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Ah, yes, the merge episode. Those are always fun, and this one was no exception. In fact, it might have been one the best we've ever seen, thanks to Parvati. The Villains are moved to the Heroes camp, and while Li'l Russell easily convinces J.T. that Parvati played her immunity idol at the same time as he played the one the Heroes gave him, thus causing Courtney to go home, Parvati sits around and feels like no one likes her, then eats some bananas to feel better about herself. The Heroes are quick to believe Li'l Russell's story until Sandra gets a second to speak to Rupert and tell him what's really going on with the Villains – and he believes her. Too bad J.T. doesn't, laughing in interviews about how stupid Rupert is when Rupert is probably the smartest person there now. Do you have any idea how bad off your tribe must be if Rupert is the smartest person in it? Amanda and Parvati also get a chance to talk, but neither is particularly forthcoming with the other. When Parvati chooses to lose the immunity challenge to Danielle, however, it's clear enough to the Heroes that she may have a trick or two up her sleeve. So they decide to tell Li'l Russell they're voting for Parvati and see if he follows suit while they all vote for either Sandra or Jerri. Amanda tells Parvati to play the idol she told Amanda she had, but Parvati can sense she's lying. Plus, she now has two idols, as Li'l Russell gives his to her to save her at Tribal. So she goes to camp and plays them both -- by giving one to Sandra and one to Jerri. What? Yes, she did! It was pretty awesome. Not to mention brilliant -- Jerri's idol makes the five votes the Heroes cast against her not count, and while J.T. gets the five Villains votes and is sent to the jury knowing how stupid he's going to look when the editors get through with him.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!I don't know what I'm going to do without Courtney, you guys. Fortunately, she's still with us on the jury where we'll probably see more of her awesomeness than we ever did when she was on the show, where she got two seconds of screentime per episode. Anyway, it's Day 25 at the Heroes, and there's Candice looking truly sad about her current situation, which is sitting to Rupert in front of a campfire and listening to him mumble. Poor Candice must be having the worst time on this show. How has she not thrown herself into the campfire yet? Anyway, the Heroes anxiously await the results of last night's Tribal Council and the inevitable merge. With nothing else to do, Rupert and Amanda hike to the treemail, apparently passing through the Glen of Self-Awareness on the way, where Rupert says, "I hope I'm not pissing anybody off too much" and Amanda replies, "I think we all are. I'm pretty sure I'm annoying someone." At treemail, they find a huge crate and a note telling them not to open it until they have the key. Also, "make room at your camp ... company will be arriving soon." It takes Amanda and Rupert way too long to realize that this means: 1) a merge; and 2) the Villains have the key to the box.
At Camp Evil, Parvarti and Danielle get some kind of fishing gear with a key attached to it and a note from their treemail. They read it to the group, and Sandra is more excited about this development than anyone else. Li'l Russell quickly calls a meeting of his three allies to talk to them about how he'll explain to J.T. why Parvati is still there. He decides that the least complicated way to achieve this is by saying that both he and Parvati played idols last night, so his vote against Parvati didn't count. Okay... why not just say that he used it to take out Courtney since she was the leader of the women's alliance and not Parvati? Duh. Meanwhile, Sandra is sneaking around in the bushes behind them trying to listen in. Ha ha! She's great. Does anyone else use spying as a strategy in this game like she does? Li'l Russell interviews that he believes he has the only immunity idol in this game, and the only people who know about it are the ones who "have to know about it." Yeah, except that's 80% of your entire tribe. Also, everyone on the other tribe. 9 out of 10 people left in this game know about your immunity idol, but you insist that it's a secret? Moron. Finally, the Villains head out to Camp Heroes.
And so, the moment arrives. The Villains arrive at camp as Parvati reminds us in an interview that she and Li'l Russell are the queen and king of this game with their immunity idols, although only her "lady-in-waiting" knows about her idol. As the Heroes approach their new tribemates, the wimpy Villains demand that they help them carry their items because they're heavy. J.T. is displeased to see that Parvati is leading the way into camp, but then sees Li'l Russell too and thinks "oh, thank god!" Ha ha ha. He assumes that Li'l Russell and Parvati played their idols last night. Thus, he concludes, there are no idols left in the game and Parvati will be going home , no problemo. "It's a known fact," he says.
