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More of the same this week. Trouble is brewing at Kota, as Dan eats more than his fair share and everyone else is getting sick of it. But since they win both challenges again, it doesn't really matter. Plus, they catch a turtle and eat it for extra protein. Fang loses the reward challenge badly and Crystal continues to make all Olympians look bad by having to drop out of a challenge involving running and carrying a heavy weight. She cries at the loss, prompting Randy to make fun of her, which really pisses her off.
And at the immunity challenge, Fang is actually ahead of Kota and about to win it when Ace commandeers the flag pole building puzzle and totally sucks at it while Kota works together to assemble their pole and win again. Now Fang has to figure out who to kick out. Matty has made a stupid deal with Ace that he doesn't want to break, so he won't vote for Sugar like his other alliance wants. Sugar, by the way, completely loses her mind and gives the idol to Ace until Ken knocks some sense into her and she gets it back. Not like it matters, since she's determined not to use it. At Tribal Council, Kelly is her usual unpleasant self, calling Crystal out for looking "unstable" by crying in front of the other tribe. A furious Crystal votes for Kelly while flipping her off. The rest of the tribe does the same.
Come back on Wednesday for the full recap, but browse pictures of the cast until then.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Probst chooses to recap the entire season thus far on the previously segment, which I hate. He also heavily favors Kota as usual, which I hate even more. At least this week he actually admits that Fang won two challenges. One clip they used to illustrate Fang's suckitude was when Ace missed his team's ball last week, which actually helped them, so it's clear that the editors and producers and Probst are simply watching a different show than I am. I do like Matty's never-before-seen comment that Fang is "the goof troop."
Fang returns to camp from Tribal Council. No one seems especially upset to lose GC. In fact, they're in positively high spirits about it. Ace tells us that "GC had to go," as if he pulled off some sort of big-time strategic move when really, GC just quit. It had nothing to do with Ace at all, unless GC's reason for quitting was that he couldn't stand to listen to that fake accent anymore. Ace continues that he's got Sugar in his pocket, which he's really fond of saying, and now he's looking for a member of Fang to make a deal with to save his ass until the merge.
It's the morning, and Kelly didn't sleep well. The show included her saying this just to show us that Kelly can't do anything well, ever. Matty suddenly has all kinds of feelings for his girlfriend, and he says she's his "driving force" for being out here. Yeah, that's probably because she's the person who cast him on the show. He wants to see this game through to the end, but he knows that being on this tribe isn't going to make that easy. So he tells us that if someone were to approach him with a good plan, he'd "for sure" jump on board. Why does someone else have to have the plan, Matty? Can't you think of something?
Matty and Ace go off together. Ace puts on his "woe is me" act, saying he doesn't want to be blindsided when he's sure the old Fang will eventually vote him out. Somehow, this turns into a deal where Matty won't vote against either Ace or Sugar until the merge and Ace won't vote against Matty or Ken, as if Ace's vote even matters. Matty swears on his girlfriend's life, while Ace swears on his mother's. Swearing on people's lives is so stupid and immature, but whatever. I have a feeling Matty isn't very smart. He just made a deal with a guy who has everything to lose while he has nothing to lose. Why? And he'll probably stick to it, while we all know Ace won't. For as little as Matty seems to think of his tribe mates, he's probably the dumbest one there.
After a shot of a Mama elephant and her baby, which we've seen more than once before, we head over to Kamp Kota, where all is not well. They've got plenty of food, but not an infinite supply, and Dan seems to be eating more than his fair share. In fact, as Bob says, he's eating twice the amount of food as everyone else. Corinne's not pleased either, telling us that Dan seems to have decided that he needs fourth and even fifth servings of food, served up in a delightful lettuce wrap. She says they're going through their food supply at "an alarming rate" and, gets absolutely indignant with her arms folded as she says she's "sick" about all the food Dan is wasting. I have a feeling Dan is the reason why Fang's about to run out of rice. Which, by the way, I can't wait to see happen. Shouldn't it be happening soon? They only had that little box.
