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While Jane has decided that Marty is evil incarnate and Marty is doing everything in his power to convince the others to vote Jane out, the people who are actually running the show remain Brenda and Sash, though they are temporarily separated when Sash and the men (sans Chase) win a reward challenge trip away from camp. There, they agree to Marty's plot to make Naonka think she's being voted out so she'll play her idol but actually vote for Jane, thereby eliminating Naonka's idol and Jane in one fell swoop. Chase and the women, meanwhile, are targeting Marty. When he falls to Brenda's superior memory skills in the immunity challenge, the person going home comes down to who Sash and Brenda decide to vote for. Marty does his best to speak out against Jane and Naonka at Tribal (although, let's face it: no one does a better job than Naonka when it comes to speaking out against Naonka), but it doesn't convince Sash and Brenda, who vote with Chase and the other women against Marty.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Following Alina's boot, Libertad return to camp and sulk around the campfire. NaOnka criticizes Marty's "outburst" at Tribal and says she feels bad for Jane because she couldn't defend herself against Marty's vicious attacks. All we saw Marty say to Jane was the truth, and Jane couldn't say anything in response because he was right. But nice job letting everyone continue to think you're a defenseless old lady, Jane. NaOnka says that if Marty attacked her like that, she would have hit him back "really really really really hard." With what? I don't think Marty gives a shit what NaOnka has to say to or about him.
Meanwhile, Chase is worried that Marty's words might have turned Brenda against his precious Jane. Brenda shrugs and says that was expected behavior from Marty and not a big deal to her. "Unbelievable," Chase mutters. Did they edit out the part of Tribal where Marty whipped it out and peed on Jane? Because I don't get it. Nothing we saw him say or do to Jane was that bad. It turns out that Jane was wise not to take Marty's bait at Tribal, as when she tries to speak out against him in an interview, the best she can do is call him "Mr. Farty," although she probably spells that "Farti." As she calls him a jackass, we get a shot of Marty picking his nose in night vision, which is so unfair since he probably thought he was safe from public view by picking his nose in the dark. At least he didn't get caught farting on camera, like NaOnka did last week. Jane promises us that she's stronger than Marty physically and mentally, so she won't change her game because of anything he said.
The morning, Marty's trying to figure out who wrote his name down last night. He thinks it was either Chase or Holly. Wait, what? Does he think Chase or Holly would have voted for him and not Jane? Marty whines that it's very frustrating for him to have to play this game with such stupid people. Yes, it must suck not to be surrounded by genius gameplay like attacking the popular and seemingly defenseless older woman at Tribal Council and making everyone feel uncomfortable. He says he hopes what he said about Jane got through to people, but still realizes that he could be the person to go if he doesn't come up with a good plan. So that's what he did. He details this plan to Dan and Ben: they make everyone think they're voting for NaOnka so she'll play her idol, but then they'll actually vote for Jane. That way, Jane goes home and NaOnka loses her idol. Meanwhile, Jane is sitting, like, right behind him apparently listening to every word and trying to glare Marty to death.
Challenge time! The Final 11 arrive at a large obstacle course. Probst explains that they will be "randomly" split into two teams. The first team to get through the obstacle course, collecting three keys along the way, and unlock three locks at the end to release a flag, wins a reward of a trip out of camp on a zipline tour of Nicaragua's rainforest canopy and a whole bunch of food. Brenda, NaOnka, and even the other Kelly are giddy at the thought, but when the teams have been "randomly" selected and by sheer coincidence all the men are on one team and all the women are on the other, I think the wind has got to go out of their sails a bit. Because there are an uneven number of people in the game right now, Chase ends up not on either team. Probst says he gets to choose one team to cheer for and he will win or lose the reward depending on how they do. Apparently, Chase hates rainforest canopies and food, so he picks the women's team. The women are thrilled. The men are pissed. I don't think Chase's decision was that bad, actually. If I wasn't starving to death, I might have gone that way, too, just to do something unexpected and root for the underdog. Maybe that's why Chase picked the women, or maybe he thought the overall terribleness of Dan would keep the guys from winning.
