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This episode is pretty much a repeat of last week: someone finds an idol without a clue (Ralph, who I will now love forever simply because now Li'l Russell doesn't have his precious idol), Onomatopoeia loses the reward/immunity challenge, and Phillip is freaking crazy. In between all of this, Li'l Russell manages to get his grubby little hands on the immunity clue hidden in his tribe's reward basket, but Ralph sees him take it and calls him out on it. Li'l Russell denies having a clue and thinks he's so much smarter than everyone else, even though most of the tribe know exactly what he's up to and Ralph already has the idol, anyway. Over at Camp Crazy, Phillip swears his undying Federal Agent? allegiance to Rob, who doesn't really care. His alliance is ready, willing, and able to split their votes between Kristina and Phillip, but then Rob decides that Matt and Andrea are getting too close and when Matt runs over to shake the Zapato tribe's hands after their victory, his fate is sealed. Rob convinces the rest of his alliance to vote for Matt, tells Matt and Andrea to split their votes between Kristina and Phillip, and then tests Phillip's loyalty by telling him to vote for Kristina and seeing if he follows through. He does, but it doesn't matter since she plays her idol. Matt goes to Redemption Island having no idea what just hit him but taking it on the chin -- just like Jesus would.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Sorry I missed the first episode of the season, but Kim did a great job covering and now I'm back! And really, all you missed from me last week was probably a ten-page-long rant on why Li'l Russell shouldn't be on this season and how he has basically ruined this show. All I'll say about it now is that I have been covering this show for six seasons and Li'l Russell has been on three of them. That just isn't fair.
So, previously on Survivor: 16 new contestants found out that any chance they had to get camera time was ruined by the arrival of Rob and Li'l Russell, who have played this game seven times now combined. Also, we have to deal with Redemption Island this season just in case Li'l Russell is voted out early so he'll be able to get back in this game and never leave my television screen for more than five minutes. Li'l Russell's tribe, Zapato, almost all hate and refuse to trust him, but that's fine with him since Rob's tribe, Onomatopoeia, is the one losing immunity challenges. Sadly, likeable contestants like Kristina and Francesca were on the wrong side of the We Love Rob majority alliance and thus forced to team up with Phillip, who is insane, thus resulting in the seemingly awesome Francesca being the first contestant to be voted out.
Francesca makes her way to Redemption Island. She doesn't have much to do or say about her situation, simply commenting that the Tribal Council was even crazier than she was expecting and she's happy to have a second chance and be away from her tribe and Phillip.
Onomatopoeia return to camp. Rob says that was one of the wildest Tribal Councils he's ever seen, and, as we all know, he's seen plenty of them. That's because Rob played this game back when they didn't cast people who are either certifiably insane or way too into performance art. I still haven't figured out which category Phillip falls into, by the way. Kristina says Tribal Council obviously didn't go as she planned and she really shouldn't have told Phillip about the idol, but at least she still has the idol and hopefully a chance to come back from this somehow.
Phillip gives Rob a big awkward hug and asks to speak with him. Rob clearly doesn't want to deal with this at all, but has to or else risk Phillip loudly proclaiming that he is a Federal Agent and then going off on a long, boring, loud, crazy rant that keeps the tribe awake all night until Phillip inevitably slits their throats. Phillip tells Rob he was almost "duped" tonight and that Rob now "owns" his vote "until" he is voted out. Way to play to win, there, Phillip. He rambles on about how he wants to play with integrity and honesty and all this stuff Rob has heard before from players almost as insanely delusional as Phillip is (Coach) while Rob, under the cover of darkness, totally rolls his eyes. Rob interviews that Phillip is a "piece of work" and probably a nice guy, but also insane. "Government jobs: stressful!" Rob concludes. I guess he doesn't have to worry about that since he doesn't actually have a job.
Rob gathers his alliance of six and says they'll work together to vote out the outsiders and then they can strategize against each other. So I'm sure that's exactly how it'll go down. He says Phillip will be the to go and then interviews that he was pleased to see that his alliance "followed directions" and split their votes correctly at Tribal, unlike some people he's played with in the past.