Speaking of rice, Kelly whines that she wants some. Matty is concerned that they won't have enough for the nine days. Ken says they can either have two small meals a day or one larger one. Ace has an expert opinion about this of course, saying two small meals are better for digestion. Ken is worried about how much rice sticks to the side of the cooking pot and thinks they'll save more rice if they only cook one large portion a day. How about unsticking the rice from the side of the pot and eating it? Ken tells us -- whoa! What the hell is that on his thumb? Is that a fingernail? It looks like a claw! Why does he have a long fingernail like that? Is it for videogames? Is being good at videogames really worth having long woman nails? I wouldn't think so. Anyway, Ken says that in the beginning, everyone on Fang was really wasteful with the rice, so now there's a shortage. He says this as if it's not his fault, too, when I remember Randy trying desperately to implement some rice rationing measures and Ken not being very into that.
Meanwhile, Ace heads into the hut where Sugar is lying around and whispers to her that he thinks everyone knows she has the idol. "Why?" Sugar asks. Uh ... because Probst told them last night, maybe? Ace says he's almost positive they went through her bag, and she should have listened to him when he told her not to leave it in there because Ace is the smartest and bestest at everything in the world. Sugar just shrugs. Her total lack of caring about the immunity idol is such a stark contrast to Ozzy last season. Maybe this means she'll play it better than him, although I doubt it. Case in point: "Should I give you the idol?" she asks Ace. WHAAAAAT? Is she serious? "And if I don't play it, you'll have it later," she says. What does that even mean? If you want to get rid of the idol that bad, just play it at the Tribal yourself, Sugar! And then get sent right back to Exile and find it again after the reward challenge. Does she understand the concept of the idol? Is she stupid? What is going on? Ace is so shocked that Sugar would just give him the idol that he's momentarily rendered speechless. He finally says he's not asking her to do that. "If I'm not going to play it, I might as well give it to you," she says. Why isn't she going to play it? What is the matter with her? Does she think that she can't play the idol if other people know she has it?
Sugar attempts to explain her insane move by saying that she wanted to hold onto the idol for as long as possible, but for some reason thinks she can no longer do this now that Ace thinks everyone else knows she has it. "I gave it to Ace for safekeeping," she says. None of this makes sense. I don't even know what to say anymore. At least when Erik gave up the immunity necklace last season, I could understand his motives. It was still incredibly stupid, but I understood it. Sugar says that she's putting a lot of trust in Ace, and while she knows he's a snake, "he's my snake." Well, not anymore, since you gave him the idol. Now he doesn't need you at all. Nice job.
And now Ace is supremely satisfied with himself. He tells us that he went from the bottom of the tribe to the very top, now that he's got the idol and a deal with Matty. We cut to him interviewing, and in the background we see an elephant slide into the water for a swim. Someone slaps on an elephant trumpeting sound effect, and Ace turns around to see the elephant. He's in awe of it, saying it's beautiful. It's hard to hate Ace when he's gushing over animals.
The tribes arrive at the Reward Challenge, and Randy is thrilled to see that GC is no longer with Fang. He gives his old tribe a thumbs-up and a nod of approval. He must have really hated GC to be able to give someone a compliment like that. Probst explains the challenge: each tribe has to carry a 200-pound weight painted up to look like a snake around an oval track. The teams start out on opposite sides of the track, and the tribe that can catch up to and touch the other team wins. Contestants can drop out, but that will mean more weight for the rest of the group to carry. And what are they playing for? A tray of breakfast goodies, including coffee, tea, milk, and sugar. How are they going to keep that milk from spoiling? The danishes and chocolate éclairs look delicious. Kota sits Corinne out, and we begin!
Okay, I really think this is going to be Fang's time to shine. I mean, it's a running challenge and they've got Crystal. Yes, they have to carry weights, but I'm sure Crystal has done all kinds of training where she had to run while carrying weights. She's going to nail this one. We're finally going to see our Olympic champion! And we're off! I'm surprised that Crystal doesn't just order her entire team to detach from the snake and carry it herself and sprint over to Kota and win the challenge immediately, but perhaps she's holding back to make things interesting. Fang seems to be catching up to Kota, and even Probst admits this. But then, of course, he turns against Kelly, whom he hates for no good reason. "Kelly, barely moving!" he calls out. Ugh.
