Ozzy is pissed that his alliance blind-sided him and declares himself a "free agent" and then tells everyone on his tribe that he has the Immunity Idol. The rest of his tribe thinks he's being a giant baby, because he is. And speaking of Idols, Brandon finds the third clue to the Immunity Idol and spends all morning looking for it with Coach and Albert, not knowing that Coach already has it.
Christine and Elyse compete in the Redemption Island Duel (witnessed by Sophie and Rick, and Ozzy and Keith). They basically play shuffleboard, where they have to slide pucks down a board and try to knock one another's pucks off to score points. It's close, but an obviously exhausted Christine pulls it off. She also does the old "pretend to scratch my nose but really flip you off" move when Rick tries to talk to her, so her former tribe knows that she's still bitter.
Before the Immunity Challenge, Ozzy realizes that he threw a temper tantrum like a child and apologizes to Keith and then the rest of the tribe. At the Immunity Challenge, half of each tribe has to assemble a wheelbarrow and maneuver it through an obstacle course to dump some coconuts in a bin. Then the other half of the tribe takes the wheelbarrow apart and creates a slingshot with the pieces, then uses the slingshot and coconuts to knock down targets. Upolu has a huge lead in the first half, but they totally blow it when only Albert is able to knock down any targets. Halfway through, Coach tries to get Mikayla to sit out her turn at the slingshot and she refuses. I don't get why it matters, since Coach didn't knock down any targets either, and from what we saw, Mikayla did get a few close ones, as did Coach. But they lose to Savaii, and Coach constructs a narrative that Mikayla lost the Challenge for them because she wouldn't take Coach's instructions to let the men handle it. Fuck off, Coach.
Savaii's reward is a trip to these beautiful waterfalls with natural water slides and a picnic, and it looks super fun. Upolu decides that it's either Edna or Mikayla going home. Coach pushes to oust Mikayla because she didn't take directions during the Challenge, and also because Edna is his special pet who does what he says. Albert wants to ditch Edna because she's terrible at challenges and he thinks she's smart and sharp and could be a strategic danger. So Albert, Mikayla, and Sophie will be voting out Edna, and Coach, Brandon, and Edna will be voting out Mikayla, with Rick as the swing vote.
At Tribal Council, Brandon gives a big speech about loyalty, and how he doesn't think anyone on the tribe has loyalty because they don't all agree? Or something? I don't know what the hell he was going on about, but then he says that they should vote him out if they're going to play a disloyal game, and adds that there is no such thing as gray, and it's all black or white. Coach tries to explain the real world to him, but it's actually a veiled speech about how Coach had to lie about having the Immunity Idol and it's not out of disloyalty. After all that, Rick votes for Mikayla and she goes to Redemption Island.
Savaii. Night 14, right after Tribal Council. Ozzy is disillusioned after Elyse's blindside, since he thought he was tight with Keith and Whitney, and then they went and voted without telling him. He should be grateful that they didn't blindside HIM, right? Because that would make it two times he was voted out with an unused Immunity Idol in his pocket. Instead, because he's Ozzy and he thinks that the world revolves around him, he announces, "I'm done playing the alliance way, and I'm now what's called a free agent. I'm playing for myself, and you guys can play for yourselves." Isn't that what the whole game is basically? I mean, a tribe doesn't win the title. An individual wins the title. They should all be playing for themselves, though sometimes it helps to form temporary alliances. Ozzy's acting all butt-hurt (and I hate that term, but it perfectly describes how he's acting) and pretending it's because he feels betrayed, but it's really because he's realizing that he doesn't pull all of the strings.
Whitney tells Ozzy that it wasn't personal, but Ozzy claims that it was personal. No, if it were personal, they would have voted Ozzy out because they didn't like him personally, or they thought he was a threat as a person. Dawn calls bullshit (Dawn!) and says that Ozzy is withholding information too, and Ozzy busts out with, "I've got the Idol. How about that?" What? He's an idiot. The best part is that no one really reacts that strongly, and then Ozzy "reminds" them that Redemption Island exists. Keith is like, "Well, if you want to go there, let us know." Awesome. I am loving Savaii right now.
The morning, Ozzy is out fishing. He pauses long enough to tell the camera that his tribe needs to trust him, because he's a provider (of tiny fish) and he leads by example. And his example is throwing temper tantrums. So if any of the members of Savaii need to be shown how to throw temper tantrums, they are in luck.