After the credits, we're still at Camp Onomatopoeia. I have to say, I do enjoy Phillip. Mostly. I mean, there's a part of me that thinks Phillip might be batshit crazy and therefore it's wrong of this show and the viewers at home to use that for our entertainment, but the rest of me loves everything that comes out of his mouth and the fact that the more camera time Crazy Phillip hogs, the less Rob and especially Li'l Russell get. Anyway, Phillip has decided to use his Federal Agent training to provide food for his tribe. He has fashioned a spear out of a stick and is hot on the trail of the tiniest crab. Also, he isn't wearing pants. Or a shirt. Just a pair of pink briefs. Of course. Phillip, whose "Former Federal Agent?" title never ceases to crack me up, says he reverted to his primal state or something.
Meanwhile, the rest of his tribe has reverted to their childhood bully state, and are watching Phillip and laughing at him. Although I guess I can't judge them too harshly because I'm doing the same exact thing, and what else could you do when you're stuck in a tribe with that guy? Besides demand to be taken off the show before he primally murders you in your sleep. While Matt shows off his Steve Irwin impression and narrates Phillip's crab hunt to the giggles of everyone else, including outcast Kristina, Phillip interviews that Francesca maligned his character at Tribal Council last night and that deeply hurt him. He starts to "cry" (I'm not seeing any tears, so I don't know) and says he loves his country and "having worn the uniform that I swore that I was prepared to do to protect and defend" because I guess Federal Agents wear uniforms now? Phillip says Francesca tried to take some of his hard (though vaguely) earned pride away last night, and that made him very emotional. With that, he manages to kill a tiny crab with a well-placed spear throw. Actually, I don't think he did kill it, since he holds it up for the camera while making sort-of Marine noises (like "hoo-rah," except not because Phillip's military service cannot be known. Because it never happened) and it looks very much alive. Phillip concludes in his interview that he loves himself, he's a good person, and that's okay. I totally agree.
Oh, no. That hairy redneck man is doing rooster impressions over at Camp Zapato. While most of his tribemates find his antics entertaining because they have no idea what they're missing not being on Phillip's tribe, Li'l Russell isolates himself from the group as usual and interviews about how much better and smarter he is than everyone else, especially Ralph. He says he just needs to lure one more young pretty girl into his alliance and he'll be fine. "Three worked for me before, I believe it just might work for me again," he says. How did three work for him before? Didn't he not win last time? And the time before that? And didn't his allies only take him to the end because they knew they could beat him? Does he still not realize this?
Hey, look! It turns out that Rob and Li'l Russell aren't the only things we've seen on this show before: there's that Yellow Snake that was all over the place last season! I wonder if the brown bird that opened its mouth really wide will make a triumphant return as well? Li'l Russell talks to ... uh ... Krista, I guess? Does it really matter? Young blonde women have been getting the invisible edit for several seasons now, so I'm sure she will too and there's really no need for me to learn her name. Anyway, Li'l Russell tells Krista that he's going to look for the immunity idol now because he suspects they'll get a clue to its location if and when they win the reward challenge. He interviews that he will only trust his "two girls" Krista and Stephanie, which is good because everyone else on the tribe hates him. Li'l Russell says he's going to find idols without so much as a clue because that's how he plays this game and the producers refuse to hide the idols in a place where contestants can't just randomly come across them, so why not? While Li'l Russell assumes that no one knows what he's up to, his tribemates watch him skulk around camp in his underwear and know exactly what he's doing but don't really seem too concerned about it.
And then Ralph wanders around camp collecting rocks for some reason, only to stick his hand in bunch of "dadgum ants," get bitten, and then, somehow, realize there's an idol hidden in a nearby hollow tree. I guess he saw the neon sign the producers put there for Li'l Russell. Anyway, this makes my day like you cannot imagine. Ralph has the idol and Li'l Russell doesn't!! Maybe now the producers will stop making these things so easy to find that a guy who does rooster impressions can literally stumble upon them. Ralph interviews that he just found an idol by accident, so he guesses Li'l Russell isn't that special to be able to find them all the time after all.