Kota seems to be gaining even more ground as Ken trips over his own feet for the one billionth time in his life. Matty loves him some chocolate éclairs, so he starts yelling at his tribe to move faster. "Fang is fading very quickly!" Probst says. And with that, Ken and Sugar are the first to drop out. Pathetic, Ken. Just pathetic. And yet, I never hear Probst calling him out for being the weakest member of his tribe. He points out that Fang is actually faster without them, and then Matty basically orders Kelly to drop out as well. So now it's just Ace, Matty, and Crystal holding a 200 pound weight. Looks like a good time for Crystal to turn it on and show us why she won that gold medal!
Just as Probst points out that Fang is getting some distance from Kota again now that the wastes of oxygen Sugar, Ken, and Kelly have dropped out, Susie drops out from Kota. Bob is still in it, though, which should really make Ken think about his level of physical activity and how he really needs to step it up. And then ... "I'm tired!" Crystal says. You've got to be kidding me. Really, Crystal? You're tired? You're running! You should have all kinds of endurance, even with the weight! Matty starts shrieking in frustration, and Crystal drops out. Fucking pathetic. Are we sure she won a medal in the real Olympics? Maybe it was the Olimpics. I mean, there are middle-aged Canadian women with curling gold medals who could have done better than Crystal.
So now Matty and Ace have to carry 200 pounds between them. Matty is still determined, but Ace says he can't carry 100 pounds. He tries, but in the end they're too slow, and Kota easily catches them and wins the challenge, with Marcus making a totally unnecessary drama dive forward to touch Ace's back. Kota is thrilled, and Crystal is devastated. She should be. Bob outlasted her. What a disgrace. Probst gives Kota their reward, saying there's enough on the plate for them to give themselves a little sample now while they're in front of Fang, just to completely destroy them. "Can you share?" Kelly asks pathetically. "Uh ... no!" Randy says. Then he takes a big bite out of his fruit tart and makes sure to look at Fang as he savors it.
Probst turns to a crying Crystal and asks her what's worse: losing again, or watching other people eat delicious food? Crystal sobs that losing over and over is starting to get to her. "Wah wah wah!" Randy says. Okay, that was kind of hilarious to watch but also incredibly disgusting of Randy. Just awful. Totally unnecessary. Any magnanimity I had for him is gone. I'm sure he's not used to winning anything in life, so this is all new for him, but hasn't he at least read about good sportsmanship in a book or something? Also, after he said that, everyone on his tribe turned to look at him, but they cut to a shot of Crystal, suddenly tear-free, looking all pissed off before we could see their reaction. I would really like to know if they laughed or were horrified and embarrassed. And with that, Kota sends Sugar back to Exile. Why do they do that? It's just cruel now. I know Fang has no chance of winning, and I don't even like most of the people on that tribe, but I do hate Kota so I'm rooting for Fang. Fang is sent away, and Randy sarcastically salutes them. He tells us that the only thing he likes more than winning challenges is watching Fang lose. That's not being competitive -- that's being a miserable human being. As Kota takes its reward and heads home, Crystal tells us that Randy is basically a mean troll who lives under a bridge and she will not take being disrespected like that. If she makes it to the merge, she doesn't see much hope for the original Fangians to form alliances. Which is actually bad news for Randy, since I'm pretty sure the original Kota will immediately get together and align against Fang, which means he'll be voted out along with the rest of his first tribe. Wah wah wah, Randy; you shot yourself in the foot.
Kota returns to camp. Marcus tells us that he's thrilled to be on a "strong and unified" team that works so well together. I don't think it's so much that Kota is a great team as Fang is starving to death and has no morale, thanks to Probst. Now it's time to divvy up the food, and it's going to be an annoyingly complicated process thanks to Greedy Dan's presence. Corinne tells us that it's all Dan's fault that they have to carefully ration out the food. Dan, it seems, wants to eat the reward in addition to supper, while Charlie thinks it should be a meal substitute, as that will help preserve their supply. The rest of the tribe seems to agree. "I don't want to be hungry come midnight," Dan whines. Really? Then why did you agree to go on a game show where you're starving and stuff? Idiot. Randy tells us that Dan has managed to annoy everyone on Kota, even Randy "a little bit," as if that's difficult. Puppies and children with terminal cancer annoy Randy. Randy thinks he should "slowly distance" himself from Dan in order to win the original Kota members over. This must be quite the change for Randy, as he's usually the person everyone else is trying to get themselves away from. Dan tells Randy the pastries are delicious, but after just one bite he only has one and half of his share left. "It's a reward. There's no rationing," Randy says, thinking he's stirring the pot. So now he's alienating his ex-Fang tribe mates from the old Kota as well as alienating himself from new and old Fang. That doesn't seem like a good plan.