Hugs and handshakes are exchanged, and then the mystery box is opened. Inside are new black buffs, orders to think of a new tribe name and design a flag, and food. Not like those awesome merge feasts we've seen before, though -- this time they only appear to get, like, a thing of ham and some vegetables. Colby spouts some nonsense about two tribes becoming one, and then it's time to think of a new name. "The Hillians!" suggests (I think) Sandra, who is clearly better at sneaking around and just about everything else than she is at thinking of tribe names. Someone (I think it was Amanda?) puts in for "Yin Yang," and since that's the worst suggestion by far, you know it will win. It always does. Oh, and then Jerri suggests "All Villains" and all we're missing from the group's reaction to that is a record scratching sound effect. "Really, Jerri?" Colby says. Rupert interviews that they're "all winners" and "all all-stars" and "all something good and positive," so he doesn't get why these Villains are, basically, acting like Villains. Yes, why should they when they can act like Villains but pretend they aren't and call themselves Heroes?
Meanwhile, no one has kissed Parvati's ass in like five minutes, so she sulks in the shelter by herself and waits for someone to notice. But no one does, as everyone is too busy listening to Jerri's story about how she built her own covered wagon last year. How very "Oregon Trail" of her! Did she shoot a buffalo and was only able to carry 200 pounds back to her wagon, too? When she reached Snake River, did she try to ford it or caulk the wagon and float it across? Or did she shell out $5 for one of those hideously overpriced ferries? Meanwhile, Amanda is talking about someone who had a worm under his skin. "If I had that, I think I'd cut myself," Li'l Russell says. How emo of him! Parvati walks off to complain to Danielle about how mean everyone is, although at first she has to pretend like she doesn't want to talk about it. She interviews that she knows she isn't welcome here and that the Heroes wanted her gone last night. "I'm thinking they're gonna vote for me because they want me gone," she says. Huh, that makes sense! Kind of like how they don't vote for other contestants because they want them to stay. Parvati asks Danielle if the Heroes think she's stupid. Danielle says they apparently do, and they're operating under the assumption that they have a 6-4 majority with Li'l Russell on their side. "Let them think that," Danielle shrugs. Yeah, easy for her to say when she isn't the target. "I'm over it," Parvati brats. She then interviews that she is offended by the Heroes' treatment of her and ready to pick them off one by one. She sends Danielle away, warning her not to be seen speaking with self-appointed pariah Parvati. Parvati then takes a second to make sure the camera gets the best possible angle of her as she walks away from the beach in her bikini while stroking her hair and looking like an ultimate Bond Girl. But one of the bad ones.
Meanwhile, J.T. and Li'l Russell get to talking. Oh, and Rupert's there, too, lying on his back and muttering things. Li'l Russell tells the guys about how he and Parvati ended up standing up at the same time at the last Tribal Council to play their immunity idols. "We both stood up and looked at each other," he says. No doubt J.T. is thinking right now about how awesome that episode will play out on TV, and how he will be lauded as the mastermind behind it. Rupert asks how Courtney ended up getting voted out, and I believe Rupert says that since all the votes went to him or Parvati, they had to do a re-vote where no one could vote for Parvati or Li'l Russell and Parvati and Li'l Russell weren't allowed to vote either, for some reason. Then Courtney voted for Jerri and everyone else voted for Courtney. Way to make the story as complicated as possible there, Li'l Russell. He then tells the guys that they are his only hope, and he will never betray them. He swears on his kids, too, just in case they haven't been traumatized enough by watching their dad these last two seasons. Li'l Russell scampers off, and J.T. nods at Rupert that Li'l Russell is "solid" and "a good old country boy." Dude, J.T. You idiot. Wasn't pretending to be a good old country boy what got him that million dollars two seasons ago? Didn't he laugh and laugh about how people trusted him just because of his Southern accent, even when they shouldn't? J.T. interviews that sure, Li'l Russell could be the leader of the all-female alliance, but he doesn't think so. "I trust him explicitly," J.T. says. Pretty sure you mean "implicitly" there, guy. But you're about to trust him expletively in about 45 minutes, so whatever. While Rupert and J.T. talk about how Li'l Russell will bring them to the end of the game, Li'l Russell stands on the beach and brags to the camera about how they just bought everything he sold.
