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In the aftermath of J.T.'s boot and Parvati playing like 27 immunity idols, the Heroes are depressed and Li'l Russell is angry that there was an immunity idol in the game that he didn't have control over. While Rupert hopes to lure Sandra onto the Heroes' side, Li'l Russell tries to win Candice over to the Villains. Candice is so happy to have something resembling an intelligent conversation that she seriously considers it. Colby, Amanda, and Danielle win a reward of a night at Robert Louis Stevenson's house, sharing a bed and a bowl of popcorn while watching the classic film Treasure Island. Amanda and Danielle end up wrestling over the latest hidden immunity idol clue until Colby, who has clearly checked out and just wants to watch the movie, tells Amanda to give it to Danielle. So she does, without so much as reading the damn thing first or making any kind of plan to follow the Villains to try to get the idol instead of one of them. Sigh. Danielle shares the clue with her alliance, and naturally, Li'l Russell winds up with his 3,532,673rd idol and no one else is the wiser. Until three seconds later, when he tells Candice to win her vote. Sandra, meanwhile, hates Li'l Russell and wants him gone, and so tries to mount a campaign with the Heroes. Which Candice then tells Li'l Russell all about because after being silent for the past 26 days, she can't keep her mouth shut. Li'l Russell confronts Sandra, the entire plan is blown to hell, and Sandra decides that the Heroes should vote for Parvarti just in case Li'l Russell has the idol. The Villains, on the other hand, want to vote Amanda out. It all comes down to whose side Candice is on, and in the end she apparently had enough of the Heroes and their utter refusal to play this game or even pretend they like her, and so she sides with the Villains. Li'l Russell plays the idol unnecessarily (he'll just get another one week, though, so who cares?), and Amanda's torch is snuffed for the first time.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The sad and J.T.-less Heroes return from Tribal Council. Rupert immediately tells us that he tried to prevent what he knew was going to happen all along, no one listened to him. Normally I'd be annoyed with Rupert's need to tell us how awesome he is, but the fact is that this is one of the only times he's gotten something right, so he might as well enjoy the moment. "I'm done," he says. "Yeah," says Colby, who's been done since like Day 2. Candice, on the other hand, congratulates the Villains on a Tribal Council well done. Li'l Russell is lying in the shelter with Amanda and Sandra, and asks Sandra if she knew Parvati had an idol. "No, and I didn't know she had two of 'em, neither,' Sandra says angrily. Ha ha ha! She's angry even though one of those idols was given to her to help save her ass! Amanda listens, but we all know she's going to do nothing with this information, so, whatever. Li'l Russell admits that he didn't know about Parvati's second idol, to which Sandra says "daaaaamn," ready to rub Li'l Russell's nose in this because she knows it's tearing him apart inside not to know everything that's going on. "They got secrets goin' around? What the hell is up with that?" Li'l Russell wonders, apparently forgetting what show he's on. He gets out of bed and walks down to the beach to talk to Parvati about her secret second idol. She tells him (and Jerri, who's hanging out with them to convince herself that she's important in this game) that she had it since they won that Sizzler reward, which impresses the hell out of Jerri but pisses off Li'l Russell, who thinks Parvati owed it to him to be upfront and honest after he "saved [her] ass" like seven Tribal Councils ago. He accuses her of lying to him. Parvati pretends she has no idea what he's talking about. "Oh, chill out," she says to him dismissively, rolling her eyes. Li'l Russell says nothing they can say will convince him that he wasn't lied to. Parvati doesn't really care. She interviews that when Li'l Russell realized he wasn't in control of every single thing that happens in this game, it scared him a little bit. Which was Parvati's intention.
