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This was a doozy of an episode! Fang wants a merge, but there's a reward challenge first, where they see that Marcus was voted out. Corinne and Charlie are devastated, while Matty loves it. Fang wins another reward (although Randy does everything he can to destroy their chances) and go to a Gabonese village for food, baths, clothes, and dancing, and Randy deludes himself into thinking one of the villagers is attracted to him. They also send Bob to Exile Island, where he finds all the clues but can't find the idol, as Sugar already has it. So he fashions a pretty amazing fake one of his own, hoping it will somehow come in handy.
Then it's time for the immunity challenge, where the contestants are finally merged into one tribe and told that this challenge will be for individual immunity. It's a typical start a fire, burn a rope challenge, and only Susie and Sugar manage to start fires. Hilariously, Susie wins immunity. Susie is a challenge monster! Eat that, Corinne! The merged tribe will live at the cursed Fang camp, where they immediately set about plotting. It becomes clear that Sugar is the crucial swing vote, and she wants Randy gone more than anything. But the Kotas, led by Randy, want Crystal out, while the Fangs, led by Ken, want Charlie gone (because Ken hates Charlie for blowing up his hidden idol spot last week). Corinne thinks she can convince Sugar to vote with her by pretending to be nice for ten minutes, and Sugar plays along. As they leave for Tribal Council, though, she admits that she doesn't trust anyone and doesn't know who to vote for.
And then there's Tribal Council. Crystal demands to know from Randy why he hates her so much, and he says what I've suspected for some time now: he's a racist prick. He didn't like it when Crystal and GC (her "boy," as Randy calls him), were in charge of Fang because they ran it "like a gang." Crystal listens and doesn't bother to respond, because she doesn't have to. Randy is more than capable of digging his own grave with his own words. With that, the votes are cast and Sugar agonizes before siding with the Fangs, making Charlie is the newest member of the jury. Which is fine with him because it brings him that much closer to "my Marcus!"
See how much this cast has changed since they started out. Then come back on Wednesday for the full detailed recap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!For the previously on segment, Probst continues to hate on Fang. We did get to see a replay of Randy's "wah wah wah" moment, which I always enjoy, and they didn't cut as soon as he stopped this time, so we get to see more of his teammates' reactions. Susie turns to Randy and looks disgusted. Good for you, Susie! The rest of the tribe seems to be pretending they aren't there except for Bob, who really does think he's somewhere else. Why does Probst insist on calling the tribes "the red tribe" and "the yellow tribe?" If you don't want them to have stupid quasi-native tribe names, then don't name them that. Oh, and there goes Marcus. Ha ha!
The newly Marcus-less Kota returns to camp. Susie and Crystal hug and then go to Ken, who's trying to re-start the fire. Ken says "the Crystal in [him] came out" at Tribal Council, as he gave Marcus an earful of attitude. Traditionally, only Crystal is usually brave/foolish enough to do that. Susie says she's "proud" of the man Ken has become since she last was on a tribe with him, saying it's great that he's coming out of his shell. Great for Susie, that is. The more everyone else comes out of his shell and has public outbursts, the further under the radar she can fly. Standing tall, Ken tells us that he's very happy not to have gone home. He says his days of flying under the radar are over, and now it's time that he stood up for himself. He then takes credit for both Ace and Marcus's blindsides, when Marcus's blindside was all about Crystal and Susie. I don't think I'm going to like this new alpha Ken. Bob joins the crew around the fire and makes everything awkward. Ken tells us that Bob is the to go, sounding more and more like Marcus and Ace with every passing word. Bob shows that he has been paying some attention to this game and says he assumes he'll be voted out if they lose another challenge. No one answers him, and the question really shouldn't have been asked. Bob tells us that he needs a merge, or else "I'm history. Even though I teach science. Um ... that was a little joke." Was it ever! Bob? More like LOL!
