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Our contestants are reunited, and burning questions are not answered. Instead, we learn that GC almost skipped a challenge because he was looking for the Gabon Popeye's, Probst gives Susie absolutely no credit for making it to the end and getting so many votes, gorgeous Sugar is the audience favorite (but not enough to win the Player of the Game prize, which goes to Bob), Corinne is the audience least favorite and thinks that's something to be proud of, Randy is still bitter about the chocolate chip cookie but is also pretty funny (and, hilariously, brought six random strangers as his audience guests), Crystal really did win a gold medal, Ken recognizes that he got too cocky and that lead to his downfall and Ace still claims that his fake accent is legit. They run out of time before they can ask him about his current legal complications. See you year when we go to Tecnolohoehhhchtins, Brazil!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We begin the reunion show with a montage of Bob's greatest moments, of which there aren't very many. There's Corinne saying she won't take him to the end (ha ha!), him making the first fake idol, and his many individual challenge wins. Organ music plays us back into the show, making this sound more like a lively church service than a live TV event for millions of viewers. And here's Father Probst, who welcomes us back from the live winner reveal (here's the weerecapletlet: Bob won) and congratulates Bob for managing to win despite being so old. Bob is the oldest winner in Survivor history, which just goes to show that Rudy should have won the first season. Probst asks Bob for the key to his victory, and instead of saying "Sugar. Sugar. Sugar," a.k.a. the truth, he says he was necessary and helpful. Bob is having trouble talking, either because he's nervous to be in front of a live audience like this, overwhelmed to have just won all that money, or has a bad cold that's making it difficult to talk. Or all three. Probst tries to pull something out of Bob and asks about his game plan. Bob says his plan was to fly under the radar and be nice and necessary. You'll notice that he didn't say exciting. You were warned.
Probst asks Bob about his first fake idol. Bob says if he hadn't used it, he would have been the to be voted out, so it saved him at the expense of Randy. If that's true, then why didn't Bob say that during the Final Tribal Council? That's a much better answer than "I didn't think Sugar would laugh so hard." Probst asks Bob how he made the idol in the first place, and I hope the production crew is taking careful notes so as not to repeat their mistake of having idol-making crafts so close to the contestants. Better yet, let's just get rid of the idols entirely. And this Final Three business. This is the first season of Survivor I've watched that had a Final Three, and I don't like it. Bob says he'd been collecting beads around camp all along, and when he was sent to Exile "Island" the first time, he pretended to yawn while reaching up and grabbing a bunch of beads and trinkets off the Kota team flag. How did no one notice that? At Exile, he found the skull-shaped rock and that was it. Sounds to me like he'd been planning on making this fake idol since the beginning of the game. Probst says everyone yelled at him for throwing Bob's awesome fake idol into the fire, so he's here to say that he managed to get it out of there after everyone left Tribal Council. Way to pull a Skupin, Probst. How brave of you. Everyone claps except for Randy. Ha! Probst produces the fake idol, and it's blackened but still recognizable. Even the leather strap is in good condition. The Tribal Council fire is weak. Probst gives the fake idol to Bob. I was happy to see them reunited until I read about how a ton of stuff from the set was confiscated by federal officials for being full of disease and termites. That fake idol is going to give all of Maine Ebola.
Probst asks Bob how he's used his experience on the show in the classroom, and Bob says his students have been really supportive in watching their old teacher run around on TV in his underwear and he's used some Survivor challenges as problems on tests, one of which his poor students have to take tomorrow. Tomorrow? What a hard ass! Looks like Bob isn't such a nice guy after all. It takes a certain kind of asshole teacher to assign his kids a test the day after they've all been up past eleven watching him win a million dollars.
Probst turns to the jury and asks them how many of them would have voted for Matty if he made it to the Final Three instead of Bob. All the Kotas and Ken raise their hands. Then I guess we should be thankful that Sugar took Bob to the end instead of Matty, because he would have made for an even blander winner and an incredibly dull end to the season. Probst rubs it in that Matty lost out on a million dollars because he couldn't start a fire, and Matty's smile is bizarre. He's one of the few people in the world who look better when they aren't smiling. He also looked better with the beard. It hides the fact that he doesn't have any lips. Matty says he didn't practice making a fire like Bob did because he never saw a tie coming. He thinks he was too confident. I think it's more like he was too young to assume a father figure role and Sugar's brother, Pepper, didn't die recently. Probst orders everyone at home to practice their fire-making skills if they make it on this show so they don't lose out like Matty did. And if you want to make it on this show in the first place, hang out at Whole Foods and look hot, like Matty did. "I was never very good at homework," Matty says. Heh. And I'm not surprised.