Meanwhile, while Ozzy is off fishing and sunning himself, the rest of Savaii is talking about what an asshole he is. No, they seriously are. Jim interviews that Ozzy is being a child and has made some bad game play moves in the last twelve hours, between declaring himself a free agent, revealing he has the Idol, and acting like a baby. Cochran interviews that he's fine with Ozzy acting the fool, because it's better for Cochran himself. And then Cochran tells everyone that Ozzy is "acting like a stupid bitch." Ha ha! See, he's acting all emotional like ladies do! I'm surprised Cochran didn't ask if Ozzy has his period. Like ladies do! And they get bitchy! Fuck off, Cochran.
Upolu. Coach is feeling great. They have tons of food, thanks to their Challenge win, and Coach has the Idol. He interviews that Sophie and Albert know about the Idol, but he doesn't want to tell Brandon, because he's a "loose cannon." That's reality-speak for "crazy person." Coach admits that he struggles with keeping it a secret from Brandon, because he knows Brandon will feel betrayed when he does eventually find out. But that's a long ways away, right Coach? Let's all just eat some fried potatoes (which actually look quite good) and be happy!
While everyone eats, Brandon is worried about finding the clue to the hidden Immunity Idol, so he starts looking. And he finds it in like five seconds! I bet he finds the Idol ... oh, wait. He immediately goes and tells Coach and Albert, who have to pretend like they're surprised. They all chalk it up to Brandon being a Hantz and not the producers being idiots. I mean, seriously. How many times does someone have to find an Idol with no clues before they start hiding them better? Why not just leave the Idol in the camp, to the fire, and whoever wakes up first in the morning gets it? Anyway, Coach and Albert have to pretend to join Brandon in looking for the Idol. Man, is Brandon going to feel dumb when he watches this episode at home. They are really making him look like (more of) a maroon. Coach interviews that he promised Brandon that they would play the game like "good Christian men" (what does religion have to do with this show, I ask you?) but Coach isn't sure if withholding information is the same as lying. I'll solve that for you, Coach. It is. It's a lie of omission. I so prefer the people who play this game and just lie to your face and don't pretend to be anything that they're not to the ones that are all, "I'm a good person! I didn't lie! I just didn't tell you! But I was protecting you!" Ugh. Thanks, DAD.
Anyway, Brandon's climbing trees and Coach is laughing about how much Brandon looks like Russell, especially when he walks down the beach in a determined fashion. Coach imitates him, and it does look like Russell. Once Brandon is up a tree or in a cave or something, Albert advises Coach not to tell Brandon about the Idol right now, because he's really emotional and might fly off the handle. Here's a great piece of editing: Albert interviews that Brandon's not that smart, but eventually he might realize that someone already has the Idol. Cut to Brandon asking Coach and Albert if they think someone already has it. Coach responds, "I don't think so." Cut to Coach interviewing that he wants to play this game "completely honorably" but says that, because Brandon reminds him of Russell, he can't. Or something? Coach's rationalization makes no sense whatsoever. This isn't going to end well. Unless they tell Brandon that they have the Idol and then give it to him. That's the only possible way that Brandon won't go nutso. Also, Coach, Mr. "Grey Area", just told an outright lie when asked a direct question, right?
Redemption Island Challenge. Christine vs. Elyse. Sophie and Rick (the guy with the moustache and the cowboy hat) are there to witness for Upolu and Ozzy and Keith are there for Savaii. Why does Ozzy always get to go? When Probst asks, Elyse admits that she wishes her former tribemates were rooting for her in this challenge, but she also knows that some of them voted her out, so why would they want her to win and possibly come back? Christine gets emotional when talking about how she's now had more days on Redemption Island than in the game, and how difficult it's been for her.
Probst is like, "Okay, then. Let's do another Challenge!" No follow-up, Probst? Why is it difficult? Is she bitter? Anyway, the challenge is like shuffleboard. Each contestant starts with four pucks on the board. They take turns sliding pucks down the board to knock each other out. The last person to have a puck on the board wins. Not exactly the most thrilling challenge, but they can't all be winners, I guess. Rather than go shot-by-shot (because it was boring to watch, but at least they had interesting background music, and it would be REALLY boring to read), I'll just give you an overview. It starts out bland, with no moves being made, but then they get the hang of it and start knocking pucks off. Except then Elyse knocks one of her own off, leaving herself with just one on the board. Christine chokes and ends up letting Elyse tie it back up. So they each have one puck on the board, and... Christine wins her fourth duel and Elyse goes home. One noteworthy event: Rick tried to cheer Christine on, and Christine did the old "pretend to scratch your nose but really flip the person off" move, so there's no love lost between Christine and her former tribe. Elyse's final words are about how strong she is, but she's going home so... Anyway, Christine goes back to Redemption Island and the witnesses go back to their tribes. Rick is worried about Christine's attitude, and interviews that if she gets to come back, she will immediately flip and try to take out her former tribe.