After the credits, we head back to Fang, who has finally run out of rice. Ha ha ha! The people chiefly responsible for the lack of rice -- Crystal and Ken -- are over at Kamp Kota with an herb garden and coffee while the people who won all those food rewards --Charlie, Corinne, and Randy -- starve. That's so unfair. Not only that, but Matty tells us that they can't make fire anymore for some reason. He really wants a merge. He and Charlie get the latest treemail, and everyone hopes it tells them they're going to merge. Randy notes that the treemail comes with a flag, and hopes it's the new tribe flag, even though it's red. The treemail says nothing about a merge, but indicates that the Reward Challenge will be golf-related and the reward will be the standard trip to a cultural village where the natives dress up and put on a show and we're supposed to think that's how they live all the time when in reality they probably own jeans and live in homes with electricity and TVs and stuff. The treemail also includes a giant slingshot with an over-sized golf ball to practice with. And just to make what's about to come even more awesome, Corinne tells us she was hoping for a merge so she could see Marcus again and that she doesn't care who went home from Kota last night as long as her alliance with Charlie and Marcus is still intact.
And so, Probst calls the tribes in. He's sure to address Fang the Corinne way, with the long A, as he reveals that Marcus went home last night. Corinne and Sugar put their hands on their mouths, and Corinne lets out a muffled "oh my god." Behind the girls stands Matty, who looks pretty freaking thrilled. Charlie closes his eyes in deep pain and tries to kill himself with his mind. As Kota takes its mat, Matty winks at Ken several times. Probst is loving every second of this, and asks Corinne how she feels about Marcus leaving, pointing out that she looks miserable. Corinne doesn't know how to shut up, so she says "I'm pissed, yeah. He didn't deserve to leave the game." Ken sees right through Corinne's bullshit and asks who does deserve to leave, then. "It's a game. We all deserve it," Susie says, one step closer to having her face stabbed off. Charlie says that he's sad to see Marcus go since he didn't complain, unlike a lot of other people. Ken interrupts him to ask, again, why Marcus didn't deserve to go. "He earned his right to be here longer," Corinne says. Good god, do those Onion alliance people have a ridiculous sense of entitlement or what? I mean, really? Why doesn't Corinne just be honest and say she's pissed because she thought she had this game in the bag and now she doesn't? Especially now that Ken probably wants her ass gone ASAP, the way he's glaring at her. By the way, the whole time Corinne was shooting her mouth off about Marcus the Magnificent, Matty kept that awesome shit-eating grin on his face. That was a great.
Probst ends the conversation to explain today's challenge. It's golf except that instead of clubs, the teams are using slingshots. There are three holes total, and the first tribe to win two of them wins the reward, which is a trip to a Gabonese village to watch dancing and eat and sleep. And they get to send someone from the losing tribe to Exile "Island." With that, Fang sits Corinne out for the challenge. Funny how Corinne sits out most challenges, and yet, somehow, she apparently "deserves" to be there, as according to the Corinne Entitlement Criteria (CEC), which is based on one's usefulness at giving Corinne what she wants.
Kota goes first, with Bob using his physics skillz to shoot the ball a decent distance into what looks like a bunch of mushrooms or small rock formations. Matty shoots for Fang, and the ball lands in a for-decorative-purposes-only hazard. Kota's second shot gets pretty close to the hole, thanks to a good bounce. Fang's shot goes in the wrong direction but somehow ends up pretty close to the hole as well. Randy takes Fang's third shot, and it's very short and doesn't help Fang much at all. You suck, Randy. Ken takes the shot for Kota, and he puts it in the hole. Hooray! Crystal is so happy to actually not suck at something, and hugs Ken while he does a little geek accomplishment dance.
For the hole, Kota and Fang's drives are both pretty good. Fang's second shot gets really close to the hole, making it an easy putt. Kota's shot lands close, but not as close as Fang's. Ken takes the third shot for Kota, but does not make it in the hole. That means Matty's got an easy third shot for the win, but hesitates before taking it, yelling at Charlie to stand a certain way. Charlie protests, but Matty snaps at him and Charlie relents. Despite the tense moment, Matty makes it in the hole, tying the game up and giving Charlie a reason to hug him. By the way, I love how Sugar has spent this entire game standing near her team, but doing absolutely nothing. Such participation!