But then! Rupert and Sandra get a chance to talk for the first time. "Oh my god, Rupert, listen," Sandra says. And she tells him everything. She interviews that there are some people who forgive but don't forget, but not her. No, she doesn't forgive or forget! Love her! "I hope I get my revenge cause it's gonna be gooooood," she promises. Unfortunately for her, it seems that Rupert is her only hope and he is... well, Rupert. But then! He interviews that he just got some "really good information" from Sandra, which he seems to believe! "This is where the game gets crazy," says the scary bearded guy who's been muttering around the forest for the past three and a half weeks.
Day 26 dawns. The editors seem to hate that Yin Yang name as much as I do, because they're still calling this the "merged tribe." The contestants eat breakfast and all seems to be well. Until Parvati ruins EVERYTHING by getting herself a banana. Dun dun dunnnnnnn! If you'll recall, the Heroes are batshit about their stupid bananas. They voted James out not because he couldn't move, but because he ate too many bananas and didn't offer any to anyone else. Bananas are serious business here. "We just ate," Colby says. "Why do they wanna eat again?" Rupert asks. He decides the Villains are a "greedy-ass, eating-ass, pain-in-the-ass tribe." He explains in an interview that coconuts are aplenty, but everything else is scarce and should be rationed equally. But the Villains just eat whatever and whenever they want! It's kind of like they have no idea that the Heroes have rules governing their food supply. As if no one told them that and they can't read minds.
The Heroes sans Colby go for a walk. Rupert suggests that Li'l Russell is playing them. J.T. immediately comes to Li'l Russell's defense, saying there's no way Parvati didn't play an idol at Tribal Council and Li'l Russell isn't true to his word. Amanda agrees. Rupert begs them to reconsider, saying Li'l Russell "is on the Villains' side for a reason!" Oh man, when Rupert is the voice of reason on your tribe, you are in some serious trouble. He finally gets the Heroes to agree to test Li'l Russell's loyalty by telling him they're going to vote for Parvati, then voting for someone else. If Li'l Russell is trustworthy, he'll vote for Parvati and whoever the five Heroes write down will go home. If not, it'll be a 5-5 tie. Candice says nothing about any of this, because she has completely checked out of the game at this point. Amanda interviews that this is a good thing because if they trust Li'l Russell and he betrays them, they'll "lose [their] lead," which would "be awful." First of all, Amanda, you guys don't have a lead. It's 5 to 5. Second of all, stop doing your helpless little girl "that'd be awful!" pout and start being awesome like that one episode in Season 16 where you idol'd Alexis out of the game. J.T. tells Rupert that he's being overly paranoid, then interviews that Rupert is a moron and he's been doing "Rupert's strategical play for him thus far." I love it when people try to look smart by saying things like "thus far" immediately after saying words that don't exist, like "strategical." "He needs to be told where to vote by someone he really trusts and let that be done," J.T. says. He thinks Rupert is foolish to believe what Sandra told him over "the obvious truth" that Li'l Russell told him. Wow, the editors have switched their hatred of Rupert and desire to make him look like a mindless buffoon at every turn to J.T. Back in the woods, Rupert tells Candice that the fact that Li'l Russell swore on his kids' lives makes him immediately suspect. Except that he wasn't suspicious until after Sandra talked to him, but still. "Okay," Candice just says. I wonder if she was talking to Rupert or answering a question she posed to herself in her mind about if she should hang herself from that tree branch now.