After witnessing the Duel, Sophie and Rick discuss how terrible it would be for them if Christine comes back, and how she would never be a real member of their tribe again. I feel like that's a setup for future events (no spoiler) because it doesn't seem to fit in with this week's episode. I don't know that for sure, but this scene did kind of stick out since it wasn't tied into either the "Ozzy is a baby" or "Coach is lying to Brandon" storylines they've got going this week.
Edna found out (thanks to Brandon) that she's not part of the main alliance in her tribe, so she's decided to continue cozying up to Coach and hope that he saves her. They go look for coconuts together and Coach interviews that he really likes Edna and feels comfortable with her, and he plans to keep her and get rid of Mikayla, since they're both outside of "The Six." Six people seems like a huge alliance. Coach tells Edna about that, and Edna vows to "follow [Coach] into battle... even if it gets ugly." Man, she is really feeding into Coach's Daddy fantasies. Gross.
Hey, what's Ozzy up to? Still whining and crying? Surprisingly, no. He's realized that he threw a temper tantrum, and decides to talk to Keith and hope that they can still work together. He doesn't actually apologize, but he says he's "willing to look past it" (meaning the blindside), and Keith agrees that they should continue to work together. So then Ozzy goes back to the rest of the tribe and actually does apologize, saying that he's sorry he flew off the handle, but then claims that he told them about the Idol to try to unify the tribe. Well, that's not really true, but it's pretty to think so. Jim is no dummy, and realizes that Ozzy is only doing this because he's figured out that he has nowhere else to go since they're probably not merging any time soon. So Jim is happy with his position in the competition, since he's got Ozzy to help him win challenges, but also has a slightly-humbled Ozzy.
It's Day 16, and time for the Immunity Challenge. Once both tribes arrive and assemble, Probst explains the details. They will have to assemble a wheelbarrow, fill it with coconuts, and maneuver it through an obstacle course, dumping the coconuts in a trough, and then go back for a second load of coconuts. Then the second half of the tribe has to take the wheelbarrow apart, and use the pieces to create a slingshot, which they will use to shoot coconuts at targets. First tribe to knock down all of the targets wins immunity and reward. Edna is useless and will sit out for Upolu.
In the first half, Upolu has Brandon, Sophie, and Rick working the wheelbarrow, while Ozzy, Dawn, and Cochran do the same for Savaii. They get their wheelbarrows assembled at about the same time. Brandon and Rick fly through the course together with the wheelbarrow, but Ozzy and Dawn struggle. I think the problem is that Ozzy is trying to do the whole thing himself instead of trying to work in concert with Dawn. So Upolu gets all their coconuts dumped and their slingshot assembled, while Savaii is still trying to get their second load of coconuts. When Savaii tries to dump their second load of coconuts, Ozzy tries to do the whole thing himself, which doesn't work, and Cochran "tries" to "help" but seriously isn't doing anything at all. Useless.
Finally both tribes are slinging coconuts: Albert, Coach, and Mikayla for Upolu and Jim, Keith, and Whitney for Savaii. The first few shots for both tribes are duds, because you have to figure out how far back to pull the slingshot and what trajectory to aim it at, but they get it pretty quickly. Albert gets the first target down for Upolu. Mikayla is doing a weird one-handed technique and she's not taking down any targets, but she's coming as close as anyone else. Coach immediately decides that Mikayla isn't contributing, so he tries to get her to "rest for a while" but she's like, "I'm not tired." After her attempt, Coach asks if she wants to just sit out, and she says no. Look, all he had to say was, "Albert is the only one hitting targets. Why don't we BOTH let him do this?" Because Coach hasn't hit any targets and he's not coming any closer than Mikayla is. If I were Mikayla, I wouldn't want to sit out either. That's just giving your tribe a reason to vote you out, and she knows she's on the chopping block.
So anyway, Albert keeps hitting targets, but meanwhile Savaii is catching up, knocking down targets like crazy. It should also be noted that the targets are varying distances from the slingshot, so not being able to launch them super far doesn't necessarily mean that you're not going to be able to contribute. Jim knocks down the last target and Savaii wins immunity. I don't know that Whitney got any targets. I wonder if she voluntarily sat out? It was difficult to tell with the editing.
