that Idol hasn't come up lately. I'm assuming Coach still has it, even though "the tribe" found it together. So who holds onto it? And wouldn't that person be the tribe's leader? Just saying. And then Dawn is quickly voted out. Looks like only Dawn and Whitney voted for Edna, so there goes Albert's big plan. Dawn heads to Redemption Island.

But wait! There are still like twelve minutes left in the episode! Probst announces the twist: another immediate immunity challenge with a vote to follow. So Whitney has to win, or she's gone.

The challenge is a trivia contest. Each person has a cube with letters on it, so it's multiple choice. The first question is about how much water people on the show should consume daily (a gallon); Albert, Edna, and Rick get it wrong so they're out and we're down to five people. Isn't Edna a doctor? You'd think she'd be better at guessing the answer than that. Maybe she threw it because part of her plan is to appear non-threatening so that people will take her to the finals? It would actually be kind of awesome if she emerged as a challenge monster in the last three weeks.

Second question is about how the coconut crab got its name (which is because it eats coconut). Cochran and Brandon are out. So now it's down to Whitney, Coach, and Sophie. The third question is about what you call the soft edible part of the coconut stalk (heart of palm). Coach gets it wrong so we're down to Whitney and Sophie. The final question is about a dangerous clam (which is my stripper name) and Sophie gets it right and wins immunity.

Obviously, Whitney is going home so I don't know why they even draw it out at all. She voted for Cochran for some unknown reason; maybe as a final screw you? Everyone else voted for Whitney and she is headed to Redemption Island with Dawn and Ozzy. Once she's gone, Probst tells the remaining tribe members that they accomplished the goal of getting rid of Savaii, but now they have to turn on their own. Or, you know, vote Cochran out . That's obviously what will happen unless he wins immunity. I don't know how Coach thinks he might win if he promises everyone that he'll take them along and then ditches them one-by-one. He can't take EVERYONE to the finals, and the people he backstabs will be on the jury. I don't know if he's completely thought this through. We shall see.