Probst says go, and the teams are off. The first obstacle is a giant stack of hay, and both teams manage to get through it and to the first key at about the same time. But then the key is attached to a spiral wire high in the air, so the women's strength and height disadvantages start to come into play. That said, both teams are still pretty even until they get to the obstacle: a bunch of bamboo sticks. The men have the weight and strength to just barrel through them, but the women kind of bounce off. By the time the men have their second key, the women are only just climbing on each other to get to theirs. The men slow down slightly in a net crawl, which Probst is quick to blame on Dan, but then Jane has trouble and holds the women back, as while she wants to believe that she's stronger than Marty, the fact is that she's starving, 56, and female and simply exhausted at this point.
The men (except Dan, who simply follows behind them and watches his team do the work for him, which is kind of awesome) crash through two "brick" walls for their final obstacle (and this is where I figured out that this challenge had a "Three Little Pigs" theme) as Jane finally makes it out of the net crawl and collapses on the ground. The men get to work on their locks as the women grab their third and final key and charge the brick wall ... only to bounce off of it. They do manage to get through one of the walls before the men raise their flag and cheer way too much for what was a very easy victory for them that they probably should have won by a lot more.
The men gloat and talk about the delicious food they're about to eat while the women either die (Jane) or cry (the random blonde girl). The guys make a point to stop by Chase's bench and rub their win in his face, too. As for Probst, he seems to feel pretty bad about how unfair things turned out and basically apologizes to the women for getting stuck on a team that had almost no chance. The other Kelly is still crying, so Probst asks her what's wrong, like he doesn't know. Jane and Holly put their arms around her and the other Kelly says she'll be okay because she gets to spend the day with her girls and Chase, whose support of the women is being taken as some grand gesture of faith instead of Chase just feeling bad for the women and forgetting that there was food at stake when he gallantly chose to support them.
And just to really turn everyone against each other, Probst asks the men if anyone would like to offer up his spot in the reward to a deserving woman. Of course, they all say no and Probst says that obviously, food is more important to these individual players than alliances. Except for the fact that they can all have their food and still maintain their alliances. Oh, please. No one's going to switch to Marty's side just because he gives up food. In fact, Jane would probably think of a reason why this makes him that much more evil than before. As the women plus Chase walk off in slow motion defeat, Marty says that Chase was incredibly dumb to side with the women and he doesn't understand his logic. I'm starting to realize that Marty thinks that anything anyone does that isn't what he would have done is stupid.
The men enjoy their reward, ziplining from tree to tree. "It was a day for the boys," Ben says. Meanwhile, Dan is considerably less thrilled with the experience. "It was okay," he says in an interview because he's too insecure to admit that he was obviously terrified. He says the only people who use ziplines in Brooklyn are burglars, which I'm sure he knows plenty about. After much fun on the ziplines, it's food time. Ben celebrates this by basically shouting "WOOOHOOHOOOOO!" the entire fucking time. Oh my god, I can't stand him anymore. I mean, I was never much of a fan, but between the woohoohoos and last week's "dirt squirrel" comment, I want nothing to do with him. Marty says the reward gave him a great opportunity to align with the men and convince them to go with his plan to blindside Jane. Of course, Jud is just fine with any plan that hurts NaOnka, and Ben shows his support of Marty's plan by offering him a high-five. Marty says as long as all the guys except Chase are on board, they simply have to convince Brenda and they'll have the numbers.
The guys aren't just pretending to be on Marty's side, either, as Ben interviews that Marty's plan is solid. With that, the guys talk about Chase and how much he sucks. Marty says he thinks Brenda is tight with Chase to "keep her options open." "He's a bad horse to ride," Dan says, who must know plenty about riding on someone else's coattails to get through this game at this point. Jud knows Chase and Brenda well enough to know that back at camp right now, Chase is upset about losing the reward and worrying about what the other guys are planning without him, and Brenda will not like this. Marty says that's all the more reason why Brenda should stick with the guys. Jud says it's Sash's job to convince Brenda to join up with them because she trusts Sash "100%." Sash says she does, but he only trusts her "95%." Sash interviews that while Marty's plan "makes sense," it's all about who he and Brenda, as the two smartest people in this game, decide to vote out.
