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The tribes are called to a meeting on the beach, which they all assume is the merge. There's a feast and everything, and Ken finds a clue to yet another hidden immunity idol, but is unable to grab the clue for himself before Charlie sees it, too. As soon as all the players are aware of the hidden idol, Randy and Marcus lead the charge to dig it up and throw it away, confident that they, in the new Kota Six, won't need such things against the Fang Four.
Too bad there is no merge -- the contestants pick rocks and find themselves reshuffled once again onto two separate tribes. The new Fang consists of Matty, Sugar, Randy, Corinne, and Charlie, while the new Kota is Bob, Marcus, Susie, Crystal and Ken. The old Kota Six are confident that their 3-2 advantage in both tribes will serve them well, but after Fang wins an endurance immunity challenge, thanks to Matty, the new Kota tribe's vote comes down to Ken vs. Marcus. Marcus decides to trust Crystal upon realizing that her cousin is his best friend and says he won't vote her out, but he does want her to vote out Ken.
Crystal won't turn on Ken, so the deciding vote comes down to Susie. At first, it looks like she'll stick with the Kota Six, as she makes Marcus promise her a ride to the Final Three in exchange for her vote. But then, at Tribal Council, Bob says something that makes it pretty clear where she rests on the totem pole, and, either because of this or Crystal's earlier machinations, Susie ends up siding with her old Fang tribe mates. And that means Marcus, who threw an immunity idol away, suddenly find himself on the business end of a torch snuffer.
Come back on Wednesday for the full detailed recap of all the Gabon happenings. Until then, check out how this season's stars stack up.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Probst kicks off the "previously on" segment with his usual Fang hate. He uses the word "dissed" when referring to how Susie said she had more upper body strength than Corinne. Heh heh, "dissed." Probst is so Nineties. He then says that Susie "narrowly avoided" being voted out, when that's not what happened at all -- her tribe mates made the vote close on purpose just in case Dan had the immunity idol. If there was no chance Dan had the idol, the vote would have been unanimous against him. Finally, Probst calls Ace a "physical force" even though he didn't help Fang win any challenges and was always getting hit in the face and whining about it.
We go to Kota first, and Marcus asks Randy how this Tribal Council compared to all the others he's been to. "The other ones were easy," Randy says. At this, Susie laughs, earning her a lecture from Randy, who says he wasn't making a joke there. I think she's laughing because Randy's acting like that last Tribal Council was hard when she's the one who got three votes and he didn't get any. Anyway, now Randy's all offended that Susie would dare laugh at something he said, since he sincerely meant that seeing Dan be voted out was tough. Not so tough that he didn't try to save the guy, though. Like Susie, my sympathy for Randy's pain is very limited. Randy tells us that Dan was voted out tonight, although Randy himself voted for Susie just in case Dan had the idol. "He was my friend, but ... he had to go," Randy says. Well, he can add Dan to a long list of people Randy isn't friends with. And that list includes the entire population of the planet Earth, as well as any life forms that may exist throughout the universe.
Marcus gets down to business, saying that he thinks the merge is coming very soon, so they need to make sure they're going into it as a unified team of six. Randy agrees, saying that they'll be the Final Six without a doubt. Or will they? Because Marcus points out that Susie said she wanted to vote for Corinne, and that worries him. Not enough to keep Dan around, but still. Corinne takes the lead on this, saying that she was totally fine with what Susie said about her not contributing around camp (yeah, right), but was shocked to be called out by Susie yet again at Tribal Council. Right, so ... was Susie supposed to say "yes, Jeff, you're right. I am totally weak sauce?" Please. No one wants to admit she's the weakest person in the game, even if that is the truth. Except for Scout. She had no problem telling anyone and everyone that she sucked at everything.
Corinne gets way too close to the camera and tells us that at Tribal Council, Susie said Corinne was weaker than her. That's not exactly true, according to what I saw -- Susie only said she was stronger than Corinne in certain areas, like upper body strength. Which, just by looking at Susie and Corinne's upper bodies, doesn't appear to be a lie. "That woman is forty-seven years old. What could she possibly have over me?" Corinne wonders. Okay, I'll bite: bigger boobs. A better knowledge of the Spanish language. Hair-dressing skills. Corinne tells Susie that she's not sure that Susie won't try to vote her out at her opportunity, and therefore she's not sure that she wants to go into the merge with Susie as an alliance member. Then I guess you should've kept Dan around, because I really do think that he would have stayed loyal. The guy was the living embodiment of a puppy. Susie tells her tribe that she won't sell them out, but then she tells us that while the rest of her alliance seems to think they have all the power over her, she feels like she has the power over all of them. I don't know about that, but it's about time we got some game talk from Silent Susie.