Amanda makes a bunch of sad pouty faces as she talks to Rupert about their move. Rupert reminds her that he tried to prevent this from happening, because that is apparently how he begins every conversation now. It's better than talking about his broken toe, though, which is what he was doing before. He offers to talk to Sandra and lure her onto the Heroes' side. Amanda says she'll "work on other people" on the Villains tribe, which cannot possibly be a good idea. Rupert says she'll never be able to break up the alliance of Danielle, Parvati, Jerri, and Li'l Russell. How the hell did Rupert go from a muttering, bumbling idiot one week to the smartest person in his entire alliance the ? He interviews that he had a chance to get Sandra's vote when the tribes first merged, but his allies didn't believe him and now they're all screwed, since Sandra is probably more loyal to the Villains now than she ever was before, thanks to Parvati giving her that immunity idol. Which is why that was such a good move on Parvati's part -- not only did it ensure that J.T. would be voted out, but it also may have won her Sandra's loyalty and it definitely won her Jerri's. Which means everyone in Parvarti's alliance now feels a special loyalty to her above everyone else.
The morning, Li'l Russell goes to work on Candice. He says she has a chance now to secure a spot in the Top Six by flipping to the Villains' side and she might as well take it, since there's no way the Heroes can come back from losing J.T. He interviews that he doesn't trust Sandra (as well he shouldn't), so pulling Candice in will give his alliance a 6-3 majority and protect them from Sandra flipping. He says tells Candice that she'd definitely be in the Top Six if not the Final Three. "Let me know ... " Candice says, trailing off. Poor thing; she's forgotten how to speak after being left with just those dumbass Heroes for company for weeks on end. Li'l Russell then talks to his alliance and tells them that it's looking good that Candice will switch to their side.
Oh, good. The reward challenge is Survivor shuffleboard, one of the more boring challenges this game has featured. The nine contestants will be "randomly" divided into three teams of three and the team whose puck ends up closest to the red X on the board wins a trip to Robert Louis Stevenson's Samoan estate, where they'll watch Treasure Island and sleep in a real bed. Parvati interviews that there will probably also be a clue to yet another fucking "hidden" immunity idol there because that hasn't ruined this season enough, so it's especially important that a Villain wins this reward. Our teams are as follows: Black Team is the fittingly evil Jerri, Parvati, and mutinous Candice; Red Team is Rupert, Sandra, and Li'l Russell; and the Blue Team is Danielle, Amanda, and Colby. The Blue Team is officially the most boring team in the history of teams.
Pucks slide across the board. Li'l Russell gets his the closest so far, allowing Probst to praise his shuffleboard abilities. Rupert then bests him, landing almost on the X. Candice launches her puck at the board and it goes flying off the other end. Probst praises her strategy of trying to knock the red pucks off the board, saying "good idea; didn't work." Then Sandra slides a puck that doesn't land near anything and Probst criticizes her "wasted shot.' Fuck you, Probst. Sandra was probably just trying to make sure her puck didn't knock into her teammate's. Danielle manages to knock Rupert's puck away from the X, but Li'l Russell's puck is the second-closest so that doesn't help the Blue Team much. Li'l Russell slides his puck weakly towards the center. "Lame," Parvati says. Probst asks Li'l Russell if he did that on purpose, even though when Sandra's shot was similarly ineffective he said it was a wasted shot. Li'l Russell says he's just trying to put an obstacle in front of the X to make it harder for the other teams. Maybe, but his puck is seriously like one foot away from the starting place so it's not doing anything one way or the other. Jerri takes the last shot for the Black Team, but isn't able to get her puck closer to the X. Rupert goes last for red and also comes up short, but does put another red puck in the Blue Team's way. Colby gets the last shot and the game is riding on him. He manages to bounce his puck off of someone else's and land almost on top of the X to win it for the Boring Blues. All those years of bar games and frat parties finally paid off for Colby.