The women and Chase are back at camp giving each other group hugs and thanking Chase for believing in them and showing his "character." How does what Chase did show character? Chase says the only guy he trusts in this game is Sash, so he sided with the women in his alliance. Brenda doesn't give a shit about anyone's character, saying in an interview that Chase was stupid to side with the girls and only did it because he couldn't stand to let his fellow North Carolina resident Jane, mother figure Holly, and crush Brenda down. The other Kelly speaks up to say that as long as Marty doesn't win immunity, he's going . Chase interviews that he picked the women to show them they could trust him, which he hopes will get him further in the game. I think his general stupidity and ineffectiveness will be what gets him far in this game; he's just such a nonentity that he's not a threat to anyone.
Holly talks to Chase, telling him that Dan and Marty are very tight and will be trying to win Sash and Brenda's allegiance. Chase says he can't talk to Brenda about this or she'll just get mad at him. So they'll just have to trust that she's on their side. NaOnka overhears them and says she really thinks they can trust Brenda. But Chase interviews that things have changed between him and Brenda since they were separated in the tribe swap and he's worried that she's on Marty's side now. NaOnka gives Chase some good advice, telling him to trust Brenda and not get on her nerves. Chase says he won't, but the thing we know, he, NaOnka, and Brenda are sitting on the beach and he's telling Brenda that she seems "really unsure." Brenda says she's just thinking. "I'd love Marty out first. What do you think? You seem really unsure," Chase says. Brenda is clearly becoming annoyed by this, and says, again, that she is not "unsure." Chase says she can trust him. She nods, then interviews that Chase is a worrywart and a crying baby that need constant reassurance. "You seem really unsure right now about everything," Chase says. Brenda says she's sure. Maybe if she said that with just a little bit of conviction, Chase wouldn't get so paranoid. He walks away, and Brenda interviews that despite Chase's muscles and manliness, he doesn't have the confidence and control she expects from an alpha male. NaOnka says she told Chase not to "irk" Brenda, and that's exactly what he just did. Brenda laughs and nods. NaOnka interviews that Chase's alliance is growing sick of his paranoia and may well cut him loose.
The day, the men have returned to camp and treemail announces the upcoming immunity challenge, which will test their memories. Jane interviews that she can only pray that god keeps the "good" people in and gets rid of the "evil," which is, of course, Marty. She tells the women that if Marty loses today, the fat woman will be singing for him, "and I ain't fat but I'm gonna be the fat woman although I'm not fat." Did Jane used to be fat or something? It seems really important to her that we all know she isn't fat, like we wouldn't be able to figure that one out for ourselves just by looking at her. Jane says that anyone but Marty has to win today, or else she knows that she could be the person going home thanks to Marty's "slanderous outburst" at the last Tribal.
The contestants take their places behind individual podiums. Probst takes the immunity necklaces away from Jud and Jane and says there will only be one necklace available today. He explains the challenge: he will show them all a series of symbols that the contestants will have to memorize and show back to him. Guess the wrong symbol or the wrong order and you're out. The last person standing wins immunity. Marty has been telling us for weeks now that he's incredibly intelligent, so this should be his game to lose, right? Probst shows the symbols in the first sequence individually: ship, musket, anchor, ship's wheel, musket, and ship. I'm sure it's much easier to memorize when you see them all laid out together like that instead of just one at a time, which is how Probst shows them to the contestants.