After the credits, we go to Fang and a shot of two dung beetles fighting over a piece of shit. Very subtle, producers. "How gnarly was that, dude?" Matty says, as the tribe returns from Tribal Council. Sugar giggles. Ken offers to talk to Matty about "what happened," while Sugar apologizes to Matty for surprising him and then flexes her muscles, feeling very empowered. Matty tells us that Ace was the victim of a "textbook blindside" and he's glad that he kept up his end of the bargain and never voted against Ace. He's also learned never to swear on his girlfriend again. Way to learn how to play the game, Matty. It only took you halfway through the thing to do it, too. Matty tells Sugar that Ace said he had her in his back pocket (again with Ace and pockets!), and Sugar says that's exactly why she wanted him gone. Ken tells Matty that Ace was "playing him." Sugar tells us that, in the end, she trusted Ken more than Ace, and decided to take Ace out before he got the chance to get rid of her.
Meanwhile, Matty decides to talk about the white elephant at the camp and says he knows that Crystal will be gunning for him now. Crystal says she's ready and willing to wipe the slate clean from here on out, and she and Sugar urge Matty not to let anyone else get in his head like Ace did (except, you know, themselves). Oh, Matty -- they think you're a moron! An easily-swayed moron! And they're right. Matty tells us that he's worried that Crystal is mad at him for voting for her, but since he promised he wouldn't vote for Ace, he didn't have any other options. Uh ... not true. First of all, he could have cast a throw-away vote for Sugar. Second of all, as he said when he voted for her, he was more than happy to vote for Crystal and couldn't wait to see her gone. Matty says that at this point, he's praying that the game will change somehow. The rest of Fang assumes that the merge is happening tomorrow, and can't wait to eat. The Fang Four agree to stay together and somehow make it to the Final Four, and it's now common knowledge that Sugar has the idol. Sugar tells the group not to tell anyone on Kota about this, and they all agree, since it's the only way they have any chance against Kota in the merge. Crystal tells us that "hopes are high" among the Fang tribe for what must be the first time this game, and she's hoping to "outwit, outlast, and outplay" Kota. Clearly she did not win the gold medal at memorization of TV show logos, since it's "outwit, outplay, outlast." Yet another thing that Crystal fails at. "You guys are all Survivors," Matty says. "Welcome to the game," Sugar says. She giggles, but I sense some hostility there.
After various lizards walk past the camera, we head back to Kamp Kota, where a good night's sleep has done little to change Corinne's mood. She's still pissed at Susie, and says so to Marcus as they check out the latest treemail. They head back to camp, and Corinne tells us that after hearing what Susie had to say about her and her upper body strength at Tribal Council, "I plan on burying her as soon as possible -- alive. I'm an extremely vindictive person and I will get my revenge." How is it that Corinne is older than I am and still hasn't realized that revenge is a dish best served on soap operas, and even then it usually backfires? Susie didn't vote for you last night, so drop it.
Marcus and Corinne return to Kamp Kota with the treemail, which Marcus chooses to read while using the provided spoon as a microphone. He really thinks he's something special, doesn't he? Ugh. Corinne reads the second half of the clue, and it sure sounds like they're heading to a beach to merge with Fang. Kamp Kota is elated -- they've got the numbers to win this thing, no problem. Also, there's sure to be a feast that includes protein. Delicious, delicious protein. Randy tells us that he can't wait for the merge, which the treemail has "written all over it." He looking forward to going to the beach more than anything else, including, he claims, the food. Odd, then, that he chooses to live in the totally landlocked state of Missouri, but perhaps that's where all the weddings that need videographing are. As Bob packs his bowtie, Randy reminds the tribe to stay together as the Kota Six and not "be fooled." He appears to be addressing the entire tribe, but we all know he's talking to Susie.
Happy music plays us onto the beach, where, sure enough, there's a table full of food waiting for both tribes. There are hugs all around, and for some reason, Susie gives Charlie a hug as if they're meeting for the first time, which means that either she just wanted a cuddle or she's really oblivious. Matty tells us that seeing all that food was "sooo nice. It was so nice." But he says it in his adorable surfer boy accent, which makes the lack of eloquence okay. Before the players sit down to eat, Matty reads a note on a box that says that it may only be opened after the feast, as once it's opened, the feast is over. That's mighty suspicious, but the contestants don't really care because they are so hungry. Sugar digs into the chicken wings. Bob enjoys some fruit punch and/or sangria. And Crystal tries not to knock over the entire table like she did with Fang's rice. Holding a goblet full of alcohol and superiority in one hand, Randy tells us that he doesn't know what's in the box other than it ends the fun and starts the game again, so he isn't in any hurry to open it. Meanwhile, I don't see any bats on the table. Remember last season, when they were obsessed with making the contestants eat bats? And they actually put the bats on the table of the merge feast like anyone would eat one when there was non-bat food to be had? Except that James actually did eat the bats, because he's weird.