And now, a tour of the Robert Louis Stevenson House that you know Amanda, Danielle, and Colby are too dumb to appreciate. While the tour guide lady shows them three Stevenson first editions (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Kidnapped, and Treasure Island), Danielle orgasms over a bed and touches the white bedspread with her nasty dirty fingers while Amanda touches everything else in the house looking for the immunity idol clue, like they're going to hide it in a fucking priceless first edition. If only she opened her half-closed eyes, she might be better at finding it. The three then lie down in a bed with white sheets (soon to be burned by the Stevenson house guide lady as soon as they leave) and the movie begins. It's the 1934 version of Treasure Island (WITH LIONEL BARRYMORE, the opening credits tell us. Barrymore's name is even bigger than Stevenson's and I don't think he did much more in that movie than get drunk, walk into a bar, give a treasure map to the main character, and die. And not necessarily in that order. Clearly, Lionel Barrymore's agent > Robert Louis Stevenson's agent, who should also be ashamed of himself for associating Stevenson with this show). Anyway, you know these three idiots won't appreciate a black and white film from 1934. They would have been better off with Muppet Treasure Island. Sure enough, Amanda tells us that she barely paid attention to the film because she was looking around for an idol clue. She looks everywhere except for the tiny bowl of popcorn that the clue is clearly going to be hidden inside, because that's where they ALWAYS hide clues given out during rewards. Also, that popcorn is totally burnt. That's quite the "fuck you" from the Stevenson house guide lady. I know she did it on purpose. This is also a "fuck you" from the producers, who couldn't be bothered to give them a decent meal for their reward.
Danielle spots the clue in the bowl and manages to sneak it out and place it on the ground to her side of bed with no one the wiser. Oh, wait: "what are you hiding under the bed?" Amanda asks. Danielle doesn't answer, so Amanda decides to sit down on the floor to the bed, then asks Danielle and Colby to scoot over so she can lie down in Danielle's place. At this point, by the way, the clue was actually hidden behind Danielle's pillow and not on the floor like the editing suggested. Amanda grabs it. She couldn't find that clue when it was sitting in a shallow bowl of popcorn, but when it's stuffed behind a pillow, she is right there. Danielle threatens to grab it back from her, so Amanda runs away. Danielle chases her, and the thing we know, they're wrestling with each other over the clue. Also, I should point out that neither of them is wearing pants. Colby continues to eat popcorn and watch the movie. This is ridiculous. Awesome, but ridiculous. Possibly one of the biggest "how did things get like this?" moments in this show's history. Danielle calls Amanda a psychopath and says she has no right to the clue that she found. "Would you give it back to me, please?" she asks. "No," Amanda says, and even she realizes how silly this is because she's laughing. "Are you serious?: Danielle asks. "It's not yours, it was in the room," Amanda claims. "I found it!" Danielle says; "you're psychotic for, like, doing what you just did. You're really psychotic." I think the word you're looking for there is "desperate," not "psychotic," Danielle. If Amanda was psychotic, she'd be sitting on the bed watching Treasure Island instead of doing everything possible to win a million dollars. Danielle appeals to Colby for help. Colby, who is in Amanda's alliance. Smart move, Danielle. "I didn't even see what happened. I was watching Treasure Island," Colby shrugs. Also, where are the producers during all of this? Isn't there some kind of rule about not attacking your fellow contestants? Danielle asks Colby to order Amanda to give the clue back to her. Amanda quite rightly points out that "this is [her] life in this game. It's not ridiculous to me." Colby issues his final ruling: Amanda's move was "out of desperation," but the clue was in Danielle's (pillow's) possession and thus should be returned to her. Amanda dutifully returns the clue to Danielle. EVERYONE IN THAT SITUATION JUST NOW WAS A FUCKING MORON. Danielle for sticking the clue behind a freaking pillow or on the floor where Amanda could take it; Colby for blowing his chance to get anywhere in this game and telling Amanda to give it back when he could have just ordered that they all read it together; and Amanda for going along with Colby's insane decision. At least Amanda admits as much in her interview.