You know who is special, though? Phillip. But amazingly, even though we're back at Camp Onomatopoeia, we aren't watching him but Matt and Andrea, who are bonding over the fact that they are young, blonde, and pretty. Also, Matt can't stop talking about Jesus and how awesome it is that he put him on this show and in a really strong alliance. Andrea agrees. I think it's really cool that Jesus took some time out of his busy schedule to work this game for his followers, but even Jesus can't manufacture this show as well as the producers, who will never, ever let a bunch of boring Jesus freaks take time away from their precious Li'l Russell and Rob. Sure enough, Rob notices Matt and Andrea's developing bond and says he thinks Andrea is trying to lure Matt in to be her "little puppydog" and that isn't good for Rob, because he knows how dangerous a tight pair can be. I like how they don't put an occupation to Rob's name, by the way. Because if they did, it would have to be "professional reality show contestant" at this point, no? Rob talks to some other girl in his alliance about Matt and Andrea, and she agrees that they could be trouble for the rest of them. Rob says that he likes this other girl, named Natalie, and intends to take her with him to the end because he seems to think he can beat her. He says he thinks the person they should vote out is either Phillip or Andrea. "Sounds good," Natalie says, since she probably doesn't have an opinion of her own anyway and figures that it's in her best interests to stick with Rob and let him make the big moves.
Both tribes arrive for the reward/immunity challenge, as this season, there will only be one challenge and then the Redemption Island thing. Which is yet another reason why I hate Redemption Island. Zapato sees that Francesca was voted out of Onomatopoeia and are stunned, as everyone knows you never vote the black contestant out first because then you look racist. They also might be shocked because Francesca is awesome and therefore should still be in this game. Probst takes the immunity idol from Ralph, who promises they'll get it back soon, much to Probst and Rob's annoyance. Probst doesn't appreciate Ralph trying to angle himself as the kooky player this season, so he immediately turns to Phillip to show Ralph his competition in that category, asking him if it fires him up when his opponent says cocky things like that. "It brings out the ANIMAL in me!" Phillip says; "I will outlast ANY MAN over there!" Probst can't resist asking Phillip if he can outlast any woman. "That's another day; we'll see," Phillip says very seriously. I love you, Phillip. I'm pretty sure you're faking this whole thing, but that's okay. You are A+ entertainment for me.
Probst explains the challenge: five contestants from each tribe have to swim across a pool, climb a ladder, and break a tile suspended over the pool to release a key inside. Once all five keys have been retrieved, another tribemate will use them to open a box with a ball inside. The remaining two tribemates will then have to throw that ball at five more tiles and break them. The first tribe to break all of the tiles wins immunity and a fishing gear reward. For some reason, Zapato decide to sit David out and the challenge begins.
Grant and Steve go first for their tribes, which is interesting since they're both former NFL players. Steve was much more successful in the NFL, but he's also a lot older than Grant. Steve also looks a lot like Dr. Cox from Scrubs, while Grant doesn't look like anyone from Scrubs because his hair is ridiculous. Grant gets to the ladder first, but doesn't manage break the tile. It doesn't matter, though, as he just grabs the key on his way down. Onomatopoeia get a slight lead as two random women we haven't really seen before so who cares what their names are go for their tribes. The rest of the players from both tribes manage to get their keys on their first attempt and Onomatopoeia gets all their keys first.