Ken stuffs his face, then notices a piece of paper with writing under it hidden a nearby bowl. The word "immunity" can be seen clearly, but before Ken can tell Matty what's going on, Charlie sees the clue as well, and stands up and points to it with a loud "what's that?" Charlie is clearly the master of subtle game-playing. Ken grabs the clue and reads it, being careful (and looking mighty obnoxious) to make sure Charlie can't see it. He tells us that the note said he could keep it to himself or share the information with everyone. Charlie tries to grab it from him, and the weakest tug-of-war ever ensues. The other side of the table is full of Kota people who don't really care what's going on because they don't think they need to care. Immunity, schmimmunity -- they're the Kota Six! They'll go all the way, even though one of their members is Susie, who Corinne hates and Randy thinks is insane and can't be trusted! Ken tells us that he knew his cover was blown, so he gives the clue to Charlie, who tosses it to the rest of his team. Ken says he had a chance to get his own immunity idol, but "Charlie blew it for" him. I think Ken blew it by staring at the clue and then whispering about it to Matty instead of finding a way to grab it before Charlie or anyone else could see it. He took his time, and now it's gone.
Of course, Marcus the Magnificent reads the clue aloud, although he refrains from using a spoon as a microphone again. It says there's a hidden immunity idol buried under a log in the sand. Randy immediately knows exactly which log the idol is buried under and asks who wants it, pointing out where he's sure it is. He just has to show everyone how smart he is, doesn't he? Marcus, meanwhile, says they could just leave the idol there, buried, so no one gets it. Marcus tells us that his big master plan was to call everyone's bluff in acting all casual about the buried idol. As opposed to Marcus, who isn't acting at all casual about the idol. How superior of him. Randy agrees with Marcus and suggests digging the idol up as a group and throwing it away. Marcus tells us that Randy caught onto his master plan and helped make it happen. Sure enough, the table decides to throw the idol away, and Randy is seen digging it up and telling us how amazingly smart he was to know that a funny-shaped log on a beach full of funny-shaped logs was significant. "I am King of Gabon!" Randy says, pronouncing it differently than Probst. Ha ha! Randy throws the idol onto the table and offers it to anyone who wants it. Ken tells us that he wants immunity more than anything, but he also knows that if he took the idol in front of everyone, he'd become a huge target. Bob plays along with the producers and says this idol is like the apple in the garden of Eden. Crystal and Matty both say that they wanted the idol, but knew better than to take it, with Matty using many James-like apple-biting metaphors.
So, Marcus and Randy tie the idol around a large bottle and prepare to toss it into the ocean. Randy takes one more opportunity to tell us that "with all due respect to President Bongo, I am the new King of Gabon," and I really thought he was being racist until I looked it up and the president of Gabon's last name is, in fact, "Bongo." The Wikipedia entry went on to accuse him of all sorts of corruption and I wonder how much CBS had to pay him off to film Survivor there. Way to contribute to the problem, CBS. "I'm sorry, but I rule," Randy adds. I want that on a bumper sticker. Or as a ringtone. Randy offers the idol up one last time. There are no takers, so Marcus warms up his idol-throwing arm as they wade out to sea. I noticed that Randy is carrying two identical bottles -- one with the idol tied around it, and the other that Randy is drinking from. Randy hands Marcus a bottle and he throws it out into the ocean. I totally thought they had done something amazing and somehow switched the bottles so that Marcus threw Randy's bottle and they kept the bottle with the idol on it and everyone on the beach was none-the-wiser, but no. Marcus tells us that his opponents are "so stupid" because he got ten people to throw immunity away. Hey, Marcus? You're one of those ten. Don't be too confident. Sugar tells us that she was surprised to see the others choose to throw immunity away, and is happy that she has her own idol. And somehow, someway, Sugar has become the smartest person in this game.
And with that, the feast is over and the box can be opened. Um ... where are the naked people swimming that we were promised in last week's previews? King Randy and Marcus the Magnificent do the honors. They find a small pouch with ten numbered stones in it and orders for everyone to take a stone. Matty looks confused, while Sugar seems to have already caught on that things are not what they seem. Once the stones have been picked, Randy reads the second clue, which informs the contestants that they are now on two new tribes -- not one merged one. Charlie's jaw hangs open. Susie doesn't appear to care one way or the other. Charlie tells us that he assumed there would be ten new buffs in the box, and never even suspected a twist like this. Which is why you shouldn't throw away an immunity idol before you know what's going on. No one looks thrilled about this, not even King Randy, who tells us that the new Kota consists of Bob, Marcus, Susie, Crystal, and Ken, while he, Corinne, Charlie, Matty, and Sugar are the new Fang tribe. I'm glad Bob got to stay on Kota -- can you imagine how upset he would have been if he had to give up that herb garden?