So now it's time for the third and final hole. Both teams drive well, and Fang's second shot gets a nice roll close to the hole. Kota's second shot gets close to the hole, but not close enough to almost guarantee they'll make the third shot. Kota takes the third shot, and Ken misses the hole by inches, shooting over it so that the ball rolls down a hill, making it a difficult fourth shot. Matty misses the hole as well, but he misses short, so now Fang's ball is basically touching the hole, giving them an easy fourth shot. Kota takes its fourth shot, and it misses. Charlie's thrilled and can almost taste the Gabonese village food. But then Fang lines up to take its shot and Randy decides he's the boss, even though Matty's the one taking the shot. He tells Charlie to extend his arms as far forward as possible so that Matty can basically drop the ball into the hole. He starts telling Matty what to do, earning him a "SHHHH!" from Matty. Chastened, Randy adds a "please" onto his orders. "How can they blow it?" Probst asks. Matty tells them to put their arms down and reset, and Randy decides that he should be the one to take this last shot. Matty refuses with a "simmer down, Randy." "Simmer down?" That's amazing. Matty is my third grade teacher, except without the weirdly tanned skin and beehive hair-don't. Randy orders Matty to drop the ball in the hole. Matty shushes him again. Charlie decides to play peacemaker (even though the perfect person to do so would be Sugar, as she's not doing anything else. But she doesn't want to break her streak, so she remains inactive. I think that was my favorite thing about this challenge, by the way) and says he wants to win this reward happy and calm. But Randy keeps nagging Matty, who's getting really fed up. Although Matty expresses his frustration by laughing maniacally, because he's either cool or insane. And with that, I was expecting Fang to totally blow it, but they don't. Matty kind of waits until Randy isn't paying attention and lightly shoots the ball into the hole. "This should be a fun afternoon!" Probst says, possibly sarcastically. Fang celebrates, except Randy is still really angry and kicks the slingshot. Even Corinne is being more pleasant than Randy, as we see her at the beginning of the course, jumping up and down and forgetting about Marcus. Matty tries to hug Randy, and Sugar even puts in a "why are you mad?" Randy throws Matty off him in order to explain why the way Matty took the shot was wrong, even though IT WENT IN THE HOLE and WON THEM THE REWARD. "Randy, whatever. We won. Chill out!" Sugar says. She's just glad she isn't going to Exile. This would have been an excellent time for Crystal to hit Randy back with a "wah wah wah," but she doesn't. I hope she's saving it for the perfect moment.
And who is going to Exile? Corinne wants to send Bob. Probst asks why, and Corinne says she wants him to find the hidden idol. Way to make your alliances obvious, Corinne. Meanwhile, I'm sure Sugar and Matty were more than happy to go along with the rest of their tribe's decision to send Bob since they know there's nothing out there for Bob to find, and Sugar's probably a little annoyed that Corinne apparently hasn't even entertained the thought that she could have found it during one of her 1,000 trips to Exile. We get a shot of Sugar looking pretty satisfied with herself, and then she reminds us that Bob isn't going to find that idol, since she already has it. Probst sends the tribes away, and Matty says that was the tensest challenge he's experienced thus far. "I felt like I was gonna have like four heart attacks," he says. And yet, he stayed remarkably chill for the most part. I admire that. I want to be more like Matty. Especially since I have terrible feeling that I would have acted more like Randy. As for Randy, he tells us that he doesn't know "what got into" Matty, but "what he pulled was ugly." Scratch that -- I wouldn't have acted like Randy. I know I have at least a modicum of self-awareness.
After the commercial, the Fang tribe members make their way into the Gabonese village, where they are welcomed by the natives wearing their ceremonial bright red lycra tank tops. I wonder: if Kota had won, they'd be wearing yellow instead? Matty says that he's the only person who's been trapped on the Fang tribe for this entire game, so it felt especially good to finally win a reward. The Fangs take a seat and are hit with wet leaves. Or as Corinne says, "all we're thinking is food. But instead, they start beating us with leaves that are covered in water and like stripping our clothes off of us." Yeah, probably because you guys freaking stink and it's offensive to everyone else. Either that, or (I hope) those leaves are poison ivy. P.S. I feel really sorry for whoever got stuck washing Randy. We then see Corinne sitting on a log wearing a funky new dress. Once the Fangians aren't offensively smelly and dirty, they're lead to another part of the village, and Corinne makes a new friend: a small child who obviously has bad taste in friends. Even Corinne has to admit that she's the last person anyone would expect to pal around with a two-year-old. Wrong! That would be Randy. Even when Randy was himself two years old, he hated two-year-olds.
