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James' infected finger is looking bad going into the reward challenge, where everyone's mood is brightened by the presence of family. Parvati and Natalie get their mothers, Alexis, Amanda, and Erik get their siblings (Erik's is surprisingly cool and has regular hair), James gets his dad, and Cirie gets her husband. Alexis wins the reward challenge and gets to choose two other players and their family members to accompany her and her brother to Jellyfish Lake, which we've seen before as a reward back in the Palau season. Alexis selects Cirie and Natalie and then gets to choose who goes to Exile Island. She sends Amanda, who doesn't seem to mind. While everyone's off at reward or Exile, the medics check James' finger again and decide he has to leave the game, as the infection is too deep and too close to his finger joint. Consoled by the fact that he'll now get to eat all the apples he wants, he gives a tearful Parvati a friendly hug good-bye on his way out. While Alexis, Cirie, and Natalie check out some jellyfish and Cirie conquers her fear of the outdoors (in regards to non-stinging jellyfish, at least), Amanda proves that she really does have a purpose in this game as she finds all the clues to the latest hidden immunity idol. She also finds out it's not buried on Exile Island, but under the flag back at camp by a very, very clever producer. Amanda is reunited with the James-less group for the immunity challenge, which Erik wins. The women knows this means they're going to have to vote out an alliance member, and the most likely candidate is Amanda, who tells everyone she didn't get the immunity idol on Exile and dumps out her bag to prove it. So while they're off talking about booting Amanda, she's off plotting with Parvati to dig up the idol and not tell anyone else. Of course, we don't find out if Amanda was able to get the idol until tribal council, where she plays hurt and angry at an inevitable boot and everyone buys it. And then when the votes have been cast and tallied and Probst asks if anyone wants to play their idol, Amanda waits a second for effect before triumphantly handing Probst her idol, shocking the others and making me jump up and down on my couch and cheer for her, because it was awesome. The jury (now including James and his IV pole, like, if he has to walk with an IV pole maybe he's not healthy enough to be there yet?) act similarly, especially, of course, Eliza. With four votes for Amanda discounted, Alexis -- the person who sent Amanda to Exile Island and the idol in the first place -- is voted out, while tough-talking "ruthless" Natalie looks like she wants to throw up.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open where we left off last week, with James reporting to the official "Survivor Medical Services" boat, where his bandages are removed and the doctor lady gets yet more screen time. She's like another contestant at this point! James tells us that the cut on his finger was "no big deal" and probably came from a clam shell. I think it's from another evil challenge. It's no big deal, and yet he's hooked up to an IV (presumably full of antibiotics) while the doctor cleans out the wound and warns James that if the infection gets worse, he may no longer be able to use that finger joint. "That's not something that we want at all," she assures us. James agrees, especially since in his grave-digging profession, that could be a career-ending injury. The doctor says they'll check it out tomorrow morning, and if it still looks bad, he'll have to go to the hospital.
Can I just say that Amanda looks kind of bad ass in the opening credits where she's jumping into the water and breaking a tile? For some reason, this week seems like the right time to do that. James returns to Dabu, where Amanda is sincerely worried about his condition and the rest of the girls fake their concern. James brushes it off, saying the finger is just "inflamed." Amanda tells us (in creepy night vision!) that James' finger injury is really close to the joint, which is bad. The medics will come back tomorrow and look at it to determine if he can stay in the game. Amanda's hoping he will, of course.
The morning, Alexis wants some of James' attention so she shows off an injury of her own. Apparently she was wandering around in the dark last night and fell. In fact, it was "the worst fall I've ever had," she says. I personally don't have a list of my falls and their rankings, but Alexis is special. The injury doesn't look too bad from what I can tell -- just a scrape below her left knee -- but it's hard to tell. She whines about the injury while Cirie tells us that she knows she shouldn't be saying this since she's a nurse, but she's positively delighted at this turn of events, as that's two less people in her way to a million dollars. FOR REAL! It's true! You know everyone's thinking it!