Day 27 at "Merged Tribe." Amanda and Parvati go off together, apparently the first opportunity they've had to do so since the merge, which I find hard to believe. They talk about how people on both of their tribes are afraid they'll team up again, and Amanda tells Parvati that her tribe wants to vote Parvati out. "I don't know what to do cause it's weird," Amanda says, claiming she has no power in her tribe. She says she's trying to convince them to vote Sandra out instead of Parvati. Parvati interviews that she's pretty sure she got only "half the story" from Amanda. She makes Amanda promise she'll tell her who her tribe is voting for tonight, then says she has a secret: she has an idol. "You have another one?" Amanda asks. See, right there Amanda should be wondering how Parvati could have possibly gotten an idol so soon after supposedly playing one at the last Tribal Council. Parvati won't tell her any details about how she got it except, "I'm crafty." "Love it. Loving it!" Amanda says. She interviews that she told Parvati "enough" to gain her trust, and now she knows about Parvati's idol. She does not want Parvati to make it to the end of this game again because she knows she'll win it if she does. Especially if she's up against Amanda. Then again, Stalin could probably beat Amanda in a Final Two. She's just that terrible at Final Tribals. Parvati and Amanda agree to work together and do their played out "blow it up" secret handshake.
Immunity challenge! Probst asks Li'l Russell what their new tribe name is, and he says it's Yin Yang, then explains that means "good and evil" as if Probst's silence is because he doesn't know and not because he is continually disappointed by contestants' shitty merge tribe names. Probst explains the challenge, which is recycled from Season 18, when it was recycled from Season 13, when it was recycled from Season 9. Writing "Season 9" reminds me of Twila, and how lame it is that she isn't on this season. The contestants position themselves on the poles and Probst happily removes their ladders. Immediately, Amanda, Colby, and Sandra lower themselves down the pole. Probst says that could be a "good strategy" or a "sign they're in trouble." How about both? Why would someone stay up at the top if he didn't have to, especially when there's always a chance he could slip and fall? I'd rather fall 15 inches than 15 feet. Sandra and Colby have trouble less than a minute into the challenge and decide to drop out together. Probst is very disappointed in Colby's poor performance, but Colby says he's not good with challenges that require tiny feet.
Li'l Russell is the to step down, and all of the men seem to be having trouble except for possibly J.T. Sure enough, despite his best efforts to stay on, Rupert goes . Also, Sandra, Li'l Russell, and Colby should be ashamed of themselves for being outlasted in this challenge by a fat man with seven broken toes. After 20 minutes, Amanda is the to drop out. J.T. slides down a few notches, claiming he was just readjusting. But then when asked by Probst, he cannot tell a lie and admits that he slipped. 20 minutes later, he's still on the pole but has to keep readjusting. Then, he falls. That leaves four women left in the game, three of them Villains.
At 1 hour and 30 minutes in, all four women are still there but some are having more trouble than others. Like Parvati, who is hanging off her pole supported by just one foot and arm like this is nothing. Jerri realizes that she'll never be able to outlast Parvati and steps down, claiming that she's dehydrated. As soon as she touches the ground, Sandra says they drank all of her water. Jerri laughs, thinking Sandra is joking. She's not. It's all part of her revenge plan. I just know it. Probst recaps that there are three women left in the game, two of whom, Candice and Parvati, faced off against each other in this challenge before. And they both lost. Suddenly, Candice wishes Parvati and Danielle luck and heads down the pole. Probst is like, "wait, what? What are you doing, Candice?" She says she's stepping down. Probst tells her to hold on a second so he can obviously try to convince her to stay in the challenge, not like he's inserting himself in the game or trying to influence the outcome or anything like that. He says it looks like she's quitting "for no reason." Well, she might be tired. That's a reason. Candice just says Danielle and Parvati look strong. Wow, Candice just doesn't care anymore. I wish she'd do something more exciting with her not giving a shit attitude, though. She steps off the pole, and Parvati turns to Danielle and asks how she's doing. "I'm cool," Danielle says. "You want me to win?" Parvati asks. "I'll win, cause you have the idol," Danielle says, speaking through clenched teeth just in case anyone can read lips, I guess. Or maybe she's just been hanging out with Cheshire Cat Parvati too much. "I'm out," Parvati says, and climbs down. She couldn't make it any more obvious that she's choosing to step down, which should make the Heroes (and the Villains, really) suspicious that she has a reason to think she doesn't need immunity. I mean, she basically stayed up there until all the Heroes were gone, then left. Danielle jumps down off her pole, causing her boob implants to ripple and wrinkle in a way that made me cry out in horror and then be grateful that I'm still too poor for an HDTV. [Good thing. It was horrifying in hi-def. -- Angel] Why do women get those? It makes no sense to me. Fortunately, Probst soon covers that mess up with the immunity necklace, which this season appears to be devoid of sharp objects. During the slow-mo walk of shame, Rupert interviews that now he really thinks Parvati has an idol after seeing her step off the pole, and now he's hoping to "oust" Li'l Russell as a true villain at Tribal Council when she inevitably plays it.