There's a feast laid out for the Fangians, and now it's time for Matty to pull a Corinne and talk too much. "I was stoked when I saw Marcus gone," he says. He twists that to say he was happy because it gave them a better chance to win this reward, but Corinne is not amused. Charlie says Ace, Dan, and Marcus -- three "power players" -- just exited the game one after another. Okay ... how was Ace or Dan a power player? Or Marcus, really? A real power player would still be in this game. And now it's time for Charlie's reaction to Marcus's departure, and I can't wait. He says seeing Marcus gone was the lowest moment for him since the game started, as he and Marcus have been "playing together" both as alliance mates and "really good friends" from the beginning. Friends, really? More like a straight guy using a gay guy's obvious crush on him to further his position in the game. There's a difference. "And now with him gone, it's like, ugh, who do we turn to?" Charlie wonders. How about your own damn self for a change? "He really did a lot of thinking for us," Charlie concludes. Well, he's gone now, so that's the kind of thinking that you don't need.
And now it's time for the dancing! Sugar is almost immediately pulled up to join them, which I wouldn't be thrilled about if I were her. That could cause indigestion. The rest of Fang is pulled up in short order, and Randy tells us that he thinks one of the dancers had a crush on him. "I haven't had a girl come onto me in about twenty years, but I think one of 'em kinda liked me," Randy says, giving the mail-order bride route some serious thought. Randy's all giddy, but I can't tell if it's because drinks were served with the food or he's that tickled at the thought of a woman paying attention to him. Randy says that he's a terrible dancer and he was sore and full of food, but he danced with his new lady friend anyway. And looked really creepy while doing it. Matty's dancing, too, and he looks like an idiot. But a happy idiot. Matty says he knows he'll be the person voted out, but right now he's enjoying this break from the game. Why do I find myself liking Matty more and more?
The morning, we head over to Kamp Kota, where Ken is trying to kayak. But his kayak gets stuck in some driftwood and/or weeds and he ends up paddling in circles. I think we're seeing why Fang lost all those challenges when Ken was on that tribe. He eventually figures out how to get free, and tells us that he's not an outdoorsy kind of guy, because videogames are not outdoors. With that, he catches three fish and returns to the camp, where Crystal and Susie are happy to see dinner. Adorable Ken tells us that with Bob gone, he's the only man at camp, and he's there with two "very beautiful" women. Full of confidence, Ken says if someone wants to take him out, he'll take them out first. "I know for a fact that I can win this game," he says. That's what Marcus thought, too.
Bob arrives at Exile (it took him all day and night to get there? Damn) and chooses the clue route, of couse. The map actually has the locations of all the clues on it. Is that new? I don't understand that map. Does it get more detailed every round? Bob tells us that he knows he needs to find the idol. He seems to have no trouble finding the clues, but when it comes time to find the idol, of course, he has trouble. He finds the area where it used to be and even the nail it was hanging on, but it doesn't register with him that nails don't normally grow out of trees and this is obviously the place where the idol used to be before Sugar got it. Duh, Bob. Instead, he looks and looks until he finally gives up, saying he's not sure if Sugar got it first or he just can't find it. He says he has to do something, so he sets about crafting a fake idol, because those always work out so well. Because there are beads lying around Exile "Island" for some reason, he's able to fashion something quite passable, using tree resin to glue them onto a skull-shaped rock. He even somehow gets some string and makes it into a necklace. It's pretty convincing, but where did he get all that craft stuff? I'm guessing he stole those beads from the Clue and Comfort station, which shouldn't be allowed. Bob wraps the fake idol up in the standard idol wrapping paper and says he's hoping this fake idol will fool someone somehow. Honestly, it's so convincing that they should either hire Bob to make these things season or turn his fake idol into real immunity, like what happened to Pinocchio.