And now there's a whole bunch more food for Crystal to knock over! Randy, who's now wearing a Fang buff, tells us that he's not too concerned, since there are three members of the Kota Six on the new Fang tribe so he should be safe. But he's not too sure that Susie won't align with Crystal and Ken, and says he's worried for Marcus if that happens. Too bad Marcus wasn't more worried about himself. Now the immunity idol is gone. "Susie's crazy and Susie's stupid and that's a horrible combination," Randy says, not realizing that it would only be stupid and crazy of Susie to stay with the Kota Six, who clearly don't like or trust her and will get rid of her the first chance they get. Marcus, meanwhile, doesn't share Randy's worries, and says both of the new tribes have a majority of Kota Six members on them, so he feels totally confident that he won't need the idol he threw away. "I have great relationships in this game," he proclaims; "no immunity idol gets me to the finals." No, but it can advance you one round, which give you three more days to try to save yourself. As evil mastermind music plays, Susie comes alive and tells us that she feels very powerful right now, since she's basically the swing vote -- if she wants to be. And Crystal weighs in with her usual optimism, saying that she feels outnumbered and doubts she'll last much longer.
The new Kota arrive at Kamp Kota, where, despite her earlier assumption that she'll be going soon, Crystal can't help but smile upon seeing all the nice stuff at her new home. Marcus, Bob, and Susie welcome them with fake smiles, and everyone agrees it's important not to go to Tribal Council. Duh, but perhaps the Kota people felt it necessary to tell the ex-Fangians that just in case they thought going to TC was a good thing, since they seem determined to go there as often as possible. Ken tells us that he thought there was going to be a merge. Instead, he's on a new tribe with only Crystal to depend on.
And then there's an interesting development -- it turns out that Marcus is best friends with Crystal's cousin, Kenny Cox. Bob and Susie do not look happy about this. I wonder if this means that Marcus now knows that Crystal is an "Olympian," since I'd think that if my best friend had a cousin who won a gold medal, I'd know about it. Especially if Marcus was friends with the guy four years ago when Crystal supposedly won her medal. "Small world," Bob mutters. He should be thankful for that small world, since I heard he was recruited for this show from a picture in the high school yearbook of one Julie Berry, Vanuatu contestant and Probst ex-girlfriend. Marcus tells us that now that he knows that he and Crystal have a connection, he feels "torn" and doesn't know if he wants to vote her out anymore. Marcus meets with her in the woods and says if she's anything like Kenny Cox, then she's "good people," and he wants to keep her around. Crystal has no problem with that. Marcus tells us that he really likes Crystal and now everything he had planned is in the trash. Crystal swears to Marcus that she won't write his, Ken's, or Bob's name down if they have to go to Tribal Council. But before you think Crystal is a moron for promising something like that, she tells us that she fully intends to use this newfound link with Marcus to her advantage, and while she might have promised Marcus she wouldn't write his name down, she also promised that to Ace. These are big words that fill me with hope, but Crystal's let me down so many times in the past that I just can't buy it.
After another recycled elephant shot (this one is okay because it has a baby elephant in it -- so cute!) the newest Fang Failures arrive at their camp. Charlie tells us that the "Kota Six" were all set to stick together going into the merge. The merge didn't happen, but Charlie's not worried since Kota has a majority on both tribes. As long as they all stick together, they should be fine. I just want to know how Charlie is coping with playing this game without his onetruelove Marcus. Why aren't we hearing anything about that? Charlie goes on a walk with Corinne and seems less sure of his position in the game, whispering to her that he's worried about leaving Randy behind with Matty in case Randy defects and tells Matty all o the Kota Six's secrets. Randy and Matty do have a conversation, and it goes like this: "good to see you, man," Matty says. "You too," Randy spills. Such intrigue! Charlie is also concerned that Sugar might have the immunity idol, and Corinne agrees they'll have to make sure that idol is taken out of the game. Charlie says that Randy will probably want to get rid of Sugar before Matty (since he knows that Randy hates women. He hates men too, but he hates women more), but Corinne thinks that's "suicide," since if they vote for Sugar and she uses her idol, she and Matty will then be able to control who is really the to go. Corinne tells us that she wants Matty to go , both because there's no chance that he has the idol, and because he's a challenge threat to her precious Marcus. "He will go home as soon as we vote," Corinne promises. Hey, remember last week when Corinne promised that Susie was leaving ? Or that she'd stab Susie in the face and bury her alive? Well, Susie's still in this game and she's above ground with her face intact, so I'm not taking Corinne seriously.