The day at Camp Yin Yang, the reward winners return. Colby complains that they only had one bed for three people, which is kind of lame but I can see why the Stevenson house staff didn't want to have to deal with burning three sets of sheets. Danielle gets a chance to speak with just her alliancemates because Colby and Amanda are really, really dumb. She says she got the clue but had to fight for it, telling them about how Amanda took the clue away from her so she "wrestled her to the ground" and "ripped it out of her hand." Of course, we know that's not how it happened and it was more like Danielle clutched at Amanda and whined a bunch before telling on her to Colby. For some reason, only Danielle and Li'l Russell go off to look for the idol and once again, the Heroes do not bother following them. The clue tells them to look near a "bendy tree" by the stream, and they overturn various rocks. Of course, Li'l Russell finds the idol within five seconds and is able to hide it in his pocket when Danielle isn't looking. He then makes a pathetic excuse and leaves the scene, saying that he wanted to get out of there before anyone else knew about his idol because he's still sore at Parvati and Danielle for not telling him about that other idol. "I am the king of hidden immunity idol," he tells the camera. What is that, like, his seventh one this season? I'm starting to wonder if there isn't a little producer intervention going on after all.
Hey, you know how every time Li'l Russell gets an idol he tells us he won't tell anyone else about it, only to immediately tell someone about it? Well, this time is no different, as he pulls Candice aside and tells her he has the idol because he thinks that will win her trust. "How'd you get it?" Candice asks, probably as disgusted as the rest of us are at Danielle for letting Li'l Russell walk away with another idol. Candice wants proof, demanding to see the actual idol. Li'l Russell pulls it out of its hiding spot and says, "stick with me. I can take you places." Oh how I wish these people had seen Li'l Russell's first season before filming this season. Then they'd know that this was one of the oldest tricks in his book. That, and teaming up with young blondes he thinks are stupid. Candice interviews that she's going to keep quiet about this for fear that her own tribe could use it against her. She tells Li'l Russell that she trusts him, and he tells her this will get them to the Final Three. They hug.
Day 30 dawns on Camp Yin Yang. Sandra fills Colby in on how her tribe imploded and Li'l Russell came to dominance. She interviews that she thought her game was pretty much over when Courtney left, but now that J.T. is gone, the Heroes need her and she can give them the majority over the Villains. "Now is the perfect time for me to make my move,' she says. I love how the fact that Parvati gave her an idol at the last Tribal Council has no bearing on her decision to fuck the Villains over. Unfortunately, Sandra and Colby overestimate Danielle, assuming she has the idol and she'll never part with it, so all they have to do is vote for someone other than her unless they can convince her that she isn't in danger tonight. Colby says they can't let the Villains know that Sandra is flipping or else they won't tell her who to vote for tonight. Duh, Colby. Why are you even here? I wish James had stayed over you at this point, and I really don't like James. But at least he wouldn't have handed an idol clue to his opponent and then sat around at camp while she looked for it.
On the beach, Li'l Russell knows that Sandra and Colby were walking together and asks if they spoke at all. Sandra denies it, saying Colby is "kinda like uptight. Like Jerri said, he like doesn't have no personality." Ahahahaha! Hearsay diss from Jerri! Li'l Russell tells Sandra that they have six votes in the bag, so even if Sandra flips to the Heroes, she'll be in the minority. It takes Sandra a second to figure out that he's saying a Hero flipped to their side, then she's just like, "oh, okay." "I trust you," Li'l Russell says to Sandra, even though he just told her that he got a sixth vote to protect them against her flipping. Sandra just laughs. She interviews that her main motivation for flipping to the Heroes is to "get Russell out." She says that to Rupert, adding a bleeped word to show that she means it. She also tells him that Li'l Russell told her one of the Heroes flipped. She seems certain it's either Amanda or Candice. Rupert interviews in his usual unblinking muttering crazy-eyes manner that Li'l Russell is "a piece of garbage." Colby tells Amanda that Sandra wants to join their team. Amanda immediately says they should vote for whoever Sandra tells them to. Why are they talking to each other and not following the Villains everywhere they go to try to get the immunity idol?