Probst asks Susie how the hell she managed to get to the Final Three and get three votes, the implication being that Susie sucks and didn't deserve to make it three days, let alone thirty-nine. Shut up, Probst. It's not Susie's fault that she got edited out of the show. Susie says she played under the radar, worked hard, tried to be nice, and won two crucial individual immunity challenges. Sounds good to me, but Probst can't quit while he's ahead, so he says he was shocked at the number of votes Susie got and was afraid she might have won the game. The deciding vote was Randy, so Probst asks him why he voted for Bob over Susie. "They kept reminding me it was just a cookie. It was a million dollar cookie," Randy says, looking like a serial killer with his halting delivery and pursed lips. Susie tells her side of the story: Bob wanted to know what happened at the auction when he returned from Exile, so she was telling him and apparently her take on the situation upset Randy. Yeah, plus he was looking for something he could yell at everyone for as part of his crash and burn non-strategy at the time. Probst says a chocolate-chip cookie cost Susie a million dollars, but I really doubt it. Randy wasn't going to vote for Susie no matter what.
Probst turns to Sugar and says she was one of the more popular contestants this season. He then gives the audience some time to applaud her and her some time to bask in it. She says a lot of people talk to her on the street, often to thank her for Cookiegate. And people have apparently been blogging about seeing her driving around in her car, which is easy to identify now that they showed most of her license plate on the recap show. Here's a tip: if seeing a Survivor contestant on the street is so exciting to you that it makes it onto your blog, you're probably way too boring to have a blog in the first place. Then again, I put pictures of hummingbirds and my mean old lady neighbor up on my blog, so I should probably shut up. Probst takes this to mean that Sugar is a "superstar" who can't leave her house, which isn't what she said. Sugar says she just has to make sure she's wearing make-up at all times. Right, because it's not like fans of this show ever saw you without make-up on. Except for the entire season. Probst disbelievingly says he's impressed that just from being on Survivor, Sugar now needs her own paparazzi guards. Not what she said, but whatever.
Probst asks Sugar what it was like for her to do an emotionally taxing show like this while still mourning the recent loss of her father. Uh ... bad? I think that was pretty clearly established throughout the season. Sugar takes this chance to get in a little dig at Corinne, saying "anybody who has a heart" would see that she was a bit of an emotional wreck during her time on the show because of her father's death. She tells us that she doesn't cry every day now and she's gotten better since she left Gabon, and credits her fellow contestants for making her stronger.
Probst then addresses the white elephant in the room, or rather, the hateful bitch with a bad boob job. He says Sugar may have won over the audience, but not so much her tribe mates, and shows the clip of what he calls "one of the nastiest comments I have ever heard." And there's Corinne telling Sugar she isn't sincere when she cries about her dead father. Back at the show, we get a shot of Corinne beaming widely and blowing kisses at the audience, who are loudly booing her. Probst says we'll find out if Corinne meant what she said and if she regrets it after the break. I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure the answers to those questions are going to be "yes" and "no."
We get a Corinne montage to bring us back from break. She says she's going to be a bitch and laugh when people cry and own it, and her tribe is full of mutants she wants to kill with poison. And then there's her threat to be nasty to Sugar at Tribal. And then she carries it out. Lovely! Lively church music plays us back into the show, and Probst says Corinne's comment to Sugar is at the top of his list of horrible things said on seventeen seasons of this show. He gives her a chance to try to look not completely evil in the eyes of millions of viewers and asks if she regrets what she said. "It's hard to explain," Corinne starts. I'll bet. "Obviously, I feel sorry for her loss," she continues, not looking or sounding at all sorry. She says she felt like she was stranded in Africa with a colicky baby the way Sugar cried all the time and she couldn't take it anymore. Except that she was out of the game and had been away from Sugar for a week when she made the comment, not to mention that she spent half of her time on the show in a different tribe than Sugar. Probst points that out, and says that wasn't a heat of the moment comment; it was a conscious decision to make a rehearsed comment about the loss of someone's father. Corinne says she was very angry and wanted to "go for the jugular." Well, fantastic. You made Sugar kind of upset at the expense of millions of viewers liking you and who knows what kind of opportunities you'll miss down the road when you're remembered for this. Good luck getting a job. Hope it was worth it!