Savaii heads off to enjoy their picnic and immunity while Upolu sulks. Coach interviews that Mikayla wouldn't listen to his coaching in the heat of battle. Maybe because he's crazy? And probably a little sexist? Anyway, Coach wants Mikayla to leave. Let's see how that goes.
So post-win, Savaii is all happy and friendly and working together. They do a little cheer and talk about how they have learned to stick together because they were behind but came back and won. So they're having a big picnic near a waterfall and the food looks really good, to be honest. Big sandwiches and real glasses to drink from. After eating, they all start leaping from the cliffs into the water. Well, except Cochran, who admits that he's "not a water person." Then they all start sliding down rocks into the water which actually looks kind of painful on your bum area. But it also looks crazy fun, and Cochran gives it a try. They are just whooping it up on Savaii.
So how are things over on Upolu. Their postmortem involves Rick and Brandon saying that they win as a team and they lose as a team, and they don't want to point fingers. Coach pretends that he agrees, but then interviews that they all know they're going to vote off either Mikayla or Edna, and Mikayla is the one who "doesn't follow orders." Gross.
Albert and Mikayla try to start a fire and talk strategy. Albert tells Mikayla that he's going to battle for her, since Coach and Brandon want her gone. Mikayla interviews that her tribemates claim to be all about the strength of the tribe, and thus it makes no sense that they would want to get rid of her and keep someone who's "half [her] size and almost double [her] age." Mikayla is 22 and Edna is 35. Wow, I totally thought Edna was in her 20s. Still, that's a big of an exaggeration. Then again, Edna is useless.
Albert pulls Rick and Sophie aside and tells them that he knows they've talked about Edna being the sixth member of their alliance, but she's useless in challenges, so useless that they had her sit out the challenge today. It's true: even if you buy Coach's line that Mikayla failed in the challenge, at least she competed. And she's done great at some challenges. Albert interviews that he's concerned that Edna is sharp and smart and he tells the others that, come the merge, Edna's going to know she's the sixth person in the alliance and might be desperate enough to make a move against them and join the opposition. Albert is smart. Rick agrees with that assessment and Sophie does too, but points out that they need to now convince Brandon and Coach.
Sophie and Albert try Brandon first. Albert talks about how the alliance of five people kind of happened organically but then Edna was brought in artificially (I don't know what he's talking about other than maybe saying that Coach thrust Edna into the alliance whereas the first was more of a group decision). Brandon totally agrees, plus he thinks Edna is sneaky and scheming. He stops just short of saying, "Look, I mean, she is Asian." Except he would probably say Oriental. Or something even more offensive. So suddenly Brandon, who hated Mikayla the temptress, is perhaps willing to vote Edna out. But then, Brandon spouts spouting some of his religious stuff, and said that he has to stick to his word, and his word was that he wouldn't vote any of the original alliance out if there were non-alliance members available to dispatch. Sophie interviews that Brandon actually likes Mikayla more now and doesn't consider her "the whore of the tribe" (Sophie flaps her hands around here to indicate that she doesn't think Mikayla's a whore), but still won't keep her around over Edna, and he's nuts. You're just figuring that out, Sophie?
Albert and Sophie discuss how you can't talk strategy with Brandon because he always starts crying after five minutes. Heh. So they approach Coach and suggest ditching Edna. Coach has been WAITING for this moment and he delivers a monologue about how HE lost the challenge today. Finally! Someone pointed out that Coach didn't hit any targets either! Oh, wait. That's not what he meant. He meant that HE lost the challenge because of a failure in coaching, because Mikayla wouldn't take his advice. I really, really, really, really wish either Albert or Sophie would point out that Coach did the same as Mikayla. But they don't. Anyway, Coach goes on to deliver an incredibly sexist and creepy speech about how Edna will do whatever he tells her to, including following Ozzy around, even when he takes a shit, she would do it. Albert points out that Edna could be playing them all, and just faking her loyalty. Coach doesn't believe it, and says he would rather take useless Edna into challenges than willful Mikayla. I have a hard time believing that Coach would make the same speech about two men, and now I'm starting to understand why Coach always coached women's soccer teams. He's a paternalistic, sexist bastard. Anyway, Albert interviews that Coach isn't dumb to keep Edna around, since she seems to be in his pocket, but it's not good for the whole tribe or for Albert specifically.