The contestants arrive at the immunity challenge. Probst takes the immunity necklace back, saying immunity is "back up for grabs" unless you're Li'l Russell, in which case it's basically handed to you by the producers on a silver platter because they're under the mistaken impression that you're interesting and should thus go as far in the game as possible. Twice. Today's challenge is the incredibly lame Final Challenge from Season 17: building a house of cards. Oh, but remember when Susie freaking won it? And then everyone from the cast to the crew to Probst was so sad because it meant Invisible Susie would be in the Final Three? And how she was only one vote away from winning the entire season, despite not really existing for most of it? Good times. First person to reach ten feet wins immunity.
The challenge begins, and the contestants take different approaches to their card tower. Parvati appears to be constructing a rhombus for her base, while Candice has little tile teepees for hers. These are both terrible strategies, unless you can win for prettiest tower. After ten minutes, Amanda is still working on a gigantic base while Jerri and Li'l Russell's simple towers are almost as tall as they are. That's impressive until you realize that Li'l Russell's tower is probably just two feet tall. "Colby's building a nice house of cards!" Probst says, and hearing Probst's kind words throws Colby off and his tower collapse. Danielle starts catching up to Jerri and Li'l Russell. Amanda is using all 150 of her tiles to build the strongest and most supportive base ever. Sandra's ridiculously flimsy tower is hit by a soft breeze and collapses. Soon, Jerri and Li'l Russell pass the eight foot mark. Li'l Russell can't hold onto one of his tiles and throws it on the ground. As Jerri and Li'l Russell approach nine feet, Colby gives up on his tower and watches them instead. This is the guy who'd rather watch Treasure Island then two girls with no pants on wrestling for a piece of paper that could be worth $1 million dollars, so it doesn't take much. As Jerri and Li'l Russell start what will be their final level of the tower, Li'l Russell doesn't have enough tiles because he threw one away. HAHAHA! He has to climb back down his ladder to fetch it. Jerri's tower wobbles, but ... she's able to get two final tiles on the top of her tower to break the ten foot mark. She's thrilled to win immunity, saying this is her first individual immunity win in three seasons. Probst sends the contestants back to camp, and Sandra interviews that now that Li'l Russell doesn't have immunity, she's voting for him. "I've waited thirty days. Thirty days too long. It's time for revenge, and this is for Courtney, Boston Rob, Tyson ... and even Coach, who I don't care about, but I'll stick him in there, too." Ahahahaha! Sandra rules.
The tribe returns to camp, and Jerri is beaming. No one has ever been this happy about winning immunity. No one! She takes her necklace off so she can admire it for a while, then interviews that she's "swimming in yay!" Oh, Jerri. But soon we must turn back to Li'l Russell, because every single fucking episode of the last two seasons has been All About Him. He says he's happy that someone from his alliance won immunity, and the Heroes have nothing left in this game. "Rupert and Colby? They're done and they look done," he says. I hate Li'l Russell, but he has a point there. They pose no threat to him, nor does Candice because Li'l Russell thinks she trusts him. That leaves Amanda as the person to vote out tonight because she's an "aggressive, strategic player. She's kinda like Boston Rob in a girl's body." Li'l Russell: good at finding "hidden" immunity idols but a terrible judge of character. What an insult to Rob that was. And also, in some ways, to Amanda. But moreso to Rob, because he never would have given back that idol clue. Li'l Russell talks to Candice, telling her to write Amanda's name down tonight. Candice says that's the best choice they could make and she's "ready to put [Amanda's] name down. She's crossed [Candice] too many times." Oops! Amanda's bizarre need to get rid of Candice earlier in the season just came back to haunt her. Candice interviews that now, no matter which way she votes tonight, one alliance is going to be mad at her. Which puts her in a decent position in some ways, since that could make her an attractive person to take to the Final Three. Candice adds that Li'l Russell having the immunity idol makes her nervous about siding against him. Right, so, keep the guy with the immunity idol in the game. Smart. Sigh. "I felt like I had to go with the plan that was the most solid," she says.