Back at camp, Matty tries to get the dirt on Charlie and Corinne from Randy. Randy says Charlie is "awesome" and his "first gay friend," as if Randy has enough friends to be able to make distinctions like that. Let's be real, here. Charlie isn't just Randy's "first gay friend" -- he's also Randy's first male friend, first friend with black hair, first bipedal friend, and the list goes on and on. Randy says that Corinne is "cool, too." Matty tells us that he likes Randy a lot (which puts him in quite the minority), but doesn't trust him at all. Matty seems like he might actually be intelligent, but then he goes to Sugar and says he's not "unpleased" about Ace being voted out. "Unpleased." Is that better or worse than Paloma's "prounce?" I honestly don't know. Matty says he's happy he didn't break his promise to Ace, but now he's having trouble trusting Sugar. Sugar says she trusted Ken more than Ace. Matty says Ken didn't trust Ace, and told Sugar a bunch of lies to make her vote him out. In reality, Matty says, Ace never wanted to vote Sugar out, at least not at this point in the game. You know, the point in the game where she had the immunity idol he wanted.
Sugar gets all remorseful and starts crying. She tells us that she now realizes that Crystal and Ken tricked her and she feels terrible about booting Ace. "I think I may have made a big mistake, and I feel really bad," she says, somehow managing to smile through her intense guilt. This was a stupid move on Matty's part, by the way, because he, sugar, Crystal, and Ken have to trust each other and now Sugar doesn't trust half of the alliance that is all of their only chance to make it to the end of the game. Matty and Sugar head back to camp, ready to team up together in the face of the Kota Three. Matty has learned from Ace's mistake, and says that if he hears that Sugar is the to go, he'll tell her so she can use her idol, while if she hears that Matty's the to go, she should tell him so he can try to find a way to avoid it. You'll notice that he does not pull an Ace and ask to "borrow" the idol.
The day, Susie and Crystal go looking for logs. While Susie gets a nice big one, Crystal is carrying, like, a twig. Incidentally, for all of Corinne's supposedly superior upper body strength, I doubt she could have carried a log as big as Susie's. Back at camp, Bob and Marcus are talking about how they've still got this game all sewn up. Marcus tells us that he's confident that Bob will stay loyal, but he's not so sure about Susie. He goes to talk to her, and his worst fears are confirmed when she says that, should they go to Tribal Council, she can choose if she wants to stick with the Kota Six or swing over to her old Fang tribe mates. I'm not sure why she decided to tell her alliance mate, who is already unsure of her loyalty, that she's considering her options like that, but Susie is a mystery to me. Marcus says he's now feeling very paranoid, since everything is up to Susie and he has no idea what she'll do. Susie tells Marcus that if the Kota Six were to make it to the Final Six intact, she wants to know what would then happen to her. She doesn't want to settle for the bottom of that totem pole. "I need to be in the Top 3," she says, and Marcus is rendered speechless. "Marcus is basically the king. But I have the power right now to just cut his head off," Susie says, taking the both Corinne's nonsensical violence threat crown and Randy's fictional King of Gabon crown in one line. Impressive. Susie says that if she switches alliances, it's Marcus's fault. Oooh, Susie is playing a very dangerous game here. If it doesn't totally backfire in her face, things could get interesting.
It's the day, and Matty and Sugar find mail in the treemail box. Matty screams "we've got MAAAIIIIIL!" for some reason, but the rest of Fang pay him no mind as they're busy strategizing about their easy road to the Final Six. Randy says he was thinking that it might not be a bad idea for them to intentionally lose the immunity challenge, since the three of them are much stronger than Marcus, Bob, and Susie. If Fang loses, then, they'll be able to get rid of Matty and that'll improve their numbers in case Susie defects. Or, as Randy puts it, "what Crazy Susie does." Corinne tells us that she was happy to hear from Randy that Matty should go , since that's how she feels as well. Randy tells us that Matty will be voted out , just in the case of the "one in a billion chance" that Sugar was smart enough to find the idol. Yes, that one in a billion chance that Sugar didn't spend enough time on Exile "Island" to have dug up the entire place and found the idol even if she hadn't been able to figure out those clues.
Matty and Sugar return with the treemail, and the tribe quickly figures out that they're looking at some kind of horrible endurance challenge. That's pretty standard for the first challenge following a merge, although there was no merge this time. This makes me wonder if the non-merge was pre-planned, or the producers came up with this twist upon seeing Kota potentially run away with the game. Matty tells us that he knows how important it is for Fang to win this challenge, since he could very well be the person to go if they don't.