Fang is back at camp, and Matty does his now-standard treemail scream that scares a really cool black-and-blue-striped bird out of a tree. The clue says they'll have to "be the best fire-starter" to win the Immunity Challenge. Charlie says that sounds like another individual challenge, which worries Sugar since it means she won't be able to stand around doing nothing again. "Shush up!" Matty says, such a librarian this week with the shushing. Matty says Ken, Crystal, and Susie can't start fires, and Randy adds that Crystal couldn't start a fire if you gave her gasoline and matches. True, though. Crystal supposedly won an Olympic gold medal for running and she can't even do that. She didn't win any medals for fire starting. Randy tells us that that he doesn't know if this will be a team challenge or individual, or when the merge will happen, but when he does see Crystal again, he'll puke. What? Why Crystal specifically? What's his problem with her? Randy calls Crystal "Sasquatch" in front of the tribe, and Charlie asks for clarification as to who he's referring to. "Sasquatch is Bigfoot, which is Crystal. Which is also T. Rex," Randy says, and there is much giggling coming from Corinne. Meanwhile, how did Charlie not know who Randy was talking about? Was he trying to shame Randy into not criticizing Crystal in front of her ex-tribe and current alliance mates by calling him out, only for it to backfire due to Randy's obliviousness? Randy tells us that he's hated Crystal since the beginning of the game. "I still hold a major grudge," he says. What, Randy has a hard time letting go of slights against him, be they real or imagined? Shocker.
The tribes arrive, with Fang decked out in their new clothes just to rub it in. Like Randy really needs to wear his new sheet thing as a headdress? No! He's doing it in the hopes that it'll make Crystal cry. Probst takes the immunity idol back and puts it away to introduce the new individual immunity necklace. Guess what? It's time for the merge! Everyone is happy to drop their buffs, most especially Bob. Matty and Ken embrace, and Ken whispers "I've missed you so much." Wow. With all the attention Marcus and Charlie got, we all missed the Matty/Ken connection. Probst throws the buffs to Matty, the only remaining jock man capable of catching things, and Ken tries to assert his dominance with an interception but Matty gets the bag and passes them out. Everyone does the new buff sniff test and Bob gets his new blue buff bowtie on. Blue? I thought they'd be orange. Because red and yellow make orange, right? But I guess this year it's all about primary colors.
Tribe merged, Probst explains the challenge. Each player is given steel, flint, and a box of fire fuel. The goal is to make a fire high enough to burn through a rope, and the first person to do so wins immunity. At this non-surprise announcement, Bob makes an interesting gesture with his hand. I think he's pumping his fist, but the camera cuts him off about the waist so it kinda looks like he's jacking it. Between this and his little air-hump when he saw that herb garden reward, Bob is a man of suggestive movements. Must be interesting being in his physics class. Also, when all the contestants are behind their individual fire-making stations they look like Flintstones-era deejays. Unfortunately, the players don't get to make their fires in silence, as Probst natters on about fire representing life and the ability to make it signifying how much the contestants have learned out here while they work. Bob works frantically, but amazingly enough, it's Susie who gets a fire started first, much to Probst's annoyance. Looking cool as a cucumber, Susie patiently adds bigger pieces of wood to her fire. And the person to start a fire is ... Sugar. HA! I love it. You know she's never started a fire out here before this moment. Meanwhile, Matty cuts himself on the finger. Fail! "Somebody else better get in this challenge," Probst whines, hating to see his precious men being shown up by these ladies. Matty is disgusted as both Sugar and Susie's fires grow and their ropes start to burn. Yes, this is awesome. Susie seems to have the winning edge over Sugar, and I believe it's because she takes the time to nurture and talk her to her fire and tell it where to burn. The rest of the contestants can only watch and hopefully think about all the things they might have said about how Susie and Sugar wouldn't be able to start a fire, no matter what.