In the shelter, Rupert says he'll be taking all of his possessions to Tribal Council tonight, having learned never to assume you're safe after he was voted out of his first season without any of his stuff, which he overconfidently left back at camp. Sandra tells the Heroes that Li'l Russell is going tonight, and the Heroes agree. And then Li'l Russell asks Candice who the Heroes are voting for tonight and she tells him it's him. Parvati walks up and says she's never seen Amanda "just, like, lay down and die like this." Candice says Amanda thinks she's safe, and Parvati agrees that that explains why she doesn't appear to be scrambling to stay in the game. And then Candice, who apparently you can't shut up once you actually give her people to talk to, reveals that Sandra is voting with the Heroes.
Li'l Russell thinks he's so great at this game, but every time he's confronted with a real issue or threat, he runs down to the beach and screams at people, almost always women. In a particularly awesome shot, we see him scampering on the beach towards the distant figure of Sandra, and Candice wandering around behind him. Confrontation time! Li'l Russell sits Sandra down before Candice gets there because he wants to talk to her alone about what Candice just told him: that Sandra is going to vote for him with the Heroes. Looking him right in the eye, Sandra denies this calmly without getting overly defensive. "Amanda's going home," she says. Candice sits down to them as Li'l Russell interviews that he thinks voting with the Villains against Amanda is both Sandra and Candice's only option. Not really, but whatever. Li'l Russell tells the women that all he needs is one of them to vote for Amanda for her to go tonight. Sandra continues to act like the thought of anyone other than Amanda being voted out tonight never occurred to her. Li'l Russell, in yet another interview, says that Sandra and Candice would have to team up against him and vote with the Heroes, which he can't see happening because the Heroes are pathetic.
Sandra talks to Rupert. She tells him that Candice just ruined everything. "Candice is not flipping. Listen to me, Russell needs out of this game," Rupert says, like that's going to help anything at this point. Sandra says that Candice told Li'l Russell about their plan "by mistake," which, I don't see how that was a mistake, but okay. Sandra interviews that she and the Heroes are basically screwed now and tells Rupert that Li'l Russell will probably get and play the idol tonight.
Later, Sandra talks to Candice while she's on the beach to Rupert and Colby. She asks Candice why she's switching alliances. Candice claims that she isn't. Colby backs her up, saying "she's totally with us." And that's how you know that she isn't. Because Colby sucks and knows nothing and if you want to do well in this game you should just do the opposite of what he does. "Don't hang me out to dry," Sandra tells Candice, who insists that she isn't flipping. Colby shushes the women and says they're going to be okay and everyone will be loyal and it'll all work out just fine and they'll vote for Parvati. Rupert interviews, barely moving his mouth as he speaks this time, that they don't want to vote for Danielle in case she uses the idol on herself or Li'l Russell in case she gives it to him. Thus, their only choice is Parvati. "If this thing doesn't work, it's Candice's fault," Colby says. Candice laughs, thinking he's kidding. But he isn't, because the Heroes all know that Candice is the one who told the Villains about their plan to vote out Li'l Russell. And yet they still trust her. "There's three days of scrambling going on in three minutes," Rupert says. Well, whose fault is that? Maybe if your alliance had DONE ANYTHING during this game before, you wouldn't be in such a dire position now.