Sugar's back on Exile "Island." She cries for her teammates, since she gets fruit and a hammock while they have nothing. She says she gave Ace the idol "in case he needs it before Tribal." What is she thinking? Why would Ace need the idol BEFORE Tribal? Does she understand the rules of this show?
Back at Fang, Matty's taking up a leadership position, saying they should work today to fill up canteens because he thinks it'll be really hot tomorrow. "I don't know why you're stressing over it," Crystal says. Um ... because your tribe sucks and maybe a proactive approach will actually help you? At this point, it can't hurt. I wonder if she told her Olympic coach to stop stressing when he told her to train and stuff. Assuming, that is, that she was actually in the Olympics or has even run at any point in her life, which I'm really starting to doubt. Kelly tells us that losing the challenge sucked because they really needed food. She also takes issue with Crystal crying in front of the other tribe, saying that it, like most things Crystal, "was huge." Kelly says Crystal's personality "sucks." Unlike Kelly's, I'm sure. She takes a walk with Ace, who says that it looks like Crystal is going the same way as GC. Um, no. You see, Crystal cried because she was upset to lose the challenge. GC didn't care enough about winning or losing to even fully participate. Big difference. "Like, seriously though. It just, like, sucks, it's like a damper on the team, like you don't need to cry, right?" says the eloquent and articulate Kelly. Ace says that when Sugar cries, it's "emotional," whereas when Crystal cries, it's because she's losing it. I don't know; she seems pretty with it and determined now.
Crystal tries to talk to Matty about her reward challenge tears. She tells him not to see them as a weakness. Meanwhile, I'd like to point out that Matty is working on cutting up all these vegetables and roots and fruits he just collected to make food for everyone while Crystal is just sitting around. She has a feeling that Kelly thinks she's weak now. "Not weak," is all Matty says. Crystal decides to track Kelly down and talk to her before she has much of a chance to talk to Ace. She tells us that she's worried that some members of her tribe are putting her in the GC category, and says she was bummed after the challenge but snapped out of it pretty soon after returning to camp. But Kelly hasn't spoken a word to Crystal since the crying jag. "And so now she's going to feel the wrath of Crystal," Crystal says matter-of-factly. How about letting a challenge feel the wrath of Crystal for once?
Crystal happens upon Ace and Kelly in the woods at the top of a hill. "Hey, how'd you get here?" Kelly asks, apparently thinking that from Crystal's poor performance in that first hill-climbing challenge, she's unable to walk up hills. Kelly insincerely asks Crystal if she's feeling better. Crystal says she is, and that the old Kota members need to understand that while they were in a tribe that had fish and corn and beans at one point, she hasn't had any of those things except for "a pinch of a freaking sardine." She demands that Kelly not think her tears mean she's weak, since everyone feels a little blue from time to time. "It's just that mine come out through my eyes," she says. As opposed to tears that come out from where, exactly? She claims she can "still battle with the best of 'em," which is something we really haven't seen her do yet. Kelly tells us that she didn't take the crying as a sign of weakness, necessarily. She doesn't say what she did take it as, but says that while Crystal can explain herself to Fang all she wants, she can't say anything to Kota. I think she actually has a good point somewhere in there.
We're back at Kota again. We've seen so much of them this episode that I'm very hopeful they'll be going to Tribal Council tonight. Oh, but there's another stroke of good luck for them, as Randy has caught a huge turtle. Aw, poor turtle. Marcus wants to grab it out of the water and feed the tribe, but Bob totally jumps in and grabs the turtle out of the water instead. Ha! Now Marcus won't get the credit he so desperately craves. Marcus tells us catching the turtle was like winning a reward challenge. Not for the turtle, it isn't. The rest of Kota is also happy, with Dan supplying cooking tips. Susie actually gets to speak up to tell us that she thinks the turtle will be very tasty. Thanks, Susie! I look forward to hearing from you again week. Kota sits down to eat turtle soup, and Marcus tells us that they're at their highest point going into the challenge. "Fang better watch out," he says.