And then, Susie wins! HA!!!! HA!!!! I love it! No one else was even close! All that work Susie did around camp actually paid off! Susie is a CHALLENGE MONSTER! Forget you, Marcus! Crystal gives Susie a hug, and Sugar makes a fake pouting face. Ken claps for Susie as Probst puts the immunity necklace around her neck, and you know he's hating every minute of it. He says they'll all be going back to the Fang camp so that they may be cursed equally, where they'll have to come up with a new tribe name and paint the flag. And they'll have no rice. At all. But what of Bob's herb garden? The contestants leave, and Randy tells us that they've finally merged, but he's determined to see Crystal out of this game tonight because he can't stand her. Either she's going home tonight or he is, he says. Because it's a really good idea to pit yourself against someone who has control of the majority of votes.
The new tribe heads back to Camp Fang. Sure enough, Bob's herb garden is there waiting for them! As is the rest of Kota's food supply, the better for Ken and Crystal to waste at everyone else's expense with. Why couldn't they have stayed at Kamp Kota instead? There appeared to be a much better stocked lake there. Matty says everyone was happy to see the new food and old tribe mates, but soon enough, the game started again. Randy and Charlie meet in the woods. Charlie asks Randy if he knows anything, and Randy starts in with wanting Crystal gone. Charlie says if they get Sugar's vote, they'll be all set. He tells us that there are two sides in the new tribe with four solid members each. "And then there's Sugar," he says, and the editors cut to a shot of Sugar singing "hallelujah!" to herself. Brilliant. Charlie thinks Sugar has ties to both sides as well as a different strategy than anyone else. That's because your tribe sent her to Exile "Island" over and over and over again. Do you really think she'll want to align with you guys after that?
Sugar heads out with Corinne, and guess what? She hates Randy. A lot. She doesn't want to live with him for a second longer than she has to. Meanwhile, she does know that Corinne is in a tight alliance with Randy, does she not? What could saying how much she wants him gone really accomplish? Corinne says she feels Sugar's pain, but voting Randy out tonight would be shooting themselves in the foot. Um ... it wouldn't be shooting Sugar in the foot. She'll be just fine over on her Fang alliance. Step off the "we" button, Corinne. Charlie walks up to help the arm-twisting, and Sugar again says that she can't live with Randy and "he's going to cause big problems." How does Sugar do it? How does she seem so incredibly stupid and out of it one minute, and then is far and away the smartest person out there the ? She is a mystery. Charlie insists that "we" need Randy at least one more round. Again -- you need Randy. Sugar doesn't. Charlie and Corinne say they'll be happy to get rid of Randy at the vote, and Corinne assures Sugar that she cares about her opinion and making her feel comfortable. Corinne then turns around and tells us that -- horror of horrors -- now that they need Sugar's vote, she has to act like she cares about what Sugar has to say. Sugar seemingly agrees to vote Crystal out , with Charlie promising her it'll be the "Kota Foursome 'til the end." No, Sugar! You're not in the Kota Foursome! "Sugar is so weak and naïve and gullible," Corinne says, noting that she's been a bitch to Sugar for twenty-five days of this game and has been nice to her for one, and that one was enough to win her vote. Um ... does Corinne remember that Ace got voted out? And that Sugar must have made that happen? And he was nice to her for more than one day. "She's such a moron," Corinne assumes. Nothing like saying things on national television that could come back to bite you hard in the ass, huh, Corinne?
Meanwhile, Matty, Ken, Susie, and Crystal are together trying to figure things out. Matty and Susie have spent enough time with Corinne and Charlie to know that they're an unbreakable alliance. Matty also knows that Randy wants Crystal out first. Everyone decides that the Charlie-Corinne bond needs to be broken, and they want Corinne gone first because she's so unpleasant. "Corinne is just hurting herself with her own personality," Susie says. "Oh god, she's horrendous!" Matty agrees; "I can't handle her. She is awful." Susie is so glad that someone else in her alliance has sent enough time with Corinne (a.k.a. more than two minutes) to know what her life was like on the Kota tribe with her, and she and Matty high-five. Man, Corinne must be just horrible if both Matty and Susie, who seem to like pretty chill and laid back people to me, can hate her so much. Ken has not sent any time with Corinne, though, so he has a different idea, saying they should get rid of Charlie first. "He's the brains behind everything," he says. I don't think anyone is the brains behind anything at this point, to be honest. And neither does Ken, as he tells us that he's carrying a Randy-style grudge against Charlie for screwing him over with the immunity idol during the non-merge feast, so he lied to his alliance that Charlie was the Kota mastermind to get rid of him. Dumb move, Ken. People don't like being used for your own personal grudges. Nevertheless, the four agree that Charlie goes , and Ken is very satisfied with himself.