As the sun sets, Sandra talks to Candice alone and tries to convince her to vote for Parvati. She says they can even vote for Li'l Russell tonight if that's what Candice wants, as she's sure Danielle won't give him her idol. And she's sure Danielle has the idol, because what moron would let someone else find the idol she fought so hard to get the clue to, right? Sandra makes a very good point here, saying, "the fact that me and you are now talking like this, we're done already. We're freaking done." Because now neither alliance trusts them. To prove this, Li'l Russell scampers up listen in. Sandra is not having that: "Russell, can we just have a minute, please? It's like every time I try to do something somebody gets in my face. I can't even do nothing! It's crazy!" Candice thinks the only way they can "fix this" is to "do what they said," whatever that means. Sandra says she's risked her place in this game to help Candice, only for Candice to turn around and tattle on her to Li'l Russell. "Why did you tell Russell everything we talked about? Why did you run to him?" Sandra asks, all hurt. Yeah, like she was going to flip to the Heroes' side because she wants to do the right thing for them and not because she wants Li'l Russell out of this game by any means necessary. "Just vote Amanda," Candice sighs. Sandra says they can vote Amanda out anytime -- now's their best chance to get rid of a Villain. "They have the idol," Candice whines. Ugh, stop being so scared of a stupid idol! "Everything that we worked for is about to go down the tubes," Sandra says, then tells Candice to just tell her who she's voting for and Sandra will follow suit. Well, shit. Candice just stares at Sandra as she waits for a producer to come up and tell her what to do tonight.
Tribal Council! In walk our three jury members, and if you guys haven't been watching the Ponderosa videos on the CBS site, you are seriously missing out. Douche, Courtney, and J.T. started a band (called The Dragons, naturally) and recorded a song! It's so much more entertaining than the actual show. Probst starts with Rupert and asks him if anyone on the Villains looks vulnerable to flipping over to the Heroes, which is the Heroes' only chance at this point. All eyes turn to Sandra as Rupert says that the Heroes talked about luring a Villain over to their side, but it's pointless since whoever flipped would feel like she was at the bottom of the totem pole and thus not benefit. "There is no real need for the Villains to do anything but stay with their five," Rupert says. Well, that's a stupid thing to say. Probst asks Sandra for her opinion, and she agrees with Rupert that her best bet is to stay with her original tribe, though she acknowledges that some of the Heroes have spoken to her about switching because it's obvious that she's the outsider of her alliance. Probst asks Amanda, whose sad eyes are in full effect tonight, what the Heroes can possibly offer Sandra. "You offer them a better deal," Amanda shrugs. Danielle says Sandra's current deal might be the best possible one. Li'l Russell agrees, saying Sandra is weak in challenges and would be easy to beat in the Final Three, so she's a pretty attractive prospect to take to the end with all of her crappiness. Is he trying to convince her to stay loyal to the Villains with statements like that or does he just not care anymore? Sandra says that she's frustrated with her alliance and feels unwanted or whatever.
Probst asks Li'l Russell if there's discord amongst the members of the Villain tribe. Li'l Russell says they each play different ways: Danielle is "real aggressive," as is Li'l Russell, while Jerri is "calm" (a.k.a. quietly starving to death in the corner), and Parvati is "the charming one of the whole bunch," like that's difficult. Even I could be more charming than Li'l Russell, Danielle, and Jerri, and someone made a Facebook fan page dedicated to my tendency to scowl in photographs in a most off-putting fashion. Sandra asks Li'l Russell what she brings to their group, since he "forgot" to mention her. "Sandra, she's just there with us," Li'l Russell says. Probst says Li'l Russell just made a "big statement" while Parvati looks at Li'l Russell like, "what the fuck are you doing?" and Jerri makes a face that is either sad or bored or dying calmly.