Probst again tries to help Corinne out and asks her if what we saw on TV was the real her. She says that in real life, she wouldn't have had to spend so much time with people she didn't like. Since she was forced to do so on this show, she was "pushed" to act the way she did, so yes, what we saw on the show is the real Corinne. Which is why it's a good thing that, in real life, we don't have to spend time around people we don't like and we can all walk in the other direction should we happen to see Corinne on the street. The audience starts booing, and Sugar encourages them and thanks them for their support. Probst says Corinne is probably enjoying the boos, and she claims that she is and asks the audience to keep them coming. I would have laughed my ass off if this was met by a resounding silence, but no. More boos. Keep trying to play up to that audience, Corinne. The fact is, Sugar is an actress and a pretty successful one, so she has charisma and knows how to play up to the camera and win an audience over. You do not. She will win every time. You're out of your element. Go away.
Probst turns to Marcus and asks him why he thinks viewers liked Sugar so much but the people she played with did not. Marcus says people only see a tiny fraction of what goes on during this show, and people express their anger in different ways. And the way Sugar expressed her emotions rubbed people the wrong way. That might not of come across on camera but "it's kind of what we had to deal with," Marcus says. Weren't you on a tribe with her for, like, nine days? Shut up, Marcus.
Probst turns back to Corinne and has officially given her way too much attention. Apparently, she had a problem with how she was edited on this show in that she thinks she's even worse than what we saw at home. Corinne says she felt like she was invisible for the first half of the show, despite the fact that she was a super bitch for the entire time she was out there. Yes, that must sting a bit when you're trying so hard to be endearingly hateful. She says she loved Randy's "edit," which pisses Probst off because it makes her sound too media-savvy, as if the people cast for this show don't live in Los Angeles and aren't all trying to be on TV all the time anyway. Probst again gives Corinne an out to try to come off like not such a beast, asking if her friends and family agreed with how she was portrayed on the show. She just says that she has a dry sense of humor and is sarcastic, so some things she said that may have sounded mean were just jokes. Why can't they be both? And shouldn't they be funny to qualify as jokes? Probst recommends that she not look into a stand-up comedy career, which is unfortunate for Corinne as it's one of the few careers whose doors are still open to her.
With that, Probst turns to Randy and kicks off the Randy montage. Randy insults people, those people tell the camera how much they hate him. Probst notes that the audience cheers for Randy while they booed Corinne. Well, that's probably because Randy is a man and Corinne is a woman. It might also be because Randy's older and sadder and has a lovable curmudgeonly vibe to him, while Corinne is scary in her immaturity and lack of empathy for her fellow humans. But I've decided it's because Randy reminds us all of our weird antisocial uncle who never makes it out of his cabin in the woods for family holidays, while Corinne reminds us all of the heinous bitch we stayed away from in gym class. Anyway, Randy has decided that he doesn't feel much like talking today, so he answers Probst's questions with as few words as possible. It's funny to watch him make Probst struggle. Randy says he's exactly how he was shown on TV. Probst asks him if he's always been like that, and Randy says he used to be fun, happy, likable, and even have girlfriends. The audience laughs, but Probst has to point out this isn't actually funny, since Randy isn't joking. "I haven't told a joke this entire season," Randy says, trying his hardest to stay deadpan. Probst says he wants to get underneath Randy's "veneer." Does he mean the white chiclets posing as teeth in Randy's mouth, or does he mean he wants to crack Randy's hard outer shell and find the lovable, yet hurt, man underneath? Either way, it's not going to happen, as Randy empathically states. He says you're either born with the ability to like him or you aren't. Everyone laughs, including Sugar, so maybe time has made her not hate him so much? I'll bet he still hates her just as much as he did when he left Gabon, though.