But Natalie struggles to unlock her chest while Stephanie gets her locks opened quickly and gives Zapato the lead. Ralph and some other girl start trying to break tiles (actually, it's just Ralph throwing the ball. The other girl does nothing) while Onomatopoeia isn't far behind, with Phillip throwing the ball while Kristina is on retrieval duty. Phillip breaks the first tile, putting his tribe in the lead again, but Ralph is right behind him and soon breaks several more, giving Zapato a 4-1 lead over Onomatopoeia. Rob despairs, but while Ralph struggles to hit his last tile, Phillip manages to break three more and catch up. It comes down to the fifth and final tile, but Ralph manages to break his first and Zapato wins again, which is tragic because it means Li'l Russell won't be voted out tonight. Or ever. I mean, I might as well resign myself to it now: Li'l Russell isn't going to be voted out. He's going to be on this show every season and never be voted out. And then he'll win Fan Favorite because the people who watch this show are apparently stupid. Anyway, while Zapato celebrate their close victory, we get a shot of the course that makes it appear as though their victory was not as close as we were lead to believe - at least two of Onomatopoeia's tiles are still intact. While Rob's tribe sulk over their second loss and Zapato celebrate, Matt walks over and shakes their hands, much to Rob's disgust. He calls Matt's show of good sportsmanship "despicable." Probst hands the immunity idol back to Ralph while Li'l Russell makes sure to grab the reward basket. Onomatopoeia's slow motion walk of shame is silent.
Despite their joy over winning again, all is not well at Zapato. Li'l Russell reveals that he made sure to carry the basket back to camp because he knew the immunity idol clue would be in there somewhere and he wanted it. Sure enough, he sees it right where the producers told him it would be, grabs it, and pockets it without, he thinks, any of his stupid clueless tribemates seeing him. As it turns out, Ralph, the stupidest and most clueless of the bunch, totally sees him and knows exactly what's going on. "This is not Russell's game. This is my game," he interviews, and you know what? He's kind of right as far as I can tell, since he beat Li'l Russell to the immunity idol and totally saw him with the clue that he didn't even need anyway. He immediately tells the others what happened, and they decide to never let Li'l Russell handle their rewards again. Which is great, except that as far as everyone but Ralph knows, Li'l Russell has the only clue to the idol, so by the time they get their hands on another reward and a clue, he'll have long since found the idol.
Li'l Russell grabs his women and goes off to speak with them privately, except not really since Ralph and Dave are watching and listening to them from behind some trees. But they don't overhear anything more than Li'l Russell, Krista, and Stephanie shit-talking Sarita's slow swimming. Sarita doesn't hear them because she's off telling Mike about how Li'l Russell has the clue. Mike interviews that Li'l Russell's game experience gave him an advantage, since he knew to expect the clue in the reward basket and they didn't. Mike is being much kinder to the show than I would have been. My entire interview would have been ranting and raving over how unfair this was and how pissed off I was to be stuck on a tribe with someone who has played this game many times before. And then I wouldn't get any camera time. But since I was in a tribe with Li'l Russell, I would have already known I wouldn't get camera time no matter what I did or said. All that said, if Mike really wanted to get some valuable experience before coming on this show, maybe he should have, like, watched a few episodes of it.
Li'l Russell shows his allies the clue while Mike goes off in search of them. The clue doesn't give them much of an idea where to find the idol, but Li'l Russell tries to put a positive spin on that, saying he "knew" the clues would be like this and since they have the first one, whoever finds the second one won't be able to solve the puzzle. Why is he assuming it's a puzzle? It'll probably just be an easier clue. Li'l Russell interviews that he only has three votes, but that's okay because that's the way he's always played and he always made it to the end. "All I need is trust. Loyalty -- that's how I play this game," says the guy who drank everyone's water and burned his tribemate and ally's socks. Mike walks up, and Li'l Russell immediately starts talking to him about how poorly Sarita performed in the challenge. Mike agrees.