Challenge time! The teams arrive and Probst brings Sugar back from Exile. For today's challenge, each tribe will pair off into three teams. The teams are tied together and must navigate an obstacle course through the jungle to retrieve two flagpole sections and return to their mat, at which point the team can go. Once they've collected all six pieces, they must assemble them into the flagpole and raise it. The first team to do so wins. Kota sits Susie out, and we're off! It's Randy and Bob against Sugar and Kelly first. Probst actually has something nice to say to Fang as Kelly and Sugar make it through the cargo net first. "Fang, lookin' strong!" Probst says. Both teams reach the flagpole sections, and Kota catches up to Fang as Bob quickly unties Kota's pieces. Coming back to the mat, Randy and Bob are in the lead with Sugar and Kelly pretty close behind. Of course, Probst is furious, and says "Go, girls! What are you doing? Fang slowing down!" and then "Kelly and Sugar are losing a TREMENDOUS amount of time for Fang! Kelly is dragging!" Which isn't even true. I am so cheering for Fang. I just want to see Kota go down in flames.
Corinne and Charlie head out for Kota, followed by Ace and Crystal for Fang. Interesting that they put Ken with Matty on the last turn. I'm ready for Crystal to disappoint me yet again, but she actually gets through the obstacles quicker than Ace and soon both teams are untying their flagpole pieces. Crystal tries to untie first, but then Ace runs up and takes over, since he's so good at things like this. Crystal grabs the pieces and they lightly bump into Ace's chest. "OOOOH! That hurt!" he cries out. Baby. Charlie and Corinne are the first team to reach the cargo net, but Ace and Crystal are soon right behind them! Come on, Fang!
Marcus and Dan set off for Kota. Matty and Ken make quick work of the first cargo net, with Ken's skinniness finally coming in handy. While heroic music plays, Fang is right behind Kota in the jungle obstacles. And then ... Matty decides to walk over the obstacle instead of through it, and they pass Kota! Hooray! Oh, but then Probst has to announce Fang's strategy, which is just fucking wrong of him. Ken unties Fang's flagpole pieces first, but Kota gets theirs pretty quickly after. And then, of course, Kota copies Fang and climbs over the obstacle course. Thanks, Probst.
When they emerge from the woods, Fang is no doubt thrilled to see Matty and Ken in the lead. "We are neck and neck!" Probst lies. No, you're not. Fang is ahead. But Kota gets to work on their flagpole first, as Ken forgets to step onto the mat. And then it's time to get the flagpole assembled. "This is where teamwork is going to win or lose this challenge," Probst says, adding: "Kota working together very well!" Oh, crap. Come on, Fang. Win it! Please? And then, as all members of Kota work together to fit the individual flagpole pieces together, Ace orders his team to "get out of the way" so he can do it himself. He takes a piece and tries to shove it in the base, but it won't fit because it's the wrong piece. He keeps trying anyway, even though Probst basically tells him that if it doesn't fit, it's not the right piece. And then, while Fang doesn't even have any of the flagpole pieces assembled, Kota raises their flag. Aw, man. Ace lost that for everyone. He really did. I hate him more than ever. Probst sends Kota away with smiles and praise, then turns to Fang and dubs the line "if you continue to play like individuals, you'll be [at Tribal Council] every time." He tells them to spare themselves the pain of losing further challenges and commit suicide before Tribal Council tonight. And as Fang gets going, we get yet another VO from Crystal. This time, she's mad at Ace, saying he's a tyrant and a bully, and all that physical strength he supposedly brings to the tribe hasn't helped them win yet. What's up with this new Crystal post-challenge wrap-up show? I like it, but it's an unusual deviation from formula.
Fang returns to camp. Ace tells us that "a couple people died right at the end" of the challenge. Um ... what? All I saw was one guy stubbornly pushing the rest of his team out of the way because he thinks he's the smartest person there and therefore the only one capable of solving a simple puzzle. He puts the blame on Kelly and Sugar for slowing down at the end of their leg of the challenge. Even if they had been able to keep up the same speed, Fang still would have lost. In fact, much as I hate to say it, even if Probst hadn't handed Marcus and Dan the hint to climb on top of the obstacle course, Fang would have lost. They were nowhere near done with the flagpole when Kota won, and I think Ace would have been there all night trying to shove the wrong piece into the base. And yet, Ace insists with a condescending laugh that Kelly is going home tonight.