Probst asks Randy about his dog, his best and only friend for the last fifteen years. Except the dog's been dead for five years, so I don't think those five years really count. "He never cheated on me, never lied to me, never cried every day. He was awesome," Randy says. People are still laughing even though that's not funny. Probst points out that Randy had the second-highest IQ of all the contestants on their pre-show psych tests. Marcus, of course, had the highest IQ, which Probst says was "off the charts." This only tells me that this season's contestants had extremely low IQs, if Marcus's was the highest. I know he's a PHYSICIAN and all, but he really doesn't strike me as particularly intelligent. Perhaps if he spoke out of his mouth instead of his ass? I also demand to know who got the lowest score, but Probst won't say. He just says that he was surprised because Randy comes across as a "country guy" who "doesn't really know what's what." Uh ... how so? He never came across like that to me. He always struck me as intelligent (although not as intelligent as he thought he was) and self-aware. Randy's only explanation for the IQ test result is that the test "must be flawed," considering there's a whole bunch of "Einsteins" who did better than him in the game. Heh.
Probst continues to list off Randy's assets, including: he's a commercial pilot (Randy: "used to be"), competed in the Ironman triathlon ("used to"), ran marathons ("used to"), and has an engineering degree from Vanderbilt ("I cheated"). Too bad Randy had to go off and be all racist and horrible, or I would have liked him so much more this season. Best of all, since he doesn't have any real friends or family to bring to the reunion show, he gave his six tickets to random strangers he's never met who are Survivor fans. We get a shot of them in the audience with the text "Randy's 'Friends'," which cracked me up. As did the people sitting behind Randy's "Friends" who made sure to point out that they were not Randy's "Friends," so horrified were they at the prospect of being mistaken with someone with even the most tenuous of connections to Randy. I have to admit, though, that I was a bit disappointed to see six weirdos instead of one adorable puppy in Randy's section. Didn't he say he was going to get a new dog? Perhaps he tried, only for the local shelter's entire canine population to euthanize themselves, preferring death over Randy. Lastly, Probst says that Randy applied to be on this show fifteen times (really? You don't get the hint that they don't want you after the first five times? Although I guess you shouldn't, since they ended up casting him after all) and asks if it was worth the wait. Randy says they should have waited to cast him on Season 22, when he'd be funnier and meaner. Probst thanks Randy for being one of the most despicable and likable people the show has ever had, and you can tell that Probst loves Randy but has no concept of him whatsoever. And that's all we'll hear from Randy, which is too bad because I want to know if he ever hooked up with that Gabonese woman from the village reward. I have a feeling she gave him her number, but when he called it he found out that she intentionally gave him the wrong phone number just to get him off her back. I have another feeling that this has happened to Randy many times before.
Probst claims that Charlie is "nice through and through," yet was friends with the horrible Randy and Corinne (don't forget Marcus! He's an asshole, too). Charlie says he's friends with everybody here, unless Corinne or Marcus are around, in which case he gives whoever's on their shit list the silent treatment. Charlie sucks. He isn't nice. He's just desperate for friends and will take anyone he can get. He was unpopular in high school and is thrilled at the chance to finally be a part of the Cool Kids Club ten years after the fact, when everyone else has gotten over it. He claims that both Randy and Corinne have emotional walls put up but there's a big heart behind them. I believe this might be true of Randy, but that that heart was broken too long ago to be fixed now. As for Corinne, behind her emotional wall you'll find a lump of black coal.
We come back from break to a montage of Crystal's greatest moments. First up, she begins this season by proudly telling us that she's an Olympic gold medalist. Then she sucks out loud at everything but tries to defend herself by saying she just wasn't participating as much as she normally does. It ends with her spectacular non-dunk. They could have played that montage over and over again every Thursday instead of the actual show and I think it would have been better. In fact, I don't see why we can't have a spin-off where Crystal tries to play a different sport each week and fails every time. It never gets old! Crystal laughs, and Probst says the question he got the most, from all those people on the street who apparently run up to him and ask questions about this show, is "Did Crystal really win an Olympic gold medal?" Crystal brought her gold medal to the taping to prove it and holds it up to the camera, but I don't know if that helps her or hurts her. At this point, I might have said that I wasn't an Olympic gold medalist at all just to save face. Then we see a picture of her in the Olympics, towering over the rest of her relay team.