The tribes arrive, and Probst acts all superior and says it looks like they don't have this game as thought out as they thought they did. Marcus says his game plan changed as soon as the merge didn't happen. Corinne says she still feels like a member of Kota, so much so that she's even gone as far as to rename her new tribe "Fang" (pronouncing it with a long "a" instead of the short "o." You know, like how Kelly insisted on saying it. That puts you in some great company, Corinne). That's so insulting to the old Fang members and pretty much tells Matty and Sugar exactly where they stand -- and Crystal and Ken, too, once the merge happens. Smart, Corinne. Probst asks Matty how, as the only person who's been on Fang for the entire game, Corinne's comment makes him feel. Matty says he's "trapped in the ghetto" and "whatever you wanna call it, I don't care ... I just wanna get out of there one day." Probst smiles because he hates Fang.
For today's challenge, players have to place a pole on the top of each hand. The poles are underneath a small board, so that the player must apply upward pressure to the poles to keep them under the board and stop them from falling. If you lower a hand, the pole will fall and you're out. Wow, that does not look like fun. The last player left wins immunity for his entire tribe. Probst helpfully clears that not-at-all-confusing statement up by saying that the first tribe to have all its members drop their poles will lose and go to tribal council. With that, the players take their spots and the game begins. "This challenge is officially underway," Probst says. Thinking that her poles are holding up rice, Crystal immediately drops them. "And after one second, Crystal is out," Probst says, disgusted. For real. I was disgusted, too. How far does Eric "the Eel" Moussambani live from Gabon? Is he close enough to make it over there and smack her? Even he is a better Olympian than she is. Sugar is quick to follow Crystal out. "After ten seconds," Probst snarls. He starts nattering on about the need to concentrate and how little food and sleep everyone has had until Susie drops her pole and angrily throws down her other one. I'm disappointed. I was hoping she would outlast Corinne and prove that her upper body strength was, in fact, superior. Unfortunately, Susie is easily distracted and finds it difficult to care about anything, so she lost her concentration.
out is Randy, followed almost at the same time by Corinne. But are they throwing the challenge? They certainly look genuinely angry to lose. Ken is the to go, and he loses one pole but stays up there, possibly hoping no one will notice. It doesn't work; Probst tells him to sit down. Meanwhile, Bob is looking pretty solid while Marcus's arms are shaking. Probst coaches him to "dig deep" and "change arm position," but it's no good and Marcus is out. Probst says it's Charlie and Matty versus Bob, and Charlie steals a look at Bob before he drops his pole. I'm not sure if he did it on purpose or not; it definitely looked fake.
So now it's Matty versus Bob, and Matty has gone insane. "Ain't no thing, Bobby boy!" he shouts. Probst warns them not to "get foolish" like he's their teacher or something. Matty makes a high-pitched giggling sound, and Probst urges Bob to "block it out" because Probst wants Bob to win and Matty to lose. Marcus, meanwhile, decides to distract Bob and tells him that Matty is shaking and will drop soon. Matty giggles again at this, and Probst says/hopes that "Matty is going to be laughing his way right to Tribal Council," pointing out that one of his poles is right on the edge of the board. "Stop jabbering and start concentrating!" Probst lectures. I don't know if Probst hates Matty, Fang, or just hates it when people don't take his little endurance challenges seriously. Meanwhile, Bob is starting to shake quite a bit while Matty is playing with fire and trying to somehow move his pole so it's not hanging off the board. And then, while looking over at Matty, Bob drops his pole. Fang wins! Well, Matty wins. Although I guess he's the only real Fang member left. His team embraces him while Kota looks all sad and tastes defeat. Probst congratulates Fang, pronouncing it "Fong." "Fang," Corinne corrects him. "Don't forget your tribe flag, Fang," Probst says, hating Corinne. Randy gives us a post-challenge wrap-up, saying he likes winning, but it doesn't really matter since Matty would have been going home if they had lost. Matty tells us that he's happy with his performance, and dying to know who from Kota is going home tonight.
As Kota does their slow-mo walk of defeat, Susie narrates that she wants to see someone from Fang go home tonight, but that all depends on whether or not she can trust Marcus to get her to the Final Three. First of all, how can Marcus get you anywhere? And second of all, have you seen this show, Susie? People promise all kinds of things to advance themselves. They rarely deliver. Marcus can promise you Final 3, Final 2, Final 1, whatever -- it doesn't mean he'll be able to do it for you, or that he'll want to.