But when he talks to Matty, Matty's worried about Sugar having the idol come the merge, and wants to "flush" it out tonight. Ace assures Matty that Sugar can't play the idol tonight, although he doesn't tell him how he knows this and it doesn't really matter anyway. It's not the fact that Sugar has the idol that scares Matty, Ace. It's the fact that anyone besides Matty has it. So whether Sugar has the idol or you do, it's the same issue. Matty decides to trust Ace, and both agree to vote Kelly out tonight. Ace tells us that it makes the most sense to get rid of Kelly, even though he pretty much single-handedly lost the immunity challenge for Fang.
Crystal has other plans. She wants to try to blindside Sugar tonight. Matty shakes his head no. He says Ace wants to vote Kelly out tonight, and he agrees. Crystal says she wants Ace out. Matty says they can't get rid of Ace if they want to win challenges. Crystal points out that they haven't won a challenge since he arrived at Fang. Crystal tells us that she doesn't understand what Matty's thinking right now, since he's telling Ace everything and Ace isn't telling him anything in return. True, Crystal. She says she's very leery of Sugar and Ace, and thinks everyone else on Fang should be, too. But they aren't, since when she goes to consult with Ken, he also wants to vote Kelly out, saying it's their "safest bet." Crystal says she knows that Ace, Sugar, and Matty are voting for Kelly, but she still wants to get rid of Ace. Ken agrees that he trusts Ace much less than he does Kelly. Ken tells us that Crystal doesn't trust Matty, either, and he thinks she's onto something.
So Ken goes to talk to Matty. He tells on Crystal, saying she told him she's afraid that Matty is going to flip to another alliance, but he reassured her that wouldn't happen. But Ken's not too sure of that himself. Matty doesn't do much to make him feel better, saying all they have to worry about right now is voting Kelly out. Ken points out that they could blindside Ace instead. Matty says he can't break his promise to Ace. Ken tells him promises are meaningless in this game, and especially with people like Ace. "He swore on his mother," Matty says, as if that means anything. Ken tells him to think about how much he can really trust Ace, and know that if they take Ace out tonight, they're somehow "guaranteed" to make it to the merge. Poor Ken. He knows how to play this game, but he's stuck with Matty who has probably never watched this show before and is a dumb as that rock ring he's carving for his girlfriend.
As Ken walks off with Sugar, he tells us that he doesn't trust Ace at all. He knows Ace has alliances back in the Kota tribe and he knows that Sugar will do whatever Ace tells her to. That makes him very dangerous. He's absolutely right, but that won't do him any good since the rest of his tribe is too stupid to see it. Surprisingly, Sugar immediately says she knows that people like Ace are all about blindsiding nice, sweet people like her. And yet, she gave him her idol. I don't get Sugar at all. Ken says he and Sugar should "stick together." Sugar asks if she should take her idol back from Ace. "You gave Ace the idol?!?!" Ken says, shocked beyond words. Every time Ken thinks this tribe is as stupid as it can possibly be, something like this happens. "Are you crazy?" he asks. He tries to spin things to make Ace look bad, saying that his insistence that Sugar give him the idol shows how he's manipulating her. Sugar says Ace never asked for the idol -- she freely volunteered to give it to him. Ken doesn't really know what to say, or if someone as stupid as Sugar could even spell Ace's name correctly if she were to write it down.
Ace and Sugar meet up in a field. Sugar tells him that she took her idol back from his bag to make sure someone else didn't get it. Can someone please explain the fucking idol rules to her already? What is she talking about? Does she think people are allowed to go into other people's bags and steal their idols? Then why wouldn't they have done that when they found the idol in her bag the first time? Ace says that's cool, and she won't need to play it tonight. She seems to totally trust that. Ken tells us that he made sure that Ace doesn't have the idol and Sugar does. Until she, like, gives it to that elephant across the lake for safekeeping. As Fang gets ready to go to Tribal, Ace says that Sugar has the idol again, and it's entirely possible that she's decided that she's gotten all the use out of Ace she can and will vote for him tonight. It's possible, but Ace very much doubts it. "Going in confident -- that could be the worst thing possible," he says. And yet, that's exactly what he's going to do.