Now that Crystal's Olympic authenticity has been established, Probst's question is "what happened? You couldn't do anything out there!" Crystal says she can run around a circle, but she can't run up hills or swim. "I am not a fish. I'm a runner, a horse, a gazelle!" she says. Gazelles can run up hills, though. Horses, too. Hell, I've seen fish that could flop their way up a hill faster than Crystal did. Crystal says one of her gold medalist friends called her every week to tell her how much she sucked in challenges during the show. That's hilarious. The shame! Probst asks about the "people on the street" and if they're more forgiving than her Olympian friend. Damn right they are! Crystal is over a foot taller than me -- I wouldn't go up to her and talk shit. Although if I did, I'm pretty sure I could out-run her. She says people who came up to her mostly cheered for the way she told everyone off and didn't have much to say about her athletic non-prowess, which was a relief.
We're starting to run low on time, so Probst suddenly turns to Dan and asks him if he was surprised to see what people said about him behind his back, since he's so sensitive. Dan has a terrible haircut, and for some reason, they're shooting him from a camera that's in front of the fire, so he's all wavy, too. Way to suck at staging, crew. Don't they do this twice a year? Why haven't they gotten it right yet? Dan says it's important to remember who you are and be confident. Unless you're Corinne, in which case, you should do and say the opposite of what you think. This gets a round of applause from the audience, so I hope that makes Dan feel good. It's not his fault he got stuck on a tribe with Corinne and Marcus and they said all that mean stuff about him. And he can take heart in the fact that their decision to vote him out and keep Susie in bit them in the ass so hard.
Probst turns to Ken, who has way too much gel in his hair. He wants to know about Ken's gaming skills, and Ken says he played Super Smash Brothers Melee tournaments all around the world. Ha! Take that, Ace who thinks he's the only cast member who's ever been on a plane. Actually, Crystal's probably done a fair amount of traveling because of her athletic career, too. We see some footage of Ken winning a tournament, and he says he's won over $50,000 in his career. Meanwhile, the entire time he talks, he's not looking at Probst or into the camera, so Probst feels the need to interrupt and point that out, as if Ken should be all experienced at talking to a live audience on a live television show. Please, Probst. They wouldn't even let you host this thing for the first few seasons, so don't go around knocking people who are new at this and might have some kind of autism spectrum disorder. Probst asks Ken about the connection between video games and the game of Survivor, and Ken says he was into mind games as a video gamer, and he tried to do that on the show and manipulate people into doing what he wanted. Sugar makes a fake pouty face at this, as if she wasn't doing the exact same thing the entire time she was out there (and doing it better). Ken says his downfall was that he got too cocky and he now realizes that people are not chess pieces that he can control. And he's stopped looking at Probst and is staring at his shoes again.
Finally, we have to hear about Ken's love life. He says he's talked to some girls and girls seem to be finding him attractive for the first time in his life, but he wants a girl who likes him for him and not because he's on TV. No, Ken, no! You have the rest of your life to meet girls who like you for you! Go for the shallow bitches while you can! Meanwhile, Probst just sits there with no concept of finding a woman who likes him for him and not because he's Jeff Probst, Emmy-winning host of Survivor (coughJuliecough).
Probst turns to Michelle and asks if she and Ken can resume their non-relationship from the first episode of the season. He calls her beautiful, which Michelle is very pleased with. Probst says she ate a termite for Ken, and she takes that and runs with it, saying that she now has nightmares that a giant termite wearing a Fang buff (although Michelle is too cool to know what those are called and needs help with the lingo) is trying to eat her. Probst recommends that Ken stay single for a while. Ken agrees. Poor Michelle. She shouldn't pursue a career in stand-up either. And that's all we'll hear from her, which is kind of a shame because I'd like to know if she learned anything about herself and being more pleasant to people as a result of being voted out because she was so horrible to be around.
Probst asks Ace about his inconsistent accent, and tries to put on an accent of his own. Ouch. Was that supposed to be English? Probst fails at accents worse than Crystal fails at athletics and Marcus fails at humility. Ace tries to put on an accent of his own and says he's from Mississippi, then puts his fake English accent back on and says his accent is real. Both of his parents are English and he lived there for eight years. Yeah, so what? My dad's English, and I don't go around like "bloody 'ell guvnor cheerio plum pudding." I could, but I don't, because then everyone would think I was lame. And I would think I was lame, too. The reason why everyone thinks Ace's accent is fake isn't that he's American but sounds English and the only reference point we have for that is Madonna and her fake accent, it's that the accent comes and goes. Mostly goes. And that's because Ace exaggerated it in the beginning to look charming and cultured and rich and impressive and then it faded to whatever his real accent is as the days went by and he got too tired and hungry to keep faking it. Ace says he should have "faked" an American accent when speaking to his fellow contestants and kept his "real" English accent for the confessionals. I think that's kind of what he ended up doing in the end unintentionally. When he was talking to people around camp and too hot, tired, and hungry to concentrate on the fake English accent all the time, he dropped it. When he was in an interview and better able to concentrate, the fake accent came back.