They all get the first and second symbols correct, but Jane and NaOnka guess ship's wheel for the third. Even Dan knew the right answer. Pathetic, ladies. I know you guys are hungry and it's really easy to get distracted and lose your train of thought in this circumstance, but it was just the third freaking symbol! Everyone guesses the symbol in the sequence correctly except for Dan, who thinks the answer is a pile of coins even though that wasn't in the sequence at all. I think he actually did that by accident and thought he was putting up the ship's wheel, as he seemed surprised when Probst informed him he guessed the wrong answer of coins. I don't know if accidentally putting the wrong symbol up is better or worse than forgetting the sequence, but this is yet another amazing fail for Dan. I am really starting to enjoy his challenge performances. The fifth symbol trips up even more people, as Holly, the other Kelly, and Sash all guess ship instead of the correct answer of musket. It's the sixth symbol that is supposed to be the ship, which all the remaining contestants guess correctly.
So, after just one sequence, over half the contestants have already been eliminated. I hope they did some of these before that we didn't see, because it's pretty sad to have so many people get out so soon. Probst shows the second sequence, and all remaining contestants get the first symbol correct. Jud goes out on the second symbol and Chase goes out on the third, although Probst fucks with him a little bit and makes him think he might have been the only person to get the answer right before confirming that he's definitely wrong. Ben is out , leaving just Marty and Brenda, much to Jane's obvious chagrin. Probst says it comes down to Marty and Brenda, who "have not been the best of friends in this game so far." "Not true," Marty says. "Just saying what I see," Probst says, shooting Marty a flirty wink for some reason. It throws Marty off so much that he can't remember what the fifth symbol is. While Brenda knows it immediately, Marty struggles to come up with a guess. When he comes up with ship's wheel, Brenda grins hugely because she knows she has this. She does -- she wins immunity and a big hug from Jane.
The tribe returns to camp. Ben climbs a tree to forage for food, which he can't do without letting out a series of annoying "WOOOHOOOHOOOHOOOOs." Jud and Ben then discuss their plan to blindside Jane, which they both seem to fully support. Ben suggests that they both "lay low" and "play stupid." Jud says he hates playing stupid, but it is "the smartest thing to do right now." Wouldn't it be amazing if Jud then busted out an interview where he told us he had three Ph.Ds and a Mensa membership card? Instead, he just says he's going to lay low or, as he calls it, "being cool."
Dan and Marty move in on Chase, urging him to vote with his head and not his heart and blindside NaOnka with them. Marty tries to put it in terms Chase can understand, saying that what NaOnka did is just like having a teammate steal the coach's playbook (as well as everyone on the team's wallet, Marty adds for good measure), give it to the other team, and lie about it. Chase says he would not want to play with that person, and he'll vote for NaOnka tonight. Meanwhile, NaOnka walks along the beach and says she knows the other alliance is targeting her tonight, but she'll rely on her South Central LA street smarts (are those the same street smarts that told her to take the flour? If so, she might want to tune them out) as well as the immunity idol Brenda's street smarts found for her.
Sure enough, the trap Marty and Dan set for Chase has sprung, as he immediately tells Holly that they told him to vote for NaOnka tonight. But then! "I think their plan is to vote NaOnka and then actually blindside Jane," he says, showing that he may not be as stupid and easily fooled as once suspected. He's voting for Marty, but he doesn't know if Brenda will do the same. Brenda, meanwhile, is sitting on the beach waiting for Marty to come to her, which he does. He says that "Sash's plan" is to pretend to vote for NaOnka but then vote for Jane, and all the men except for Chase are down with this. Brenda interviews that it would be insane to let Jane get anywhere near the end, because she'd definitely win it. Marty leaves Brenda by saying he'll be packing his bags tonight but hopefully won't need to. Unlike Chase, Marty seems to know exactly how to approach Brenda and what to say. Brenda says she told Marty she agreed with his plan but when it comes down to it, Marty isn't running the camp -- she and Sash are. And if Sash didn't have that immunity idol, then it'd probably be just Brenda running the camp.