The Kota losers return to Kamp. Marcus tells us that the immunity challenge brought them a "less than ideal result." Well, you only have yourself to blame for that. All of you on Kota do. Except for Bob. He outlasted all of you and he's fifty-seven. Crystal tries to explain away her dismal failure by saying the poles "didn't feel right." I'd say that makes sense for someone more used to those small metal relay batons, except that it's abundantly clear that Crystal has never handled such a pole, or run, in her life ever. Marcus tells us that he's sorry, but Crystal or Ken is going home tonight. Because of his connection with Crystal, he wants Ken to go.
So Marcus talks to Crystal at the dock and lays it all out, saying he wants to vote Ken out tonight, and Susie after that. I think he's being honest here, and that if everything went according to plan he would vote Susie out after Ken, since his alliance would still have the numbers with Ken gone and they'd be rid of unpredictable Susie. I also think he honestly wanted Crystal to be in the "Kota Six" and take Susie's place there. Crystal doesn't think Marcus will be able to convince the rest of his alliance to accept her over Susie, but Marcus says Corinne and Randy hate Susie, and Crystal sucks so bad at challenges that no one would consider her to be an immunity threat. Crystal laughs and admits that she is "batting zero" right now. Understatement. But what she lacks in athleticism, she makes up for in brains, as Crystal goes along with Marcus's plan but tells us that she doesn't appreciate him coming to her to vote off her number one ally. "I'm not pleased. At all," she says, adding that Marcus is playing the nice guy card but she can tell he's a schemer. Meanwhile, she's playing the nice girl card but she's also a schemer -- and a liar. "The game is outwit, outlast. You can't outwit Crystal Cox, baby," she says. And yet, the show's logo has outwitted her twice in one episode.
Marcus goes to the woods with Susie and says they should keep Crystal around since she's hopeless at any and all challenges and vote Ken out tonight. Susie suggests that Crystal might get better now that she's getting some food. Ha! Crystal sucked on a full stomach, too. Marcus doubts it: "she's atrocious!" He says he wants Ken out tonight, and Crystal out , although he hopes it won't come down to that. Susie tells us that she "feels safer" going along with Marcus right now, even though this is probably the only opportunity she'll have in the game to get rid of him. Don't be an idiot, Susie! Susie tells Marcus she's trusting him now, and he says he thought they were trusting each other for a while now. Except when everyone accused Susie of being untrustworthy, like, yesterday. How quickly Marcus forgets. I hope Susie doesn't forget. Susie says she's trusting Marcus to bring her to the Final Three. Marcus points out that they have to help each other do that, but says he could see a Final Three of him, Charlie, and Susie. Aw, Marcus is just as devoted to Charlie as Charlie is to him! Susie tells us that she sees Marcus as her best chance of getting to the end.
Crystal, meanwhile, finds Ken. Ken thinks that Susie will either side with them or be voted out tonight. "No," Crystal says. Ken looks surprised, although I can't imagine why. I mean, duh, Ken. Crystal tells him that the plan is to vote Ken out tonight, and Ken deflates like Kirby. "I can't let them do it," Crystal says. Ken says their only chance is to convince Susie to vote with them instead of Marcus and Bob. Crystal tells us that Ken's life in this game rests on Susie. And she doesn't look pleased about that. If only Ken had a Game Genie, then he would have infinite lives! And super jump!
So while Ken talks to the boys about the fish they're preparing for supper tonight, Crystal goes into her usual plotting spot -- the hut. She whispers to Susie that they can help each other, and Crystal and Ken are willing to vote out whoever Susie wants. For example, Crystal suggests, Marcus could go home tonight. "But Marcus wants to take me to the final three," Susie says, so naively. First of all, he doesn't "want" to. You're trying to force him into promising you that, and it's a promise that he is under no obligation to keep. Second of all, he won't. "He can't promise you that!" Crystal says. "You think he's lying to me?" Susie asks. Is she this stupid, or is she just acting stupid? I don't get it. Crystal says she knows Marcus is lying, and lists off the members of the Kota Six who don't like Susie, according to Marcus. Ooooh, that was bad move on Marcus's part, giving up vital Kota Six inter-dynamics like that! Now Crystal's argument becomes very convincing.
Susie tells us that she's not sure if she can trust Crystal and Ken to get her to the Final Three. Okay, you know what, Susie? It's time to stop acting like it's other people's jobs to carry your ass to the end of the game. If you think you're too weak to do anything for yourself then you shouldn't have auditioned for the show in the first place. "You have numbers," Crystal tells her. And that's the most important thing right now -- numbers. If Susie swings over to the Fang Four and votes Marcus out tonight, then her new alliance will have five people and the Kota Six will be the Kota Four. Even on the bottom of that totem poll, that's still one spot better than the bottom of the Kota Six. As Kota leaves for Tribal Council, Susie tells us that she doesn't know what to do or how to feel. Pretty much like usual.