The text calls the merged tribe Yin Yang for the first time. I guess the name becomes official only after they tell Probst. The tribe returns to camp, and J.T. interviews that he's a little suspicious of the fact that Parvati stepped down during the challenge when she knows how much danger she's in. But the plan stays the same: the five Heroes vote for either Sandra or Jerri and Li'l Russell votes for Parvati if he's loyal. Man, that was a stupid move for Parvati to make. Why didn't she act like she lost by mistake? Pretend to slip or something? J.T. and Colby discuss which Villain to vote out tonight. Colby wants Sandra, but J.T. thinks Jerri is physically stronger and should thus go first. Meanwhile, Jerri and Sandra hang out in the ocean together and discuss the aftermath of tonight's Tribal Council, which they both somehow know will be insane. Sandra interviews that she was only able to speak to Rupert briefly and that will have to be enough, because she doesn't want her "big mouth" to get her "in trouble." She seems to think she has no chance with the Heroes and is currently "stuck" siding with Li'l Russell. She repeats "I'm stuck with Russell," and no one has ever sounded sadder. I know how she feels. After every episode of this show ends and Li'l Russell still isn't voted out, I say it, too.
Li'l Russell, meanwhile, unearths his immunity idol to give to Parvati. Well, that's two immunity idols he's had and given away to her now. He interviews that he's doing it for himself, as it's the only way to get rid of J.T. and take away the Heroes' numbers. But I don't see him giving his idol to anyone that he doesn't flirt with all the time, do you? He presents it to her and she gives him a hug, so mission accomplished for Li'l Russell, I'm sure. Parvati then runs over to her bag and digs out her own immunity idol. She holds both idols up to the camera and says she has one idol that saves her tonight and another that will save her for the rest of the game. "Two little green men protecting me! And apparently, everyone else in this game is like desperate to get rid of me and they said that I'm the most dangerous player out here, so ... I don't know. I guess they're right," she says, giggling. Yeah ... I guess they are.
Amanda and Parvati go off for another chat. Parvati wants the truth from Amanda, but all she gets is "it's so weird." "To be on two separate tribes?" Parvati asks. Weren't they on two separate tribes for a while during the Micronesia season, though? [And they are on one tribe now... just in separate alliances. -- AC] "I honestly don't know what do," Amanda says, looking very uncomfortable. She doesn't see how they can "play together." Oh come on, Amanda. There's always a way. You just don't want to do it. She interviews that she's trying to convince Parvati to play her idol while her tribe votes out either Sandra or Jerri, because that would flush out an idol and reduce the chances that she'll give it to someone else on the Villains tribe to play, thus getting a Hero out instead. This shows that Amanda has some kind of sense when it comes to predicting Parvati's moves. Not enough, though. "You never want idols floating around. It just ruins things," she says. I'm sure Alexis would agree. Parvati asks Amanda if they're voting for her tonight. "Well, you better play that thing," Amanda just says; "just in case." That's not an answer, Amanda. That's a dead giveaway. "Really?" Parvati asks. "Just play it," Amanda says. " ... okay ... " Parvati says, not appearing to buy it. Because guess what? She's seen this "poor me, I don't know what to do!" act from Amanda before, and it was when Amanda had her own idol and told only Parvarti while the rest of the tribe tried to vote her out. "I knew that Amanda was lying to me," Parvati interviews. Oh, Amanda. Why would she side with the Heroes over Parvati? Amanda continues that Parvati should really play the idol. Parvati, and no one else. Yes, Parvati should play it herself tonight and not give it to someone else to play. So basically, Amanda just told Parvati that the only person guaranteed not to go home tonight is Parvati. "I don't know what to do!" Amanda whines; "I'm so confused!" Parvati tells her to convince the Heroes to vote for her and she'll play the idol. "All right. My head hurts!" Amanda says. How did she make it over 100 days in this game? She's like the Mr. Magoo of Survivor.