And here comes Ralph, who might be good at stumbling upon hidden immunity idols but not so much at diplomacy, as he immediately asks Li'l Russell if there was a hidden immunity idol clue in the reward basket. "Maybe there was," Li'l Russell says, since, no matter how many times he tries to tell us he's so smart and such a quick thinker, he really does suck at talking his way out of things when confronted. Ralph says he saw Li'l Russell take the clue out of the basket and since they all won the reward, they all should have access to the clue. Now Li'l Russell says there was no clue in the basket after all. When Mike and Ralph don't go running off screaming in fear or begging for Li'l Russell's forgiveness, he goes to his old stand-by of "you're either with me, or you're against me." As Dave walks up, Ralph still refuses to back down, saying if they hadn't won the challenge, they'd be voting someone out tonight and Li'l Russell would be in a lot of trouble with no immunity idol clue whatsoever. Mike tries to calm things down, asking Li'l Russell to tell them if he has the clue or not. Li'l Russell insists that he doesn't, and Ralph says he'll take his word for it. That's not good enough for Li'l Russell, who says he doesn't like how Ralph just "came at [him]." Ralph doesn't care. Li'l Russell continues that he knows how to play this game. Ralph says he does, too, and walks away to interview that he knows Li'l Russell has the immunity idol clue and that it won't help him since Ralph has the idol. "Right on," he says. Meanwhile, Li'l Russell can't believe the audacity of Ralph to challenge him like that and claim that he can play this game as well as Li'l Russell, who clearly hasn't even entertained the thought that Ralph might be coming at him so brazenly because he has an idol to fall back on. I can't believe I have to pin my hopes on this season not sucking on a guy with a back hair sweater, but there it is.
Let's check in with Francesca on Redemption Island, shall we? She gets her luxury item in her treemail, since what else can they really put in treemail? It's a journal, so she writes in it. She interviews that she has no idea what to expect or when the player will be arriving at camp or how long they'll be there together before they have to do battle. She hopes it's not long, and that the person to arrive isn't Phillip.
Meanwhile, her former tribe arrive back at camp, their shoulders low in defeat. Also because they know what's coming: a speech from Phillip. "I'll be very brief," he begins, which is a lie. Rob interviews that it was bad enough that they lost, but now they have to "endure" Phillip. Phillip says his tribe "performed gallantryly" and should be proudryly of themselves. Tragicalryly, he says, he fell short and the tribe lost the challenge for them, so he'll understand if the tribe decides to vote him out because of his poor performance. He asks if anyone else would like to step up and say anything. No one does, because that's ridiculous. Rob decides to tell Phillip that he did a good job and the team lost because of the entire team, not just because of one person. He's only saying this so he can run back and interview that they lost the challenge because of Phillip, but he doesn't want to vote him out for it because his new target is Matt. Not because he shook the other team's hands, really, but because Rob saw the gesture as Matt attempting to build bridges with the other tribe that he could use later on after the merge, along with his partnership with Andrea. I'm not sure if Matt is savvy enough to be doing that for strategy purposes, but Rob is savvy enough to know that if he is, he's dangerous and needs to go as soon as possible. Phillip may be insane, but he's good in challenges and swears up and down that he'll be loyal to Rob, so it's in Rob's best interests to keep him around, just like he did Coach two seasons ago.
Meanwhile, Kristina decides to wear her immunity necklace so her tribemates will know that she has every intention of using it tonight. She sees Phillip nearby and asks him if he's worried about tonight's vote. I'm not sure if she's rubbing it in or trying to be nice. "That looks pretty on you," Phillip says of her necklace. I'm not sure if he's trying to be nice or planning to use Kristina's necklace as a garroting wire. He then says he is not worried because he is "a strong man" and thinks he'll do okay on Redemption Island. Ah, Phillip knows this show well. I have a feeling the Redemption Island challenges will favor strong men, since we're only doing this thing because Probst is sick of his favorite hunky guys being voted off early and is using this as a way to keep one of them (or Li'l Russell, if by some miracle he's voted out) around. Kristina interviews that she's intending to use her idol tonight because she really can't expect the rest of the tribe to let her slip by without using it again. She's bummed to lose it, though, since she knows it's pretty much the only thing keeping her in the game right now.