Fang arrives at Tribal, and Probst lets out a big sigh to start the night. A big sigh for a big douche. He reminds Fang that they've lost eight out of the last ten challenges, and asks Matty how the tribe feels about this. "We're cursed!" Matty says. Probst asks Kelly what's going wrong, and she says they aren't able to come together and work as a team. Probst agrees with her, which means he's temporarily unable to say anything about Fang sucking because she's the worst challenge competitor ever and somehow drags the team down by being stronger than Ken. He says the challenge today was a good example of that. Crystal speaks up, saying that Ace dominated the flagpole assembly and wouldn't let them work as a team the way she wanted. Ace just says they didn't "come together as a group" in the end. Does he realize it's because he ordered everyone to step back and let him do it himself or is he actually this oblivious? He graciously says that he's probably mostly to blame for that. Probst asks Crystal if it would be "fair" to vote for Ace tonight because he screwed up at the end of the challenge. "Yeah," she says immediately. The musical flourish is shocked!
Probst then asks Crystal about her post-reward challenge crying jag. Crystal says she's sure some of her tribe mates saw it as a weakness and may well vote against her tonight because of it. The camera stays on Kelly, and Probst points out that she's nodding her head. "I never said she was weak," Kelly says, adding that the crying does make her think that the crier is "not stable." Ace has to stop himself from laughing, while Crystal is outraged. She says Kelly doesn't know why Crystal is crying. She's crying because they're losing and they're starving, and if Kelly can't understand that then she won't last too much longer in this game. "You took me crying one time as a sign of weakness? I don't think so," Crystal pouts. Okay, she's way too hung up on this crying = weakness thing. Kelly never said she was weak. I really don't think Kelly saw it as a weakness. I think Crystal sees it as a weakness, and that's why she keeps accusing everyone else of that. As for Probst, he gets off a great line with: "Kelly didn't say you were weak. Kelly said you were unstable." "That's worse," Crystal realizes. Kelly says she didn't get an explanation as to why Crystal was upset, so she had to guess. Crystal says it should have been obvious that she wasn't crying "over no dag-gone Danishes!" Sugar giggles. It was funny, but I'm still not sure what this fight is even about other than Crystal's insecurities.
Kelly decides to do some damage control. She says she wasn't going around knocking Crystal for crying. Ace was doing that. At this, Ace jumps in and tells her to stop trying to throw him under the bus "for no apparent reason" (I think the reason is very apparent -- she wants to tribe to vote Ace out and not her), and explains that all he said about Crystal was that he understood why she was upset because losing all the time is very frustrating. Probst asks Kelly if Ace is telling the truth. She says he's lying, but she is incapable of presenting an articulate and well-reasoned argument, so no one is going to believe her over a guy with a fake English accent. "Honestly, Kelly, I'd be impressed if you understood what I was saying half the time," he says. Yes, well, it is difficult when the accent keeps shifting, but I don't think that's what he meant. Meanwhile, Sugar is having a great time. Kelly says that Ace always has to have the last word, effectively giving herself the last word.
Probst asks Matty if he's feeling secure tonight. Matty says this tribe is completely illogical, so anyone could go home tonight. With that, it's time to vote. Ace votes for "Kelli," and I think he spelled her name wrong on purpose. We don't see who Crystal votes for, but she says "forget you. Go home." I don't care who goes home tonight, to be honest. I hope it's Ace, because I can't stand him and I'd love to see Probst's head explode, but I doubt it'll happen.
Probst returns with the urn and asks if anyone wants to play her idol. Sugar stays put. Probst reads the votes: first vote is for "Kelli." Second is for Crystal. Third vote is for Kelly, and she nods, pretty sure she's going home tonight. And then the rest of the votes are for Kelly, so she's right. Crystal is very pleased, as is Ace. And probably Probst too, since he hated her so much. Kelly walks out and Probst says this is the first Tribal Council where he's seen some "true passion." What does that even mean? Did Sugar leave the idol in the Tribal Council fire for safekeeping? Was it weak of Crystal to cry over the Danishes? So many questions in this episode.
Oh, and in the ending credits, we see that Crystal accompanied her vote for Kelly with a big ol' middle finger. That almost redeems her shameful athletic performance thus far.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at saramorrison@gmail.com, especially if you know where she can get a really nice HDTV for cheap.
Read our early predictions of who's going home and who's staying the course in our Gabon: Who Will Outwit, Outplay and Outlast gallery.