Now Probst has to thank Madame Pascaline Mferri Bongo Ondimba and some other Gabonese officials who made filming the show in Gabon possible and hopefully didn't tack on too many fake tariffs and taxes to squeeze as much money out of the rich Americans as possible. And if the "Bongo" in Pascaline's name sounds familiar to you, it's because she's the daughter of Gabon's President Bongo, who is currently the longest-serving "elected" leader in the world. President Bongo has ruled Gabon since 1967, and while the bottom thirty percent of the people he's supposed to serve scrape by on less than a dollar a day, he's one of the richest men in the world. And I'm sure Survivor has made him even richer. Way to sponsor that, CBS. The people of Gabon thank you and clutch the three cents of charity T-shirt proceeds close to their hearts. Anyway, I'm sure Pascaline got her government position based solely on her experience and ability.
Back from commercial, it's time to find out who won the Product Placement Player of the Season $100,000 prize, as voted on by the viewers, the majority of whom are idiots. See prize winners James and James for proof of that. This year is no different, as the top three are Matty, Sugar, and Bob. Where's Crystal? Or Ken? At least he played the game, unlike Matty! I am happy to see that Marcus didn't make it, though. Sugar looks very nervous here, because apparently this, and not the million dollars, was the prize she was hoping to get. Probst says Matty came in third, so it's between Sugar and Bob. Probst points out that the audience seems to like Sugar more than her fellow contestants did, but ... they liked Bob better. He wins another $100,000 and looks positively gobsmacked about it. Probst yells at him for having no reaction to this and asks him if it's a compliment that he not only wins the game, but is also so popular that people at home want him to have even more money. Except that when the voting happened, he hadn't won the game and still didn't seem to have much of a chance to make the Final Three. Probst sits to Bob and answers for him obnoxiously while Bob just nods along with his mouth hanging open. Sorry we can't all be experienced Emmy-winning hosts like you, Probst.
Probst turns to Matty and asks him about his fiancée and the wedding plans. We get a shot of Matty's fiancée in the audience, and Matty says they're still engaged and have set a wedding date. And apparently he's too busy planning it to care what he wears on TV, because what's the deal with the yellow T-shirt? He says the game might not have gone how he wanted it to, but he was able to succeed in committing to his girlfriend and that's more important. He also bought her a real ring to replace the one he made for her in Gabon.
Let's talk to Paloma for three seconds. She says this show made her a better, stronger person. Probst turns to Kelly and asks her what she got from the show. Kelly says she was surprised not to be able to get along with everyone and to be surrounded by people she didn't like and who didn't like her and who thought she was the least valuable member of their tribe. She says she's grown and appreciates things a lot more. Hopefully one of those things is a dictionary. But I have hope for Kelly. Unlike Corinne, she seems to have decided to learn something from her time on the show.
Probst asks GC what the deal was with him disappearing right before the challenge, calling GC "brother," because Probst is down like that. GC: "I was looking for a Popeye's or something out there." I can't decide if that's hilarious or just reconfirming all the racial stereotypes in Randy's mind. He says he was starving and looking for some food. Whatever, quitter. Poor, underused Jacquie. She claims that despite her short time on the show, it was the best experience of her life and she loved the opportunity to detox from technology and the modern world. And then Gillian the good sport claims that after applying for this show for years and years -- more than anyone else who was on this season -- her brief time on the show was still worth it.
After another commercial break, we get a preview of season, which will take place in Tochcnshhtins in the Brazilian highlands. There's lots of shots of animals and Probst promises us that the terrain will be harsh and unforgiving, just like he does every season, and then he says we can see Bob tomorrow on The Early Show, which Bob looks absolutely terrified about. Probst plugs his charity and says good-night to another season, as do I. See you all year!
Happy holidays! You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com to tell her your New Year's resolution.
Click here to read recaps of this past season of Survivor, and here to see photos of this season's cast.