BUT WAIT. Rob has a meeting with some of his allies about Matt and Andrea. Because Rob is, like, the master of the social aspect of this game, he is able to not only convince Grant and some blonde girl to vote for Matt, but also that it's all of their idea and decision. Grant interviews that Matt shaking the other team's hands right after losing was not what he wanted to see, even though Grant has been playing team sports his entire life and thus has probably shaken his opponents' hands right after a loss countless times himself. Rob says their alliance of four will all vote for Matt without telling Matt or Andrea about it. Matt and Andrea will split their votes between Kristina and Phillip, and no one cares who Kristina and Phillip vote for. Rob claims in an interview that he "didn't want to play Survivor like this," but he knows this game well enough to know what Matt is trying to do and nip it in the bud. Which is another reason why it's so unfair that a four-time player gets to play this game with a bunch of new people.
Rob meets with his entire alliance and informs them that they're going to split their votes tonight along gender lines: the three guys will vote for Phillip and the three girls will vote for Kristina. Andrea confidently interviews what she thinks the plan is and that she's pretty sure Kristina will use her idol and Phillip will be voted out tonight. I think it's really mean of her to send Phillip to Redemption Island with poor Francesca like that. Rob interviews the plan again, adding that Kristina had better play her idol, even though she actually doesn't need to tonight.
Phillip asks Rob who he's voting for tonight. Matt is standing right there (not like Rob would be stupid enough to clue him in on the plan against Matt anyway), and Rob says he doesn't know yet. Phillip just asks him to let him know and walks away. Matt tells Rob that Phillip is screwed: "he doesn't have a single play. He has nowhere to go." Matt has made the biggest Survivor mistake you can make: assuming you know everything that's going on in this game.
Rob gets a chance to speak to Phillip alone while the rest of his alliance watch and think Rob is doing what's best for them, because they are all stupid. Matt interviews that Rob impresses him every day, and it's "unbelievable" how well he can talk to people and play this game. He realizes this, but he doesn't realize that Rob's talents could just as easily be used against him as he thinks they're being used for him. Rob pulls Phillip aside and talks about vague plans and wheels being in motion before claiming that he doesn't know who they're voting for tonight yet, just that it won't be Phillip. Rob says that all Phillip has to do to stay safe is to keep his shit together at Tribal and not "go off on a tirade" like he did last time. Rob interviews that his plan is to wait until the absolute last possible moment before telling Phillip who to vote for, because Phillip is crazy and therefore can't be trusted with any information. Rob tells Phillip that he won't tell him who to vote for until it's time to vote, at which point Rob will put his hand on the shoulder of the person he wants Phillip to vote for. In the meantime, Rob says, Phillip should walk around camp acting like he's expecting to be sent going to Redemption Island tonight. "You're a smart guy," Rob says, so good at buttering people up and telling them what he thinks they want to hear. "You're an actor, bro," Rob says, which probably isn't too far from the truth. Phillip is from Los Angeles and I have hard time believing this show would cast someone truly insane, so my guess is that this whole Former Federal Agent? thing is just an act. Phillip seals their deal with a hug. Rob interviews that if Phillip votes the way Rob tells him to, then he'll know he can trust Phillip and Phillip may have a shot at joining his alliance.
We're supposed to believe that some kind of coral snake is hanging out on the stairs as the contestants make their way to Tribal Council. Probst begins by addressing Kristina and how she did not play the idol at the last Tribal. Kristina says she "had a feeling" that she didn't need to play it and it was a tough and risky decision that ultimately paid off for her. Probst has had enough talking to women and turns to Phillip, who decides to show off his shoulder tattoos. On his left shoulder, he has a picture of a gorilla. On the right, a lion. Shockingly, Phillip has strong feelings about these animals and how he resembles them. Because he's totally ripping off Coach and his love of dragons. Phillip says if you do something to the country he loves, he will show you his crappy gorilla tattoo. Probst nods along with this. Phillip continues that if you try to attack his family, who are either so embarrassed right now or love him more than ever, he will show you his similarly crappy lion tattoo. Probst asks what the lion or gorilla do when they screw up. Phillip doesn't really get what Probst is alluding to and just starts reciting stuff he saw on Animal Planet, that the lion never screws up and the gorilla either beats his opponents down or is the one who is beaten. He then admits that he did lose today and must "suffer the consequences." Probst asks Rob if the loss was all Phillip's fault or if everyone on the team should shoulder some of the blame. Of course, Rob knows that Phillip is TV gold and Probst loves him, so he won't say anything bad about Phillip. He says they win or lose as a team, but he can understand how Phillip feels because he is also a competitor.