Terrible music plays us into the reward challenge. Seriously, what instrument is that? It sounds like a combination of a train whistle and a fart. The players enter to find little dolls versions of themselves. The Erik doll is a particularly accurate depiction. I don't think they got the Natalie doll's boobs right, but then, neither did her surgeon. Parvati laughs that they got her bikini right on her doll. I'd imagine that's because the guys in charge of painting them have spent many a minute staring at that bikini and what it holds. Probst gets down to business and explains the challenge. The contestants will answer survey questions about themselves in private, and then answer them, trying to guess which name was said by the majority of the players. With each correct answer, you get to chop another player's rope. Once that player's rope has been chopped three times, it'll send a weight down onto a spiked pole that will destroy the doll. The challenge people loved the custom dolls so much that they couldn't bear to destroy one of them for the purposes of demonstration and destroyed an unpainted one instead. The last player with an intact doll is the winner. And what will he or she win? It's friends and family time!
First we see Parvati's mom, Gail, and you can totally tell she's her mom. Gail hugs Parvati and says she looks and smells great. Aw, Moms. Erik gets to see his brother Curt, who, shockingly, has a shaved head. "You look so funny," Curt greets his brother. I like Curt. He makes fun of Erik's beard and then Erik points out Probst: "It's Jeff Probst! He's just standing there!" I kind of love that Erik is still thrilled by this, even though he is wearing short shorts when he says it. As for Probst, he just says: "Erik, you're a freak" while he fills out an application for a restraining order. Curt, by the way, just laughs and thinks his brother is a huge dork. Natalie is already crying because she knows her mother is coming out . "Rocky, come on out!" Probst says. HOLD UP! ROCKY?! For real? I can't wait to see what comes charging out of those bushes. It's actually a woman who looks like what would happen if all of my elementary school teachers mated. I don't know if that's befitting of the name Rocky. Anyway, even though ROCKY is considerably larger than her daughter, you can still see the resemblance in the face and they hug and Natalie shows off her hairy armpit, which, like, thanks for that. It was bad enough when everyone raised their arms for that bucket challenge. You guys with HDTVs are in for a real treat season! Alexis's brother Nathan comes out . Why would she choose her brother to come out? I'd choose my mom, but my mom wouldn't come. She doesn't want to be on TV. Or anywhere that involves having to get shots. So I guess my dad would be the one visiting instead. But not my brother. He'd just be like Curt and make fun of me. Amanda's sister Katrina runs out and says her sister smells "better than last time." Amanda doesn't have much of a reaction, as usual. No tears or anything! As for James, he gets his dad, "James Sr." The guys exchange a man-hug and James Sr. says he's been dieting in the hopes that his stomach will soon match his son's. And last but not least is HB, who Probst calls Cirie's "man." HB runs out, and I see they've decided to play cheery calypso island music at the sight of a black man in dreadlocks. HB and Cirie hug and he gives her a flower. Awww!
Hugs over, Probst says that the winner will go to Jellyfish Lake with his or her family member for what will be a "one of a kind experience." Except it isn't, because I saw this reward during the Palau season. LAME! Surely there's somewhere else in Micronesia you can send these people without having to recycle? And like we wouldn't notice? It's Jellyfish freaking Lake! A lake full of thousands of stingless jellyfish tends to stick out in your mind. Also, someone will be sent to Exile Island where there is yet another immunity idol.
The players fill out their surveys and it's time to play! First question: Who does the most for the tribe? Everyone guesses James except for James, who says Erik. D'oh! They're all correct, and James, Sr. totally brims with pride at his son's work ethic, even though it won't keep him around much longer. Cirie chops first, and she takes out Amanda even though they're totally in an alliance, right? Maybe she just hates Amanda's sister. Natalie chops , and makes a move like she's going to remove someone's jugular with that axe. Except that she's all talk, as usual, and just chops Erik's rope. Which is stupid, since Erik is the to go, so, of course, he chops her right back. Alexis chops James, and he threatens to "fix" her. Parvati chops James as well. Surprisingly, Amanda chops Parvati. Probst says Cirie and Alexis are the only ones without a chop, and the question is who never shuts up. Gail raises her hand from the stands. I don't believe you get a vote here, Gail. Quiet down. All the votes are for either Parvati or Alexis (which makes me wonder if she was all chatty in the beginning of the game and the producers just didn't show us any of the footage, causing me to think she was mute). Parvati votes for Alexis, but Parvati is the winning answer. Erik and Alexis chop each other. James chops Alexis. Amanda chops Cirie, saying she's getting even. Why didn't she get even last time when she had the chance? That makes me think they probably showed us the choppings out of order. Not like it really matters.