Ken does his geek run off to find Sugar, and tells her his "Charlie is the brains behind Kota" theory. "Really?" Sugar says, appearing totally innocent. Man, she is freaking slick as hell. She's coming off just as dumb and easily-swayed to Ken as she was to Corinne, which means she has to be playing one of them. Or both. But it can't be neither. In fact, Sugar tells us that she seems to be "the lady of the hour!" Everyone's coming up to her and trying to get her vote. She doesn't tell us who she's going with, though.
Plotting over, it's time to think up a new tribe name. Ken comes up with "Nobag," which is "Gabon" backwards. Yes, it is. It also sounds horrible, worse than Erik's little brainstorm of "Dabu" last season. And yet, that's what they go with. As they paint their new flag, Sugar tells us that she doesn't trust Ken now that she knows that he lied to her to get Ace voted out. On the other hand, she doesn't have any allegiance to Randy or Corinne. "I don't trust any of these guys," she concludes; "I have no clue what to do." The new, brightly painted and not as horrifically ugly as past merge flags have been Nobag flag is put up and the contestants head for Tribal Council.
The new tribe arrives, and here comes Marcus, looking like a freshly-washed douche bag. Charlie and Corinne shoot him sad love eyes, and Probst tells them not to speak to the jury. "The game is slowly shifting into their hands," he says, as Marcus looks very self-important. He starts talking to Randy about the reward challenge, asking him why there was so much tension before that last easy shot. Randy says that the shot Matty wanted to try would have probably made it, while the shot Randy wanted Matty to take definitely would have made it in, but no one would "shut up" and let him say that. Charlie says that he just wanted both sides of the argument to calm down in order to communicate effectively.
And then there's this part of the show. Probst says that Randy seems to have left his original Fang tribe mates behind, never to be missed. Before Randy can answer, Crystal, who has been silent in Tribal Councils for too long, has something to say. "Why do you have issues with me?" she asks. "Why?" Randy says. "Why do you have issues with Crystal, yes," Crystal says, her rage forcing her to stop using pronouns. It's third person from here on out, folks! Randy tries to answer, but Crystal tells him to let her finish, just like she let him finish. Randy is confused, pointing out that he hasn't had the chance to start, let alone finish. "What is it that I did to Randy for Randy to be bashing Crystal so much at Kota Kamp?" Randy is more than happy to answer, saying the nine days they spent on a tribe together were a "living hell" for him because of Crystal and her "boy," GC. "Okay," Crystal says, and right there, she knows exactly what Randy's problem is with her and shuts down. Randy then refers to GC as Crystal's "posse," and Sugar buries her face in her hand as Randy says that Crystal and GC "ran the tribe like it was a gang." Except that Crystal and GC never ran the tribe. They didn't even seem to get along when Randy was in Fang with them, as I recall GC telling Crystal to do something during the three hours he was the Fang leader and Crystal not doing it and resenting him for it. But the fact is that Crystal and GC are black, so in Randy's mind, they are aligned and they are gang members. Because Randy is racist, and it's so deeply ingrained that he doesn't see any problem with revealing that wonderful facet of his personality to his tribe mates and millions of viewers worldwide. Or maybe he just saw all the burning wood and thought he was at one of his KKK rallies. And Crystal, who is usually ready, willing, and able to do verbal battle at Tribal Council, just says "okay. All right," perfectly calm. Because she realizes that Randy's hatred of her has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him, and there's no point in arguing with him about it. And he just did more damage to himself and his position in the game with his own words than she could have. Randy asks if Crystal wants more reasons. "If you feel like you have to say some more, we ain't got nothing but time," Crystal says, perfectly happy to let the self-destruction continue. But Randy can't think of anything else, so he just shrugs. Wow. I've never seen anything like that at a Tribal Council before. In fact, Survivor usually tries to hide contestants' racist or homophobic or anti-whatever else sides from the viewers by not showing such footage. That's why none of the anti-Jew comments supposedly good Christian contestants made about Eliza made it to the air during the Vanuatu season.