The tribe enters Tribal Council. In walk Douche and Courtney, wearing matching skirts and dresses! I think they made them out of the loser's lodge drapes. Well, Douche's skirt is made from the drapes. Courtney's is from the drapery tie back. And you know Courtney just gave Sandra an air fistbump. Probst takes control, asking Rupert what it's like at camp with the Heroes and Villains together. Rupert describes it as "an adjustment" and complains about the Villains' poor banana etiquette, saying he hasn't eaten a ripe banana since they arrived. Danielle says there are plenty of bananas and plantains around (in fact, she describes it as a "plethora amount," because why use five cent words when you can look stupid misusing a ten dollar word?), so she doesn't think they should be "penalized" for eating them. "Banana wars," Courtney whispers to Douche, who nods sagely. Rupert says he's not complaining about the plantains -- it's the "RIPE BA NA NAS," he's upset about, as he puts it. Let's cut to Sandra and then Parvati's reactions to this, which are amazing. Sandra's like "I don't know what you're talking about, but it pisses me off" and Parvati's face says "Rupert scares me with his banana intensity. Don't I look pretty, though, guys?" Rupert's major complaint is that the Villains eat the bananas before they ripen. Danielle says they're used to doing things differently, and now that the tribes have merged, they should work together to figure out a way to behave around camp that makes everyone happy. Yes, that would be a good idea. But they haven't done it yet so they probably never will.
Li'l Russell speaks up and says nothing will change -- these are two separate tribes and he just wants to forget about bananas and play the game. Probst asks Li'l Russell if tonight's vote will dictate the rest of the game. Duh, Probst. It always does. Li'l Russell says yes, it will. If a Villain goes, the Heroes will be in the Final Five. If a Hero goes, the Villains will be in the Final Five. Yes, it's always that simple. Probst asks if J.T. agrees. Probst hasn't addressed a woman yet, by the way. J.T. says he does, and he hopes a Villain goes tonight. Probst follows up with J.T., asking if things were crazy at camp today. J.T. says no one from the Villains has spoken to him, so he's pretty sure they're writing his name down. "I'll talk to you any time!" Jerri says, always ready to flirt awkwardly. J.T. says it's too late and his feelings are already hurt. Probst asks Jerri if J.T. is right that the Villains were avoiding him. Jerri says she felt like the Heroes were putting a wall up against them, and J.T. in particular. Probst asks Li'l Russell if the woman isn't just paranoid. Li'l Russell says it must be, since he talks to J.T. all the time and probably speaks to the Heroes more than the Villains. "They're playing," Courtney whispers to Douche, who nods disgustedly. Um, those two are awesome. They're like the two cranky guys in the balcony of The Muppet Show. Probst asks Sandra if she's concerned that her tribemate is making friends with the Heroes. Sandra says no, because everyone is just trying to get along and she talks to the Heroes, too, just to be friendly. But as far as strategy is concerned, the Heroes haven't said anything to her so she hasn't said anything to them.
Parvati finally speaks up, saying that she thinks she's the person being avoided. "I feel like a leper on this tribe," she says. "But is that just because you're used to getting attention all the time in life?" Probst asks. That's pretty funny, I'll admit, but probably not appropriate for him to say. He didn't say anything like that to J.T. "No, Jeff," Parvati says as the group and jury crack up; "you're right, but no." She thinks she's seen as a huge threat with whom no one wants to be associated, and is probably the Heroes' target tonight. Colby says maybe no one has approached Parvati because they know she'll be around for a while and thus there's plenty of time to talk to her. "So there's another angle," Colby says, clearly impressed with himself even though he just said nothing. Probst ignores him, and asks J.T. if people are worried about idols. J.T. says they are, because he has no idea how many idols are in the game or who has one. Parvati says that the Villains are worried too, since they've seen what immunity idols can do to someone's game. Douche and Courtney raise their hands as examples of people who have been fucked over by immunity idols. Probst says it's time to vote.