Third question: Who mistakenly thinks he or she is in control of this game? Oooh, that's interesting. I would say the answer is Jason, who's probably sitting in the jury pen right now thinking he can't wait to play his idol. The answers are in, and everyone says Parvati except for Parvati and Alexis, who says Cirie. Wrong! Cirie accurately thinks she's in control of this game. Parvati doesn't like what the answers say at all, and you can tell. But it's hard to fly under the radar when you're mimicking stirring a cauldron and cackling. James chops Parvati. Amanda chops Natalie. Erik chops Cirie, and she shoots him quite the glare. You're going down, Erik. Natalie chops Amanda. And then it's Cirie's turn. She chops Parvati, and that's it for her doll, which shatters as it's hit by spikes. James laughs his ass off. Amanda is shocked by the violence. Parvati warns Cirie that she's in trouble, except that it's a hollow threat since she's out of the game.
question: Who is the most honest? Everyone has to think about this since none of them are honest. Hilariously, Natalie chooses herself. That's like the "everything I say is a lie" paradox. The correct answer is Alexis, which only Cirie answers accurately. She chops Erik, which is smart since this is his last chop so he won't be able to get her back. His doll shatters, the little hairpiece falling last. That's what you get for messing with Cirie.
question: Who are you least likely to invite to a family dinner? Wow, that's a particularly evil question. Everyone says James, including James, except for Natalie because she probably thought it would look super racist to put James down. "What's up with that?" wonders James, Sr. I'd like to know the answer to that as well, actually. I'd be least likely to invite Erik, since the last family dinner he went to he ended up strung out on betel nuts and barfing on sacred land. So now it's time to chop, and Alexis goes first with everyone left having one chop left before he's out. So it sucks to go first, since you know whoever you chop down and take out of the game is going to get you back and take you out as well. Alexis takes out James, and James Sr. is NOT pleased. "Wait until I get back home, we're going to talk about her," he mutters. I love James Sr. Put him on the show! James gets to chop , and he heads for Cirie despite her pleas that she never chopped him and the fact that Alexis is the one who took him out of the game in the first place. He doesn't care and out she goes, much to her husband's disappointment.
Amanda takes out Natalie, and ROCKY will kill her for this. Cirie gets the final chop, and it's between Amanda and Alexis. Cirie heads right for Amanda, who's pissed and surprised. Don't know why she's surprised, though. She's at the bottom of the alliance. Alexis isn't. And if it wasn't obvious before, it should be now. Alexis gets to pick two players to come with her along with their loved ones. Alexis picks Cirie, since Cirie is the reason she won, and Cirie is thrilled, jumping up and down and running to her husband. Alexis also chooses Natalie, which means MORE ROCKY!!!! And, of course, Alexis has to pick who goes to Exile. "Um," Alexis starts. Amanda raises her hand and Alexis is happy to have a volunteer. Amanda stands and asks if she can hug her sister good-bye. "Nope!" Probst says. He follows that up with a "sorry," but I don't think he means it. Probst is one ice-cold motherfucker. Amanda leaves and Probst sends the rest of the loved ones away. He tells James to go to medical about the finger again.
After the break, Dr. Carolyn Sein takes a look at James' finger. James tells us he hopes she'll say it looks better and clear him to continue the game. Uh, yeah. Sure. Dr. Sein asks James if he's in pain and he says no. She warns him to be honest. He admits that's it's sore on the side of the knuckle. It looks gross. Swollen and nasty. How did humans, like, survive before antibiotics? Probst takes a knee, so you know it's serious. Dr. Sein says the wound is deep, and squeezes James' finger to show us. Thanks, lady. Probst rapid-fire demands to know what Dr. Sein's call is here. She says it's too big of a risk and James has to leave the game. Ah, well. He didn't have much longer anyway. James gets to say good-bye to the members of his tribe who aren't on reward or Exile Island, and Parvati and James hug even though he hates her now. She tearfully tells us that James is a great guy and shouldn't have to "go out like that." This rings sort of hollow when you know that she was going to vote him out at tribal as soon as possible anyway. Erik watches James go and says he's the only man left.
Meanwhile, over at Jellyfish Lake, the winner and her chosen ones are blissfully unaware of the latest developments as they enjoy their prize. Everyone dives in and hangs out with the stingless jellyfish that crowd the lake. One person even, like, pets the jellyfish. Cirie says this was a "breakthrough" for her and she doesn't have to be afraid of "every little thing" in either nature or water or both. Yeah, well, anyone can be brave in a lake full of stingless jellyfish. Also, this is an interesting breakthrough to have after being on this show for almost two full seasons. I mean, I love you and all Cirie, but you don't know how to swim. What's up with that?