Probst says to Rupert that there are clearly "cracks" in the Villains alliance. Rupert says he wishes he knew about that "be ... fore ... right ... nowsittinghereatTribalCouncil!" Either he speaks at a glacial pace or he's imitating the Micro Machines guy. There are no in-betweens with Rupert. Probst asks Li'l Russell if one reason why he likes Danielle's gameplay is "the more she plays, the less chance she has of winning." Um, why not ask Danielle that question, Probst? Or would you prefer to talk shit about the women present to another guy who you've already asked like ten questions? Li'l Russell just says that Danielle's fighting to get further in this game helps him get further in the game, too, as evidenced by her getting the idol clue at the reward. Danielle beams proudly, like that was any kind of shining moment for her or Amanda or Colby or even Robert Louis Stevenson.
Probst then turns to the only man left in this game he hasn't spoken to yet: Colby. He asks him what he thinks is going on with the immunity idol. Colby says Danielle "definitely" has it. Rupert agrees. Hey, remember when Colby and Rupert were absolutely certain that Li'l Russell was definitely on the outs of the all-female Villain alliance? Yeah. Oops. Probst then addresses Parvati just to ask her if she's vulnerable since the Heroes won't vote for Danielle tonight if they think she'll use the idol. Parvati says she is, but she's trusting her alliance to keep her in the game. Probst asks Li'l Russell if he isn't a "huge target" for the Heroes and a former ally, too. Li'l Russell says that if he doesn't find his 2,367th idol then he'll probably be voted out, but that's what happens when you take risks. Oh, and give your idol away to Parvati because you think she's hot. Twice. With that, we vote.
Li'l Russell votes first. He walks past the jury on his way into the booth, and Courtney pretends to throw up as he passes her. Hee hee hee. He votes for Amanda, saying he'll be using the idol tonight to get rid of her and reminding us that he's the one who found it and not Danielle. Who is he even telling this to? The camera guy? Us, at home, who he must know would have already seen his amazing idol-finding achievement? Himself? Amanda votes for Parvati, saying "I have to play my game, you have to play yours." That's all we get, and Probst leaves to "tally the votes." "You do that," Courtney mutters over in the jury box. Wow, she is just the best. Can you imagine if she and Eliza were in the jury together? It would be so cool. She then gives Probst a sarcastic thumbs-up. Douche is enjoying her antics just as much as I am, by the way.
Probst returns and asks if Li'l Russell would like to play his immunity idol. Why yes, of course he would! Danielle just laughs, while Parvati looks pissed. Li'l Russell says he thinks "someone" did flip after all, so he'll be using this idol for himself. I kind of love how Li'l Russell really thought that the vote was going to be 4 for Amanda and 5 for him, and then his idol usage would save his ass and he would once again prove himself to be the greatest thing that ever happened to this show in his own mind. But guess what? Rupert is grinning like an idiot because he knows that his tribe didn't vote for Li'l Russell -- he just doesn't know how many of them were on his side. Probst doesn't even bother proclaiming the idol to be real, just goes into reading the votes. Amanda gets two votes, as expected. The third vote, however, is for Parvati, who immediately thinks "OH SHIT." We cut to Courtney, who is laughing her ass off. Pointing and laughing, even! Parvati gets a second vote. "Damn it," Li'l Russell mutters, which I believe is the same thing J.T. said when Parvati pulled out that second idol last week. Amanda gets a third vote, then a fourth. But she knew at least four votes were coming her way, right? Parvati gets a third vote. Did Sandra and Candice come through for the Heroes, or does Candice totally suck and thus voted with Li'l Russell? Of course, it's the latter. Amanda gets a fifth and final vote to be voted out of her tribe for the first time in her three seasons on this show. Which is pretty impressive, especially since she's really not that good at this. She gives her torch to Probst, saying she knows he's been waiting for a long time to do this. He doesn't say anything back to her because the Tribal Council ritual is serious business and he cannot deviate from its script. Still pantsless, Amanda leaves the set. Li'l Russell turns to Parvati and whispers, "I had to. I'm never that nervous." "You wasted one," says the girl who handed idols out like Halloween candy last week. She then rolls her eyes disgustedly and Li'l Russell makes a sad face.
See which castaways made our list of the worst human beings on reality shows.
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