Probst then asks Matt if the tribe should vote out the person who takes responsibility for their loss or keep him around because he's "one of [their] biggest guys." Matt claims that Phillip is a huge asset at camp and it sucks to vote someone out because one little mistake, but that's how this game is played. He has no idea what's going on at all. Also, he's boring, so Probst goes back to Phillip and asks him if it's difficult to work so hard to be in this game and face being voted out so early. Phillip pretends to cry or whatever and says he will fight hard on Redemption Island, especially knowing that his "nemesis" is there. "Francesqua?" Probst asks, laughing. Phillip laughs, too, and says he's looking forward to "a little payback." He says that's the upside to being voted out tonight.
Probst has to turn back to boring Matt and ask him if he and his tribemates think about Redemption Island a lot or let it factor in when they're deciding who to vote out. Matt says they mostly wonder how many people come back from Redemption Island and when. Probst isn't about to tell them. Matt says "we don't want anybody out there by themselves ... but that's just Survivor, I suppose," still so sure that he won't be seeing Redemption Island any time soon. While Probst does his little "prepare to vote" speech, Rob nudges Phillip and then squeezes Kristina on the shoulder, which is easy enough since she just happens to be sitting in front of him.
They vote. Matt does as he was ordered, voting for Phillip. Phillip votes for Kristina or "Cristina," which is never the right way to spell that name, saying this is because she is a liar and a manipulator, just like Francesca, whose name he STILL can't seem to pronounce correctly. Kristina votes for Phillip. Rob gleefully hops up to cast his vote. We don't see who he votes for, but he says he hopes whoever it is doesn't hold it against Rob and he'll see him on the "flip side."
Probst returns with the urn. He's midway through his hidden immunity speech when Kristina interrupts him and hands him the idol. Damn. I was kind of hoping she would hold onto it again and squeak by again, but that would be pretty insane on her part. Probst says no votes for Kristina will count tonight before showing two votes for her, from Phillip and, I'm assuming, Andrea. Then we have two votes for Phillip, who seems pretty sure he's leaving tonight. But then! There's a vote for Matt, who is surprised but not worried. Until a second vote for him is revealed and he starts to realize that he's about to get blindsided. "Wow," he says, as a third vote for him is revealed. Andrea looks like she's about to throw up. Phillip grins like he planned this whole thing. We don't see Kristina's reaction, but she's probably wishing she hadn't played her idol. The final vote is a fourth for Matt, who, to his credit, is grinning and in awe the entire time. "Good work, guys," he says; "my goodness." That right there tells me that he really wasn't trying to win Andrea or the members of the other tribe over like Rob thought; he's probably a truly nice guy who just wanted to talk to a pretty girl and be a good sport, not realizing how those actions would be interpreted in the context of this game. Probst snuffs his torch and sends him to Redemption Island, where I'm sure Francesca will be so, so happy to see him and not Phillip. "Damn, guys," Matt says on his way down the stairs. I guess he's not so into Jesus that he can't curse every once in a while. Probst is very pleased to see a "vicious blindside" this early in the game from Rob's tribe and sends them away.
And so, Matt arrives on Redemption Island. He says he's on an emotional rollercoaster and not sure if he wants to go home or go on to have "the greatest comeback in Survivor history," which isn't actually possible since Lill already did that in Season 7. I mean, honestly, you just aren't going to beat a 50-something woman in a Boy Scout uniform getting second place after being voted out. Francesca is shocked to see Matt, who leaves us by saying he has the lord with him. Too bad he didn't have Rob.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.