And over at Exile Island, Amanda needs that idol more than ever with James out, although she doesn't know it yet. She begins her search, and I'm not sure how much faith I have in Amanda's abilities. Although I guess if Jason could find it twice, she certainly can. My pet guinea pig could find the idol, and he's been dead for fifteen years. Also, the clue writers are obviously sick of doing this, so they lay out some pretty easy clues in plain sight, all within, like, ten feet of each other. Amanda finds the third clue by stepping on it underwater. Unfortunately, the last clue involves digging, which we all know Amanda sucks at considering her performance in the key-finding leg of last week's immunity challenge. After digging up like half the beach, though, she finds the final clue! She's thrilled and relieved, and I'm surprised to find myself also being happy about this. I want Amanda to last in this game as long as possible, if only to wipe that smirk off of Natalie's jugular-threatening face. The idol is not with the last clue, which tells Amanda she can find it back at Dabu, buried underneath the flag. And I don't know how the producers knew to do this, but that right there pretty much changes this game.
The reward crew, now donning their loved ones' fresh, clean clothes, arrive back at the beach that night. One wonders what Parvati and Erik did while everyone else was gone for hours. I'll bet it was awkward! Parvati's on the beach to meet them, and she tells them about James. Alexis pretends to be upset at the news. Or maybe she genuinely is upset, if only because she's worried that she, too, will fall victim to the mandatory medical boot. Alexis really thinks her knee injury is something special, doesn't she? Cirie gets right down to business, telling us that if they want an all-girl Final Five, Erik has to lose the immunity challenge. If he wins, the women will "start eating each other," she says. Heh heh heh. Heh heh.
The morning, Alexis is whining about her knee again and how she's shaky and has no stability, but Parvati knows a way to make her shut up about it for good. "Do you really feel like you can do this for seven more days?" she asks. Alexis says yes, there's no question. "So you don't want us to vote you out?" Parvati asks hopefully. Way to give yourself away there, Parvati. Alexis does not like that question. In fact, she looks like she wants to kill Parvati. "Because you just look like you're in excruciating pain," Parvati adds. And yet, somehow, I don't think she's saying this because she's concerned about Alexis' health, do you? "I can deal with that," Alexis says, jaw clenched. I guess she'll shut up about her sore knee now, won't she? Alexis tells us that Parvati said they could vote her out so she could get medical attention. Alexis finds this threatening and now has doubts about Parvati's loyalty. Maybe the time to doubt that loyalty was when Parvati turned on her first alliance, hm? Alexis changes the subject to what they should do if Erik wins the challenge, and it's clear that no one wants to be the first person to suggest booting Amanda. But, as we know, Natalie is a fearless ball of evil, so she simply says that she doesn't want to face Amanda in the final three, because she'd definitely lose. She's probably right. Amanda is the only one there who hasn't screwed everyone over, except for when she voted for Jason despite promising him she wouldn't. But now that everyone has screwed Jason over, she's probably pretty low on his shit list. Cirie has screwed people over, but I'm not sure if they know it or not. Parvati once again puts a big target on her back by refusing to go along with the consensus of her alliance and saying she's very close to Amanda and couldn't bring herself to vote for her right now. Although she probably wouldn't mind if everyone else did it for her. I'll bet she wouldn't -- it would eliminate the competition AND make Parvati look good to the jury.
And it's time for the immunity challenge! The players arrive and greet Amanda, who immediately notices a lack of James. She looks like she wants to barf when they tell her what happened. "Oh my god!" she says, stunned. "The game continues!" Probst barks. It kind of sucks that she didn't get to say good-bye to him or anything, especially since I'm pretty sure the medics knew James would have to leave the game the first time they saw him and only kept him in there until after the reward challenge to make things more exciting. Probst says three people leaving the game without being voted out is a "Survivor first." Way to contribute to that dubious achievement, Kathy! Probst seems disgusted, but it's not like James or Jonathan could help it. Maybe time, the producers will choose a location that isn't swarming with bacteria and challenges that are full of spikes and other flesh-penetrating instruments. And cast someone who won't quit.