Li'l Russell votes for J.T. Parvati votes for him too, saying this is her love letter to him just like he wrote one to Li'l Russell. Except that J.T.'s was like 30 pages long and in cursive. Jerri votes for J.T. Then the Heroes vote. Amanda, Rupert, and Candice vote for Jerri, with Rupert saying he hopes Parvati plays her idol and proves that Li'l Russell is a liar after all and Candice saying that the Heroes chose her on the assumption that she's the least likely person on the Villains tribe they'd give an idol to. Ha ha! That's mean.
While Probst is off collecting the urn, Courtney knows we need to be entertained, so she whispers to Douche about how annoyed she'll be if "that little troll plays an idol." But we know the little troll gave the idol to Parvati, and that she doesn't even need it anyway. Jerri, however, does. Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Rupert looks at Parvati expectantly, and sure enough, she sits up with a "you know what, Jeff?" J.T. looks panicked. Rupert looks satisfied. Amanda looks blank. Parvati continues: "I think it would be downright depressing to sit and watch green bananas turn yellow without my debaucherous little Villains. So ... " and here is where it gets even MORE AWESOME than it was before and you realize how and why Parvati won this game before. She pulls one idol out of her bag and hands it to SANDRA, who grins and says "get outta here! For real?" The Heroes grin, too, because though they made a mistake trusting Li'l Russell, it ended up okay for them because Parvati gave the idol to the wrong Villain.
BUT THEN! Parvati isn't done. "And Jeff," she says; "I would just like to increase our odds." She reaches back into the bag and pulls out her second idol, handing it to JERRI. "Damn it," J.T. says. HAHAHAHA! It's a known fact that he gave Li'l Russell an idol that just took him out of this game and it's a known fact that Parvati is amazing. Sandra and Jerri hand Probst their idols, seemingly shocked at this turn of events. And grinning their asses off, don't forget. Probst proclaims that the idols are real and any votes against Sandra and Jerri will not count. The Heroes know they are well and truly fucked. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted that [BLEEP]," Rupert says, because it's never too early to say I told you so. Probst reads off the first vote: Jerri. Jerri has never felt so relieved in her life. Parvati too, I think, because now she knows for sure that giving the idols away was her smartest move. And it really was smart. From stepping off that pole and giving Danielle immunity to handing immunity to Sandra and Jerri, she had this entire game figured out this week and basically made her entire tribe immune. She knew the Heroes wouldn't vote out Li'l Russell and she was sure enough, based on Amanda's dumbassness, that they weren't voting for her, either. Giving immunity away is always a dumb move, but in this case, it really helped her. Now she might have Sandra's loyalty because she gave her that idol. And her tribe is the majority. All five votes for Jerri don't count. The sixth vote is for J.T., and he knows he's done. He gives Li'l Russell a "well done" and shakes his hand even though the person who really played this whole thing out was Parvati. But she's a woman and a pariah, so he says nothing to her. As he says his good-byes to his tribe, Li'l Russell mutters to Parvati "you have some explaining to do." "Secret!" she shrugs. Quit trying to ruin her moment, Li'l Russell.
J.T. bids his tribe adieu with a "good luck, fellas," which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about how much he dislikes and doesn't trust women. But just in case you weren't absolutely sure, he ends his good-bye speech with "don't ever trust [villains]. Worse than that, don't ever trust women. Ever, ever, ever." Hey, dumbass! Li'l Russell (A MAN) betrayed you, which you gave him a free pass to do because you were so scared of a women's alliance that never even happened! If only you'd listened to Sandra (A WOMAN), the only Villain who told your tribe the truth, this might not have happened to you. But I'm really glad it did.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, follow her on Twitter, or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.
Tonight's blindside will surely make out list of most memorable moments this season, but check out Samoa's moments to remember.
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