Coach sees which way the wind is blowing and pulls Rick aside for a "man-to-man" talk. She, he talks to the men and reasons with them, but he orders the women around. Except Sophie, but she's older and larger than a size 2, so he probably considers her a man. Anyway, Coach's reasoning is that they should stick with the alliance they have, and not switch things up now, especially since Edna will "do as she's told." That is so gross to say about another grown-up, isn't it? She'll do as she's told. Or what? You'll spank her? Put her in time-out? Albert tells Rick that he's the deciding vote, since it's three against three at this point. Rick does NOT want that responsibility, since he's been largely invisible up until now. Well, as invisible as a dude with a giant cowboy hat and moustache can be.
Tribal Council. Probst immediately asks Coach what went wrong in the Challenge. Coach says they weren't working as a team, which wasn't the problem at all, although at least he does admit that he and Mikayla were both missing shots, and then says that he told Mikayla to take a break and she refused. Mikayla rolls her eyes and retorts that Coach never told her to just let Albert take over. Which is true. From Mikayla's standpoint (and let's be honest - she doesn't seem super bright), she could have thought Coach was telling her to rest because he thought she was tired out. Probst asks Edna if she's useless and Edna says she kind of is, in challenges at least. I'm paraphrasing there.
Talk then moves to the merge. They're all pretty certain it happens after the Challenge, though I'm not sure why. Brandon says that they have to be up in numbers at the merge, so the Challenge is "detrimental to the way the game turns out." Oh, Brandon. Stick to two-syllable words, dude. Although, maybe God spoke to him and told him they were going to lose the challenge. Probst nails the problem the tribe is having when he asks if they should keep the person who might help them win challenges, or the person who will be unquestionably loyal after the merge. Brandon says that numbers don't matter if a few people turn on the group after the merge. That's the only smart thing Brandon's said all season. But couldn't they buy Mikayla's loyalty by letting her stay this week. Like go to her and say, "We were going to vote you out, because we think Edna is more loyal. So if we keep you, do you promise to stick with the group after the merge?" It's a gamble, but it's worth a shot. Albert thinks they may need the people who will get them to the merge or it won't matter, and Sophie agrees. She correctly points out that a small loyal group will still get picked off by the other tribe. Brandon is rolling his eye the whole time Albert and Sophie speak.
Probst points out that they sound like a divided tribe. Coach says that his motto is Honor, Loyalty, Integrity. Albert says that you can fake loyalty, but you can't fake strength. Good point, Albert. Brandon raises his hand and says that they all made a pact to have six people, and everyone should stick to their word, because that's not loyalty. Brandon asks them to vote him out if they're "going to play disloyal." Probst's eyes pop wide open. Brandon thinks character is more important than the money. Does he understand that this is a game show? I don't think he does. He is in for a rude awakening because he's going to have to break up the pact at some point. I mean, you don't get to take six people to the finals. Mikayla thinks Brandon has always had a problem with her, but Brandon says that he likes Mikayla now, and would actually like to keep her around, except he gave his word to keep Edna and he's going to stick to his word.
Probst brings up that Brandon asked to leave if they won't be loyal, and asks Coach to tell Brandon the downside of telling someone you're going to vote them out before the vote happens. Here's what Coach should say: "Because that person can start scrambling and potentially change the vote, so it's better to blindside people and take away that opportunity." Instead, Coach gives a self-serving speech about how sometimes you have to withhold information for a time (like having the Idol) but that's not lying. Brandon retorts that you're either lying, or you're not, and there are no grey areas. Good luck living with that philosophy, Brandon. In this game and in the real world. Coach has got to be like, "This Idol situation is going to bite me in the ass I know it."
Time to vote. Mikayla votes out Edna and says she's not sure how Edna got this far. Albert votes out Edna and says that if Edna stays, they're in big trouble and he hopes Rick does the right thing. Edna votes out Mikayla and says that she hopes her time here has helped her future modeling career. Was that a dig? I think that might have been a dig. But it may have been sincere. That Edna is a tough nut to crack. The other votes are cast as well.
Probst reads the votes and, as expected, it's a three to three tie until the last vote is read. And Rick voted for... Mikayla. So he sided with Coach and Brandon and now Albert and Sophie (my favorites) are screwed. Or not -- this game still surprises me from time to time. Especially once Brandon finds out about Coach's Idol.
In the tag, Mikayla heads to Redemption Island. She blames Brandon for her ouster, when it should really be Coach. I can only hope that Mikayla comes back, teams up with Edna and Sophie, and gets rid of Coach. That would be awesome.
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