For today's challenge, contestants will fire a "high-powered rifle" into sake bottles filled with colored liquid, all the better to shatter fantastically with. Each player has three bottles, and the first person to break all of his wins. There is a random draw to choose the shooting order, and of course Natalie wins it because she always wins these random draws. Natalie takes aim and fires, smashing her bottle. And they may be using a "high-powered rifle," but those do not look like bullets they're shooting. Nor does the rifle seem very high-powered, since the projectile is fired slowly enough to be seen by the naked eye. Amanda is , and she misses. Parvati nails her bottle. Cirie misses hugely. Like, she almost breaks Natalie's bottle. Actually, that's not a bad idea: If the girls are so obsessed with one of them beating Erik in the challenge, why not just pick one woman and have everyone shoot at her bottles instead of her own? Erik's up, and he breaks his bottle. The ladies are clearly not pleased about this, but Amanda congratulates Erik anyway. Alexis is last up, and her knee is too sore for her to hit her bottle.
Second round! Natalie hits her bottle, but it doesn't break. She's pissed. I'd be too; that high-powered rifle truly sucks. I think I've seen higher-powered rifles at the carnival shoot-out-the-star game. Erik, of course, is delighted. Amanda misses her bottle but almost hits Alexis'. Parvati misses. Cirie hits her name tag but misses the bottle. Erik shatters his second bottle and the girls start to sweat. Alexis misses yet again.
Third round! Natalie needs to hit her bottle. She does. Despite the camera showing Amanda aiming for one of her little bottles, Amanda hits the rope holding up the big one and it falls to the ground and shatters. Parvati misses, to which Probst says, "Parvati misses again." Cirie misses again. Before Erik goes, Probst reminds everyone that if he hits his bottle, he wins immunity. Erik aims carefully while the girls pray he misses. But God hates them, so Erik hits his third and last bottle. Probst proclaims him the winner while the girls exchange "Oh shit" looks. Except for Alexis who is laughing for some reason. I guess because she thinks there's just no way she's the one going home tonight. None at all! Probst puts the necklace around Erik's neck and he somehow refrains from laughing in all the girls' faces. So I'll do it from my couch. Ha ha ha! There goes your alliance! Get ready to eat each other!
Upon their return to the beach, a very clever Amanda immediately announces that she doesn't have the idol. To prove it, she empties her bag in front of them. As she does this, she lies that she couldn't find the third clue, which was underwater and the current was too strong. Once everything is out of Amanda's bag, the girls say the idol is cursed anyway, seemingly buying what Amanda's selling. And why not? It would never occur to me that the idol was hidden at the camp, although I would wonder why Amanda was so eager to show me that she's vote-off-able, especially when she's obviously the person going home tonight since Erik just won immunity. But I think the women are too relieved to have someone to vote out tonight to think about this. Shockingly, the chickens that we haven't seen in like five episodes are still alive. Or at least, they were. One of them is going to get eaten tonight. Natalie volunteers for chicken-killing duty so she can make earrings out of its feet and exfoliate with its gizzard or something.
Meanwhile, Amanda takes Parvati for a walk, where she reveals that the idol is buried at camp. NOOOO! Don't tell her! Noooo! Why would she think she can trust Parvati after she got rid of Ozzy? But I guess she's figuring it's a risk worth taking because she needs someone's help. Fortunately for Amanda, Parvati is the right person to trust, since she wouldn't even agree with her own alliance to vote Amanda out tonight. Parvati squeals with delight at this turn of events, at first thinking that Amanda somehow buried the idol herself without anyone seeing. Amanda should have just let her think that; Parvati would probably start worshipping her as a god. But she tells her about the last clue and then they get down to deciding who to vote out tonight. Parvati wants Alexis to go but Amanda wants to take out Natalie, thinking she's the bigger challenge threat. Which is a good point, seeing as Alexis can't stop talking about her sore knee that will presumably affect her ability to win challenges. Then again, Natalie lost the bucket endurance challenge because she, like, forgot where she was and then her pants fell down so she's not exactly Little Miss Immunity, either. Parvati also reveals that the girls have been talking about voting Amanda out tonight. Then we miss the part of the conversation where Parvati suggests bringing Erik in on their plan and go to Amanda saying she doesn't think she can trust Erik to vote with them. Parvati thinks she should try reminding Erik that she kept him in the game once before.
But she can't right now, as Alexis is talking to Erik. He wants Amanda out too, since she'd do really well in the Final Three. Alexis also points out that Amanda is a big challenge threat. They should take her out now while they have the chance. "Luckily, she doesn't have the idol," Erik says. Alexis agrees. It doesn't even occur to them that Amanda could still somehow have the idol.