Brenda and Sash finally get a chance to chat. Brenda asks what his plan is. "My plan is whatever your plan is," Sash says. Brenda says the women want to get rid of Marty, while Sash reports that the men want to get rid of Jane. And basically, they get to pick who goes home based on how annoying everyone else is. For instance, Sash wants Marty to go so he doesn't have to hear about how much Jane and the others hate him anymore, while Brenda doesn't appreciate Jane, Holly, and Chase's alliance telling her what to do and thinks they should be knocked down a few pegs by losing one of their own. Sash says that Marty could be useful to them for a while longer, since he tells them "everything." Yes, because I'm sure he's getting a ton of good insider info from Jane and Chase. Brenda interviews that she and Sash are basically the swing vote tonight, and both alliances think they're on their side. "I kinda am in charge right now," Brenda says. Yeah, and she's been in charge for pretty much this whole game, as much as Marty would love to think he's the one pulling all the strings.
The tribe arrives, and in walks first jury member Alina, looking fresh and shiny and clean. Brenda smiles at her in an attempt to win jury votes down the line, and then Probst begins by sort of apologizing once again for unfair "random" teams in the reward challenge, acknowledging that the women made a "great effort." Jane says it was tough to run into the obstacles and then bounce right off of them. Probst asks Sash if the guys spent their reward time away from camp bonding or strategizing. Sash says it was both, but typically reveals little more. Jud points out that while the five of them were strategizing on their reward, there were six people back at camp doing the same thing, so that could be a problem for the five winners. But at least he got to eat.
Probst asks Marty if he put a target on his back last Tribal by speaking out against Jane. Right, because he didn't have a target there already? Marty repeats that Jane is a big threat at the end, just in case no one got it the first thirty times he said it. Brenda says that Marty's words were true, and you're going to want to bring a "troublemaker" like NaOnka with you to the end over Jane. Probst continues to kiss Jane's ass by asking her if she's worried about being penalized for being so awesome. Jane finally gets a chance to speak, saying that she and Marty stepped on each other's toes in the beginning. Wow, she's being so even-handed, adult, and diplomatic in regards to a guy she once referred to as Mr. Farti.
Now that there's no more drama to be squeezed out of Marty and Jane, Probst turns to NaOnka and reminds her about how she stole food from her tribe but they're still keeping her in the game. NaOnka says what she did was stupid and she'd rather not talk about it, "Jeff." The sarcastic way NaOnka just said Probst's name was kind of awesome. Marty takes this opportunity to speak out against NaOnka's actions in an effort to make her think she should play her idol. He says people seemed to act like what NaOnka did was trivial, but it was not. Stealing food is a big deal to Marty. "I'm not perfect. I'm a humanitarian. I'm a human," NaOnka says, clearly not knowing what "humanitarian" means. She says that Marty just doesn't like her, nor she him. "So you're mad at Marty cause he strategizes?" Probst asks. NaOnka says she doesn't like anything about Marty, from his hair to his walk. This is the second time NaOnka has based her opinion of someone on his hair. Actually, if you think about it, it's the second time she's based her opinion of someone on his walk, too.
Jud speaks up in Marty's defense, only for NaOnka to tell him to wait for her to finish talking. Jud face-palms while Probst giggles, although he does not wink at NaOnka like he winked at Marty. NaOnka then utters a series of nonsense words that I believe is her trying to say that this is a game and these are her competitors, so she has to hate them in order to beat them and win. Marty laughs condescendingly and says his "gut instincts" told him from the beginning what kind of person NaOnka was and she's lived up to his expectations so far. "My daddy's in Inglewood, California and I don't have nothing to prove to Marty," NaOnka says. "He's not gonna be proud of you, sister," Marty says. Hey, do you think Marty would have called NaOnka "sister" if she was white? NaOnka says her father will most certainly be proud of her because after tonight, she'll still be in this game and Marty probably won't be. Hey, if Father NaOnka didn't stop watching this show out of shame over his daughter's actions back in Week Two, then he's probably fine with this.