Of course, Probst doesn't know what to do with any of this, so he just ignores it in favor of stating the obvious that Crystal has been "vocal," and asking her if she regrets that. Crystal says she doesn't. She cries and people call her delusional, but she speaks the truth. Probst turns to Charlie and asks him if Randy and Crystal have cause to be worried about the upcoming vote, since they've been very outspoken tonight. Charlie says people should really think before they speak, especially if they're only talking to get something off their chest for selfish reasons.
Probst addresses Ken and asks him if, now that they're together, opinions about people have changed. Ken takes this opportunity to call out Charlie, saying he didn't know much about Charlie before, but now thinks he's a nice, great guy. Ken, you're trying too hard and I don't like it. Charlie says Ken is a great guy, too. Probst asks Randy if his feelings have changed about anyone, and Randy says that Ken has grown up and changed since the beginning of this game. Uh oh, Ken -- you probably should have used your pull with the alliance to get rid of Randy tonight, because he's onto you.
Probst asks Sugar if it's helped her being on Exile "Island" and therefore not around camp to irritate people. Sugar says she doesn't think she would irritate people if she was around camp more, because she's nice and not hateful like some people coughRandycough. Being away from camp has only been a disadvantage and given her tribemates the opportunity to plot against her. "I have a good idea of who everybody is," Sugar says cryptically. With that, Probst asks Susie if she wants to give her immunity to anyone, and she sure as hell doesn't. Time to vote!
Charmingly, Randy votes for Crystal (writing her initials C.C. on the paper) and snarls "bitch!" I really don't understand why the women aren't lining up outside his house for a piece of that. While others go up to vote, Sugar starts crying. Why? I hope it's not because she's voting with a group that includes a racist creep. Ken votes for Charlie, spelling his name wrong. And Charlie votes for Crystal, saying he's "really mad" at her for taking out "my Marcus." Well hopefully you'll be back with him soon. Or not, as Sugar heads up to vote and stands there sobbing and seemingly undecided.
But she finally does vote, and Probst returns with the urn. No one will be playing her immunity idol today, and Probst reads the votes. The first vote is for Crystal. The second is Randy's vote for "C.C.," and Probst has to ask who cast it and who it's actually for. Ha! I don't think he's had to do that since Season 5. What is it with grumpy, unpleasant white men who vote for black women? Randy is more than happy to own up to the vote and say it's meant for Crystal, and Probst lectures him about the proper way to vote. Crystal gets a third vote, and then a fourth. Things are looking bad, but ... there's a vote for Charlie. He's surprised. A second vote for Charlie. A third vote for Charlie, who puts his face in his hands, knowing exactly what's going on now. And then there's the fourth. There's one vote left. And who did Sugar vote for? Charlie! Fang lives! Corinne is shocked. Ha ha ha! I liked Charlie and I don't want him to go, but it's worth it to see how upset it makes Corinne. She fucking deserves it, and I hope Sugar watched tonight's episode and heard all the stuff Corinne said about her and knew she made the right decision. Marcus is disgusted, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, probably because he knows that life at the Loser's Lodge just got a lot clingier for him. It's still better than spending three days with just Randy, though. Charlie doesn't look too bummed, because now he gets to hang out with his Marcus.
And sadly, this episode is dedicated to Marge Boesch, wife of Season 1's Rudy. She deserves better than an episode with Randy in it.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com, especially if you know where she can get a really nice HDTV for cheap.
Are we psychic? Or not so much? Check out our predictions for this season in the Survivor: Who Will Outwit, Outplay and Outlast? gallery.