Amanda walks past the idol burial site on her way to talk to Erik. Stupidly deciding to go with honesty and not even entertain the thought of, like, trying to make a play with Amanda and Parvati, Erik says he's going to vote for either her or Parvati tonight. Amanda points out that she "helped" keep him in the game when he needed it. Well, not really. Amanda just didn't trust Ami. It's not like she was trying to do Erik any favors or that he owes her anything. Although it kind of sucks that he was so grateful to Ozzy for that vote and not Amanda. Erik says Amanda's the toughest person left in challenges besides him, and he knows that the only way he's staying in the game is to win challenges because it's not like he's going to try using, like, strategy or anything like that. Amanda says she kept Erik around even though he was a threat. "That's what bother me, Erik," Amanda says, which I'm sure will win him over because who doesn't love a guilt trip? "I guess it's over," Amanda says, asking Erik to at least be honest about who he's voting for tonight. He says he's voting for her. Amanda (wisely, I think) decides against telling him about idol.
Erik brings a freshly-plucked chicken to Cirie and asks her if she's "on board" with voting for Amanda while Alexis watches. I love how Erik seems completely unaware of the fact that they'd all be voting for him tonight if he hadn't won immunity. Now is the time to make a move, not go along with the crowd, Erik. Cirie doesn't hestitate to agree to vote for Amanda. She tells us that she doesn't want to see Amanda go but knows that this is the right move strategically because she doesn't think she or Parvati could beat Amanda in the Final Three. "It's the game, you know? The game must go on," Cirie says. So she talks to Amanda and tells her that the other girls and Erik are voting for Amanda out tonight. Amanda suggests that Cirie vote with her and Parvati, but Cirie doesn't see the point in creating a tie, because then it'll be down to picking colored rocks and Cirie might get sent home. Or Cirie and Erik could vote with Parvati and Amanda instead of Alexis and Natalie. But they won't because they don't want to face Amanda at the end, and that's the bottom line. Amanda asks Cirie for the truth; are they voting for her? Cirie hesitates, then admits that yes, they are. "Thanks for being honest," Amanda pouts. She then asks Cirie for her word that, if things were different, Cirie would stick with her and Parvati. Cirie says she definitely would and wanted the three of them to make it to the end. Not enough to do anything about it, although Amanda doesn't point that out.
Everyone sits around eating chicken soup. Amanda isn't there, and her absence is duly noted. Parvati coolly explains that Amanda is off washing her armpits because they smelled. I'm sure Amanda really appreciated that cover story, but it got the job done, right? While the rest of the contestants eat their chicken and believe that Amanda's a dead duck, Amanda grabs a shovel and digs for her Survivor life. She says if she doesn't find the idol, she's out tonight. We don't see if she gets it or not, but she's got a pretty deep hole dug so far with no sign of the idol yet. The suspense, it builds.
The moon shoots up into the sky and it's time for tribal council. The jury enters and Eliza has an immediate reaction to the lack of James. But he is there! For maximum dramatic effect, James comes in separately, staggering in tribal council WITH AN IV POLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Come on! Amanda cries. Everyone is shocked. As James takes a seat with the jury, Probst explains that James had to leave the game and had an infection, so he has an IV bag. That is ridiculous.
Probst opens it up by asking Amanda if she found the idol at Exile. Ozzy sarcastically pumps his fist in the air as Jason laughs, so useless is the idol. When it's in the hands of idiots, yes. By the way, while everyone else looks fresh and clean, Jason still looks pretty much the same as when he was voted out. Amanda says she couldn't find it and knows that she threw away her only chance to stay past tonight. She's convincingly upset about it, too. The sight of James probably helped her out here. Probst asks Cirie who the physical threats are. She says Erik and Amanda. Probst points out that Erik can't be voted out tonight. Amanda says that almost everyone already told her that they're voting for her tonight except for Parvati, who says Amanda is like her "little sister" and she can't vote for her. This also makes Parvati look slightly better to the jury, although I doubt there's anything she can do to make them not hate her. Amanda acts the part of a wronged contestant, saying that she thought she had that same bond with Erik and came through for Erik when he needed her, but now that the tables are turned, he can't be bothered. Erik says Amanda is blaming him unfairly and putting the whole thing on him when there are three other people voting for her. Amanda says she helped Erik through the merge and just wanted the same loyalty in return. Cut to the jury, who are shaking their heads disapprovingly except for Eliza, who's just gawking. "I'm pretty pissed off right now," Amanda says. Oh, she is good, isn't she? Not only will she shock almost everyone with the idol, but she's going to make sure Erik looks bad to the jury as well. Probst is loving this. He asks Natalie who concerns her the most. Natalie says Amanda does, because she hasn't screwed over anyone who is in the jury right now. And Natalie can say this because she's that sure Amanda is going tonight and wants to butter Amanda up to vote for her at the end by saying what a great, honest person Amanda is. Alexis agrees and says that everyone adores and respects Amanda, but this is the game. Those two are so sure that they're on top of everything that they will just straight-out tell people they're going home tonight, even the people who just spent two days on an island with an immunity idol. Even if you couldn't predict that the idol was buried at Dabu, wouldn't you at least entertain the thought that perhaps Amanda had hidden the idol somehow before showing the contents of her bag? That maybe she was an expert at sleight of hand? Man, confidence makes you an idiot. Amanda rolls her eyes with righteous indignation. Probst sends everyone off to vote.