Despite the harsh words, everyone in the tribe, including Marty and NaOnka, seems to be in pretty good moods and not letting this stuff bother them. That won't do, so Probst asks Jud how he feels about all of this. He says NaOnka's thought process doesn't make any sense to him. Maybe it will when she's in the Final Two or Three and he isn't? NaOnka interrupts to inform the group that she isn't stupid. People who have to tell other people that they aren't stupid are usually stupid, I've found. Jud interrupts NaOnka right back and says her saying she was sorry doesn't change the fact that she stole the flour. NaOnka loses her temper and says everyone keeps talking about the flour, and "what the fuck? What you want me to do?" A shocked Probst's eyebrows rise as high as his botox will allow them to.
NaOnka continues that people can keep harping on her for stealing the flour but she won't lose any sleep over it since she's not sleeping very well in the first place. Marty says she might get a good night's sleep tonight. Marty and NaOnka exchange sassy "mmm hmmms." NaOnka insists that all this talk isn't bothering her, but Jud says it must be since she keeps "going off." NaOnka reminds us that it doesn't take much for her to go off on someone, especially Jud. Jud has been patient and the better person for too long, so he finally unleashes his almighty wrath on NaOnka by saying that she irritates him. "You irritate the fuck outta me too!" NaOnka says, causing Holly's eyes to bug out like she didn't know this was the kind of person she threw her support behind. [She probably didn't. It is Holly after all. -- Angel] NaOnka continues that this is who she is, so fuck you if you don't like it. That's a $100,000 runner-up prize attitude right there. The silence that follows is broken by Marty laughing in the corner. "Fuck you too!" NaOnka tells him.
Probst tries to take control back, but words escape him. "I gotta say, I'm ... I'm ... (sigh) ... god, NaOnka -- I think I'm speechless!" That is not going to win him another hosting Emmy. He finally finds the words to say that it's amazing to him that NaOnka can explode on everyone like this in Tribal after Tribal and still be here, and it tells him that she's going to be there in the end. Jud looks sick at the thought. I think NaOnka's thought process is starting to make sense to him now. NaOnka says if someone wants to bring her to the end because she's a bitch or she's embarrassing herself, then that's fine. As long as we all know that she's not putting on a show and this is who she really is. Yeah, so don't go getting any ideas that NaOnka is a brilliant strategist playing for an easy second place by acting like a nasty crazy person when she has no strategy and is simply nasty and crazy. "This is what I've been for 27 years," NaOnka says, adding that if other people don't like it, that's their problem. Well, except when those people divorce her and she has no family to support her because they apparently don't like the way she acts either. But I guess if NaOnka didn't learn any life lessons and become a better person from that, she certainly won't be using her Survivor experience to change, either.
With that, the contestants vote. Jane votes for "Martie," so either the misspelling of his name is intentional or Jane is worse than Sue Hawk when it comes to names. Despite Jane's earlier seemingly adult attitude towards Marty and their differences, she goes off on a ridiculous rant behind his back, calling him a "disgrace to every man who calls himself a father" and that she would never allow her children or grandchildren to play with his children. Wow, way to drag Marty's innocent family into this, Jane. Totally unnecessary. Marty's final words for Jane aren't much kinder, although he at least has the decency not to talk about her family: "y'all's catfishing trip has been terminated cause y'all messed with the wrong gator, Missy," he says. And then he walks back to his seat doing one of three things: exaggerating the walk he knows NaOnka hates so much just to piss her off that much more; imitating Jane's walk in an attempt to sink to her level of childishness; or doing his impression of a character in one of those Sierra computer games from the '80s. Either way, NaOnka greets it with a middle finger.
Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone would like to play her idol. Marty looks expectantly at NaOnka, but she stays seated. "Oh shit," Marty's face says. This is not going according to plan. Nor do the votes: Jane gets four and Marty gets those of all the women, Chase, and Sash. As soon as he gets that fifth vote, his face falls as he realizes he's done for and I guess we're supposed to cheer that he finally got his comeuppance, but not me. I'm going to miss him. He did stuff! Jane winks at Alina for some reason, like those two had anything to do with each other ever. While Marty collects his torch, NaOnka stays classy by doing a golf clap. Marty wishes the guys luck and exits. Despite the loss of Marty, Probst insists that now that the tribe is no longer voting as a group, things will get interesting. They'd better.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.
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