The Kota Kids take their seats at TC, with Bob giving Ken an odd pat on the back as things get underway. Is that because Bob feels bad for Ken for being voted out tonight? Don't be so confident, Bob. Probst asks Crystal what Kamp Kota is like. Crystal says it's like "corporate espionage" in that everyone looks nice in his suit but you have no idea what's really going on in his head. I don't really get it, but Probst seems to find her metaphor entertaining. Crystal says that Fang, on the other hand, is like the projects and people are too hungry to keep things inside. Unless they're plotting to take Ace out.
Probst asks Bob if, now that there might not be a merge, his strategy has changed. And here's where Bob fails big time. He says if he had known there wouldn't be a merge, he wouldn't have voted the way he did at the last TC. Probst gives Bob even more rope to hang himself, clarifying that Bob is saying he would have voted for someone else to go home. Bob says yes, most likely. And Susie can sit there and think about how one of her supposed alliance mates just announced that he would have voted her out in a hot second if he had known there wouldn't be a merge. I really hope she's paying attention.
Probst asks Marcus if he wants to keep the tribe as physically strong as possible to win challenges, or if it's more important at this stage of the game to keep past alliances together in the case of a merge. Marcus says he wants to keep the tribe physically strong, and Ken decides he has nothing to lose and says "I think that's total bullshit." Susie and Crystal find this hugely entertaining. Ken says Marcus is definitely trying to keep the Kota Six intact to take out the Fang Four going into a merge, and asks Marcus if that isn't true. "You know very well that we beat you guys seven times in a row, and why would we want to change any of the people in there?" Marcus says calmly. Right, so why pretend you're trying to keep the tribe strong, then? "Frankly, I think you're a really nice guy and it sucks that your frustration is being taken out in this direction, you know?" Marcus says, with all the pompousness of a guy who's certain that he's going to win this game and Ken is going home tonight. Ken says that he's taking it out on Marcus because Marcus is obviously the leader of the Kota Six and is the "special Kota God that everybody's listening to." Yes, Ken! Call him out! Sometimes it's stupid to be honest in Tribal Council (for instance, Michelle. Who? Exactly), but at this point, Ken might as well. Marcus denies being any kind of leader, saying he's one voice out of five. Susie bites her lip, but I don't know if that's to keep from laughing or because she's thinking that Marcus needs to go or if she's just hungry.
Probst asks Bob if his decision tonight is clear. Bob says it is. Probst asks Susie the same question. "I've made my decision. And I'm okay with it," Susie says cryptically. I hope I'm okay with it. Marcus the Magnificent needs to be Marcus the Most Recently Booted! Come on, Susie! With that, it's time to vote. Marcus votes for Ken, putting a stupid spiral on the vote for no reason. Or is that supposed to symbolize his Onion Alliance? Whatever. Crystal votes for Marcus, loud and proud in big letters. "You are not the Kota God. Good-bye!" she says. Bob votes for Ken, and draws a crying face to it as if voting Ken out is in any way painful for him. I hate it when people put sad faces on votes, as if that would make things easier to take for the bootee. "Oh, I just lost my chance to win a million dollars, but it was as painful for the people who booted me as it was for me to be booted, judging by those crying face drawings. So it's all good." No. Bob says he's sorry, but Ken's behavior at TC makes this vote a little bit easier. Ken votes for "Marc-Ace," drawing two faces on the vote. Neither are crying. Rather, one is smiling and the other is sticking its tongue out. He stays true to his geeky roots, saying he's hoping for an ending like in the comics when the "little guy" takes on "the bully." I am, too! Susie votes, but, of course, we don't see for who.
Probst asks if anyone wants to play an immunity idol, but since Marcus threw the idol away, no one has one to play. The votes are read, and it's two votes for Ken and two for Marcus. So who did Susie vote for? Who is the first member of the jury? MARCUS! Hooray! Susie isn't crazy after all! Bob looks pained, as well he should since the alliance he's in only because they needed an extra person and no one had any intention of bringing him to the finals anyway has now crumbled. Ken and Crystal look downright triumphant. I love it! Ken saved Crystal last week and she saved him this week. Despite their stunning lack of athletic ability or having anything in common with each other, they've managed to survive. Marcus tries not to look bitterly disappointed as he leaves, but he so is. The doctor just got outplayed by a hairdresser. Bet you wish you hadn't voted Dan out now, huh?
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com, especially if you know where she can get a really nice HDTV for cheap.
Just how psychic are we? Compare our early predictions of who'll stay the course with what's really happening on the show with our Survivor Gabon: Who Will Outwit, Outplay and Outlast? gallery.