Natalie votes for Amanda, saying if she didn't vote her out tonight, she'd basically be giving her the million. Meanwhile, Cirie is holding Amanda's hand for support even though she voted for her! How does Cirie get away with this? Alexis also votes for Amanda and draws a little heart on the vote. Um, okay. I can't wait to see Amanda throw down that idol. CAN'T WAIT. Can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces, especially Alexis and Natalie. But most especially, Eliza. While Probst is off tallying the votes, Parvati and Amanda hug sadly like Amanda's departure is inevitable. Probst asks if anyone has the idol before he reads the votes. There's a pause and I'm like AMANDA YOU HAVE IT RIGHT??? I start to worry that maybe her act was sincere and she couldn't find the idol after all. And then -- AND THEN -- "About that, Jeff," Amanda says, rising as she reaches into her bag. Yes! YES! Alexis is shocked. Natalie is shitting herself. Erik just rolls his eyes. The jury can't contain themselves. Eliza is pumping both fists in the air while Jason drums on his knees. Even Ozzy has a smile for this. Amanda has a little speech first, and tells everyone that when she said she didn't have the idol, she was telling the truth. Cirie smiles, confident that she will not be the victim of this blindside. Amanda swings the idol around her little finger as she struts over to Probst while Eliza delights in this. Natalie is still shocked and horrified, probably because she's figuring she'll be the one going home with Alexis having that sore knee.
Probst goes over the idol rules -- all votes for the person with the idol will be thrown out -- and Alexis is shocked. Some "fan" she is. Meanwhile, Amanda is fucking beaming. Big old smile on her face. And I can't blame her for that at all. Probst pronounces Amanda's idol legit and starts counting the votes while Alexis and Natalie make bitchfaces. The first vote is for Amanda and doesn't count. My roommate, who doesn't watch this show and now sees what he's been missing, says, "I never realized how beautiful she was until she whipped that immunity idol out." Second vote is for Amanda. Eliza is thrilled. Third vote is for Amanda, who cheers. Natalie looks sick. A fourth vote is for Amanda. So everyone voted for her, just like they said they would. Now let's see who Parvati and Amanda chose to boot. The fifth vote is for Alexis, who rolls her eyes, pretty sure of what's coming. YOU SENT HER TO EXILE AND NOW LOOK!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it. And here comes the final vote: ALEXIS! BUH BYE! While Alexis and Natalie hug, Amanda smiles deviously. I can't believe she actually played. SHE PLAYED! I take back everything I said about her, especially last week. Girlfriend was just biding her time, waiting for her moment. I thought her moment was when she wrestled the shark, but I now see it was this, and she did it perfectly, and it was awesome to watch. Probst extinguishes Alexis' torch and she limps off into the night. Amanda blows her a kiss that doesn't seem very sincere to me. Probst congratulates them on "perfecting the art of the blindside" and sends them away from a grinning jury.
For her part, Alexis is gracious in defeat and says she never saw that coming but it's part of the game and she's happy with the way she played it. She's cheering for Natalie and she's "better for having been -- " and then she gets cut off. It just wasn't her week at all. I think I need a cigarette.
You can read more from Sara Morrison at L.A.me, which she occasionally updates when she's bored at work. Or you can try your luck emailing her at saramorrison@gmail.com with news that some Nigerian king died and she stands to gain ten percent of his fortune if she hands over her bank account info.